Latest / INSPIRE STORY / #0200_ Austin Taliban — Texas, Politics, Culture, Chaos & Dark Humor

Transcript

#0200_ Austin Taliban — Texas, Politics, Culture, Chaos & Dark Humor · INSPIRE STORY

0:00
Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show, adjusting
0:03
Speaker 1: to Taliban rule in Afghanistan. Clarissa Ward, the journalist who
0:11
Speaker 1: famously called the Taliban friendly, which everyone got mad about,
0:17
Speaker 1: but they were being friendly. They were chanting death to America,
0:21
Speaker 1: but they were chanting it in a fun way. And
0:24
Speaker 1: then all the people jumped on her. They were like, oh,
0:27
Speaker 1: CNN will describe any of America's enemies as friendly. It's like, hey,
0:34
Speaker 1: you know, they were ebullient. They were happy. They had won.
0:41
Speaker 1: There's no reason for them to not be friendly. They won.
0:44
Speaker 1: The Taliban won. All these people that are like, no,
0:47
Speaker 1: they didn't really win. They won. What do you call it?
0:51
Speaker 1: We were... We were thrown out of the country. You know,
0:57
Speaker 1: they threw us out. They waited 20 years of painstaking,
1:02
Speaker 1: taking these little towns and villages that nobody gave a
1:05
Speaker 1: fuck about, building their power base back. 20 years fighting
1:09
Speaker 1: for Afghanistan. And they finally did it. And they're thrilled.
1:15
Speaker 1: They're very happy. Which is why as they're chanting death
1:18
Speaker 1: to America, there's something... They're friendly. There is a happiness.
1:24
Speaker 1: But Clarissa Ward finally left the country. She was able
1:28
Speaker 1: to leave on an evacuation flight. These flights at the
1:32
Speaker 1: Afghan airport, I mean, this airport, I mean, it's worse
1:35
Speaker 1: than LaGuardia. That's how bad it is over there. I mean,
1:43
Speaker 1: it's really bad. And everyone's saying that we should... This
1:55
Speaker 1: isn't the one you pay for. But this guy, now
1:59
Speaker 1: this is sad. A 19-year-old Afghan footballer, this is like tragic,
2:04
Speaker 1: was among those who fell from a USC-17 military aircraft
2:11
Speaker 1: after rescuing people from Taliban-ruled region. This is the tragedy of...
2:18
Speaker 1: this type of event when there's a coup. Um, and
2:22
Speaker 1: you see it here and I don't know if you
2:24
Speaker 1: can see that, but you see bodies falling from the
2:29
Speaker 1: plane and it's fucking heartbreaking that this is what happened
2:36
Speaker 1: when you have that general, that moron, uh, Millie, I
2:40
Speaker 1: think is his name, who's going, I saw no indication. Oh, yeah, yeah.
2:44
Speaker 1: I had no idea. We saw nothing. There was no
2:47
Speaker 1: indication that the Taliban was taking over. We had no
2:50
Speaker 1: idea this was going to happen. This is the same
2:53
Speaker 1: guy that gave that speech a couple of months ago
2:55
Speaker 1: where he's like, I want to learn why white people hate.
2:58
Speaker 1: Remember that? That guy who was sitting there like he
3:01
Speaker 1: was doing a monologue. You know, from a new Shonda
3:07
Speaker 1: Rhimes project on Netflix. He was like, I want to
3:10
Speaker 1: learn why white people hate. I want to know. Well,
3:15
Speaker 1: how about you find out why the fucking country was
3:20
Speaker 1: taken over by the Taliban? Isn't that your job? Shouldn't
3:24
Speaker 1: you devote at least as much time to finding out
3:30
Speaker 1: why Afghanistan is failing miserably as you do to wanting
3:35
Speaker 1: to find out why white people hate your words? And
3:40
Speaker 1: this is, you know, America has no credibility now. And
3:43
Speaker 1: by the way, it really didn't have a ton of
3:45
Speaker 1: credibility leading into this last couple of years. But now
3:50
Speaker 1: we have none. Like imagine going into a country now
3:54
Speaker 1: with a straight face and telling them like, we take
3:56
Speaker 1: care of our people. Don't worry about it. We take
4:00
Speaker 1: care of our people. If you work for us, you
4:03
Speaker 1: help us. If you're a translator, if you help us
4:07
Speaker 1: gather intelligence, when shit hits the fan, we've got your back.
4:12
Speaker 1: We don't leave people. I mean, there's video evidence. There is,
4:18
Speaker 1: you could, like, anyone they're telling that to should just
4:20
Speaker 1: pull up a YouTube link and be like, actually, what
4:24
Speaker 1: about this? You have this young, good-looking, 19-year-old football player
4:30
Speaker 1: whose entire life is over because he trusted the United States.
4:36
Speaker 1: That is what's tragic about it. This guy's entire life
4:40
Speaker 1: is over because he trusted the United States. A member
4:44
Speaker 1: of Afghanistan's national youth soccer team was among the people
4:48
Speaker 1: who were killed as they tried desperately to cling to
4:50
Speaker 1: a U.S. military plane evacuating people from Kabul. He was 17,
4:55
Speaker 1: this guy. Jeez, I thought some say 19, some say 17. Monday,
4:59
Speaker 1: a crowd of Afghans surged on the tarmac of the
5:02
Speaker 1: international airport in the frantic scramble to escape a country
5:05
Speaker 1: newly overrun by the Taliban. Anwari was one of hundreds
5:08
Speaker 1: of people who wanted to leave the country and in
5:10
Speaker 1: an incident fell off an American military plane and died.
5:14
Speaker 1: The sports community of Afghanistan was in grief. The statement
5:18
Speaker 1: said it wished the Zaki a place in heaven and
5:20
Speaker 1: offered a prayer that God grant. I mean, this is
5:22
Speaker 1: so fucking sad. And this is unfortunately what happens when
5:29
Speaker 1: you trust the United States of America. I mean, there's
5:33
Speaker 1: no other way to say it. I feel horrible for him.
5:37
Speaker 1: Now I'm going to be a bit, I'm going to
5:43
Speaker 1: be a little, and I, I might, it may come
5:49
Speaker 1: off as insensitive, not about him. But I may, this
5:55
Speaker 1: may read a bit callous. I'm less concerned with the
6:03
Speaker 1: people who went there to do charity. Now, here's why.
6:09
Speaker 1: This is real charity. Most people, when they do charity,
6:13
Speaker 1: they like write a check and they go to some event,
6:17
Speaker 1: you know, in Manhattan or Bel Air. They go to
6:21
Speaker 1: somebody's mansion and they buy a $ 50, 000 dress and they
6:24
Speaker 1: write a $ 25, 000 check and it is a social event, charity. True.
6:33
Speaker 1: Philanthropy in cities like New York and places like LA
6:37
Speaker 1: is how you rise up the ladder of the social
6:42
Speaker 1: scene in that city. This is not that. This is
6:49
Speaker 1: real charity. Real life. You are putting yourself in danger.
6:55
Speaker 1: You're putting yourself at risk to help people. Nothing wrong
7:01
Speaker 1: with that. But... Here we go. When things go wrong
7:08
Speaker 1: as they have, this is when charity becomes even more real.
7:16
Speaker 1: This no longer is a feel-good thing. Afghanistan's no longer
7:23
Speaker 1: a place for white women to go find themselves and
7:27
Speaker 1: just connect and feel and like, I just want to
7:31
Speaker 1: get away from San Francisco for a while. I just
7:34
Speaker 1: want to go. No, no, no, no, no. You're in
7:37
Speaker 1: it now. You are now living in Afghanistan and listen,
7:45
Speaker 1: Some charity, most charity, I would imagine is good people,
7:49
Speaker 1: great people per se, helping other people. But there is
7:53
Speaker 1: some charity that's a little cynical. There is some charity
7:59
Speaker 1: where it's white people who want to like show the
8:03
Speaker 1: world that they're a little different and they care, even
8:08
Speaker 1: though do they? And not always white people, but primarily white.
8:13
Speaker 1: And then they go to places like Afghanistan and they
8:16
Speaker 1: do like, you know, whatever, whatever they're doing, you know,
8:19
Speaker 1: you know, they, they distribute, um, you know, iPads to,
8:24
Speaker 1: to the women and let them listen to call her daddy. Well,
8:27
Speaker 1: that is now over. That is now over. Call her
8:30
Speaker 1: daddy has been banned in Afghanistan. The Soho house Kabul
8:35
Speaker 1: is closed. Okay. So now, yes. I mean, Ann Coulter said,
8:41
Speaker 1: everyone's like, oh, these Americans got to get evacuated from Kabul.
8:46
Speaker 1: She goes, who the hell is in Kabul? But listen,
8:51
Speaker 1: there are people there. There are good people there. No doubt.
8:54
Speaker 1: There are people there who went to that country to
8:59
Speaker 1: genuinely help women and people. But then there are people
9:04
Speaker 1: there who were cynically exploiting a situation. And this happens
9:11
Speaker 1: all the time. And some of these charities are CIA
9:16
Speaker 1: front groups. We know that. Knowingly or unknowingly. And they know.
9:22
Speaker 1: And some people are there. to genuinely help. And some
9:26
Speaker 1: people are there because it's, you know, it's maybe more
9:30
Speaker 1: about them and it's more about them. I've talked to people,
9:35
Speaker 1: and I'm not just talking here. Everyone goes, you're just
9:38
Speaker 1: talking with your fat mouth. No, I have spoken to
9:43
Speaker 1: people that have gone to these countries under the guise
9:47
Speaker 1: of being a savior, of helping people. And you know
9:51
Speaker 1: what some of the... And I'm not speaking about only
9:54
Speaker 1: the military, although I have spoken to members of the military,
9:57
Speaker 1: but I'm talking about people that have worked in... the
10:00
Speaker 1: capacity of charity. And you know what some of them
10:04
Speaker 1: have told me? Some of them have said, you know,
10:08
Speaker 1: going there and helping, I realized that the people of
10:13
Speaker 1: the country did not want me there. And this is
10:20
Speaker 1: a hard lesson to learn, but it is a lesson
10:22
Speaker 1: to learn. They go, we were not culturally in sync. Yes,
10:27
Speaker 1: there were things I did that helped them. They were
10:30
Speaker 1: grateful for certain things. But overall, on the whole, it was,
10:38
Speaker 1: you know, I don't want to say a wasted effort.
10:42
Speaker 1: but it was perhaps a little in vain because some
10:46
Speaker 1: of it is vanity. Some of it is, it's why
10:49
Speaker 1: I didn't go over to Afghanistan and start teaching women
10:54
Speaker 1: to read. Now people say to me, well, that sounds
11:00
Speaker 1: like you don't care. I care. The problem is that
11:08
Speaker 1: you're fighting against the ocean and the ocean is always
11:15
Speaker 1: going to win. The waves are going to win. They're
11:16
Speaker 1: going to knock you back down. And I believe there's
11:21
Speaker 1: a lot of charity to be done in America. I know.
11:24
Speaker 1: I don't know how I got that idea. But I'm
11:27
Speaker 1: telling you, if you take a road trip through America,
11:31
Speaker 1: you're going to be convinced, as I am, that there
11:34
Speaker 1: are tons of people to help right here. Doesn't mean
11:38
Speaker 1: that you shouldn't help people over there, but there's a
11:42
Speaker 1: lot of people to be helped right here. But that's
11:45
Speaker 1: not as glamorous. Let's be honest. That's not as sexy
11:49
Speaker 1: to tell your friends that you went to Vassar with
11:51
Speaker 1: that you're helping people in Ohio. You want to tell
11:54
Speaker 1: them that you're helping people in Kabul. Let's be very honest.
11:58
Speaker 1: And today is when you have to pay the piper.
12:02
Speaker 1: You have to really be the thing that you want
12:05
Speaker 1: to be. Truly, if you really want to be the
12:09
Speaker 1: person who's like, yeah, I'm in Kabul right now, like
12:14
Speaker 1: teaching people how to rad. Well, today's the day that
12:18
Speaker 1: that just became real. That's all. You may have to
12:23
Speaker 1: join the resistance. I want to read this thread. This
12:27
Speaker 1: is a great thread, and we did a great episode
12:29
Speaker 1: on the Patreon about this, because this era, which spanned
12:35
Speaker 1: 20 years, my awakening into U.S. foreign policy maybe happened...
12:46
Speaker 1: in the most meaningful way possible, with the onset of
12:51
Speaker 1: the Afghanistan war, because I was in 11th grade and
12:54
Speaker 1: all of a sudden things mattered in a way they
12:56
Speaker 1: hadn't before. Friends of mine, their parents died in 9-11.
13:01
Speaker 1: Friends of mine were joining the military and were becoming
13:04
Speaker 1: Marines and things like that. The onset of the Afghan
13:08
Speaker 1: war was when our country's foreign policy was more than
13:12
Speaker 1: something that I looked at in, you know, a theoretical way.
13:18
Speaker 1: This became real. And, um, I, when I was 17
13:23
Speaker 1: and addicted to cocaine, I thought it was a great idea.
13:27
Speaker 1: I thought all this cause I was very face value.
13:30
Speaker 1: And when I read a Tom Friedman article in the
13:32
Speaker 1: New York times and he was like, the world has
13:35
Speaker 1: gone from interconnected to hyperconnect, you know, all these things
13:38
Speaker 1: that mean nothing, but you're like, yeah, I'm smart. I'm smart.
13:43
Speaker 1: And then Tom Friedman would write an article where he'd go,
13:45
Speaker 1: you know, I saw a kid in an Osama bin
13:47
Speaker 1: Laden shirt and a Yankees cap, and we need to
13:49
Speaker 1: make sure he grows into the cap. And I'd go, yeah, yeah,
13:54
Speaker 1: that's something he wrote. And I'd go, yeah, that's smart.
13:57
Speaker 1: That's smart. And I believed, you know, that if we
14:01
Speaker 1: went around the world and helped free these people, they
14:06
Speaker 1: would love us again. I was on cocaine. I had
14:11
Speaker 1: an excuse. I was a 17-year-old closeted cocaine addict from
14:16
Speaker 1: Long Island whose emotions were completely out of whack with
14:20
Speaker 1: his thoughts. I was just feeling things and not thinking.
14:25
Speaker 1: I remember just going, yeah, like you'd sit on the
14:28
Speaker 1: bus and you'd watch some... That was like the era
14:31
Speaker 1: of like patriotic montages and, you know, the concert for
14:36
Speaker 1: 9-11 and, you know, Bruce Springsteen and The Who and
14:39
Speaker 1: all these people and... you know, it was a, it
14:41
Speaker 1: was a big thing and it was a beautiful moment
14:43
Speaker 1: for the country because we had just attacked ourself. And
14:47
Speaker 1: then after that we had, you know, we launched into
14:50
Speaker 1: this very kind of beautiful campaign of, of healing and,
14:55
Speaker 1: you know, patriotism and, but it felt good and it
14:58
Speaker 1: felt like this is right. And I remember I wanted
15:01
Speaker 1: to join the military. I thought about it. I was
15:03
Speaker 1: looking one day in the library, you know, I like
15:05
Speaker 1: never went to class. I was in study hall in
15:07
Speaker 1: the library and Looking at like requirements to join the
15:10
Speaker 1: CIA because when you're young and something like that happens,
15:13
Speaker 1: you go, I want to live a life of meaning
15:16
Speaker 1: and purpose. And look at these dumb teachers. They don't
15:19
Speaker 1: fucking do anything. And all these entertainers and celebrities and.
15:23
Speaker 1: You know, all this fame and money, the two things
15:25
Speaker 1: now I've realized are the only things that matter. But
15:28
Speaker 1: back then I thought that what really mattered was honor
15:32
Speaker 1: and valor and serving a purpose higher than yourself. God,
15:37
Speaker 1: was I wrong. But I thought for a moment, a
15:40
Speaker 1: brief moment, right after that happened, that actually life was
15:43
Speaker 1: about helping other people. It was about agreeing that certain
15:47
Speaker 1: things were right and certain things were wrong and going
15:50
Speaker 1: to the places where wrong was being done and reversing
15:53
Speaker 1: it and making it right, making the world a better place.
15:56
Speaker 1: That's what I genuinely believed on cocaine in the library
16:01
Speaker 1: of my high school. And I would, you know, say,
16:04
Speaker 1: how do I get into the FBI? How do I
16:06
Speaker 1: go and frame people? How do I get into the CIA?
16:10
Speaker 1: How do I blackmail doctors to not give kids medicine
16:14
Speaker 1: so that we can figure out a way for ExxonMobil
16:16
Speaker 1: to do more efficient business? I didn't know. You see,
16:20
Speaker 1: I thought the CIA was like a crack squad of
16:22
Speaker 1: people that were like, there's a bomb on that bus.
16:25
Speaker 1: They're going to kill babies. And the CIA would like
16:28
Speaker 1: jump through the windows of the bus and get the
16:31
Speaker 1: bomb and then like throw it in a field and
16:33
Speaker 1: it would blow up. And then the bus driver would
16:35
Speaker 1: be like, and he'd be an old black man, not
16:37
Speaker 1: because he's racist, because my bus driver, Keith, who I
16:40
Speaker 1: loved as an old black man. And he'd be like,
16:41
Speaker 1: thank you, CIA. And he would just drive the kids
16:45
Speaker 1: to the school. That's what I thought was happening. But
16:48
Speaker 1: I was so wrong about that. I come to find
16:51
Speaker 1: out after many years of reading books and rehab, I,
16:55
Speaker 1: I found out that I was wrong. I was wrong.
16:59
Speaker 1: I started to get control of my emotions, get control
17:02
Speaker 1: of what was going on. But for a while there,
17:04
Speaker 1: I didn't. I was just sitting in the library of
17:07
Speaker 1: Holy Trinity High School, drugged up, stoned or coked out
17:12
Speaker 1: and eating some really good meatball parm, chicken parm lunches, phenomenal,
17:17
Speaker 1: really good. especially for high school, but really for anywhere. And, uh,
17:21
Speaker 1: and the Friday bacon cheeseburger day. And then you would
17:24
Speaker 1: just be stoned and eat. And then you would just
17:26
Speaker 1: kind of stare at the computer and you would just go,
17:29
Speaker 1: I want to live a life of meaning and intrigue
17:32
Speaker 1: and purpose. And I, I didn't know anything. And I
17:37
Speaker 1: remember I had friends of mine that became, uh, Marines.
17:40
Speaker 1: I had friends of mine that went, uh, into the service.
17:45
Speaker 1: And some of them served multiple tours. And I, I
17:49
Speaker 1: visited a few of them, like, you know, down in
17:52
Speaker 1: North Carolina, Camp Lejeune. And I, um, my voice is
17:57
Speaker 1: starting to go. I got to be careful. I did
17:59
Speaker 1: a show last night at the Vulcan gas company in Austin.
18:01
Speaker 1: That was a lot of fun, but everybody was smoking
18:03
Speaker 1: in the green room and it was like, it gets
18:04
Speaker 1: my throat and I haven't smoked in two months. So
18:08
Speaker 1: now this was somebody who I believed served. They did serve.
18:11
Speaker 1: They were deployed there twice, once in 2018, once in
18:15
Speaker 1: 2009 or 10. This is as painful and brutal an
18:20
Speaker 1: assessment as you can read. Looking at all the life lost,
18:25
Speaker 1: which is more important, but also the amount of money spent,
18:28
Speaker 1: the resources diverted to this engagement, which again, we know
18:35
Speaker 1: the cynical outlook. We covered on the Patreon, you know,
18:39
Speaker 1: the chaos, the Pentagon losing all this money, the rare
18:44
Speaker 1: earth minerals that are under Afghanistan, the pipeline deals, the
18:47
Speaker 1: fucking poppy fields. We get it all. We don't know
18:51
Speaker 1: the full extent of the pillaging and the things that
18:54
Speaker 1: happened And we won't know the full extent of that
18:58
Speaker 1: probably for years or until some real investigative journalism is done.
19:02
Speaker 1: But this thread, this screed really sat with me because
19:06
Speaker 1: I was like, God, it's tough to read this at
19:10
Speaker 1: knowing what we know now. But it says, boy, howdy,
19:13
Speaker 1: am I having a lot of feelings about Afghanistan today.
19:15
Speaker 1: I was deployed there twice, once in 2008 and once
19:18
Speaker 1: in 2009-10. It was already obvious that the Taliban would
19:23
Speaker 1: sweep through the very instant we left, and here we
19:25
Speaker 1: are today. I know how bad the Taliban is. I
19:30
Speaker 1: know what they do to women and little boys. I
19:33
Speaker 1: know what they're going to do to the interpreters and
19:35
Speaker 1: the people who cooperated with. It's awful. It's bad. But
19:38
Speaker 1: we are leaving, and all I feel is grim relief.
19:41
Speaker 1: Afghanistan is a dusty, beige nightmare of a place full
19:44
Speaker 1: of proud, brave people who did not want us fucking there.
19:49
Speaker 1: And we called them Hajj. and worse, and they were
19:50
Speaker 1: better than we were braver and stronger and smarter. I
19:53
Speaker 1: remember going through the phone to the people we detained
19:55
Speaker 1: and finding clip after clip of Bollywood musicals, women singing
19:59
Speaker 1: in fields of flowers. Rarely did I find anything incriminating.
20:03
Speaker 1: I remember finding propaganda footage cut together from the Soviet
20:06
Speaker 1: invasion and our own operation enduring, enduring whatever. And laughing
20:12
Speaker 1: about how stupid Afghans were not to know that we
20:14
Speaker 1: weren't the Russians. And eventually I started realizing I was
20:17
Speaker 1: the stupid one. I remember how every year the U.S.
20:21
Speaker 1: would have to decide how to deal with the opium fields.
20:22
Speaker 1: You could let them alone and then the Taliban would
20:24
Speaker 1: shake the farmers down and use the money to buy weapons.
20:28
Speaker 1: Or you could carpet bomb the fields and then the
20:30
Speaker 1: farmers would join the Taliban. Or you could give the
20:34
Speaker 1: farmers fertilizer as an incentive to grow wheat instead of
20:36
Speaker 1: opium poppy. And the farmers would sell the fertilizer to
20:40
Speaker 1: the Taliban who used it to make explosives for IEDs
20:43
Speaker 1: that could destroy a million dollar MRAP, whatever it is,
20:47
Speaker 1: and maim everyone inside. I remember we weren't allowed to
20:50
Speaker 1: throw batteries away because people who worked on base would
20:53
Speaker 1: go through the trash and collect hundreds of dead batteries,
20:55
Speaker 1: wire them together so that they just had enough juice
20:58
Speaker 1: for one charge and that charge to detonate an IED.
21:02
Speaker 1: I remember the look on my roommate's face after she
21:04
Speaker 1: got back from cutting the dead bodies of two soldiers
21:07
Speaker 1: out of a Humvee that got blown up by an IED.
21:10
Speaker 1: And I have always imagined that was made with fertilizer
21:13
Speaker 1: from an opium farmer and detonated with 100 thrown out batteries.
21:17
Speaker 1: I remembered an Afghan kid who worked in the DFAC cafeteria,
21:20
Speaker 1: who we called Cowboy. Always wore this cowboy hat and
21:23
Speaker 1: an I'm with Stupid t-shirt someone had given him, always
21:25
Speaker 1: with a big smile, high school age. Cowboy was a
21:28
Speaker 1: good student, and he wanted to go to college in America,
21:30
Speaker 1: but there weren't colleges that took Afghans. The education system
21:33
Speaker 1: was too shit. No program to help kids like him.
21:36
Speaker 1: I looked. I wonder if he's dead now for serving
21:39
Speaker 1: his food and dreaming of something different. But if Cowboy
21:42
Speaker 1: is dead, then he died a long time ago. And
21:44
Speaker 1: if Cowboy is dead, then it's our fault for going
21:46
Speaker 1: in there in the first place, giving his family the
21:48
Speaker 1: option of trusting us when we are the least trustworthy
21:51
Speaker 1: people on the planet. We use people up and throw
21:54
Speaker 1: them away like it's nothing. And now we're leaving, and
21:57
Speaker 1: the predictable thing is happening. The Taliban is surging in
22:00
Speaker 1: and taking it all back. They have what you can't
22:03
Speaker 1: buy or train. They have patience and a bloody-mindedness that
22:05
Speaker 1: warrants more respect than we ever gave them. I am
22:09
Speaker 1: team to get the fuck out of Afghanistan, which as
22:11
Speaker 1: a friend pointed out to me today has always been
22:13
Speaker 1: team Taliban. It's team Taliban or team stay forever. There
22:18
Speaker 1: is no third team. So I'm sitting here reading these
22:20
Speaker 1: sad fucking tweets about the suffering in Afghanistan and the
22:22
Speaker 1: horror of the encroaching Taliban and how awful it is
22:26
Speaker 1: that this is happening. But I can't stop feeling this
22:28
Speaker 1: grim happiness. Like finally, you fuckers. Finally, you get to
22:31
Speaker 1: see it too. No more blown up soldiers. No more
22:34
Speaker 1: Bollywood videos on phones whose owners are getting shipped to
22:36
Speaker 1: God knows where. No more hypocrisy. No more pretending it
22:39
Speaker 1: meant anything it didn't. It didn't mean a fucking thing. Wow.
22:44
Speaker 1: What a thread. And it is crazy. But if you
22:49
Speaker 1: remember the beginning of the Afghan war, we were just
22:52
Speaker 1: sweeping people up. Some of them terrorists, some of them not.
22:56
Speaker 1: And sending them to places like Guantanamo Bay, sending them
22:58
Speaker 1: to Bagram, which I believe is in Afghanistan. It might
23:01
Speaker 1: have been in Iraq. Sending them to places to, I
23:03
Speaker 1: think it was in Afghanistan, Bagram Air Force Base. It's Afghanistan. Yes.
23:07
Speaker 1: Sending them to places like the salt pit to be tortured.
23:11
Speaker 1: Look that up. Look up the salt, Bagram salt. Yeah.
23:18
Speaker 1: The salt pit was a black prison. Okay? Meaning that
23:23
Speaker 1: it was a CIA black site for interrogation. It's located
23:27
Speaker 1: north of Kabul and was the location of a brick
23:29
Speaker 1: factory prior to the Afghanistan war. That's where we would
23:32
Speaker 1: bring people and torture them. Because we were there to
23:36
Speaker 1: help them. You see? We were there to help them
23:39
Speaker 1: and we would bring them to this underground prison, this
23:43
Speaker 1: brick factory here, and torture them mercilessly until they gave
23:48
Speaker 1: us some type of information and people were tortured to
23:51
Speaker 1: death and died there. And how do you think that
23:54
Speaker 1: made the people in Afghanistan feel? Do you think we
23:57
Speaker 1: lost a few hearts and minds with that, with the
24:01
Speaker 1: salt pit? Do you think perhaps, yeah, ex-U.S. detainees describe
24:06
Speaker 1: unreported CIA torture? You know, I mean, it's like... Jesus,
24:11
Speaker 1: electric chair threats. Yes, yeah. Water torture, waterboarding, beatings. Threatened
24:18
Speaker 1: with electric chair. They would put people in boxes and
24:20
Speaker 1: put bugs in there. Let them crawl on them. I mean,
24:23
Speaker 1: this was, again, this was how we were going to
24:27
Speaker 1: break the spirit of these people. Well, guess what? It
24:29
Speaker 1: didn't work. Didn't work. We lost this one and we lost.
24:35
Speaker 1: And there's, there's no other way to, yes, we could
24:37
Speaker 1: drop a bombs and nukes or whatever, but we lost
24:40
Speaker 1: the ground game here. Big time. We didn't have the will,
24:43
Speaker 1: nor should we have the will. We're fighting for Afghanistan. Um,
24:49
Speaker 1: and this sucks. It sucks across the board. It sucks
24:53
Speaker 1: for the Afghans. It thought that we're going to have
24:54
Speaker 1: a different life. It sucks for the soldiers who died
24:58
Speaker 1: and their deaths. Don't don't mean anything. It sucks for
25:02
Speaker 1: the people that went over there to do some charity.
25:05
Speaker 1: That sucks. If you're still there, it's, you know, it
25:09
Speaker 1: really is going to test how much you believe. I mean,
25:14
Speaker 1: you know, show the Afghan airport, show that plane leaving.
25:21
Speaker 1: This is a very, this is a crazy scene to watch.
25:28
Speaker 1: You see this C-17 plane. This is a wild video
25:36
Speaker 1: to watch if you haven't seen it, which I'm sure
25:39
Speaker 1: you have. And I'm telling you right now, there's a
25:45
Speaker 1: few days here before, as I said on the Patreon,
25:47
Speaker 1: we're going to get a media blackout. And once there's
25:49
Speaker 1: a media blackout, it's pretty much, you know, we're pretty
25:55
Speaker 1: much done. No one's going to care anymore. So now that,
25:59
Speaker 1: look at this. Okay, Ben, this is the wrong video.
26:02
Speaker 1: This is a scene of Austin, Texas. This is a
26:04
Speaker 1: scene of people leaving Austin, Texas. Look at this. They're
26:09
Speaker 1: all leaving. Look at this scene of people running down
26:14
Speaker 1: South Congress to get out of Austin, Texas to go
26:19
Speaker 1: back to a real city. That's the Austin airport. There's
26:25
Speaker 1: all the comics that moved here. They thought they were
26:27
Speaker 1: going to be on Joe Rogan's show every week. They
26:31
Speaker 1: are going to, comics are going to leave Austin like
26:35
Speaker 1: Afghani translators that worked with the Department of Defense. They
26:39
Speaker 1: are going to get on planes so quickly and get
26:41
Speaker 1: the fuck out of there. Because they all thought they
26:44
Speaker 1: were coming down here to do Rogan's show. You know?
26:51
Speaker 1: And then he had some guy that he like, you know,
26:54
Speaker 1: hunted for Bigfoot wood for the ninth time. And all
26:58
Speaker 1: these comics are sitting here in Austin going, wait a minute,
27:00
Speaker 1: when's my time? You better cling to that plane and
27:06
Speaker 1: get out. Leaving your house is whatever. I like DoorDash.
27:13
Speaker 1: A little help from DoorDash. You can get dinner, household essentials,
27:17
Speaker 1: and everything on your grocery list delivered. Ever pull into
27:20
Speaker 1: the driveway after a trip to the grocery store only
27:22
Speaker 1: to realize you forgot that one key ingredient for dinner?
27:25
Speaker 1: Now you have options. Get the groceries you need or
27:28
Speaker 1: a backup meal from your favorite local restaurant delivered with DoorDash.
27:31
Speaker 1: So they will deliver you groceries, food, everything. They'll connect
27:35
Speaker 1: you with everything you want. It's time to get back
27:37
Speaker 1: out there. But if you're not quite ready for a
27:40
Speaker 1: full-blown adventure, there's still ways to explore the world from
27:43
Speaker 1: the comfort of your home. DoorDash has got 300,000 partners.
27:49
Speaker 1: You can support your neighborhood's go-tos or choose from favorite
27:52
Speaker 1: national restaurants like Popeye's, Chipotle, and the Cheesecake Factory. Ordering
27:57
Speaker 1: is easy. All your items will be safely left outside
28:00
Speaker 1: your door when you choose contactless delivery drop-off. For a
28:04
Speaker 1: limited time, Tim Dillon Show listeners can get 25% off
28:09
Speaker 1: and zero delivery fees on their first order of $ 15
28:12
Speaker 1: or more. Think about that. 25% off, zero delivery fees
28:17
Speaker 1: on their first order of $ 15 or more when you
28:20
Speaker 1: download the DoorDash app and enter code TIMDILLON. 25% off,
28:25
Speaker 1: up to $ 10 value, zero delivery fees on the first
28:29
Speaker 1: order when you download the DoorDash app in the App
28:31
Speaker 1: Store and enter code TIMDILLON. Do it right now. That's
28:35
Speaker 1: Tim Dillon for 25% off your first order with DoorDash.
28:40
Speaker 1: Think about that. You got to do it. It makes
28:42
Speaker 1: a lot of sense. Bespoke Post. We all want things.
28:46
Speaker 1: We all love surprises. Bespoke Post only sends guys the
28:51
Speaker 1: best stuff every month, no matter what you're into. Box
28:55
Speaker 1: of Awesome as you cover it from breezy summer styles
28:58
Speaker 1: to grooming goods to travel and outdoor gear. Box of
29:01
Speaker 1: Awesome has collections for every part of your life. To
29:04
Speaker 1: get started, take the quiz at boxofawesome.com. Your answers will
29:08
Speaker 1: help them pick the right box of awesome for you.
29:10
Speaker 1: They release new boxes every month across a ton of
29:13
Speaker 1: different categories. It's free to sign up and you can
29:15
Speaker 1: skip a month or cancel any time. Each box costs
29:19
Speaker 1: only $ 45 but has over $ 70 worth of gear inside.
29:23
Speaker 1: So you just get a box every month of really
29:25
Speaker 1: cool stuff once you take this quiz and they figure
29:28
Speaker 1: out what you like. 20% off your first monthly box
29:31
Speaker 1: when you sign up. Think about that. 20% off your
29:36
Speaker 1: first monthly box when you sign up at boxofawesome.com. and
29:40
Speaker 1: enter the code TIMDILLON at checkout. That's boxofawesome.com, code TIMDILLON
29:44
Speaker 1: for 20% off your first box. I mean, how cool
29:49
Speaker 1: is this? Wallets, knives, coffee makers, a weekender, a carry-all bag, socks,
30:02
Speaker 1: Taco night reinvigorated. A great thing for a trail. Restore
30:08
Speaker 1: a travel-sized grooming regimen for looking great everywhere. Things like
30:13
Speaker 1: this will come in your box of awesome. It's really cool.
30:16
Speaker 1: It's great to get surprised with things that you need
30:21
Speaker 1: and want. Do you understand that? Yes. I need them
30:28
Speaker 1: and I want them. That knife looks really cool. Does it? Yeah,
30:34
Speaker 1: it does. You know what you can do with that knife?
30:39
Speaker 1: You can hold it to the throat of a salmon.
30:43
Speaker 1: You could. That's right. If a salmon's not doing something
30:49
Speaker 1: you want it to do, you can hold it right
30:51
Speaker 1: to the throat of a salmon. If a salmon's getting
30:58
Speaker 1: mouthy with you, You put it right to the throat
31:02
Speaker 1: of that salmon and you cut that fish up. You
31:06
Speaker 1: can cut that fish up. You ever gut a fish?
31:10
Speaker 1: I have. I'm speaking rhetorically. Rhetorical question. Boxofawesome.com. Enter the
31:18
Speaker 1: code Tim Dillon at checkout. That's boxofawesome.com. Tim Dillon for
31:24
Speaker 1: 20% off your first box. We read a real fun
31:29
Speaker 1: article about Palm Beach. All roads lead to Mar-a-Lago inside
31:34
Speaker 1: the fury and fantasy of Donald Trump's Florida. You've got
31:38
Speaker 1: a fun crew down there. I mean, let's separate this
31:42
Speaker 1: from ideology for a minute. I know the audience is
31:44
Speaker 1: incapable of doing that. You know, I don't understand. It's
31:49
Speaker 1: probably because they have nothing going on in their lives
31:52
Speaker 1: that brings them any enjoyment. But separating ideology for a minute,
31:56
Speaker 1: it's just a fun crew. Roger Stone, Tucker, Sean Hannity,
32:01
Speaker 1: Ben Shapiro, Laura Ingraham, Ann Coulter, Brad Parscale, the Trump
32:05
Speaker 1: campaign manager who's now advising Caitlyn Jenner. The epicenter of
32:10
Speaker 1: the American conservative movement has become Florida. It's become this
32:15
Speaker 1: swamp of, you know, goons and scoundrels and grifters and
32:22
Speaker 1: just all-around fun people. Mm-hmm. tabloid culture tabloid culture the
32:28
Speaker 1: birthplace of the National Enquirer and Matt Drudge lives down
32:32
Speaker 1: there the Drudge Report which I love and conservatism was
32:36
Speaker 1: kept out of these mainstream institutions for a long time.
32:40
Speaker 1: You know, a lot of the major papers in America
32:45
Speaker 1: and television networks were cosmopolitan in the sense that they
32:50
Speaker 1: were never hard left for sure. They were liberal. They
32:54
Speaker 1: were decidedly liberal on a lot of the key values
32:57
Speaker 1: that conservatives find themselves on the other side of. And
33:01
Speaker 1: that's why a lot of the conservative personalities in media
33:06
Speaker 1: are a bit flashier, because they're rappers, essentially. They talk shit.
33:15
Speaker 1: They're not getting published in mainstream places, right? So they
33:18
Speaker 1: had to take over alternative media, talk radio and the internet,
33:22
Speaker 1: and people like Rush Limbaugh and Matt Drudge and Ann Coulter,
33:25
Speaker 1: and they came... from outside of this system where you
33:31
Speaker 1: played these respectability politics. And these guys like Christopher Ruddy,
33:35
Speaker 1: who started Newsmax, and they're all down there in Palm Beach, Florida.
33:39
Speaker 1: And it just seems like a lot of fun. It
33:42
Speaker 1: seems like a lot of fun. And if you read
33:44
Speaker 1: this Vanity Fair article, like the waiter who's serving Roger
33:49
Speaker 1: Stone and Laura Loomer food, It goes like this. So
33:55
Speaker 1: they're seated in a private room. A heavyset waiter comes in,
33:58
Speaker 1: an immigrant from Yugoslavia named Mario, who introduces himself as
34:02
Speaker 1: a diehard Republican. He's crestfallen. He sees Laura Loomer and
34:06
Speaker 1: Roger Stone sitting there. And he goes, unbelievable what they
34:10
Speaker 1: did to us. And Loomer goes, I know. And the
34:12
Speaker 1: waiter goes, bunch of criminals. And Oliver Stone goes, not
34:15
Speaker 1: over yet. And then Mario goes, that's right. I'm hoping.
34:18
Speaker 1: We're all hoping. So they're keeping that hope alive down
34:24
Speaker 1: there in Florida. It's like, you know the song at
34:27
Speaker 1: the beginning of Portlandia, the dream of the 90s is
34:30
Speaker 1: alive in Portland. That's what's going on. The dream of
34:35
Speaker 1: Q is alive in Palm Beach. You know? And it's
34:41
Speaker 1: just these people just kind of dancing around, eating steaks
34:44
Speaker 1: and martinis at 3 p.m., thinking that Trump's going to
34:47
Speaker 1: be reinstalled as president somehow. Fat Mario the waiter, Laura Loomer,
34:52
Speaker 1: Ann Coulter, who then at the end of the article,
34:55
Speaker 1: Ann Coulter and Matt Trudge go, we're leaving Florida, and
34:58
Speaker 1: we're not telling anybody where we're going. And I guess
35:02
Speaker 1: they're leaving because Trudge and I are both leaving Florida,
35:06
Speaker 1: and we're not telling anyone where we're going this time. Um...
35:10
Speaker 1: I guess because Coulter, she's fallen out of the Trump camp.
35:14
Speaker 1: She's unhappy with Trump. But it's fun. Florida's always kind
35:18
Speaker 1: of been a fun place. And I remember when we
35:21
Speaker 1: snuck into the Breaker's Buffet.
35:23
Speaker 2: Yes.
35:24
Speaker 1: And there's something nice about Florida. There's something distinctly American
35:27
Speaker 1: about lying your way into an all-you-can-eat Mother's Day buffet
35:32
Speaker 1: without a mother. We had no mother. We honored no one.
35:36
Speaker 1: It was just to sit there and feed ourselves on shellfish,
35:39
Speaker 1: and it was great. And Segura was there, but we
35:41
Speaker 1: didn't even see him. Didn't see him, yeah. But that's
35:45
Speaker 1: Florida for you. It's a fun article in Vanity Fair
35:48
Speaker 1: if you read it. And I mean, the thing is,
35:52
Speaker 1: you know, Ben said I'd love to go to one
35:53
Speaker 1: of these parties earlier. And you would and you wouldn't.
35:57
Speaker 1: Because one thing I learned when I was debating people
36:02
Speaker 1: that were to become people like this, right? a lot
36:05
Speaker 1: of the kids that I was debating when I was
36:07
Speaker 1: in college, and even though I was at a community college,
36:10
Speaker 1: many of these people were going on to four-year schools,
36:13
Speaker 1: and they were going to, I think one of them
36:16
Speaker 1: worked for Mitt Romney for a while. The thing about
36:19
Speaker 1: people who live, sleep, eat, and breathe politics is that
36:25
Speaker 1: they're boring. The thing about politics is it obscures many
36:31
Speaker 1: of the truths of life, which are Truly apolitical, right?
36:38
Speaker 1: The deep human truths of life, which is what art
36:42
Speaker 1: tries to get to, which is why art sucks now,
36:45
Speaker 1: because we're fitting those truths or showcasing them in a
36:49
Speaker 1: way that has to break down into this political binary.
36:52
Speaker 1: It's not natural. But, and I'm not saying artists are
36:56
Speaker 1: fun to be around either. Don't mistake me. But the
36:59
Speaker 1: thing about people whose entire life their entire existence, the
37:04
Speaker 1: way they interface with the world is all politics, is
37:09
Speaker 1: deeply unfulfilling. It's deeply unfulfilling. And many of them know that.
37:18
Speaker 1: Because there is a disconnect between what you're saying and
37:25
Speaker 1: what's happening. And that's a chasm. Meaning you're not really
37:30
Speaker 1: in the fight to change things as much as you're
37:36
Speaker 1: in the fight to become famous or wealthy. And you're
37:42
Speaker 1: really trying to establish yourself And then there's this movement
37:47
Speaker 1: of people that you can kind of grab onto for
37:51
Speaker 1: a minute and you could guide them or push them
37:54
Speaker 1: in a certain way. But that's an unruly mob of
37:58
Speaker 1: human beings. That's just going to go somewhere else. So
38:01
Speaker 1: you got to keep track of them, keep hold of them.
38:03
Speaker 1: It's not easy. And you know, Real change is very
38:08
Speaker 1: difficult and it's not that glamorous. And the people that
38:12
Speaker 1: work to make real change, like real activists, lawyers and
38:15
Speaker 1: doctors and people that give up lucrative careers to then
38:19
Speaker 1: go help people on the street and actually help people
38:23
Speaker 1: get elected to local government and change laws that affect
38:27
Speaker 1: people's lives. That's very different than the pundit class who's
38:31
Speaker 1: swilling gin martinis at 3 a.m. at the Breakers in
38:36
Speaker 1: Palm Beach and talking about revolution and this is happening
38:40
Speaker 1: and this is happening. And none of it's really happening.
38:43
Speaker 1: That's the thing. I mean, it's not really happening. And
38:46
Speaker 1: the people that do this kind of know that, but
38:49
Speaker 1: they've given themselves over to it and their entire life
38:54
Speaker 1: is politics. There's not much else there. And it's why
38:59
Speaker 1: I decided to get out. You know, I thought I
39:01
Speaker 1: wanted to be in that world. And I said, I
39:03
Speaker 1: don't want to be in that world. I don't want
39:05
Speaker 1: to have to have an idea or a thought and go,
39:07
Speaker 1: wait a minute. Is this, is this something that my
39:12
Speaker 1: enemies would say, or is this something my allies would say? And,
39:18
Speaker 1: and then what? I didn't want to have to put
39:21
Speaker 1: everything through that prism, but if I did, it does
39:25
Speaker 1: seem fun to, do it in Palm Beach, Florida with
39:30
Speaker 1: these lunatics. They seem a lot more fun than the
39:33
Speaker 1: neoliberal Hampton set and the Brooklyn socialist set. These people
39:38
Speaker 1: seem a lot more fun. If we're just going to
39:41
Speaker 1: go off fun, if we're just going to go off fun,
39:46
Speaker 1: martinis with these lunatics, I mean... The true answer is
39:51
Speaker 1: none of the above. But if you had to, it
39:54
Speaker 1: might be here. Hurricane heading to Long Island. Long Island
39:58
Speaker 1: is very well with hurricanes. I remember after Hurricane Sandy,
40:02
Speaker 1: people were sitting out on their lawn with rifles because
40:05
Speaker 1: they were afraid of, quote, wandering gangs of minorities. So
40:10
Speaker 1: Long Island really shines during natural disasters. People were going
40:15
Speaker 1: around to rob each other's houses on Long Island. There
40:19
Speaker 1: were people sitting in their driveways with weapons. And I'm
40:23
Speaker 1: not saying that there wasn't some fuckery. I'm sure there was.
40:25
Speaker 1: This is Hurricane Henry or Henri. It is strengthening. It
40:31
Speaker 1: is expected to become a hurricane on Saturday. I'm really wondering...
40:43
Speaker 1: I'm really wondering how bad this is going to be.
40:49
Speaker 1: Now you got to remember that strengthens to a category one.
40:54
Speaker 1: That's nothing. That's nothing. Nothing. Hurricane Sandy was the long Island.
41:02
Speaker 1: It was the first time in a very long time
41:05
Speaker 1: that long Island had really gone through a natural disaster. Um,
41:16
Speaker 1: It destroyed 650,000 homes or damaged. It took years to
41:23
Speaker 1: get back on their feet, these people. I knew Long
41:28
Speaker 1: Island was finally back when insurance companies were calling people
41:33
Speaker 1: and saying, we overpaid you. We gave you too much
41:36
Speaker 1: money and you owe us money. And then people that
41:39
Speaker 1: I knew from comedy, comedians in Long Island that didn't
41:41
Speaker 1: have jobs, were working at those call centers, calling up
41:45
Speaker 1: these elderly people who had finally just had a moment
41:48
Speaker 1: of peace because their home had just been finished after
41:51
Speaker 1: years and said, hey, Miss Marino, we overpaid you about $ 30, 000.
41:56
Speaker 1: You owe us. What? You owe us money. The insurance company,
42:03
Speaker 1: you better make good. What's going on? Ralph, they're saying
42:08
Speaker 1: we owe them money. You better fucking pay, you old bitch.
42:12
Speaker 1: So as soon as that started happening again and people
42:15
Speaker 1: in Long Island started leaning into their character, I knew
42:19
Speaker 1: that Long Island was going to be fine. But I
42:21
Speaker 1: remember I was living in New York city when hurricane
42:24
Speaker 1: Sandy happened and it damaged, uh, where I grew up.
42:28
Speaker 1: I mean, it was underwater. The town I grew up
42:30
Speaker 1: in was underwater. It was really, really bad. Um, Yeah,
42:36
Speaker 1: this is photos from Island Park during Hurricane Sandy. It
42:42
Speaker 1: was bad. People were without power. There's boats in people's yards.
42:48
Speaker 1: Looters will be shot like that. There you go. That's beautiful.
42:54
Speaker 1: But it did. It pushed people to the brink. And
42:56
Speaker 1: I'm not... You know, I did not experience it, right?
43:00
Speaker 1: I was in Manhattan. I never lost power. I was
43:03
Speaker 1: living in midtown Manhattan. Some of Manhattan lost power downtown,
43:07
Speaker 1: but not where I lived. And Hurricane Sandy, it was
43:11
Speaker 1: real character building from Long Island. It really was. Long
43:14
Speaker 1: Island used to be a racist place. After Hurricane Sandy,
43:20
Speaker 1: Long Island used to be a place where people were
43:23
Speaker 1: very paranoid about different races. Now, after Hurricane Sandy, it
43:29
Speaker 1: really became a beautiful place where different types of people
43:35
Speaker 1: understood and respected each other. But before that, can you
43:40
Speaker 1: believe it was not that? And Long Island, it was tough.
43:47
Speaker 1: And I remember talking to friends. And, of course, people
43:52
Speaker 1: used Hurricane Sandy for years after that. As an excuse
43:57
Speaker 1: for why their lives. It will be COVID too. You know,
44:02
Speaker 1: you will, the biggest losers in your life, and they're
44:06
Speaker 1: already doing it, but they'll do it more, will go,
44:10
Speaker 1: I had so much going on. COVID. I was about
44:17
Speaker 1: to do it. Do what? Everything. COVID. COVID. And that's
44:24
Speaker 1: what Hurricane Sandy was. People like, I was doing, I was,
44:27
Speaker 1: oh my God, Hurricane Sandy, and it fucked me for years. Years.
44:33
Speaker 1: I couldn't get a job or go to school or anything.
44:35
Speaker 1: I just had to sit in water for years and drink.
44:41
Speaker 1: I just had to sit in disgusting water and drink
44:47
Speaker 1: for seven years after Hurricane Sandy. And that's what's going
44:50
Speaker 1: to happen with COVID too. On the other side of COVID,
44:54
Speaker 1: people are going to go, yeah, you know, I was
44:57
Speaker 1: going to go to college or I was going to
45:00
Speaker 1: get that job. I was going to move. That's going
45:02
Speaker 1: to be the big one. I was going to leave.
45:04
Speaker 1: But because of COVID, I couldn't do it. And some
45:08
Speaker 1: of those people will be correct, just like some of
45:11
Speaker 1: the people in Long Island were being genuine when they
45:14
Speaker 1: said that this fucked up their plans. But then there
45:17
Speaker 1: will be the vast majority of people that are, or
45:22
Speaker 1: maybe not the vast majority, but far too many people
45:25
Speaker 1: that are just lying about this. And you're going to
45:29
Speaker 1: turn around. It'll be like 2026, and you'll go, so
45:31
Speaker 1: wait a minute. Run this back again. You didn't go
45:42
Speaker 1: to college in 2023 because of the coronavirus. Explain this.
45:51
Speaker 1: And then they'll have to jump through hoops and explain
45:54
Speaker 1: it and say like, oh, well, actually what happened was
45:57
Speaker 1: my mother's friend died of COVID and we took in
46:02
Speaker 1: her cat and that was more of a burden than
46:06
Speaker 1: we had imagined. And then I thought I had it,
46:09
Speaker 1: but I never did. And then we couldn't pay the
46:12
Speaker 1: bills because my uncle had a bar and my boyfriend
46:17
Speaker 1: got in a bar fight with a guy who may
46:19
Speaker 1: have had COVID. And that was why he was crazy.
46:21
Speaker 1: And my boyfriend split his head open in the parking lot.
46:24
Speaker 1: We had to pay for my boyfriend to get out
46:27
Speaker 1: of jail and then go to trial. And then he
46:29
Speaker 1: did six months and six months. Well, he can't work.
46:31
Speaker 1: And how are we going to feed this cat from
46:33
Speaker 1: that lady who died of COVID? And you see what
46:35
Speaker 1: I mean? COVID. You go, what? You see? Cause that's people,
46:40
Speaker 1: Hurricane Sandy, they'll be, my car was destroyed in Hurricane Sandy.
46:44
Speaker 1: And then I got another car and it was repossessed.
46:47
Speaker 1: And it was taken by the state because they said
46:51
Speaker 1: I was drunk, but I wasn't. And you go, does
46:54
Speaker 1: this really have to do with the hurricane? Can you
46:57
Speaker 1: draw a straight line from the hurricane to where you
47:02
Speaker 1: are now? Draw a straight line from COVID to where
47:06
Speaker 1: you are now. Now, many people will be able to.
47:08
Speaker 1: They'll be like, I went in, I had 19 strokes.
47:10
Speaker 1: And then you go, got it. Hey, got it. Got it.
47:17
Speaker 1: And those people are going to barely be able to talk.
47:20
Speaker 1: We get it. But then there's going to be the
47:23
Speaker 1: people who are going to get very creative about this
47:28
Speaker 1: period of time. And I said before, I said on
47:32
Speaker 1: the Patreon episode, excited I am for whatever the next
47:38
Speaker 1: phase of life is whatever the next phase of culture
47:41
Speaker 1: is because we need it people are psychologically coming apart
47:47
Speaker 1: the news is circular we've all had enough there's nothing
47:53
Speaker 1: that we haven't talked about 19 times you know it
48:00
Speaker 1: would be like imagine if Hurricane Sandy kept happening Like
48:04
Speaker 1: imagine if Hurricane Sandy just kept battering like you would
48:08
Speaker 1: build the house halfway back and then Gale Force winds again,
48:13
Speaker 1: floods again. It would be crazy if that kept happening.
48:18
Speaker 1: Like Hurricane Katrina just happened the next year. Just again,
48:22
Speaker 1: they're like, it's another surge. It's Hurricane Katrina Delta Vera,
48:29
Speaker 1: and it just wouldn't stop. Magic Spoon cereal is the best.
48:32
Speaker 1: It is so good. It's got zero grams of sugar, 13,
48:35
Speaker 1: 14 grams of protein, only four net grams of carbs
48:38
Speaker 1: in each serving. It's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low-carb. You
48:42
Speaker 1: can build your own box or get a variety pack
48:44
Speaker 1: with available flavors like cocoa, fruity, frosted, peanut butter, blueberry,
48:47
Speaker 1: and cinnamon. Magic Spoon is bringing back two super popular flavors,
48:50
Speaker 1: cookies and cream and maple waffle, permanently. When these flavors
48:54
Speaker 1: were first introduced for a limited time, they sold out
48:56
Speaker 1: extremely quickly. Let your listeners know, which I'm doing now,
48:59
Speaker 1: that they should fucking get these. Magicspoon.com slash Tim Dillon
49:03
Speaker 1: to grab your delicious cereal today. Many of you want
49:06
Speaker 1: to enjoy sugar cereal that doesn't have sugar. And how
49:10
Speaker 1: does that happen? Well, Magic Spoon uses very high quality
49:14
Speaker 1: sweeteners like monk fruit. It's great. Magicspoon.com slash Tim Dillon.
49:20
Speaker 1: They're so confident in their product. It's backed by 100%
49:22
Speaker 1: happiness guarantee. So if you don't like it for any reason,
49:26
Speaker 1: they'll refund your money, no question to ask. They're so
49:28
Speaker 1: confident in their product. It's backed with 100% happiness guarantee.
49:32
Speaker 1: So listen to that. They really want you to have
49:34
Speaker 1: this cereal. Remember, get your next delicious bowl of guilt-free cereal.
49:39
Speaker 1: at magicspoon.com slash Tim Dillon and use the code Tim
49:42
Speaker 1: Dillon to save $ 5 off. Thank you, Magic Spoon, for
49:46
Speaker 1: sponsoring this episode. Raycon earbuds, I love them. We're all
49:50
Speaker 1: going to lose our name brand headphones, so we go
49:55
Speaker 1: to Raycon. Why? Because Raycon starts at half the price
49:59
Speaker 1: of other premium audio brands, but they sound just as good.
50:03
Speaker 1: They come with a 45-day happiness guarantee, so you really
50:05
Speaker 1: can't lose. Give them a try. You'll see what I mean.
50:07
Speaker 1: It's great to have a backup pair of headphones, earbuds, okay?
50:12
Speaker 1: I love them on a plane, train, whatever you want
50:14
Speaker 1: to do, running, jogging, in the gym, talking to friends
50:18
Speaker 1: and family. Just slip one in. Maybe you get one
50:21
Speaker 1: that's to say it's a hearing aid, but it's not.
50:23
Speaker 1: You don't have to listen to them. Raycon is super,
50:26
Speaker 1: super easy. Six hours of playing time. You have a
50:31
Speaker 1: 32-hour battery life. You can listen to what you want
50:34
Speaker 1: when you want forever. You got to create your own
50:37
Speaker 1: soundtrack in life by popping it. What would your soundtrack be?
50:42
Speaker 1: My soundtrack for my life? Yes. Maybe a soundtrack to
50:46
Speaker 1: a film, like maybe No Country for Old Men. You
50:50
Speaker 1: know what I think it would be? Just wind blowing
50:52
Speaker 1: through a window. Raycon.com slash Tim. Buy Raycon.com slash Tim
51:01
Speaker 1: to save 15% on Raycons. You get great earbuds. They're perfect.
51:09
Speaker 1: And they cost a lot less. You want to save
51:13
Speaker 1: your money, folks. And this is a great way to
51:16
Speaker 1: do it. Raycons. Buy Raycon.com to save 15% on Raycons.
51:24
Speaker 1: Thank you for supporting the show, Raycon. This is great.
51:27
Speaker 1: Larry David screamed at Alan Dershowitz at a grocery store
51:31
Speaker 1: because he's mad that he's friends with Donald Trump or
51:36
Speaker 1: that he's in the Trump team. I saw you with
51:39
Speaker 1: your arm around Mike Pompeo. It's disgusting. Dershowitz goes, he's
51:43
Speaker 1: my former student in Harvard Law. I greet all of
51:46
Speaker 1: my former students that way. I can't greet my former students. David,
51:49
Speaker 1: it's disgusting. Your whole enclave, it's disgusting. You're disgusting. Then
51:53
Speaker 1: Larry walks away. Alan takes off his t-shirt to reveal
51:55
Speaker 1: another t-shirt that says, it's the Constitution, stupid. And then
51:59
Speaker 1: Dershowitz drove off in an old dirty Volvo. I love,
52:02
Speaker 1: by the way, that it wasn't that he's been accused
52:04
Speaker 1: multiple times of rape by underage people. It's that he's
52:08
Speaker 1: like a Republican. Yeah. That's really, if you want to
52:11
Speaker 1: talk about Hollywood, that's the perfect encapsulation of Hollywood. You know?
52:17
Speaker 1: It'd be like if Jeffrey Epstein was found out that
52:19
Speaker 1: he was alive and Larry David bumped into him in
52:21
Speaker 1: Martha's Vineyard, he'd be like, I can't believe you were
52:23
Speaker 1: such good friends with Trump. I never knew that. By
52:29
Speaker 1: the way, Dershowitz has been accused by this Virginia Dufresne
52:34
Speaker 1: Or Guffrey, I don't know. Guffrey, yeah, Virginia Guffrey of
52:37
Speaker 1: molesting her, right? For years. Multiple times? Yeah, seven times.
52:41
Speaker 1: Seven times? Between the ages of 16 and 19. Well,
52:44
Speaker 1: that's too much. Using some of the same language that
52:47
Speaker 1: he had employed to describe Epstein's victims a decade earlier,
52:50
Speaker 1: this is what Dershowitz called this woman. This is how
52:53
Speaker 1: you know she's telling the truth. He called her a
52:55
Speaker 1: serial liar, a prostitute, and a bad mother. I mean,
53:01
Speaker 1: that sounds a bit personal to me. for someone you
53:04
Speaker 1: didn't rape, Dersh. Can you believe that? Like if somebody
53:10
Speaker 1: accused you of rape, wouldn't your first question be like, what, who, how, huh?
53:15
Speaker 1: But he's like, she's a liar, prostitute and a bad mother.
53:19
Speaker 1: It's like, well, it sounds like you're protesting a little
53:21
Speaker 1: bit too much. In fact, I think that you know
53:24
Speaker 1: this woman quite well and you may have done the
53:27
Speaker 1: wrong thing to her. Then he said, who could not
53:30
Speaker 1: be believed, quote, against somebody with an unscathed reputation like me.
53:33
Speaker 1: Does he have an unscathed reputation? I don't know about that.
53:38
Speaker 1: He insisted that Guffrey had, quote, made the whole thing
53:41
Speaker 1: up out of whole cloth in search of, quote, a
53:43
Speaker 1: big payday. When a TV reporter in Miami questioned his
53:47
Speaker 1: characterization of Guffrey, a sex abuse victim, as, quote, a prostitute,
53:50
Speaker 1: Dershowitz replied, she made her own decisions in life. He's
53:55
Speaker 1: basically admitting he fucked her, but he's saying she's a prostitute.
53:59
Speaker 1: Who cares? She made her own decisions, even though she
54:02
Speaker 1: was underage. Yeah. So it was just very interesting. Larry
54:10
Speaker 1: David kind of like bumped into him and Martha's Vineyard
54:12
Speaker 1: and was like, hey, I cannot believe that you're a Republican.
54:17
Speaker 1: Forget the friendship with Jeffrey Epstein. Forget the multiple accusations
54:22
Speaker 1: of child rape. When two people, when he, but when,
54:27
Speaker 1: when a Hollywood person, and I love Larry's brilliant comedian,
54:30
Speaker 1: but it's just funny. It's like, you know, you are
54:32
Speaker 1: in a little bit of a bubble, unless there's more
54:34
Speaker 1: to this, which we didn't hear where he's, and maybe
54:36
Speaker 1: that's part of why he's grossed out by Dersh. But like,
54:40
Speaker 1: you know, you're in a little bit of a bubble
54:41
Speaker 1: when somebody walked, you bump into an accused child rapist
54:45
Speaker 1: on Martha's Vineyard. And your biggest problem with them is
54:49
Speaker 1: that they're friends with the Trump team. That seems odd.
54:55
Speaker 1: Larry's a knee-jerk radical, Dershowitz told Page Six. He takes
54:58
Speaker 1: his politics from Hollywood. He doesn't read a lot. He
55:00
Speaker 1: doesn't think a lot. It's typical of what happens now
55:03
Speaker 1: on the vineyard, says Dershowitz. People who won't talk to
55:07
Speaker 1: each other if they don't agree on their politics. Well,
55:09
Speaker 1: what about the child rape? I love this. He goes,
55:18
Speaker 1: it's the price of principle. This guy, he's been involved
55:24
Speaker 1: in some very Very nefarious dealings. And he's probably done
55:29
Speaker 1: some horrible things. And what's funny now is that he
55:35
Speaker 1: relishes this. Every time somebody yells at him about being
55:39
Speaker 1: in the Trump circle, it helps him. Because what they're
55:44
Speaker 1: not yelling at him about is the credible accusations of
55:48
Speaker 1: child rape that he's also a large part of. So
55:55
Speaker 1: like every interview he does, he's like, I'm just, they
55:58
Speaker 1: get mad at me because I believe in the constitution.
56:00
Speaker 1: It's like, that's not Alan. You know, that's not it.
56:06
Speaker 1: I just watched, by the way, the people versus OJ
56:08
Speaker 1: Simpson again, because it's on Netflix. It's great. And he's
56:11
Speaker 1: in that, not him, but an actor. This is funny.
56:16
Speaker 1: That was a great, go back to that photo. It's
56:19
Speaker 1: the noted lawyers, long controversial career in a Jeffrey Epstein,
56:22
Speaker 1: OJ Simpson interview. Mike Tyson. Is that Limbaugh? I believe so, yeah.
56:29
Speaker 1: Might be Limbaugh. It's Trump. I don't know. This is
56:32
Speaker 1: a good article. Alan Dershowitz, the article's devil's advocate. I mean,
56:37
Speaker 1: he's an amazing lawyer, right? I mean, we can't take
56:40
Speaker 1: that away from him. Yeah, sure. He's a great lawyer.
56:43
Speaker 1: He'll be representing the Taliban soon. The Taliban will have
56:47
Speaker 1: Alan Dershowitz, and he'll go, people are mad because I
56:50
Speaker 1: represented the Taliban. That's why they're angry. He's going to
56:55
Speaker 1: keep doing controversial things to take the heat off the
56:57
Speaker 1: whole Epstein thing. If he was smart right now, he'd
57:00
Speaker 1: be in Afghanistan defending the Taliban so that people, you know,
57:09
Speaker 1: forget that he's been accused. And where is Ghislaine Maxwell's trial?
57:13
Speaker 1: Just to check in on that piece of news. See
57:15
Speaker 1: what's going on. Where is she? What's going on with Ghislaine?
57:20
Speaker 1: How is this woman? Yeah, they're trying to get Prince Andrew. Yeah, trying.
57:26
Speaker 1: The royal family may just hang him out to dry, huh?
57:29
Speaker 1: I didn't think that was going to happen. But it's
57:31
Speaker 1: very possible the royal family thought, Andrew, you know what?
57:35
Speaker 1: We don't like you that much anyway. You're sort of odd.
57:38
Speaker 1: You blink a lot. You don't sweat. Strange. So the
57:43
Speaker 1: royal family prosecutors asked Judge to withhold the names of
57:47
Speaker 1: Ghislaine Maxwell's uncharged co-conspirators from her. Meaning, go down here,
57:54
Speaker 1: this is interesting. Federal prosecutors urged a judge not to
57:57
Speaker 1: force them to provide Ghislaine Maxwell a complete list of
58:01
Speaker 1: her uncharged co-conspirators, urging that that disclosure risks, quote, harm
58:07
Speaker 1: to the government from restricting its proof at trial. You
58:12
Speaker 1: wonder if she's going to try to have them whacked?
58:16
Speaker 1: Although it's not required to do so, the government can
58:18
Speaker 1: state that as of the date of this letter, and
58:21
Speaker 1: although the government may change its view as it prepares
58:23
Speaker 1: for trial, it currently intends to introduce co-conspirator statements at
58:27
Speaker 1: trial from only two individuals. Maxwell asked to learn their
58:33
Speaker 1: identities earlier as one of the categories of information. Her
58:36
Speaker 1: defense team requested to avoid a trial by ambush. She
58:39
Speaker 1: wants to know. She goes, I have a right to
58:42
Speaker 1: know who's diming on me in open court. I have
58:47
Speaker 1: a right to know so that those people can get threatened.
58:52
Speaker 1: What's going on? She goes, I should know who they are.
58:58
Speaker 1: There is accordingly no significant risk that the defense will
59:01
Speaker 1: be surprised at trial. by a profusion of co-conspirators in
59:05
Speaker 1: their statements, even if the government identifies statements for use
59:08
Speaker 1: at trial from additional co-conspirators. The letter says this court
59:12
Speaker 1: has twice concluded that no bill of particulars is warranted
59:16
Speaker 1: because the defendant has adequate information to prepare for trial
59:21
Speaker 1: and avoid unfair surprise. Julie K. Brown at the Miami
59:26
Speaker 1: Herald said, whose reporting has been widely credited with sparking
59:28
Speaker 1: Epstein and Maxwell's prosecutions, opine that transparency has been getting
59:32
Speaker 1: worse on the dockets. Her public records battles in court
59:35
Speaker 1: led to the release of thousands of pages, which included
59:38
Speaker 1: the names of prominent men allegedly implicated in Epstein's conspiracy.
59:42
Speaker 1: Despite that flood of documents, courts remain under pressure to
59:46
Speaker 1: keep more files under wraps and heavily redacted. So it'll
59:52
Speaker 1: be interesting to see which... how they go. So push
59:57
Speaker 1: to November now was July to November, right in the
1:00:00
Speaker 1: height of the, uh, the Delta storm.
1:00:03
Speaker 2: Right.
1:00:03
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, it'll be interesting. I'm going to say that
1:00:11
Speaker 1: Maxwell gets like, look at this. Just lane. Maxwell reportedly
1:00:18
Speaker 1: sells house where alleged sex crimes occur. She's offloaded her
1:00:23
Speaker 1: now notorious London home. 2.5 mil. The socialite acts of
1:00:30
Speaker 1: late pedophile Jeffrey Epstein had put her muse house in
1:00:34
Speaker 1: the super exclusive Belgravia neighborhood on the market for 2.7 million.
1:00:40
Speaker 1: Her spokesman first confirmed earlier this year it was finally
1:00:43
Speaker 1: bought by a property developer for around 2.42 million. The
1:00:47
Speaker 1: house is has long played a central role in her
1:00:51
Speaker 1: sex ring scandal. Yeah. And this is where Prince Andrew
1:00:58
Speaker 1: is photographed hugging his accuser when she was just 17. Well,
1:01:07
Speaker 1: she dumped some real estate. She needs money like everything else.
1:01:11
Speaker 1: Like everybody else, she needs money. And I'm sure... Meanwhile,
1:01:16
Speaker 1: Maxwell will be sad about the sale of her London, quote, refuge.
1:01:19
Speaker 1: Because it held happy memories, her spokesman told the mail.
1:01:23
Speaker 1: What's great is that these people forget like what they're
1:01:25
Speaker 1: on trial for and they have to pretend that none
1:01:28
Speaker 1: of it's real. So they have to like release statements
1:01:31
Speaker 1: like that. Well, it was a refuge, darling. And there's
1:01:34
Speaker 1: many happy memories there. So many happy memories that I
1:01:39
Speaker 1: just will miss it. I'll miss sipping tea in the yard.
1:01:42
Speaker 1: So many happy memories of drugged up children running around.
1:01:46
Speaker 1: You know, Prince Andrew chasing girls through the, through the hole,
1:01:50
Speaker 1: just chasing them through the corridor. Um, yeah, she's still
1:01:56
Speaker 1: in Brooklyn. Well, our tour rolls on folks, uh, uh,
1:02:01
Speaker 1: you know, assuming that I don't collapse from exhaustion. I'm
1:02:04
Speaker 1: getting stronger every day. I did a 20 minutes last
1:02:07
Speaker 1: night in, um, Austin, Texas. So we're at the Chicago
1:02:11
Speaker 1: improv in Schaumburg and everyone's like, Oh, it's not Chicago.
1:02:14
Speaker 1: It's the suburbs. Hey man, that's where the seats are. Right.
1:02:18
Speaker 1: I'm already doing 10 fucking shows, which I shouldn't even
1:02:22
Speaker 1: be doing. I'm not going to be doing 30 fucking
1:02:25
Speaker 1: shows at Zany's. I need a bigger room. So Schomburg Improv,
1:02:30
Speaker 1: there are some tickets left because we've opened all of
1:02:32
Speaker 1: these up, I believe, at full cap. Some of them
1:02:37
Speaker 1: say they're sold out. I don't know, but let's see.
1:02:39
Speaker 1: But there might be tickets. Try to figure it out.
1:02:44
Speaker 1: September 9th, Corpus Christi, Texas. Mesquite Street Comedy. Okay. September
1:02:52
Speaker 1: 23rd through the 25th, Baltimore, Maryland. October 7th through the 9th, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Wednesday,
1:03:03
Speaker 1: October 20th through the 21st is Spokane, Washington. And then
1:03:09
Speaker 1: there's a theater run that we're announcing too. The Beacon Theater, Thursday,
1:03:12
Speaker 1: November 11th in New York. That's going to be big.
1:03:15
Speaker 1: And of course, our dates in San Diego that got
1:03:17
Speaker 1: rescheduled because of COVID. Um, which I said family emergency,
1:03:22
Speaker 1: but I knew, I knew I probably had COVID. So
1:03:25
Speaker 1: I said it was a family emergency. And then I
1:03:27
Speaker 1: finally got the test back and they're like, it's COVID. Um, uh,
1:03:31
Speaker 1: but I was like, I can't go because it was
1:03:33
Speaker 1: saying negative, but I'm like, there's no way. Um, San
1:03:36
Speaker 1: Diego in December, but the beacon theater is going to
1:03:39
Speaker 1: be the big one in New York. Stand up live podcast. Um,
1:03:43
Speaker 1: it's really cool. Um, We've moved a lot of tickets already,
1:03:49
Speaker 1: and we're very excited about it. But all right, listen,
1:03:51
Speaker 1: let me go drink some fucking water with lime to
1:03:54
Speaker 1: get my throat going. Patreon.com for the bonus episodes. Support
1:04:00
Speaker 1: the products that we sell on the show. It helps
1:04:04
Speaker 1: support us. We appreciate you guys buying live tickets. And
1:04:08
Speaker 1: then the merch, we'll drop some new merch in December
1:04:11
Speaker 1: around the holidays. We'll give you ample time for that.
1:04:15
Speaker 1: We're not always trying to shove merch down your throat.
1:04:17
Speaker 1: Fake business was awesome. People are happy with that seemingly. And,
1:04:23
Speaker 1: you know, we're going to try to do something a
1:04:24
Speaker 1: little different in December, something smaller, maybe one or two
1:04:30
Speaker 1: items in December for those people that didn't grab the
1:04:33
Speaker 1: fake business stuff or want some other stuff. The quality
1:04:36
Speaker 1: of the last merch drop was really high. The, the
1:04:40
Speaker 1: hoodies and everything like that. There was some really cool
1:04:43
Speaker 1: stuff there. We're working on something that will have the
1:04:47
Speaker 1: same quality. Perhaps we can bring down the price. That's
1:04:51
Speaker 1: our hope in December because I know people are going
1:04:54
Speaker 1: to be buying a lot of different things. Socks from
1:04:57
Speaker 1: Cody Co or whatever. We just want to make sure
1:05:00
Speaker 1: that everybody can... We love Cody. Buy everything from him.
1:05:04
Speaker 1: We know you're spreading yourself out. We're going to try
1:05:08
Speaker 1: to do something that is cost-effective. And I do want
1:05:15
Speaker 1: to go to Afghanistan to do a benefit for the
1:05:22
Speaker 1: Women's Foundation. The reason I'm not is because I get it.
1:05:29
Speaker 1: You know? And I don't want to be left on
1:05:32
Speaker 1: the tarmac in Kabul. Because that's... You got to really
1:05:38
Speaker 1: assess why you're doing what you're doing. You have to really, truly...
1:05:43
Speaker 1: Because everybody who does charity, real charity, should be prepared
1:05:48
Speaker 1: to be left on the tarmac in Kabul. It shouldn't
1:05:51
Speaker 1: just be some dinner party in the Hamptons. You should
1:05:55
Speaker 1: actually have to put your money where your mouth is
1:05:58
Speaker 1: and go to Kabul. And it's not the worst thing. Listen,
1:06:05
Speaker 1: a lot of those women that went over there, men, whoever,
1:06:07
Speaker 1: this will be a very interesting part of your life.
1:06:11
Speaker 1: I truly believe that. I believe it will be an
1:06:14
Speaker 1: interesting part of your life. And I don't think that
1:06:18
Speaker 1: you should necessarily look at it as something negative. I
1:06:22
Speaker 1: think you should look at it as a, as a
1:06:23
Speaker 1: positive development, you know, because, you know, this is the
1:06:29
Speaker 1: way it is now. And, you know, that's the thing. Like,
1:06:36
Speaker 1: you know, the Taliban is the real version of the
1:06:40
Speaker 1: fascism that you people constantly moan about being here. You know,
1:06:45
Speaker 1: our fascists are inept. They're incapable. They're drinking martinis in Florida.
1:06:50
Speaker 1: They can't oppress you that much, although they'd love to perhaps.
1:06:57
Speaker 1: But the Taliban can, they like have a real singular
1:07:02
Speaker 1: focus on creating a society that is sufficiently religious. And
1:07:09
Speaker 1: they're going to do that. And I hope everyone gets out.
1:07:13
Speaker 1: I hope all the translators get out. I hope all
1:07:16
Speaker 1: the people that were there to do charity get out.
1:07:19
Speaker 1: But that seems unrealistic right now because you trusted the
1:07:24
Speaker 1: United States and you went to do a good thing.
1:07:27
Speaker 1: But sometimes the price of doing a good thing is
1:07:31
Speaker 1: seeing it through. And now you're going to have to
1:07:34
Speaker 1: see it through. I would suggest go the other way.
1:07:38
Speaker 1: If you are there to work for a woman's charity
1:07:42
Speaker 1: right now, go hard the other way. I'm talking Burka,
1:07:47
Speaker 1: start whipping women in the street. You're going to need
1:07:50
Speaker 1: to kind of, you are going to need. to figure
1:07:55
Speaker 1: out how to ingratiate yourself with the leadership so if
1:07:58
Speaker 1: you were a translator and you could delete your history
1:08:01
Speaker 1: so they don't know who you are you got to
1:08:02
Speaker 1: be the behander wouldn't that be great if you went
1:08:06
Speaker 1: over to afghanistan to help and now you're the behander
1:08:11
Speaker 1: you just be handing thieves or people that maybe aren't
1:08:14
Speaker 1: thieves and you go you know i came over here
1:08:17
Speaker 1: i was working uh I was working with a, you know,
1:08:21
Speaker 1: a teach Afghani children about capitalism thing. And we were
1:08:26
Speaker 1: going to have Gary Vee come over and do a talk.
1:08:28
Speaker 1: It was great. We came over with a, you know,
1:08:31
Speaker 1: teach Afghanis about investment, teach Afghans about investment. And we
1:08:36
Speaker 1: were teaching students how to be hustlers and grinders and
1:08:41
Speaker 1: start their own energy drink company. But that all went bad.
1:08:44
Speaker 1: I couldn't get out. And now I'm the behinder. And
1:08:50
Speaker 1: I just lob people's hands off and I throw them
1:08:52
Speaker 1: in a bucket. You know? It's a different hustle. It's
1:08:59
Speaker 1: a different grind. But ultimately, it's the same thing, right?
1:09:02
Speaker 1: Isn't life simple? Can't you just enjoy the simplicity of life?
1:09:05
Speaker 1: I say this to all the women there now that
1:09:08
Speaker 1: we're Americans or whatever and all the people that are trapped.
1:09:10
Speaker 1: Can't you just enjoy a simplified life? Maybe you don't
1:09:14
Speaker 1: need Starbucks. Just enjoy a simplified life. Enjoy the simple
1:09:22
Speaker 1: pleasures of theocratic fascism, the real kind. Yes, it's going
1:09:29
Speaker 1: to suck for a little bit, but adjustments are tough.
1:09:32
Speaker 1: Change is never easy. It's never easy. I feel like them.
1:09:40
Speaker 1: Standing on the tarmac at fucking, what's this airport called? Oh,
1:09:45
Speaker 1: in Kabul? No, in Austin. Oh, Austin Bergstrom? Yeah. Standing
1:09:49
Speaker 1: on the tarmac at Austin Bergstrom waiting to leave, which
1:09:52
Speaker 1: I'm leaving in a few months, I have a similar feeling.
1:09:56
Speaker 1: A similar feeling. I'm one of the last ones out.
1:10:00
Speaker 1: I'm going to be one of the last ones out.
1:10:03
Speaker 1: And as I look out.
1:10:04
Speaker 2: At the plane and I see people falling off it
1:10:07
Speaker 2: and I see just people running around with burkas, eating brisket,
1:10:12
Speaker 2: performing at comedy clubs that aren't comedy clubs.
1:10:15
Speaker 1: You know, as I look at all those damned, doomed
1:10:18
Speaker 1: people just running through the drunken melee, you know, I'm
1:10:23
Speaker 1: going to say to myself, we never should have invaded.
1:10:31
Speaker 1: We never should have invaded. Places have cultures and those
1:10:37
Speaker 1: cultures matter and they're resilient. And the Austin, they're going
1:10:41
Speaker 1: to take it back. They're going to take it back
1:10:43
Speaker 1: from Joe Rogan and Elon Musk. Those drunken, savage animals,
1:10:48
Speaker 1: those complete failures, those thoughtless nothings are going to come back,
1:10:53
Speaker 1: and it may take them 20 years. I imagine it'll
1:10:55
Speaker 1: take them a lot less than that. They're going to
1:10:57
Speaker 1: float on their rafts in that beer piss lake they
1:11:00
Speaker 1: all like, and they're going to float right to shore,
1:11:03
Speaker 1: and they're going to waddle off all coved up and
1:11:06
Speaker 1: brown recluse bit, and they're going to just walk in
1:11:09
Speaker 1: all drunk, full of taco farts, and they're going to go, eww.
1:11:14
Speaker 1: My friend's got a show tonight. He's in a bed.
1:11:18
Speaker 1: And you're going to look at these brainless zombies and go,
1:11:21
Speaker 1: you know what? This place is theirs. It's theirs. It's
1:11:26
Speaker 1: not the tech people and it's not Joe's and it's
1:11:29
Speaker 1: not Elon's. It's none of that. It is for those
1:11:32
Speaker 1: brainless zombies. We never should have invaded, but now we
1:11:37
Speaker 1: can make it right. We can get out and let
1:11:41
Speaker 1: them do what they're going to do because the Austin
1:11:43
Speaker 1: Taliban will be back and better than ever.