Latest / Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast / R.I.P TO THE WILD WILD WEB

Transcript

R.I.P TO THE WILD WILD WEB · Jono, Ben & Megan - The Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Today on the Wild World Web. It's our final episode.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: I know, mixed emotions, but strap yourselves in for a
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: comedic affair.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: Welcome to the unchanged realm of the World's Wide Web,
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: a swirling vortex of weirdness, bullying, and self obsessed social.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Media posts in this digital jungle.
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: Jentleman being a your fearless guys leading you through the
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: wildest parts of the wild wild Web.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: This is the wild Wild Web yonder Yes, hello and
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: welcome to the wild Wild webs mentioned the grand finale,
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: this is general the funeral aquologies. Megan Papas couldn't be
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: here with today. She couldn't face it.
• 0:48
  Speaker 4: She's an emotional time for everyone.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: Face coming in from the last five episode the World World.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: We have frustrations from her the fact that it's not
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: continuing on.
• 0:56
  Speaker 4: I get it.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: She'll come to two with that all we all will.
• 1:01
  Speaker 4: It is at the moment, I felt I was very
• 1:03
  Speaker 4: in shock about it.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: To be honest, I haven't really haven't really given it
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: time to process.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: So you're me going to be hopefully back on deck,
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: well not on this show obviously, but on the Normal
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: broadcast on Monday.
• 1:14
  Speaker 4: And the Normal podcast as well.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: For it's either that or she's got a sick child.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: It was one of the two options.
• 1:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm not sure.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: I picked against the world world weirdoes. But yeah, the
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: final episode and been I thought we should go out
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: on a high, but a lighter note. Okay, so I've
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: found some comedy material from the Internet, because let's that's
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: on the basis of the show. It's quite fine stuff
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: from the wildest parts of the internet. These are all
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: jokes that I've never heard before, never And you know,
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: We've googled a lot of jokes over our time, and
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: i'd like to get your feedback on all of them.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: I think they're very clever.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: Well, because that's our thing, you know, being people that
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: we're not comedians as such, but we do. Do you
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: know mc things you tell jokes on radio and but yeah,
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: so I never remember I feel like I need to
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: remember jokes.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: Well, this actually came off we went to radio HEARDECHI
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: We're doing a wonderful fundraiser for Bell Cancer Bell Cancer
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: Awareness yesterday a day in lou and there was a
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: feature that we had to appear on called tell you
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: Know Crappy Jokes, And I was like, damn it.
• 2:18
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: I don't have any jokes. So I went home and
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: obviously got swept up on the algorithm of jokes.
• 2:23
  Speaker 4: Trying to remember one.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah we do, I mean, we do have the Scandinavian one.
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: And oh, you'd say that one really quickly.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I've given away the punchline already.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: But that's what you never could start when you're doing comedy.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: You're like, here's the punchline.
• 2:35
  Speaker 4: Leave that, think about that.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: And we'll come back to that. But what do the
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: you know where noll nor we do. Naval ships have
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: QR codes on them so they can scan the nay
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: Van Scandinavian.
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: That's good.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, god, I think I think I almost can remember
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: what I saw the other day. I thought was what
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: was that was quite good?
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: I remember. Jokes's tough because you're like, that's so good.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: I'll never forget that joke. That'll be my one that
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: I pull out in social circumstances.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: And okay, here, okay, two robbers they're robbing a liquor store.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: Memory one robber grabs a bottle and just from.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Memory, is it part of the material?
• 3:07
  Speaker 4: Is it just from two.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: Robbers robbing and like a store? One Robin grabs a bottle.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: The other the other robbers it says, is this whiskey?
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: And the other says, yeah, but not as whiskey as
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: wabbing a bank.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: It's not bad.
• 3:22
  Speaker 4: I remember that.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: That's good that you can remember that. Yeah, just yes, right,
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: trying to say from memory. At least the audience member going,
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: well does he know? Is he just making this up.
• 3:34
  Speaker 4: As he goes? And I think it was wabbing a
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: bank too.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: I think you had to say it like whobbing a bank,
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: not as whiskey as wabbing a bank.
• 3:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I think that's right. I think I've got
• 3:43
  Speaker 4: that nearly correct.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: It's funny.
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: It kind of made sense. I tried to remember that.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: I saw that one on an internet, a little video,
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  Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, maybe I can remember that.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: Well, here's something for you, okay. I told my wife
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: she should embrace your mistakes, so she gave me a hug.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: That's the other thing. The jokes. You didn't even like,
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: ha ha, You're like, that's good, it's good.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: Another one. I used to play piano by ear, but
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: now I use my hands.
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: It's not bad.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because I just make everything up,
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: sort of a science.
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: One wanted to killer, and a sort of science for them.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: I'm reading a book on anti gravity. It's impossible to
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: put down.
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: Give me, give me the mixt as a joke that
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: you think I could try, Okay, I probably write and
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: saying that.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: This is I reckon. You might be able to get
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: this one. I would avoid the sushi if I was you.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: It's a little it's what's fishy. This is a fun game.
• 4:59
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: I'm on a whiskey diet.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: Oh, I had a whiskey joke there. It's a whiskey.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: It's a whiskey is warming, it's a little whiskey.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: Ever, I'm on a whiskey diet. I mean the whiskey
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: is not essentially the punchline. You could just go, I'm
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: on an alcohol only diet. I've lost.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: Brain cells, friends and family at my job, my liver.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
• 5:38
  Speaker 4: All Right.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: I can imagine Kevin Boyce, you're dead.
• 5:41
  Speaker 4: He does. He loves a dead joke.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: This is very good parallel lines. They have so much
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: in common. It's just a shame they will never meet
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: like that one. Do you know?
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: Because we did that thinking for your stay for Radio
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: HARDECHI because that was a wonderful thing, a day in
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: the loo. It was like raising awareness and money for
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: Bell Cancer New Zealand. Great thing, and they had some
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: jokes that we could kind of read out, you know,
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: because it's all about comedy, ships and giggles. I think
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: they were calling it. Yeah, but I got to do one.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: I got to do a few on radio just to
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: say it. But I screwed up one word and what
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: was you know when you say it slightly wrong with
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: the saurus. I kind of stumbled on there. That was
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: a crucial to my joke. I could see you and Angelina,
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: who are Yeah, it was crucial to the joke, and
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: it was the one key words is.
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: A tough one to rep you?
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So it's a real tough one to your mouth
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: around that one.
• 6:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah. I can't even with the punchline for that. But
• 6:42
  Speaker 4: it was never there.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: Was one of the world's most difficult words to pronounce you.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: I thought, Okay, see if you can get through these
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: A nominee, A nominee, nominee, nominee, nominee, nominee, can you
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: do it?
• 6:58
  Speaker 4: To pay you to pay it?
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I can think what about the source starting with W.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: I never know is that Worcester show or what's the
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: shire or what's the Yeah, I think we just say
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: what's the shy? But it's not it's like Chester shy. Yeah,
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: he's a big one for producer. She must have been
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: a meeting. Here's a big one for the colonel. The
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: colonel really tripped tripped colonels. There was a guy who
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: was a colonel and she was like the colonel. But
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: I can see how you were up with colonel because
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: it's exactly how about colonel.
• 7:34
  Speaker 4: It's spelled You're right, it's exactly.
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: By the way, although you had a crack at Johnno
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: about some pasta that he didn't know how to Yeah.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: Italian, you said, yeah, very very uned. We say noki
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: no yakey.
• 7:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Okay.
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: So well here's the thing, because if you go to
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: a restaurant and what should I do, Like if I'm
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: should I have a crack at it and I'm doing
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: my honest beast at it or do I just go
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: I have that one?
• 8:06
  Speaker 4: Thanks?
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: Well, I feel like if you're in New Zealand, it's
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: fine if your pronunciation is not correct because chances are
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: the waiter's got no idea either. But if you're in Italy, try.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Okay, I actually do, but I'm like, I'm not
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: one hundred percent sure pronounce.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: It's the most offensive words you know an Italian and
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: then you don't have to say what it does, but
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: you just say the Italian? Should I say it?
• 8:31
  Speaker 4: Oh?
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: Okay, that's the last episode because it's a podcast as
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: as it's like a racial slury.
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: Okay, cuts all, Okay.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: No, we will never know. We'll never know. You even
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: look guilty.
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because every time I've said it before, my mum
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: has slapped me across the face.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: Or is it like the worst word? Yeah, Bens googled it.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: No, I was just looking at something else because I
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: remember something from when I was traveling through Italy. But
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: I was trying to remember how that guy and it
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: was like, yeah, it was actually busting my you're busting
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: my balls. But it was like the part but something
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: I remembered it for a little.
• 9:07
  Speaker 4: While that what was this guy saying? Someone's yelling at someone?
• 9:12
  Speaker 4: He was quite heated. He was you at Italian? What
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: did he say? He's saying, Oh, he's he's yelling. He's saying,
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: you're busting my balls.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: Italian imagine you just it's just people yelling at each
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: other waving arms.
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: That's that one. Ah, It's like.
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: My dad says that all the time.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: And then my fun cooler that gets thrown around quite
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: a lot at home. That means up your assal cooler,
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: let's slick my arm.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: You don't know much tell you, but you know the route.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: I couldn't.
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: I could absolutely not tell you what how was your
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: day is? Or good morning or anything.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: To go especially to someone go to a restaurant and
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: I just say that when you order, are you ready order?
• 10:05
  Speaker 4: And you're like, yeah, let my ass?
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: Can you say alone?
• 10:11
  Speaker 4: Just say that that's a great brand my dad got.
• 10:14
  Speaker 4: Dad got a good prayer.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: He went he traveling when he was younger with my
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: mum when they were together, and they got taught. I
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: think they ended up on a boat to Europe and
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: it took months to get there, and there was I
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: think Spanish, a couple of Spanish guys that taught him
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: a song. Because my dad plays guitar and song, they
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: taught him a Spanish song and they were like, this
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: is a song you should teach him. My dad was
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: teaching him a New Zealand song, and then he'd go
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: around and playing it when he would And he didn't
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: realize so much later that it was a sweel. It
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: was basically saying he was my dad was saying, I'm
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: a wanker, I'm an ass It was like someone went
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: to him after we play He's like, I've been playing
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: this song so many times, Spanish song.
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: Here, you go play this, it's a beautiful language. And
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: then someone come to them, do you know that you're
• 10:53
  Speaker 4: what you're saying, Oh, I've got taught this, And they're like,
• 10:56
  Speaker 4: you're saying you're an asshole, You're a wanker. And he
• 10:59
  Speaker 4: was like, oh my god, am I I taught him?
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: Great break, great b And that's the first person who
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: had the guts to come up to him and say
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: Spanish pig speaking people.
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: Heard it and didn't say, what is this guy singing
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: about singing away with a heavy boys?
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah, good break one.
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: So but they wouldn't have got the witness I mean,
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: I guess they would have got the witness that when
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: he was learning it and going that's great, you spent.
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: A great job.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: But they would have had a chuckle too.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: Nowadays down he'd be the hot dog. Yeah yeah, everywhere
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: you know.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: Listen, this is this has been the final episode of
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: the Wild World Web. Yeah in final words, final words
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: go down in history.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: But this, I know we're all struggling to come to ten,
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: but that right, sad day. We're just saying that Megan
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: couldn't even be here, but couldn't.
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: And Grace who uploads it, thinking how the hell this
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: is going to get up?
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: Grace's actually can.
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: It's tough when you know you lose a gig, it's
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: not losing a child. Yeah, but it's been it's been
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: a wild ride. You know, who would have thought when
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: we started us two or three months ago. There you know,
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: we get to hear but didn't even know how.
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: We thought it was going to be.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: But I was looking forward to season two.
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, this was going to take us across the country.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: Podcast.
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I'd hope Joe Rogan we got a
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: good podcast, but no, you've never heard of it. But
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: we're all enjoy and thanks for listening, Appreciate it.