Latest / Inner Work With MaryAnn Walker: Life Coach for People Pleasers / 76: Affirm, Aspire, Achieve: Tips for Goal Getters

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76: Affirm, Aspire, Achieve: Tips for Goal Getters · Inner Work With MaryAnn Walker: Life Coach for People Pleasers

• 0:20
  Built-in Microphone: Well, hello, welcome back and happy new year.
• 0:23
  Built-in Microphone: I know that many of my listeners are currently coming up with new year's resolutions.
• 0:28
  Built-in Microphone: And so today I thought it would be kind of fun to explore the idea of affirmations and aspirations and how these play a role in our goal making and our goal Keeping.
• 0:38
  Built-in Microphone: So many people like to use affirmations to support them on their goal journey, which is fantastic.
• 0:44
  Built-in Microphone: But sometimes I hear people saying that, you know what?
• 0:47
  Built-in Microphone: Affirmations, they just don't work for me.
• 0:50
  Built-in Microphone: So I thought we'd kind of explore a few reasons as to why they might not be working and how we can come up with something a little bit more supportive for you.
• 0:57
  Built-in Microphone: So first, what is an affirmation?
• 1:00
  Built-in Microphone: An affirmation is essentially something that we are affirming to be true.
• 1:05
  Built-in Microphone: And so a lot of people use affirmations all the time and they might use affirmations like I am strong, I am wealthy, I am healthy, I am happy.
• 1:14
  Built-in Microphone: And these are awesome affirmations, especially when you really believe them.
• 1:18
  Built-in Microphone: When at least some part of you believes these affirmations, your brain actually starts to look.
• 1:23
  Built-in Microphone: For different ways that these affirmations are true.
• 1:26
  Built-in Microphone: Essentially your brain does the job of looking for evidence to reaffirm that these affirmations are in fact true.
• 1:34
  Built-in Microphone: And it gives you more and more evidence and more and more confidence.
• 1:37
  Built-in Microphone: It's a pretty awesome thing.
• 1:39
  Built-in Microphone: So what happens though, if you don't actually believe those affirmations, what if you really want them to be true, but they're not quite true yet?
• 1:48
  Built-in Microphone: Then what?
• 1:50
  Built-in Microphone: If you don't believe these statements, then your brain is actually going to resist these affirmations.
• 1:56
  Built-in Microphone: And that's when these affirmations, you know, don't work.
• 1:59
  Built-in Microphone: So what happens is your brain is going to think, no, no, no, that's not true.
• 2:03
  Built-in Microphone: Nope.
• 2:04
  Built-in Microphone: You're actually weak and you're poor and you're unhealthy and you're unhappy.
• 2:07
  Built-in Microphone: And here's all of the evidence that these things are true.
• 2:10
  Built-in Microphone: And so unless part of you can really feel and believe into the affirmation, the affirmations will actually be counterproductive.
• 2:18
  Built-in Microphone: Because now your brain is looking for evidence that you are weak and poor and unhealthy and unhappy.
• 2:23
  Built-in Microphone: And it's going to make it significantly more likely that you're going to be sitting on the couch, eating unhealthy foods, and not creating wealth and happiness.
• 2:31
  Built-in Microphone: In the way that you want to.
• 2:33
  Built-in Microphone: So what can we do about it?
• 2:34
  Built-in Microphone: Well, let's talk for a minute about aspirations.
• 2:37
  Built-in Microphone: Now, an aspiration is something that you are aspiring to become.
• 2:42
  Built-in Microphone: It's something that you really want and you haven't quite brought it into fruition yet, but you are on.
• 2:47
  Built-in Microphone: the track to get there.
• 2:48
  Built-in Microphone: So maybe this aspiration is a number on a scale or a number in a bank account, or maybe it's having a degree under your belt or creating the relationship that you really want.
• 2:58
  Built-in Microphone: You are aspiring to have these things and you thought that these affirmations would help you to get there, but there may be instances where it's just not helping.
• 3:07
  Built-in Microphone: So does this mean that affirmations don't work unless you've achieved your goal already, and so there's really no point in trying?
• 3:14
  Built-in Microphone: Absolutely not.
• 3:15
  Built-in Microphone: It just means that you haven't found the right affirmation yet.
• 3:19
  Built-in Microphone: So one really easy way to create more supportive affirmations is to acknowledge the path that you are currently on as you work towards your aspirations.
• 3:30
  Built-in Microphone: So for example, maybe instead of using the affirmation, I am wealthy where your mind is actually going to be giving you a lot of evidence that Nope, you owe them money.
• 3:38
  Built-in Microphone: You owe them money.
• 3:39
  Built-in Microphone: Oh, you can't afford that.
• 3:41
  Built-in Microphone: Your brain might not believe that if you don't feel that you are wealthy yet, but instead you might be able to tweak it a little bit to something like I am finding more and more ways.
• 3:49
  Built-in Microphone: To become financially abundant every day.
• 3:52
  Built-in Microphone: Now, when you do this, you're actually giving your brain an assignment.
• 3:56
  Built-in Microphone: Your brain is going to start looking for evidence that you can and are finding ways to create more financial abundance for yourself.
• 4:04
  Built-in Microphone: So you might actually find yourself deciding to eat at home rather than dining out.
• 4:08
  Built-in Microphone: Maybe you're not going through the drive thru every day at lunch, but you're bringing your own meal.
• 4:13
  Built-in Microphone: Maybe you're actually investing some time each day into learning where to invest your money, or figuring out which ways you can actually cut some corners so that you can really Save a little bit more money, put more money into savings each week.
• 4:25
  Built-in Microphone: Your brain will automatically start to look for ideas for how you can create more wealth and abundance just by tweaking that affirmation just a tiny bit.
• 4:34
  Built-in Microphone: So it includes your aspiration and what it is that you are on track to do, and it can make.
• 4:39
  Built-in Microphone: such a huge difference.
• 4:41
  Built-in Microphone: So let's play around with a few other examples, shall we?
• 4:44
  Built-in Microphone: So let's say that you were using the affirmation, I am fit and healthy.
• 4:48
  Built-in Microphone: And you really are hoping that if you can say that affirmation enough times that you'll be able to very easily lose those last 20 pounds, but it's not quite working.
• 4:57
  Built-in Microphone: So maybe instead you could try tweaking your affirmation a little bit to something like I choose to move my body in healthy ways every day and fuel my body.
• 5:07
  Built-in Microphone: with healthy foods.
• 5:08
  Built-in Microphone: Now, when this happens, your brain is going to start looking for evidence that that is true, right?
• 5:13
  Built-in Microphone: It's going to say, Oh, I wonder in what ways I could move my body in healthy ways today.
• 5:18
  Built-in Microphone: You know what?
• 5:18
  Built-in Microphone: I'm going to park at the back of the parking lot.
• 5:20
  Built-in Microphone: So I have to walk a few more extra steps.
• 5:22
  Built-in Microphone: What a great idea I just had.
• 5:24
  Built-in Microphone: Your brain's going to love that.
• 5:25
  Built-in Microphone: You're going to get a huge dopamine hit or your brain's going to say, Hmm, let's see.
• 5:30
  Built-in Microphone: I could either chew on some crunchy carrots.
• 5:32
  Built-in Microphone: Or, I could open up that bag of chips.
• 5:34
  Built-in Microphone: You know what?
• 5:34
  Built-in Microphone: I think I'm going to go for the carrots.
• 5:36
  Built-in Microphone: Yeah! Look at me! I am making healthy choices every day and fueling my body in healthy ways.
• 5:42
  Built-in Microphone: It is such a small mind shift, but it gives your brain the assignment to look for ways to create those very things that you are aspiring to become.
• 5:51
  Built-in Microphone: Alright, so how about the affirmation?
• 5:53
  Built-in Microphone: I am happy.
• 5:55
  Built-in Microphone: Well, yes, you can 100 percent cultivate emotions.
• 5:58
  Built-in Microphone: And in fact, something I really enjoy doing is just sitting and meditating on a specific emotion, seeing how it feels in my body.
• 6:06
  Built-in Microphone: So for example, with happiness, you could spend 20 minutes just sitting there thinking, okay, how does happiness feel in my body?
• 6:11
  Built-in Microphone: Okay, it feels kind of light and bubbly, it moves from my belly up to my chest.
• 6:16
  Built-in Microphone: You can work to develop these things, but if you are currently experiencing a loss, or grief in a relationship, you might actually find yourself feeling more unhappy because now you're actually kind of essentially shaming yourself anytime you're experiencing an emotion that isn't happy.
• 6:32
  Built-in Microphone: So you're already feeling down and then your brain keeps saying, see, you're not happy.
• 6:36
  Built-in Microphone: You're not happy.
• 6:37
  Built-in Microphone: You're not happy.
• 6:38
  Built-in Microphone: And then you just keep feeling worse.
• 6:41
  Built-in Microphone: So for this one, I kind of want you to think about it a little bit too, as to, you know, sometimes maybe we just need to change how we're thinking about the thing.
• 6:48
  Built-in Microphone: So for example, sometimes I know for me, like I actually want to be sad.
• 6:53
  Built-in Microphone: I don't want to be happy 100 percent of the time.
• 6:57
  Built-in Microphone: And so if somebody tells me, for example, that their dog died, I don't want to say, you know what, I am just so happy for you.
• 7:04
  Built-in Microphone: Instead, I want to choose to sit with them in their grief.
• 7:08
  Built-in Microphone: And the same for me.
• 7:09
  Built-in Microphone: If something happens in my life, I don't want somebody to come in and tell me all of the reasons why this could be the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me.
• 7:16
  Built-in Microphone: I want to find a friend that can sit with me in my grief.
• 7:19
  Built-in Microphone: And so, maybe rather than using the affirmation, I am happy, Then I might choose something that really honors my aspiration to find more joy in life and also just allows a little wiggle room for actual, real life.
• 7:32
  Built-in Microphone: So my new affirmation, it might include phrases like, I am finding things every day that I can be grateful for.
• 7:40
  Built-in Microphone: And this is a great one because it essentially gives the brain the assignment to seek out life's blessings, which will increase happiness over time while also allowing space to embrace everything that life has to offer.
• 7:53
  Built-in Microphone: So other affirmations might include, I am finding ways to create joyful moments in my life.
• 7:58
  Built-in Microphone: Or, I am finding reasons to smile.
• 8:00
  Built-in Microphone: Every day.
• 8:02
  Built-in Microphone: So notice how these small shifts, they can lead you towards your aspiration of finding more joy and happiness in life.
• 8:08
  Built-in Microphone: But they're worded in such a way that it helps to reduce the resistance in the body mind and help you to create something that is more supportive for you.
• 8:18
  Built-in Microphone: So take a moment today to really think about what your goals are for this coming year and then really feel into your affirmations.
• 8:25
  Built-in Microphone: And really think, okay, so does that feel like something that at least part of me can believe?
• 8:29
  Built-in Microphone: and hope towards?
• 8:30
  Built-in Microphone: Does this feel supportive?
• 8:32
  Built-in Microphone: Does it feel believable?
• 8:34
  Built-in Microphone: So because I really love and appreciate all of you, I want to offer you 100 bridge thoughts to support you on your journey.
• 8:41
  Built-in Microphone: Now a bridge thought is a thought that helps us get from here to there.
• 8:44
  Built-in Microphone: So if you're having a hard time believing me, I am rich, I am healthy, I am wealthy, I am loved.
• 8:50
  Built-in Microphone: If you're having a hard time believing those things wholeheartedly, these bridge thoughts can help to honor and acknowledge your aspiration of becoming those things, but I can word things in such a way to help the body mind to reduce its resistance.
• 9:03
  Built-in Microphone: So you can be more open to experiencing that.
• 9:05
  Built-in Microphone: So for these 100 bridge thoughts, it's going to include 25 thoughts to support you in your health, 25 for wealth, 25 for relationships, and 25 for self worth.
• 9:16
  Built-in Microphone: And I'm going to share five of each of those categories here.
• 9:19
  Built-in Microphone: So you can kind of get an idea of what to.
• 9:22
  Built-in Microphone: So I will be including a link in the show notes where you can just enter your email and get access to those 100 Bridge Thoughts absolutely free.
• 9:28
  Built-in Microphone: It is my New Year's gift to you.
• 9:31
  Built-in Microphone: And so yeah, so I'm going to go ahead and share a sampling of what you can expect.
• 9:35
  Built-in Microphone: And just kind of notice.
• 9:36
  Built-in Microphone: How each of these feel in your body.
• 9:39
  Built-in Microphone: So the goal is for them to help you to feel like this is believable and that your goal is achievable.
• 9:45
  Built-in Microphone: And so if these thoughts don't create that for you, you 100% have my permission to tweak these thoughts in whatever way that you need to to create something that is more supportive for you.
• 9:55
  Built-in Microphone: Okay, so here are some thoughts around personal health.
• 9:59
  Built-in Microphone: I am finding ways to move my body in healthy ways.
• 10:02
  Built-in Microphone: It feels good.
• 10:04
  Built-in Microphone: I am finding easy ways to stay hydrated.
• 10:08
  Built-in Microphone: I am learning to eat only when I am hungry.
• 10:12
  Built-in Microphone: I am learning to express gratitude for my body.
• 10:17
  Built-in Microphone: I am seeking out and finding evidence that the changes I am making are making a difference.
• 10:23
  Built-in Microphone: And I love this one in particular because it really pushes the mind to do activities that create that evidence that, yeah, that is making a difference.
• 10:31
  Built-in Microphone: Yes, I am making changes.
• 10:34
  Built-in Microphone: I love that one.
• 10:35
  Built-in Microphone: Okay, so here's a few thoughts for wealth.
• 10:37
  Built-in Microphone: I am adding more and more value into this world each and every day.
• 10:42
  Built-in Microphone: I am so grateful that I am learning to better manage my finances.
• 10:47
  Built-in Microphone: I am learning to accept and receive money graciously.
• 10:51
  Built-in Microphone: I am opening myself up to receiving more wealth and abundance.
• 10:56
  Built-in Microphone: I am noticing that I am becoming more and more mindful of my spending.
• 11:01
  Built-in Microphone: Okay, here are five for relationships.
• 11:05
  Built-in Microphone: I am better able to connect with others when I manage my own mind.
• 11:09
  Built-in Microphone: I am learning to make even more healthy connections.
• 11:13
  Built-in Microphone: I am learning to connect with others from a place of wholeness.
• 11:18
  Built-in Microphone: I am starting to see that I am better able to connect with others when I love and accept myself.
• 11:25
  Built-in Microphone: I no longer give or over give to get affection or avoid rejection.
• 11:30
  Built-in Microphone: And that one is especially good for the people pleasers, so I'm going to go ahead and repeat that.
• 11:34
  Built-in Microphone: I no longer give or overgive to get affection or avoid rejection.
• 11:41
  Built-in Microphone: Alright, here are five on self worth.
• 11:43
  Built-in Microphone: I am treating my time and energy as the valuable resource that it is.
• 11:49
  Built-in Microphone: I am so grateful for the ways that I have invested in me.
• 11:53
  Built-in Microphone: Now do you see how even when I say that out loud, your brain's going to go, Oh, in what ways can I invest in me today?
• 11:58
  Built-in Microphone: That's a fun one.
• 11:59
  Built-in Microphone: All right.
• 11:59
  Built-in Microphone: I am choosing to honor my relationship with me as my most important relationship.
• 12:06
  Built-in Microphone: I am choosing to compliment myself more and more each day.
• 12:10
  Built-in Microphone: I am learning that my wants and desires are at least as valid.
• 12:15
  Built-in Microphone: person.
• 12:17
  Built-in Microphone: So again, just kind of notice how each of these feel for you.
• 12:19
  Built-in Microphone: Notice if you have any resistance coming up and feel free to tweak these in whatever way you need to, to make them yours.
• 12:27
  Built-in Microphone: And just as a reminder, go ahead and click the link in the show notes where you can print off 100 bridge thoughts to help you in each of these categories to help you to get to where you are now.
• 12:36
  Built-in Microphone: To where it is that you would like to go in 2024, 2024 can be your year and your thoughts will make all the difference.
• 12:46
  Built-in Microphone: And of course, if you find yourself wishing that you had a little bit more external support when it comes to your goals and managing your mind, come and work with me.
• 12:54
  Built-in Microphone: I am here to help you to find more supportive thoughts for you so that you can create a life that you love.
• 13:00
  Built-in Microphone: All right Here's to not only a great week, but a great year.
• 13:03
  Built-in Microphone: You have got this.
• 13:05
  Built-in Microphone: So have a great one and let's talk soon All right.
• 13:07
  Built-in Microphone: Bye now