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Why People Fail to Achieve Their Goals · Arise Women of God

• 0:00
  Have you ever set a goal that you were so passionate about?
• 0:03
  Maybe a dream God placed on your mind and heart?
• 0:07
  You've pulled out of that goal or let it sit on a shelf for a decade because you're afraid you won't do it perfectly?
• 0:15
  Ooh, I feel that one, ladies.
• 0:17
  Most of us think we fail because of lack of discipline, but the truth is we're usually stopped by invisible walls of perfectionism and fear.
• 0:27
  Today, we're answering the high stakes question why people fail to achieve their goals.
• 0:34
  And by the end of today's episode, you'll be able to identify the mental claws of the past that may be holding you back.
• 0:42
  And we're going to help you solve the pain of paralysis by analysis by showing you how to turn your roadblocks into step stepping stones.
• 0:52
  We're moving from the fear of being bullied or failing into the courage of a divine mission.
• 0:58
  Stay tuned.
• 0:59
  Ordinary women Extraordinary Faith When God calls, we say yes.
• 1:06
  The Arise Women of God Podcast hello and welcome to another episode of the Arise Women of God podcast.
• 1:13
  I'm your host, Tamara K.
• 1:15
  Anderson, and joining me today is goal expert and and Women warriors of Light Advisory Board member Amanda Powell.
• 1:23
  Amanda has an incredible story of a curriculum she wrote years ago that could change the lives of thousands of children.
• 1:32
  But it sat in a drawer for seven years.
• 1:35
  First, we're gonna discuss the perfectionism block and why not being ready is often just a mask for fear.
• 1:43
  Second, I'll share the nail biter story and why the right mentor two doors down can help SOL a 50 year failure.
• 1:53
  Third, we'll talk about the bully wall and how a past trauma from 30 years ago can still be damning or stopping your progress today.
• 2:03
  And finally, we'll share three life changing questions that will help you focus on the good you can do rather than feel the fear.
• 2:12
  But first, let's have Amanda dive deep with her seven year delay on launching that curriculum story and how it applies to you.
• 2:20
  I have been in the curriculum world for years.
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  I have studied, I have researched.
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  It is a passion of mine.
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  It is what makes me get out of bed in the morning.
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  And it is a fire that is just lit with me.
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  I want every single one of God's children to be able to read because it opens up so many doors.
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  So I'm doing all of this curriculum research and I realize that there are pieces missing from some curriculums that we're using in the school systems.
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  Right.
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  That I was part of.
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  I started praying.
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  Heavenly Father, if this is aligned, I would love to create A curriculum that really could get kids reading.
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  And I'm talking the most fragile readers that we have.
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  And boy, did heavenly Father deliver.
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  I just started getting ideas.
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  I started.
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  Things would come back to my remembrance, or I'd be studying with this expert in the field, and they would be like, oh, well, this is what our curriculum offers.
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  And I just was like, it's time for me to write a curriculum.
• 3:14
  So I did, you guys.
• 3:15
  I wrote a curriculum.
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  I put it into action with a bunch of tutoring students that I tutored after school.
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  I could not believe the response.
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  The gaps that closed were incredible.
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  So I made a goal.
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  I am going to publish my curriculum for anybody and everybody who wants to use this curriculum.
• 3:34
  So I set this goal.
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  It's on paper.
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  I do all the steps to meet the goal.
• 3:40
  And then guess what?
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  All the fears came in, right?
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  Like, what if this story is not good enough?
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  Ah, it doesn't look like so and so's curriculum.
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  And what if this.
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  And what if I hit this roadblock?
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  And you guys.
• 3:50
  My own perfectionism was my stumbling block, and I pulled that goal for seven years.
• 4:00
  Seven years I pulled it.
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  Because what if it's not good enough?
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  What if it's not good enough?
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  Well, then just in December, a prompting comes.
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  Contact this charter school.
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  You're struggling with reader reading scores.
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  You can help them get in there and get teaching them your curriculum.
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  And I was like, what?
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  So I schedule a meeting.
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  It happens.
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  The principal is like, I'm all in.
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  Let's start in two weeks.
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  In two weeks.
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  And I'm like, well, I don't think I'm ready in two weeks, right?
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  So I start to feel myself going backwards.
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  And I'm like, no, I'm committed.
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  This is an opportunity.
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  I felt prompted.
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  I'm moving forward.
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  I have been prepared enough.
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  So for me, perfection is a big one.
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  If we can't execute it with a hundred percent accuracy, then we don't feel like we met that goal.
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  When in reality, a goal is always being tweaked.
• 4:51
  You're going to meet this, and then you're going to grow here, and you're going to tweak and course correct along the way.
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  Perfectionism is just a sophisticated way for the adversary to help you keep your gifts you hidden.
• 5:03
  Amanda almost missed her pilot because she was too worried about a typo.
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  But as she found out, when you are aligned with God, he provides the words even when you're dyslexic or afraid.
• 5:17
  Sometimes, though, we simply fail because we're trying to solve a 50 year problem all by ourselves.
• 5:24
  Why people fail to achieve their goals.
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  Sometimes it's because we're doing it all by ourselves.
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  And it's not meant to be done all by yourself.
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  You know, God is like, no, no, no, no, no.
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  Get out there, get help, get feedback, get a mentor.
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  And I'm going to share another quick story of a mentor situation.
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  We're going to call it mentoring.
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  I've had mentors help me through, like, learn to write a book.
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  And so I know the value of if there's a knowledge gap, you need to learn something.
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  You need somebody guiding you through the process.
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  Yes, get a mentor.
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  But I'm going to share something even more simple.
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  I was a nail biter for 50 years.
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  My nails were always short and stubby, and it frustrated me so much.
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  I had tried everything I could possibly think of to get my nails to grow long.
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  Fingernail polish.
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  I'd bite it off, get them long to a certain point, and I'd bite them off because I have a little bit of anxiety.
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  And so that would kick in.
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  Or I'd watch a stressful movie, and I'd bite all my nails off.
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  I mean, it was just one of those things.
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  And finally, one of my daughter's cute friends, she became a nail tech.
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  And finally I went to her and I said, maddie, I have stubby little nails, and I want them to be long.
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  She goes, I can help you with that.
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  I'm like, really?
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  She goes, yeah.
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  And I started going over there, and she started putting this thicker nail gel on my fingers, which meant it was harder to bite them.
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  And when I was harder to buy them, I was like, oh, wait, I'm trying to grow my nails.
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  It's going to be fine.
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  Through the process of several months, all of a sudden, my nails are growing out.
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  She's painting them.
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  They look beautiful.
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  They're long, like they're supposed to be.
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  And I was like, oh, you know what I was missing?
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  I was just missing the right person to help me through this goal that I had failed at and failed at and failed at for a year, decades even, you guys.
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  I just had to reach out and ask the right person to help me.
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  Oh, my goodness.
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  And can I tell you, I've had long, beautiful nails for about three years now.
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  And it makes me so happy because it was such a struggle of mine for so long.
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  So sometimes it takes opening yourself up and saying, yes, I'm being vulnerable here, but I need help with this.
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  And this cute little neighbor of mine was the answer to my problem.
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  There you have it, my friends.
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  Vulnerability is the key to unlocking the help you need.
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  Whether it's a nail tech or a book coach, Mentors help fill in the gap that fear loves to exploit.
• 8:00
  But speaking of fear, sometimes it isn't about what we don't know.
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  It's about who we were when we were 12 years old.
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  Listen, as Amanda and I talk about this huge obstacle, I know that as I was starting to podcast, that was something that was holding me back.
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  I felt like I was hitting up against a brick wall.
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  And it wasn't until I really sat down and pondered and journaled about it that I realized it stemmed back to me being bullied in like sixth grade.
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  And I had kind of formed this thought in my mind that if I put myself out there, I'm going to be bullied.
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  You know, this is 30 some odd years later and I still have this deep seated fear inside of me.
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  And so I really had to write that out and kind of pray through it.
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  Replace that old fear with something good.
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  Maybe you need a little bit of therapy to move forward.
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  Believe me, I have a wonderful Christian therapist.
• 8:54
  And so sometimes you have to work through fears to be able to make progress because something in your past is just kind of has dug its claws in and is holding you back.
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  So I attended this religious leadership meeting and there was a question about a certain individual who wanted to go out and bring others to Christ.
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  He struggled academically in school.
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  He had a harder time making friends.
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  And so the question was, maybe this individual should not go any place where a second language would need to be learned.
• 9:27
  And this religious leader looked at this individual and asked a couple of questions.
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  Why do you believe this about yourself?
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  Why do you believe you cannot learn another language?
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  Then he said, why do others believe you cannot learn another language?
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  So, just getting curious, right, about what is holding you back?
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  And then this question, what would it mean to you if you could learn another language?
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  And then what would your life be like in five years because you achieved learning another language?
• 9:59
  And I just was like, whoa, right?
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  And those were the exact same questions I used when it was time for me to get in front of this principle for my curriculum, right?
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  Like, why do I believe that I don't belong in this space?
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  Why do others believe that do?
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  And then I finally went, others don't believe that I believe that, right?
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  It's my perfectionism.
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  It's my fear, right?
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  And then it was, what would it mean to you if you could do this?
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  Wow, you guys, like, just the joy that fills my heart.
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  When I think about what would it mean to me if I could do this?
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  And where would your life be at in five years if you did do this?
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  Get curious about your fear when you ask where will I be in five years if I do this?
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  The joy starts to outweigh the anxiety.
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  It changes your focus from that wall of fear blocking your progress to the work of God.
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  If you've been sitting on a curriculum, a book or a mission for years, please hear this.
• 11:01
  The world needs the gifts that you are hiding.
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  You are needed.
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  Your learning steps and even your dyslexic typos are exactly what God can use to bless others, trust him and shine your light.
• 11:16
  If you're ready to dismantle your bully wall and find your 5 year vision, go download our free A Guide to Goal Setting for Christian Women.
• 11:24
  It features the Don't Quit Emergency Kit, one of my favorite things.
• 11:28
  And if you need a safe space to work through the Perfection Trap, join us in our Women warriors of Light Accountability group.
• 11:34
  I'll drop the links for both in the notes below.
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  Go.
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  Be brave and vulnerable today.
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  Face your fears with God and perhaps the right mentor.
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  And until next time, may you arise.
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  Do it God's way.
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  God Strong.