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Single & Set Apart: From Singleness to Suddenly · For Such a Time as This

• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to another episode of Perfect Times This, a podcast about calling, timing, and trusting God in the season that you're actually in, not just the one you hope to be in.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: My name's Bethany and I'm your host.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: This season is our second season.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's called Single and Set Apart.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm talking to um Christian singles or people that were single kind of later in life but aren't single anymore.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um and I'm super excited for what you guys might learn in this season.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so let's just sit back, relax, and see what God might have for you in this episode.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: Hey guys, welcome back to another episode.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Today I'm joined by my friends Jessica and Austin.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: I am super excited to have you guys here.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: All right, so you guys are married.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but tell me about your journey with singleness, like before you met each other.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: Whoever wants to go first.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: You want to go first?
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_03: Do you?
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: So my journey with singleness was I really tried to control the situation.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's something that, you know, is a daily thing that I need to surrender and work on just continuously.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because it's just easy to try to want to be in control and not let God do his thing and God's way is always better.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: But it is hard to yeah, just give that to God.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: So my journey with singleness was just a lot of like me kind of going out there and just a lot of like advice that I kind of got in my singleness seasons, like, you gotta put yourself out there, you gotta do this, like you gotta go on dates if you want to meet somebody instead of just like giving it to God.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: So I kind of followed that a lot and just went on lots of dates, was in on the dating profiles, just constantly like just trying to control the situation.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um and when, you know, it wasn't within my control, like that's when I ended up meeting, you know, Austin.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: Beautiful.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: Austin, what about you?
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um without going into entirely too much detail, um I I have been single before I met Jessica for a lot of my life.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_02: Um I sort of grew up um wanting a relationship for a long time.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_02: Um and I was, you know, a lot like what Jessica said, like trying to be in control.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_02: Um I had my first relationship when I was like 18 years old.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_02: And that experience sort of became an idol in my life to where it made me want more and more of that.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_02: But the more and more I tried to chase a relationship with somebody, it was like God would put a roadblock in my way.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_02: Like, oh geez, like uh I I I wanted this so bad, and and there was a lot of disappointment that came out of that.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um so yeah, I mean that that would happen over and over and over again where I would chase somebody and God would say no.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_02: And then I would chase somebody else, and God would say no.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_02: And that and that just kept happening until I finally I got to the point where I was like, okay, God, like you know better than I do.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know, I can try and control this and and keep disappointing myself and keep um getting, you know, roadblocks and roadblocks and roadblocks, and and it was making me miserable.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_02: So um I I just decided like one day I was gonna to just give it give it up.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_02: Like I don't care anymore.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_02: Um and um I mean there were times where I kind of went back to like what I what I wanted again and and chased the the relationships and you know obviously they all always f failed miserably, right?
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_02: But um, you know, there was a time where I decided I'm ready to be married.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_02: And so I fasted and I prayed for like a year and a half consistently.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_02: And that was when God showed up.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_02: I I put all the relationships, all the wants to the side and said, God, your will.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I want.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: That's awesome.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: And how old were you guys when you got like when you met and then when you got married?
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I was I think 30.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: 32.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: 32.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: And you were 30?
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, I would have probably just turned 30.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_02: So this was 2023.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, three years ago.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_02: So 30.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_02: Oh.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Awesome.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: Did you, when you were like little, did you have this idea?
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm feeling as girls at least, we have this idea of like, oh, I want to be married when I'm like 25.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Was that like discouraging going through your 20s and like being like, God, when is it gonna happen?
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I would say it was discouraging and it was tough because you see, you know, how culture is, um, and everybody, all my friends kind of getting married, or like a lot of my friends getting married.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: So it was discouraging to like kind of see that and be like, well, why not me?
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: And why am I not there yet?
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_01: And just a lot of things in my life were just not how I, you know, would have planned it.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like I thought, you know, I was gonna be a teacher, ended up being a nurse, like just like, and just everything was kind of like just different than I expected.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like I thought, yeah, then I'd be a teacher with a family, like, but it's just, you know, God's plan is definitely different than what I expected it to be, but it's so much greater than what I expected to be too.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: So, and if it was, if I ended up in any of the relationships before, it just wouldn't have been the same as it is now.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, I definitely agree with that.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_02: Like what I what I had thought I was gonna like what my life was gonna be like when I was at 33, like I I never would have imagined I'd be here, to be honest with you.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: As Austin, as a guy growing up, do you have like in your do you have like a timeline in your head?
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I try not to think like I should be here at this particular point in my life.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_02: Um I I've grown up a Christian my entire life, like with the message drilled into my head that like God doesn't always take everybody to the same place.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_02: Um and especially not on the exact same timeline.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_02: Um and so I I've lived my life in a way where I feel like I would rather follow God's timeline for my life than my own.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: Um I mean, definitely there's those like messaging from culture, like you need to be married by this time, you need to be in a house by this.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_02: And um I I've spent a lot of time like trying to ignore that messaging, uh so to speak.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_02: Um and just and and just try and follow the voice of the word, because like really what those messagings are, it's like it's a distraction from where God wants to call you.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um so yeah.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: So you said you grew up in church, right?
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: Did you grow up in church, Jessica?
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I did.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: So was it like hard on your spirituality or your relationship with God going through your like whole 20s and feeling like discouraged?
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Were there times where you were like not trusting his timing or angry at him even?
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_03: Go ahead.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I feel like it was so something that I noticed with myself from looking back in my journals was I would be like, okay, God, I'm gonna trust your timing this time.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: And then I would just completely like go off on my own path.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: So I noticed that I did that a lot.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: I just would be like, okay, God, I'm sorry, I didn't listen to you.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: And it was just this like repeated cycle of like, I'm gonna trust you, but then go off and like, I'm gonna date who you want me to date, I'm gonna do like just just reading through these journals.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, wow, like it's just so many, just this repeated cycle of like, I'm gonna trust you, but then just doing my own thing.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: So I feel like that was kind of like the struggle with my relationship with God.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I just yeah, I feel like there was a little bit of like frustration, especially seeing like a lot of my Christian friends like married.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, well, why, why can't I have that?
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and then just feeling like there's just no one out there.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like there's just so many times that and my mom would even say, like, it's only like you only need one person, you know, like you just uh, yeah, like just trust that God has somebody for you.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: But I was just like, there's just nobody.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_01: I go to church, there's just nobody here.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm never gonna meet up.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: And my mom was like, Well, maybe you'll meet somebody in church, and I'm like, but there's nobody here, so it's just like it's hard to trust when you don't see.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: So the get comes back into like walking in faith, so and not, you know, what you see out there, like, because God can do anything.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he can.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_02: Um, yeah, just like in my spiritual walk, I uh I struggled a lot with this particular thing, um, being single.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_02: Uh was something that was a topic frequently of prayers.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_02: Um so I spent a lot of time talking to God about God, why am I saying and there was there's uh, you know, times where I was like, God, why have you abandoned me?
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_02: God, why, why, you know, I I allowed resentment to to come into the picture.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_02: And um I I I wanted to be where I wanted to be and not where the Lord wanted to be.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_02: And so it it it was a struggle for a long time for me.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_02: But once I was able to let it go and be content in my circumstances, you know, Paul says in uh Romans, I think, nine.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_02: Um, it's not Romans 9.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry, I'm terrible with check.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: I am too, so it's fine.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_02: You can just say God says in the Bible somewhere that uh he's learned the secret of being content in circumstances, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_02: And Paul was in way worse circumstances than I ever was.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_02: Like he was in prison, he was doned, he was beaten for his faith.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_02: And if Paul can be content in those circumstances, then I can be content in these circumstances.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_02: God obviously has a reason for me being in this situation.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_02: There's a reason he keeps roadblocking me, there's a reason that um he's drifting me away from these relationships.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_02: And um, I I just had to learn to let it go and trust him.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_02: And it's hard, it's not easy.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_02: You have to remind yourself every day that you can be content all the circumstances and God is going to get you through it.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_02: Like you cannot stop the will of God.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_02: If it is within his will, right, it will happen.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_02: Um, we just have to let him do his job.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_02: And step back and say, I can't, I can't do this better than you can.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: Do you guys feel like there was I know there was pressure culturally, but do you ever feel like there was pressure within the church of like, oh, everybody because I feel like a lot of Christians get married so young.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: So like everybody's like, Well, why aren't you married?
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: Or is that just pressure you put on yourselves?
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: I'd say it's more, it was more internal.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I feel like I was grateful.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like it was more of like the people in my at least one person that I remember was very big on like pushing me to trust God and not to control the situation.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: And so I just looking back, wish I would have listened to her because it was like, get off that dating app.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_01: That's not what I feel like God's calling for you.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with dating apps.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's more of like for me personally, she was just like, I don't feel like that's what you should be doing right now.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and you know, didn't really listen, just kept saying like I want to control the situation for a while.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_01: And and it was not through, you know, dating app how we met.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_01: So it's just interesting that like she kind of, I don't know, like felt like God was, you know, telling her that like that's not what I should be doing right now.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, it's sometimes hard to like listen to that stuff.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, but it's not that you had someone that was saying it, even if you weren't listening, still having someone that's saying it was important.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_02: You can have somebody beat it into your head, but it's like eventually accept it.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like um, looking back, what do you think God was developing in both of you like before marriage?
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like what do you think was developing during your single season?
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: God.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_01: V space, I mean.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so about a year I'd say before I met Austin, I felt like God was, or at least I I don't know if it was God or if I, because I wanted this, let me prepare myself more.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_01: And it was just crazy timing because I felt like God led me to possibly, or me wanting to be ready for marriage, one of the two, um, to like a podcast that was about dating.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_01: So just like learning as much as I could about relationships and how to be a good spouse and like preparing myself for that season.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_01: And it was about a year later I met him.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_01: So it was just a lot of like me working on myself because I wanted this.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, was like, I think I feel like very helpful in our marriage now.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: Cause I feel like I don't know, I just learned so much about like being a good spouse and being prepared for that season that if I didn't have that kind of like year to prepare, I don't know, yeah, marriage would be the way that it is today.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: What about you?
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_02: Um yeah, there was definitely a lot of developments that the Lord had to do in my life um in order for me to get to the point where I could um be a good husband.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so a lot of the time I didn't realize it at the time, and I wish I had realized it now earlier, but um God was God was changing my heart.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_02: And he was peeling away layers of sin in my life that um that would have prevented me from being the husband that I'm called to be.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um during that like fasting time that I was talking about, um he just revealed so many things to me that he's like, you gotta cut that out of your life.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_02: You gotta cut that out.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_02: Um there's you know, you you have the sin and it's gonna it's gonna keep you from your wife if that if you don't address it right now.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and so a lot of that fasting time was just uh it was uncomfortable, but it was, but it was a lot of conviction um from the Holy Spirit of God showing me like I need to build you into the husband that you need to be.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_02: Um you can't do this by yourself, like you've been trying to do.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_02: Um and it took me until then to realize why he kept putting the roadblocks in the way.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_02: And it was that I wasn't ready.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah and because I was chasing the selfishness of what I wanted and instead of what the Lord wanted.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I had a couple of short relationships in my life, and all of them were lust, a lot of them were selfishness, a lot of them were, you know, other things, what I selfishly wanted, and it wasn't the image of the relationship that God once wanted for for me and Jessica.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um and you kind of have to get there before he before you get it.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, exactly.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_02: You need to be hit over hit over the head with a two by four, uh you know, when you actually get there.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_02: And you go, I regret all this time that I wasted trying to do this myself.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: So for sure.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: Do you um so I I know the answer to this question is yes, but like I'd like you guys to dive deeper into it.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: Do you think like during your singleness your relationship with God like got a lot deeper because you had a lot of intentional time with him?
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: I use for I feel like so with me, um, I grew up in the church.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but we we met in Kenya and something happened in Kenya where I feel like I encountered God there that I feel like that's what changed my relationship with God because it was just it was difficult for me to like read the Bible.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_01: I did Bible studies, didn't want to do it.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_01: And then after Kenya, after having that like genuine encounter, I feel like now I want to read the Bible all the time.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_01: I want to do my Bible study, I want to like do these things and I want to do things for the Lord versus like before having that encounter, it was kind of more out of obligation.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm going to church because I feel like I should.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_01: I'm doing Bible study because I feel like that's what I'm supposed to do.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'm reading my Bible because more out of obligation, not out of like genuine love for Jesus.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_02: Um, yeah, I mean I I already spoke to it a little bit, but yeah, there was there was a ton of spiritual development that I did all throughout my singleness.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it was a long time, so I had a lot of time to kind of think about those types of things, but I I'll admit that a lot of times I didn't actually put in the effort.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_02: And it wasn't until I decided to put a hundred percent into that study and that relationship with God and that making sure that you know I'm not getting distracted by these other things that you know he spoke into my life, you know, I wasn't listening.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he he was speaking the whole time.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_02: I was too preoccupied to listen.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_02: And so um there was there's a lot of growth that had to happen in that time.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_02: Um and he made a happen.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_02: Go figure, dress the he nice what he says he's gonna do.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_02: So for sure, like, yeah, there there was there was a lot of a lot of hurt and stuff that that had to that had to go.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: Let's dive into you guys' story together a little bit more.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me about how you met.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'll give that one to you.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's a good story.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_02: So um this is this is a really good story because we literally have it documented as it was happening.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_02: Oh and um we we didn't realize it, but God did, honestly.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, there was a reason that it was written down.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so you know, go back a year before we met.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_02: Um our church was doing this thing called 26 days of program fasting.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_02: Um 26.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I made a decision that I was going to to do the 20s, 26 days, whatever however many days it is.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um were you guys at the same church?
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, but we a different oh, and I sometimes went to his campus, but um my main campus was a different one.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_02: That's and we didn't know each other at this point.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_02: No, no.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_02: You're fine, you're fine.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't context.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I decided I was gonna do this 26 days, and by the end of the 26 days, I was like, oh my gosh, God, you've done so much in 26 days.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_02: What can you do if I actually put a year into this?
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and not not fasting food necessarily.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_02: You know, there were other things that I was fasting from.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um, some of it was I was fasting meals, but um I decided after the 26 days that I was gonna keep going and I was gonna put in the same effort that I was putting in those 26 days.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_02: And I consistently prayed about God, I I feel like I want to be married now.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_02: This is what I desire, but I I don't want it my way anymore.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want to be selfish anymore.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not chasing this because of lust anymore.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not chasing this because you know, I just want to look like the guy who's you know, right, right, got it all together.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I want to do this your way.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_02: And so I took the time to every day study the Bible pray for several hours a day and just try and get a picture of what it is that God wanted from me.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_02: His picture not mine.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_02: And all throughout this period, I there were distractions and I was like, God, I want to go this way.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_02: And he said, no, you need to wait.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_02: And and there's one song that kept coming on, and that is Wait on You by Mavericks.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_02: And every single time it came on without fail, every time I wanted to go my way.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_02: And I began to hate that song because I'm like, God, I want to do this my way.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_02: But I listened and I was like, you know what?
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna wait on you.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do it your way.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_02: And um fast forward a year, um, I'm on this work trip that I um had in Virginia Beach, and it just came to my mind I need to pray and I need to write it down.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um and this was like literally the week before I was going to Kenya.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_02: I felt I felt a long time ago and I didn't know why, that I needed to go to Kenya with my church.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_02: I had a lot of friends who had gone on this Kenya trip and they're like, you need to go.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_02: So I prayed about it and I signed up and almost backed out several times.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_02: But back to um this Virginia Beach thing, I I had to pray and I had to write it down.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_02: And I just prayed for whoever my wife was gonna be to for God to prepare her for marriage, for God to make me the man that he wanted me to be.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_02: And we have documentation of this prayer.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_02: Um and for God to reveal her to me in his time.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I fast forward to going on the Kenya trip.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I'm not expecting anything.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_02: I I just I just want God to use me.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_02: Um and you know, the Kenya trip came and went.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I had talked to you know a lot of the people on the trip, and you know, I I just felt like it was a good trip, you know, nothing nothing special.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_02: Um couple weeks go by.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_02: I get this text message from none other than the beautiful Jessica Path at the time.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_02: Um and she's asking me to go to coffee, and I'm like, obviously hesitant because I'm like, God, I don't want to go my way.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_00: Right, yes.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_02: Show me it's if this is the right thing.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, if this is what you have for me.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_02: And I'll be honest, I was like, yeah, maybe, maybe sometime.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_02: And then a week goes by and I get this text.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_02: So Monday?
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, that's yeah.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, oh my god, what if I what if I go on one date and if this is not for me, like show me, show me if if this is not the relationship that you have for me.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_02: So you go on one date, and I'm like, okay, she's very beautiful, she's very intelligent, she is, you know, maybe I'll go on a second date, maybe.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_02: Um and I I obviously prayed about it, went on a second date.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_02: Went on a third date, and I feel like as we were dating, God just melted away all the preconceived ideas that I had about who Jessica was.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I had this absolutely wrong, I'll admit, picture in my head of who I thought she would be.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, we had talked a little bit on the mission trip, didn't really, didn't really get a full picture of that, but yeah, he just took away all of all of the doubts that I had, and I was like, okay, this is scary now.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_02: Um so I mean, that's really how we got to to meet and like date.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_02: And am I missing anything important?
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, anything different on your yeah, you you need to tell your side, Kyle.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_02: I'm about I'm about a story dog.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_02: I've been wrong.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_01: Well, so I so very similar.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um, nothing wrong that he said about the story, very true stuff.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_01: But from my end, I also felt like I was supposed to go to Kenya and didn't know why.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I was living before I met him a little while in Trottesville, Virginia, loved it there, but I felt like God was calling me back.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it was like the COVID time.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, I just don't feel like this is where I'm supposed to be anymore.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I met a friend that um in my Bible study that went to Kenya, was still in contact with people over there.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_01: We were in the car one day, and she's just like, let's call like my friend from Kenya, or I have to call my friend from Kenya.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_01: So we're in a conversation with somebody over there, and she's like, You should go on this trip.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_01: So when God called me back to Maryland, the whole time I was like, I want to go back to Virginia, I want to go back to Virginia.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_01: I loved it down there.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_01: I'm really happy with my community.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I felt like I was supposed to go to Kenya.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was in the woods with one of my friends.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like, we love doing like little hikes and stuff.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_01: So we were in the woods and I was just like, I don't know what to do.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_01: And she's like, What do you feel like God's like calling you to do?
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I just started crying.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, I feel like I'm supposed to stay here and still kind of wrestling with that.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um, talk to somebody else.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_01: I was also in that same small group.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I was just like, I feel called to go to Kenya.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_01: There's like a trip down there, so I feel like I don't know what to do because if God's calling you to go to Kenya, she's like, Well, why don't you go to the trip with our church in the fall?
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Okay, so I just made that decision to go.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I was actually dating someone at the time, not in a relationship, but just kind of talking to someone when I went to Kenya.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_01: And the fun part about the one of my favorite parts of the story was I got a voice prayer.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_01: My friend said, I want to pray for you before you go.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_01: So, and I didn't even know this till I saw pictures later.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: He was right in front of me when I was listening to the voice prayer.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_01: And my friend said, I think you're gonna meet your husband on this trip.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, What?
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_01: I'm talking to someone, great guy, Christian guy, was just like really kind of confused by it.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, I had a conversation with him and I was like, Oh, maybe, maybe, maybe, right?
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_01: And then um, things didn't end up obviously working out with that person because both our ends are like on paper, this relationship's great, but we feel like this isn't right, like this isn't, we're not supposed to be together.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_01: So we ended up splitting up.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_01: Me and him started dating, and yeah, the rest is history.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_00: Hey you guys, it's me again.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_00: Don't worry, I'll be right back with our guests.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: I just wanted to take a moment and say thank you so much for spending time with us today.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you're enjoying the episode so far.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_00: Let's sit and think about what might have been said that can relate to your life today.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're enjoying it, make sure you like, subscribe, follow, comment, all the things you can find us on YouTube for such a time as this with Bethany Garner, or you can find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_00: All right, let's get back to them.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, what do you think made like this relationship feel like safe or peaceful or aligned like compared to different relationships that you had been in?
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_01: I'd say like our relationships with God, like where they were kind of when we got together, were strong.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_01: So it's just um, and just having that like respect for each other um just creates like a peaceful, safe environment if we're respectful and care about each other and put each other first.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like I feel like my advice for anybody that's like in a relationship is to like put that other person, like not go into it.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what can I get?
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like in relationships before I was always wanting to be spoiled, and and he does spoil me.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_01: I just kind of expected that, like oh, spoil me.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_01: But then, you know, God kind of changing me in the sense that like I want to serve this person, and we're kind of like our fights are like, I want to take the dog out.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_01: Nope.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's more of like we are like fighting to serve each other, and I feel like then we don't run into those issues of like, oh, you're not doing enough, you're not doing that because we're both wanting to serve Angelia.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_01: Aggressive.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_02: There's I won't go fully into it, but we we uh sometimes fight and push each other out of the wall.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_02: I'm nervous so like priority tell them.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_02: Like, uh I'm gonna get there first, I'm gonna do it first.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_01: That's cute.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_01: And it's fun, like that's fun to like, I don't know, just want to to like take care of each other.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, yeah, yeah.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_01: And we'll get each other's like plates, like I'm gonna make you, yeah.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like we just always like, and it really takes away that, like, oh, like, oh, I wish he did more.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I just don't even have that because we're both like wanting to serve each other.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_01: That's awesome, yeah.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so you guys kind of got engaged and then married fairly quickly after meeting, right?
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_00: So tell me about that part.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_02: Ten months.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_02: 10 months.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_00: You were married within 10 months?
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_00: 10 months.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, okay.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um, we we actually didn't reveal that we were like literally in a relationship until a little while after we started.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_02: So um it may have looked shorter, but anyway.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um even 10 months is short in comparison to like what other people have done.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_00: So what made you guys know like this is it and you were ready?
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_01: So for me, I just well, my friend kind of said, I think you're gonna meet your husband.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_01: So I already kind of had that in my mind that like this could be a possibility when I kind of started to like, I guess, already think that.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but just kind of like I know they say, you know, you know, and I they just did like it was and it was just this relationship was just different than all of the relationships I had before, and like that relationship that ended before, or not relationship, but the person I was talking to, it just like I just knew that that wasn't it, and this one I just knew.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I know people do say, if you know, you know.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_02: And I always thought that was so cheesy and like a huge cliche, but like the reality is like you if God puts in front of you this person, and you know that that's the person that you're gonna spend the rest of your life with, are you gonna sit there and wait forever?
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_02: Right or are you gonna go after what God put in front of you?
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I wasn't going to wait forever for that to happen.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_02: Like I wanted to make her my wife like six months into the relationship, and you know, not long after that, we we kind of were in the place where we could um do that.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_02: Um, we had to spend a couple months of planning to like, you know, okay, well, you know, if we get married, what what are we gonna do in this situation?
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_02: What are we gonna do in that situation, you know?
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_02: Like, yeah.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_00: So did you do all that kind of planning before you got engaged?
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we did a lot of literally like the a lot of it the week before we actually got engaged.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_01: That's a fun story too, because we thought that we were gonna get married in November.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_01: We actually had like a venue picked out and booked, and his um his brother was in town, and we were just like, you know, brother's a missionary in the Czech Republic.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_01: So okay, okay, and share so and he he's only him and um my sister-in-law, they're only here, you know, every couple years.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_01: So we were just like, we were just talking.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_01: We're like, why don't we just get married, you know, while they're here?
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_02: And God just like just so happened.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_01: And just everything, everybody that we wanted there, you know, was able to make it.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_01: My friend was uh I used to do wedding photography.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_01: She does, um, she used to do wedding photography, was able to photograph the wedding.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um, everything just kind of like, and like peanut um peonies are my favorite flower.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_01: And like it was like the la, like I was just like, because it was such a last-minute thing, I was like, can you get my bouquet and pick it out for me?
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_01: I want peonies.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_01: And he was actually the one that like got my boot, um, eye bouquet.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_01: And it was like the last week that like peonies were in season.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_01: It was supposed to rain, it didn't, like everything just kind of and ended up getting married by my youth pastor growing up and his church now, and just everything just like went exactly how I would want it to go.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_01: It was just perfect.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, sir.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_02: God's plan was better than ours because originally for sure.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_02: Originally, we wanted to do our wedding our way.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_02: And I made a spreadsheet of how much it was gonna cost us, and it was gonna be like at least$20,000, and that's with all of the cheapest things.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_02: And I just got kind of a conviction of like this is so much money.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_02: Why do you need an extravagant wedding?
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_02: You don't like that's just that's just a a selfish thing that you want.
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_02: And after I gave all that up and I was like, okay, God, I'm not gonna do this my way, like Jessica doesn't want that.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_02: Um it just it just happened perfectly.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_02: Like, literally it's supposed to rain the day of our wedding, and it was uh like we were supposed to do pictures outdoors, and we had sunshine, perfect sunshine.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_02: It was the last week that peonies were like that I would have been able to get peonies.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_02: Like everything just fell into place once we trust God and not not been in our way.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_00: So you guys, when did you end up getting married?
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_01: What month?
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_01: In July.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_01: So July 13th.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_01: So our anniversary two years is in a couple weeks.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_00: Well, yeah, once this episode airs, it'll have like just passed.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, happy anniversary to you guys.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, what like qualities in a spouse have you realized since you've been married are more important than you thought would be?
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_01: Um I I dated a lot of non-Christians, I guess, before um him.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I did date Christians as well, but just that um that face, like I think is like the number one thing like that I just value in our relationship because we are now on mission together versus if I would have ended up with somebody that wasn't, it would be more me, you know, doing my own thing.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_01: And it just wouldn't we wouldn't have been aligned and yeah, and just being able to, and it's just such a blessing to be able to like worship together in church and you know, serve together and do all of the things and just like it's just such a blessing.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like that's the the number one thing.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and it's just been amazing, and then just being able to grow together.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like he like we just hold each other, like have somebody to hold each other accountable to is uh I feel like another quality that I feel like I didn't specifically like look for when I was dating, but it's been such a like powerful thing because we've been able to grow because we're not afraid to be like to say what you know what we need to say.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, praying together too is is is a unique experience.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_02: Like uh I never pictured myself praying with my wife, but I knew going into marriage that like I need to I need to do like make sure that we do this, yeah, and that we're reading scripture together and that we're doing our devotionals and um every every way that we grow, we need to do it together.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and and the accountability thing is big because sometimes I need to be called out on something.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_02: And like, you know, the the the Holy Spirit will convict me, I'll be like, I don't want to hear it.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_02: And then she'll say I'm okay.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 39:16
  unknown: Yeah.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_00: Do you think there's things that you thought before marriage were like, oh, this is super important, I need this, and now that you're married, you're like, that wasn't even important.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I feel like, yes, like the superficial stuff.
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I feel like when I was younger, like I'll give an example, like a car thing, oh, he has a nice car.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_01: That may have been attracting to me, but by the point that we got married, he had a nice car, and I was like, that's like kind of a turnoff.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_01: I like small his car, and I was saying, oh boy, it's one of the most like I just misjudged that was, you know, he said that like he kind of went into it for like different things, but that was something that, like, yeah, at the point in my 30s now, you know, was something that is definitely like changed.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I would maybe be impressed by that.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_01: And by 30s, I'm like, that's not something that yeah, I care about anymore.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, uh, yeah.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_02: I had a Toyota Super, by the way.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_02: And I love that car, but it was the dumbest purchase I ever marked.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and honestly, I did it to impress people, and I don't like that.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_02: That was why I did it.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_02: But um, obviously it had the opposite effect.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_02: And I felt like it at a certain point God convicted me to sell it, and I was like, no.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_02: And then we got married, and I'm like, I'm going to sell this car now because I'm, you know.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_00: So um do you think anything else, Austin, that you can think of that you were like went into the before you got married, were like, that's really important.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_02: And then Yeah, yeah.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_02: The definitely, definitely the materialistic part, because you know, I grew up, at least when I was younger, with a very materialistic kind of um background.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_02: Um, not to say that I myself was materialistic, I was in certain ways.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um but you know, you always picture yourself with like, oh, the I'm gonna have a big house and I'm gonna have this and I'm gonna have that.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_02: But it's not about any of that at all.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_02: Like the Bible says life does not consist of an abundance of possessions.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_02: So part of what God had to work on was that like materialism too.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like throughout our relationship, he kind of brought those sorts of things to my attention, you know, stuff a big wedding and the car and you know, all that stuff.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_02: So um he's still working on that area of my life, to be perfectly honest with you.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but you know, it's always uh it's a journey, it's not a always overnight.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_02: And sometimes I need someone like my wife to point it out to me because you don't always see all the flaws that you have in yourself.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it's hard, it's hard to see that in yourself.
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and it's super helpful for growth when you know he says something and it's not always what you want to hear to go.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, oh, that hurt, but if I didn't know that, like I can't I couldn't change it if I didn't know.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, how important do you guys think friendship is in marriage?
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_00: So important.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like we are always laughing.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like we're um we're staying with my parents right now because we're in the process of getting looking for a house.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_01: My mom's just like, you guys are just always laughing.
• 42:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like, ignore this to like buy other people or just in other places, like, oh, they're so cute because they're always laughing.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_01: So I feel like like I just and I always want to be around him.
• 42:51
  SPEAKER_01: It's not like, oh, I'd rather hang out with my friends.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_01: No, I would obviously want to see my friends, but I feel like I always want to hang out with my husband.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, I just feel like that's that's so important because this is somebody that you're gonna be spending the majority of your time with.
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_01: Do you want to be with somebody that you're not friends with?
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, right.
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_02: Spending the rest of your life with someone you really have to make like a really good decision.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_02: Uh and obviously God's gonna be the one that may ultimately makes the decision.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but you you have to be discerning about who you marry.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_02: Because you could spend the rest of your life with somebody you don't even like.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_02: And I mean, I know that sounds weird to say, but No, that's so true.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_02: Like you don't want to be in a forever relationship with your worst enemy.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_02: You as as far as it depends on you, should be best friends with whoever you.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_02: You spend the rest of your life with because it's going to be a really hard road if you don't.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, we were talking kind of about this in the car.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_02: It's like if you're at odds with each other your entire life, like it's really hard to work towards the same goal.
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, like our goal in marriage is to preach the gospel and to make sure that everybody knows Jesus and house divided can't stand.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_02: You have to be in the same mindset, the same mission, or else it's not gonna work.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_00: That's good.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, what would you guys say to someone in their late 20s or early 30s who's feeling like discouraged by the fact that they're still single?
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um, focus on God.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like don't make that your, don't make that an eyel.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_01: Don't make that your focus.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_01: Like focus on and being the person that you would want to be, what want to have as a spouse, I think is important too, is like that preparation phase and like working on yourself, if that's if that's like going to therapy, like whatever kind of healing that you need to do before you get into that marriage, I feel like would be so helpful for that person instead of oh, and just not coveting marriage.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_01: Like I feel like then it's so easy to like want what other people have, but then you're gonna be discontent, you're gonna have that envy, and that's going to um also like pull away from your relationship with Jesus too, if you're focused on what you don't have.
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_02: Um I would say that, and this is just my earth, my perspective of um of relationships are they are a worldly thing that we should not always make our main focus.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_02: Jesus is the focus.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_02: No other person is going to make you righteous before God.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_02: Focusing on Jesus is the goal.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_02: You know.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_02: Let me just say Romans, I'm sorry, Paul, in I don't I don't know the book.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_02: I'm sorry.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_02: It's right.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um he says to some people, like, I I wish that you would not pursue marriage because it's a distraction from God.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_02: And for some people it is.
• 46:32
  SPEAKER_02: You know, um, not everybody is called to a relationship.
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_02: Like, eternity is the goal.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_02: Um, is as much as people probably don't want to hear this, like God, God needs to be the main focus because you can chase relationships and miss eternity.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_02: Eternity is what's important.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_02: We're not going to be married in the next life.
• 46:58
  SPEAKER_02: I'm sorry to say, like the Bible tells us, yeah, we will neither be married nor given in marriage.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_02: It's such a worldly thing that we focus on.
• 47:07
  SPEAKER_02: But eternity is where our focus should be.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_02: God should be the main thing that we focus on.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_02: And if it is his will to put somebody in your life, no one can stop him.
• 47:18
  SPEAKER_02: He will.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, Austin out here convicting me.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_00: So always.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_00: All right, last question um for both of you.
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_00: If you could sit across from your younger self today, what would you tell them?
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_01: To give it to God.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_01: Stop trying to control the situation and just trust that like God's plan is better.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_01: Cause I just, but if people were trying to tell me that and I just didn't listen, and there's so much hurt that I experienced that I like may have not, and God's gonna, I believe God's gonna use that hurt and pain for his good.
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but you know, I wouldn't have had to experience some of this pain and hurt and challenges now because of the choices that I made, if I would have just trusted that God at it.
• 48:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_02: I'd like to say something, but I don't think my younger self would have listened.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_02: I'd said perfectly honest with you.
• 48:19
  SPEAKER_02: Like I I could say anything and I would have just dismissed it, you know, even if it was coming from this older self-from from yourself, yes, even from my older self.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_02: I was that I was that hard-headed.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um but you know, I I would have similar advice to Jessica, like God is the focus.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I wouldn't have listened, but right.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_00: Oh good.
• 48:46
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, thank you guys so much.
• 48:47
  SPEAKER_00: This was so good.
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_00: I really appreciate you guys coming on.
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_00: Of course.
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you guys so much for spending time with us today.
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_00: I really loved having you here.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_00: If you liked this episode, make sure you share it with someone you know.
• 49:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'd also love if you guys would comment any questions you might have that we can answer on future episodes.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_00: Remember that each one of you was born for such a time as this.
• 49:10
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.