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Little Red | Little Red Riding Hood | Stories for Kids · Dorktales Storytime | Stories for Kids Who Love Big Adventures

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_03: Hello, Dork Squad.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_03: I'm Jonathan Cormer, and you're listening to Dork Tales Storytime, the podcast for kids and their pop culture loving grown-ups!
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's a beautiful day for a story, adventure, and glory.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: New friends and old ones too.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_01: It's an excellent day to get swept away in a tale, so let us regale you.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_03: Once upon a time there was a little old lady who lived all alone in the woods.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_03: Great to see you.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_03: Hey kids, let me introduce you to uh nonsense.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_03: I'll introduce myself.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_03: Ladies and gentlemen and kids of all ages, presenting the one, the only one of a kind, truly remarkable, fabulous, talented, phenomenal and modest.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_03: Reginald T.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_03: Hedgehog.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_03: Well, thanks for stopping by, Reg.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_03: Hey, would you like to help me tell this story?
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_03: Would I?
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_03: I am very good at telling stories.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_03: I know.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_03: I know you know.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I know you know you know.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_03: But I know you know you know you know you know you know you know.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_03: Anyway, uh I was just telling everyone about Granny.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yes, and that's when I said Sad to be all alone in the world.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_03: Right, but she wasn't.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_03: Wasn't what?
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_03: All alone in the world.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, but you said she was.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_03: Well no, I said she lived alone.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_03: But she had a daughter, and her daughter had a daughter.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_03: The old lady's granddaughter.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_03: And that's who this story is really about.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, you you mean it's not my story?
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_03: Well, you're in the story, but the title of the story is Little Red Riding Hood.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, who's that?
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_03: Your granddaughter.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_03: Oh it is?
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_03: Yes it is.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_03: Surely she should know her own granddaughter.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, I should know my own granddaughter.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_03: Well you do.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_03: See, when Little Red was ten or so, her granny made her a beautiful cloak out of red fabric, and Red wore it everywhere, so people started calling her Little Red Riding Hood.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_03: Oh you mean Iphigenia Yes Iphigenia is my granddaughter, Iphigenia.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_03: No wonder everybody calls her little Red She's named after me.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_03: And what a and a lovely name it is.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_03: Anyway.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, well, and whoever heard of calling a child Little Red Riding Hood?
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_03: That's just nonsense.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_03: Anyway, for the purpose of this story, we'll just call her Little Red Riding Hood, because well, that's the name of the story.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_03: Now where was I?
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yes, Granny made Iphigenia a beautiful red cloak, and she loved it so much she never took it off.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_03: So people started calling her Little Red Riding Hood.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_03: Hey, why Riding Hood?
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, don't ask me.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_03: I just made a cloak.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_03: Well, it's just the name of the story.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_03: Look, there are other versions.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_03: We can call her Little Red Cap if you like that more.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, but I didn't make a cap.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_03: I made a cloak.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_03: Fine.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_03: Let's just call her Little Red.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_03: Satisfied?
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_03: I still prefer Iphigenia.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_03: Fine.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_03: Iphigenia who happened to be wearing a red cloak.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_03: Is that better?
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_03: Much.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_03: And um now what happens?
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_03: Well, one day, little P Iphigenia was helping her mother when they received word that Granny was dying.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_03: What?
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_03: Where does it say that?
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, it's right here.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_03: I'm doing the original story by Charles Peralt.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_03: Let me see that.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_03: What?
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_03: You can't do that story But it's a classic.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_03: Nonsense.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_03: It's horrible.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_03: Too violent.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_03: Well, that's the one I have here.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_03: What do you suggest?
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_03: Step back and let an expert storyteller tell the tale.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_03: How about this?
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_03: Now one day little Iphigenia decided to go and take her granny a treat.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_03: For no other reason than she loved her.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_03: Oh that's much better.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_05: La la la la la la la la la la la la la.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_05: I'm visiting my granny and bringing her a tasty treat.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_05: For no other reason than I love her.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_03: When who should appear but a big bad wolf?
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_03: Half a moment.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_03: I thought the wolf got put into the zoo after that run in with the three little hedgehogs.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah, you're right.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_03: Or maybe he escaped.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_03: How?
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_03: Well, maybe he had porridge for breakfast, hid the spoon, and dug his way out.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_03: That's the silliest thing I've ever heard.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_03: Hey, it works in cartoons.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_03: Or maybe he got out for good behavior.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_03: What, the big bad slightly reformed wolf?
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_03: No, you're right, the spoon thing was better.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so the big bad wolf had just escaped from the zoo.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_03: He was tired of three square meals a day.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_03: Ugh! Boring! He liked living on the open road and hunting for his own food.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_03: And that little girl in the red cloak was looking extremely tasty.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_04: Mm yum Now, how can I trick that little lady into becoming a midday snack?
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_04: Ah, I know I'll win her confidence.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_05: Hello, little girl La la la la la la la la la la la la la Oh, Mr Wolf.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_05: How are you today?
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_04: Famished Oh I mean fine just fine What are you doing on this lovely day, little girl?
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_05: I'm going to take my granny this basket of delicious treats for no other reason than I love her.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_05: I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you had one.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_05: Would you like a cookie, Mr Wolf?
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_04: Oh um no thank you, you delicious little morsel.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_05: But I thought you said you were famished.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_04: Oh uh I am but uh I don't want to spoil my uh supper.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, I understand.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_05: My mamma tells me no snacks before supper all the time.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_05: Thank you for reminding me You're welcome.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_04: Say I'm going to visit my dear old mother myself.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_04: Perhaps we could walk together.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_05: Oh really?
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_05: Where does your dear old mother live?
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_04: Um over there Oh that's too bad.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_05: My granny lives the other way in a cute little yellow house next to the stream.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_05: You can't miss it because she collects gnomes and there are seventeen scattered all over the lawn.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_04: Gnomes?
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_04: Uh huh Okay Well then I I guess I'll leave you here then.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, Mr Wolf.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_05: It was nice talking to you.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_05: I hope we meet again someday.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_04: Oh I'm sure we will What's so funny?
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_04: Uh um I I was just uh remembering a joke someone told me earlier.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_05: Oh I love jokes.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_04: Tell it to me Um why did the chicken cross the road?
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_05: I don't know, Mr Wolf.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_05: Why did the chicken cross the road?
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_04: To get to the other side I don't get it.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_04: Uh you will.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_04: Goodbye now.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_05: Goodbye.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_05: Lalala la la la la la la la la la la So the wolf left little Red to continue on her way.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_03: Instead of going the other way, he doubled back and followed the other path along the stream until he reached the little yellow house with seventeen law gnomes in front.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_03: You really couldn't miss it.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_03: Um Jonathan Yes, Mr.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_03: Reg?
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_03: I have a few questions.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_03: First, how did the wolf get to Granny's house before Little Red?
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_03: Well, that's because Little Red was so easily distracted by well everything.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_05: La la la la la la la la la Ooh pretty bird.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_05: La la la la la la la la Ooh pretty butterfly.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_05: Ooh pretty rock.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_05: La la la screw! La la la la la la la Next question.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_03: If the wolf is hungry and intends to eat the little girl, why doesn't he just eat her in the woods and be done with it?
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_03: Why does he wait to go to Granny's house to eat her there?
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I'm not sure.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe he wanted to eat Granny too.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_03: Hey Yes, but he could eat little red and then go and eat Granny.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_03: Hey! Huh, I've never really thought about that before.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_03: But I guess you're right.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_03: But the part where the wolf is in Granny's house is the best part of the story, so let me finish.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_03: Oh alright.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_03: So the wolf crept up to Granny's front door and knocked.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_03: Ah no way! I'm not answering that.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_03: But you have to.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_03: It's part of the story.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_03: No Granny No way, Jose Oh oh uh let me try.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_03: Mailman You're not a male person.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_03: You're that wolf.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_03: Uh Amazon But I don't have an Amazon Prime membership.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_03: Candy gram Ooh, I do love candy, especially saltwater taffy.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_03: Hey, nice try.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_03: Open the door No I have an idea.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_03: Granny, why don't you slip out the back door and go get help to get rid of the wolf?
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_03: Oh that will never work.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_03: Ooh, I know.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_03: I'll just slip out the back door and go get help to get rid of the wolf.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_03: Great idea.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so when the wolf came and knocked on Granny's door, she looked through the peephole and saw Oh wolf Oh I'd better slip out the back door and get help And she did.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_03: The wolf got pretty tired of waiting after a few minutes.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_04: Ah Dag Nabbit she must be out La la la la la la la la la la la Uh oh here comes my lunch Hm maybe if I try the back door Ah it's open I'll just go inside and wait for lunch to come to me Ooh I love delivery So the wolf slipped into the house and put on Granny's nightgown and nightcap Hi You left.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_03: You can't control what happens Heh The wolf had just unlocked the front door and slipped into Granny's bed when who is it?
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_03: It's me, granny, Ephiginia Ephiginia Seriously I mean oh yes come in my dear Meanwhile, Granny ran off to look for help, but she had a bit of trouble.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_03: A gingerbread house someone here is sure to be kind and help me Help Help There's a big bad wolf in my house At least you don't have children eating your fence Damn things are a menace to the neighborhood Now sho I'm expecting visitors Oh darn where else can I ask for help?
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_03: Oh there's someone young man can you please help me?
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_05: There's a big bad wolf in my house Run run as fast as you can you can't catch me I'm a gingerbread man I ran from a little old woman and a little old man and I can run from you I care I can How rude Doesn't anyone care that there is a big bad wolf in my house?
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_03: Oh there's a lad with a cow.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_03: You there, young man Oh hello, would you like to buy my cow?
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_03: Mo She's a great cow, but we need to sell her.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_03: Uh no, I don't want to buy your cow.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_03: Can you?
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_03: Oh poor Milky White.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_03: We haven't had enough to feed her.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_03: But I know she'll puck up and give milk again when someone feeds her.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_03: Uh listen, I'm not interested in the cow.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_03: I need help.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_03: There is a big bad wolf in my house.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_03: Oh I'm sorry.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know how to deal with wolves.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_03: Just cows.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_03: Mo and giants.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_03: If I don't get help at this brick house, I'm going to scream dear me.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_02: Heavens to Betsy The who is it?
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_03: Oh I'm your neighbour from across the forest, and I need some help.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_02: There is a big bad wolf in my house Oh the you're a big bad wolf and you wanna come in my house No there is a big bad wolf in my house I need help I don't want to get eaten by a wolf Is there anyone else at home?
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_04: Cowbunga Yes Hey, check it out It's an old lady grandma How's it hangin' old lady grandma?
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_04: She wants us to eat a big bad wolf What No way Big Bad Wolves are bad for the digestion Is there anyone else at home?
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_03: Fear not, old wise and noble crone Hey I couldn't help overhearing that you are being bothered by a particularly large and brutally vicious canine Huh in other words a big bad wolf Oh yes there's a big bad wolf in my house wearing my night ever fear we are the three little hedgehogs, and we have experience dealing with scoundrels like that.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_03: Lead us to your house and we will forcibly expel the varmint from the premises Uh yeah, we'll like kick em right out So, having met up with the three little hedgehogs, Granny headed back to save her granddaughter from the big bad wolf.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_03: Meanwhile Yes come in dear I left the door unlocked for you Okay, granny La la la la Oh my granny what are you still doing in bed at this time of day?
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_03: I wasn't feeling very good so I took a little nap, my dear Come over and let's have a nice chat Oh my granny, what long arms you have The better to hug you with my dear Come closer so I can give you a big hug Oh but granny what big ears you have The better to hear you with my child Come closer and tell Granny all about your day Oh but granny what big eyes you have The better to see you with my dear Granny's not getting any younger Come on over Oh but granny what big teeth you have The better to eat you with Oh my wolf Wait a minute You were so nice in the woods What happened?
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_04: Oh I was just luring you in with a false sense of security Ah Just then Granny kicks the door down Hiya Here's Granny The three little hedgehogs burst in behind her to subdue the wolf.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_03: They were all shocked to find the beast chasing little Ephigenia Get away from my granddaughter, you brute Cursors Yes, get away from her granddaughter, you brute Haven't you learned your lesson?
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, man.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_04: I mean eating little girls that's just bogus Uh uh yeah the what he said Oh no not those three little pigs again Listen pigs Hedgehogs Listen hedgehogs Don't you have your own story that you need to be getting back to?
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_03: Some other poor beast to torment This elderly female was bemoaning the fact that her progeny was sure to Be consumed by a ferocious canuslupus and came to our domicile for assistance.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_02: Uh yeah.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_02: In other words, the old lady came knocking on our door for help, uh the because you were going to eat her granddaughter.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_02: That's what I said.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_03: Whoa! You did?
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_03: I did.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_03: Furthermore, what should we find but the same miscreant who attempted to devour my two brothers and myself not so very long ago?
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_03: Say yeah, dude, like be cool.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_04: Stop trying to eat hedgehogs, little girls and stuff.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_04: Hey, Batinskis! I'm a wolf! That's what we do We are carnivores! Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, a wolf's gotta eat.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_03: While you raise a salient point, the fact remains that we are not going to allow you to devour this girl.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_03: Ah, come on! What if I ask nicely?
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_03: I fear you leave us no choice but to subdue you with force.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_04: Huh?
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_04: Like George! Ah, not again.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_03: This is ridiculous.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_03: I know what will stop that beast.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_03: I'll get my trusty tranquilizer dart.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_03: Take that.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_04: Ooh Say that's some powerful stuff you got there up in Zanadu, Mr.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_04: Kublicon.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_04: Hey, do you remember the Alamo with the clot to Brata Nick to Huzzah like Excelsior?
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_05: Yay! Good job, granny.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_05: Now what are we going to do with him?
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_03: Hmm I suppose we'll have to call animal control.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_03: They'll know what to do with this critter.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_03: Thanks for your help, boys.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_03: No problem.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's righteous to help a neighbor in need.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_03: Indubitably.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_03: Now all this talk of grubs has made me a little peckish.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_03: Brothers, let us leave to find our own dinner.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_03: So the three little hedgehogs went back to their house of bricks, and Animal Control took the wolf back to the local zoo, where he was put into solitary confinement for repeat offences.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_03: But still got three square meals a day.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_03: So he was bored, but well fed.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_03: And Granny and Ephiginia had a lovely picnic and they all lived happily ever after.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_03: Thanks to Reginald T.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_03: Hedgehog.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah?
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_03: How do you figure?
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_03: Well, you would never have been able to find a way to tell that story and keep all of the players happy without me, Jonathan.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_03: Um, excuse me, I'm not happy.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, well, you're the villain.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_03: Your happiness is irrelevant.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_03: I suppose you're right.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_03: Thanks, Reg, for saving the story.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_03: All in a day's work.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_03: And they all lived happily ever after.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_03: Except me.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_03: Still not happy.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_03: Have you read the original story?
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_03: Trust me, you got off easy.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_03: The End.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_03: This has been a John in character production.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_03: Today's story was written by Karen Simpson Gardner and performed by Jonathan Cormer.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_03: Sound recording and production by Jermaine Hamilton at Hamilton Studios.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_03: Reach out to us on Instagram or email us at Dorktailstorytime at gmail.com.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_03: Find links in the show notes or go to dorktailstorytime.com.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_03: Now, go be the hero of your own story, and we'll see you next once upon a time.