Latest / Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design / 102 | 3 Questions That Helped Me Break Free From My Money Blocks, Shift My Money Mindset & Budget
Transcript
- 0:00Erin Gray: Have you ever felt like, no matter how much money you make, how much you've invested, doesn't feel like enough?
- 0:05Erin Gray: Maybe you feel guilty for spending or fear that you're going to run out at some point?
- 0:09Erin Gray: I've been there and the truth is it wasn't about my bank account.
- 0:12Erin Gray: It was about my belief systems.
- 0:14Erin Gray: So today I'm going to share three powerful questions that I asked myself to uncover my own money blocks and shift into a healthier, more sufficient and abundant relationship with money.
- 0:24Erin Gray: Do you want to create a system to stop avoiding your money?
- 0:26Erin Gray: Maybe you're feeling guilt and shame when it comes to finances.
- 0:30Erin Gray: Welcome to your Money, your Rules.
- 0:32Erin Gray: I'm Erin, a former certified financial planner and CFO, and yet I used to avoid my money and had fear, no matter how much we had.
- 0:41Erin Gray: I can't wait to teach you how I overcame my money avoidance and started consistently managing my finances in a really simple way.
- 0:48Erin Gray: It's time to get comfortable with money.
- 0:51Erin Gray: Before we dive into this week's episode, I want to invite you to join me for a one-on-one master your money coaching session.
- 0:57Erin Gray: During this hour.
- 0:59Erin Gray: We'll work together to create a tailored plan that helps you align your finances with your unique goals, energy and mindset.
- 1:06Erin Gray: If you're ready to transform your relationship with money and create the freedom and abundance you deserve.
- 1:11Erin Gray: Head over to my website generatealifewelllivedcom and schedule your session.
- 1:17Erin Gray: I know I've talked in previous episodes that for years probably from 20 to 40, you know my working life I was so focused on making more money, investing more money, and even though when I hit those financial goals I still felt stressed guilty and outsourcing some of my power to our advisors, and then that's when, you know, I realized that it wasn't just about earning and investing more.
- 1:45Erin Gray: I think, really, when it hit home to me is when I decided to take time off.
- 1:49Erin Gray: It was really getting down and uncovering those beliefs that were running in the background.
- 1:55Erin Gray: You know my financial decisions and I started asking myself deep, uncomfortable questions and also taking action, because I believe it's when we take action that it brings up our belief systems and that's when things actually started to change.
- 2:13Erin Gray: I think a lot of times, maybe with self-development, we want to sit and journal about stuff, which I think does have its place, but sometimes we can get so heady with our journaling or trying to change beliefs versus just going and taking action, and then it's going to, it's going to bring up those things and then that gives us those that opportunity to work through that.
- 2:35Erin Gray: So the first question that I asked is what stories about money did I inherit from my family?
- 2:43Erin Gray: You know we all grew up with hearing different messages about money, right, whether it might be.
- 2:49Erin Gray: Money doesn't grow on trees, or you have to work hard for money, or that's expensive.
- 2:54Erin Gray: I was just talking to a client this week about she was making a comment about it's oh, that's really expensive.
- 3:01Erin Gray: Oh, that's really expensive.
- 3:01Erin Gray: She was making a comment about it's oh, that's really expensive.
- 3:03Erin Gray: Oh, that's really expensive.
- 3:04Erin Gray: Oh, that's really expensive.
- 3:05Erin Gray: And I'm like is it really expensive or is it more so that you don't value the amount that is being charged for what you're going to receive in return?
- 3:20Erin Gray: So if you can flip the switch on some of those things because expensive to me feels very, on some of those things because expensive to me feels very, I can't have energy.
- 3:25Erin Gray: Versus I'm choosing not to buy this because I don't see the value in the price that they're charging.
- 3:32Erin Gray: You know these beliefs that we have from childhood.
- 3:35Erin Gray: They shape everything, how we earn our money, right?
- 3:39Erin Gray: If you believe that you have to work hard for money which is what I grew up believing then you will right.
- 3:45Erin Gray: I worked a lot of hours, I was stressed a lot because that's the way I thought money was created.
- 3:51Erin Gray: So it affects or it shapes right how we earn, how we spend or invest our money, how we save it right, without, if we're not aware, without even realizing it.
- 4:03Erin Gray: So ask yourself and it could be good for you to take some of these questions and just sit in journal and get really clear on a piece of paper what did I hear about money growing up?
- 4:14Erin Gray: Or for some of you it might be what did I not hear?
- 4:18Erin Gray: Maybe your parents didn't talk about money at all and that was hush hush, like that was a bad thing to discuss money.
- 4:23Erin Gray: So were you left to figure it out and how is that still showing up in your life today?
- 4:31Erin Gray: Number two is what emotions come up when I think about money.
- 4:36Erin Gray: So money isn't just about numbers.
- 4:41Erin Gray: In the beginning, right when we are doing this work, it is so deeply emotional and so often the financial advisor that you have or the CPA wants to talk numbers with us, right, and in a way it's like money is just numbers and money isn't just numbers, right, money is just literally numbers on a piece of paper, and also it is so emotional.
- 5:03Erin Gray: So if we haven't gotten to the space where our body feels neutral about it, it's not just numbers, right.
- 5:10Erin Gray: They're highly emotional and sometimes it's deeply triggering.
- 5:13Erin Gray: So do you feel stressed about money, or guilty or ashamed when you think about your finances or how you interact with your finances?
- 5:22Erin Gray: Those emotions are really good clues to those deeper money blocks that you might be having.
- 5:28Erin Gray: You know, I always say our emotions are an invitation for us to go inward and to have more compassion for ourselves.
- 5:35Erin Gray: So what do you need in this moment when you're feeling stressed or ashamed, or you're feeling guilty?
- 5:41Erin Gray: Do you need to put your hand on your heart?
- 5:44Erin Gray: Do you want to speak kindly to yourself?
- 5:46Erin Gray: Do you need to make yourself your favorite beverage and sit for a bit?
- 5:51Erin Gray: Maybe you just need to focus on your breathing.
- 5:53Erin Gray: You know you could do box breathing.
- 5:55Erin Gray: You could just notice is your breast shallow?
- 5:57Erin Gray: Is it really deep in your belly?
- 5:59Erin Gray: Like what are you feeling in your body?
- 6:01Erin Gray: Just being aware of that and asking yourself you know, when I check my bank account or make a financial decision, what are the emotions that are coming up?
- 6:11Erin Gray: Where do those feelings come from?
- 6:15Erin Gray: And then I think, I mean, I think it's all powerful, but really we have to focus on what's the story that we want to believe about money?
- 6:22Erin Gray: I think sometimes we can get into continuing to talk about what we grew up with and all of that which has its place, and also focusing and spending equal, if not more, amount of time of what do I want to believe about money.
- 6:35Erin Gray: Right, Once you identify your old money beliefs, you get to rewrite your financial story.
- 6:40Erin Gray: I think the greatest thing we can do for ourselves and our children is to change the trajectory of where we are going.
- 6:48Erin Gray: Many of us came from families with scarcity mindset.
- 6:51Erin Gray: Right, our parents, our parents, parents like it's generational, it's in the DNA.
- 6:56Erin Gray: We get to help our children have a different childhood and different belief systems and emotions around money.
- 7:03Erin Gray: And if your kids are grown, I want to say it's not too late.
- 7:07Erin Gray: When you change your beliefs and your state of being around money, it trickles down to your kids.
- 7:12Erin Gray: You know conversations with your adult children can change because of how you change your relationship with money.
- 7:22Erin Gray: So, instead of believing that money is stressful, what if you started believing that money is a tool?
- 7:28Erin Gray: What if we just got to neutrality?
- 7:30Erin Gray: Can we agree that money is just a tool, like if you were to use I mean, I'm not so great in the yard but my husband is and he has all these different tools and if he wanted me to use a rake, but I showed up with a shovel, the shovel isn't bad, it's just not the best tool for the job, right?
- 7:52Erin Gray: So if money can be like a rake and we can think of it just as a tool, then you get to have more choice and freedom because of the money that you have.
- 8:03Erin Gray: You get to decide how do you want to use this tool and ask yourself you know, if I fully trusted myself with money, how would I think and how would I feel and how would I act differently?
- 8:17Erin Gray: Who is that woman that has a more easeful relationship with money?
- 8:21Erin Gray: Who is that woman that feels ease when she spends her money?
- 8:27Erin Gray: Who is that woman that values herself enough to buy things that she loves and that bring her joy?
- 8:37Erin Gray: So, to recap, first and foremost, what stories about money did you inherit from your family?
- 8:46Erin Gray: Get a journal, write these belief systems down, see them on paper for what they are Thoughts, right?
- 8:53Erin Gray: Beliefs are just thoughts that you think over and over and over again.
- 8:56Erin Gray: So they're thoughts.
- 8:58Erin Gray: They're not facts, because you can find evidence for the opposite, correct.
- 9:02Erin Gray: So they are thoughts, they're not facts.
- 9:06Erin Gray: Number two what emotions come up when I think about money?
- 9:09Erin Gray: And this I don't think.
- 9:11Erin Gray: Yes, you can put it on your journal, but this is more of a felt sense in your body.
- 9:15Erin Gray: What are the physical sensations that I feel in my body when I look at my money, when I invest our money, or don't invest our money because I'm afraid?
- 9:23Erin Gray: What do I feel when I ask for money for my services?
- 9:27Erin Gray: Do I get all squirrely about it and get in my head, or am I just like?
- 9:31Erin Gray: This is the price.
- 9:32Erin Gray: If this is, you want to work with me.
- 9:35Erin Gray: This is the price.
- 9:35Erin Gray: Where in your body is it coming up?
- 9:39Erin Gray: Get curious about this and pay attention to this.
- 9:43Erin Gray: And the last one and I think, like I mentioned, it probably is the most powerful in practicing is what is the story I want to believe about money?
- 9:51Erin Gray: You have to decide ahead of time how you want to be with your money.
- 9:55Erin Gray: This is a skill set, right?
- 9:57Erin Gray: We're going to plan and do and then notice when we drop out of this state of being right.
- 10:02Erin Gray: You can get back, you can lower the refractory period and it's okay, right, we're learning.
- 10:09Erin Gray: This is a skill set.
- 10:10Erin Gray: That's what I have for you, ladies, today the way that you think about your money.
- 10:15Erin Gray: It shapes your financial reality.
- 10:18Erin Gray: Okay, my friends, I'll see you in the next episode.
- 10:21Erin Gray: I want to invite you to join me for a one-on-one master your money coaching session.
- 10:25Erin Gray: During this hour, we'll work together to create a tailored plan that helps you align your finances with your unique goals, energy and mindset.
- 10:34Erin Gray: If you're ready to transform your relationship with money and create the freedom and abundance you deserve, head over to my website generatealifewelllivedcom and schedule your session.
- 10:44Erin Gray: Did you learn something today?
- 10:46Erin Gray: Do you know another female entrepreneur who might be avoiding her money?
- 10:50Erin Gray: Will you send this episode over to her for me and, if you have it in you, please leave me a review for this podcast?
- 10:57Erin Gray: It helps the show grow and I love hearing from you.
- 11:00Erin Gray: See you next week.