Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / What Our Kids Watch - and Why Women Need Each Other

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What Our Kids Watch - and Why Women Need Each Other · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

0:05
Speaker 1: What do you do when your child wants to watch
0:08
Speaker 1: stuff that you don't think is appropriate for them, but
0:11
Speaker 1: they're absolutely convinced that it is, and they're kind of
0:14
Speaker 1: old enough to start making their own decisions around this.
0:18
Speaker 1: It's a tough one and it's one that we tackle
0:19
Speaker 1: today on the pod plus Missus Happy Families and the
0:23
Speaker 1: incredible power of a community of women. I'm excited to
0:26
Speaker 1: hear what you've got to say about this one, Kylie,
0:28
Speaker 1: because I got to be a shadow, a shadow, a
0:30
Speaker 1: fly on the wall. I got to be in the
0:32
Speaker 1: background as you had a wonderful experience with a fairly
0:36
Speaker 1: large group of women at our house just recently. We're
0:39
Speaker 1: going to talk about all that and more. Our Friday
0:42
Speaker 1: edition of I'll Do Better Tomorrow is next. Stay with us.
0:48
Speaker 1: This is the Happy Families podcast where you get real
0:50
Speaker 1: parenting solutions every single day. It's astray as most downloaded
0:53
Speaker 1: parenting podcast, where Justin and Kylie Carson. It's Friday, It's Friday,
0:57
Speaker 1: It's Friday, the weekend. I just there's something light and
1:02
Speaker 1: easy about Fridays that feel so good, Kylie. Today so
1:06
Speaker 1: much to get into. Let's break it down. The stuff
1:09
Speaker 1: that we've learned the stuff that's helped us to make
1:12
Speaker 1: our families happier. Just before we do it, I've got
1:15
Speaker 1: an email to share with you. I love doing this.
1:17
Speaker 1: You never know what's coming. But got an email the
1:20
Speaker 1: other day. This came from Anna, who said I loved, loved, loved,
1:26
Speaker 1: loved all in capitals. Today's podcast as usual Doctor Justin,
1:31
Speaker 1: but today was so emotional that I felt I need
1:34
Speaker 1: to share. You always seem to help me see things
1:37
Speaker 1: from a different perspective and challenge me to become a
1:39
Speaker 1: better parent. And Kylie, what a gift she is. Now
1:44
Speaker 1: before I read further, I just want to highlight this
1:47
Speaker 1: isn't about saying how awesome we are, but we love
1:50
Speaker 1: the fact that we get to make a difference in
1:52
Speaker 1: people's lives. And last week, Kylie, the podcast was you
1:55
Speaker 1: sharing how you feel like there's a lack of connection
1:58
Speaker 1: at times when there's a big fight with the kids.
2:00
Speaker 1: And one of the other kids told our daughter who
2:04
Speaker 1: was fighting with you, that there would never be another
2:07
Speaker 1: person on the planet who would love her so much,
2:09
Speaker 1: and it was just it was a beautiful pot like
2:10
Speaker 1: it was really, really, really nice. And this is what
2:13
Speaker 1: Anna said. I was walking my dog This morning listening
2:15
Speaker 1: to the podcast, and I found myself sobbing as I'd
2:17
Speaker 1: listened to her story, it resonated so much with me.
2:21
Speaker 1: There are times when I feel like my daughter hates me,
2:23
Speaker 1: that we can't communicate, and that she'd probably rather have
2:26
Speaker 1: a different mum. But listening today gave me a different perspective.
2:30
Speaker 1: It reminded me that maybe my daughter and my son
2:33
Speaker 1: are some of my greatest teachers. They constantly pushed me
2:36
Speaker 1: beyond my comfort zone and challenged me to grow into
2:38
Speaker 1: a better parent and a better person. But I'm well
2:41
Speaker 1: aware that I'm very much a work in progress. You
2:44
Speaker 1: and Kylie have inspired me to not only keep learning
2:47
Speaker 1: and doing the work on myself, but also to study
2:49
Speaker 1: and one day support and help others. I'm a credit
2:51
Speaker 1: with grateful that I came across people like you. Thank
2:53
Speaker 1: you for the wisdom, of the honesty and the hope
2:55
Speaker 1: you bring to me and probably thousands of other families.
3:00
Speaker 1: With the sparks that light my fire. Thank you, Anna.
3:04
Speaker 1: I just love the email. I'm not sharing it so
3:06
Speaker 1: that I can say how awesome are we? I'm sharing
3:10
Speaker 1: it because when we do these, I'll do better tomorrow.
3:13
Speaker 1: Podcasts sometimes we feel like we're a little bit too
3:15
Speaker 1: much off. Here's what we're doing, and it's not enough
3:18
Speaker 1: about other people. But it's these stories that touch and
3:22
Speaker 1: his heart and people like that, and I just I
3:25
Speaker 1: think we.
3:25
Speaker 2: Learn through stories, though some of our greatest learning comes
3:28
Speaker 2: by watching other people wrestle with challenges or other people
3:32
Speaker 2: actually getting it right and seeing that it's actually not
3:36
Speaker 2: as big as we thought it would be to be
3:39
Speaker 2: able to have a positive impact. And I just I
3:43
Speaker 2: love Anna's recognition that she's a work in progress. We're
3:46
Speaker 2: all are work in progress, and we don't have to
3:49
Speaker 2: get it right. We don't have to be perfect at it.
3:51
Speaker 2: We just have to be trying. And our kids need
3:54
Speaker 2: to know that we're not perfect. Our kids actually need
3:57
Speaker 2: to know that we wrestle with these things that it
3:59
Speaker 2: doesn't come easily because it gives them permission to make
4:02
Speaker 2: mistakes and it's okay. There's just so much power in.
4:05
Speaker 1: That and I can't help it. I know we said
4:08
Speaker 1: we wouldn't do this, but I've just got to highlight
4:10
Speaker 1: and his email is in stark contrast to the one
4:13
Speaker 1: star review that I recently got that we recently got
4:16
Speaker 1: on the podcast where I don't know. Mama Bear ninety
4:19
Speaker 1: four said one star, awful bloke. It's well known in
4:22
Speaker 1: the industry that no one likes this guy. Justin stopped
4:25
Speaker 1: trying to grift off our kids and just spend more
4:28
Speaker 1: time looking at yourself in the mirror. Some people say
4:32
Speaker 1: some horrible stuff, but we know what our motives are,
4:36
Speaker 1: and that is that we want to be helpful, full stop.
4:38
Speaker 1: End of story. There is no grift. There is only
4:41
Speaker 1: value added. And if we don't add value, you don't
4:44
Speaker 1: have to listen. It's okay. One star review. So Ana,
4:47
Speaker 1: thank you for making our day because I was a
4:49
Speaker 1: bit sad when I saw that one star review three
4:51
Speaker 1: months ago, and I just thought I'd compare in contrast
4:54
Speaker 1: and which one feels more uplifting, which one feels better
4:56
Speaker 1: to hear?
4:57
Speaker 2: I know that the one star is about you specifically.
5:01
Speaker 1: Also, there is no industry for I love that like
5:04
Speaker 1: running the industry. Hat what industry like? I'm a parenting
5:07
Speaker 1: but I work for myself. There there is no parenting
5:09
Speaker 1: expert industry. Well maybe there is, but I've got good
5:12
Speaker 1: relationships I think with most of the other people who
5:14
Speaker 1: do the work that I do. I digress.
5:16
Speaker 2: What were you going to say, I, just what kind
5:18
Speaker 2: of person do you want to be? Do you want
5:20
Speaker 2: to put light out into the world, or do you
5:21
Speaker 2: want to throw shade at other people? I think when
5:24
Speaker 2: things like that come up, I think it says more
5:26
Speaker 2: about the other person and less about who they're speaking about.
5:30
Speaker 2: Four times than not.
5:31
Speaker 1: It reminds me of the poem by Edgar Guests. I
5:33
Speaker 1: watched them tearing and building down a gang of men
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Speaker 1: in a busy town with a ho heve ho and
5:38
Speaker 1: lusty yell. They swung a beam and a sidewall fell.
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Speaker 1: I asked the form, and these men skilled the men
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Speaker 1: you'd hire if you had to build. He gave me
5:44
Speaker 1: a laugh and said, no, indeed, just common labor is
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Speaker 1: all I need. I can easily wreck in a day
5:49
Speaker 1: or two what builders have taken a year to do.
5:53
Speaker 1: And I thought to myself as I went my way,
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Speaker 1: which of these two roles have I tried to play?
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Speaker 1: Am I a builder who works with care, measuring life
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Speaker 1: by the rule square, Am I shaping my deeds by
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Speaker 1: a well made plan, patiently doing the best I can?
6:05
Speaker 1: Or Am I a wrecker who walks the town, content
6:07
Speaker 1: with the labor of tearing down this is so bad?
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Speaker 1: Do I need to rescue you? Look like you're about
6:15
Speaker 1: to cry.
6:16
Speaker 3: You are describe from the moment you read Anna's Land.
6:21
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness. Okay, come on, let's go.
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Speaker 1: I love the podcast. This is why we do it.
6:26
Speaker 1: We don't do it so that we can sit here
6:27
Speaker 1: and cry and self congratulation. We do it because it
6:29
Speaker 1: makes a difference. We do it because it makes a difference.
6:32
Speaker 1: And your email helps us to remember that, especially when
6:35
Speaker 1: there are some people who are content with wrecking and
6:37
Speaker 1: tearing down. All right, Kylie, I'll do a better tomorrow.
6:41
Speaker 1: Two quick stories from one from you. My one is
6:45
Speaker 1: based on just the other day, I took Emily, our
6:48
Speaker 1: twelve year old, to The Amazing Digital Circus. It's a movie.
6:52
Speaker 1: She loves this stuff. I saw her watching it about
6:55
Speaker 1: a year ago and I just I said, this is
6:57
Speaker 1: not consiste of our values. I don't like it. I
6:58
Speaker 1: don't want you're watching it. She's found ways to watch
7:01
Speaker 1: it anyway, and she and her friends love to talk
7:05
Speaker 1: about The Amazing Digital Circus. And I've watched a little
7:07
Speaker 1: bit of it and I just find it completely appropriate,
7:09
Speaker 1: not for kids. But I've never really sat downe you know,
7:11
Speaker 1: how we're always saying, know what the kids are watching,
7:13
Speaker 1: know what the kids are looking at, make sure that
7:15
Speaker 1: you're in their digital lives. So we try really hard
7:17
Speaker 1: to do That's the reality is. It's really tough to
7:22
Speaker 1: do that and to do it well. And so she
7:25
Speaker 1: said she wanted to go and see The Amazing Digital Circus.
7:27
Speaker 1: I did not want to watch it because I'm not
7:29
Speaker 1: interested in this stuff at all, and you said, no,
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Speaker 1: you really need to be in her life. This is
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Speaker 1: what we tell other people to do. So you made
7:35
Speaker 1: me go and do it, and you were right it
7:37
Speaker 1: needed to be done. We sat in the cinema and
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Speaker 1: I watched this this show. So I'm going to sound
7:43
Speaker 1: a little bit judge you here. This is not my
7:44
Speaker 1: kind of stuff. So if you and your family love
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Speaker 1: The Amazing Digital Circus, forgive me. I think it's absolute rot.
7:51
Speaker 1: I think it's literally brain or I think it's trash.
7:55
Speaker 1: But even if you do like it, this stuff is
7:57
Speaker 1: not for kids. And if your kids are watching The
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Speaker 1: Amazing Digital Circus and you don't know what it is,
8:03
Speaker 1: can I recommend that you sit down and watch an
8:04
Speaker 1: episode with them and get your head around it. This
8:07
Speaker 1: is a cartoon it's bright, it's shiny, it looks like
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Speaker 1: it's fun. It's kinda zany, a little bit weird and
8:15
Speaker 1: out there, and it's really big in the in the
8:18
Speaker 1: comic fandom zone. So I went and sat there. The
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Speaker 1: adult themes, the deep heavy existential dread and anxiety, and
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Speaker 1: I'm even going to say traumatic content that it brings up,
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Speaker 1: the violence, the pacing, the way that it does all
8:42
Speaker 1: of these awful scene switching. Everything about this I hated.
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Speaker 1: And my twelve year old daughter is sitting there with
8:54
Speaker 1: her eyes wide open, soaking it up like it's kind
8:57
Speaker 1: of like if I'm if, I'm going to say to her,
9:00
Speaker 1: don't drink the poison. The poison is really bad, but
9:03
Speaker 1: it's up to you. And then I put it in
9:05
Speaker 1: front of her and she picks it up and has
9:08
Speaker 1: a sip and says, oh, my goodness, that poisonous. Good.
9:11
Speaker 1: Give me more. Towards the end, the movie actually becomes
9:16
Speaker 1: quite redemptive and there's real light and joy, but oh
9:21
Speaker 1: my goodness, does it travel to dark places before it
9:24
Speaker 1: lifts itself back into the light. If you've got kids
9:27
Speaker 1: that I'd say over fourteen, and they're into it for whatever,
9:31
Speaker 1: weird strange reasons that my fifty year old brain doesn't comprehend.
9:34
Speaker 1: Because that's the modern world, and I'm apparently getting sold
9:37
Speaker 1: that I don't get it anymore. Then that's fine, But
9:41
Speaker 1: there's course language, there's really heavy themes. There's some completely
9:45
Speaker 1: inappropriate innuendo and content. And we got to have a
9:51
Speaker 1: really good conversation when we came out. It was so
9:54
Speaker 1: hard Kylie. So I've looked at her. I said, you
9:56
Speaker 1: know how I felt about that, don't you? And she said,
9:58
Speaker 1: h that's she.
10:01
Speaker 2: Actually, when she realized that you were going to take her,
10:03
Speaker 2: didn't want to go.
10:04
Speaker 1: Yeah, because she's afraid of judgment and being in trouble.
10:08
Speaker 1: And so as we walked back to the car, I said,
10:12
Speaker 1: you already know how I feel about it, but I
10:14
Speaker 1: really want to understand, because you know how I was saying,
10:17
Speaker 1: get curious, not furious, Understand, don't reprimand I just said,
10:20
Speaker 1: I really want to understand. What are the things about
10:24
Speaker 1: it that you love? We can talk about the bad
10:26
Speaker 1: stuff later, and we need to, but what are the
10:28
Speaker 1: things about it that you really really like? And she
10:32
Speaker 1: started to explain the stuff that she likes. Now I
10:34
Speaker 1: don't care for and have an interest in the stuff
10:38
Speaker 1: that she said that she likes about it, but she's
10:41
Speaker 1: got legitimate reasons for liking it. They're legitimate to her.
10:45
Speaker 1: And it was really interesting to sit there and listen
10:46
Speaker 1: to her describe why she likes this stuff. And once
10:51
Speaker 1: she shared all of that, I asked if I could
10:54
Speaker 1: share with her what I liked, which was very hard
10:57
Speaker 1: for me to do, and I told her that I
11:00
Speaker 1: really loved the redemptive end. I said, the last ten
11:02
Speaker 1: or fifteen minutes of it were actually really beautiful. It
11:04
Speaker 1: was actually really beautiful. And then I said, can we
11:10
Speaker 1: talk about the bad stuff? And she said yeah, And
11:13
Speaker 1: I said, it took us an hour to get to
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Speaker 1: the nice stuff, and that hour was heavy and dark
11:18
Speaker 1: and violent, and it was not for kids, like this
11:22
Speaker 1: is not for you. How did you feel about it?
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Speaker 1: And she told me this felt very different and much
11:30
Speaker 1: harsher than all the other stuff. And I didn't really
11:33
Speaker 1: like it either, but I really liked the end. I
11:36
Speaker 1: don't know that we're ever going to completely get her
11:38
Speaker 1: off the amazing digital circus and some of the other
11:40
Speaker 1: stuff that she's into, but the conversation was valuable and
11:45
Speaker 1: it built trust because she saw that I was willing
11:48
Speaker 1: to sit in that place with her and learn about
11:53
Speaker 1: things that mattered to her. So that's my old about
11:55
Speaker 1: it tomorrow.
11:56
Speaker 2: What I love about this story, Justin is so often TV,
12:03
Speaker 2: for as long as TV's been around, has kind of
12:06
Speaker 2: been used as this amazing babysitter for us. We can
12:10
Speaker 2: put our children in front of a screen and know
12:12
Speaker 2: that they're not going anywhere, that'll be exactly where we
12:15
Speaker 2: left them when we go back looking for them. And
12:19
Speaker 2: there has always been concern about content on the screen,
12:24
Speaker 2: But what often happens is our children are watching the TV.
12:27
Speaker 2: We walk in, we hear a bad word, or we
12:30
Speaker 2: hear an in exchange between characters that we don't like,
12:34
Speaker 2: We lose the plot, we get cranky about it, and
12:36
Speaker 2: the kids are jarred by our response, but we haven't
12:40
Speaker 2: actually taken the time to understand. And while it meant
12:45
Speaker 2: number one, you had to sit through something that you
12:47
Speaker 2: did not want to sit through, it gave you power
12:52
Speaker 2: to have a conversation with her that you couldn't have
12:56
Speaker 2: otherwise had. That's the first thing. But the second thing
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Speaker 2: I really love about this is that it changes the
13:04
Speaker 2: way your child watches what they're watching. They're no longer
13:07
Speaker 2: just passively consuming whatever is in front of them. They're
13:11
Speaker 2: actually feeling things differently because they know that you're watching it,
13:16
Speaker 2: and so it's almost like they're taking a different perspective.
13:19
Speaker 2: They're watching it and wondering what you're thinking, which changes
13:23
Speaker 2: the way they see it. And as a result, when
13:25
Speaker 2: she came home, I asked her how it went, and
13:27
Speaker 2: she said, well, it went better than I thought it did.
13:30
Speaker 2: Dad didn't totally hate it. And then she said, there
13:33
Speaker 2: are quite a few things that I didn't agree with,
13:35
Speaker 2: she said, but I still liked it, and that will
13:38
Speaker 2: sit with her and so now when she watches something else,
13:42
Speaker 2: there will be just this little voice in the back
13:44
Speaker 2: of her head that's going, I'm not sure about this.
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Speaker 2: She's not going to get it perfect, and she's going
13:51
Speaker 2: to want to watch the things that she wants to watch.
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Speaker 2: But it gives us power to have really important conversations
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Speaker 2: and we get to educate over time.
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Speaker 1: Up next, the Power of Women Spending time with women.
14:04
Speaker 1: Stay with us it told me about it tomorrow on
14:13
Speaker 1: the Happy Families podcast. Missus Happy Families. You've had a
14:16
Speaker 1: big girls night and you need to talk about it
14:19
Speaker 1: with everyone.
14:21
Speaker 2: Most people would suggest that maybe I was an event's
14:23
Speaker 2: coordinator in a previous life or something. I love having
14:27
Speaker 2: a great event, and I love putting it on. I
14:30
Speaker 2: love creating an atmosphere where people just want to come
14:33
Speaker 2: and they can just relax into it and they don't
14:36
Speaker 2: want to leave because they've just loved the feeling of
14:39
Speaker 2: being together. And last weekend I was in charge of
14:43
Speaker 2: hosting book club, and we had read a book. It's
14:46
Speaker 2: called The Book of Longings by Sue Kidmunk, and it's
14:49
Speaker 2: actually written from the perspective of a fictional wife of Jesus,
14:54
Speaker 2: and it was a really, really awesome read. And so
14:57
Speaker 2: I decided to have a themed in Jerusalem. I turned
15:01
Speaker 2: our laund room into like a courtyard in Jerusalem.
15:04
Speaker 1: I walked into the house and there's a dining table
15:07
Speaker 1: with the legs sawn off so that it's shin height.
15:10
Speaker 1: You've got blankets and rugs and vases and palm trees.
15:14
Speaker 1: And I didn't recognize our house. You had completely transformed
15:19
Speaker 1: the room. I I wondered where I was and what
15:22
Speaker 1: was going on.
15:23
Speaker 2: I was so excited about it. I'd woken up at
15:25
Speaker 2: two thirty in the morning planning in my head how
15:28
Speaker 2: it was all going to come together, and normally book
15:31
Speaker 2: club is not this big a deal.
15:33
Speaker 1: But I do love an event.
15:34
Speaker 2: I do love an event. I love an excuse to
15:36
Speaker 2: be creative. That's actually what this comes down to. It's
15:39
Speaker 2: a creative outlet for me that I don't often get
15:42
Speaker 2: to enjoy. And so I'd done little handouts and I'd
15:47
Speaker 2: organized a menu, and I was really excited. I asked
15:50
Speaker 2: my friends to get dressed up in biblical attire. We
15:53
Speaker 2: had the scarfs on our head and almost heshi and sacks.
15:58
Speaker 2: We were all in our little linens and everybody did it,
16:02
Speaker 2: and we all showed up, and everybody was just excited
16:05
Speaker 2: to be together. But what I learned as we kind
16:09
Speaker 2: of spent this time together is when we're intentional about
16:13
Speaker 2: creating space to come together collectively as women, to leave
16:19
Speaker 2: behind the cares of today, which may have been massive,
16:22
Speaker 2: may have been hard. And I have friends that I
16:24
Speaker 2: know just carrying the weight of the world on their
16:28
Speaker 2: shoulders right now, and for them to be able to
16:30
Speaker 2: come into a space where they didn't have to be anyone,
16:33
Speaker 2: they weren't needed for anything. And in one case, we
16:37
Speaker 2: didn't even actually talk. She just sat but she got
16:41
Speaker 2: to take in this richness of conversation and acknowledgement that
16:46
Speaker 2: as women, it's so easy to get caught up in
16:49
Speaker 2: our day to day lives and we do it all
16:52
Speaker 2: alone and we feel alone. But we can create these
16:56
Speaker 2: spaces where we can just for a few hours, reminded
17:00
Speaker 2: of who we are outside of wife and mum or
17:05
Speaker 2: colleague or you know, boss or whatever that looks like,
17:07
Speaker 2: whatever those roles are that feel heavy in our lives,
17:10
Speaker 2: and we get to come together and we get to
17:12
Speaker 2: buoy one another up. We get to elevate our thinking
17:15
Speaker 2: and stretch thinking, change perspectives like just have space to
17:23
Speaker 2: breathe and to enjoy one another. No one wanted to leave.
17:28
Speaker 2: We have a teeny tiny house. No one slept until
17:32
Speaker 2: they left.
17:34
Speaker 1: The whole family. We were all awake, and it was
17:36
Speaker 1: like eleven o'clock at night, and I'm laying in bed.
17:38
Speaker 1: I've got to get up at three thirty the next
17:40
Speaker 1: morning to take Lily to work. I'm just going, can
17:43
Speaker 1: you just go? I didn't say it out loud, and
17:44
Speaker 1: I'm thinking, you need to go. I need some sleep.
17:48
Speaker 1: And I'm also laying there thinking this is so good,
17:53
Speaker 1: this is so valuable. It's beautiful. I was in the
17:56
Speaker 1: kitchen for most of the afternoon and evening helping you
17:59
Speaker 1: to make sure that this was all taken care of,
18:02
Speaker 1: and it was just delightful to hear the conversations. At
18:07
Speaker 1: the risk of being a little bit provocative, this is
18:10
Speaker 1: why we need women only spaces. I think we also
18:15
Speaker 1: need men only spaces, but this is why we need
18:17
Speaker 1: women only spaces. I listened, I eavesdropped as I was
18:20
Speaker 1: in the kitchen, I could hear what was going on
18:21
Speaker 1: in the living room. The conversations that you were having
18:26
Speaker 1: were the kinds of conversations that you simply wouldn't have
18:29
Speaker 1: if there were men sitting around the table with you,
18:31
Speaker 1: if they'd come along with their husbands and we were
18:33
Speaker 1: having a dinner party, you just wouldn't have those discussions.
18:37
Speaker 1: And as a dad of six daughters and hearing you
18:40
Speaker 1: in your element with this wonderful, creative, enjoyable night and
18:44
Speaker 1: what was like fifteen women in our living room, it
18:48
Speaker 1: just struck me as there is so much power in
18:51
Speaker 1: getting a bunch of women together so that they can
18:55
Speaker 1: share their experiences. They can talk about their perimenopausal and
18:59
Speaker 1: me apausal dramas and yeah, again. It just it really
19:04
Speaker 1: stood out to me that number One, you did something
19:07
Speaker 1: effortful like this was not easy. You transformed our house.
19:11
Speaker 1: You spent a day cooking. I had to spend the
19:14
Speaker 1: night in the kitchen like there was so much work
19:18
Speaker 1: that went into it. And I know everyone says, I
19:19
Speaker 1: don't have time, I don't have the resources. It's too much.
19:22
Speaker 1: But you did it, and the payoff was huge. It
19:26
Speaker 1: just requires intention and effort and a little bit of
19:28
Speaker 1: sacrifice it but sacrifice means you give up something of
19:32
Speaker 1: lesser value of something of greater value. You gave up
19:35
Speaker 1: the lesser value of I don't know, having a quiet,
19:38
Speaker 1: easy NYE for the greater value of bringing fifteen women
19:41
Speaker 1: together to share and talk and eat. I mean, you
19:45
Speaker 1: feasted right. And it was just as an observer, a
19:49
Speaker 1: very distant outside observer who was clearly not welcome when
19:52
Speaker 1: I walked into the room.
19:55
Speaker 3: You may have picked a really bad time to inject yourself,
19:59
Speaker 3: but there was there was some very heated conversation about
20:02
Speaker 3: perimenopausal symptoms and how men just don't get it, and
20:08
Speaker 3: you walked in at that very moment to say, you
20:10
Speaker 3: don't know how hard we've got it.
20:13
Speaker 1: I said up with a big smile on my face
20:14
Speaker 1: like they knew, they knew I was joking.
20:16
Speaker 2: You were shut down and talked to go find yourself.
20:19
Speaker 2: A man came somewhere.
20:20
Speaker 1: Somebody said, you need a men's troop. Off you go
20:23
Speaker 1: go complay to the men so you'll take home message
20:27
Speaker 1: because we didn't need to wrap this up.
20:28
Speaker 2: I speak to so many women who tell me how
20:31
Speaker 2: lonely they are or how isolated they feel. It only
20:36
Speaker 2: takes one person for that to change, one person to
20:39
Speaker 2: stand up and say, hey, let's come over, and it
20:42
Speaker 2: doesn't have to be a full out night. Literally. One
20:46
Speaker 2: of the women there said, she said, as much as
20:48
Speaker 2: I've loved this, what I love most about book club
20:51
Speaker 2: is that we just take the time to come together,
20:54
Speaker 2: she said. We don't need all this stuff. So even
20:58
Speaker 2: if it's just everybody bring a plate and we just
21:02
Speaker 2: come together to just have some nibbles and a drink.
21:05
Speaker 2: It doesn't matter what it is. But be intentional, be effortful,
21:09
Speaker 2: make the time to connect with good women who uplift
21:16
Speaker 2: and strengthen you as an individual, and it will change
21:21
Speaker 2: your life. Like I can't overstate that.
21:25
Speaker 1: Yeah, you go back to the poem, that I shared
21:27
Speaker 1: a builder or a wrecker. People who build people, people
21:31
Speaker 1: who take the time out, put the effort in intention.
21:34
Speaker 1: I want you to do it every month. Obviously there
21:36
Speaker 1: are fifteen other people that has to be shared around
21:38
Speaker 1: and there's a process, but it was It felt so
21:42
Speaker 1: good to have all of those people in our house.
21:45
Speaker 1: It also meant that we had to clean up the
21:46
Speaker 1: house so they could come over, and I really loved
21:48
Speaker 1: having a clique.
21:51
Speaker 2: The challenge with anything like that is once you pack
21:53
Speaker 2: everything away, it feels pretty bare.
21:57
Speaker 1: The Happy Family podcast is produced by Justin Rula from
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Speaker 1: Bridge Mediumhammis provides our admin and other support. Have a
22:03
Speaker 1: great weekend and if you would like more info to
22:06
Speaker 1: make your family happier, visit us at Happyfamilies dot com
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Speaker 1: dot You also quick reminder the brand new book Boys,
22:12
Speaker 1: Building Strong young Men from the Inside Out. It comes
22:14
Speaker 1: out next Tuesday. You can pre order out from book
22:16
Speaker 1: toopia dot com dot a U. We've got a whole
22:19
Speaker 1: lot of freebies that you can get if you jump
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Speaker 1: onto Happy Families and let us know your receipt number. Boys.
22:26
Speaker 1: It's out on Tuesday. Pre order now