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How do narcissists feel when you finally leave them? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on beautiful people?
• 0:02
  Welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  I'm your favorite selfaware narcissist, Mr. Lee Hammock
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  better known as mental illness across all social media
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  platforms. This is the first time I see my
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  face or hearing my lovely voice. I am a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist and I use my platform on social media to raise
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  awareness for NPD, get more people into therapy like myself,
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  five years strong, and also validate the victims, survivors
• 0:24
  and thrivers of said disorders. Said Toxic people, said Toxic
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  tricks. Today's episode is going to be
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  about how do narcissists feel when you finally decide to
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  leave, when you finally decide to walk away, when you finally
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  decide that picking you is what you want to do.
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  So before you hop into today's episode, y'all please just hit
• 0:45
  that subscribe button. I this is me.
• 0:47
  This is me feeling like I don't want you to leave.
• 0:50
  This is how narcissists feel. Hit the subscribe button.
• 0:53
  Y'all. So you don't, you don't miss out
• 0:54
  on any videos and updates and some new things that I have
• 0:57
  coming out here pretty soon. So yeah, go ahead, hit that
• 0:59
  button and let's get let's get into it.
• 1:01
  So how do narcissists feel? How?
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  How? I know.
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  I know a lot of people will just have the, the other, the just
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  kind of the black and white thing that narcissists don't
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  feel pain or hurt when you walk away.
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  Like they already have a new supply lined up most times, so
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  they don't care at all. Yeah.
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  And this is not me speaking for every single narcissist because
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  I can't do that. I know I can't do that.
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  But what I can do is just give you an honest perspective from
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  my perspective. When people have walked away
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  from me, I I consider walking away.
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  But you, you are not walking away, y'all.
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  You are walking towards a goal. You're not walking away from the
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  narcissist. It's okay to choose you.
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  But when people have left my life when I had, I haven't been
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  prepared for the relief. It hurts.
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  It sucks. It breaks you down.
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  Y'all you do. So I'm not.
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  Again. Again, y'all.
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  Do not take this. If you're looking for a sign to
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  go back to your narcissistic partner or give them another
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  chance, this is not it. Just because I say a narcissist
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  hurts when you decide to walk away does not mean that you
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  should take them back. Well, I don't want to leave them
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  in pain, Lee. No, they're they're hurt.
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  The the reason you're walking away most times is because they
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  put you through some pain. They put you through, hurt.
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  You see what I'm saying? You're you're leaving them
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  because they put you through some stuff.
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  They hurt you, they. But you know they they violated
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  the terms and conditions of your relationship.
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  That's why you decided to go, to leave this relationship space.
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  That's why you decided to pick you.
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  That's why you decided to choose you.
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  That's why you decided to choose freedom and happiness over these
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  circumstances. But a lot of times that
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  narcissistic person is going to act like they they never saw
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  this coming. They never saw.
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  They would never have guessed that you would leave them like.
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  But when you finally decide to leave and you are, you go no
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  contact. You cut off contact, you, you
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  relinquish. You change the access code to
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  your life because that's what you have to do.
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  You have to change the access code to your life.
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  Once you do that and they realize you're going, they a lot
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  of them do hurt. Y'all, a lot of them go through
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  hurt pain. They, some of them become
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  obsessive. I'm going to go through the
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  stages, but a lot of times they just, you know, it's kind of
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  like the stages of grief, like they go into denial.
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  Like no, you're not. Like they're not this person
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  really not gone. Like they we've broken up before
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  plenty of times. You know, you said that we we
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  we've broken up plenty of times. So this is just one of those
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  things right here. It happened, you know it happens
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  all the time and stuff like that.
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  You know it this is going to keep happening.
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  They go do like it's just deny, like shock and denial.
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  It's just like you know, it's just like no, this is not, this
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  is not how it's going to go, you know.
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  Then once they realize that you are actually going, it comes to
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  disbelief. They go into disbelief that I
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  can't believe you did this. They started to play, you know
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  they started to place the the blame game.
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  They start pointing the finger at you and being super angry at
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  you and accusing you that they that you never loved them, that
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  you never cared about them. How could you leave them like
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  this? Everybody else, my life has
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  abandoned me. How dare you.
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  They go through that pain. They do.
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  They feel it. They do.
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  And this is like, again, some of them like, do they have new
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  supply lined up? Yeah, some of them do have new
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  supply lined up. But just because they move on
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  doesn't mean all of the feelings that they have for you
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  disappear. You know what I mean?
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  It just doesn't work that way. I've moved them before and I've
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  still cared about X's before, like full, damn, near, fully
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  still. I've started new relationships
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  before and then loved Bobby the person, and I'm still thinking
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  about the old person. Like still missing the old.
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  Like I've done that before. Y'all.
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  That's why I know that some narcissists throw themselves
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  head first into the new relationship because they want
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  to get past and get over the feelings of the old
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  relationship. But it doesn't work that way.
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  They haven't processed it, you know.
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  So they some of them who, even if they have left you and have a
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  new supply lined up or they were so sad when I left, but then two
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  weeks later they moved them with somebody else, Yeah, they're
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  doing that because they're hurting.
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  I'm not saying, like, again, y'all.
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  I'm not saying this to make you feel bad and go back to that
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  person. Do not do that.
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  That's not me saying this. This is my, oh, I was looking
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  for a sign. This is not the sign you're
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  looking for. This, ain't it.
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  This ain't, this ain't it. Don't look at this.
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  Don't look at the video like oh, Lee said no, Lee didn't.
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  Lee said. Don't do it.
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  Don't misconstrue my words. Don't misinterpret my shit I'm
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  saying. Lee said do not do it.
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  That's what I said. Don't do it.
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  Don't do it. You mean?
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  But then like I said, after the after they find out you're
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  really gone and blame is suppressed, here comes to
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  confusion, guilt. And then anger.
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  Anger. They get confused.
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  They try to figure out, I don't know why you need it.
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  I don't know why you find the left.
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  You know, I don't know why you decided to do it.
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  I don't know why you do it. And then they make you feel bad.
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  And then if the making you feel bad doesn't work, it comes to
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  anger. Y'all they kicking the anger,
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  they kick anger in the high gear.
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  They become mad as hell. They could become irate and
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  obsessive and things like that. They could absolutely do that,
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  you know? But the whole time they become
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  outright they the whole time that they're becoming irate and
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  obsessive. They're thinking of a backup
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  plan. They're trying to get a backup
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  plan in order in case they don't have one, in case you don't come
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  back. Because like, damn, what if they
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  don't come back? I have to have a backup plan.
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  So not only could they be becoming obsessive with you or
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  reaching out to you and trying to contact you on a consistent
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  basis, popping up at your job, popping up at your house, you're
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  writing you letters, calling you consistently doing all kinds of
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  craziness. Not only can and will they do
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  that type of stuff right there, sometimes they'll be building a
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  new supply. They'll be needing a whole new
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  relationship, but trying to build something new with
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  somebody else. They'll do that too.
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  Y'all. Just like I said, a lot of
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  narcissists, yeah, they, we know shame, but we try to avoid it.
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  So we just try to rationalize within ourselves like I'm moving
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  on because they left me, but I'm not going to leave.
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  I'm not going to leave them. They'll try to.
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  They'll do whatever sometimes. They'll do whatever it takes to
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  say whatever it takes to get you back into their life.
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  You know, like I said, they can become obsessive.
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  And then the anger. And like I said, when they
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  become, when they when they try to make you feel guilty and that
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  doesn't work. They shift to anger and angry,
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  narcissistic people. When you leave, they could
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  become, like I said, become obsessive, but they could also
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  become really dangerous. And that's why I tell people if
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  you decide to leave, you don't always have to tell this person
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  that you're leaving. Because they if they feel like
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  their world is getting turned upside down or they feel like
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  you, you're going to go out here and find somebody else or you're
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  going to go out here and be with somebody else, their damn world
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  can be turned upside down and they can lose their goddamn
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  minds. They can go belligerent, they
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  can lose their minds. They can just be like, Oh no, I
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  didn't know this is going to happen.
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  Blah blah blah Boo Boo Boo BBB. They can just absolutely try to
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  blame you and make you feel unserving that boy about the
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  situation and what is actually going on.
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  That absolutely can be a truth to it right there.
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  They're going to understand you just because you're dealing with
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  a narcissistic person that is you that you're trying to you're
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  that you're dealing with in this on this level, like they because
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  they can send you out of here. I mean, y'all know what I mean
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  when I send you out here. Send you straight to heaven.
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  Do not pass, go straight, pass the pearly gates.
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  Don't do that. Like I said, you don't have to
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  tell them y'all, because narcissistic people.
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  Yeah. Could they become super
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  depressed after you leave? Yeah.
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  You know, I, you know, that's why I'm so glad I got a psyche
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  vow because I have narcissistic personality disorder, gender
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  anxiety. And I have depression as well.
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  Yeah, I have general anxiety and depression as well.
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  I have depression. Signs and sentences of
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  depression. So narcissists can absolutely
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  become depressed after you leave.
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  But and and and some of them y'all trying to make you feel
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  bad about their depression. I'm so depressed I'm going to
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  unalive myself. If you hear somebody say that,
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  y'all. Because then here comes the
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  guilt and the emotional manipulation.
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  If you hear them say that, don't go try to save their life.
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  Call the unaliving hotline, the the slowest light hotline.
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  Call it and report and do a Wellness check.
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  Do something like that. Do not Wellness check with
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  yourself. You don't need to be present to
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  do a Wellness check. You don't need to do that.
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  You don't need to be there. You don't need to pop up.
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  You don't need to check in on them like that.
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  Your physical presence is not necessary because again, they
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  think about it like this. Y'all, let's just say they do
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  want to unlock themselves and you go pop up to stop them.
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  What's stopping them from taking you out of here too?
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  You don't change their mind, you just give them another target.
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  So they're going to take you out of here.
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  Your family and friends are going to miss you.
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  Your life completely stops abruptly and then they take
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  themselves out. Don't do that.
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  Y'all I know you care about people.
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  I know your empathy is high. I know you have a lot of
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  compassion. Have enough compassion and
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  empathy for yourself as sympathy for yourself as well to go out
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  here and just call, do a Wellness check because y'all.
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  They can become very dangerous because like, they feel like
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  they're like they could absolutely feel like their world
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  is over there. There's there could be some
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  truth to what they saying, that there could be some when they
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  when they're yelling and crying and begging or whatever for you
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  to come back. And then my world is over.
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  I can't live without you. I don't want to move on without
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  you. I can't knew it.
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  They could absolutely mean that. Y'all.
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  But guess what that means? It doesn't necessarily mean
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  they're going to change. They just mean that they don't
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  feel like they can live without you or they don't want to be in
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  this. They don't want to be in a new
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  relationship. They just want to be with you.
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  They could absolutely mean that stuff, but that doesn't mean
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  they're going to treat you better for a consistent period
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  of time. Just because they say that stuff
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  doesn't mean that they're going to treat you better.
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  Doesn't mean that they're going to do you better.
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  Doesn't mean that they're doesn't mean that they're going
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  to be better for you. It just means that they feel
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  like I can't live without you. So I didn't want to be here
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  anymore. That's just what that means.
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  Y'all this is just what that means.
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  You know what I mean? They just get into these spaces
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  were like if you finally decided to leave that they might lose.
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  They they might lose their minds, they really might.
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  But if they lose their minds, y'all be prepared to call the
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  police. Be prepared to defend yourself
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  and protect your peace and protect yourself.
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  If you have kids with this type of person, expect for the kids
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  to be used as pawns or leverage or tools of manipulation tools
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  to hurt you. They just absolutely can.
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  Y'all and just I hate that the kids get involved in these
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  situations. The kids be like they become
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  more targets to. I really, really do hate that
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  y'all. If I have empathy for anybody,
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  it's for. It's for kids because kids can't
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  defend themselves. Kids can't.
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  The kids don't get to pick their parents.
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  It just sucks. It really, really does suck.
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  Y'all so narcissistic people. When you leave them, they could
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  go through the 7:00 to 12:00 stages of grief.
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  They try to bargain with you, bake you to come back.
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  Do I said depression kicks in and then like they they don't
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  want to be alone so they try to move on to somebody else while
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  also trying to get you back. Just because they move on to
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  somebody else doesn't mean that they will leave you alone.
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  There's truth to that right there.
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  Y'all. Anyways, y'all.
• 11:27
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• 11:30
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• 11:34
  And always, as always, this is out peace.
• 11:37
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• 11:40
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• 11:43
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