Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / #HURDLEMOMENT: How to Be More Disciplined

Transcript

#HURDLEMOMENT: How to Be More Disciplined · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: For anybody looking to have more discipline, I invite you
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  Speaker 1: to constantly look at those promises that you are making
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  Speaker 1: to yourself, Audit them. Do they still matter? Do they
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  Speaker 1: matter today? Will they matter tomorrow? Will they matter in
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  Speaker 1: five years? For those things that are resounding yes, then
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  Speaker 1: those are going to be the things that you really
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  Speaker 1: want to prioritize and look at and have those promises
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  Speaker 1: that you want to keep to yourself. And for those
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: things where it's.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: Like not so much, be flexible with it.
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: Hey, everybody, Emily Abadi here coming to you live from
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  Speaker 3: the Age Studio. You are listening to another installment of
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  Speaker 3: Hurdle Moment from Hurdle.
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  Speaker 4: A wellness focused podcast.
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  Speaker 3: Reconnect with everyone from your favorite athletes to top experts
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: and industry CEOs about their highest hies, toughest moments, and
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: everything in between.
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  Speaker 4: We all go through hurdles and life, and my.
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  Speaker 3: Goal through these discussions is to empower you to better
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  Speaker 3: navigate yours and move with intention so that you can
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  Speaker 3: stride towards your own big potential and of course have
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: some fun along the way. Today, I am so excited
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  Speaker 3: to be bringing you my conversation with Les Alfred. She
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  Speaker 3: is the host of the Balanced Black Girl podcast. She's
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  Speaker 3: also a certified yoga teacher, and honestly, her voice is
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  Speaker 3: perhaps the most calming thing that I have listened to
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  Speaker 3: in months, next to my three minute headspace meditations. For
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: today's Chad, we are talking all about the power of discipline,
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  Speaker 3: how to have it, want to let go, and tools
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  Speaker 3: to harness when it feels like your discipline is waning.
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  Speaker 3: We also talk about where we can both be more
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  Speaker 3: disciplined in our own lives and where discipline has been
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  Speaker 3: a total game changer for me personally that is one
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  Speaker 3: hundred percent within my morning routine.
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: I'll link to the.
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  Speaker 3: Episode that I did on how to be a Morning
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: Person in the show notes.
• 2:04
  Speaker 4: Some quick housekeeping to do here. I do want to.
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: Say a belated Happy International Women's Day to everybody listening
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: to this. I know my audience is mostly women, and
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: for that I am so grateful and so thankful for
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: you and love the opportunity to lift you all up
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: each and every day, just like you do for me.
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: One week till the DC event.
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  Speaker 3: More tickets for that are available via the link in
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: the show notes, and if you are not yet following
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: along with the Hurdle Instagram. You're gonna want to go
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: over to at Hurdle podcast because I am hosting a
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: huge giveaway with my friends at Priority Bicycles, offering a
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: six hundred dollars gift card to one lucky hurdler. All
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: you have to do is tell me one hurdle that
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: you've conquered recently that made you really really proud.
• 2:52
  Speaker 4: Make sure you're following along with me.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: Also over at Emily A Body And with that, let's
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  Speaker 3: get to hurdling. Today, I am sitting down with Les Alfred.
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: She is the host of the Balanced Black Girl podcast.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: How you doing today, Less, I'm good, I'm good. How
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  Speaker 1: are you doing today?
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  Speaker 4: I'm good. I have been following you on Instagram.
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  Speaker 3: We connected after that Today Show segment and it's just
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  Speaker 3: been like a crazy couple of weeks.
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  Speaker 4: So for us to finally make this time, I'm really, really,
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  Speaker 4: really really grateful for it.
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  Speaker 1: Definitely, well thanks for having me. I mean, I think
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  Speaker 1: your content's amazing, hurdles amazing, So I'm happy to be here.
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  Speaker 4: Oh, you're so kind.
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  Speaker 3: Tell us a little bit about you, about Balanced Black
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  Speaker 3: Girl and how you started the show.
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  Speaker 1: Yes, I have been a self proclaimed wellness junkie my
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  Speaker 1: entire adult life. Actually got interested in wellness when I
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: was in college and my first real internship job and
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  Speaker 1: was honestly falling asleep at my desk every day and
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  Speaker 1: thought that that job was going to be my career.
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  Speaker 1: And I was like, Okay, if I'm going to do
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  Speaker 1: this for another like forty years, I need to figure
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  Speaker 1: out a way to get some energy. And so I
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  Speaker 1: started exercising, like actually drinking water, actually eating maybe a vegetable,
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  Speaker 1: which at that time, when I was twenty like, I
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  Speaker 1: was not doing any of those things, and started noticing
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  Speaker 1: a lot of positive changes and how I felt, and
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  Speaker 1: then feeling a lot more clarity and confidence and energy
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  Speaker 1: that I was looking for. And the habits just started
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  Speaker 1: snowballing from there, which ended up leading to a career
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  Speaker 1: in fitness, which led to blogging, which eventually led to podcasting.
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  Speaker 4: All of that very symbiotic together.
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  Speaker 3: While still we cannot not highlight this, you are still
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  Speaker 3: also on top of all the things that you're doing
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  Speaker 3: with Bounce black Girl, working a conventional nine to five.
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  Speaker 4: I do I have a job?
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  Speaker 3: You said you work in tech? Correct, Yes, I work
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  Speaker 3: in tech. And then like podcasting you know, is its
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  Speaker 3: own job. And then also like the influencer side of things,
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  Speaker 3: it's its own job. So what we are gathering here
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  Speaker 3: is that you know a thing or two about today's topic,
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  Speaker 3: which is talking about discipline, how to have more of it.
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  Speaker 3: As someone who basically has at least one point five
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  Speaker 3: to two full time jobs, you need to know about discipline.
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  Speaker 1: Yes, I would say it's it's pretty necessary for my
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  Speaker 1: day to day at this point, tell us.
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  Speaker 3: A little bit about why it is that this topic
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  Speaker 3: does resonate with you so deeply.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I think discipline is something that I
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  Speaker 1: have been able to have with myself from a young age.
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  Speaker 1: I've never been someone who needs a lot of extra
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  Speaker 1: accountability or external motivation. If you're familiar with the four
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  Speaker 1: tendencies by Gretchen Rubin, I'm like a textbook upholder, Like
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  Speaker 1: if I tell myself I'm going to do something, then
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  Speaker 1: I do it. And I've done that from a young age.
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  Speaker 1: But as I've gotten older, I've had to learn how
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  Speaker 1: to balance for not to no pun intended that upholder
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  Speaker 1: tendency with learning how to be kind to myself, because
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  Speaker 1: oftentimes those two things don't necessarily go together. And I
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  Speaker 1: found that when you are someone who is pretty good
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  Speaker 1: at holding yourself accountable for things, you tend to have
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  Speaker 1: a lot of behaviors praised that are maybe not the
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  Speaker 1: healthiest because to other people and to kind of the
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  Speaker 1: systems that be it seems like a really good thing. Meanwhile,
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  Speaker 1: you're like not being very kind to yourself. And so,
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  Speaker 1: especially over the past few years, I've had to really learn, Okay,
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  Speaker 1: how do I still maintain these commitments that I've made
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  Speaker 1: to myself without like dragging myself through the mud. And
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  Speaker 1: it's a daily process. But I'm still learning.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I cannot even imagine having another Like I'm still
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  Speaker 3: I'm so impressed by you and the amount of work
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  Speaker 3: that you're able to just get through during your regular
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  Speaker 3: day to day. So talk to me a little bit
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  Speaker 3: about where we start when it comes to having discipline
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  Speaker 3: with ourselves.
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  Speaker 1: I think a lot of it starts with prioritization, so
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  Speaker 1: it can feel like everything is important all the time,
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  Speaker 1: whether that is work, whether that is social obligations, whether
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  Speaker 1: that is family obligations, especially for those who are parents
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  Speaker 1: or caregivers, that's like a whole different ballgame. What I've
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  Speaker 1: found is being really helpful? Is like, Okay, what is essential?
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  Speaker 1: What is it that needs to get done? Like if
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  Speaker 1: I do not do XYZ, are the wheels going to
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  Speaker 1: fall off the bus? And making those things top priority
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  Speaker 1: for everything else? E is a nice to have? Or
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  Speaker 1: is maybe a restriction or a deadline or some sort
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  Speaker 1: of pressure that I put on myself. That's where I
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  Speaker 1: like to go back and reevaluate. Okay, is this necessary
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  Speaker 1: in this way? Is this a promise that I need
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  Speaker 1: to keep to myself in this moment or would it
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  Speaker 1: be more kind to myself to give myself spaciousness here
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  Speaker 1: so after those really top priorities have been accounted for.
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  Speaker 1: From there, allowing yourself a little bit of spaciousness to
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  Speaker 1: pour into yourself a little bit so that you have
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  Speaker 1: the energy to keep going.
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  Speaker 3: What would you say to people who have difficulty in
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  Speaker 3: creating that spaciousness and having that grace with themselves.
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  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I so get it. I literally just
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  Speaker 1: went through it this morning. I woke up before my
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  Speaker 1: alarm because I was feeling super anxious because production for
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  Speaker 1: some of the upcoming episodes of my podcasts are just
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  Speaker 1: not going how I wanted them to, and the production
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  Speaker 1: schedule that I wanted to have is just not it's
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  Speaker 1: just not working, Like I'm not going to be able
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  Speaker 1: to publish the episodes that I want when I wanted.
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  Speaker 1: And it literally like woke me up out of my sleep,
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  Speaker 1: not going to fail you, and I had to be like, Okay, listen,
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  Speaker 1: I'm in control of this, Like these deadlines that I've
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  Speaker 1: created are not real. And if I publish this certain
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  Speaker 1: episode a week later to allow myself a little bit
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  Speaker 1: more space for it to come together without creating all
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  Speaker 1: of the stress for myself, that's okay. And I think
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  Speaker 1: sometimes we do have a lot of flexibility even when
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  Speaker 1: it feels like we don't to either ask for support,
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  Speaker 1: to ask for an extension, to find ways to bring
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  Speaker 1: on help, or to push something back for later to
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  Speaker 1: give ourselves a little bit more time. And sometimes admitting
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  Speaker 1: that it can feel like failure. It can feel like, ugh,
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  Speaker 1: I'm not able to keep this promise to myself in
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  Speaker 1: this way, or I'm not able to follow through in
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  Speaker 1: the way that I wanted. But I actually think that
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  Speaker 1: when you're able to give yourself spaciousness, you're able to
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  Speaker 1: follow through even better because you're able to to do
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  Speaker 1: it with kindness. And realizing that a lot of the
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  Speaker 1: restrictions that we put on ourselves and even the restrictions
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  Speaker 1: that other people put on us, are not real. It's not.
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  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, and that's really true, right, because if
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  Speaker 3: you are willing to open yourself up and get a
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  Speaker 3: little vulnerable and be like, hey, I could use a
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  Speaker 3: little bit of help, I mean, that is something that
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  Speaker 3: I've really been leaning into lately. Obviously, you and I
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  Speaker 3: share this same self motivated vibe, and it can be
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  Speaker 3: really difficult to look at someone and say I'm struggling here.
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  Speaker 3: But when you do get to this place where you
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  Speaker 3: learn how to be okay with that, it can be
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  Speaker 3: really special and really like comforting. And we can find
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: so much support in the fact that our communities, our friends,
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  Speaker 3: our family members, even our colleagues, they want to show
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  Speaker 3: up for you, they want to show up for us
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  Speaker 3: if we choose to let them do that.
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  Speaker 1: One hundred percent, and then that's when we can really
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  Speaker 1: show up for the things that truly matter, right right.
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  Speaker 4: Right, Okay.
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  Speaker 3: So the first step to having some discipline with yourself
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  Speaker 3: is also it seems to be having some grace with yourself.
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  Speaker 3: Knowing that you could put the most perfect systems in play,
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  Speaker 3: but there are always going to be some things that
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  Speaker 3: fall out of your control. Now, when it comes to
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  Speaker 3: actually executing on this discipline, maybe if we start by
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  Speaker 3: giving a concrete example, say someone wants to start incorporating
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  Speaker 3: I know that you spoke about this in your episode
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  Speaker 3: on discipline meditation into their regular routine. What advice would
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  Speaker 3: you lend to this person if they were interested in
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  Speaker 3: being disciplined about that choice?
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  Speaker 1: Absolutely? Oh, I love this question. So I think that
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  Speaker 1: when we're trying to become disciplined about new habits, it's
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  Speaker 1: really all about meeting ourselves where we're at, and I
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  Speaker 1: think where a lot of us, and myself included, I've
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  Speaker 1: done this too, a lot of us. We tend to
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  Speaker 1: go wrong creating new habits, trying to create habits for
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  Speaker 1: somebody that is not us, maybe trying to create habits
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  Speaker 1: for a future version of ourselves. And once that habit
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  Speaker 1: is implemented, yes, we can be that future version of ourselves.
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  Speaker 1: But who we are today has to be the person
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  Speaker 1: to actually do that thing. So if you've never meditated
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  Speaker 1: a day in your life, thinking that you're going to
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  Speaker 1: do like a thirty minute silent meditation every day is
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  Speaker 1: probably not the best place to start. But if you
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  Speaker 1: can literally spend five minutes in the morning meditating before
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: reaching for your phone, or maybe during your daily walk,
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  Speaker 1: not bringing your phone or your headphones with you and
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  Speaker 1: walking in silence and seeing that time as meditation to
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  Speaker 1: make it that much easier to meet yourself where you're at,
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  Speaker 1: then you can continue building upon that, and that's when
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  Speaker 1: that consistency is likely to lead to better discipline with
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  Speaker 1: that habit.
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  Speaker 3: Such a good recommendation, I mean, what we're talking about
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  Speaker 3: here is setting goals that are relevant to what's going
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  Speaker 3: on in this person's situation, in this person's life.
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  Speaker 4: Another example that.
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: I love to give is if you feel as though
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: you are someone that is quote unquote not good at
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: drinking water, then you're not going to tomorrow start drinking
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  Speaker 3: eight glasses of water a day. Instead, if you can
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: set a specific goal that is measurable and relevant to
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  Speaker 3: who you are, maybe I'm going to drink two glasses
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  Speaker 3: of water today, then celebrate that small win if that's
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: something that you can do regularly, because the endgame here
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  Speaker 3: is doing something that's good for your health, not just
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  Speaker 3: health in general, but for you specifically and your body.
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  Speaker 1: Oh one hundred percent. And it's like if you're someone
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  Speaker 1: who wants to drink more water and you love you
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: some diet coke, Like, I'm not going to tell you
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  Speaker 1: to not drink diet coke, but I'm going to say,
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  Speaker 1: maybe have a glass of water before your diet coke
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  Speaker 1: each day, because you are a diet coke drinker. That's
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  Speaker 1: who you are. And then you're not compromising who you
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: are and you're helping to reach your goal.
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  Speaker 4: I love it. You heard it here first Less says
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  Speaker 4: pre DC. You've got to have some h duo.
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  Speaker 1: That's the trick. Just it's like putting behaviors in place
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  Speaker 1: for who you already are instead of trying to force
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: yourself to be something else, because that's just it doesn't work.
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  Speaker 4: It doesn't work.
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  Speaker 3: But the cool thing is is that when you start
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  Speaker 3: to adopt these healthier habits, if that is you know
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: what we're talking about with regard to discipline, then over
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: time you bay slowly become a upgraded version of yourself
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: and then you can adjust or modify your goals or
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: your wants and desires as needed.
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  Speaker 1: Exactly, That's exactly it.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, So okay, So this person, now they're meeting themselves
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  Speaker 3: where they're at, they're having some grace with themselves, But
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: what do you say to the person who wants to
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: be disciplined in every single area all at once?
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  Speaker 1: So talking to my twenty two year old self, is
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  Speaker 1: that what we're is that what we're doing here?
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  Speaker 4: I think part of it.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: Is also defining what discipline looks like for you, because
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  Speaker 1: I also know that there were times in my life
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  Speaker 1: where I was trying to be disciplined in every area
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  Speaker 1: of my life. Maybe I wanted to perform a certain
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: way at work, and then I wanted to perform a
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: certain way at the gym, and then as I was
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: starting to get into content creation, I wanted to be
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  Speaker 1: disciplined with that. I was using other people's measures of
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: success for those things, and I think that can be
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: especially tempting. When we're trying something new, or when we're
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: adopting a new habit. It's like we want to do
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: it exactly how we see someone else do it, and
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: if we're not doing it that way, then it's failure.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: And I think learning how to figure out what discipline
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: looks like in those various areas for yourself is really
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: really valuable because that way you can gauge like does
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: this feel good? Am I even aligned to this goal?
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: Like why do I want to be disciplined in these
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: other areas? What does that even look like for me?
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: Do I need to be? And being able to ask
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: yourself those questions I think can be really really helpful.
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: Taking a break from today's episode to give some love
• 16:12
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• 16:50
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• 16:56
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• 16:59
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• 17:03
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  Speaker 3: slash hurdle. Again, that is Athleticgreens dot com slash hurdle
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: to get five free at trablepacks plus a year's supply
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: of Vitamin D for free with your purchase. Again that's
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: Athleticgreens dot com slash hurdle, No code necessary, super helpful.
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: And if you are trying to be disciplined to acting
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: on something that you see on social media or basing
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: your own experiences off of somebody else's goals, then there
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: is an inevitable letdown just lingering in your future.
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: And that is what we want to avoid.
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: So getting really honest about the things that you really
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: care about, the things that are again we use this
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: buzzword priorities for you is step like you know, negative
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: one when it comes to executing on your personal discipline
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: one percent. This person then starting to see some small
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: wins in the regular routine, feeling as though they're starting
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: to get things under control, but then they have a
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: slip up.
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: It happens to all of us.
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: Yes, when you have these slip ups, what is your
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: advice to the people that are listening.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh, slip ups quickly turn into snowballs. And so
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: I think if you can acknowledge it before it's snowballs,
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: that can be super helpful. And if you acknowledge it
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: after it's snowballs, that's okay to not throw in the towel.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: But I think it's important to understand, like where does
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: a slip up come from?
• 20:10
  Speaker 4: What led to that?
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: What were you either trying to soothe or accommodate for
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: or like For me, that's usually my thing is my
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: biggest slip up is usually like screen time on my
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: phone goes through the roof. That's usually like my biggest
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: slip up is how much time did I spend on
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: TikTok today? How much time did I spend on Instagram
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: today far beyond my screen limit goals or nothing that
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: would be considered work by any means. And so when
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, why was I doing that? Like, let
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: me question that behavior, I usually find it's because I
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: was procrastinating on some other tasks, or why was I
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: procrastinating on some other task because it's really uncomfortable and
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: I didn't know how to do it, and I think
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: I need help, but I honestly don't even know where
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: to turn to for help, so I just zoned out
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: on TikTok instead. And it's like, Okay, now that I
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: know why I was conducting this behavior and had this
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: slip up, then I can actually solve the problem instead
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: of then just beating myself up about how I ruin
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: my screen time metrics and was unproductive and then, you know,
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: just go down this whole rabbit hole of continuing.
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: On that note, I feel like we go back to
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: this idea of having grace with ourselves and also recognizing
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: that any single second is your opportunity to start over. Right,
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: So if this slip up happens, okay, we have a
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: chance to learn from that, execute and understand via the
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: practices that you just explained, and then take that opportunity
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: to then start fresh literally within seconds, within minutes, maybe
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: it's at the start of the new day, and.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: Then you can actually solve what the problem is. Because
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: sometimes when we have these like quote unquote slip ups.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: We tend to reach for things that maybe make us
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: feel better in that moment, but then as soon as
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: that moment's over, you tend to feel worse. Whether it's
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: from like a sugar hangover or whether it's from a
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: social media hangover. Those things don't actually solve the problem.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: And then what happens is what was initially bugging us
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: is still bugging us. And then also whatever it is
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: that we were doing the self suit that didn't actually help,
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: also makes us not feel that great. So by solving
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: the initial problem or getting to that root of it,
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: that's when we can actually find the relief.
• 22:30
  Speaker 4: Definitely, definitely.
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: So when we think about discipline and like kind of
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: take a step back for a second in zoom out
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: and we think about how tiring discipline can be at times,
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: I think this is probably the biggest quote unquote complaint
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: that we see. Especially I mean, coming from a little
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: bit more of a sympathetic lens, a lot of us
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: feel extremely burnt out from the last couple of years
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: navigating gestures loosely how everything is going in the world.
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: So for those people that feel like they don't have
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: the capacity for discipline, what do we say to.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: Them, yeah, I say don't, but I say that like
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: don't don't, then don't do the thing, just don't. And
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: then if you're not going to do the thing own
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: not doing the thing, like don't sit and ruminate over
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: that thing that you're not doing. Let it go and
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: try again another time. But what happens is that we
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: tend to like decide we're not going to do the thing,
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: like Okay, I'm tired, I'm exhausted, I'm not gonna go
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: for that run or clean the house or whatever the
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: thing is. And then we sit and then we think
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: about how much we should be doing the thing, and like,
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: if you're not going to do it, that's okay, don't
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: do it and let it go and maybe do it
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: next time. Maybe don't, but let it go.
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: It's hard, right, It feels easier said than done at times,
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: And I think sometimes when it comes to discipline, bringing
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: us kind of full circle here, you have to think
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: again about the things that bring you that enjoyment and
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: that thought that remember, like that moment in your head
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: is going to be the thing that motivates your discipline
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: even on the days where you don't feel like it.
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: There's a difference between being like, I'm so burnt out.
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: This week has been hell. I just I literally cannot
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: right now, versus like being a little tired in your
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: bed in the morning, knowing that your bed feels good,
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: but also knowing you're going to feel a lot better
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: if you get up and move your body for thirty minutes.
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah. That being able to distinguish that is key,
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: absolutely key.
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: I also think something that can be really helpful that
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: we haven't touched on yet when it comes to discipline
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: is roping other people into your experience, finding yourself some
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: sort of an accountability buddy for the things that you
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: might need a little extra love on when it comes
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: to holding firm in that discipline. Have you ever done
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: anything like that? Have you ever reached out to accountability
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: buddies for that? I definitely have. I definitely have. It's
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: something that I personally struggle with as someone who is
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: usually very hard on myself. It's like, all day long,
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: I'm repeating to myself the things that I need to
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: be doing, and then as soon as someone else asks
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: about it, I'm like.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: It's on repeat in my head all day. But I
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: do think that for those people who are not like
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: the upholder who need a little bit more of that
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: external motivation, it can be so helpful. I think a
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: place where we really see this be particularly helpful is
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: in fitness. Like I spent ten years working as a
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: personal trainer, So for clients who were seeking my support,
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: knowing that they paid me for a session, or that
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: I would be looking for them if they didn't show
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: up for the gym would be incredibly helpful. Those people
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: who love group fitness and like that is what keeps
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: them in it, it can be incredibly incredibly helpful.
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: What other tips do you have for us anything we
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: haven't touched on yet?
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: Goodness, that's a great question. You know. When I think
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: about discipline and when I think about times where I
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: need to muster up a little bit more discipline than others,
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: it's usually when I'm thinking about keeping a promise to myself,
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: and I find that when I'm able to best follow
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: through with that, it's what I've made a promise to
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: myself that feels really meaningful versus the times that I don't.
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: It's like maybe I made a promise to myself that
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, actually, I didn't care that much about that.
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: And so for anybody looking to have more discipline, I
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: invite you to constantly look at those promises that you
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: are making to yourself, audit them. Do they still matter?
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: Do they matter today? Will they matter tomorrow? Will they
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: matter in five years? For those things that are resounding yes,
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: then those are going to be the things that you
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: really want to prioritize and look at and have those
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: promises that you want to keep to yourself. And for
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: those things where it's like not so much, be flexible
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: with it.
• 26:54
  Speaker 4: Be flexible with it.
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: What would you say right now you are focused on
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: in terms of discipline, and what are you trying to
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: be more disciplined with in your life? Yeah?
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: I love this question, So I would say for me
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: definitely is my finances. I'm like literally so close to
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: paying off my student loans that I have had for
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: a really long time. And it's going to be the
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: first time in my adult life like not having debt
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: and not having that kind of burden over my head.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: And I graduated with a lot of debt and it's
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: taken a long time to pay it off, and I've
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: had a lot of discipline with it for a long time,
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: which is why I'm so close to paying it off,
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: but really being in the home stretch, Like there's so
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: many times where it would be so tempting to like
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: go to Aritzia and get the TikTok that girl es
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: that I felt want to so bad, And then I
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: log into my statement and I'm like, man, you know,
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: those items would probably feel really good in the moment,
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: and I'm buying it, but like putting that towards knocking
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: down this debt for me would actually feel far better
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: for far longer, And so I keep making the choice
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: to do that over and over. So that's been pretty rewarding.
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: We love discipline and finances.
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: I feel like lately money for me has been like
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: a hot button topic and thinking about investing and budgeting
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: and just being a little bit better with it. I
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: think it also goes hand in hand with tax season,
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: so I totally totally hear the creator tax season. I right, gosh,
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: it is every year it gets real real. What else
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: excites to you right now, Leash.
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: That's such a great question. You know, I'm excited about spring.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: We were kind of talking about this earlier before we
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: started recording. I feel like I just come alive when
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: the days become longer, we can spend a little bit
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: more time outside being active. It's just that time of
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: year when so many of us kind of come alive,
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: and I'm really excited to move towards longer days.
• 29:05
  Speaker 4: You and me both.
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: I am feeling excited about spring. I'm also feeling really
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: excited to be disciplined. After this conversation, talk to me
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: a little bit. Tell the hurdlers where they can find you,
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: where they can follow along with you, keep up with you,
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: give us all of your details.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: Yes, so you can find my podcast Balanced Black Girl.
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: Wherever you're listening to this podcast, we're here too, coming
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: out with new episodes every Tuesday with myself, other women
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: of color wellness experts talking about all things wellness. We
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: talk about health, nutrition, hormones, spirituality, personal development, finances, like
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: anything related to well being. So you can find me there.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: And then I'm on Instagram at balanced Less we love it.
• 29:49
  Speaker 3: I'm over at Emily a Body and at Hurdle Podcast
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: Another Hurdle Conquered.
• 29:54
  Speaker 4: Catch you guys next time.