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Mark's 10am Monologue. · The Mark Simone Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: You just heard the news. Now you'll find out what
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: it all means.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: He smarts alone on seven tenoo.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Well, hey, we'll get to President Trump. We'll get to
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: a crazy mom, Donnie. We'll get to Don Rickles. It's
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: one hundredth birthday today. We'll get to Kamala Harris twenty
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: twenty eight. Yeah, it looks like it's gonna have We'll
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: get to the virus. Is it coming here? We'll get
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: to hakem We'll get to Mick Jagger. We'll get to
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: a lot of stuff to talk about today. It's Friday already.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: That's the good news. Bad news for Democrats. The job's
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: numbers are out and they're really good, way above estimates.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: This keeps happening, month after month after months. Stocks are
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: up as a result of a very strong jobs report.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: This is several months in a row, very strong jobs report.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Corporate spending his way up, earnings are coming in, they're
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: looking great. You know, every so often you get a
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: company'll be little company, Whirlpool, for instance, on their call
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: yesterday said business is plunging. So this is all you
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: hear about Whirlpool business. It fell off a cliff. And
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: they'll just play that up on. That's the only story
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: they'll tell you. They will not tell you that earnings
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: are up all over the place every other corporation. So
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: that's the problem. If you watch Network News or CNN
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: or MSNBC, you're getting one piece of the puzzle and
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: not the rest. So, as far as I ran, we've
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: seized one of their tankers overnight. They fired a shot here,
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: just little stuff. The ceasefire is in place. The President
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: calls it love tap, little love taps, but the ceasefire
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: is in place. President at the White House. This is
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: the final weekend of mar A Lago. It closes every
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: year on Mother's Day because it's way too hot to
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: be in Florida for the next six months. You might
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: want to bear that in mind if you're thinking to
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: move in there for six months. You can't go outside.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: So it closes on Mother's Day. This is the final weekend.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: I don't think he's going though. You know those old
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: ientas that clog up the dining room, those howie yo,
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: those women, I don't know what they're gonna do. He's
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: not gonna show up, So it looks like he's going
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: to Virginia later today. One of those l IV golf tournaments.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: They live l I V. Saudi Golf League. It looks
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: like the Saudi's are pulling out. Looks like it's probably
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: on its last legs. But they're having a big tournament
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: today at the Trump golf course in Virginia. He's got
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: a big golf club right outside of DC, so he'll
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: go there tonight for that. He's not going to Miami tonight.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: I don't think he'll go in Palm Beach. I don't
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: think he'll go tomorrow. He'll probably some weekends. He stays
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: around DC when it's warm out, the weather's good, plays
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: golf at his own course in Virginia, and he enjoys
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: it because in the Virginia golf course, everybody there says hello,
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: mister President, Hello, nice to see you. If you go
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: to the Palm Beach one to mar A Lago, everybody's
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: howie yo. It's a whole different crowd in in Virginia.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: So I think he'll stay up there all weekend. They've
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: decided on one thing. You know. Trump used Nancy Pelosi
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: for a long time as a good punching bag, a
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: good target, because she symbolizes everything rotten with politics in DC.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: So a woman making one hundred and seventy five thousand
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: a year who somehow on that salary is now worth
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: eight hundred million insider trading. Just a sleezeball, old fashioned, sleezy,
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: dirty politician for one hundred years, nine thousand years old.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: Still won't leave. So she was a great symbol, but
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: you can't really use her much anymore. She's on her
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: way out. The President has decided to elevate Hakeem Jeffries.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: He's going to start going after Hakeem Jeffries more and more.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: He's another symbol. He's a guy from like the most
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: radical left wing district in Brooklyn, like a real left wing,
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: a radical Democrat, and they like him because he can't talk.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: You know, whenever he has to speak on anything anywhere,
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: press conference, meet the press, whatever, these interns write up
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: talking points and he recites them, and he does it
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: in this robotic voice, and he always just repeats phrases,
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: just cliches the interns written for this war of choice.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: You know, he'll always said the president for this war
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: of choice. So they want to play him up that robot.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: You know, he looks like that the robot look in
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: his eyes. So they're going to make a much more
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: out of Hakem Jeffries. The other reason they like him,
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: if you've watched him carefully, clearly no personality. He's a
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: robot and he's low IQ, which is perfect. When you
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: can find a real low IQ Democrat, it's great to
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: put the spotlight on them. So you're going to see
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: a lot more of that. Kamala Harris is scaring a
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: lot of people in the Democratic Party because it looks
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: like she's really taken twenty twenty eight seriously. She had
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: a good chance to run for governor California. It would
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: have been a good opportunity for her. It's a big
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: open field on the Democratic side, and she turned it down,
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: which indicated she's looking at the presidency in twenty twenty eight.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: Now we're seeing behind the scenes that she's working hard,
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: pulling a lot of strings for twenty twenty eight. Now
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: she's got a top team of people that know how
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: to do that. Now she stinks as a candidate. She's
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: the worst candidate, just giggling, laughing, drunk, can't really articulate anything.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: Horrible candidate, has a track record of getting absolutely nothing
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: done in office, total failure, but This is perfect for
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: Democrats because far left and checks a lot of boxes.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: Black Indian woman, female from California, all these boxes democratic
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: boxes she checks. But again, she's got people as far
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: as campaign people, presidential campaign people. Gavin Newsom doesn't have that,
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: that fat Slaba, JB. Pritzker doesn't have that. You know,
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: try to take their state people, but they don't have
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: a lot of experience running big national campaign. So Kamala
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: pretty much is in the lead right now. Knows. Some
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: people have pointed out the fact that she has all
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: these top people, but she stinks as a candidate. Means
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: you're going in the race with the best car in
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: the race, but you're a terrible driver, so that never
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: really quite works out. Rama Manuel is the other one,
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: trying very hard behind the scenes. Now he's an extremely
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: unpleasant guy, Rama Manuel. He's a dirty politician, like a rough, tough,
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: dirty fighter, but very smart, very cunning. Knows how to
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: work that machine, that democratic machine. So keep an eye
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: on him. Hey, that big virus on that ship. You
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: keep hearing about this virus where the death rate is
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: like fifty it's the most deadly virus. Everybody's terrified of
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: it and everybody's worried about a pandemic coming here again,
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: you know, locked down again, wearing masks, stay at home.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: You know, you can only remember that. Remember the beginning
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: of the pandemic. This first few months, about all you
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: could do is go to the supermarket. Everything was closed,
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: every restaurant, everything. And then towards the middle of the year,
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: end of the year, the restaurants started to open, but
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: it was only ten percent. You had to eat outside.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: It was such such a strange perd Could that come back?
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: I don't think so, because every expert you talk to
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: says this virus is not airborne. It takes extremely close
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: contact to transmit. It can be transmitted by rats through
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: their urine, through their PCs, through that kind of but
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: it's this would be more like AIDS, where it takes
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: very close contact to transmit virus experts.
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: One thing I do want to just you know, kind
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: of calm the public. There's only about thirty k of
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: hauntavirus a year in the US. It is super rare.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a terrible name, hanta virus, but very very rare.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: It has been in the US for starting in like
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: nineteen ninety three, like thirty years ago. There's tiny amounts
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: they found on Ndred, couple of hundred cases. That was it,
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: and it never really spread because again it's not airborne.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: It takes really really close contact.
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: The bottom line is the rats that are in South
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: America Argentina for example, are different than the rats in
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: the United States. Yes, there is Haunta virus in the
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: United States. It's a different strain than the one in
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: South America. It is not spread from person to person.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the rats down. So South American rats have it.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: American rats. They got plenty of garbage, they got food
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: all over the street to eat. They're not gonna they're
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: not gonna carry anything. So Mick Chagger's been in town
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: all week promoting his album. He was on the Tonight Show.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: He doing all kinds of stuff. What do you think
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: he does at night? What do you what do you
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: picture Mick Jagger doing? No, you see, it's very strange.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: You think he's the rough, tough rock and roll now
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: he Wednesday night he went to Danielle's new restaurant, which
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: is this very elegant French steakhouse. It's called Le Tete
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: Dior by Danielle, and we got to get a picture
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: of Mick Jagger, know, something like that. Last night he
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: went to the Ballet Spring Gala. What happened to Mick Jagger?
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: French restaurant to ballet. It's not the same mc jagger anymore. So, Mom,
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: Donnie is apparently behind the scenes getting pressured by a
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: lot of people in New York, a lot of political people,
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: a lot of government people, to stop the war on billionaires.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: If these people leave, if these billionaires start leaving, it
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: is economic disaster for New York. You know. For a
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: guy who claims the love tax revenue, why would you
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: chase away the guys that paid most of the tax revenue.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: It's like owning a restaurant and chasing away your biggest customers.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: Any restaurant. We've got a handful of guys there, your
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: single biggest customers, spend a fortune. Why would you insult them,
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: annoy them, try to chase them out. It's ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: Many of them go to Florida, many of them go
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: to Texas. Here's Ron DeSantis.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: When you go in front of somebody's house.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: I remember he did that awful Ken Griffin video pointing
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: at Griffin's housing that's where he lives. Trying to demonize
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: and target this guy, here's DeSantis.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: When you go in front of somebody's house and try
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: to surveil that and put that out to the world
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: in the hopes, I believe they were trying to row
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: people up to maybe do something even worse. Of course,
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: you're gonna want to run from that area and you're
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: gonna want to embrace Florida. So I'm not surprised that
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: they're doing that, And obviously we'll just keep doing the
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: job that we're doing down here.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So a lot of people behind the scenes, a
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: lot of political people, even Democratic officials, just pressure mom, Donnie,
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: ease up on that stuff. You know, these billionaires that
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: have already left over the last ten years and have
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: gone to Florida cost US six hundred and sixty billion
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: in lost revenue, all the billionaires, all the people that
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: moved to Florida. That was six hundred and sixty billion
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: that we lost over ten years. So figure it's sixty
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: six seventy let's say it's sixty eight billion a year.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: That's a lot of revenue to lose from a state.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: You know, our budget in New York is what it
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: was one hundred and twenty billion. It's half the city's
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: budget left gone. So a lot of people. Let's see
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: if it works. Let's see if they make any headway
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: with mom Donnie. It's not going to be easy the
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: local people. Hukal is trying to get the budget done.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: She's quite the goofball, like a chicken running around with
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: its head cut off, doesn't know what she's doing. Announces
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: the budget deal. That's it. Budget deal is done, but
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: the Assembly speaker, the head of the legislature, has to
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: explain everybody it's not done.
• 12:04
  Speaker 4: There's no budget deal. I said to her last night.
• 12:06
  Speaker 4: I was comfortable with her saying to y'all, we were close.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: It is close.
• 12:11
  Speaker 4: But this is what's wrong with this process. It's like,
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna only talk about policy, and then when I
• 12:17
  Speaker 4: think the legislature has given me what I want on policy,
• 12:21
  Speaker 4: then we'll talk about money. There's so many open issues
• 12:25
  Speaker 4: on money.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, remember you had Giuliani, Bloomberg, Pataki, that's what was
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: running things. She had the Republicans controlling half the legislature.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: Now you got this guy Carl Heasty, you got all
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: these crazy left wing coops. Now for about thirteen years.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: Last thirteen years, Democrats have controlled every inch of the
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: government everything, city hall, state government, the Assembly, the legislature,
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: state senate, governor, mayor. Everybody was a Democrat last thirteen years.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: So if they're yelling about an affordability crisis, guess who's responsible.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: They've been running everything for thirteen years. So if there's
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: all this stuff wrong with affordability, the rent of this,
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: that's their fault. They own it. Hey, throughout the show,
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: Let's take a look back at Don Rickles. It's his
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: one hundredth birthday today. Don Rickles a hundred today. He
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: was a regular visitor on this show. Let's take a
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: listen to a little Don Rickles on this show. Not
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: long joy see. Let me ask you, but that you're
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: on the Letterman Show the other night. You're doing something.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: You looked at the guy and you said, see, it's
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: all attitude. It's all attitude. H It's the way you
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: tell those jokes. I mean, actually, you've never even told
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: a joke in your life.
• 13:38
  Speaker 5: Never Mark, It's true. Glad to observe that. No, I
• 13:41
  Speaker 5: believe it's I always said attitude. You know, I can
• 13:44
  Speaker 5: say to a guy, you know the sweat is ridiculous
• 13:47
  Speaker 5: and don't laugh, don't ask me, but I know why,
• 13:50
  Speaker 5: because there's the way to say a thing. Uh, Comedians today,
• 13:54
  Speaker 5: each one has I think with God, I had a
• 13:57
  Speaker 5: lot of rejection, as you can imagine. Yeah, got Joe
• 14:00
  Speaker 5: Schandori Restssoli, you know, the elegant gave me the big
• 14:04
  Speaker 5: training drum behind there, you know in Brooklyn. Yeah, what
• 14:07
  Speaker 5: I was doing bout Mitzman's weddings, Catholic dances and anything
• 14:10
  Speaker 5: that moved. I was doing shows and have a good background.
• 14:14
  Speaker 5: You know.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: Hey, but Don Rickles, you're becoming the biggest commedyy on
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: earth and you have never in your life told a joke.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: In the beginning, these guys must have said to you,
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: got to tell some jokes. You got to do something
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: like that.
• 14:23
  Speaker 5: Absolutely, I know. I never did. I never did. I
• 14:26
  Speaker 5: used to do it like on me and other comedians.
• 14:28
  Speaker 5: They used to do impersonations that were kind of sad.
• 14:31
  Speaker 5: But yeah, that that kept me going in the market.
• 14:34
  Speaker 5: All right.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: Now, Now tell me I always ask you this for
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: twenty years. You never explained. Tell me the secret. Like
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: when you say to a guy, when you say the letterman,
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: that's it. You're finished. You say it and it's not insulting,
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: it's funny. How do you do it?
• 14:45
  Speaker 5: Well, thank you. It's all in your personality. You can't
• 14:48
  Speaker 5: teach somebody that, you know, Yeah, you know, I you
• 14:52
  Speaker 5: know Frank Sinacha Garis So here was my biggest spoil
• 14:55
  Speaker 5: Here was so nobody could do what I did with Frank.
• 14:58
  Speaker 5: He was so great to me. I mean, you know,
• 15:00
  Speaker 5: we'd be eating and you know, talking. You say, no, pastor,
• 15:04
  Speaker 5: but I said, can't you see, Frank, I'm busy? What
• 15:06
  Speaker 5: do you want? And he would fall him. You know.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: All right? Now, if I said can't you see I'm busy,
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: it would sound stupid. What what is it that you do?
• 15:13
  Speaker 5: You?
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: I know one thing you do? You're an incredible actor.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: There were a lot of notes in that when you
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: said that.
• 15:17
  Speaker 5: Well, thank you.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you said you're like the Sonatra of comedy. You like,
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: have incredible acting ability built in the way.
• 15:23
  Speaker 5: Thanks, But I appreciate that.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you know.
• 15:26
  Speaker 5: I went to the American Academy at Driadic Arts. They
• 15:28
  Speaker 5: try to keep it quiet.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: A great time. Richols one hundred years old today. Well,
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: well we'll play some more of them a little later on. Hey,
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: well take some calls Next eight hundred three two one
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: zero seven ten is the number eight hundred three two
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: one zero seven ten