Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 3 - Episode 101 - Why we care about what others think

Transcript

Season 3 - Episode 101 - Why we care about what others think · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the Good Morning From the Chicken Coop Podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and mastermind set
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  coach. Filled with inspiration,
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  distinctions, perspectives, and possibilities, we help you to
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  cultivate a mindset that leads you to create the best version
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  of yourself you could ever imagine.
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  Join Kim every morning from one of her favorite happy places,
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  her chicken coop along with all her chickens.
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  Hey everybody, good morning from the chicken coop.
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  So today I want to talk to you a little bit about why we care so
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  much about what other people think about us.
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  This is been coming up a lot and not in my personal life but with
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  my clients. And I thought it would be worth
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  it to address it with all of you since it seems to be something
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  that's out there floating in the world right now worrying about
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  what other people are going to think.
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  And I I know this is something that's we we are hard wired
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  since you if. You went to middle school?
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  You actually understand this on such a deep level because
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  anybody who's gone to middle school, which is.
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  All of us. Hopefully gets the fact that you
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  worry about what other people think.
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  You don't want to be that kid that has that any way to stand
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  out that isn't in a great way. And even the ones who are, you
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  know, the ones, the popular kids, they still worried about
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  it. They just didn't do it in the
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  same way it's it. Middle school is.
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  Probably the the breeding ground of all trauma as.
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  Far as I'm concerned for so many people because they'll all come
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  back and they'll say, well, when I was in middle school and I was
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  like note to myself, gosh, middle school and my middle
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  school experience was no better. Believe me, I did not enjoy
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  middle school at all. There was a chunk of time that I
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  could. Technically, say, let's.
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  Do redo that. It would be middle school for
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  sure. But in any event, we digress.
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  I. Don't want to go down there?
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  Let's go back to the. Fact of you have to let yourself
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  understand that there's a part of you that you it's hard wired
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  into us to have social behaviors and social cues from other
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  people because they're important, right?
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  You do want other people to as a society, as a as a thriving
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  species, we look to others to shape us and part of that can be
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  healthy, part of it is healthy, but not at the detriment of
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  yourself. Again, this comes back to always
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  being self aware and really looking at how you're processing
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  stuff. There's a really awesome quote
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  from Lao Tzu who says care what other people think and you will
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  always be their prisoner. And boy, isn't that the truth.
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  I mean, go back even to middle school.
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  I mean I can tell you how many times I heard my father say why
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  do you care what they think? But, you know, it's really easy
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  for someone who's in their 40s to be telling somebody who's
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  1011 and 12 not to care what other people think and not
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  knowing where that person is in their little mind and their
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  little development. So we all have these issues with
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  this showing up. At some point in our life, we
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  become prisoners of other people by giving them the power and
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  allowing what they think to become our reality.
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  So I'll give you a great example.
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  When I was going to shoot, when I was going to begin the process
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  of, you know, recording out in the chicken coop and possibly
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  shooting videos and things out here, I had this whole thing in
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  my head about, well, I wonder what people are going to think
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  as a professional who's recording from her chicken coop.
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  And it I had to go through this process.
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  Now, did it take me a long time? No, it didn't take me a long
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  time because I recognize the information it was trying to
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  give me. And then I use that information
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  and I came to the conclusion, which is why you're listening to
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  me out in my chicken coop, because this is one of my most
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  happy places. I love hanging out with my
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  chickens. And granted, right now some of
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  them are here, but a lot of them are far away out, free ranging,
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  having fun doing whatever they're doing, looking for bugs.
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  But it's nonetheless, I'm still happy to be here with the ones
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  that I have, and this is one of my I have to look at myself.
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  How do I want to say this? I want to look at myself and say
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  just because this is not the same as what other people like,
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  it doesn't mean that I can't bring it forward and share it
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  with people and let people know that I like it.
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  It's that originality of saying, you know what?
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  People are entitled to their opinions and they can keep their
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  opinions, they can share their opinions, but I don't have to
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  keep their opinion. I can decide.
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  Just like I don't have to keep the garbage in the house every
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  night. If I want to take it out, I can
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  take it out. I don't have to hang on to
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  things. I don't have to make everything
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  a collection and curate it and leased off somebody else's
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  opinions about things. And I think we're we have become
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  so sensitive to what other people think right now in
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  society. We don't want to accept
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  ourselves for who we are and where we are because we're
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  worried about what other people are going to think.
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  So a lot of us have retreated and just said, well, I'm going
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  to, I'm going to just go down this other road and isolate
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  myself or I'm going to not truly share who I am.
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  And that's fine if you're doing it for the right reason, but if
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  you're doing it to hide, it's never the right reason.
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  And it's important to say no. I'm going to stand in the truth
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  of who I am. I'm going to accept myself for
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  who I am. I'm going to love myself for who
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  I am, and I'm going to give myself the grace and the space
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  to cultivate that person into the greatest version of myself
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  that I can be, and not according to what other people think.
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  According to you, you've got to liberate yourself from the
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  thoughts that it matters, what anyone else thinks.
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  And maybe you have, you know, that close person in your life.
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  Like I have a few close people in my life and I will go to them
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  for their opinions on things. Doesn't mean I'll take them, but
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  I trust them. And I'll go to them and I'll
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  say, OK, what are your thoughts on this?
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  And you know, my husband being one of them, And sometimes he'll
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  say to me, you know, I don't, I don't know how that would go or
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  I'm not sure about that. Or he'll give me his opinion.
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  Doesn't mean I have to take it. Just means that I've checked in,
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  I've gotten some information again, but I don't have to hold
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  on to it. I don't have to keep it.
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  So the lesson today all about accepting yourself for who you
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  are, where you are and giving yourself the freedom, the the,
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  the just, the Peace of Mind that I don't care what other people
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  think and I am no longer going to be a prisoner of anyone is
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  just absolutely freeing. So hopefully today this is going
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  to be helpful to you and I will see you tomorrow.
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  Have a great day guys. Bye.