Latest / CEO Kingdom Seekers / Ep 31: Let God Scan the Places You’ve Been Trying to Heal Yourself with Vanesa Alcantara (Psalm 139:23-24)

Transcript

Ep 31: Let God Scan the Places You’ve Been Trying to Heal Yourself with Vanesa Alcantara (Psalm 139:23-24) · CEO Kingdom Seekers

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to this week's episode.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Now, before we jump into today's conversation, I want to take a moment to introduce you to my amazing guest, Vanessa Alcantara.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: She is an author, a speaker, and the founder of SoulScan, which is a ministry that helps women deal, heal, and grow through biblical truth and inner healing.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: Can you see why I was excited?
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: Vanessa and I actually met at a Woman of Good Work event here in Columbus.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: And from our very first conversation, I knew that there was something really special about the work that God had called her to.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: And right when I met her, I said, I would love to have you on the podcast.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: Our conversation honestly went somewhere that I wasn't expecting.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: In this episode, we end up talking about what happens when God allows us to slow down long enough to actually see what's happening beneath the surface.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: The wounds we've been medicating, the patterns we've normalized, the places that we've tried to heal ourselves, and even the ways that we start operating just ever so slightly outside of the gifts that God has graced us with.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: We ended up talking about suffering and surrender, pride, spiritual gifts, healing, and most importantly, what it looks like to stop treating the symptoms of our spiritual dis-ease and allow Jesus into the root cause of the problem.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Vanessa has this beautiful way of calling women toward transformation while also continually pointing them back to Jesus, the one who actually does the transforming.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I was so blessed by this conversation.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: I think you will be too.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, let's get into it.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: First of all, welcoming you to the show.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so glad to be here.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Seriously.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I wanted to just give everyone a little bit of backstory because you and I met in a fun way.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I've mentioned this Women of Good Work event now three times on the podcast.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're in Columbus and you're like, what is this woman of good work?
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: She keeps like you have to come to the next event.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll make sure it's linked down in the show notes.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: But we were wrapping up the event.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: It was so amazing.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: God was just he's everywhere, but like the spirit was so present in that room.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: And Renee, who invited me, I was standing and she's like, Vanessa, you two are supposed to talk to the turns.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, okay.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I think you and I ended up talking for 20 minutes.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I know that even our in our conversation, you were talking about just the season that you and your husband, your family have been going through, and also your work and the conferences you're doing.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: I started following you on Instagram since then.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, she is all over the place.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I'd love to hear more just about yeah, if you just want to tell the audience a little bit more about you and the work that you do.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that's not even the question.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's because I yes, it's the work that you're doing, but I feel like it's almost like the purpose that you're yeah living on.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: The one that you're like, I couldn't not run this if I tried.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that no, yeah.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like I've been on this track, on this racetrack for since I was 12, since a little girl, I remember I grew up in church and I went through a period of time where I did walk away from the Lord, but I knew from a very young age that I had a call over my life, that he wanted to use me to speak into the lives of women.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: Because even at 1213, I was legit counseling my little peers, like my friends at the playground during recess, praying over people.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: It must have been such a fun thing for your teachers to see.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: They're like, oh, Vanessa's at it again.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: With my little precious moments Bible.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I just felt such a strong call over my life.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: I remember actually was around 9-11.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: I remember sitting at a church service, and I was sitting in the front row and I felt the Holy Spirit tell me, I was looking up on the platform on the stage, and he said, One day you're gonna stand up on platforms and you're gonna speak what I tell you to speak to many women.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: And at that moment, at that time, I was thinking, Me, I am the shyest kid, even though I do tell people about Jesus and I love listening to people's problems, I am the shyest person ever to be put up there.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so years later, to see what God has done, it literally has been by his grace and through steps of obedience.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: There is no other way.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: But even before the obedience is surrender, continual surrendering to his will, to his way and dying to self so that he could be glorified.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: Because there's no time to waste.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: There are people around us every day that are suffering, that are in pain, that are bound, that are broken.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: Even the ones that have it all together, right?
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: The ones that are killing it in the workplace, that are doing all the things, that they're just following their track.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: But we all are in need of a savior.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: I don't care where you're at in the spectrum.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: We're all in need of a savior.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: And we are all in need of a reminder that we don't have to do this alone.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: And that we can go into the dark places of our souls and with the help of the Holy Spirit, deal with the stuff that's there so that we can heal and grow from it by his grace.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_01: And that's my work in the world.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like that's my purpose is to walk alongside people, step into their story, hear them out, and be God's mouthpiece to speak into the lives of the women that he puts before me.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: We have a primary motivation gifts assessment that we do.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I am listening to you talk, and I'm like, I can tell that God's gifted you by his grace with a lot of the seven gifts.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: And what I'm hearing come out is the motivator, the coach, the exhorter.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, look, you're gonna grow, you're gonna transform, and you're gonna like it.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna hate it, and you're also gonna like it, right?
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: And what I find interesting is that a lot of times the people who are called to that, they are shy.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: They're like, look, if it wasn't for the Holy Spirit, I would not be out here talking to any of these people.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'd be in my home.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'd be like, I can work a room, I can show up and be what you need.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: And also it brings you joy to help people transform.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: And also, I think that there's this misconception that every person who is called to that or graced with that gift is really extroverted, really bodily, always happy.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: I would love to hear a little more of your story too, because here's the thing that I have realized just on this podcast and also doing the work that I do is the gift that brings you the most intrinsic joy that God has graced you to do for others is often the one that you're like, God, but I can't do it for myself.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: And also people who are that motivator, coach, exhorter typically have very painful transformational stories.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's like, okay, when you stand in front of me and say, I can't because XYZ, okay, let's talk about my XYZ.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about these other people's XYZ.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: I will show you.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: I get it.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's valid.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: And also, yep.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: So what did your story look like on the way to standing on these stages?
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: There's so many ways that I can answer that.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: But the first part that comes to me right now is the one that I feel like I'm living more presently, which is with health issues that I've had.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: After I had COVID in 2021, 22, I developed post-COVID symptoms and long haul COVID, and it awoken lupus in my system and a bunch of autoimmune diseases.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: This is someone that is always on the go doing 20 million things, and my life came to a halt four years ago when I could not walk, I could not do for myself, I couldn't do for my children.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I really questioned the Lord because not only was my whole body in pain and my world was put to a halt, I felt like the purpose that He had for me had been put to a halt.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: I started questioning, like, okay, so all the things that you've told me in the past, like all the dreams, all the goals, all the things.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: So is that not happening?
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: So did you lie?
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_01: You're not a man that you should lie.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_01: How am I supposed to accomplish anything?
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: This is uh a bag of crap.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: How am I supposed to function and do for you, but do for my family as well, which is unto you, right?
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: So I grew even a little bit resentful towards the Lord.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: I was angry with him.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: People don't talk about the ugly, people don't talk about the times where you're like questioning God, doubting his sovereignty.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: I doubted him.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: I doubted that he would do anything with me.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I realized, and not even quickly, I realized with time and slowly that during that period he was drawing me to himself, that he was calling me deeper, that in my brokenness he was wanting to be glorified, but he was wanting to love me in that place because I'm so used to doing for him and feeling like, okay, if I do all these things, then he's gonna be happy with me and he he loves me because I didn't.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: He loves you in that broken place.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: He loves you because he created you, because you're you, and even in my broken state with my health.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: I needed to know the love of my father, that he was constant and that he was meeting me there in my darkest valley, even when I felt the most incompetent.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: So I had a similar health experience after COVID, but interestingly, I had COVID multiple times and that didn't have posts, but got a vaccine that's a fever of 104 for four straight days.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: And then after that, even now, a few times every year, we'll have these three to seven-day long just fevers.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: And when I talk about the amount of pain in my body, and the bottom of my heels are like, yes, I and my hips and on fire.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: And in November 2023 to February 2024, started having this autoimmune flare, brain fog, chronic fatigue, and the fevers were low grade, the pain was constant.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: And it was also happening at a time where before that I had really fallen away.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: And fallen away, it's interesting because I actually just went through all of my old journals in the the last 10 years.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: And in that time, right before all of that, I would talk to God several times a week or even every day.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: And then beginning of 2023, I'm like talking to him, I don't know, once a week.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: And then mid-2023, I'm not really talking to him at all.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: Or I'm talking to universe and I don't know, whatever you want to call that is not him.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: And and then it was right around the time that I was like, I I think it had been three or four months that I'd had a journal where I had talked to him in entry, and I was like, God help.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, this is all just such a mess.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: I've made such a mess of this.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: Help.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: And started reading the Bible again.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: I wrote a Bible verse at the top of one of the entries at the end of 2023.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: And then got sick.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: And it and looking back, I see it now.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: It was like before this, you were in full alignment.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because you were in full alignment with the pride of playing your own God.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: Now you are living a life, and you're you've got all of these things here that are profoundly out of alignment with what you just asked me to do.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I used to see this as a nurse practitioner in women.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I see autoimmune disorders in women where their bodies are screaming at them.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: You are out of alignment.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: And it's interesting because we used to say an autoimmune disease is an attack of the self on the self, but that's really what it is.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's my body can't tell what's good and what's bad.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just reacting.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so I feel like what happened for me, and I'm curious to hear about your experience, was I started losing clients and team members and all of these things.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: But the wild part was as I was losing those things, I was starting to get better.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: Every time something that wasn't aligned would like, hey, my symptoms lessen.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: And by the middle of 2024, I was like, Oh, I'm actually getting a lot better.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I went and got my antibodies checked, and they were like, Yeah, you're still barely positive, but like you're so much better than you were.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: And she was like, I've never seen this.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, I know, I know what this is.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think it's interesting how he uses, yeah.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because a lot of times I think we're like, Oh, you know, this is from the enemy or this.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I'm like, God will use bad things for your good.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: And there's totally a spiritual implication to what you're saying.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_01: How the things that are attacking our body, we don't know what's good, what's bad, we don't know.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like it's the same thing with our flesh.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's the same thing when we're living in the spiritual realm.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_01: We are spiritual beings living, having this spiritual experience in the spirit, right?
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: And when we are living out of our flesh, we are so like prone to what's out here.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_01: And when we don't allow like ourselves to submit under his authority and align ourselves again with him, like when we do that, we see those things fall away that need to be falling off of us.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_01: And our body begins to align with our rightful place.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes it takes a shift, a shaking, yeah, like it did with our health to bring us back to into alignment.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_01: But they're necessary shakings.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_01: I do believe that the Lord permits, He allows for those things.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's not always the enemy.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_01: No, I feel like He picks his soldier.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's very much I Holy Spirit led me to Job the other day, and I was like, really, really okay.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: And again, it was one of those things where I was like, God, I'm obeying, I'm doing it quickly, and I'm getting my heart there.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: And at the same time, I'm just letting you know.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: I don't like this.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's one of the things I've actually talked to several women about this.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm curious about your experience, but just in the last couple of weeks, where they they know that God is good, and they know that God is the perfect father, they know it in their brain, intellectually, yeah.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: They don't know it in their heart, and they don't actually trust that they don't have to earn his love.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: Or for me, it was I said this several weeks ago and I heard it come out of my mouth, and I was like, Oh, this is why.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: This is why we're still in this.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: And actually, it's funny.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: I was reading the chapter, I'm like, Oh, yeah, this is where I'm at where you're asking why, and you're like, God, like, why, why, why?
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: And the why questions are coming from this place of I don't trust that you love me right now.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because if you loved me, why would you treat me like this?
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I realized, oh, I'm that's earthly stuff.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: That's not my perfect God.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, that's exactly what I'm hearing as I'm listening to you.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's like we there's a disconnect when we are going through those moments of doubt and questioning because we are questioning from a place of an earthly daughter, and sometimes our earthly fathers, we have wounds there.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_01: We have experiences there with our earthly parents, where maybe there has been brokenness, brokenness of trust, brokenness of being present emotionally.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes we are dealing with emotional abandonment.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_01: I know that's part of my story too, feeling like I am left alone here when I thought you were gonna be here for me.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: So, what do we do there?
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_01: And then when we're having these experiences with the Lord, instead of thinking out of a place, we're we're called, we're seated in high places, like the word says.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: When we're seated with our father, there are times because we're in this bag of flesh, our mentality, our way of thinking is like we're demoting it into back into our flesh and we're thinking out of this place, and then we're questioning him from that place.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_01: And it's wait a minute, when we remember who we are and we start thinking out of that high place that we're seated, we're like, but you're sovereign.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_01: You are a sovereign God, and you are good.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: And if goodness and mercy follow me all the days of my life, why would I question your goodness?
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_01: I know you're good, but I love that he's so gracious.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like even when we come back down here and we're thinking and talking out of this earthly place, still is readily, he's ready to love on us, even in that space.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_01: So gracious.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's been such a joy, and like that's the word.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's been such a joy to realize that he just knows so much better than I do.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: As somebody who, for the first 30 plus years of my life, was like, I have to have this figured out.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I've got to have all this under control because if I don't, bad things happen.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: Again, even hearing that come out of my mouth, I'm like, how it's a mean to me that I thought that I could have control.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: The part in Job that I knew, like when he took me to that part, I was I knew part of it.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, Oh, you're taking me to the part where Job goes to God and he and God's like, hey Job, um, do you know how to knit the stars in the sky together?
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like, do you know how to tame Leviathan or to keep these sea beasts and monsters?
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like, do you do you know how to to get a dragon to do what it is?
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you don't?
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, then maybe you don't know everything.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: And Job's like, my bad.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know, very humbling.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: I thought that's where he was taking me.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: When he actually took me the chapter before, I think it's 36.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: So just for context, for if the listeners are familiar with this, Job is a righteous man by all accounts, and the devil comes to God and says, Hey, I want to go mess with him.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I I want to prove he's not as righteous as you think.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: And God's like, Go ahead, go ahead.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: And so he takes everything.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: I mean everything.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: His family dies, his kids die, his entire business goes away.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: He takes everything away.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: And then one thing he leaves is his wife, who his wife is like, I don't even want to be near you.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: And these four friends who are like not friends, and the first three basically spend 35 chapters like trying to convince Job, you must have done something wrong to upset God because what you're experiencing is a direct reflection of your sin.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: And Job's like, I haven't.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: And the fourth friend, though, is so interesting because he talks about he's like, I've sat back and watched you all talk and have this conversation.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I did it out of respect for my elders, but you're all stupid.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's essentially what's like you're all stupid because now here's what's so fascinating is he takes this very prideful position, and without knowing it, he repeats what the first three friends say.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: And the only difference that he's saying is that God is sovereign and God is good, and you can't question God like this, but he's still saying, Job, you must have done something.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so he's kind of more right, but not right.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I heard God so clearly in that moment be like, that was you.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: You knew more than others.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: And you just and in your youthful ignorance, you assumed this position of like, I know.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: And he's like, You're not Job.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like, I mean, I know, like, you had these experiences, but you're not Job.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: You are coming at this still prideful.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I've been working out of you.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I've been sanctifying out of you for the last two years.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: And what was so great was I was like, okay, I know you've been working on this with me.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: Told me that, and ouch.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: And also, oh my gosh, how do I immediately change this?
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_01: When you are responsible at that point, when you see, and we and you and now you're responsible to do something different.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: But it is, it's interesting that it's only in going through that suffering-filled sanctification that you're like, Yeah, oh, I understand.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to put this into words.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: It was, I could see the maturity that had developed by him showing me my ignorance.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: If that makes sense, yeah, perfectly.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: Because I went like, oh, yeah, no, that's right.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not you.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know this.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: And while I've given up this part of understanding, I haven't given up the part of why you do what you do.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: And that was like, that was the part in which I just saw, oh, yeah, I'm not letting you love me.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not trusting that right now I'm a two-year-old who's tired in need of a nap, and you're the dad that's going, Hey, I'm gonna put you, I'm putting you down for a nap.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I know you think that this is horrible and it's gonna last forever and it's never gonna get better.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: And also you need to sleep.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: A hundred percent.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we won't do it on our own.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_01: We need our Heavenly Father to keep us in line.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_01: I also think about how sometimes we have these prayers that were like, Lord, break my heart or what breaks yours, or Lord, make me more like you.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_01: I want to follow you, I want to emulate you, I want to be like you.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: But then at the same time, we question when we're in the middle of our darkest valley.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_01: We're in the middle of like just a load of stuff.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_01: And in hindsight, we can see like he's literally answering your prayer.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_01: And that's his desire too, to make us more to his liking.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we were created, yes, in his image, but we are earthly beings having these supernatural experiences.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: He wants to create us, make us mold us more like him.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_01: And the way that he does that is through our live experiences, our experiences here on earth, making us more like him.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, he he's answering our prayers.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's uh I once heard a sermon where he's like, You are praying for God to take you out of the very thing that he puts you in because you asked him to put you there.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: You are asking for him to take you out of the shadow of the valley of death when what you asked him for is on the other side of that valley.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't make sense.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_01: And it makes me honestly grateful.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_01: I've always had this stance, even though it sounds ridiculous and so hard.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm like, Lord, thank you for the hard.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for the hard.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: Even before I went through what real hard, you know, is I was like, what, 16?
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for the hard.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_01: Girl, you won't move.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, keep talking.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: He's like, let's see if you're still praying that in 20 minutes, Massa.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_01: But you are, I mean, yes, I am, because it's made me, oh my gosh.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like, it's broken me to a place and brought me to a place, complete and utter dependence on him.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_01: Because circling it back to walking out your purpose, that is the only way we can walk out our purpose as a kingdom ambassador, as a identity of Christ carrier, to walk that out in his way.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_01: We can only do that in total dependence on him.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: Because we do it any other way.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_01: That's when pride gets in.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: That's when, you know, control gets in.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_01: That's when so many other things that are unlike him, that it's an anti-Christ spirit, anti-Christ, unlike Christ.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: That's when we start operating under a whole other umbrella where it's just like he needs to shut us down so that he can realign us.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_01: And so, Lord, yes, continue to do it because I don't want to be an anti-Christ spirit.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I want to be in line with him, but that requires pain and suffering, which is the walk.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because part of me is like, first of all, I was in that space.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: I I know the warfare and I know the intensity of that space from the other side.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: You want me to could walk into some of those spaces on your side now?
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_00: That again, my flesh is like, uh-huh, no, thank you.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I realize, oh, that's what he's been strengthening me for this entire time.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: Is my entire life I've been misunderstood.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: And now I know that God understands me.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_00: Being misunderstood in the world when God understands you, so what?
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_00: And again, I'm not saying that from a prideful place, and that's a daily battle to make sure there's not that that pride there.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: But it's also just this like I know what it feels like to live without you now.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: I went back and read, and it was I grieved so much for that version because I could just see how much pain and how much darkness she was in.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: And she couldn't see it.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: And she's like, why is this not working?
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: Why are things but then also it would flip straight over to this like, oh, but I want more and I want better and I want deeper.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: And and I this is not what I was planning on talking about with you, but I've been thinking about the work that the work that you do with women of this soul skin.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: And that's really what I was, I I was looking at let me take a really let me walk around the car.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: Let me let me get a good lay of the land of what this has looked like.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_00: And it just it broke my heart.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, this had to break his heart the entire time.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_00: The only earthly analogy I can think of is a child that walks away from what you know is good and they're an adult.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_00: And as a parent, you're like watching them and your heart's breaking because you're like, I know that you're not okay.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: I know that there's something better for you.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_00: And also you're an adult.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_00: You get to make your own choices, you get to make your own decisions.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, but that's as an imperfect parent.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: I can't imagine what that feels like as God when He knows what's possible.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to talk more about the soul scan because the work that you're doing with women, it's so deeply tied to this.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_00: So can you tell us more about that?
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, 100%.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'm hearing you.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, yes, this is why.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_01: Because I remember in 2019, the Holy Spirit gave me a vision of women walking around with X-rays that I can see.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_01: I had X-ray vision in this vision, and I can see women and I can see their X-rays and I can see spots on them.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_01: And he was telling me, I'm giving you eyes to see the spots that are that they're carrying.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: They have no idea what's going on, but they can feel the symptoms.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_01: They feel symptoms and they don't know where it's coming from and why.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I want to use you to point out and help them see through my word so they can scan their souls and see what is hurting and what needs healing, what needs to be dealt with so that they can go beyond it and break through, break generational curses and break the power of darkness.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_01: And it takes sometimes the Lord, the Holy Spirit, and bringing us to a halt, like you're saying, walking around the car.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_01: The analogy and the vision that I see is I pray for women that I don't even know to feel the symptoms so strong that they'd have to bring themselves to the hospital of his presence and put themselves in the ER and force themselves to stay there and allow the presence of God to really scan them and show them where they're hurting, why they're hurting, what they've been wanting to heal in them.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_01: Because we walk around with so many symptoms and trying to medicate and pacify and walking around life through new age and crystals and cards, and maybe this will give me the answers, and maybe this will make me feel better, and maybe the alcohol is gonna do it, and maybe the sex is gonna do it, and the drug is gonna do it, and it doesn't do it and never satisfies you because is that the answer?
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_01: And so when we're walking around with all of this mess, and we finally get to the place where we can see what's internally and see that there's an answer, that Jesus Christ has come to save us from the power of sin and death to come and heal those dark spots, those spiritual cancers, those things that have caused us death, there's freedom there.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_01: And it only happens when we submit ourselves under the authority, under his greatness and his glory.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_01: We can't do that on our own.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_01: Creating those safe spaces and me seeking the Lord for a word.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_01: For instance, I have Soul Scan conference.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_01: There's some amazing stuff that it's coming up for this next year, and he's having me bring Soul Scan to different places and different spaces.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I've been asking the Lord, what is the theme for the year?
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_01: What is the theme for the year?
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_01: And then I ask him deeper, what do you want the women to know?
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_01: The women that are going to be in this location and in that location.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_01: There's somebody there that you want to speak to because there's somebody there suffering through a symptom, there's someone there battling through addiction, battling through their unbelief.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I want him to speak to that person.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_01: Not Vanessa coming up with the greatest idea.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, this would do a good, this ain't no TED Talk.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_01: These are women's lives at stake, that are dying, that are suffering, that need a rude awakening.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_01: Because when we're awakened to our purpose, when the Lord did a work in Yuli and He looked into your soul and He allowed you to see what was there, and He did that internal surgery and took what He needed to take out and move things around.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_01: I know that you were a completely different person.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that had to be.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_01: You were transformed by His power.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_01: That's the kind of work that I do.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_01: That's why I do what I do because I want to see women walk out transformed and healed.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_01: He is the answer.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_01: We don't have the answers.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_01: He in what set us free.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_01: He was the only one that was going to be able to speak into your soul and call you up and call you higher and wake you up and breathe life into you.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_00: And you are reminding me of something that I saw when I went through this process.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm a word nerd.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_00: I've talked about that a lot on the podcast.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_00: Etymology is my favorite thing.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_00: So sometimes I'll be in the Bible in a verse.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_00: And he's like, stop, go.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, in my in my app, in the looking at the lexicon and all of that.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: Two hours later.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh my gosh, I have things other things.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_00: But when I was looking at the word choices I was using during those times, that was something when I went back through, because this was 33 journals.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, cover to cover.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_00: It was thousands of pages.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so I wrote 60 pages in seven days of notes.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_00: And by the way, God, I love how he speaks to me because he knows I need just a little bit of sarcasm because I'm a little sarcasm.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, weren't you telling me that you don't have time to write?
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, okay, yeah, I have time to write, obviously.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_00: So but one of the things that I realized was I didn't really know Jesus.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't really understand Holy Spirit.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I had been Christian my entire life.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_00: If you'd asked said I'm Christian, up until that period where I was like, I don't even know if God is real.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_00: I did not know Jesus.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_00: I knew of him and I'd even taught about him.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: But like I didn't know Jesus in the Holy Spirit.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_00: And there was a point where I was all of a sudden, Jesus, his name just starts showing up in my journals.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, when did that happen?
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_00: I can't tell you.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_00: It must have been I heard, I don't know.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_00: But I wrote, I do not understand you, Jesus.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I understand the purpose of God.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_00: I understand this.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_00: I understand, I even can get the Holy Spirit, which I didn't get it, but I thought I got it.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_00: But I said, I want to understand Jesus as a friend.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_00: If he was my big brother and he was he was advising me, because that's what he did for the disciples.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: He's advising them, he's teaching them.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_00: I said, if I had a big brother that was there just teaching me how to do things well.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like watching the progression, and all of a sudden I'm talking to him a lot.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like asking the Holy Spirit to guide me.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_00: And in the very beginning of my journals, like back in time, writing, like, oh, God walking by my side.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, oh my gosh, you're so cute, you sweet little.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm reading this going like how audacious.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_00: But then I'm watching it shift and be like, God, help me walk with you.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like the I saw the reverence come in, if that makes sense.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_00: I saw the like the the awe come in.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm saying this because I love the analogy you're using as a former nurse practitioner, as somebody who taught pathophysiology.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm the one who admitted patients to the hospital.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_00: So the process you're talking about, that is the process that I would use.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_00: And the thing that I would teach my students was this as I said, look, when you've got somebody who comes in, I want you to do two things to start, just two.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, rule out the thing that's gonna take them out the fastest.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_00: What is the thing that is gonna kill this person if we don't catch it in the first couple of minutes?
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_00: My gosh.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_00: And the second thing is what is the most likely thing?
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_00: If you start with those two things, you're gonna get your answer within an hour, 80% of the time.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_00: If you go beyond that and it's not those two things, then okay, let's start looking for other stuff.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_00: That was in the back of my mind because what I also know is that when you identify those things, a lot of times those things, if you treat them, the body heals itself.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's like what I hear you talking about, this process is let's figure out the things that are gonna take these women out that have been like taking these women out for a while.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_00: And the thing that if we don't catch it soon, they're not gonna be okay.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_00: And also the thing that is insidious in the background that might be running underneath that is so commonplace that like she's even stopped seeing it.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, because it's just the water we swim in, right?
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's what one was the overwhelm, it was the speed at which I was living, and so he slowed me down, slowed you, and I'm like, yeah, okay.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_00: I would say that 99% of the women who sit in front of you at a conference, if you prescribed slow down, it would probably help.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, I think it's the work that you're doing is so cool because it it's this ability to go, okay, what is personally here?
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_00: And then also what are the things that are like plaguing all of us?
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_01: In every soul scan, I love to do just inner healing exercises, certain things that it's like a call to action.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_01: One of the things that I did in my first soul scan was I ordered a whole bunch of pill bottles, and then on the pill bottles, I put Jesus and inside I put scriptures, I put a scripture, a different scriptures, and then I had them come up as a call to action.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_01: If you've been medicating, self-medicating with all of these different things.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_01: I don't even remember what I fully talked about, but I want you to take a stand and decide today that you're going to take on what he's prescribed to us in his word.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_01: Let's take on his way of doing this.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_01: And they all came up and grabbed these philosophies, and everybody, I remember hearing back the testimonies of Vanessa, the scripture that came out of that so how I don't know how the Holy Spirit did that.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, it's just oh my gosh, this this word came right on time, and the scripture was exactly what I needed, and that's just it.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_01: We live our lives medicating without the word of God, without this.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_01: This is life, this is healing, this is power.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he's the one that we need, and he gives us the blueprint right here, and then the prescriptions right here.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_01: And when we start messing around and trying to create our own medicines and prescriptions, that's when we jack it all up.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_00: And that that's it.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_00: I think this was something else I saw in the healthcare system in the tertiary, like, and tertiary means you've already gotten sick.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_00: So at that point, we're gonna take what's called a pathological approach to your health, which is we've got to treat the disease.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_00: Treating a disease, you being without a acute illness doesn't make you healthy.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so I would see this a lot.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_00: I would see people come back over and over.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_00: And it was because we were again medicating the symptoms, yeah, but it wasn't our job to heal the underlying root cause.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_00: It was just we're gonna get you stable enough that then you can go back out and do that.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that in a way, this was one of the things that was so tough for me about the job that I had was I said, I sometimes, and one of my former mentor colleagues said this to us one time.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_00: She's like, I think we're just rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic right now.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_00: She's like, We're making this look really pretty enough that this person can leave, but we're not fixing things.
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_00: And that was one of the many reasons that I left healthcare, but because it wasn't healthcare, it was sick care.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I'm sharing that here because there's another approach.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_00: And when I went through my trauma certification process, it's called the salutatic approach.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_00: And the salutatic approach is hey, we've got to remove anything bad, sure.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_00: But what the body needs is we need to support its healing.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_00: So you can't just take away the bad thing because you're leaving a hole.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_00: And what you're talking about is, hey, let's not use these band-aids over bullet holes that don't actually work.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_00: And also, maybe let's not stop drinking and then ask Jesus for help.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe let's ask Jesus for help to stop drinking.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_00: You're hitting it.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_00: That was my own personal experience.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_00: I will say I'm 44 days sober.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_00: I have not had a drink in 44 days, and I've talked about it on here.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't a big drinker, but I did medicate with alcohol.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_00: That was my main thing I would do.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_00: Glass or two wine several nights a week.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody would have been like, Lee, you have a problem, but I had a problem.
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I think I'd love to hear more about your perspective and what and your experience with that of kind of flipping that script on, like how I said script, because it's like description.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like flipping the script on that of hey, what if instead of trying to heal the dark spot on your own and then fill it with Jesus?
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_00: What if you let Jesus heal the dark spot?
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's people need to be taught.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of people don't know how to do that because we've all been conditioned a particular way.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my goodness, I love that you have lived in the world of the healthcare system because you know, like everything that you're saying has to me, I see it as a spiritual implication.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, yes, even down to when you're filling out paperwork and they're asking you about your history, your medical history, and the things that your parents had, and who has this and who has that, and where did that come from?
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_01: And so don't get me started.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_01: That's a whole other podcast.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_00: I just again, I am like, I always know that we're right where the Holy Spirit wants us when I get chills.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, okay, I've had those three times in the last five minutes.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_00: This it's what's happened before you got here.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_00: What happened before you got here?
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_01: And what I what the Holy Spirit has okay, yeah, again, it's a whole other podcast, but he's shown me in my own life I've gone through freedom prayers and like deliverance.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I know the warfare is real.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_01: The enemy is out here to snatch us out.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_01: He's out here for our souls, okay?
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_01: And he comes by way of trying to attach himself through some thinking that he has legal right.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like I have legal right because your mother had lupus and your mother had this, and your mother had and your dad had that.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_01: So of course, that's what you have.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, but I want you to believe that.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, believe that's what you have.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_01: That symptom is because it comes from your parent.
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_01: And when you when you walk people through the generational patterns, sinful patterns, whether it's okay, divorce or addiction or sexual abuse, all of these things, the enemy tries to come in and say, I have ground, and this is what I'm gonna use to take you out.
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_01: People can't really see that on their own.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_01: They just feel, I don't know why.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_01: I just live this promiscuous life, and I just wanna, you know, do me, and I just I wanna, I don't want to be alone, right?
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's very surface.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_01: I just I feel like I don't want to be alone.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_01: But when you take them a little deeper, and when you're coaching somebody, counseling somebody, I've seen it myself.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_01: Like the deeper I go, the more we can see you have a wound here.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_01: This sexual abuse that you've endured, like it opened a door to some things, and it broke you in a way that you need a healer, you need the Holy Spirit to surgically do his work to heal you and transform your thinking and transform you.
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_01: That's the only way.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_01: Because if we medicate it, it's not going to work that way.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_01: There are just spiritual implications to things or layers of things that people are unaware of.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_01: That's my point.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_01: There, they just don't know.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_01: I like to walk them through.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_01: Do you want to do the work, first of all?
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_01: Because it is gonna be work.
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_00: It is that too.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_00: You sign those forms when you go into the hospital.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_00: You're consenting to treatment, right?
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_00: You're consenting to treatment.
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_00: And you're gonna be able to say yes and no along the way.
• 42:10
  SPEAKER_00: But there's some things that once you're strapped into the roller coaster, you can't get out.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_01: And some of us try.
• 42:15
  SPEAKER_01: I've done seasons where it's just I'm snatching this Ivy on my arm.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_01: I need to get the heck out of here.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_01: I don't have faith for this.
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to deal with this pain point in my life right now.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_01: But we realize very quickly that the longer we put that aside and we postpone the surgery, the longer we push it back, the longer we the more we're just out here bleeding out, the more we're out here living out our symptoms and affecting and infecting everybody around us.
• 42:46
  unknown: Yeah.
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_00: What I think is also interesting is that one of the ways that the enemy really got me to my primary motivational gift is that of the teacher, the professor.
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_00: And so what he did was he went, Hey, it's wrong for you to just want to help people have the light bulb go off and then leave it there.
• 43:14
  SPEAKER_00: You need to be the one to make sure that they transform.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_00: You need to be the coach, you need to be the motivator.
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_00: And even further than that, another gift, you need to be the consoler, you need to be the one that's showing active compassion in doing that.
• 43:25
  SPEAKER_00: One of the reasons that I was actually a good ICU nurse, one of the reasons I was a good nurse practitioner in those very chaotic moments was I am immensely feeling.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_00: And also, if you're in front of me and there's a problem, you're not gonna get compassion.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like it's there.
• 43:42
  SPEAKER_00: Don't get me wrong.
• 43:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm treating you from a compassionate perspective, right?
• 43:45
  SPEAKER_00: But like I'm not gonna stop and say, Hey, oh, how do you feel about that bullet wound that's in your arm?
• 43:51
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's not helpful.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I kept putting myself in spaces, and even in my business as an entrepreneur, I would put myself Myself and create these offers as a nurse.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of times I ended up in the motivator and the consoler state.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not really what God's creating me for.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like you the when you speak, yes, you're changing people's minds.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_00: And also like you're calling them towards transformation.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_00: Mine is more like, hey, I want to give you the information that allows you to choose if you're going to transform or not.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_00: Do what you will with whatever I'm saying.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_00: That has been so hard to own because in especially in online business, and as women, they're like, that is what a lot of again they talk about if you're going to have an online business, like it's a coaching business.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I don't have an online coaching business.
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_00: I have an online teaching business.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_00: I have an online strategic consulting business.
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, owning the owning your lane.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_00: And that was actually one of the dark spots was like, you don't care enough about people.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like, like you, you, this is selfish.
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like you just want to give people what you want to say and then walk away.
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_00: And you should really want to stay through the transformation.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_00: You should really want to do this.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I'm actually more compassionate and more exhortative.
• 45:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_00: When I'm doing so in alignment with teaching.
• 45:23
  SPEAKER_00: So if I have a student that comes up to me and they're like, Lee, I'm really trying to understand what you're saying, but like I'm just not getting it, you're gonna get such a compassionate version.
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'll sit with them for an hour and help them get it.
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, because it's there.
• 45:38
  SPEAKER_00: But like I'm enjoying talking with you because I feel like there's these ideas that have been kind of like rumbling around in my brain and they're coming out for the first time.
• 45:46
  SPEAKER_00: But I love it.
• 45:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's one of the things we see a lot with people when we do like our spiritual gift assessment.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I actually see this with a lot of very high achiever, like we call them high responsibility humans that listen to our podcast.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_00: I see this with a lot of them.
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_00: What they're doing is they've been graced with a lot of gifts, and the one that they're operating in is close, not the gift that brings the joy.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 46:14
  SPEAKER_00: So they're like crushing it, and they're like, why am I not enjoying this?
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_01: I think I love everything you're saying.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_01: And as I'm hearing you speak, I'm also thinking about this is why it's so important.
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_01: Just like in the natural, it's important to surround ourselves with a team of doctors that specialize in different areas.
• 46:37
  SPEAKER_01: That's why we need to be in our lane because God created us a particular way for a particular area of somebody's soul.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like you were gifted to teach, you were gifted for a particular lane.
• 46:50
  SPEAKER_01: And so, yes, you can speak life, and yes, you can go into other roles because he's graced you for it.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_01: But when we are all in position, the damage we can do in the kingdom of darkness is massive.
• 47:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's massive.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_01: And then if we're not living in that role, like you're saying, when we are afraid, or maybe we just haven't owned it because of fill in the blank.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_01: This is when the body of Christ needs to be activated.
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_01: This is why I'm like passionate about that because we need one another.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_01: I need you to activate me, and I am happy to activate you.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_01: I need you to teach me because we're constantly learning.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_01: We have to be open to that, and I need to be ready to pour into you.
• 47:34
  SPEAKER_01: Where are we in the body of Christ right now?
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_01: Are we just weeping, chilling, like crippled in fear, or are we activated in the spirit, doing what we're called to do and living out of that place?
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of times we're not, and I want us to wake up.
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_00: But that right there, what you're speaking to, or even taking it back to this analogy, like you said, the body of Christ.
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I've talked about this many times on here too.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_00: I spent the better part of a year on three verses Romans 12, six through eight.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_00: He still shows me stuff in that verse.
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_00: He did this to me on one day.
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_00: I was at Bible study, and my dear friend who runs it, she's like, Lee, I know you're gonna love this because one of the things we're reading tonight is Romans three through eight.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_00: She said, I bet you know that by heart.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_00: I said, Well, I could I could recite six through eight by heart.
• 48:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's an interdenominational Bible study, and we all take turns reading.
• 48:24
  SPEAKER_00: And the woman next to me had the message, which is a very, it's a very different interpretation than like the Catholic Bible.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_00: And she read it and I my mind went because I was like, wait a second.
• 48:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I haven't looked at this verse in other Bible versions.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I have been spending time in these two to three and in the Greek and in the this and in the that, and then like, yeah, I haven't looked at it in how other people have translated it.
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_00: I was just like, oh my gosh, and now I have another year.
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but I'm sharing that piece because in that he talks about the body of Christ and he talks about how, or just as we're all members of the body of Christ, we're we all need to be operating efficiently and effectively, yeah, for this to actually all work.
• 49:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think that's something that the enemy does, he's so good at it.
• 49:12
  SPEAKER_00: Is I kept hearing this as I was developing this work, was like close but no cigar, you know.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_00: He gets us, he's like, let me just get her slightly out of position.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_00: Just think about it.
• 49:22
  SPEAKER_00: If your liver or your lungs or your heart are working 90% effective, you might not ever notice that.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_00: So true.
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_00: And that's gonna at some point catch up with you.
• 49:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 49:39
  SPEAKER_00: And then all of a sudden you've lost years, you've lost so much time.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_00: But you could live your whole life with your heart working 90% of what it could do and not know it, and then die, and God opens up the book of like, hey, here's everything you could have had if you were 100% effective, and you're like, oh my Lord.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 50:07
  SPEAKER_00: The work you're doing, I think, and I love that it's happening in community because if when we do it in isolation, and not even isolation, but like in solitude, I think it's important to do it in solitude, but like bringing it then into a communal space, you see other women and you see the dark spots getting diagnosed, and you see their closes but no cigars, and you go, Oh, hold on a second.
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_01: Do I have that too?
• 50:31
  SPEAKER_01: A hundred percent.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_01: When I do these conferences, I'm fully aware that people they only have one day or hours, a few hours with me where I can I hope and my prayers to activate the faith, right?
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_01: To stir them.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_01: But there's no way that this, unless the Holy Spirit does a miracle, which he can, instantly heal them and fully transform them.
• 50:53
  SPEAKER_01: But there is a work to be done.
• 50:55
  SPEAKER_01: Post soul scan work, you have to, you have to do the work.
• 51:00
  SPEAKER_01: And this is soul scan conferences are just to open your appetite for an a hunger for an inner healing, a deeper intimacy with Christ.
• 51:08
  SPEAKER_01: But that's where I'm still developing soul scan.
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_01: It is a nonprofit, and I'm working to build out the community more.
• 51:17
  SPEAKER_01: But the importance of all of us doing walking out our lane and being the body of Christ, I love pointing women to places where they can now and go break that open even more.
• 51:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 51:29
  SPEAKER_01: Now go find you a Christian coach or therapist.
• 51:33
  SPEAKER_01: Now go to counseling.
• 51:35
  SPEAKER_01: Now join that Bible study, join that group, go and do the work.
• 51:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 51:40
  SPEAKER_01: Go and do the work.
• 51:42
  SPEAKER_01: And we can quickly see how beneficial that is to us and how we can be there for other people after we do our own work.
• 51:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 51:52
  SPEAKER_00: You're teaching too.
• 51:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's an important piece to pull out because a lot of times people hear that and they're like, oh, well, you know, if motivators, and I'm I I admittedly made an assumption and it's interesting.
• 52:03
  SPEAKER_00: Every now and then I'm wrong.
• 52:05
  SPEAKER_00: And people will do the assessment and I'm like, oh wow.
• 52:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, but this is true.
• 52:09
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know your assessment.
• 52:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'll I'll say it for everyone who's on here too.
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_00: Cause I I think it's in our show notes, but it's grow in your gift.com.
• 52:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so whenever I'm wrong, I get so excited.
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_00: Again, that's the professor part.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm like, wow, if you're that skilled here and I experience that much joy from you here, oh man, what's it like if we also develop over here?
• 52:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 52:39
  SPEAKER_00: And what would it look like if we took that gift and directed it towards that gift?
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's the goal, is that you find the one that brings you the most joy and you direct everything else towards that.
• 52:51
  SPEAKER_00: And then they all become joyful.
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 52:54
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know about you, but like there's tasks I hate doing.
• 52:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 52:58
  SPEAKER_00: I do.
• 52:59
  SPEAKER_00: But like a task that I really dislike doing can become something I absolutely love doing if it's for a purpose that I find joy in.
• 53:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 53:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like you might not be gifted as a taskmaster, that's what we call it.
• 53:13
  SPEAKER_00: You know, the implementation execution.
• 53:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, you might not be gifted as a taskmaster, but you love operating as a taskmaster if you are looking up these three Bible verses in every Bible.
• 53:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, a hundred percent.
• 53:25
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have the details of your next conference available?
• 53:29
  SPEAKER_00: So almost, almost.
• 53:32
  SPEAKER_01: SoulScat, Ohio is going to be February 27th.
• 53:37
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 53:38
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 53:39
  SPEAKER_01: As of right now, it'll be a one-day conference.
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_01: I have two formats.
• 53:43
  SPEAKER_01: I do either one day or two day.
• 53:46
  SPEAKER_01: If by some miracle I get to do it for two days, I will let everyone know.
• 53:51
  SPEAKER_01: But as of right now, it is a one-day conference, and we're still praying and looking for a location.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_01: So location is TBD.
• 53:59
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, Soul Scan, Ohio, February 2027.
• 54:03
  SPEAKER_01: And then we have, I'll say a year.
• 54:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, please.
• 54:08
  SPEAKER_01: Soul scan, New Jersey is happening April 17th.
• 54:12
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, that's amazing.
• 54:13
  SPEAKER_01: Soul scan on the road.
• 54:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 54:16
  SPEAKER_01: And we already have a place.
• 54:17
  SPEAKER_01: So that's locked in April 17th.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_01: We'll do a soul scan there.
• 54:21
  SPEAKER_01: And then we're doing Soul Scan Chicago, and that date is coming.
• 54:24
  SPEAKER_01: There are a couple of soul scans that the Lord is just mobilizing and just bringing along the different states.
• 54:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm just here for it.
• 54:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'm here for it.
• 54:34
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever he wants to do with it.
• 54:37
  SPEAKER_00: That is very exciting.
• 54:39
  SPEAKER_00: And there's a book.
• 54:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, there is.
• 54:43
  SPEAKER_01: Soul scan facing hard realities to heal with broken.
• 54:47
  SPEAKER_01: And it's all that we talked about, that's basically what the book is about.
• 54:51
  SPEAKER_01: Just facing the hard things, admitting yourself into his hospital to deal with the dark spots of our souls so that we can heal from it and grow beyond it.
• 55:02
  SPEAKER_01: But sometimes we need a little help facing those hard things.
• 55:05
  SPEAKER_01: And so the soul scan is like a blueprint, honestly.
• 55:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's a blueprint and it walks women through how to do that and why we should do that.
• 55:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I love to show them the impact of them doing their work.
• 55:17
  SPEAKER_01: And so I have some personal stories in there as well on how the Lord helped me with scanning my soul.
• 55:25
  SPEAKER_01: And it's a continual thing, it's not like a one-way.
• 55:28
  SPEAKER_00: No, I think that's what people it's so funny to me how people are like, okay, I'm gonna go in one time.
• 55:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna I'm like, so here's the thing about being a human.
• 55:36
  SPEAKER_00: Being a human, everything's changing.
• 55:38
  SPEAKER_00: So all the time.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, things get better, things get worse.
• 55:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I love that you say that because we have a deeper, it's called the stage.
• 55:46
  SPEAKER_00: So it's a spiritual assessment of gifts for entrepreneurs and it's a diagnostic.
• 55:49
  SPEAKER_00: And we're like, guys, here's the difference between the primary motivational assessment and the stage.
• 55:53
  SPEAKER_00: This is based on your intrinsic joy, so it doesn't typically change.
• 55:57
  SPEAKER_00: We're going back to when you were a kid and looking at what you love to do before told you it was better, whatever.
• 56:02
  SPEAKER_00: This over here is a diagnostic.
• 56:03
  SPEAKER_00: Do that every 90 days from your perspective.
• 56:05
  SPEAKER_00: Go get an x-ray because if you don't stop and take that time to check in and evaluate, yes, you can miss things when they're relatively early on.
• 56:15
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 56:16
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 56:17
  SPEAKER_01: That I also relate to that as a house, our spiritual beer like a house.
• 56:21
  SPEAKER_01: We got simple, first of all, but we're not the house.
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_01: What do you clean your house just once a year?
• 56:27
  SPEAKER_01: We some of us we don't have time.
• 56:28
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't have time to be all cleaning my house, but we can see the effects of us not cleaning it.
• 56:33
  SPEAKER_01: And we do need to make it part of our daily routine where we're just checking in.
• 56:38
  SPEAKER_01: And then the deep cleaning, sometimes I okay, every couple months.
• 56:42
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, all right, Lord, I'm forcing myself to sit here.
• 56:45
  SPEAKER_01: Clearly, I've been annoyed at my kids.
• 56:47
  SPEAKER_01: I've been snappy, I've been depressed, I've been anxious.
• 56:51
  SPEAKER_01: I need to get it together.
• 56:52
  SPEAKER_01: I need a deep clean.
• 56:53
  SPEAKER_01: I need a soul scan.
• 56:55
  SPEAKER_01: So I will stop and I'll end my time with the Lord.
• 56:57
  SPEAKER_01: I've literally gone, okay, what's going on in my mind?
• 57:01
  SPEAKER_01: What's going on in my heart?
• 57:02
  SPEAKER_01: What's going on in my gut?
• 57:04
  SPEAKER_01: What's going on in my system and allowing the Holy Spirit to scan us because he will reveal so that he can heal and help you grow from it.
• 57:12
  SPEAKER_01: He will do it.
• 57:12
  SPEAKER_01: You just have to put yourself on the table.
• 57:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's such a good analogy.
• 57:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I admittedly, I don't think I understood it to the depth that I now do.
• 57:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I love that God surprised me with that because we had talked about a lot of times.
• 57:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'll go do deeper research and something just told me, nope, just show up and talk to her.
• 57:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I and that as somebody with the gift of professor is tough because I'm like, what do you mean I'm not going to research before you show up?
• 57:38
  SPEAKER_00: But again, it goes back to that.
• 57:40
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, can you trust me?
• 57:41
  SPEAKER_00: Can you trust that I love you?
• 57:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I would never lead you into something that's not going to be for your good, even if in the moment it doesn't feel good.
• 57:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's good eventually.
• 57:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 57:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 57:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so grateful that you joined us.
• 57:55
  SPEAKER_00: This was just absolutely delightful.
• 57:57
  SPEAKER_00: I looked at the time and went, Oh, we gotta go.
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_00: So I'll make sure that we link your the book and then the soul scan conference information in the show notes.
• 58:04
  SPEAKER_00: And y'all follow Vanessa if you're on Instagram and follow her there.
• 58:08
  SPEAKER_00: She's got really good content there.
• 58:09
  SPEAKER_00: And thank you again for joining.
• 58:11
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for having me.
• 58:13
  SPEAKER_01: It was such a pleasure.
• 58:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I know it won't be the last time.
• 58:15
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, absolutely not.
• 58:16
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like every guest I have on, I'm like, can you come back?
• 58:20
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
• 58:20
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you all for listening.
• 58:22
  SPEAKER_00: And we will catch you next week.