Latest / Mommywood / Lang Fisher: Showrunning, Single Motherhood, and Doing It Her Way

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Lang Fisher: Showrunning, Single Motherhood, and Doing It Her Way · Mommywood

0:02
Welcome to Mommy Would, the podcast where motherhood meets
0:06
Hollywood. Real moms, real talk, no
0:09
scripts. I'm your host, Emily Bolt, and
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we are talking about the messy, funny and unfiltered side of
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being a mom in the entertainment industry.
0:19
Welcome back to another episode of Mommy Would.
0:21
I'm your host, Emily Bolt, and today's guest is a showrunner,
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which if you don't work in television, let me explain.
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That is the job, the top job, the person steering the entire
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ship, scripts, notes, tone, casting, edits, network calls,
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creative direction, all of it. It's one of the biggest, most
0:43
high pressure roles in Hollywood and she's done it.
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I am talking about Lang Fisher, Co, creator and showrunner of
0:53
Never Have I Ever. And now she's also behind
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Netflix's The Four Seasons she's written on Brooklyn 99, The
1:01
Mindy Project is she is operating at the highest level
1:04
of television. And she's also a single mom.
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She chose to have a baby with her gay best friend and created
1:12
a family that doesn't look traditional but is deeply
1:15
intentional, modern and rooted in love and partnership.
1:19
So today we're talking about running a writer's room and
1:23
running a life, about building a career at the very top while
1:29
also building using a family on your own terms.
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We talk about leadership, ambition, identity, and what
1:36
happens when you realize you don't have to follow the
1:38
blueprint everyone else handed to you.
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Because here's what I love about this conversation.
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It's about power. Creative power, personal power,
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the power to decide what your career looks like and what your
1:54
family looks like. And honestly, that is a huge I
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am so excited for you to listen to this amazing conversation and
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I'm so honored that I was able to chat with this incredible
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woman. So please enjoy this episode of
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Mommy. Wood with.
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Lang Fisher, So Lang Fisher, thank you for being a part of
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Mommy Wood. Thank you for having me excited
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to be here. Well let's start by what is your
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kids name and age. My son's name is Armie Fisher.
2:34
Army is an like ARM i.e. I had him and then like 4 days
2:42
later army hammer came out as a cannibal and like a weird sex
2:49
pervert so I was like oh good the only other army I've ever
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heard of. Like perfect timing.
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Just signed that birth certificate it.
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Was truly right after I gave birth.
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But yes, he is a very cute 6 year old in kindergarten I.
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Love it and you are a single mom, yes?
3:12
I am, yeah. Amazing.
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Are you Co parenting? Are you?
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What's the? I, so I was, I'm a single mom by
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choice, but I, I had Army with a wonderful friend of mine who is
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also a writer. And we, we, I, I am the primary
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parent, but Chris is in Army's life and they are, you know,
3:47
Chris's dad and they are very sweet and have a great
3:50
relationship. But.
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I love that. That's amazing.
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So and he calls him dad. He calls him Dad, Yeah.
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Oh, that's so that's so nice. What made you like, 'cause
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obviously that's, you know, a different decision that like
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different path to make that decision to becoming a mom.
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So how did that? Come about.
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Yeah. How did that come up for you?
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And then what was it like asking your friend to do that?
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Like how was that? You know, it was really funny
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because it started as a writer's room bit.
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So like it was born out of a, of a room bit.
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Chris is a like a really like a perfect specimen for a father.
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He's like, incredibly morally grounded.
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Like, he has a really strong moral compass.
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He is very smart. He is very athletic.
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He's kind and handsome. And he is just like this really
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like total package. He is a gay man.
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So, you know, we could not romantically fall in love
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because I am not his type. But he we were in a writer's
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room at The Mindy Project and there were a lot of married
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people in the room who had children and or people who were
5:30
going to have children. And I feel like we had a bit
5:33
going that he and I were going to have a child and name that
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child Nicole Kidman, regardless of sex.
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And it would be one word, Nicole Kidman.
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And so whenever anybody was talking about their children,
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Chris and I would talk about our imaginary child, Nicole Kidman.
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And then, you know, I dated some people that I was like, this
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isn't going to, this isn't going to be the thing.
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And then I was like, you know, 38.
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And I was like, I, I want to be a mom.
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And the pressure on these relationships is like too much.
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And, you know, I have a good career and I can do this on my
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own. And so I there was just a day
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when I feel like I was sitting with Chris, like I think we were
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like, out to dinner or at a party or something.
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And I was like, what if the bit were real?
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And he was immediately like, yeah, I'm into it.
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And, and so I was like, OK, great.
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And and then like, you know, it was, it was like a very unique
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process. Like it was like I, I had like
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frozen my eggs at like 35. And, and so I knew those were in
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the bank and I, and so we went to the fertility Dr. And they, I
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mean, to their credit, they make you do a bunch of stuff like if
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you want to go this route, like you have to they, you know, I, I
7:18
think for legal reasons, they want you to go to, you have to
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like, go to like, like a, a therapist, like a, that is like,
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that is approved by the fertility clinic together and
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then individual sessions. And mostly it is to determine, I
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think who legally owns the embryos.
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But the therapist was actually incredibly helpful.
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And it was one of those things where, like, through this very
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weird pathway to parenthood, we did a thing that I think kind of
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all parents should do, which was like.
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I was just gonna say I was like, why do they not do that for all
8:05
parents? Well.
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It was really interesting because it was like you had, you
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know, you had to be like talk about all these really important
8:13
things. It was like, like if there's a
8:17
genetic anomaly, like would you be, would you abort?
8:21
Like if it's twins, would you do, would you consider an
8:24
abortion? Like it was like they asked us
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all these things that like I was like what and you know, and then
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like in terms of Co parenting or parenting and what like what are
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like. I mean we talked about
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everything from like public or private schools, like religion,
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like what It was just like this really interesting thing mostly
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to just sort of get see where everyone was.
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And then in the end, I think like we were, but we both
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decided and initially when I went in there, I think I wanted
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it to be like real Co parenting. Like I wanted it to be 5050.
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And I think Chris was more like, I think I'm like a sperm donor
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and you are the parent. And I remember that being like a
9:13
moment of friction because I was like, well then why wouldn't I
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just use a sperm donor? Like, I'm using you because you
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are my friend and I want my son to have a like, father.
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And then kind of after the baby was born, like we settled into
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like, what is actually very natural, which is like, I am
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still the primary parent. But I think Chris like fell in
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love with this child and like there's much more in his world
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than I think he thought he was going to be.
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Like he goes to parent teacher conferences.
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He goes to like, you know, he took him to a gargantuan bounce
9:54
house warehouse this weekend. Like he goes to birthday parties
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with him. He does like all of the things
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that I think he was like afraid. I think he was had just like
10:05
fears and was not sure he was going to be good at it.
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And then, like when this little boy came, it was like he was
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like, oh, I love him so much. I want to do everything with
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him. So.
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So it's, it's, you know, like worked out and like, truly the
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best way it could possibly have worked out where I get the thing
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I want, which is I get to make all the decisions.
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Yeah, right. And he gets the thing he wants,
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which is like, he has a son and they have like a beautiful
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relationship. And you know, he comes over all
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the time and they do fun stuff together.
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I That sounds like such a lovely way that it all turned out.
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That is, that's so great for all parties involved.
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Like it's really nice, you know, it's like we are kind of like
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almost like a divorced couple that like loves each other and
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has and has no animosity or resentment.
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Like we are like, 'cause we're just like, you know, extremely
11:02
close friends And so like, we can do things together.
11:05
We could go on vacation together.
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Like, you know, he, we live in different houses.
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But like he, there is never any, there's no tension because it's
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like we, there is no tension 'cause we, we are friends.
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We were never romantic. Yeah, yeah, that's amazing.
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They really should have all parents go through that because
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there are so many questions that I'm like, oh, yeah, you guys
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have to talk about 8000 things that might come up, might not.
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But like parents don't think about that until like you're
11:41
like, oh, I just want to have a kid with you.
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And then you're like, oh, wait, we should talk about a lot of
11:47
things. That's a genius idea.
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Do they have? I'm sure they have it.
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Yeah, parents. You can, I mean, I think you can
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go, it should be you can go to any therapist before.
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I think it's like you don't anticipate how how you know all
12:08
the things you could be on a different page about, you know?
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Or one just assumes that the other.
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We'll just do what they want. Yeah, or like we have this,
12:18
we've been together for so long, I'm sure we have the same
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parenting ideas. And it's like, Oh no, not
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always. I don't love that.
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That's such like, that's such a great like modern, like less
12:34
usual story. And it's it's fabulous.
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I love it. So getting into like career
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stuff, when was the first, 'cause you are obviously very
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successful at what you do, but what was the first time that you
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thought like, oh, I can do this for real?
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Or what was your Yeah, what was your beginning into this crazy?
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You know, I was very initially when I was in college, I did not
13:10
think I was going to be a writer.
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Like I, I really liked performing.
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I did a lot of improv and that stuff.
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And I loved like, loved comedy, like loved comedy movies, loved
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all things comedy. Writing seemed incredibly hard
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to me. It seemed like very hard.
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And you know, like the barrier to entry was impossible.
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Like I, I felt much more at home in like the performing space and
13:47
after, I think after like college, you know, I, I
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struggled a lot like trying to get into any job or like, you
14:02
know, the situation where I was like auditioning or things like,
14:06
it was just too hard. So I let it a lot of like just
14:11
terrible day jobs. And then I would do like some
14:14
sketch comedy and improv comedy and stand up and stuff at night,
14:20
but it wasn't like necessarily like going anywhere.
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And you know, it's also like your 20s and so you're kind of
14:27
like a mess anyways. So like, but I had a friend from
14:33
college who was working at the Onion and they reached out and
14:41
said they were starting this video division to like do funny
14:44
videos and they were wanted to hire like a group of improvisers
14:49
to come in once a week and try to come up with like funny video
14:53
ideas. And so I did that while like
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having some terrible day job and then eventually like that turned
15:05
into a full time job and but I don't think I really felt like,
15:12
oh, I can do this. This is great.
15:15
Like until I like started working at 30 Rock and I got
15:23
that job after The Onion. And it was my very first like
15:26
sitcom writing job. And it was the final season of
15:29
30 Rock. And that room was just like on a
15:32
pedestal. And it's like, these are the
15:35
best comedy writers working today and they're all in one
15:40
room. And it was like, this is this is
15:42
it like, and I was the only new person they hired.
15:48
And I feel like I, you know, I was like a a first.
15:54
I was a staff writer. So it wasn't like I was crushing
15:57
it when I got there. You know I like they.
15:59
Got in that room though, so that says A.
16:02
Lot I got it I got in that room. They like, love, love lovingly,
16:07
like hired me, but I, you know, but what I did feel like when I
16:14
was in that room was I was like, this is where I belong.
16:19
Like I really felt more than any place or anything I had ever
16:23
done before, I was like, this is it.
16:26
This is the thing. I love this.
16:29
I love the people who are doing this.
16:31
I love this atmosphere. I love this more than
16:34
performing. I love, I love this.
16:37
And, and, and there were times at that job because everyone was
16:44
so smart and so funny and quick that I would come home and I
16:48
would feel like, oh, I am, I am not smart enough to do this.
16:52
I do not have this. But at the end of that job, I
16:58
was like, you know, I, if I can do it in that room, like I can
17:05
do it anywhere. And then the fact that like
17:10
Robert and Tina wanted to like hire me again at the end of it
17:15
for other things. I was like, oh, I can't.
17:20
That was like when I was like, I can do this, you know, but I had
17:23
to be like the end of the job and somebody else had to be
17:25
like, you did a good job there. And then I was like, great, you
17:29
know? But yeah, that, I mean, that was
17:31
it, that that first job, I was like, this is where I belong.
17:35
And then from there, you know, different rooms have had
17:39
different challenges and stuff, but I've always like, loved it.
17:43
And I've always felt like, yeah, this is what I was meant to do.
17:48
That's was there anything because obviously as actors or
17:54
anybody else, like inside that room were like, oh, the room
17:57
where it happens, like it seems so elusive.
18:01
Was there obviously we have ideas of what inside a writer's
18:06
room looks like. Was there, were there things
18:08
that were like, oh, this tracks or like, and then what were
18:13
things that surprised you about once you were in the room?
18:18
You're like, oh, I wasn't expecting you to be like this.
18:22
I mean, I think like, I mean, some of the same things that
18:26
surprised me would probably be like boring to talk about
18:29
because they're just like the like the process of, of stuff.
18:33
Like, for instance, like, you know, at, at the Onion and at
18:38
late and like late night jobs, you get, you go and like sit and
18:42
write by yourself. And then like you come in and
18:44
you present your jokes and your, or the onion headlines and
18:50
stuff. And, and, and I think the thing
18:52
that surprised me the most in this atmosphere is you have to
18:57
come in and you all sit in a room together and you have to
19:00
pitch things off the fly. Like you have to come up with
19:03
funny stuff. Like you can't like ghost it and
19:05
like perfect the wording of a joke and then bring it to them.
19:10
It's like you have to kind of blurt stuff out.
19:13
And that's a real practice. Like, you know, I certainly was
19:17
not good at it at like at 30 Rock.
19:22
I mean, I'm hopefully I'm better at it now, but it's still very
19:25
hard. It's hard to be like on your
19:28
toes, thinking of stuff and especially hard when you're new
19:33
and you're like, you know, trying to impress people and
19:38
hoping they like you. It's much easier when you're
19:41
like, well, I'm like an old hat at this and this is my job and
19:44
this, you know, and, and you're, you don't care if you mess up or
19:49
say something weird. But that was, I mean, that that
19:54
process was new. I mean, I think in that
19:57
particular room, the thing that surprised me is like, people
20:03
were just so sharp. I remember being like these
20:07
people. Are so brilliant, like they are
20:10
so brilliant and they are so funny and quick and like
20:16
eviscerating in this way that is like I was just like oh, I have
20:21
got to like up my game. Like they just everyone was
20:25
like, I don't know, like speaking a different language
20:29
almost with how fast they were, they were coming up with stuff
20:34
and how they like would like dish stuff at each other and
20:37
like, you know, somebody would throw it right back.
20:41
That vibe was like new and very exciting for me, but it was very
20:46
intimidating. I bet.
20:48
I mean, was that like the first time you had met and worked with
20:53
Tina Fey, 'cause I would be like, I mean, now obviously
20:57
you're, you've worked with her and but like.
21:01
I I just yeah, I had never met in.
21:03
General I would be like, I don't know what to say.
21:08
Yeah, I mean for especially like, you know, at that time
21:14
especially, I mean like, I guess I'm like, I guess I'm getting up
21:19
there in years now. But like there just weren't that
21:21
many, there weren't as many women in comedy rooms.
21:24
And so like the, you know, and that room had a had a feud, but
21:30
like other rooms, you know, you would be the only one.
21:33
And you know, like, and, and so like, I think like for me being
21:42
a young woman who had watched her on SNL, you know, she's
21:48
everyone's hero. She is the reason why, you know,
21:52
she made, she made, she changed a bunch of people's minds on
21:57
like how funny women could be. There were articles because of
22:04
her about that's like women are funny, you know, or whatever.
22:07
It's like, Can you believe it? So, yeah, being like my first
22:12
job, being in a room with her, I was, I was petrified, you know,
22:17
I'm, it was a chance of a lifetime.
22:20
I didn't want to blow it. And I remember the very first
22:23
day she came in and, you know, everyone else had been on
22:27
hiatus, so she gave everyone a hug because they hadn't seen
22:30
each other. And but then she gave me a hug.
22:32
And I, you know, I was like, Oh my God, Tina Pig gave me a hug.
22:37
Yeah. Oh my God, that's amazing.
22:40
Yeah. I'd be like, yeah, we're best
22:41
friends. Let's just.
22:43
This is totally normal. So funny.
22:47
Well, now, like obviously you've had continued success and now
22:55
you, are you part of the process of hiring the writers as well?
23:02
And what do you look for in now being the person who gets to be
23:08
like in charge? What do you look for as like,
23:13
like they picked you at the beginning, Like, what do you
23:17
look for in somebody new that you're bringing in?
23:22
You know, it's interesting, like I feel that there's a bunch of
23:29
things you look for because it's it's you're, you're never
23:34
bringing a new person in to solve all your problems.
23:37
You know, you're never giving someone a, a, their first break
23:42
to drive the show, but you are looking for someone with
23:46
potential. And I usually look for someone
23:52
who seems funny, just naturally funny.
23:59
I look at their sample and to see if you know their writing
24:03
style is good and to make sure that they sort of have at least
24:09
a cursory understanding of of how a script should go and if
24:15
they have some interesting ideas or a funny point of view.
24:18
I mean that that spec strip script that people send out is
24:25
important because it gives you a window into their personality as
24:30
as well as their, you know, ability to kind of innovate and
24:36
come up with new and interesting ideas.
24:41
And also like, last but not least, you're looking for
24:44
someone who isn't going to be the bad apple that spoils the
24:47
bunch. You know, you there are some
24:49
people who are very talented but have personalities that just
24:54
don't mesh well in a writer's room.
24:56
And you want to make sure that the chemistry in the room is
25:00
good because you're all spend all day long with each other and
25:04
have to work together to, you know, put out a show.
25:08
Yeah. Well, which makes sense that
25:10
most people tend to work with the same people continuously,
25:14
because right? Work well together and you like
25:16
each other. Why would you not work?
25:18
Well, and it's like the devil you know.
25:20
Yeah. That's true sometimes.
25:23
I mean, it's so, you know, it's, it's so tricky to bring in a new
25:28
person. I mean, you have to because you
25:30
need new blood and you want to make sure that other people get
25:33
opportunities, but it always is a risk, you know, you're always
25:38
worried that that person's really kind of mess with the
25:43
with the vibe, but you know. Yeah.
25:47
Every now and then, every now and then, that makes for good
25:49
word war stories. What?
25:54
So what did? How did you start into like go
26:02
from writing to getting into producing and then full on show
26:08
running 'cause I'm sure when you first started, like the idea of
26:14
being a showrunner is like so overwhelming.
26:19
Like how did you, how did you get there?
26:24
Yeah. So.
26:27
No, I mean, I think what's, what's, what's always funny to
26:34
me is you'll do these, these writing panels, you know, at
26:39
festivals and stuff, and there's always someone who stands up and
26:43
they're, and you know, they're like, I have this incredible
26:46
pilot that like I, I'm, I think would make a really good show
26:51
and I'm, I'm ready to make it right now.
26:54
And, and you look at them and you're, you know, you say, hey
26:58
man, you haven't even staffed on a show ever.
27:01
You've never been a part of this process.
27:03
And, and so for me, I always knew, you know, from the
27:11
beginning of my career, I would never want to run a show until I
27:16
really knew how to run a show, you know, until I had worked my
27:21
way up at a normal pace and then was ready.
27:26
Because what you find is that people who had this incredible
27:30
idea and then they their show gets made and they are, you
27:33
know, baby writers or have never been on a staff is they always
27:37
give that show over to a seasoned showrunner to be in
27:40
charge of it. And you've lost control of your
27:44
show and you should because you don't know how to run a show.
27:48
But and so that's sort of a long winded preamble to my my
27:58
journey. Journey is such a Bachelorette
28:02
term I. Know.
28:06
We're on this journey together, but I so for people who don't
28:12
know, when you're watching like the opening credits of ATV show
28:17
and you're seeing things like executive producer and producer
28:21
and supervising producer and Co producer, most of those are
28:25
writers and those are the natural title jumps that people
28:31
go through every year. So your first year as a writer,
28:36
you're a staff writer, then you are an, a story editor, then
28:40
you're an executive story editor, and then you get into
28:43
the sort of producer levels. And, but that still just means
28:47
you are a writer in the writers room.
28:50
You're not out there figuring out the budgets or, you know,
28:55
building sets or hiring people. But it it is a it's you know, it
29:02
is a, a title jump. So and and you do, you know, you
29:07
do some producing at that. You know, if you're in the upper
29:11
level, you know, you will go to meetings and make decisions
29:14
about creative things. If the showrunner can't do it,
29:20
you know, you you will cover set and and that sort of thing.
29:25
But but you are, it's when you become a showrunner, it is such
29:31
a giant jump from being just like an upper level writer who's
29:37
mostly has to come up with ideas and, and use, you know, like
29:44
scripts and rewrites and stuff. When you become a showrunner,
29:48
you become all of a sudden an instant like CEO of a company of
29:54
200 people. You know, you just, it is just
29:57
this all of a sudden gargantuan leap into a whole new world of
30:04
like management and, you know, being a boss and juggling a
30:13
bunch of different hats and you are the person who has to make
30:17
every decision. And so you're just having
30:20
meetings all day about anything. It's like it's like, OK, you
30:26
know, anything from what backpack should this character
30:31
carry to what is the paint color on the House to, you know, in
30:39
post. It's like, should we have,
30:42
should we color correct this to make it a little darker?
30:45
It's every sort of step of the way.
30:47
There's 1 billion questions that will come your way.
30:52
And then there's all the managerial stuff, you know,
30:55
there's HR things, there's legal stuff.
30:58
So you know, you, you are, you really have to understand how TV
31:05
show works before you step into that role to be able to do it.
31:12
And I was given the opportunity by Mindy Kaling because she
31:20
wanted to make never have I ever and she wanted to make it with
31:22
me and I was so grateful to her. And and so, you know, I we Co
31:30
created that together and that was my first show running job,
31:33
but I felt ready for it because I had, you know, had worked on a
31:40
million shows before and had worked my way up and and and we
31:46
had good people and we assembled a really good writing writers
31:50
room. But yeah, did that answer your
31:54
question? I feel like I was like I was
31:56
giving like a. Like a.
31:58
Community College course on showrunning.
32:02
No, it's good. I didn't know the that about
32:06
like that the writing and becoming a producer is more of
32:11
just like the stepping stone. But then it is then to know that
32:16
that is a big leap to being a showrunner.
32:20
And then so how? And then you well, obviously you
32:25
and Mindy had worked together and and she just like brought
32:32
you this idea and you guys kind of created it together.
32:36
I think the success of the show definitely says a lot about your
32:41
show running abilities. But going back to like the idea
32:46
of having all of those constant, you're having to make decisions
32:54
obviously with people, but. It's.
32:58
A lot you just you. But how do you then?
33:04
Because I know as a mom to having to make all of these
33:08
decisions, don't you? Do you ever just get like
33:12
decision fatigue at one or the other or both at the same time?
33:18
What do you, what do you do with that?
33:20
That's so many decisions. I mean, I think for, I think for
33:24
both motherhood and show running, you have to have good
33:28
people around you to bounce ideas off of because like, yeah,
33:34
there's, there are times where I'm just like, I don't know, I
33:36
like, don't know what the answer is.
33:38
And like show running is really hard, as is motherhood.
33:44
They are both very all consuming. 1 is more important
33:49
than the other, but they are. I won't tell you which.
33:53
One, I won't tell you which one you can just kind of try to
33:55
guess what my values are. But you know, I, I think you you
34:02
don't want to get anything wrong.
34:04
And so for show running, it's really important to have good
34:10
like a good #2 under you, which is like the next highest writer,
34:15
somebody that you can be like. Do you think this joke is bad?
34:19
Do you think this storyline is not making any sense?
34:23
Do you, what do you think this, you know, the song should be
34:28
that plays here? You know, someone that you can
34:30
just at least and, and then, and you know, I mean, I, I feel like
34:34
I've been lucky. Never have I ever, you know, I
34:38
could have. I was happy to reach out to any
34:41
department head or anyone on the writing staff.
34:43
Like it was really nice. And then on Four Seasons, like
34:48
we are just, we're just like living a luxurious life 'cause
34:52
there's three showrunners. So, like, Tina Tracy and I just,
34:58
like, get to, like, lean on each other.
35:00
And that has been, like, glorious.
35:02
I mean, so such a dream because you can really have a normal
35:06
life that way. Yeah.
35:10
Now I think that I assume having women showrunners is a lot
35:17
different than male. Maybe not different, but I feel
35:20
like it might be better because I.
35:24
Mean, I think so, but I honestly am a woman so I'm biased.
35:29
But that being said is how how true is that and what do you
35:34
think the pros are, especially because you, Tina and Tracy are
35:37
also all moms? Do you think that that that
35:45
being both a mom and a woman have an impact on you as a
35:54
showrunner? I think, I mean, I definitely
35:57
think so. I mean, I wouldn't go so far as
36:00
to like, say, like a blanket statement that's like all women
36:06
showrunners are better than all men showrunners 'cause that's
36:09
just not true. And there's some, I mean,
36:12
fabulous male showrunners. It's really like who is a
36:18
reasonable person who is gonna like treat their crew and staff
36:24
with respect and not waste out anyone's time?
36:27
I think what's nice and true about Tracy, Tina and I is 1.
36:33
I think we're all really nice people who do really respect the
36:37
people who work with us. And I think we want it.
36:43
We want people to want to come to work.
36:45
We want them to have a nice time at work.
36:47
And I think we are all deeply aware that like this life is so
36:53
incredible that we have we've been given the chance to make
36:57
television for a living. And that is just like, if if you
37:01
are a person who makes that a horrible experience, then like,
37:06
what are you doing? Why are why would you even
37:09
choose this? Like, go do something else
37:11
that's already bad. They'll be, you know, a coal
37:15
miner. But I do think the thing that
37:19
motherhood and and having children does is like, you know,
37:26
we don't waste people's time because we want to be done at
37:30
the end of the day so we can spend time with our kids.
37:33
You know, we and we have been very, I think, supportive.
37:38
I think almost everyone with the exception of maybe a couple
37:42
people in our writers room, our parents.
37:44
And we really want people to be like, if your kid has a concert
37:48
at school, you can go to that concert.
37:51
Like if your kid is sick, you need and you need to like take
37:56
some time or something. You know, we want to make sure
37:59
that people can live lives that aren't insane.
38:04
And, you know, I think we want to make sure we can be there for
38:08
our children as well. You.
38:10
Know I was going to say is that hard to be the person who also
38:16
is the head but then like are you able to do yeah are you able
38:20
to do that for yourself as. Well, well, I mean, I think on
38:26
this show, you know, never have I ever was a little bit more
38:28
stressful because I I was primarily the main showrunner
38:34
and and Mindy was certainly there too.
38:35
But Mindy had a bunch of projects and so she was
38:38
stretched thin between them. So that was a lot, you know,
38:41
that was sort of much more on my shoulders.
38:45
And this is really shared equally between the three of us.
38:50
And so, you know, it's just incredibly humane.
38:56
And so I feel like that has been just a real boon for us because
39:04
we we can get everything done and do a good job and then also
39:10
do a good job in our personal lives.
39:13
It's, I feel like, you know, it's gonna be hard to go back to
39:19
being a solo showrunner after this.
39:23
Yeah, it sounds like it's really like a dream come true.
39:29
It's like the. Three, it really is.
39:31
And sometimes when you have too many cooks in the kitchen, you
39:34
know, it can be tense. But I think like Tina and Tracy
39:38
and I, even when we disagree, we really understand and trust the
39:43
other one's opinions. And somebody will somebody's
39:47
opinion will inadvertently went out.
39:49
But there's we are very much like a team and a unit and we
39:56
just want the show to be as good as it can be.
39:59
And I I think we all really trust each other.
40:03
Well, the show is amazing so you guys are doing great.
40:06
In case you needed validation from me, I appreciate it.
40:12
But. OK, so.
40:14
And never have I ever started in 2020.
40:18
The year. Yeah.
40:22
And then your son is 6 now. So were you pregnant when you
40:28
started it or what's the timeline?
40:31
I can't, Yeah. I like, yeah, I gave birth to my
40:36
two first children in the same year.
40:40
I, I was pregnant, yeah, for the whole first season and then we
40:48
wrapped and then I, I was in post when I had him.
40:53
So we were like, I think he was born November 15th and I think
40:57
we ended post somewhere in October.
41:00
So he was born pretty shortly or not post.
41:03
We ended filming somewhere in October and started post then
41:09
because I remember I was like, in the post offices and I had
41:14
to, like, check my blood pressure because I had to make
41:17
sure that I wasn't, it wasn't too high.
41:21
But yeah, so, so. So that was really why it was
41:27
wild. It was wild to have a baby on my
41:29
first show in the first year of my first show.
41:32
Yeah. And then the pandemic happened.
41:34
Yeah, yeah, a little, little little thing.
41:38
But was that actually OK? So obviously the pandemic is a
41:41
horrible thing, but was it actually a little bit nice that
41:46
you or did you like take that break and was it nice to be able
41:51
to like kind of the world shut down and you and you had a baby
41:57
How? Well, it was.
41:58
Did you did you take a break at all?
42:00
I did take a break after we finished post and, and
42:06
everything. I mean, our show came out really
42:12
a few weeks into the pandemic, like it came out in the middle
42:15
of April of 2020 and it was a massive hit because nobody was
42:23
going anywhere. We were like, they're like the
42:26
numbers are huge. And we were like, OK, but you
42:29
know, it doesn't feel that good because they didn't have
42:33
anything else to do. But because it was a big hit,
42:39
they were like, let's get season 2 going.
42:41
And so, you know, the, I think in some ways it was helpful
42:48
because we did season 2 over Zoom and I was like, you know,
42:55
breastfeeding and pumping and stuff.
42:57
And so I was able to kind of do that on Zoom.
43:01
You know, we would like take a lunch break and I would like
43:04
pump and then like come back and, you know, and then
43:07
occasionally the baby could come like sit with me and you know,
43:11
that was nice. I was sort of in the vicinity of
43:15
the baby. I didn't like leave to go to
43:17
work and come back. And so that was in many ways,
43:22
like helpful, I think. But I will say, and we were kind
43:28
of one of the first, the first shows to combat filming during
43:32
the pandemic, like and it was intense.
43:35
I think we started filming again and either maybe it was October
43:40
of 2020. So we were like one of the
43:44
earlier people out and it was very nerve wracking.
43:49
But there was also a part of me that was like, I'm so happy to
43:54
be out of the house. Like, I just need to go to work
43:58
and feel like a normal version of myself.
44:01
As normal as you can be if you're wearing like a face
44:03
shield and a mask and you have to stay like 6 feet apart from
44:08
my brain. But I did, it was in many ways,
44:11
like I was like, you know, having a newborn and then not
44:16
being able to leave the house in some ways is great, but in other
44:19
ways you're like, it's, it's really, it's tough.
44:23
Yeah, 'cause it's already so isolating, like, yeah.
44:27
And as a single mom too, it's like you can't see anyone.
44:31
You're kind of trapped in your house with only your baby.
44:33
And I had this wonderful nanny who I still have.
44:37
And I was just like, we can't be separated from each other.
44:40
You have to come over. And she and she really was like
44:45
my only companion through the through the whole pandemic until
44:51
people started kind of venturing out again.
44:54
Sure. Did you did your like ambitions
45:00
shift at all once once you became a mom?
45:04
Obviously you would I mean, or did like your idea of success or
45:14
working. Did anything shift for you once
45:17
you became a mom or were you like same same same workload,
45:23
same things and then just adding on a baby?
45:28
You know, I don't think my ambition changed.
45:35
I think I like, still like, love what I do and I still have like,
45:41
you know, things I want to make and stuff that like, you know,
45:44
goals for myself. Like, and even more so, you
45:47
know, you have this little person and you want them to see
45:50
you as a person with goals and ambitions and who, you know, has
45:56
talents and believes in herself and, and does stuff, you know, I
45:59
want him to see that. I will say, like the level of
46:06
perfectionism I used to feel has like kind of dribbled away.
46:12
It's like you. I'm not gonna work until 11:00
46:16
PM trying to like, you know, beat a joke until it's dead.
46:21
You know, like I, I like, I am like, you know, at, at the end
46:27
of the day at a normal work daytime, I'm like, we did, you
46:31
know, we did a good job. It's time to like go home.
46:35
And I will say with that, that means like less screwing around
46:41
at work. You know, there's a the the
46:45
shows that I've been on where like not a lot of people have
46:49
kids. It's like you just like can
46:54
waste so much time. There's so many like treats,
46:57
like you play games, like you watch videos, you do weird.
47:02
You know, there's so much like horsing around and I know that's
47:05
good for morale, but it's like I am, I think there's like, and
47:10
like people take long walks and long lunches.
47:13
Like there's just like this kind of like the the day can like
47:17
dribble out because people are, you know, 32 and don't have
47:23
anywhere to go and like, kind of can like sleep in the next day,
47:28
you know, And it's like focused like, yeah.
47:32
And it's like, so now it's like, you know, we like, we actually
47:37
are on Zoom for The Four Seasons because Tina lives in New York.
47:41
But we like start work at 10 and we might have like 20 minutes or
47:47
something of sort of just like what we call host chat where we
47:52
sort of just like shoot the shit.
47:54
But then it's like we just work. We really work.
47:57
We take like an A sharp hour lunch break and then we work.
48:01
And like, then it's like the end of the day, we go home and we
48:06
like go and do our things. But we got a lot done.
48:10
So yeah, it's a little bit prioritizing and being more
48:13
efficient and like, not, you know, not trying to kill
48:19
something until it's perfect. Yeah, what is your what is just
48:23
like a showrunner like a regular day look like for you.
48:30
I'm sure it's I assume it's a little bit different now that I
48:34
I6 he's probably I assume he's in school.
48:38
Yeah, but how does that look for you?
48:42
And now I know you said you had you still have a nanny, but
48:47
yeah, what is just like an average day look like for you or
48:52
are there any average days? Yeah, I mean, I think so.
48:55
You know, like, I think we get up around 6:30 and in the
49:02
morning. I mean, I, you know, make his
49:04
lunch, get him dressed, do all the morning stuff that you would
49:07
do. We're out the door between 7:30
49:11
and 7:45 and I take him to school and then I come back and
49:17
I try to do like on a good day, like some kind of exercise, like
49:22
try to go to on like a walk or do like, you know, a nice
49:25
gentle, A gentle Peloton, like one of the one of the like chill
49:30
rides. That's not too hard.
49:33
You know, any of these hardcore workouts that I do work usually
49:38
starts around 10:00 and we are mostly like like rewriting a
49:46
script or, you know, brainstorming ideas of the next
49:51
episode and, and like depends what we're working on that day.
49:59
And then that we usually wrap between 5:00 and 6:00.
50:04
And then my son usually has like an after school activity, like a
50:10
soccer or a yeah swim lesson or whatever.
50:13
Or he just goes to the park with my nanny and then they come home
50:17
around this time that I and work.
50:21
And then we have dinner together.
50:23
And then you know, he takes bath, my nanny leaves and then I
50:30
get him ready for bed and he probably goes to sleep at like
50:34
9. And then I watch like 1 program.
50:38
I watch like 1 episode of something for myself and then I
50:43
go to sleep. Well, now I have to ask, what
50:46
are you watching? What's your for the moment?
50:51
You know, I'm, I love the pit. I really love it.
50:56
I'm I'm like and I'm also watching traders, which I also
51:00
love. I've not gotten on that
51:03
bandwagon yet. I haven't tried it yet.
51:04
I need to check it out though. Yeah, I know some people were
51:09
like, who cares? But I really like it.
51:11
And I think Alan Cumming is everything he's.
51:15
A treat, I'm sure. Yeah, yeah.
51:18
So those are the two right now. I love that.
51:23
Well, it seems like, yeah, that's seems like a great system
51:28
you got. I mean, you know, it's our
51:32
little day. Yeah, every day is different,
51:35
I'm sure, but do you ever feel 'cause like you said when you
51:41
first started at a 30 Rock, being like, I have to up my game
51:48
or a little bit of what's that term where it's like imposter
51:56
syndrome? Do you ever still feel that?
52:01
Because even like as a mom, I feel like sometimes I'm like,
52:06
does does she like, I cannot believe that I'm a mom?
52:10
Do you have that like as a showrunner and as a mom?
52:15
Or are you like I got this all together?
52:19
No, of course not. Yeah, I absolutely do.
52:22
And I think with both of them, with being a mom and a
52:26
Schroeder, there are days where you're like, I am crushing this.
52:29
I am incredible. And then the next day you're
52:31
like, I'm garbage. I don't know what I'm doing.
52:35
Why did I act like that? You know you, you know you, it's
52:40
always there's an ebb and flow in your level of confidence at
52:45
what you're doing. Yeah, I've never, I don't think
52:49
that ever goes away. I think that that's that is the
52:51
one thing being in Hollywood, I think that is the one thing that
52:57
I've really learned is you will meet like the most famous actor
53:02
who is just at the top of their game, like the has the, you
53:10
know, biggest billing on the biggest show and they are still
53:14
so insecure and have like such, they have imposter syndrome.
53:19
And you're like, no, you can't have imposter syndrome.
53:22
You're the one we all feel impostors around, you know, like
53:26
so. But it's just, it's everyone.
53:28
Everyone has it. Well, that's not that I like
53:32
that you have imposter syndrome, but it's nice that like it is
53:36
kind of a universal thing And like it's the same as as you get
53:40
older, realizing that like, oh, your parents are people and just
53:45
you're in your 40s doesn't mean you have life figured out.
53:48
Whereas like when you're growing up, you're like when when
53:52
somebody's 30, they are a grown up and know everything.
53:56
But it's interesting though, hearing it because like it seems
54:00
pretty innate for actors to have that security, but it's night
54:05
and like it is it it makes it a little more not an even playing
54:16
field, but I guess so and even playing field where it's like,
54:18
OK, we're all we can all relate. We can all feel.
54:22
And I feel like it must be nice, like having, you know, Tracy and
54:29
Tina and other, you know, and people that are, you know, you
54:33
said you have a lot of parents in the writers room too.
54:36
And I feel like, do you think that that that helps give people
54:44
a little like common ground too? I feel like if you want to talk
54:50
about kids, it's kind of like, oh, we, we could go on forever.
54:54
I think, you know, the one thing I think that is universal is
54:57
when you have children, it really humbles you and you
55:01
become kind of or like all the pretense just drops.
55:07
Like there's no, you know, you just really quickly stop caring
55:13
about impressing people and you are.
55:16
And that that's sort of, I don't know, you know, when you when
55:20
you, when I moved to LA for the first time and I had been in New
55:24
York for a while, but when I moved out here, there is
55:27
something so fun about going to parties and stuff and everyone
55:31
being like, So what are you working on?
55:33
And like doing that sort of like LA chatter that's kind of like,
55:37
yeah, I've got a couple projects happening like that kind of
55:41
thing where it's just sort of like these like pissing contests
55:46
that are going on. There was something like fun
55:49
about that initially. And then it kind of wears on you
55:52
and and I think that like once you have kids, that's so
56:00
undignified and you don't want your child to see that gross
56:04
version of yourself. So you kind of are just all of a
56:08
sudden a much more reasonable person who's like, yeah, I got,
56:12
I got a couple of things I'm developing.
56:14
They're not going to really happen.
56:15
It's like proud. They're kind of garbage.
56:17
You know, you just are a lot more like really on the ground
56:22
with your feet on the ground. You just are a much more normal
56:26
person. And that has been nice in our
56:28
writers room because people are more open and vulnerable when
56:32
they are that way. And that helps with
56:35
storytelling. You know, you want people to be
56:39
able to like, identify and relate with your characters, and
56:43
your characters have to have vulnerabilities.
56:45
And so, you know, you want your writers to be able to express
56:49
the stuff they're going through. And having kids, I think just
56:52
like cracks everyone open. Yeah, I was just going to say,
56:56
or I was just going to ask if you think that that having a kid
57:00
has changed your writing and all.
57:03
And I think that kind of answers it a bit.
57:06
Yeah, it definitely has. I mean, I think I used to be
57:11
like a person, and I'm sure this came from insecurity too, but I
57:15
used to be a person who was like, who cares about the
57:18
sentimental part of the show? You want the jokes to be the
57:22
funniest and like, you know, and it's not even like necessarily
57:27
like I was coming up with the funniest jokes, but I wanted, I
57:30
was like, I want to be a part of that team, the cool team that
57:33
comes up with the funniest jokes and the, and it, and it was kind
57:39
of this tacit understanding that like the people who are good at
57:44
story are good at the sentimental or the emotional
57:47
part were just not funny and therefore not cool.
57:52
But as I've grown and matured and had to show run the story
57:58
part of writing is so incredibly hard.
58:01
That is really hard. The the jokes are hard.
58:04
And if you are not funny, then you just will never be able to
58:06
write good jokes. But the story stuff is like a
58:12
math problem, and I really think you have to be able to be in
58:16
touch with all the complicated emotions within yourself to
58:20
write something that's interesting to people.
58:24
So yeah, I definitely think having a child has helped me be
58:28
a better storyteller. Yeah.
58:33
Do you think that obviously as an outsider and like somebody
58:38
who's with seeing the great success that you've had and it
58:44
seems like, you know, from the outside, success can only make
58:49
things easier, but obviously you have more of a workload also.
58:54
So what what are things that the success brought you that made
58:59
it, that made life and being a mom easier?
59:04
And what are some things that actually made it harder, do you
59:08
think? No, that I mean, that makes
59:12
sense. I mean, what makes it easier is
59:14
if you're the boss, you can decide when you go home.
59:17
You know, you can decide when the day is done.
59:20
And sometimes that means you come home at the right time and
59:23
then after your child's asleep, you go back to work and you have
59:28
to do stuff late. But and what, you know, but what
59:33
makes it hard is, you know, I think there is this this tricky
59:40
stuff with, you know, if you are in charge and you're
59:43
responsible, then you really need to be there for a lot of
59:49
it. And, you know, like our show
59:51
doesn't shoot in Los Angeles. So the last couple years I've
59:57
taken my son out of school for a couple months to go and like, be
1:00:05
where we're shooting. And he's getting older now and I
1:00:09
just can't do that as much anymore.
1:00:11
So there's going to be a a certain amount of figuring out
1:00:14
like, how do I leave him? Like, who would I leave him
1:00:18
with? Like what, you know, that stuff
1:00:19
is really complicated. And like, am I going to fly back
1:00:23
and forth on the weekends? Like, what do I do there?
1:00:26
You are asked to like make more stuff if you are doing well.
1:00:31
And we're in such a tricky time in this industry right now that
1:00:34
it's like one thing is really not enough.
1:00:37
You got to like have other stuff in the pipeline.
1:00:39
You don't know when your one thing is going to kind of be
1:00:42
like, ah, your time is done. Or, you know, there's, there's
1:00:45
just, there's a little bit of it that where you're like, I have
1:00:48
to make a lot of things. My final question for you, well,
1:00:51
what advice would you give to someone in the industry who is
1:01:00
thinking of starting a family? What would you?
1:01:05
Do it. I mean, that's my main advice is
1:01:09
like, there's so many, it is so hard these days to like have
1:01:15
stability in this industry and there's so many caveats to that.
1:01:19
And so like, I don't want to be like, do it.
1:01:22
It doesn't matter if you have any money or insurance, you
1:01:25
know, like those things matter. But I will say if that's
1:01:30
something that you want, you have to do it because like it is
1:01:37
so important to like be able to be a parent if you want to be a
1:01:40
parent. And also like, you know, I just,
1:01:44
I know so many people who've like quote, UN quote missed the
1:01:47
window. So try to get organized, try to
1:01:51
figure out how to make it work if you can.
1:01:53
But it is like the IT is the greatest blessing in the world
1:01:56
if it's something you want. Yeah, I love that.
1:01:59
Yeah. And I feel like also, is there,
1:02:06
is there something you would be surprised like your younger self
1:02:11
would be surprised about your life now because.
1:02:17
Yeah, yeah, I think my my younger self would be very.
1:02:20
Surprised. And you're like, yes, I didn't.
1:02:26
I know. Well, I think I she would be
1:02:27
like, wait, what did you do? You had a baby with a gay man.
1:02:33
Really there's. So much amazing stuff that like,
1:02:37
I think, I mean, I, my, my hope is that the younger me who is
1:02:43
like more insecure and more unsure of herself, would be
1:02:48
proud that like I made all these choices for myself and that I
1:02:53
like become, you know, pretty self-sufficient and have this
1:02:59
great career and like have this beautiful son.
1:03:02
Like, I mean, I'm happier than I've like ever been.
1:03:06
And certainly some of that is about the work stuff, but a lot
1:03:10
of it is because of my son. Like I think I'm, I am.
1:03:14
I'm so happy I did what I did. Well this has been such a lovely
1:03:18
conversation and I really appreciate you taking the time
1:03:23
to chat with me. Thank you so much, Emily, it was
1:03:28
really nice talking to you. Thanks.
1:03:30
Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Mommy Wood.
1:03:35
Now, before you go, if Mommy Wood feels like a place you
1:03:37
belong, I want to invite you to join the Village, which is our
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join The Village on Patreon. The link to the Patreon is in
1:04:09
the show notes. I want to give a huge thank you
1:04:12
to my producer and good friend Cecilia for making Mommy Wood
1:04:16
what it is and to Edith Mudge for the Mommy Wood theme music.
1:04:21
As always, thank you for being a part of Mommy Wood.
1:04:25
Please come be a part of the village as well.
1:04:28
I hope to see you there. I need.
1:04:32
You to wait my flight.