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Top 5 moments that a narcissist will ruin in your life · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're talking about the top five moments that a
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  narcissist will ruin in your life if you new here.
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  My name is Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist. And welcome to another episode
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  of The Narcissist Code. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back folks.
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  So yes to top five, top five cumulative moments and times
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  that a narcissistic person, toxic person, will, will, or can
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  ruin in your life and what not. Y'all.
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  So this is going to be tough and what not.
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  I know a lot of people want me to do video like me like me to
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  do videos like this because it kind of wakes, helps wake people
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  up. It kind of helps people
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  understand the the inner workings and the dynamics of the
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  mind of a narcissistic person, right?
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  So #1, the number one moment that I have now is birthdays.
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  Anybody's birthday, Your birthday, their own birthday,
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  your mama's birthday, the kids birthdays, anybody's birthday
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  they will try to ruin. It's just part.
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  Yeah, it's just part of the dynamic.
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  Not not all narcissistic people will ruin birthdays.
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  That's just not that's not how it always works.
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  That's not how it always goes down and whatnot.
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  But that happens quite a bit. Like your birthdays make them
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  uncomfortable. Your birthdays, or a celebration
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  of somebody else's life and their own birthdays, is a
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  celebration of their life. But it can also be just a kind
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  of reminder that they are facing their own mortality.
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  That they themselves are getting older, that the world is finite.
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  You know, time is moving. You're not going to be young
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  forever. So it causes a lot of them to
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  behave erratically. Not get you a gift.
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  Not get the kids a gift. Birthday.
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  They'll make it seem like birthdays are just another day
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  on the calendar. It's not, it's not the actual
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  day you were born. It's just the on the same, the
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  same date you weren't actually. You were born in 1985.
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  It's 2024. You're still celebrating your
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  birthday. Wow.
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  Time to grow up. Or kids.
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  Birthdays, you know, even some of the kids, birthdays and
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  whatnot, they will ruin. It's not always about the adults
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  in these situations. They will also ruin the kids
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  birthdays because a lot of narcissistic people can be
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  absolutely be jealous of their own children.
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  It's crazy how that works out a lot, but it does happen in these
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  relationship dynamics. Well, they absolutely will ruin
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  their own children's birthdays. I know it sounds stupid, but it
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  does happen. And I know some of y'all might
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  be children of narcissists, children of toxic people, and
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  this is what happens within those spaces, that they will
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  ruin their birthdays. Like I said at the beginning,
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  not all narcissists will do that.
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  Some of them will only treat you good on your birthday, some of
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  them will only be good on their birthdays, you know.
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  But a lot of them will absolutely bug out and lose
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  their minds on birthdays and ruin their birthdays and
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  whatnot. That happens quite a bit.
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  And I know, I know, I said I know, y'all know.
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  I talked to people in my comment section.
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  I've done 101's and zooms with people and they will say things
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  like, well, I never, in 20 years I never had a good birthday.
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  It's one of the reasons why because you cannot.
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  It's very difficult to have a good birthday when you're
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  dealing with a narcissistic person.
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  It it, it just is. Y'all.
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  They'll start arguments the night before so they have an
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  excuse not to get you a gift. They'll give it a solid
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  treatment. They'll go cheat on you on your
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  birthday. They'll get they'll they'll buy
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  you a gift, But it'd be like a gift for the house.
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  Here's a new broom set. Here's a new vacuum cleaner.
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  Here's a new stove, something like that.
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  Here's a new air fryer. You know something like that.
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  I got this air fryer. You could.
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  You had your eye on like I had my eye on a air fryer.
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  Well, we have one now, huh? Huh.
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  Something. Something that they themselves
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  can use as well. So you guys think I'll be watch
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  out for that as well. So the second moment I have on
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  my list right here, these are, these are in no particular
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  order. Y'all, because not everybody's
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  going to have these moments. But the second moment is
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  graduations. Graduations.
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  Look, when I say graduations, I don't just mean graduations from
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  college. I know college or high school
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  where people's minds go to when I say that.
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  Right there you can graduate from different programs.
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  You can get diplomas from different programs.
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  You can graduate. You can actually graduate
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  nowadays. You have graduations from pre
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  preschool. You have graduation from
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  kindergarten. You have graduations from from
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  middle school to high school. You say from from Intermediate
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  School to middle school. They will ruin graduations.
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  Y'all because why Lee? Why the why the hell would they
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  ruin graduation? Why the hell would they ruin my
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  my college graduation? Some of them will outright just
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  refuse to show up. Some of them will argue with you
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  the night before, you know. Some of them will absolutely
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  argue with you the night before your graduation to make your
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  graduation their celebration bad.
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  Some of them won't show up. Like I said, some of them won't
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  show up. Somebody won't get you a gift.
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  Somebody won't play. They won't come to the after
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  party or celebrate you or post anything about you online.
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  They will just make it about them like you.
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  It's supposed to be a special moment in your life, a special
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  time in your life. But they take it and ruin it,
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  you know? Because a lot of times they
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  might not have graduated. So they can be jealous of this.
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  They can be jealous of you in this situation because you get
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  in an extra degree. You moving forward in life.
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  You might have made it farther than they did, like that's why I
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  said something as simple as not simple.
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  Something you know, as common as graduated from high school.
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  They might not have done it because of some kind of
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  extenuating circumstances in their youth where they can make
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  it through high school and they can be jealous of you and they
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  can ruin your they can ruin your graduation from high school.
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  They can ruin your associate, you, you getting your
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  associate's degree or your certificate or your diploma or
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  your bachelor, bachelor's, master's, doctorate, whatever it
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  is, You know, some narcissistic people want to hold you back
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  because they didn't make it that far.
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  And they can be jealous of you, so they can absolutely ruin that
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  time of your life as well. The third moment I have it on
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  here, I got this. This is the big one right here.
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  Y'all it says, this is cumulative.
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  This is not just this one word, but it covers a lot of
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  situations. Holidays, holidays.
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  Narcissistic people will absolutely ruin holidays.
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  Not every single one of them. I'm.
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  I'm not speaking in absolutes because holidays again, could be
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  the only time that they're good to you.
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  They could be the only time that they show love, care and
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  affection. But a lot of narcissistic people
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  are going to absolutely ruin your holidays.
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  They just are. That's like, that's not me
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  trying. That's not me trying to just say
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  this is how I feel. No, this is what they will do.
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  They will absolutely make it about them.
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  You know, they'll start arguments the night before, the
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  week before. They'll not get you a gift.
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  They'll get you. Like I said, it's kind of
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  similar to the birthdays. They'll get you a a gift that
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  the whole house can use. They'll re gift something like
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  Christmas time, like they won't get you something but you'll get
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  them something, you know? They'll tell you not to get them
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  something and then when you don't get them something, they
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  get angry. But then when you do get them
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  something, it's not good enough or it's not something exactly.
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  Not exactly what they wanted. And if it even if it is
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  something exactly what they wanted, they'll act like they
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  didn't really want it. You see, it's a y'all.
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  When I tell y'all, it's a very difficult dynamic, living and
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  adjusting and trying to survive with a narcissist.
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  This is what I mean right here. Holiday season, they will ruin
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  if you got to go do something with your you know, they'll
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  disappear during the holidays, give you the solid treatment,
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  Stonewall you, narcissistic rage during the holidays.
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  You know Thanksgiving, they they they might be.
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  They might start a diet during Thanksgiving, like you might
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  cook. You might spend the whole night
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  whole night or whole day cooking, preparing a Turkey.
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  And like the damn near you, you preparing A carnivore.
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  A carnivore. Thanksgiving.
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  And then the next day they say, you know what?
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  I decided to start off this. My, my, my, my.
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  I say I'm giving thanks and I'm going vegan today.
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  So I'm not eating any of this now.
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  They're not eating for the holidays now.
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  They're making everybody else feel awkward for eating meat.
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  You see what I'm saying? They'll make everybody else's
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  situation awkward. Can't believe y'all eating meat.
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  Y'all just and this is their first hour being their first
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  hour being vegan. You know, they just had a burger
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  an hour ago. Now they make it.
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  Now they're all pretentious to make it.
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  Everybody else feel like they're beneath them.
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  You know, they got that pinky finger up making people feel
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  like they're beneath them for eating meat.
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  Now because they just went vegan on on Thanksgiving Valentine's
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  Day. They will rude.
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  They will absolutely destroy Valentine's Day.
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  Valentine's Day is a made-up holiday.
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  Well, I got to teach you something.
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  Valentine's Day I show you I love you every day of the year.
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  I got to teach you something for Valentine's Day.
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  Who cares? I don't care if it's veteran's
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  day. You're not a veteran.
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  Even if you are a veteran, you're not serving there, right?
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  You're not serving right now. You're not doing anything for
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  me. Memorial Day.
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  You still alive? I'm a memorial.
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  Like, you know, No, no, no, no. Whatever it is, y'all I'm just
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  telling you the holiday is kind of irrelevant.
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  Unless it's because why they do this, Lee?
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  Because they narcissists could have experienced some type of
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  holiday trauma, like growing up, they never got the gift that
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  they actually wanted for Christmas.
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  So they can be angry as hell and be mad and take it out on
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  everybody else. You know, gift giving is beneath
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  them. They never received gifts, so
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  they won't they they felt pain during their childhood.
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  And then there maybe in there are those who are giving on
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  holidays. They want everybody else to feel
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  the same type of way, you know, they want.
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  Everybody has to feel the same type of way, the same type of
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  dynamic. So that's what I'm saying.
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  Like in these situations you have to be able to just
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  understand like if you haven't had a good holiday in 10 years,
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  why? Why you thinking of the holiday
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  #11? Year #11 would be different.
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  Why are you trying to convince yourself that year, year 11 is
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  going to be different? You're going to have the same
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  type of dynamic, the same type of situation is going to work
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  and stuff like this. Y'all, they're going to ruin
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  your holiday as well. They just are not like again,
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  not all of them will ruin the holidays, but a lot will.
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  The 4th moment I got on here, y'all is vacations vacation
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  time. They will absolutely.
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  You y'all know this. A lot of narcissists will ruin
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  your trips. I've talked to so many people
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  like we, you know, in the in the beginning, the first few trips
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  are good. But we haven't had a good
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  vacation in 10 years. I don't know why I keep planning
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  them. Because you're damned if you do.
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  You're damned if you don't. Why did you plan a vacation this
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  year? Oh, because every year we go on
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  a vacation, you ruin it. That's because you act.
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  You don't act right. That's because you don't go
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  with. You don't go places I want to
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  go. But then why don't you plan
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  them? You plan it better than I do.
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  What you say it's a it's a you can't a lot of the situation.
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  You can't win y'all Rd. trips. Imagine taking a 10 hour road
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  trip or a cross country road trip and they they give you the
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  silent treatment or stonewalling you or blasting music to annoy
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  you, you know, Or being taking phone calls and doing things
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  that intentionally try to set you off and annoy you because
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  they're feeling a certain type of way you know when they get
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  away from. When narcissists get away from
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  home, they tend to act differently.
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  Y'all not all of them will do this.
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  Y'all some of them, the only. Again, the outliers will only
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  act good on vacation. They act different on vacation
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  because this form is escape, an escape from real life.
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  But a lot of them will absolutely behave in a crazy,
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  crazy way. You have to be prepared for
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  that. I'm just telling you, you have
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  to be prepared. That's the mindset.
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  That's the dynamic that a lot of them would do.
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  This is, I'm telling you, this is me.
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  Just like, hey, this is Lee Hammond.
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  Let you know that if you haven't had a good vacation in 10 years,
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  you probably won't have one another year, 11.
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  You know, I'm not telling you to plan.
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  I'm not telling you to plan trips without them.
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  I'm just saying that just prepare for them to act up and
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  act right. Just plan to do things, you
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  know, just don't let them get to you because, you know, set your
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  boundaries and don't let them get to you regardless of what
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  they doing. You know, because you know,
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  anticipation. You know, one of the greatest
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  ways to protect yourself against narcissistic people is to
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  anticipate their actions. You know, if they're going, you
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  know, they're going to act up and use the silent tribute and
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  just sequester themselves on a trip.
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  Go and have a backup plan. Like, I know they're going to
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  act up and they're going to go in the room and try to shut the
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  door. We going, we going to do some
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  excursions? You see what I'm saying?
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  Just plan for that type of stuff right there because Rd. trips,
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  flights, silent treatments. It just, it gets bad.
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  Y'all in the last moment I got to hear y'all yeah, if I missed
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  one or I missed several, I know, Yeah, this is just top five.
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  I know there's plenty more, but this is just the first few that
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  came to my mind. The last one right here is
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  promotions at work. They will not celebrate your
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  promotions or your achievements in any way at work.
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  Hey babe, I got a $10.00 an hour raise.
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  We're going to be able to get that new car.
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  We're going to be able to move into that new house, whatever,
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  whatever what you had to do to get it.
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  They'll start making excuses for why you got why you are not
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  qualified for that, but you just got it because of something
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  else. You know you you're privileged.
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  You're it is you're that, you know, you're a woman, you're a
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  man, you're whatever race or ethnicity.
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  You're this religion, You know, the boss is this religion.
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  So you're that religion. That's the only reason you got
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  it. You're not really qualified to
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  do that. You know it's a lot of them will
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  absolutely mess with you exactly like that.
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  You know, and I'll tell you like when you try to promote, get a
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  promotion, they will make decisions for you.
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  They'll they'll make you feel bad about getting a promotion.
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  Even though their promotion helps out, helps out around the
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  house, it helps out, helps out in the life, helps out take care
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  of the kids, helps them out. You know you can help pay their
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  their debt, their child support, whatever they behind in, you
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  know, their bills, their student loans.
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  You can help them pay that type of stuff off, but they will feel
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  like they're entitled to it anyway.
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  They don't feel like they're getting anything extra from you.
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  They feel like this is the baseline.
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  You're supposed to be doing this.
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  You know what I'm just saying? Like they will not celebrate
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  your promotions. They'll make you promote, make
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  you feel crazy, make you feel bad about getting promoted.
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  And sometimes if you have some requirements to hit before
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  promotion, like but you got to take a test or something like
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  that, they'll argue with you and fuss and fight with you the
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  night before, the week before, and they'll just do why you
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  taking the test? They'll be texting you and
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  calling you and things like that.
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  You know they're messing with you, trying to distract you,
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  doing the test, doing your, doing your, doing your promotion
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  exam or whatever, doing your qualification exam to get
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  promoted. They'll mess with you.
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  Y'all. You know there's like, I say it
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  right there. Anything, anything.
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  And it's just like, you know, those are the first top five
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  right there. If y'all go, thank you some
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  more. Drop them in the comment
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  section. Drop specific moments you want
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  to in the comment section. Y'all again, if you haven't, you
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  don't. If you don't know already, I
• 13:32
  have a community that self love may not self love.
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  A support group called The Mental Healers.
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  The link is in the description of every video and podcast I do.
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  There's weekly zoom meetings for that group of other people.
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  There's a group of other people that experience similar things
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  as you. You can meet friends and
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  understand what you went through.
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  Y'all. Anyways, y'all, thank you for
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  tuning in. Of course.
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  Like this. Subscribe to this channel with
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  the humans is out peace. Thank you so much for making it
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  to the end of my video. You are a mental illness rock
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  star and I appreciate you for being here.
• 14:02
  If you haven't already, make sure to click on the screen to
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  subscribe to the channel and watch another one of my videos
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  out. Thank you.
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  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.