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Praise, Criticism and Comparing Oneself With Others · Sri Aurobindo Studies

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  The vital nature generally craves praise and becomes upset
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  with criticism. This habit has been increased by
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  the rise of social media with the likes and dislikes that
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  appear on various posts, videos and blogs.
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  People work hard to increase their likes and followers and
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  make that almost an end in itself, to justify their
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  activities, ideas, actions and reactions to themselves through
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  this external form of validation.
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  One of the consequences of this fixation on external validation
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  is the temptation to compare oneself with others and thereby
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  judge others and enhance one's own internal sense of self worth
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  or in some cases, inner sense of defeat and failure if one does
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  not measure up in the comparison.
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  In reality, it is counterproductive and a
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  misdirected focus to concentrate on the praise or blame one
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  receives, as each individual has their own process, method,
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  timing and objectives, and not everyone follows the same path
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  of development, trajectory or end goal.
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  Similarly, comparison with others is necessarily an
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  external and superficial action that does not comprehend the
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  entirety of what anyone is here to do or how they are here to do
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  it. Sometimes what appears to be a
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  circuitous route turns out to be a more comprehensive approach
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  that bears its fruit later, but in a more complete way.
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  While we tend to seek praise, which feeds our vanity and thus
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  fulfils the vital nature's desire, and become upset by
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  criticism which leads in many cases to a response of anger or
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  depression, the deeper reality is that criticism actually can
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  play an important role in our progress as it highlights for us
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  areas we should at least be looking at within ourselves.
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  While we should not give undue importance to either praise or
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  blame, we can take the opportunity for an inward look
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  to determine whether and to what extent some actual underlying
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  fault or weakness is being exposed to our view.
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  Srioro Vindo observes quote This is a great error of the human
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  vital to want compliments for their own sake and to be
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  depressed by their absence and imagine that it means there is
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  no capacity in this world. One starts with ignorance and
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  imperfection in whatever one does.
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  One has to find out one's mistakes and to learn.
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  One has to commit errors and find out by correcting them the
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  right way to do things. Nobody in the world has ever
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  escaped from this law. So what one has to expect from
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  others is not compliments all the time, but praise of what is
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  right or well done, and criticism of errors and
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  mistakes. The more one can bear criticism
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  and see one's mistakes, the more likely one is to arrive at the
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  fullness of one's capacity. As for comparison with others,
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  one ought not to do that. Each one has his own lesson to
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  learn, his own work to do, and he must concern himself with
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  that, not with the superior or inferior progress of others in
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  comparison with himself. If he is behind today, he can be
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  in full capacity hereafter, and it is for that future perfection
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  of his powers that he must labor.
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  But learn to welcome criticism and the pointing out of
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  imperfections. The more you do so, the more
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  rapidly you will advance. End Quote Reference Srioro Bindu
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  and the Mother. Looking from Within, Chapter 2.
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  Looking at Oneself and Others, pages 38 to 39.