Latest / The LIVing Room with Liv Harrison / She Quit Youth Ministry, Went Full-Time Artist, Then Closed Up Shop - Valarie Delgado

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She Quit Youth Ministry, Went Full-Time Artist, Then Closed Up Shop - Valarie Delgado · The LIVing Room with Liv Harrison

• 0:00
  Like there's times where he will literally just be with you.
• 0:02
  Yeah, you he will weather the storm with you versus just getting rid of the storm immediately.
• 0:07
  And because I've always been such an anxious person, when I am discerning something, the way I know that God wants me to pick a certain path is when a situation that should make me so anxious, and instead of that feeling is just peace.
• 0:24
  I realize I don't want to be a salesperson, I don't want to be a businesswoman, I really just want to be a daughter of the father that loves to do the whole way and create art for him.
• 0:33
  I think that's the beautiful thing of having an intimate relationship with the Lord and to realize I actually really do trust him because never in a million years would I do this, but I feel confident enough in his love for me that I will step into this uncomfortable place.
• 1:20
  Oh Val, I'm so excited because every time I have I was just saying, every time I have a show, poor Valerie, you live in Houston, so I make you poor.
• 1:27
  I mean the setup is amazing.
• 1:31
  You always give copy my um we always laugh so much.
• 1:36
  We do laugh so much.
• 1:38
  It's so great.
• 1:39
  And I get an excuse to see you, which we're trying to make happen more, which I'm very proud.
• 1:43
  High five.
• 1:44
  Oh, we've got more this year than.
• 1:47
  Oh, I know.
• 1:48
  Look at us crushing.
• 1:49
  Because I've known you since you were I say 16, but I don't know if that's true.
• 1:54
  Yeah, I'd say high school.
• 1:55
  Okay, since we were a teen.
• 1:57
  I guess I could just say that.
• 1:58
  Yeah.
• 1:59
  And everybody's like, Pax, Val?
• 2:01
  Pax Valerie?
• 2:02
  People come up to me and they're like, Are you Pax?
• 2:04
  I'm like, hi, I'm Valerie.
• 2:05
  Nice to meet you.
• 2:08
  How did you come up with that?
• 2:09
  How'd you come up with PAX?
• 2:11
  I Valerie.
• 2:13
  Yeah, I pray for peace a lot in my life.
• 2:16
  I'm a naturally anxious person, and my home parish is Prince of Peace.
• 2:22
  So, like, peace has always been a very common theme in my relationship with the Lord.
• 2:27
  And so that makes sense.
• 2:29
  I I I just picture God saying, like, peace, Val like, calm down.
• 2:33
  Like, you're okay.
• 2:34
  Like, Pax.
• 2:35
  Pax.
• 2:36
  Chill.
• 2:36
  Chill.
• 2:37
  I love it.
• 2:38
  I could see you naming a kid Pax.
• 2:40
  Totally.
• 2:40
  Yeah.
• 2:41
  Yeah.
• 2:41
  That would be good.
• 2:42
  My name is Pax.
• 2:43
  Do they really?
• 2:44
  Like they really do.
• 2:45
  They're like, oh my gosh, your name is Pax.
• 2:47
  Just like Which is kind of cool.
• 2:48
  My daughter.
• 2:49
  I'm like, oh it's also the Latin word for peace.
• 2:54
  And my name is Valerie.
• 2:55
  My name is Valerie.
• 2:56
  The kid Pax.
• 2:57
  I love it.
• 2:58
  Yeah.
• 2:58
  So here you are.
• 2:59
  I mean, when you were a teen, I did not know you were so talented.
• 3:02
  I gotta be honest.
• 3:02
  I mean, well, wait.
• 3:04
  Okay, I was gonna say, are in in your artistry.
• 3:07
  In your in your yes.
• 3:09
  You weren't like the kid that was drawing in youth group and like doing the doodling and all this kind of stuff.
• 3:15
  So when you came on the Catholic scene as this artist, I was like, what?
• 3:20
  Yeah.
• 3:20
  I'm sorry.
• 3:21
  Valerie?
• 3:22
  Like, what are we talking about?
• 3:24
  Um, singing, sure.
• 3:25
  Yeah.
• 3:25
  Uh retreat ministry, yeah, of course.
• 3:28
  Yeah.
• 3:28
  But like draw what art?
• 3:30
  Yeah.
• 3:30
  I didn't see that coming, Val.
• 3:32
  Yeah, he neither.
• 3:33
  But I think like I've always been a pretty creative person.
• 3:36
  Like school projects, absolutely.
• 3:39
  I want to use my 64 count of crayons and use all my markers.
• 3:44
  But yeah, art didn't come into play until I was in my 20s, working in ministry, needing to find peace in my busy, busy job, you know, not being able to find that like work-life balance in working in ministry.
• 3:58
  And so, like, I do remember very clearly praying, like, Lord, help me to find rest, help me to like quiet my mind, leave work at work, and to just be.
• 4:08
  And it was literally a random summer day.
• 4:11
  I had this very big urge to paint, and I've never had that feeling in my life.
• 4:17
  And so I drove to Hobby Lobby, bought all of the supplies, all the canvases, paint, brush.
• 4:22
  I spent so much money at Hobby Lobby.
• 4:24
  Um, and I went home, searched up random YouTube videos.
• 4:29
  I've always like loved flowers and colors and some like houses.
• 4:33
  You are very floral in what you do and a lot.
• 4:36
  I love flowers, yeah.
• 4:37
  And so I was Googling how to paint a sunflower, how to paint a rose, how to paint this, and then oh, I also want to teach myself calligraphy.
• 4:46
  Okay, now how can I incorporate both?
• 4:47
  And that just kind of grew from there.
• 4:50
  My love, like I felt I fell in love with the act of creating art, not necessarily what I was creating because I was terrible at it.
• 4:59
  I mean, I had never painted in my entire life.
• 5:01
  I've never sketched, I've never drawn.
• 5:03
  Wow.
• 5:03
  But uh the piece I found in creating a piece of art.
• 5:07
  Like my brain really did just shush for a solid hour, two hours that I was creating, and that's what I fell in love with.
• 5:15
  So when did it become a career though?
• 5:20
  Because you took this floral situation and like and I remember, didn't you do like buy like you would I used to paint Bible covers for a while, right?
• 5:29
  It's like kind of before you started right, okay.
• 5:31
  So I didn't just make that up.
• 5:32
  Right.
• 5:33
  Okay, sometimes my memory's off.
• 5:35
  So okay, before painted, I had uh my Instagram account was called Grace Painted because Penned was taken, and so my name was Grace Painted.
• 5:45
  So people thought my name was Grace.
• 5:46
  Oh my gosh.
• 5:47
  Um, because that was my Instagram handle, and I used to paint Bible covers, and at first it was just like to create a beautiful cover, but then it really became this idea of creating a beautiful cover that inspires people to really open the word and read scripture.
• 6:05
  Um, so yeah, I was painting florals on Bibles, and then there was a point in my life where I really had to like process through some things going on, and I actually had a friend that was like, You're always creating art.
• 6:20
  Have you ever thought to just pray with art, draw your prayers, draw what you're feeling?
• 6:27
  Uh because I've never been one to um journal, write out my thoughts.
• 6:34
  Yeah.
• 6:35
  Like, yeah, I would bring journals to retreats and I would write one line and then I forget about it forever.
• 6:40
  This is not my gift.
• 6:42
  And so I brought a little journal to adoration and I started just kind of doodling the monstrance, but my brain was thinking about all these things I was feeling, and I was conversing with the Lord in that moment.
• 6:56
  And then, like, I would sense that God is responding to me, and I would try to draw that out.
• 7:02
  And so that's kind of how prayer and art became a bigger place in my life.
• 7:08
  Um, I started sharing some of that on Instagram, that blew up in itself, and then COVID started happening.
• 7:15
  So, meanwhile, through all of this, I'm working in youth ministry.
• 7:18
  I love my job in youth ministry, I loved working with teens, but COVID happened.
• 7:23
  Yeah.
• 7:24
  The youth ministry looked completely different.
• 7:27
  I was not a fan of online youth ministry.
• 7:30
  Um, but at the same time, my art was blowing up so much, and people were messaging me like, we want to buy this.
• 7:37
  Where can I get this?
• 7:39
  Do you have a shop?
• 7:39
  I'm like, I don't have a shop.
• 7:41
  I don't know how to get my stuff printed.
• 7:43
  I don't know anything about this.
• 7:45
  Um, and by like the end of 2020, I really felt like I was at a crossroads.
• 7:51
  Like, am I gonna continue down this line working in youth ministry, which I love so much, or am I going to kind of jump from this stable place and try to become a full-time artist?
• 8:03
  Um, because that was never a dream of mine.
• 8:06
  It was never my plans.
• 8:07
  Like I didn't start art until my 20s.
• 8:09
  And so I made like I just I prayed about it a lot.
• 8:14
  And because I've always been such an anxious person, when I am discerning something, the way I know that God wants me to pick a certain path is when like a situation that should make me so anxious, and like that would be crazy for me to do.
• 8:31
  Um, but instead of that feeling, there's just a peace.
• 8:35
  Um so I quit my stable youth ministry job to become a full-time artist.
• 8:42
  I had no idea what I was doing.
• 8:44
  I Googled, well, like, what's a good printer for artists?
• 8:48
  And like, okay, that's the first one.
• 8:50
  I'm just gonna go in and buy that.
• 8:51
  And um, God was also like showing his providence through all of it.
• 8:56
  I was kind of freaking out about taxes.
• 8:58
  I'm like, okay, great, I'm starting this new thing.
• 9:00
  What am I gonna do when tax even comes around?
• 9:02
  I don't know what I'm doing.
• 9:04
  Um, but then like a CPA company that was just starting up and working with Catholic small businesses reached out to me and was like, hey, we'd love to help you.
• 9:13
  And I'm like, perfect done.
• 9:15
  That's crazy.
• 9:16
  Like, what's that's incredible?
• 9:17
  That's God.
• 9:18
  Yeah, it's like perfectly that's amazing.
• 9:20
  Yeah, and like I I loved what I got to do.
• 9:22
  Like, I loved getting to create art full time, figure out how to start up a website, sell it online, and then I would travel a lot to conferences and sell stuff and meet your fans.
• 9:36
  Not fit.
• 9:37
  I mean who thought your name was Pax.
• 9:39
  Yeah, people that thought my name was Pax.
• 9:41
  And uh, but that was kind of like a season because you recently, I mean, to me it feels recently.
• 9:48
  Maybe it feels okay.
• 9:49
  Yeah, it still feels recent.
• 9:51
  It still yeah, you kind of shut down the the money side of it all, like the selling side of the art.
• 9:58
  I mean, you still create.
• 10:00
  So, what made you decide to close the door?
• 10:02
  Yeah, so again, it was like the best three years of my life, um, having my little Catholic shop and traveling and doing all the things.
• 10:12
  And when I first started, I'm like, this is the dream.
• 10:15
  Like, I never thought I would be in a place to work for myself, do what I love to do, and really feel like I have this call, this mission that God has brought me to.
• 10:26
  Um but as the years went by, um, my business was growing.
• 10:33
  I even got to a place of like getting to hire people to help me with certain aspects of it.
• 10:38
  Um, but I realized that I didn't love it anymore.
• 10:43
  I'm like, okay, I don't get to create as much art as I used to, at least not from a place of prayer and peace and rest.
• 10:52
  You know, I was creating things because there's a feast day coming up, there's a this coming up.
• 10:59
  There was just a lot um that didn't feel authentic anymore.
• 11:04
  And um, I got to be a vendor at one of the focus seat conferences a few years ago, and I really felt like I made it big at that point.
• 11:13
  Oh, yeah.
• 11:14
  Like I have this big booth, there's like 20,000 people here fighting people all day, every day that entire week.
• 11:20
  And it was the best time, but by the end of it, I'm like, I don't think I ever want to do this again.
• 11:27
  And so that kind of led into me having a bit of an identity crisis of like, okay, if this isn't what I'm meant to do, then what am I supposed to do?
• 11:38
  I from youth ministry to full-time art, where's that middle ground?
• 11:43
  Like, I don't know what to do with my life anymore, and I'm almost 30 at that point.
• 11:47
  And so um, for Lent that year, I decided to give up social media, which I had never considered, you know, with my small business.
• 11:55
  I'm like, if I stop posting online, which gave me my start, like no one's gonna know I exist.
• 12:02
  I'm going to lose customers, I won't have money for food.
• 12:05
  Like, I am I work for myself.
• 12:08
  And so, um, but again, there was that like sense of peace of like you need to let this go right now.
• 12:14
  And so gave up social media for Lent, survived 40 days.
• 12:18
  I'm like, okay, this is the most amount of peace I've ever felt in a very long time.
• 12:23
  And yeah, at that point, I was I was ready to close down the shop.
• 12:29
  I realized I don't want to be a salesperson, I don't want to be a businesswoman.
• 12:32
  I really just want to be a daughter of the father that loves to doodle and create art for him.
• 12:39
  And yeah.
• 12:41
  And that's what you're doing.
• 12:42
  That's what I'm doing.
• 12:43
  I do have a job.
• 12:44
  So you went back to having a big goal job.
• 12:46
  Right.
• 12:46
  I have a stable job to love.
• 12:49
  Like again, the Lord provides because during all of that, someone at my parish was like, We really need help with like the graphic design aspects of our communications.
• 12:59
  Like, would you ever consider coming back, even if it's part-time?
• 13:02
  I'm like, absolutely, make it full-time, give me health insurance.
• 13:05
  I'm happy to care about my parish again.
• 13:08
  I'm happy to get to be creative in my job and work within a team and have stability while also still creating art.
• 13:17
  When you went to what do you do with the art that you create now if you're not selling it?
• 13:21
  I literally post it and people bug me about if they can buy it or not.
• 13:27
  And so I will I do have a little Etsy shop.
• 13:30
  It's all digital downloads, like I don't have to.
• 13:32
  So they can do it themselves.
• 13:34
  Um, and then it also opens me up to be an illustrator.
• 13:39
  Like I've illustrated a lot of books and get to work with a lot of different publishers.
• 13:43
  And so I love getting to work from a place of collaboration and with other people.
• 13:48
  I think that was the other part I was missing.
• 13:50
  Even as an introvert, I missed um just working with people day to day.
• 13:55
  I had a lot of alone time for three series when I was working for myself.
• 14:00
  And so um, it's nice to be with people.
• 14:03
  Well, introverts don't hate people.
• 14:04
  That's a misconception.
• 14:06
  I just want to be a don't make me talk.
• 14:08
  Yeah, I'm happy to be around you.
• 14:10
  Yeah, yeah.
• 14:11
  And I just need to recharge over here by myself, but you do love humans, and I think that's hard for people to understand.
• 14:18
  Okay, so you are still creating art, you do have it digitally.
• 14:21
  Are you still illustrating books?
• 14:22
  Is that something how many have you done?
• 14:24
  Do you know?
• 14:26
  Uh maybe close to 10.
• 14:29
  I haven't actually counted all of them, but my first book was 2020.
• 14:34
  Like, again, like God just so quickly doors.
• 14:37
  My art was blowing up, and there was a follower who was about to write a children's book, and she's like, We would love for you to be the illustrator.
• 14:45
  That was my first ever book.
• 14:46
  They're sending me contracts.
• 14:48
  I'm like, I don't know what I'm looking for, I'm just gonna sign it.
• 14:51
  So it says whatever.
• 14:53
  Um, it worked out, it was great, and that led to another book, to another book, to another book.
• 14:57
  And there you go.
• 14:58
  Um, and it's funny, I've only done two children's books out of all the books I've got.
• 15:02
  Really?
• 15:03
  The rest have been um more like reflective journal type books, which I love.
• 15:08
  So I don't know.
• 15:09
  We'll see if there's more children's books in the future.
• 15:12
  Would you ever write yourself?
• 15:14
  I don't I've always told myself no, but I think that's silly.
• 15:18
  I feel like God is like wired than that.
• 15:21
  I'm like, you you can do anything.
• 15:22
  But again, like I've never I've never thought of myself as a writer.
• 15:26
  I've never been able to journal or like think clearly with words.
• 15:32
  Um but maybe.
• 15:34
  So what is the scariest part about listening to God?
• 15:38
  I think obviously like being asked to do things that are uncomfortable, you know, being put into situations where you would normally never put yourself in.
• 15:53
  Um but I think that's the beautiful thing of like having an intimate relationship with the Lord and to realize like, oh, I actually really do trust him because never in a million years would I do this, but I feel confident enough in his love for me that I will step into this uncomfortable place.
• 16:17
  Yeah.
• 16:18
  And even in the middle of the like anxiety storm, um, he's got me.
• 16:24
  And even if I feel like I'm falling apart and can't handle something, I know that he's there to be with me.
• 16:32
  Um, I think we love to think of God as like, yes, the Lord is our savior, right?
• 16:37
  Like he saved us from our sins, but that also doesn't mean that there's not gonna be hard situations in your life.
• 16:44
  Like there's times where he will literally just be with you, he will weather the storm with you versus just getting rid of the storm immediately.
• 16:52
  Correct.
• 16:52
  And it's like that's how you build this beautiful like trust and intimacy with him.
• 16:57
  No, I love that.
• 16:58
  No, for sure.
• 16:59
  Instead of just getting rid of the storm.
• 17:01
  Speaking of storms and times that are dark and times that are beautiful.
• 17:06
  You've worked in ministry a long time.
• 17:09
  And let's be honest, ministry is not always rainbows.
• 17:14
  Not everybody in ministry should be there.
• 17:17
  Not everybody in ministry is there for the right reasons, not everybody in ministry has the right intentions, not everybody is is in the right spot.
• 17:25
  Like they might be talented, but maybe not for that place, you know what I mean?
• 17:29
  Like, like you're like, God, Bob should really be, and there is no real Bob.
• 17:33
  I'm just making up generic name Bob.
• 17:36
  Uh just generic name Bob.
• 17:38
  Um, you know, Bob is really great at licking stamps, and he shouldn't be the one that is talking to people at the front desk.
• 17:45
  You know what I mean?
• 17:46
  Like there's a lot of that.
• 17:48
  How have you navigated?
• 17:50
  Because you've had a pretty long career in ministry in Catholic ministry.
• 17:54
  Actually, how long have you had?
• 17:56
  I mean, I mean, we can we can count the gap years, you can throw them in there.
• 18:00
  Served as a teen, right?
• 18:01
  Yeah, you start being like 2009, 2010 and just like continued survey.
• 18:06
  Until now early 20s.
• 18:07
  And now, yeah, it looks different now.
• 18:09
  I'm not necessarily working with the youths, but getting into like women's ministry, like yeah, ministry's just always kind of been.
• 18:16
  But you're still doing, I mean, I th I my opinion is if you're working at the church, even if your guy licking the stamps, that's a ministry.
• 18:24
  You know what I mean?
• 18:25
  Like it's not, it doesn't have to be, you know, oh, I put on a retreat.
• 18:29
  Yeah, but how how has your relationship with God evolved specifically from that lens of working in ministry as a teen to now a grown adult?
• 18:41
  Well, and I think like I work at a parish, so like the parish life is also very different than like being whether you're a teen volunteering in ministry or you're a young adult volunteer to then like okay, you're paid by the church and you're still serving in ministry, and what does that look like?
• 19:01
  Um, obviously recognizing the church is broken, like we're human.
• 19:06
  I think we expect the church to be this like top of the line, like high-level, holy, secure place, and that everyone you encounter is going to be the best Christian in the entire world.
• 19:22
  And that's just not true.
• 19:24
  It's really like a hospital full of really broken people, yeah.
• 19:27
  Um, people that work in ministry, that volunteer, that are paid staff.
• 19:32
  Um so to recognize their humanity as like child of God, um, learning how to enter those spaces with that in mind of like, okay, you're being a little sassy or you're held fire right now, and it's really not that big of a deal.
• 19:54
  As the kids say, it's not that deep.
• 19:56
  Yeah, it's not that deep, really.
• 19:57
  It's not that deep.
• 19:59
  Calm down.
• 20:00
  Um my god, it sounds so old, as the kids say.
• 20:05
  Oh my god.
• 20:06
  I say now I'm 98.
• 20:08
  Yeah, no, same.
• 20:10
  Same.
• 20:10
  Yeah, but it's not that deep.
• 20:12
  It's not that deep.
• 20:13
  And I think like if I can remember that, I don't necessarily need to like make them remember that because you can't make anyone think anything, but you just kind of don't carry it with you.
• 20:23
  You're like, okay.
• 20:25
  Was there ever a time that something happened in Ministry that you're like, I'm done.
• 20:29
  God, I don't care if you called me to this, but this is a no.
• 20:34
  And you know what would be like a time that without giving any names or any specific situations, but for me, like I think COVID really did like break down a lot of things, and people were feeling a lot of things during that time, and ministry looked very different, and it was just kind of like, why are we all here?
• 20:57
  Like, I we're not allowed to go to church anymore, we're not allowed to do this, we can't touch, we can't shake hands, we can't um it was a horrible time grieve near each other.
• 21:07
  And yeah, I think it was just kind of like I I think a lot of people ended up quitting their jobs or just yeah reflecting on like where their life was during that time because the first time that everything really did stop.
• 21:19
  Um so yeah, I'd say that was like one of the big times because personalities come out when you know things are very uncertain and people are making decisions that you might not agree with, and it's just it's life.
• 21:33
  Did you take a break for a little bit?
• 21:35
  I mean, or I mean, I guess you didn't really go back to youth ministry.
• 21:38
  I didn't go, yeah.
• 21:38
  When I left, actually.
• 21:41
  I'm like, I think yeah, I think I'm done.
• 21:44
  Yeah.
• 21:45
  Um I can't even really point to why, other than like I've lived this and I've loved it for so long, and I think it's just time to move on.
• 21:55
  To move on.
• 21:56
  Yeah, that's fair.
• 21:58
  So another thing that you and I have talked about.
• 22:00
  Is you know, you're this lovely single woman who's Catholic.
• 22:05
  So everybody out there has a good looking young man who's good Catholic, you call me, let me know, and I'll gatekeep.
• 22:14
  I'll gatekeep for I got you.
• 22:15
  I'm your I'm your wingwoman.
• 22:17
  Um, but what are some misconceptions about being Catholic and single and a woman?
• 22:24
  You know, like what are we me as a married woman, what am I getting wrong?
• 22:27
  What am I misunderstanding about that whole situation?
• 22:31
  Yeah, I I think like there's just a lot of pressure um for any young person, woman or male, like to find your vocation and that like you won't be truly fulfilled, truly joyful, truly happy unless you know what your vocation with a capital V is, um, whether it's marriage or religious life.
• 22:55
  Um but then to realize like, no, I I can have a very deep intimate relationship with the Lord right now.
• 23:01
  And like He is the source of my joy right now and for always, regardless of what my vocation comes out to be.
• 23:09
  Um And yeah, there's just this again, this pressure.
• 23:13
  People always ask the I've been asked this this question at least once a month, like, so where are you vocationally?
• 23:18
  Like, what are you discerning?
• 23:20
  What are you?
• 23:21
  I'm like I'm just here.
• 23:24
  I'm here living my life, loving my life, loving the Lord.
• 23:28
  And um yeah, I think like people want what's best for you, but I think what's best for me is to know God and to love him and to show that.
• 23:42
  Um so yeah.
• 23:43
  And that you're an adult and you're handling it.
• 23:46
  Like, you know what I mean?
• 23:47
  I don't know why we feel like we have to get so involved.
• 23:50
  I mean, I know you have a lot of we have a lot of the same friends, yeah, and a lot of them are married with kids, but as soon as they get married, the first question is, oh, so when are you guys having kids?
• 23:59
  And then you have your first kids like when you're having another one, right?
• 24:01
  Or you're dating when are you guys getting married?
• 24:03
  Like, why do you have so many kids?
• 24:05
  Right.
• 24:06
  Just stay out of people's business.
• 24:08
  What are we doing on like can you just be this beautiful single person living your life for the Lord and not is it anybody's business if you become a sister if you're discerning it, if you become married, if you're discerning it?
• 24:24
  When it's not what's the norm or what everyone else is doing, it's like, oh, something must be wrong.
• 24:31
  Yeah, like or yes, like God has a completely different plan and path for my life.
• 24:36
  Like, are we really trusting the Lord or are we not?
• 24:38
  Yeah, is it just words or so?
• 24:41
  Yeah, yeah, that comes to mind a lot.
• 24:43
  It's like you're you tell you're telling me to trust God's timing, but I feel like you're not trusting God's timing right.
• 24:49
  Like, I'm I'm good.
• 24:51
  I'm actually really okay.
• 24:53
  Like I have a very happy, fulfilling life.
• 24:57
  So don't worry.
• 24:58
  Yeah, yeah, but still, if there's anybody cute, I'm just kidding.
• 25:03
  That's the Italian mom in me coming out.
• 25:05
  No, I'm just teasing.
• 25:06
  Val knows I'm teasing.
• 25:07
  Um, so okay, Val, now that you are in your 30s, right?
• 25:13
  And you're more established with God, you you've worked on mental health as well, like your spiritual health, getting healthy physically, spiritually, emotionally.
• 25:26
  What does that look like today?
• 25:28
  Like, where have you come from and where where are you now?
• 25:32
  Because those are all really important, knowing you as a person and seeing your growth, which is so cool to see since you were a teen.
• 25:38
  Yeah.
• 25:39
  I think like I like reflecting back, you know, there's things that you look back on in your childhood and your, you know, teens, you're like, oh, like I was feeling a lot of feelings in that time of my life, and I didn't even realize it until now.
• 25:56
  And so, like, again, growing up, I've always been a pretty anxious person, very introverted, very like afraid of um being too little, being too much, like just that pressure of like, okay, am I am I enough?
• 26:11
  And so learning like who I am as a person, as a sister, as a daughter, um, but especially like as a child of God.
• 26:23
  Like, do I see God as father?
• 26:27
  Like I want to, but do I feel it in my heart?
• 26:30
  And so I think working on that relationship in my 20s in this season where like my friends are getting married, or like I didn't go to college, and so I had friends that were graduating from their dream colleges, starting their dream careers, they're doing all of these wonderful things.
• 26:46
  And I I think I struggled a lot with that in my 20s of just like okay.
• 26:51
  How did that make you feel?
• 26:52
  Not going to college.
• 26:53
  Did you have I think I just felt like, am I missing something?
• 26:57
  Like, am I not smart enough?
• 27:01
  Was I not I don't know, like, was I not put on the right path?
• 27:07
  Like, I don't really know what path I'm supposed to be walking.
• 27:09
  I've always had a very like go with the flow type B personality.
• 27:13
  And I'm like, did I need to like find someone more type A to like tell me where to go?
• 27:18
  Because I I feel like I miss the bus here.
• 27:21
  Um and so yeah, I felt like a left out and just very unsure of myself.
• 27:28
  Um but that just made me like lean closer into my relationship with God because that was the one thing I knew, and that was the one thing I felt like I had control over, was like, okay, I don't know what I'm doing with my life, but I do know that or I hear that God loves me and that he cares for me.
• 27:47
  So maybe I should get to know him and see what that looks like.
• 27:51
  Um, and so yeah, so just to be able to grow in a relationship with him and to truly trust where he's leading me, even if it's a completely different path than all of my friends and married friends and you know the families that they're starting, um, to now like be in a place of uh complete surrender.
• 28:11
  Um and yeah, like you mentioned my health stuff.
• 28:15
  Like there was a time where I I knew I should probably go to therapy, but I'm like, I don't know what that looks like.
• 28:22
  I don't think I'm gonna go.
• 28:24
  Um, and so I just kind of dealt with my feelings my own way and had a like a terrible relationship with food, terrible relationship with like just diet culture in general.
• 28:36
  I'm like, okay, I feel like my life has no path.
• 28:40
  I'm just going to try to be healthier, um, because why not?
• 28:47
  And I would try a bunch of different diets, a bunch of different things, um, all for the wrong reasons.
• 28:52
  And then fast forward to my later 20s when like I just went to do a standard physical, and the doctor was like, Okay, you I know you have a bad relationship with food, but if you don't change something, like you could have a heart attack in your 30s.
• 29:09
  And that was like super eye-opening for me.
• 29:12
  Um, because I was like, Yeah, that's a lot.
• 29:14
  Yeah, like I it was a month before I was gonna turn 30.
• 29:18
  I'm like, okay, I don't want to die.
• 29:22
  Um, I like to do that.
• 29:23
  I don't want to do that, I don't want a heart attack.
• 29:25
  And like I I love him and I love like this life that he's gifted me with, and so I think it's definitely time to do something about that.
• 29:34
  And so again, like that trust in him.
• 29:37
  So, what did you do?
• 29:38
  What are some tangible things that you did for your emotional, mental, physical, spiritual?
• 29:44
  Yeah, I think like finally realizing that like discipline was not a bad thing, like having like self-control and discipline with myself was actually helping me.
• 29:56
  And I think because I was focusing on that in my health life, it naturally like poured into my prayer life and my spiritual life, just all of it.
• 30:05
  And so I had to sacrifice a lot to go back to then go back to the doctor three months later to check my blood work to make sure everything was good, and it was, but I it was hard, like I cried a lot.
• 30:18
  I'm like, God, I don't know how to not eat bread.
• 30:22
  Like, I don't know how to like I don't know how to to live healthier and still like find joy and find like comfort.
• 30:31
  Yeah.
• 30:32
  Um because I did rely so much on on food for that.
• 30:36
  And so to just kind of leave that at the foot of the cross and be like, okay, Lord, I don't know what you'll mean to do with this, and to trust him through like every single moment of every single day.
• 30:48
  Um yeah, I lean on him a lot, and so naturally like my prayer life just kind of took over.
• 30:56
  Yeah.
• 30:56
  And so, and now like it's been almost two years of that, and it's been like so much easier.
• 31:04
  Like I've I'm in a healthier place, but also not in a like weight obsessed right, not going too far the other side.
• 31:17
  And also like love my body as it is, and like love who I am and who like God has made me to be.
• 31:24
  And yeah, I have to say that's a good place to be.
• 31:28
  No, that is a that's like the goal.
• 31:30
  Yeah, I mean, really and truly that is the goal.
• 31:32
  What are um so like are you a person who has always and I don't know, I'm asking this question, and I literally have no idea what your answer is gonna be, but have you always done spiritual direction or some form of it?
• 31:46
  Or have you never done that?
• 31:48
  Because I'm always interested in knowing, you know, like what key professionals are you empowering to be a part of your life and your journey.
• 32:00
  So, you know, like do you have a therapist, do you have a spiritual director, do you have a trainer?
• 32:05
  You know, like do you have anybody specific in those places, or is it just you?
• 32:11
  I um for a long time it was just me.
• 32:14
  And then finally I'm like, okay, I I want a spiritual director, especially when I was quitting my youth ministry job and starting this whole art thing.
• 32:23
  I thought, like, am I actually following what God wants me?
• 32:28
  Like maybe I should talk to someone about this.
• 32:31
  Uh and so I I had a priest friend be my my spiritual director for a bit.
• 32:37
  Um, but it's gone through seasons, like because obviously their lives are changing as well, they're moving, all these things.
• 32:43
  Um and so I've had spiritual directors through different seasons of my life.
• 32:48
  Um and then a therapist is still like one of those things that I just find really hard to find currently because it takes a lot for me to open up about a tire life to someone that I don't know.
• 33:03
  And so when one isn't a fit, it's like, okay, now I have to go through all of that.
• 33:07
  It's like dating again.
• 33:08
  It's like dating.
• 33:09
  Oh my god.
• 33:10
  It's like dating.
• 33:11
  I don't have time for this.
• 33:12
  Yeah, it's a lot.
• 33:13
  And when you find really good ones, you wanna like I do have a great therapist, so I have to get the contact for me.
• 33:20
  I've sent her to many people, and I will never know.
• 33:23
  But yeah, no, it's true because it's hard.
• 33:31
  I just haven't found that right.
• 33:33
  The right fit.
• 33:34
  Yeah, no, that's fair.
• 33:36
  Um so okay, you're in your 30s, you now are back into, you know, you're an illustrator, you are an artist, you have a job at the church, you have a dog, you have a house, you have, you travel, like you have this incredible life.
• 33:56
  What is, and I want to hear something positive, not what's missing, Val?
• 34:01
  Like, I think that that's the normal, and I get it, I get it.
• 34:05
  People want to ask, like, and so what you know, what are you missing?
• 34:08
  I don't mean it in that way.
• 34:09
  I mean, and so what's next?
• 34:11
  What is the next thing that you are reaching for or you're wanting, what is on your dream board?
• 34:18
  You know what I mean?
• 34:18
  Like, is there anything that's kind of out there that you're just kind of kind of thinking about?
• 34:23
  Whether it's a trip, whether it's uh, you know, new venture, whether it's I don't know.
• 34:28
  That's a good question.
• 34:29
  I because I've never been a planner, like if someone were to ask me, like, what are you gonna be doing in three years?
• 34:36
  I'm like, I have no idea.
• 34:37
  Like, ask the Lord, like only He knows.
• 34:40
  Um, but yeah, something that's been really on my heart.
• 34:44
  Uh so I I'm Puerto Rican.
• 34:47
  I love being from Puerto Rico, it's a huge part of my life, and I think growing up in Texas as a Puerto Rican has been just different.
• 34:56
  It's like you is that positive or not, it's neither, it's very neutral.
• 35:00
  It's just I haven't been able to find people that like understand specifically Puerto Rican culture.
• 35:07
  Really just be joyful in it together.
• 35:12
  Okay.
• 35:13
  Um, Hispanic culture, yes, which is great.
• 35:15
  Yes, but then there's but specifically Puerto Rican, where would that be in the US?
• 35:20
  Where is it like a specific like this is where New York and Florida?
• 35:24
  Oh, like Miami.
• 35:26
  Sure.
• 35:26
  Okay.
• 35:26
  Yeah, New York to like that's where I have the methods family.
• 35:31
  Yeah, like when they leave the island, most likely they'll be that's where they're going.
• 35:35
  That's where they're going.
• 35:36
  So not a lot of Houstonians are also that's interesting.
• 35:39
  I've had you know, Bad Bunny was he does the super poor.
• 35:43
  Ever since then, I've had so many different friends that's like we should go to Puerto Rico, we should go to Puerto Rico.
• 35:47
  So I'm like, okay, I think I need to plan like a group trip to Puerto Rico to like show people the is it a pilgrimage or other people open or or is it just your friends?
• 35:58
  Can I go?
• 36:00
  I will go to I've never been to Puerto Rico.
• 36:02
  Yeah, I would love to go.
• 36:03
  Like we would do like some of the touristy stuff, but then we'll also like the realest stuff other parts of the islands and um islands, island.
• 36:13
  Um, yeah, to just like show people this place that like I have so many beautiful memories of and like my family's from.
• 36:20
  And so that's something I'm really looking forward to because it's just not something I again I'm not a planner, and now I'm like, I'm gonna plan a group trip with a bunch of people and figure out logistics and all that fun stuff.
• 36:32
  Yeah, and what's going down.
• 36:34
  Yeah, just like you think you'll do it this year, you think you'll do it next year, or do you have a goal?
• 36:38
  Not super, but sometime in 2027.
• 36:41
  Maybe like a year from now, kind of a thing in the spring.
• 36:44
  Yeah, in the spring.
• 36:45
  That would be cool.
• 36:45
  Good for you.
• 36:46
  Good for you.
• 36:48
  Yeah, thanks.
• 36:49
  Let's avoid that whole summer.
• 36:52
  Um, but yeah, I think nobody wants that.
• 36:54
  No, nobody wants that.
• 36:55
  Do you have dual citizenship?
• 36:57
  So Puerto Ricans are U.S.
• 36:59
  citizens.
• 36:59
  Like, see, thank you.
• 37:01
  And so that segues us into Bad Bunny.
• 37:06
  Yeah, yeah.
• 37:07
  Trying to educate people while we're yeah, I'm like, come on.
• 37:11
  Yeah, I can we talk about it?
• 37:13
  It was I didn't know that.
• 37:16
  I didn't know you were born in Puerto Rico.
• 37:19
  Oh, wow.
• 37:20
  I've always been a US citizen from the day I was born.
• 37:24
  So are my parents, so is Bad Bunny.
• 37:26
  Um Puerto Rico is part of the US, it's a common territory, which is just like a weird, like they anyone who's in a US territory, I believe, but for sure for Puerto Rico, is a US citizen and they can live wherever.
• 37:40
  So, how did you feel about all the controversy with Bad Bunny?
• 37:43
  I thought it was silly.
• 37:46
  Um it made me a little frustrated.
• 37:49
  I think people were saying, Oh, but the lyrics of his songs are so inappropriate.
• 37:55
  And I'm like, okay, where was this fire last time?
• 37:59
  Anytime.
• 38:00
  Like and like anytime.
• 38:02
  The Super Bowl isn't this like Christian event.
• 38:07
  Like it is very to begin with.
• 38:10
  Yeah.
• 38:10
  Um, but yeah, it just felt very like, oh, he's only gonna be singing in Spanish.
• 38:17
  Get off the stage.
• 38:18
  Um it it broke my heart and it it yeah, did I had to stay offline for a I didn't want to see what people were saying about it.
• 38:28
  What about people in your actual, you know, like in your real life, not just people online, but did it affect you with people?
• 38:35
  Did kind of like how COVID brought out things that we didn't know about people, whether they were in real life or not.
• 38:41
  Did that happen in real life with the Bad Bunny Super Bowl thing that you had to say?
• 38:45
  Like my my friends at least, like they they all either love him or they know that I love him and they're just gonna like They didn't care.
• 38:52
  Yeah, it's fine.
• 38:53
  Um, yeah, luckily I didn't have to experience that a lot in my like day-to-day life.
• 38:58
  Um, just a lot of stuff online.
• 39:00
  Like, I don't I wanna, yeah, it was everybody it was insane.
• 39:04
  Yes.
• 39:05
  What did you think of the performance?
• 39:06
  I thought it was so b I cried.
• 39:09
  Like, there was one specific part where they were on the power lines, and like I when Hurricane Maria hit Puerto Rico, like my grandparents, we couldn't reach them for weeks and weeks and weeks, and it wasn't until like a neighbor called my mom.
• 39:24
  She had like a list of her neighbors that she was trying to get in contact with to say, like, your family's okay, like your grandma is walking to the church every day to bring like get the Eucharist to pass out to people, like my grandma's a saint.
• 39:41
  But it was scary not being able to get in contact with them many, many weeks.
• 39:46
  So during his performance when like they were showing that piece um with the power lines, like I just I remember the fear in that, and it's just like a very real struggle that that they have.
• 39:57
  Like all of the energy companies are corrupt, their businesses, and yeah, there are people that can go months without power, which is terrible.
• 40:08
  So that it's disgusting.
• 40:10
  It made me emotional, it was really beautiful.
• 40:12
  I was texting my mom back and forth about it.
• 40:14
  She absolutely loved it.
• 40:16
  Um, yeah.
• 40:17
  Have you seen him in real life perform?
• 40:19
  I haven't.
• 40:20
  Is that a dream?
• 40:21
  No, my I think it's more of my sister's dream.
• 40:23
  I'm not a concert.
• 40:26
  I'm not a nighttime person.
• 40:27
  Well, you're you're an introvert, yeah.
• 40:29
  A nighttime person.
• 40:30
  Not a nighttime person.
• 40:32
  You're like, if he gets a noon concert, I'm in.
• 40:35
  2 p.m.
• 40:35
  Great.
• 40:36
  Can I say something?
• 40:36
  You're gonna love your 40s.
• 40:38
  You're gonna love 40s and beyond.
• 40:41
  You are we've always said that we're the opposite age of each other because we really are.
• 40:47
  I uh I'm much more like you, and you're more my age, so that's hilarious.
• 40:52
  Well, we can switch on that like a freaky Friday.
• 40:55
  But okay, so your sister wants to go.
• 40:57
  And I'll give you, I'll give her your contact so you can go.
• 41:01
  Yes, I'll wear your glasses because she won't recognize.
• 41:03
  She'll think it's you because we look so much alike.
• 41:06
  Yes.
• 41:07
  Yes.
• 41:08
  Oh, Val, I love it.
• 41:10
  But I feel like, I mean, you know, I could see you, I can still see you going and having a good time for sure.
• 41:15
  It would be fun.
• 41:16
  No, I think that that was such a good, you know.
• 41:19
  I hope, I don't know.
• 41:21
  What do you think now that we're past the Super Bowl?
• 41:23
  We're months past, we now have all sorts of other problems that we're having on the planet.
• 41:28
  You know, we have uh all these wars, we have uh crazy uh uh leaders, we'll just leave it at that.
• 41:36
  Um, we have real problems, you know what I mean?
• 41:41
  Like actual real issues.
• 41:44
  How do you think the bad bunny thing is gonna end up being when we look back at it?
• 41:49
  I mean because I don't know, I feel like our world there's always like something else going on, so things get forgotten.
• 41:59
  Um, I wouldn't be surprised if like down the line people completely forget that it was even a thing.
• 42:04
  That it was a thing, or that people had really strong feelings about it.
• 42:06
  Like, I feel like a year from now, whoever they pick for the Super Bowl halftime, like I don't think they're gonna really think about those big feelings with Bad Bunny from before.
• 42:17
  Do you think it changed anything for people's perception or perspective of Puerto Rico in a positive or a negative light?
• 42:24
  I hope so.
• 42:25
  Overall, I hope so.
• 42:26
  I did like see comments of people like, I don't really get it.
• 42:29
  And I was like, Yeah, yeah, you wouldn't.
• 42:31
  Like, and then that's okay.
• 42:33
  Yeah, it's okay for you to not understand it.
• 42:36
  Yeah, it's still a reality.
• 42:38
  Like he did show like a lot of really beautiful pieces of like Puerto Rican island culture, but then there are also pieces in there from like Puerto Rican New York culture, like oh cool, because it's just there are people that were born and raised in New York, but they were born from like Puerto Rican parents, so like that culture is just like strong, but it is a little bit different than island culture.
• 42:58
  Um, it's okay to not get it.
• 43:00
  That only because you don't understand something doesn't mean it's bad.
• 43:04
  Right.
• 43:05
  And that's okay.
• 43:06
  So I I think for some people it was like really eye-opening, and for other people it's like, oh, I just don't get it.
• 43:12
  I think I I'm gonna go on the record.
• 43:13
  I think it I think it shed a positive light.
• 43:16
  I think people learned that Puerto Rico is part is part of the US.
• 43:20
  Part of the US.
• 43:20
  Yeah.
• 43:21
  I think it educated, and I think you know, you it it helps to understand.
• 43:27
  I mean, being an American is so unique because we have all these beautiful cultures coming together.
• 43:31
  Yeah, I don't know, it helped me love the Puerto Rican culture even more.
• 43:35
  Like I want to go get some Puerto Rican food, so you gotta tell me where to go in Houston.
• 43:40
  Yep.
• 43:41
  So anytime you let me know.
• 43:43
  But um, okay, so let me let me ask you this to because it's just interesting to have someone talking.
• 43:50
  I mean, I'm glad that we got into this whole I didn't see us talking about Puerto Rico so much, but I love it.
• 43:56
  I'm loving this.
• 43:57
  Let me ask you, how does your Catholic faith like where does that come into play with being Puerto Rican?
• 44:03
  What is it like in Puerto Rico as a Catholic?
• 44:05
  Is it strong?
• 44:06
  Is it weak?
• 44:06
  Was it used to be strong?
• 44:08
  Like even most Hispanics, not just Puerto Rican, like being Catholic is so part of the culture.
• 44:13
  Okay.
• 44:14
  Um, which is a beautiful thing, but then you do miss out on that intimate relationship with Jesus.
• 44:19
  And so that's where like the work comes in.
• 44:21
  It's like, okay, this we don't just pray this because our abuelas have been praying this for us forever.
• 44:26
  Like, there is a reason we believe what we believe.
• 44:30
  Um, so yeah, they have beautiful churches um in Puerto Rico.
• 44:35
  Uh, but yeah, I will say, like, especially for the young church, it is just it's part of the culture versus like being intimate relationship their um situation.
• 44:45
  Okay.
• 44:45
  I was curious about that.
• 44:46
  And we're seeing such a neat surge in the Catholic Church.
• 44:51
  You know, this past Easter of this year, we had more people come in to the church than a long time.
• 44:55
  And I was just wondering if like if Puerto Rico saw the same.
• 44:58
  I don't know.
• 44:59
  I haven't heard about I'm not sure either.
• 45:01
  I've heard about France and US cities specifically, but I I was just curious about that.
• 45:07
  Okay, so at the end of every uh little hangout in the living room, I always ask my guests, how can we pray for you?
• 45:15
  What is something we can do?
• 45:17
  People who are listening right now, whenever they're listening, it could be seven years from now.
• 45:20
  Who cares, right?
• 45:21
  Prayer has no time.
• 45:23
  So, how can we pray for you?
• 45:24
  What is something that you need, friend?
• 45:26
  Um, pray for just my time management.
• 45:33
  Again, like I'm very type B, but there's just a lot of really beautiful, wonderful things happening in my life right now, and I do feel a little bit stretched.
• 45:43
  I'm like, okay, God.
• 45:45
  Like you're you're you know, asking a lot of things from me, and I and I want to do it all.
• 45:50
  Um, but my best friend and I laugh about this all the time.
• 45:55
  She's the type of person that can't rest until she gets all the things done, and I'm the type of person that can't do the things unless I rest first.
• 46:03
  And so I definitely find myself trying to rest when I should be just like checking things off the list.
• 46:10
  Um, yeah, just like crave for my very type B brain to um be able to do the things that I'm being asked to do and to like find that place of rest as well.
• 46:22
  Okay.
• 46:23
  We can do that, we can do that, and I'll share my therapist with you.
• 46:26
  Please do that.
• 46:27
  That would be great.
• 46:28
  That would be she's amazing.
• 46:30
  Anyone in Houston that needs a therapist, I have sent many a person there and I've had yet to have anyone say that was a mistake.
• 46:36
  They're all like, thank you.
• 46:38
  So perfect, friend.
• 46:40
  I love you so much.
• 46:41
  Thank you so much for being here in the living room in life.
• 46:44
  Beautiful.
• 46:45
  It's just the best to have a real movie.
• 46:49
  I love you.
• 46:49
  Thank you so much.
• 46:50
  All right, mm.