Latest / We Talk Back / Sex and the City Ft. Efeti Egun

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Sex and the City Ft. Efeti Egun · We Talk Back

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: talk back.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: And we back. What's up, y'all? Thank you for tuning
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: in for a new episode of We Talk Back. It's
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: your co-host, AJ Holiday. What's up, Tam? Hey, y'all.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: This is dedicated to you niggas and these hoes and
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: everybody in between.
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: AJ ain't say that. I said it today. Hey, y'all.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: Hey, girl.
• 0:27
  Speaker 4: Hey, y'all.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: What's up, Josh?
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: How you doing?
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: I am in recovery mode, child. My first week of 2023,
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: I got beat the fuck up by some little bug
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: I picked up probably at this house party I went
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: to at my homegirl house, but I'm recovering.
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: You might have had COVID, friend. You might have had COVID.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: No, I don't know what COVID feels like, but I
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: didn't lose my taste, smell, none of that shit. You know,
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: it reminded me of like when I was really young
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: and I used to have bronchitis a lot. That's what
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: it felt like.
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: But that's what COVID be feeling like, bruh.
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but these things existed prior to COVID.
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: So why you don't like the test?
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: Because I feel like sometimes the test can be contaminated.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: The last time I took a COVID test, I got sick. Now,
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: I could have very well had COVID at that time.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: But I literally took a COVID test. And in 24 hours,
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: I was sick from having stuck some shit up my nose.
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: But you was already feeling sick. That's why you took
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: the COVID test. No, I wasn't.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: No, I took the COVID test to travel back from Jamaica.
• 1:30
  Speaker 5: Oh.
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't know. I ain't never heard of nobody
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: getting sick from the test.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: You don't know, though. You don't know. Yeah, you right.
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: That was my weekend, y'all. If y'all can't fucking know,
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: I was sick. And now I'm back. Went to the
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: gym yesterday. I'm here today. It's what it is.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: What's up? I think I stayed in my house. Oh, no,
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: I'm lying. I went outside. You're always outside, bitch.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: You be lying.
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: I went to see Carlos Miller.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: Carlos Miller at the Ovens Auditorium here in Charlotte. Y'all,
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: when I tell you this nigga was so funny.
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: He's hilarious.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: He one of my favorites. This nigga was so funny.
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God. He had me like holding on to
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: my stomach laughing. Like laughing like that. That boy is funny.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: And he also agreed to have me and AJ on
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: 85 South.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: So y'all stay tuned for that. We will do that
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: this year.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: So that's a good time. And that's really all I
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: did after I went to the show. We all went to.
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: This place called Tattoos and Booze in Charlotte to see
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: the fight. Gervonta. Gervonta.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: Gervonta Davis.
• 2:41
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 2:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: We watched the fight there. Well, I only watched a
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: few minutes of it because. My bunion started hurting on
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: my left foot and baby had to go because we.
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: Didn't have a table and I don't do that. So
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: I had to get up out of there. But that
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: was it.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: I love Carlos Miller. He's one of my favorite comedians.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: And I like Corey Holcomb. Corey Holcomb and Carlos Miller.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: They're my people.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: Corey Holcomb definitely will go there. He's one of the
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: people who's not afraid to say whatever the fuck they
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: want to say.
• 3:11
  Speaker 5: At all.
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: And sometimes that shit might not. It's like, nigga, why
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: you say that? Like, how you even fix your mouth?
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: It's so embarrassing. Like, I feel embarrassed. Yeah. You said
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: that shit. Yeah, he definitely pushed the goddamn envelope.
• 3:24
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: For sure.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: But Carlos Miller is like, he like that funny ass homeboy,
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: that funny ass cousin. This nigga don't, I don't even
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: think he, does he even write some shit? He just
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: be funny.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: I think he just go out there and start talking.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: Because like half of the comedy came from the crowd.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: Like it wasn't even like him telling a joke. Like, oh,
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: you know, yeah, it was like a girl in there
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: with a key chain with a blunt cutter on it.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: And he did a whole set about a blunt cutter
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: just that quick. You know, and it wasn't, you know,
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: you couldn't explain that.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: That's magic.
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: That is magic.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: He's magical. But you know, the 85 South show, they
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: do improv for that show too. They don't really like
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: have a skip. Them niggas just go out there and
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: act a goddamn fool.
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: I love it.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: That's a real life talent.
• 4:07
  Speaker 5: Talent.
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: That's the shit you can't get on Instagram. Yeah.
• 4:10
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: I like that.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: He asked me if my pussy was played by a
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: person in a movie, who would my pussy be? And
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: I just could not think of who my pussy would be.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: I eventually went with, in the beginning, my pussy would
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: be Eartha Kitt.
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: Marcus, darling. And then my pussy was played by Cicely
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: Tyson in the end. A strong, strong pussy that all
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: my life I had to fight pussy.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: You stupid.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: One girl was like, my pussy would be played by
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: Issa Rae. He was like, you got an insecure pussy.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: Yo.
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: You got a broken pussy, bitch.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to think who mine would be played by.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: I don't know. Earthy Kid is a good one, man. Yeah.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: I don't know. That's a good one. All right.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: Let's get into the sins of this week's stupid internet news.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: I don't know if y'all watch football. I really don't.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: But I saw this on social media. that the Pittsburgh
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: Steelers defeated the Cleveland Browns 28-14. And in celebration, they
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: did CPR motions to one of the players on the
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: field as a victory dance. And, you know, last week,
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: DeMar Hamlin, you know, needed CPR on the field because
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: he went into cardiac arrest.
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: And I just thought that was real tacky.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's kind of disrespectful. That guy could have passed away. Like,
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: would y'all have done it then?
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: It's super disrespectful. And it's just, like, tasteless. I mean,
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: by the grace of God, that man is still here
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: with us.
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: You know? God bless him. And he'll never play again,
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: that's for sure.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: I agree that they would pay him out of his
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: full contract, which is a good thing. They should.
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: Do for everybody.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: Exactly. I was wondering, like, what happens in that case?
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: Because we know football players, contracts oftentimes aren't guaranteed. So
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: do they have health insurance and stuff like that, like
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: a regular person would?
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: I'm hoping so.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: I would like to think so, anyway. But that's whack
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: as fuck that they did that.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a traumatic experience for everybody that was on
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: the field during that time. Y'all whack as hell for that.
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: And it was just last week.
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, y'all didn't even wait.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: It was just last week.
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: I hope they get some kind of fine for that shit.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so Hamlin's good. He tweeted Saturday. He was like,
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: who won?
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: The doctor told him that he won the game of life.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: Period.
• 6:51
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: Black people are so funny, man. We can turn some
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: really bad shit into a good time all the time.
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: Or we can take it and run out like doing CPR.
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: That was stupid. Stupid internet news.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: And other stupid internet news. Young Thug trial is due
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: to begin, I believe, in the next coming weeks anyway.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: But right now they're in jury selection. So while in
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: jury selection, the judge, he's basically reading out the lyrics
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: of some of Young Thug's songs in court. And I
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: thought that the jurors are supposed to be like, you know, non-biased.
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: They should know all these details about the case until
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: they're actually selected to be a juror. So to me,
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: it's kind of like they're almost tainting the jury, already
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: convicting Young Thug if this is how they're now handling
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: shit in court. So I know in California, they threw
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: out using lyrics in court, but apparently this still stands
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: in the state of Georgia where they will use rap
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: lyrics in particular, because we do have the most violent music, right?
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: They are now using lyrics against these artists in court.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: And I mean, we're in a place like Atlanta, they're
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: in a place like Atlanta, Georgia. Everybody's a fucking rapper.
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: Okay?
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: It's like, you can't have anything happen and then you
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: rapped about even some shit that don't have anything to
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: do with anything that you're currently in trouble for. They
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: may use those lyrics In the court of law, what
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: you think about that? Do you think that, you know,
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: because it's art imitating life or vice versa? Which one
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: is it?
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: You know, for me, it's kind of slippery slope.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: Because if you're a rapper and you made a song
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: and my cousin got killed and he's like, yeah, slice
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: Pookie ass up with a knife and put his body
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: in a ditch. And that's really what happened to my
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: cousin Pookie. I'm going to need that to be used
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: in court to get you convicted.
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: Right. So there's a part of me that feels that way.
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: But then there's also a part of me.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: That feels like a lot of the times these rappers
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: just be entertainers and it's a lot of cap in
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: the songs. And y'all using it to make them look
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: bad when in actuality it's just music, you know?
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: It's just for entertainment purposes. So it is a slippery
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: slope for me, you know?
• 9:19
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: And he's using lyrics from a 2016 song, Slime Shit.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: So listen, the lyrics are... When you read lyrics out,
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: it's like, what the fuck are y'all niggas really saying?
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: It's the beat that be nice. These niggas cannot rap, okay?
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: It says, hey, this, that slime shit. Hey, YSL shit. Hey,
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: killing 12 shit. This is fucked up, okay? Hey, fuck
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: a jail shit. Hey, cooking white brick. Hey, hey, I'm
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: not new to this. Hey, I'm so true to this. Hey,
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: I done put a whole slime on a hundred licks
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: you read it.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: Better than that judge cause he was fucking it up
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: I was like at least read it to the beat
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: judge god damn look I.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: Remember when I was living in Atlanta there used to
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: be like billboards that basically the police was trying to
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: hire people to interpret gang slang so they were trying
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: to hire civilians to help them you know understand yes
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: This is a whole nother language.
• 10:22
  Speaker 5: Mm-hmm.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: So the judge proceeding over the trial is a Judge Glainville.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: He's a black man. I don't know. I don't think
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: that they should be able to use lyrics in court.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: I think that in this case, Young Thug does not
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: just need a defense attorney. He needs a civil law attorney.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: He needs a couple people in there because This freedom
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: of speech, I feel like he should be able to
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: get the lyrics thrown out. The use of the lyrics
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: in the crimes. Because a lot of their case is
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: based on the lyrics in these songs.
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: Songs, yeah.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: And that's not fair. So I think he needs a
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: civil rights attorney and then just like somebody to interpret
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: the law. Because I don't see how this is legal
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: for them to read it out to the jurors.
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: Right. During jury selection. That's wild.
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's weird. So it's a lot of unprecedented shit
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: happening in this case.
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: They always say the jury is going to be members
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: of your peers. They already know them lyrics if it's
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: members of your peers.
• 11:21
  Speaker 5: Right. Yep.
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: But it ain't. It's some old lady from Marietta.
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, this says September last year, Governor Newsom signed the
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: Decriminalizing Artistic Expression Act, AB 2799. So it effectively... bans
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: the use of rap lyrics as evidence in court and
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: making California the first state to pass such a law.
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: They need that law. That should be a federal law.
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: In Georgia, especially, because there's a lot of rappers in Georgia.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: And then with the gang community in California, as rampant
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: as it is, if they really wanted to put niggas
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: in jail, they would not have enforced something like this.
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: They would just let it be and use all those
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: lyrics against the artists. But also.
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: It would be wise to not incriminate yourself in your
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: music at all also, you know?
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: That's the weird part about it. It's like our generation,
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: we did things discreetly. With the drill music, these young
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: guys are literally committing crimes and putting it on wax.
• 12:22
  Speaker 5: Mm-hmm.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: It's so weird. Like you don't even have to snitch
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: on them anymore. They snitching themselves.
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: Get somebody else to do it. That's my favorite shit.
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: I know. Isn't it fun? And you got to do it.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: You got to say just like her. Get somebody else
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: to do it. All right.
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: What else happened?
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: All right. I'm sick of these people. Okay. So I
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: know I sent you a couple of clips online after
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: we spoke about this earlier. So the family of Big Scar,
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: he's a rapper who was murdered recently. He was on
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: Gucci Man's label. Gucci Man apparently told the family that
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: he would cover the funeral cost, right? So I believe
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: he passed away December 22nd at age 22. Young boy.
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: Very young.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: I don't know how long he was signed to 1017 Records,
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: but Gucci Mane said he would cover the funeral expenses.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: So some of his friends and family took to the
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: internet to say that, you know, once they asked Gucci Mane,
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: you know, was he going to cover the expenses, he
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: hung up and blocked them. For Keisha K. Orr, Gucci
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: Mane's wife, okay, she took to social media to produce evidence,
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: two receipts that she paid, that they collectively paid for flowers,
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: And $ 10, 000 towards the funeral expenses for this young man.
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: I don't know what else they could have done. The
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: family is still saying they didn't get any money. They
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: paid the money directly to the funeral home. So did
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: y'all want that money to go to your hands?
• 14:02
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: So y'all could cremate him and split that $ 9, 000?
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: I mean, they should have cremated him in the first place.
• 14:10
  Speaker 5: Why?
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: I just don't agree with spending thousands and thousands of
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: dollars on And this is my preference, right? I'll say this.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: Living your life a certain way and then putting your
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: family in a hardship when something happens to you, it's
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: very selfish. So we know that cremation is much less expensive.
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: And I don't know if it's a religion reason why
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: they have to have a burial, an actual burial. But
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: cremate that boy and keep it moving. Did he have
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: life insurance? This is the stuff we need to listen.
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: This is the hard truths. I'm sorry. It's just a
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: hard truth. Like you, you're leaving. If you need assistance
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: to bury your child, y'all don't have it. Y'all don't
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: have the money. He didn't leave any money, nothing, obviously.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: If y'all talking is crazy about somebody outside your family
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: that did assist. Yeah.
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: I don't understand why they were so, you know, people
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: mourn different and I just try not to pass judgment
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: on people mourn it. but it's unfair for them to
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: feel like Gucci didn't do enough. He didn't have to do, honestly,
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: he didn't have to do nothing. You know, nobody's entitled
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: to do anything for you.
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: Right. Did he die for you? That's the only way
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: I could think of.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: Like even then, Oh, you can say your condolences. You
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: still don't owe nobody anything financially.
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: What they did was nice. You know, they gave money,
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: they gave $ 10, 000. They sent flowers, you know, what else
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: do you want? What else do you want from somebody?
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: Oh, he's asking for his chains back too. So Gucci
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: Mane is asking for the chains that he gave this
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: young man back.
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: I don't know how I feel about that. His family
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: probably could sell those chains and get some money if
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: they need it. I wouldn't ask for it. Once I
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: give somebody something, I don't typically ask for it back.
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: I mean, they already gone. So who do you ask
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: for it back?
• 16:11
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: Or was that a down payment on his career? Why, why,
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: why do they give the chains away anyway? Like when the,
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: when the record label give a chain, is it?
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: Like a company car. It's a company car.
• 16:25
  Speaker 5: Right. Basically.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: To give them, to give them the aesthetic that you
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: need to look like legit in the rap industry.
• 16:33
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: You know, I think.
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: And we know a lot of people rent jewelry all
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: the time. So it's just like a rental while you're
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: with this group. Give that man back the jewelry, too.
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: I believe they should give the jewelry back. I doubt
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: Gucci Mane sees this jewelry. He might as well just
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: chuck it up as a loss.
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah. But it's just still a conversation about drug use
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: in our black community. Because he died from prescription overdose.
• 17:00
  Speaker 5: Young man. At 22?
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: Mm-mm-mm.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: It's a sad chain of events. Rest in peace to
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: this young man. And be grateful when somebody helps you.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: That's all I got to say on that.
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, this is real nasty, what they're doing online. It's embarrassing.
• 17:21
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: I'm embarrassed. And it's not even me.
• 17:24
  Speaker 5: I'm embarrassed. Yeah.
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: So we're going to take a break, and we're going
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: to talk dating in Los Angeles as a black woman.
• 17:30
  Speaker 5: We'll be right back.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: And we're back, okay? We have a special guest on
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: We Talk Back this week, and we want to talk
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: about dating, okay? Sex in the city, 90210 style, okay?
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: We have Efeti Ogun on We Talk Back this week, girl. Hey, girl.
• 17:53
  Speaker 5: Hi.
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: Hey, Efeti, girl.
• 17:55
  Speaker 5: Hi. I'm so nervous. Oh, my God. But I'm excited.
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: Me, too.
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: Okay, so, y'all, a little back story. I went to L.A.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: To be Simone and Megan Brooks live show for No
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: For Sure. And I met Effie there. Effie was fabulous.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: She was looking good. She was glowing. She was standing out.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: And we just got to talking about being beautiful black
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: women and dating.
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: And I was like, girl, I had to get you
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: on the show and talk about dating in L.A. So
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: thank you for coming, girl. Let's get into this.
• 18:27
  Speaker 5: Thank you guys for having me. When I say I'm
• 18:29
  Speaker 5: super excited, I am very, very excited. Super.
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: Good, good.
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: Listen, we've been going back and forth since, what was that,
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: November about a date.
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: So finally we got you here. So I'm going to
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: jump into it real quick. Do you only date Black men?
• 18:43
  Speaker 5: Yes. Exclusively only date Black men. And it's not because
• 18:48
  Speaker 5: I'm racist or anything. In college, my degree was in
• 18:54
  Speaker 5: kinesiology and my minor was in Africana studies. And I...
• 18:59
  Speaker 5: there's so many things that I learned within the Africana
• 19:01
  Speaker 5: studies course that made me just want black. I don't
• 19:04
  Speaker 5: want mixed race kids personally. I just want black children.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: Let's talk about it.
• 19:09
  Speaker 5: And I always felt like nobody can raise my child
• 19:14
  Speaker 5: to be black in America than a black man. So again,
• 19:19
  Speaker 5: everybody's beautiful though, you know, but for me, my taste
• 19:22
  Speaker 5: is like, you know, I like black men.
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: Let's talk about those studies. So what does that all entail?
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: Africana studies. What is that exactly?
• 19:30
  Speaker 5: So going into it, I thought it was just going
• 19:32
  Speaker 5: to be like African-American history, but it's deeper than that.
• 19:35
  Speaker 5: It's like the psychology, sociology. It taught me, like it
• 19:38
  Speaker 5: broadened my view on how I, I interact with Africans
• 19:44
  Speaker 5: within the diaspora. And when I say that, I mean,
• 19:47
  Speaker 5: because I am Nigerian American, my views on things are
• 19:50
  Speaker 5: somewhat different from someone who may be born and raised
• 19:52
  Speaker 5: in America as African American or somebody that's Caribbean. So
• 19:56
  Speaker 5: it just gave me a more, a broad, a broader
• 19:58
  Speaker 5: understanding and more sympathy to like, when I see certain things,
• 20:02
  Speaker 5: like I don't react like, Oh my God, that's just like,
• 20:05
  Speaker 5: who does that to me? It's like, how did they
• 20:07
  Speaker 5: grow up? What happened? Where did they come from? So
• 20:10
  Speaker 5: it's more like a psychological thing as well that goes
• 20:15
  Speaker 5: into it.
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: That's interesting. I'm on Clubhouse a lot. Have you been
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: on Clubhouse ever? Yes. Okay. So you've seen the diaspora
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: wars on Clubhouse essentially between Africans and Black American people.
• 20:32
  Speaker 5: And I think it's sad because it's funny enough, my
• 20:34
  Speaker 5: best friends for over 10 years are African American. I
• 20:37
  Speaker 5: go to their family reunions. They come to my Nigerian events.
• 20:40
  Speaker 5: We don't even care. So when I see stuff like that,
• 20:42
  Speaker 5: it kind of breaks my heart because we're stronger together
• 20:45
  Speaker 5: than divided. And just because we, I guess, different areas,
• 20:51
  Speaker 5: I guess we come from different areas, doesn't necessarily mean
• 20:53
  Speaker 5: we're different. Culturally, yes, maybe. But if we just come together,
• 20:57
  Speaker 5: look at Black women are killing it out here.
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: Across the diaspora.
• 21:02
  Speaker 5: Across the diaspora. You know what I mean? So what
• 21:05
  Speaker 5: better way to not keep us powerful than to just
• 21:08
  Speaker 5: break us up instead of us coming together? So I
• 21:11
  Speaker 5: don't really be paying attention to stuff like that because
• 21:13
  Speaker 5: I feel like there's a lot of ignorance that comes
• 21:16
  Speaker 5: with that and a lot of self-hate from both parties. So, yeah.
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: So, all right.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: You say you only date Black men. And I think
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: that's a lot for a lot of Black women. Like,
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: I only date Black men. Do you date outside of
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: Black men?
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: I have earlier on before I became a Black Panther.
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: But nowadays, I'm just playing. No, yeah, my preference, number
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: one preference, white, I mean, look, black men are my
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: number one preference. Yes.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: So do you feel like with that it limits us
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: from options? Especially you in L.A.
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: Because what, L.A. population is 8% black. That's very small.
• 21:55
  Speaker 5: I mean, like, how do I explain it? Like, I
• 21:59
  Speaker 5: don't think so because... they gonna find me. Okay. Like they,
• 22:04
  Speaker 5: they gonna find me. The only problem with it with
• 22:07
  Speaker 5: me is the way I talk. I noticed, um, I
• 22:10
  Speaker 5: don't know if you guys can hear it, hear me.
• 22:12
  Speaker 5: I sound very Valley I've been told. So that's what
• 22:15
  Speaker 5: stumps me a lot from talking to black men in
• 22:18
  Speaker 5: LA because they automatically assume I only date white men.
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: Really?
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: Interesting.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: So when you meet a black guy, they, they assume
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: that you only like black men versus, I mean, white
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: men versus black men. And that's a thing that makes
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: you unattractive to them?
• 22:32
  Speaker 5: No, I mean, they just, they don't, they wouldn't pursue me. Like,
• 22:36
  Speaker 5: I remember I went to Target one time and this
• 22:38
  Speaker 5: one dude just came up to me like, you're beautiful, whatever.
• 22:41
  Speaker 5: And then I started speaking. He was like, you look
• 22:42
  Speaker 5: like the type that only dates white men. You sound
• 22:44
  Speaker 5: like the type that only dates white men.
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: That's ignorant.
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: Sound like. That's so ignorant.
• 22:49
  Speaker 5: I was like, oh.
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: That's, Yeah, that's definitely ignorance within our own thing because
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: of how someone talks. So you automatically associate that with smart.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: So is that a me problem, sir, or a you problem?
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: If I sound white, it's what he was trying to
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: tell you, right? That's the thing we use in the
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: Black community. You sound white.
• 23:16
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, I got that, like I said, all
• 23:18
  Speaker 5: my life growing up.
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: You really don't sound white to me, though. Like, you
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: sound like you're from L.A.
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: Me neither.
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: And a black woman. Like, black women have, like, this tone.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying? Like, it's just, like, you
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: know it's a black woman, okay? So I don't know
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: what he's talking about.
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that is a good question.
• 23:40
  Speaker 4: You're funny.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: So, all right.
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: I was watching this video earlier just trying to get
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: some information on, like, L.A. and, you know, to have
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: some questions for you. And there was this Black woman
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: saying that L.A. has a very self-centered culture, and that's
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: why it's hard for Black women there.
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: Would you agree with that perspective?
• 24:01
  Speaker 5: When you say self-centered, like, do you mean, like, everybody
• 24:05
  Speaker 5: feels like they're it or something? Like, everybody feels like
• 24:08
  Speaker 5: they're a superstar type thing?
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and everybody's very self-absorbed, and it's hard to... meet
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: anybody that's just really interested in anyone else because they're
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: so self-absorbed. Like, she was saying that, like, nobody says
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: good morning and nobody says, oh, you look nice. It's
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: just kind of everybody's all in tune with themselves and
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: waiting on someone else to be the initiator.
• 24:30
  Speaker 5: So I would say men out, I've been complaining with
• 24:33
  Speaker 5: my home girls about this. Men out here, how do
• 24:36
  Speaker 5: I say this, like, so nicely?
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: Girl out there, just do it.
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: Y'all have to be nice on this show.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: We come back, okay?
• 24:44
  Speaker 5: The men in L.A., I have never, like, I could
• 24:47
  Speaker 5: never in my mind, like, even think, like, I would
• 24:50
  Speaker 5: be going through some of the stuff I went through
• 24:52
  Speaker 5: with some of these men out here. They want to
• 24:54
  Speaker 5: be the passenger princess. They want you to, like, if
• 24:57
  Speaker 5: you ask a man, like, why don't you get me
• 24:58
  Speaker 5: flowers in L.A.? They'll be like, why don't you get
• 25:00
  Speaker 5: me flowers? Or, like, you can go on a date
• 25:03
  Speaker 5: in L.A., and they will make you pay half the meal.
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: On for the date.
• 25:09
  Speaker 5: So dating in LA is such a struggle because a
• 25:11
  Speaker 5: lot of, I don't know what it is.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: Is it because it's so expensive, maybe?
• 25:16
  Speaker 5: No, they're just, I don't know. Like, they just don't
• 25:19
  Speaker 5: feel like they need to put in the effort. And
• 25:21
  Speaker 5: I think another problem is a lot of females nowadays,
• 25:24
  Speaker 5: like us, like a lot of women, we enable that
• 25:27
  Speaker 5: behavior sometimes. Mm-hmm. So they think it's okay. So like,
• 25:30
  Speaker 5: they'll do it with the first girl and then they'll
• 25:32
  Speaker 5: come to somebody like me and then it's inflation.
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: It's war.
• 25:36
  Speaker 5: It's war. It's just like, I'm not about to deal
• 25:38
  Speaker 5: with that, you know? So they just, I don't know
• 25:41
  Speaker 5: if it's, it's not because of money. It's, I guess
• 25:44
  Speaker 5: it's a self-absorbed. They feel like, you know, I look good.
• 25:47
  Speaker 5: I'm the prize. You got to chase me too. I'm
• 25:49
  Speaker 5: not just going to put in the effort. So I'm
• 25:50
  Speaker 5: not going, I'm not going to do the most for you.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: So, yeah.
• 25:54
  Speaker 5: And I, like I said, we enabled, not us, but
• 25:56
  Speaker 5: like some women enabled the behavior. Maybe because of self-esteem.
• 26:00
  Speaker 5: Maybe because of insecurities.
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 26:02
  Speaker 5: But, like, I'm just not with it. So, I agree
• 26:07
  Speaker 5: with that, what she said.
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: So, is L.A. like the home of the bad nigga bitches? Like,
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: what the fuck is happening in L.A.? All I.
• 26:15
  Speaker 5: Know is I don't, I personally find it very difficult
• 26:19
  Speaker 5: to date in L.A. And I said I will not
• 26:21
  Speaker 5: be dating in L.A. anymore. I will only be doing
• 26:24
  Speaker 5: long distance. Yeah.
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: Is that bad?
• 26:26
  Speaker 5: It is that bad. I have left. I'm done with L.A.
• 26:30
  Speaker 5: And I'm only 25.
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: So are black men in LA attracted to black women?
• 26:36
  Speaker 5: I want to say 50, 50. Right. And I, I also, like, it's,
• 26:41
  Speaker 5: it's hard because, you know, growing up in LA, you
• 26:44
  Speaker 5: see a lot of mixed race women and you see
• 26:46
  Speaker 5: a lot of white women, you know, and then of
• 26:48
  Speaker 5: course there's black women. And typically when you see a
• 26:51
  Speaker 5: black man, you see them in the arms of a
• 26:53
  Speaker 5: white woman or a mixed race girl. So like, Some
• 26:57
  Speaker 5: of them swear they love Black women, but they don't
• 26:59
  Speaker 5: date us. And you see that play out a lot
• 27:03
  Speaker 5: in L.A. Like, yeah, I love Black women. I'm pro-Black,
• 27:06
  Speaker 5: this and that, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But then
• 27:09
  Speaker 5: their girlfriends or track records are all white or mixed-race women. So, like,
• 27:13
  Speaker 5: to me, it's like, I don't know. Like, do you
• 27:15
  Speaker 5: really love us or do you love saying you love
• 27:17
  Speaker 5: us for attention? You know what I mean? Or do
• 27:20
  Speaker 5: you love that we stand by you? Do you love
• 27:22
  Speaker 5: that we will take care of you? Because Black women,
• 27:25
  Speaker 5: we're very nurturing. Mm-hmm. And when we are in love
• 27:27
  Speaker 5: or when we care, we tend to hold our own down. And, like,
• 27:32
  Speaker 5: we ride, you know? So, like, do you love the
• 27:34
  Speaker 5: fact that you know that you would, if you're with us,
• 27:37
  Speaker 5: that you will have a home and that you can
• 27:39
  Speaker 5: go do something else, you know?
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: Or do you love your mom and sisters who are
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: actually Black because your ass is Black and they look
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: like you? And those are the Black women you love,
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: but when it comes to dating, you don't like women
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: who are aesthetically Black? You know, because a mixed-race woman would, Say,
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: I'm Black, you know? And she might be culturally Black, too.
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: But aesthetically, with, like, featurism, perhaps, more than not liking
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: Black women.
• 28:08
  Speaker 5: For me, personally, though, I do date Africans. I, like, more.
• 28:12
  Speaker 5: I don't do it on purpose. Subconsciously, I don't know why. Well, no,
• 28:16
  Speaker 5: I do. I'm Nigerian. So, like, subconsciously, I go towards, like,
• 28:19
  Speaker 5: Nigerian men or African men. And it's because, again, Nigerian
• 28:24
  Speaker 5: African men, they... the way we are raised is the
• 28:27
  Speaker 5: men are the providers, period, right? So, like, going out
• 28:31
  Speaker 5: on dates with them or just even planning a future,
• 28:34
  Speaker 5: it's like, I know, like, I'll be cool. Like, I
• 28:36
  Speaker 5: don't have to think about or be worried about, do
• 28:38
  Speaker 5: I have to pull out a wallet right now?
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 28:41
  Speaker 5: And we, they, you know, dating an African man, they
• 28:44
  Speaker 5: love Black women because we, you know, we love our people.
• 28:47
  Speaker 5: And it's hard because, you know, growing up in LA,
• 28:50
  Speaker 5: there's obviously, like, African Americans, there's Africans, there's whatever. I
• 28:53
  Speaker 5: got bullied more growing up by, African-American boys and girls
• 28:58
  Speaker 5: than I did from white people, you know? Do they
• 29:02
  Speaker 5: love black women? I don't know, 50-50, but they don't,
• 29:06
  Speaker 5: it's very, they don't show it.
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: It's an insecurity within themselves because imagine you going through
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: life intentionally trying to recreate something that doesn't look like
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: you or trying to create something that doesn't look like you.
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: So the only way they can do that is not
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: to be with a black woman. This makes me think about, um,
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: Y'all remember when Sweetie and Too Short, now Too Short
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: is 55 years old. Too Short is from California, he's
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: from the Bay Area. Sweetie is what, 28? So he
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: was having a conversation with Sweetie saying, you know, mixed heritage.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: He's always, it's always been his favorite. That's usually who
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: he went with, right? He's never been with just a
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: black woman. And he was saying shit like two ugly
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: people could come together and make a beautiful baby. So
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: in his mind, like it has to be someone outside
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: of the black community to be a pretty person.
• 29:59
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: So that's a problem with him. It has nothing to
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: do with black women. And he essentially essentially said like
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: the bait did that to him. So his preference is
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: based on where he lives geographically, essentially. And too short
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: is not fine. Let's be clear. One of the ugly
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: people he's talking about is himself. So in order for
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: him not to recreate another one of two shorts, like
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: he had to get a woman outside the black community
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: in his mind.
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: That starts a conversation about colorism and featurism. And I
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: feel like out in L.A.
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: Your proximity to whiteness is what makes you more beautiful,
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: it seems like. Or your proximity to whiteness with a
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: hint of black features, like the full lips and the
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: full eyes.
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: Because I saw a lot of botched.
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: Videos on some white women, brown women. They love nigga shit,
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: but they don't like niggas. is what I see.
• 30:57
  Speaker 5: I mean, like growing up in LA, right? Like I said,
• 31:00
  Speaker 5: majority of what you see is white and mixed. It's
• 31:03
  Speaker 5: crazy because I never thought I was ugly growing up,
• 31:05
  Speaker 5: but I did feel out of place. I felt like
• 31:10
  Speaker 5: if I didn't have curly hair or if I wasn't
• 31:13
  Speaker 5: damn near passing, I wouldn't get any attention, which is
• 31:16
  Speaker 5: true because in college, I know in high school, middle school,
• 31:19
  Speaker 5: I wasn't, nobody liked me. Like nobody liked me. The
• 31:24
  Speaker 5: black guys would make fun of me. I was told
• 31:26
  Speaker 5: my lips look like pillow clouds or whatever.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: And now, like, people get lips. Right.
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: Now people are buying you.
• 31:34
  Speaker 5: And, like, what I do love about this generation is
• 31:37
  Speaker 5: that we're moving kind of away from that a little bit,
• 31:39
  Speaker 5: and we're now, like, embracing how beautiful black is, you know?
• 31:44
  Speaker 5: And I really, really love that. And, like, it makes
• 31:45
  Speaker 5: me excited to have children in the future where I
• 31:47
  Speaker 5: know that I can bring them into a society where
• 31:49
  Speaker 5: I don't have to have that talk with my daughter, like,
• 31:52
  Speaker 5: You know what? These kids might make fun of you
• 31:54
  Speaker 5: for this because of your hair not being as curly
• 31:57
  Speaker 5: like theirs or straight as theirs.
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 32:00
  Speaker 5: But growing up, it was rough. Like, I played soccer.
• 32:04
  Speaker 5: You know, I was the black girl on the team.
• 32:06
  Speaker 5: And I remember one time in a soccer game, somebody
• 32:08
  Speaker 5: was like, get the Negro. What? And I'm not joking.
• 32:13
  Speaker 5: And my heart dropped. Like, I don't know. Like, I
• 32:17
  Speaker 5: just remember everything just went slow motion for me. And
• 32:19
  Speaker 5: my dad had to pick me up, get me from
• 32:21
  Speaker 5: the field. Like my dad was like, we have to
• 32:23
  Speaker 5: go home. And I just completely stopped. And I was
• 32:27
  Speaker 5: only black girl on the team, you know, black girl
• 32:28
  Speaker 5: playing soccer, this and that. And all I see are
• 32:31
  Speaker 5: white faces around me. And like, or I never saw
• 32:34
  Speaker 5: color like that in a sense, like I was just
• 32:36
  Speaker 5: playing soccer. I'm just playing games with my friends. But
• 32:38
  Speaker 5: that moment I realized I am not one of that.
• 32:43
  Speaker 5: Like they not see me as an equal part at all.
• 32:45
  Speaker 5: They see me as a black girl playing soccer with them.
• 32:48
  Speaker 5: And that is it. I am not an ally or whatever, but,
• 32:52
  Speaker 5: I'm just a black girl running on the field.
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: How old were you?
• 32:54
  Speaker 5: I was, I'm going to say 12, 11, 12 was
• 32:58
  Speaker 5: like the first time I experienced like real life racism,
• 33:04
  Speaker 5: like get the Negro. Oh my God. Like my whole
• 33:10
  Speaker 5: body just went Negro and tears just started coming out.
• 33:15
  Speaker 5: And my dad, like I said, came on that field.
• 33:17
  Speaker 5: My dad is like a six something African man, straight
• 33:19
  Speaker 5: Nigerian from Nigeria. Yeah. Accent and all. Came, picked me up,
• 33:23
  Speaker 5: was like, we're going home.
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: Like, you didn't get to fight?
• 33:25
  Speaker 3: Did you continue to play?
• 33:27
  Speaker 5: I continued to play with that, like, soccer in general. Yeah,
• 33:30
  Speaker 5: I loved soccer. That was one of my passions. I
• 33:33
  Speaker 5: didn't let it stop me. It actually fueled me. Because
• 33:36
  Speaker 5: I was like, okay, like, I'm going to be the
• 33:38
  Speaker 5: best at this point. Like, this is what it is.
• 33:40
  Speaker 5: I'm going to run all of y'all over, which is
• 33:42
  Speaker 5: what I did.
• 33:43
  Speaker 3: This Negro going to whoop y'all ass out here.
• 33:46
  Speaker 5: That's what I did. Like, I practiced hard. My dad
• 33:49
  Speaker 5: would take me to extra trainings, traveling. And I was
• 33:52
  Speaker 5: like one of the best players. And it was like,
• 33:53
  Speaker 5: that was the moment when I was like, yeah, you
• 33:56
  Speaker 5: just see me as another black girl. So I'm gonna
• 33:57
  Speaker 5: have to work at twice as hard.
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: So that's, that's the white kids. So the, the black
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: people who teased you, right. Were they, and I'm just
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: trying to get someplace right quick. Were they light skin
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: or dark skin? Like where was it? The dark skin
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: guys that would tease you? Yeah.
• 34:14
  Speaker 5: Okay.
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: So I have a friend, right? My friend is very,
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: very light skin. And she gets a lot of like,
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: a lot of hate online from brown skin, dark skin women.
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: I mean, just, and she has two black parents, but
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: she's very fair. Her father was really light. Her dad
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: and her mom is dark skin Jamaican.
• 34:35
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: So anytime somebody has a problem with her, the first
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: thing they're saying is, bitch, you ain't even black. Bitch,
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: you just dead. And she said, you know, and she's
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: older than us, right? She's in her fifties. She was like,
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: you know, I don't remember this being a thing when
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: light skin niggas was in style.
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: You don't remember when light-skinned niggas was in style?
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: She doesn't remember colorism being a thing when light-skinned niggas
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: was in style. It wasn't until everybody was, you know,
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: I want tall, dark, and handsome. Everybody's picking them now.
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: And they're like the, you know, I guess, top of
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: the totem pole. Everybody wants a black man. You know
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: what I'm saying? Light-skinned men catch hate and heat all
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: the time. So is it because, like, Dark-skinned men are
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: now like the it. Why black women are experiencing colorism.
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: Because light-skinned men like everybody. I attract light-skinned men.
• 35:34
  Speaker 5: I've always liked dark-skinned men.
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's our preference. We like brown, dark-skinned men.
• 35:39
  Speaker 5: I always said if you're at least my color and darker,
• 35:42
  Speaker 5: good to go. Like, we are good to go. You
• 35:44
  Speaker 5: know what I mean? I don't know. Because, like I said,
• 35:47
  Speaker 5: growing up, I wouldn't say it's mostly dark-skinned. I think
• 35:49
  Speaker 5: it was a mixture. But it was predominantly dark-skinned. with them,
• 35:54
  Speaker 5: I mean, Black men were always it for me, though. Like,
• 35:56
  Speaker 5: I just felt like they were always popping for every woman.
• 35:59
  Speaker 5: I never remember a time when Black men were not, like.
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: Well, that's because you only 25.
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: There was a time when light-skinned Ricky was the shit.
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: Ricky Fontaine, what they call him.
• 36:13
  Speaker 5: Black men growing up, like, all the girls would, like,
• 36:15
  Speaker 5: googly-eyed over the Black guys, and the Black guys would,
• 36:18
  Speaker 5: you know, look the other way towards me. They're like,
• 36:20
  Speaker 5: get out of my face. I don't want you. I
• 36:22
  Speaker 5: want the Latinas. I want the white girls. So I
• 36:26
  Speaker 5: don't know.
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: And it's because probably because they got teased for being dark.
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: So now, and then it's just kind of weird because
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: dark skin people will go out their way to create
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: light skin people. They create the light skin people that
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: they hate. So this is like the other side of colorism.
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: You see what I'm saying?
• 36:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 36:45
  Speaker 5: I've never seen, I never saw it like that. That's wow.
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: Who created light-skinned people?
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: White people.
• 36:50
  Speaker 5: But, I mean.
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: We perpetuate it in our community.
• 36:53
  Speaker 5: But, like, you know, in Africa, everybody comes in different colors.
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: Right. I don't know why hair is the thing.
• 36:59
  Speaker 5: Like, especially... So, like, we're going to take it to
• 37:01
  Speaker 5: Nigeria real quick, right? Igbo people, right? The Igbo people,
• 37:04
  Speaker 5: a lot of them are light-skinned naturally. Like, very light-skinned. So,
• 37:10
  Speaker 5: I don't know. I can't necessarily say white people created....
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: It might have started with them, like with the house Negro,
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: the field Negro, this, that, and the third, right? But
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: within the black community, we definitely continue pushing it. The
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: colorism and racism within our own race amongst each other. Yeah,
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: we do that.
• 37:33
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: We give things hierarchy, like the light-skinned girl, like even,
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: so with Sweetie and Too Short. So, Sweetie, I watched
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: a video one day, and Sweetie, she looked so uncomfortable.
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: with him saying these things, but how else do you
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: elevate her without knocking these people down is what he
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: was doing. So you're knocking down the regular black woman,
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: the brown skin woman, and we're beautiful. You know what
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: I'm saying?
• 37:56
  Speaker 3: Just even saying the regular black woman. She's not regular.
• 38:00
  Speaker 3: She's a black woman. That doesn't make it, you know?
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: It's like knocking down the regular black woman.
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: Well, she's mixed. Is she regular? Sweetie is like Korean
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: or something and black. She's not completely black. So what
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: I'm talking about is just a black woman who identifies
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: as a black woman who has two black parents, not mixed,
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: when I say a regular black woman. So I'm not
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: calling black women regular by any means. But she was clearly,
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: because she identifies as a black woman. Sweetie identifies as
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: a black woman. And again, I always say this, black
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: to me is not a race, is not a color.
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: It is literally a culture.
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: A culture.
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: Okay? You can identify with the black culture. But we
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: have had all these different definitions assigned to us in
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: black America. Which is why I love the fact that
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: you actually studied this in school, which a lot of
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: people probably should so they can have a better understanding
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: of what's going on in this hair ecosystem. Because it
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: is different. It's different in Africa. It's different here. Even
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: though we're the same people, there are people in Africa
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: who may not consider themselves black. They identify with whatever
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: tribe they come from. You know?
• 39:07
  Speaker 5: So.
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: Would they consider themselves Black, though? Like, I'm not Black,
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: I'm Igbo. No, you'd be like, I'm still Black. I'm
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: just Igbo and Black.
• 39:18
  Speaker 5: I mean, I think it depends who you're talking to. Like,
• 39:22
  Speaker 5: I'm Yoruba and Igbo. So, like, but out, like when
• 39:26
  Speaker 5: I'm in, like when I'm, you know, in LA, I
• 39:29
  Speaker 5: just say I'm a black girl, unless you ask me
• 39:31
  Speaker 5: like what I like.
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: Cause you're in America. Yeah. If you're in Africa, would
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: that be the same thing though? If you were back home?
• 39:40
  Speaker 5: I mean, we just, I don't, I don't, I don't know.
• 39:42
  Speaker 5: Cause I guess we're all black. So we're just kind
• 39:43
  Speaker 5: of like, you know, where are you from? I'm Yoruba.
• 39:46
  Speaker 5: What are you? I'm Igbo. So we just kind of,
• 39:47
  Speaker 5: I think it's, go by tribes, I guess. I've never
• 39:51
  Speaker 5: actually heard anybody in Nigeria be like, I'm a black girl.
• 39:53
  Speaker 5: They just be like, I'm an Igbo girl. I'm a Yoruba.
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: Because most people are black, so it's like, it wouldn't
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: be a determining factor.
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: I wish we could get away from saying black and
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: African American. I really wish we could get away from that,
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: but we don't have a tribe. A lot of people
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: don't have a tribe to associate themselves with. We could
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: create some shit, or they're There are tribes you probably
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: can trace your lineage back to so that we can
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: get away from that, you know, from using those terms.
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: But that's what we have.
• 40:23
  Speaker 5: It's a big thing. That's what people need to go by.
• 40:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 40:30
  Speaker 5: I don't know. Y'all have a good time.
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: I definitely, I saw everybody in Ghana this past New Year's.
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: And I know Ghana, they're offering people citizenship.
• 40:43
  Speaker 5: Even outside of December, just go. Go during the summertime.
• 40:48
  Speaker 5: I want to say June. It's beautiful. Africa is fun.
• 40:51
  Speaker 5: West Africa, let me not talk about all of Africa.
• 40:54
  Speaker 5: I'm West African. I've never been to South Africa before,
• 40:56
  Speaker 5: but I know it's beautiful down there. But Nigeria is fun. Nigeria,
• 41:00
  Speaker 5: you will have a good time. Obviously, be safe, but
• 41:04
  Speaker 5: the people are welcoming. The food is good. Yeah.
• 41:08
  Speaker 3: What about that yellow fever vaccine? Can I go without
• 41:11
  Speaker 3: getting it? No.
• 41:11
  Speaker 5: So you have to get a yellow fever vaccine, but it's,
• 41:13
  Speaker 5: I don't, me personally, I don't think it's a big
• 41:15
  Speaker 5: deal because I've had it since I was a kid.
• 41:17
  Speaker 5: You know what I mean? But I think it's to
• 41:19
  Speaker 5: protect you because like, you have to also remember we're
• 41:22
  Speaker 5: going to a new continent, right? So like when I got,
• 41:26
  Speaker 5: I had COVID when I got into Nigeria one time,
• 41:29
  Speaker 5: COVID mixed with malaria. It's not a game. It is
• 41:33
  Speaker 5: not a game. Like, because it's, it's, I don't know
• 41:36
  Speaker 5: how to explain it. It's, we also don't have the
• 41:39
  Speaker 5: same medical assistance as in America in Nigeria. So when
• 41:43
  Speaker 5: you get sick, like you're really like, it is, it's
• 41:46
  Speaker 5: just not a game. Get the vaccine. That's what I'm
• 41:47
  Speaker 5: going to say. I, it was, yeah, that was terrible.
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: I'll get the paperwork. Let's be clear. I know a guy.
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: Cause that was my fear about traveling. Damn. I'm never
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: going to make it to Africa. Now, if I got
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: to get all these vaccines, like I'm not for it. Yeah.
• 42:06
  Speaker 3: Me neither.
• 42:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 42:08
  Speaker 3: But, you know, I'm not totally, like, I'm against some vaccines, like,
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: new-ass vaccines that haven't been tested for a long time.
• 42:15
  Speaker 3: I'm against those.
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: But, like, the yellow fever vaccine has been around for
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: a while, right? But because I have MS, I don't
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: think yellow fever vaccine is good for me, you know?
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: I'm not sure.
• 42:27
  Speaker 5: Maybe you can talk to somebody about it. But I've
• 42:30
  Speaker 5: gotten it. My brothers have gotten it. Everybody I know
• 42:32
  Speaker 5: that goes back home gets it. So nothing's ever happened.
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to go out there and see what the
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: men talking about because I know they like big booties
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: out there.
• 42:40
  Speaker 5: Yeah, they like thick women. Nigerian men are beautiful.
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we're going to have to import one from someplace
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: because the black men in America do not. I won't
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: say they don't. Okay, let's stop generalizing a little bit.
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: But when we speak about these things, they act like
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: it doesn't exist. I was watching a post on your page, Effie,
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: and I saw a guy commented and was like, that's cap.
• 43:05
  Speaker 2: And her POV was, you're a Black woman trying to
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: date in LA, and a Black man is basically dismissing
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: that as not true. And that's our experience.
• 43:16
  Speaker 5: To me, reading comments like that sometimes, I don't know
• 43:18
  Speaker 5: how you're going to dismiss my experience as a Black woman.
• 43:21
  Speaker 5: When you're a Black man, what are you talking about?
• 43:24
  Speaker 5: You're not experiencing what I have to go through. You're
• 43:26
  Speaker 5: part of the problem. What do you mean? If you're
• 43:28
  Speaker 5: not acknowledging the issues we're bringing forward, then you're not helping.
• 43:32
  Speaker 5: You're not a solution. You're part of the problem because
• 43:34
  Speaker 5: you're not trying to You're not trying to learn. You're
• 43:36
  Speaker 5: not trying to do better. You're just trying to fight.
• 43:38
  Speaker 5: You're being defensive. You know what I mean? So that's
• 43:41
  Speaker 5: my experience dating in LA. Like, it's kind of just like,
• 43:44
  Speaker 5: it's like you have to tiptoe. Kind of like, hey,
• 43:47
  Speaker 5: do you like black girls?
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: I said that on the episode. I said, I think
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: black women are the only group of women. When we
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: see an attractive man, like somebody we would date, because
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: we always, you know, fantasizing in our minds when we
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: see somebody. Like, what's your damn date of birth? I
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: need all that shit, right? But we're the only group
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: of women that have to say, damn, I wonder if
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: he likes women. Damn, I wonder if he likes black women.
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: Like we actually have to have like run down those
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: internal questions when we see a guy that's attractive. I
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: don't think any group of women have to do, like
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: white women don't have to say, damn, I wonder if
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: he likes white women.
• 44:23
  Speaker 3: Well, they might.
• 44:24
  Speaker 5: No.
• 44:24
  Speaker 3: You don't think so?
• 44:25
  Speaker 2: Because their men are not marrying outside of their, you know,
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: outside of the race.
• 44:31
  Speaker 3: Oh, you're talking about with other white men. Yeah.
• 44:34
  Speaker 5: Okay.
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: They're men, you know, black men, they're at the top
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: with marrying outside of their community. They are. So it's, it's,
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: it's black men and white women. And then this is
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: a statistic I read. And so it said like the
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: marriages that actually last the longest are black women and
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: Asian men. What should I think about that? Really?
• 45:00
  Speaker 5: I don't know. That's shocking. I didn't know that.
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: So Asian men are the least sought after, while Black
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: men are at the top.
• 45:10
  Speaker 3: And Black women are the least sought after.
• 45:12
  Speaker 5: I feel like it's changing, though. I really, genuinely feel
• 45:15
  Speaker 5: like it's changing. I don't know what it is. I
• 45:20
  Speaker 5: just feel like now people are starting to really see
• 45:22
  Speaker 5: the beauty in us, which is sad that it's taken
• 45:24
  Speaker 5: so long. And there's still growth. I'm not saying... We
• 45:28
  Speaker 5: are the most sought after. Like we are the most,
• 45:29
  Speaker 5: like people see us as the most amazing, which they should.
• 45:32
  Speaker 5: But I do think a change has happened. There has
• 45:34
  Speaker 5: been a shift because I'm going online and I'm seeing
• 45:38
  Speaker 5: so many people talking, like dating black women, wanting black women,
• 45:41
  Speaker 5: craving us. I don't know if it's a fetish. I
• 45:43
  Speaker 5: don't know.
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: Even amongst our own men, you think it's a fetish?
• 45:47
  Speaker 5: I mean, no, I don't, I don't, I don't know.
• 45:51
  Speaker 3: No, can you fetish? In LA, I feel like, I
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: don't feel unattractive in LA. I feel fat. In Charlotte,
• 45:59
  Speaker 3: I'm thick. In LA, I'm the fat girl. Why are
• 46:02
  Speaker 3: you eating like that?
• 46:03
  Speaker 5: When I saw her, I was like, this, this, you
• 46:06
  Speaker 5: know what it's like, that girl, like that girl, when
• 46:08
  Speaker 5: she walked in, I was like, oh no, no, she's it.
• 46:11
  Speaker 3: I don't know what I'm talking about.
• 46:15
  Speaker 5: To toe, like just bump.
• 46:19
  Speaker 3: Thank you, friend. But see, it's women. We look at
• 46:22
  Speaker 3: each other like that. How are the men seeing us?
• 46:24
  Speaker 5: I feel like they're starting to, like, I feel like
• 46:26
  Speaker 5: there's men that really do appreciate us. Like, I will not,
• 46:29
  Speaker 5: I can't say, like, a lot of black men are,
• 46:32
  Speaker 5: that's why I said it was like 50-50, right? Like,
• 46:34
  Speaker 5: there's some that, you know, that are just like, ew,
• 46:36
  Speaker 5: black women, whatever. But there's some that will genuinely appreciate
• 46:39
  Speaker 5: a beautiful black woman. But, of course, it's like finding,
• 46:42
  Speaker 5: it's like a needle in a haystack. Is that what
• 46:43
  Speaker 5: it is?
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: Didn't you have somebody say something real disparaging about you, Tammy,
• 46:47
  Speaker 2: recently from another podcast? who's actually on this network kind
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: of in partnership.
• 46:52
  Speaker 3: Cassie, yeah. So, it's this guy. And I thought he
• 46:57
  Speaker 3: was taking some interest in me, obviously. And he says
• 47:02
  Speaker 3: he's not interested in dating unless the woman looks like Cassie.
• 47:06
  Speaker 3: And I was so offended by that.
• 47:07
  Speaker 5: It's delusional. When people say stuff like that, like, I
• 47:10
  Speaker 5: just want them to, like, you know, I want to
• 47:12
  Speaker 5: pop that little delusional bubble and, like, bring them back
• 47:14
  Speaker 5: to reality.
• 47:14
  Speaker 2: Because it'd be the most basic-faced looking nigga that says it.
• 47:17
  Speaker 5: Yeah, look, who says a girl like that wants you?
• 47:19
  Speaker 5: Who says, like, how do we know? Like, what if
• 47:21
  Speaker 5: she don't want you? Then what happens? Exactly.
• 47:24
  Speaker 2: I don't think men consider that. They think if they
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: like you, you automatically like them, as if women don't
• 47:29
  Speaker 2: have the right to have preference.
• 47:32
  Speaker 5: It's delusional.
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: Yes. But we're the ones that need to bring it
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: down a notch. Really, men are way more shallow than women.
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: And people argue with me about that shit all the time,
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: but you're not going to catch a fine-ass dude with
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: an ugly woman. I mean, I know women date men
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: for different things, different reasons. But you can always catch
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: a fine-ass woman with a nigga who's challenged in the
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: face because that money.
• 47:58
  Speaker 3: Whatever else.
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: No, I know, like, there's this girl, and she was
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: a very nice person. But she was aesthetically challenged.
• 48:09
  Speaker 3: That's what I'll say. And she had this fine-ass man.
• 48:13
  Speaker 3: I'm talking about he was gorgeous. And I was like,
• 48:15
  Speaker 3: that's some boy friend? I mean, she had zits popping
• 48:19
  Speaker 3: on her face while you talking kind of girl.
• 48:20
  Speaker 5: Like, oh, you might want to wipe that.
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: I'd be going for personality.
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: No, I found out what it was. Because she has
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: a dope personality, but she was tricking. She was big
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: tricking on them. She was big tricking.
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: Y'all remember that this went viral on social media. And
• 48:38
  Speaker 2: this goes outside of the colorism discussion. But remember, it
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: was a girl.
• 48:43
  Speaker 3: She was like.
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: men date big women, like when they don't have their
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: shit together. You don't remember that podcast? It was a
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: woman saying it. It was a woman saying it.
• 48:54
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah.
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: Because the bigger women, I don't know. They may take
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: care of men. That might be a thing. Just the
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: same way why I think some black men go to
• 49:04
  Speaker 2: white women to be taken care of.
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: But no, it, It has to be a big woman
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: with low self-esteem because I know some bad ass- Listen, I.
• 49:12
  Speaker 3: Got mine took a few times.
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: I swear to God, my ex was always cheating with
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: a big bitch and like big pretty bitches. It got
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: to the point to where I be in Target. I'm
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: seeing a big light skinned pretty girl and I'm like,
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: I'm mad at her because I know my nigga a fuck. Like,
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: I'm mad. I'm holding grudges against somebody who don't even
• 49:30
  Speaker 2: know me nor my man. But because he be cheating
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: on me with these big bitches, like I'm like mad.
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: So I disagree with that lady. Cause you know, it
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: just depends on preference.
• 49:42
  Speaker 5: I feel like he's in front of the beholder. You know, I, like, I,
• 49:47
  Speaker 5: like I genuinely fall in love with people for their
• 49:49
  Speaker 5: personality and their soul. Like I, like, you know, like
• 49:53
  Speaker 5: if you are a good man and you have a
• 49:55
  Speaker 5: good heart and you are family oriented, I will give
• 49:58
  Speaker 5: you a chance.
• 50:01
  Speaker 3: But see, that's, that's women. Women be like, he grew
• 50:04
  Speaker 3: on me. You ain't never nigga say, she grew on him.
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: Women do that. Men do not do that. Now bitch
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: growing a nigga. He liked her from the first look.
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: Men definitely are more visual characters. They're more visual. Women
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: date men for different things. You know, not just looks.
• 50:27
  Speaker 2: That's not at the top of our list. But me,
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: as a woman with no children, and y'all should also
• 50:32
  Speaker 2: consider this, I had a middle school teacher tell me that,
• 50:35
  Speaker 2: you know, if you ugly, you're going to have a
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: hard time in life. He really told us that in
• 50:40
  Speaker 2: middle school. And we also know with colorism, socialism, all
• 50:45
  Speaker 2: those things, we have pretty privilege, right? Now I'm not
• 50:50
  Speaker 2: saying I need the finest man out here, right? But
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: I also don't want my children to be super aesthetically
• 51:00
  Speaker 2: challenged because I love the nigger.
• 51:04
  Speaker 5: Aesthetically challenged. You're killing me with this term. I'm sorry.
• 51:09
  Speaker 2: Somebody left a remark on the show because I said,
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: you know, I like to hang around pretty women. I
• 51:18
  Speaker 2: know y'all have been around not so cute women. They're
• 51:21
  Speaker 2: usually the ones that's the maddest when you're doing all
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: the fun shit a lot of times, you know, in
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: the group. Mm-hmm. So just to keep down on that, like, why?
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: I mean, and also, again, it's in the eye of
• 51:32
  Speaker 2: the beholder. Like, my friend can very well, I could
• 51:34
  Speaker 2: be ugly to a lot of people. My friend could
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: be ugly to people. But to me, these bitches is fine.
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: So this is what I meant by that. But we're
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: not going to act like pretty privilege doesn't exist.
• 51:44
  Speaker 3: It do. It really does.
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: I went to the courthouse with a pistol in my
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: pocket the other day, and I forgot, and I did
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: not go to jail. And I did not go to jail, y'all.
• 51:54
  Speaker 3: I did not go to jail. I was supposed to
• 51:56
  Speaker 3: be locked up.
• 51:56
  Speaker 5: It's crazy because, right?
• 51:58
  Speaker 3: That man asked me, the police asked me for my
• 52:00
  Speaker 3: phone number and told me to go back to my car. Stupid.
• 52:04
  Speaker 3: He said, take that gun back to your car, stupid.
• 52:08
  Speaker 5: I do not know pretty privilege. Growing up, I didn't
• 52:12
  Speaker 5: think I ever had pretty privilege. Like, at all. Like,
• 52:16
  Speaker 5: I've seen it work for, like, again, lighter skinned girls
• 52:19
  Speaker 5: and everything, but I never, like I said, I never
• 52:21
  Speaker 5: thought I was ugly, but I never thought I met
• 52:22
  Speaker 5: the standards of beauty out here. You know what I mean? So, Now,
• 52:27
  Speaker 5: when people hit me up and be like, you're so beautiful,
• 52:29
  Speaker 5: this and that, it's so hard for me to believe
• 52:32
  Speaker 5: it sometimes because I was never told that growing up.
• 52:36
  Speaker 5: From my parents, yes, family. But from society, I was
• 52:40
  Speaker 5: never told that. I was told, you got a big nose.
• 52:43
  Speaker 5: Your eyes are far apart. Your lips are too big.
• 52:46
  Speaker 5: You're not thin. You're thicker.
• 52:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 52:50
  Speaker 5: Pretty privilege is real, but I felt like I never
• 52:53
  Speaker 5: experienced pretty privilege living in LA until I've gotten older.
• 52:57
  Speaker 5: And I think pretty privilege also starts from within. When
• 53:00
  Speaker 5: I started believing that I was it, like I was bad,
• 53:03
  Speaker 5: that I was beautiful and I carried myself with that confidence,
• 53:05
  Speaker 5: I started seeing that other people started looking at me
• 53:09
  Speaker 5: the same way. But it's hard to develop that confidence
• 53:12
  Speaker 5: when you're around people that don't look like you and
• 53:15
  Speaker 5: are praised for looking the way they do, and you
• 53:17
  Speaker 5: are basically... look down upon for looking the way you look.
• 53:22
  Speaker 5: There's nothing you can do about it at such a
• 53:23
  Speaker 5: young age, you know? So, pretty for me, it's real,
• 53:27
  Speaker 5: but I feel like it also stems from inside. If
• 53:29
  Speaker 5: you believe that you are, like, the baddest and you
• 53:31
  Speaker 5: carry yourself with that utmost confidence and you walk into
• 53:34
  Speaker 5: the room, even if you look a mess, if you
• 53:36
  Speaker 5: believe that you are bad, people will also look at
• 53:38
  Speaker 5: you within that same realm.
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: It's the energy.
• 53:40
  Speaker 3: It's the energy.
• 53:41
  Speaker 5: It's a vibe. That's what I'm saying. It's a vibe.
• 53:43
  Speaker 5: You know?
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, confidence is your best accessory that you carry.
• 53:48
  Speaker 3: Really, it is.
• 53:48
  Speaker 5: It is.
• 53:50
  Speaker 3: Even if you're faking it. Fake it till you make it, too.
• 53:53
  Speaker 5: Make that smile till you make it. And I always
• 53:54
  Speaker 5: tell people, like, another female, like, people will not see
• 53:56
  Speaker 5: me sweat out here.
• 53:57
  Speaker 2: Like, you will not.
• 53:58
  Speaker 5: No girl can get under my skin. I'll cry in
• 53:59
  Speaker 5: my house. Listen, I'll cry in my bed. But when
• 54:02
  Speaker 5: I'm outside, you can't catch me, like, doing that because
• 54:05
  Speaker 5: people take that as weakness. And I am not a
• 54:07
  Speaker 5: weak female. Period. You know?
• 54:10
  Speaker 3: Period.
• 54:10
  Speaker 5: And you will not treat me as such.
• 54:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so that, I mean, but that attitude takes developing, right?
• 54:15
  Speaker 2: So we're talking about, like, things that happen to you
• 54:17
  Speaker 2: as a child. Like, yeah, like, That built this now,
• 54:21
  Speaker 2: this beautiful woman, this character that exudes all this bad bitchism. Okay?
• 54:29
  Speaker 2: I don't know how we fight that, though, for the
• 54:31
  Speaker 2: younger girls. I don't know.
• 54:36
  Speaker 5: We start telling them at a young age that they
• 54:39
  Speaker 5: are it. They are beautiful. We start getting them dolls
• 54:43
  Speaker 5: that look like them. That's what my father did. My
• 54:45
  Speaker 5: dad would get me black dolls. My dad is my
• 54:47
  Speaker 5: best friend. I love him to pieces. But we start
• 54:51
  Speaker 5: showing more representation. We start showing them role models. So
• 54:54
  Speaker 5: growing up, my father would always show me Condoleezza Rice.
• 54:58
  Speaker 5: And he would be like, this woman, this da-da-da, she's
• 55:00
  Speaker 5: in government. She's just, you can be like that. You
• 55:03
  Speaker 5: can be powerful, you know? And I started, you know,
• 55:06
  Speaker 5: like I'm hearing it from my father. This is somebody
• 55:08
  Speaker 5: I love dearly. This is somebody I look up to.
• 55:10
  Speaker 5: So when we start feeding it to them at a
• 55:11
  Speaker 5: young age, and even in schools, making sure they see
• 55:15
  Speaker 5: teachers that look like them. They see doctors that look
• 55:17
  Speaker 5: like them. Right. That's how we start getting the confidence up.
• 55:21
  Speaker 5: Because when you're not seeing people, like I was, for example,
• 55:24
  Speaker 5: my university, we have a 30% dropout rate by second
• 55:27
  Speaker 5: semester for African-American students. And when I asked some of
• 55:30
  Speaker 5: these people, like, why are you leaving? One was money, financial.
• 55:33
  Speaker 5: Two was like, I don't feel like I belong here. Like,
• 55:34
  Speaker 5: what's the point of me doing this? There's nobody, there's
• 55:37
  Speaker 5: no teachers that look like me. There's nobody. And I
• 55:39
  Speaker 5: was like, well, that's why you're here. So you can
• 55:42
  Speaker 5: create that for the next generation.
• 55:43
  Speaker 2: I don't know what school it was. Was it in
• 55:45
  Speaker 2: LA or was it in the Midwest? but they started
• 55:50
  Speaker 2: a Black Step group. Did y'all see that?
• 55:53
  Speaker 5: It was USC, yes, in LA.
• 55:54
  Speaker 2: So it was a lot of controversy surrounding that because
• 55:56
  Speaker 2: it's like, why don't y'all just go to an HBCU, right?
• 56:00
  Speaker 2: As opposed to bringing HBCU culture to a PWI.
• 56:05
  Speaker 5: I wanted to go to an HBCU. I did. I
• 56:07
  Speaker 5: wanted to go to Howard because my father went to Howard.
• 56:11
  Speaker 5: But then at the same time, I didn't want to
• 56:13
  Speaker 5: go to Howard because I got bullied a lot by
• 56:16
  Speaker 5: Black people. And I was just like, I was scared.
• 56:18
  Speaker 5: I was like, if I go, what if I'm not accepted?
• 56:21
  Speaker 5: And I was accepted more by, like I said, my
• 56:23
  Speaker 5: white peers. So I was just like, yo, I'm just
• 56:26
  Speaker 5: going to, I mean, if I experience racism here, it's like,
• 56:29
  Speaker 5: I can handle that.
• 56:32
  Speaker 3: I'm used to it.
• 56:33
  Speaker 5: I can't, I feel like I'm too scared to handle
• 56:36
  Speaker 5: rejection from my own people. I can't, because I wouldn't
• 56:39
  Speaker 5: even know how to fight that. Like, I would just
• 56:41
  Speaker 5: be like, how do I, I can't change myself. Like,
• 56:43
  Speaker 5: this is what it is. And it may not have
• 56:44
  Speaker 5: been like that. It may not be like that at all,
• 56:46
  Speaker 5: but I already have that instilled in my head.
• 56:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the values within the black community in America, they
• 56:52
  Speaker 2: just have to change. It's like not cool to be smart, right?
• 56:56
  Speaker 2: It's not cool to have not grown up in the hood.
• 56:58
  Speaker 2: I used to get teased. Well, nobody could ever tease
• 57:02
  Speaker 2: me because I got an hour worth of stand-up comedy
• 57:04
  Speaker 2: for anybody, and that's been since first grade. But I
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: remember being on a school bus when our bus started
• 57:10
  Speaker 2: picking up a neighborhood across the street. They would be
• 57:12
  Speaker 2: in the back of the bus like, y'all don't even
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: got no trash on y'all street. Like, what? You talking
• 57:18
  Speaker 2: shit to us because we don't have trash on our streets?
• 57:22
  Speaker 2: And you know, you can live in a hood. It
• 57:24
  Speaker 2: doesn't have to look like it, though. You can live
• 57:26
  Speaker 2: in a hood and then you still take care of
• 57:28
  Speaker 2: your community. That's what it boils down to. Who cares
• 57:31
  Speaker 2: that it's low income? It doesn't have to look like
• 57:34
  Speaker 2: low income. And that's just something that we have to
• 57:37
  Speaker 2: work on as a collective in America because we don't...
• 57:42
  Speaker 2: Black Americans don't have enough pride, I think. We don't
• 57:46
  Speaker 2: have enough pride in being Black. We say we do,
• 57:50
  Speaker 2: but we don't have enough. We say it verbal, but
• 57:52
  Speaker 2: is it actually exuded, you know, physically? Exactly.
• 57:58
  Speaker 3: And how we treat each other and how we treat
• 58:00
  Speaker 3: our communities. That's fair.
• 58:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because, you know, why does.
• 58:03
  Speaker 3: A student come from Africa.
• 58:05
  Speaker 2: And then, because I hear this, I have other friends
• 58:07
  Speaker 2: that are also African and they have the same stories, like,
• 58:11
  Speaker 2: you know, they grew up hanging out with the white
• 58:12
  Speaker 2: kids because they were teased by the black kids, you know?
• 58:16
  Speaker 2: And now as adults, we can kind of flip that
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: a little bit and say, hey, they come up with
• 58:21
  Speaker 2: all types of words for black Americans, African adults, right?
• 58:24
  Speaker 2: So now it's kind of like, it's cool to be
• 58:27
  Speaker 2: from Africa now, put your dashiki on to go watch
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: Black Panther and shit like that. But you teased kids,
• 58:34
  Speaker 2: you know, when you were younger. So, I mean, it's
• 58:36
  Speaker 2: a part of growing, just people... It's a lot of
• 58:42
  Speaker 2: self-hate shit we just have to work through.
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: And it's the things that you were taught. Because I
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: ain't going to lie, when I was a little kid,
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: I would.
• 58:51
  Speaker 2: Teach the black African kids at school. I never ever
• 58:53
  Speaker 2: did it.
• 58:54
  Speaker 3: But it would be back and forth. It wouldn't be
• 58:56
  Speaker 3: just me.
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it would be like, they talking shit too, you know?
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: And it was like different shit that I didn't understand.
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: And that's why I didn't like because I walked into
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: they were they had come they were washing their feet
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: in the sink at school and being a black American
• 59:12
  Speaker 1: I had never seen that so I was like bitch
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: get your foot out the sink but I didn't know
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: what it you know it was part of their culture
• 59:18
  Speaker 1: I don't know what why they were doing it and
• 59:20
  Speaker 1: I do remember like saying bitch get your foot out
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: the sink.
• 59:26
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry I.
• 59:27
  Speaker 3: Remember saying that but So I can understand where, why
• 59:31
  Speaker 3: someone would grow up as an African in America and
• 59:35
  Speaker 3: be like, fuck y'all.
• 59:36
  Speaker 5: It's like, I get it sometimes when like the Africans
• 59:38
  Speaker 5: are like, you know, ABC, I get it. And like,
• 59:41
  Speaker 5: cause like, you know, we've all dealt with, well, as
• 59:43
  Speaker 5: an African child, like we've all dealt with some type
• 59:45
  Speaker 5: of discrimination because we are African. But again, Africana studies
• 59:50
  Speaker 5: has opened my eyes a little bit and people be like, oh,
• 59:53
  Speaker 5: Nigerians or Africans think they're better than us. We're not,
• 59:57
  Speaker 5: we don't think we're better. We're just prideful people. Because
• 59:59
  Speaker 5: imagine coming here and then getting bullied and ridiculed by everybody.
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 3: By some random bitch talking about why your foot in
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 3: the sink.
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 5: We just have so much pride within ourselves and we
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 5: love our culture and we love ourselves so much that
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 5: you can't break us down. So we are very prideful people,
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 5: you know? And I'll tell anybody, I'm proud to be Nigerian.
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 5: I love that about myself. So when I see people say, oh, Africans,
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 5: they think they're better. It's like, no, we don't think
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 5: we're better. We are just proud. We're very prideful people
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 5: because when our parents came here and they were knocked down,
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 5: or when we go to school and we're bullied, we
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 5: can't just break. There's none of that breaking in an
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 5: African household. There's none of that. If I tell my mom,
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 5: my dad, this guy called me ugly, my dad would
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 5: look me in my face and be like, are you ugly?
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 5: And that's it. That is the end of it. There's
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 5: no going to school. There's no going to teach. There's
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 5: none of that. Like, you got to toughen up. So
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 5: I'm glad that, you know, you talked about it, like
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 5: how you used to be the one to make fun
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 5: of the Africans. Because the first step to healing is
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 5: acknowledgement and understanding. So like I said, I've been bullied.
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 5: I was president of BSU in high school. I was
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 5: impeached because I wasn't Black enough.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 2: What is Black enough?
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 3: So hold on. Yeah, because I want to hear what
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 3: did they say to improve you?
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 5: They said you're not really Black.
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 2: So you couldn't identify with what it was to be
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 2: Black American? Yes, exactly.
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 5: They're like, you don't understand us. So why should you
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 5: be the president of Black student unions? And that broke me.
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 5: Black people got to let that hate go. We got
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 5: to let that hate and that hurt go. That's all
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 5: it is. It's just a lot of hurt. But I
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 5: was never bitter. I was never bitter. I was never,
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 5: because the way my father raised me is to love everyone.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 5: My dad went to Howard University. He's a Nigerian man.
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 5: If you ever meet this man, six something, dark skin,
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 5: African man, Nigerian accent, everything. But he always told me,
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 5: he was like, I dealt with the same thing, but
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 5: we can't be angry because they just don't know. And
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 5: some people have a different perspective on that, but that's
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 5: how my father raised me and my mother. You know?
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 3: Are your parents still single?
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 5: Why are you asking?
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 2: Are you trying to get at her daddy? Look at
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 2: this bitch. Look, I'm literally over here calculating I had
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 2: an abortion at 15. This bitch could have been my child.
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 2: I could definitely fuck with her daddy. Like, I'm literally
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 2: calculating that in my mind. I'm sorry, friend.
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 3: I wasn't. Girl, I ain't trying to fuck your daddy.
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 3: I don't know what AZ is talking about.
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 5: It was an evil man who married a Yoruba woman,
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 5: brought her to LA, and gave her the house, gave
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 5: her the kids, gave her the car.
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: Yes, that's beautiful. And see, that's why you have the
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: mindset that you have. You come from a two-parent household.
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 3: I just really feel like that's so important that we grow,
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 3: we raise our children in a two-parent home.
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 2: That's another thing that's not really valued. We trying. We
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 2: trying to get there.
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 5: And that's why it's hard to do. Dating is hard.
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 5: Like it's because in my head, like the way my
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 5: father treated my mother is that's what I look for.
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 5: Like if you are not reminding me of my father,
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 5: the way the effort he put into my mom is
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 5: not going to work only because I see that that
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 5: type of love exists. I want it. I want my
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 5: kids to see mommy and daddy like in love and
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 5: a two parent household. My dad taking me to soccer practice.
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 5: I went to private school. Like I want that life
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 5: for my kids. That's what I had growing up, you know?
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 5: And it makes dating very difficult sometimes because sometimes people
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 5: don't see that, you know, they don't have that connection,
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 5: but they don't see that type of mindset that I have.
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 5: Like I'm in school for my master's, right? When I
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 5: graduated high school, my bachelor's, my mom looked at me
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 5: and was like.
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 3: Okay, so.
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 2: You graduated high school with a bachelor's?
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 5: No, no. I went, I got, I graduated high school,
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 5: then I got my bachelor's in kinesiology and now I'm.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 3: And they were like, that's basically going to elementary school.
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 5: Yeah, my mom was like, okay. And then now I'm
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 5: doing my master's. And my mom was like, okay, maybe
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 5: we'll throw you a party this time. Like, maybe. Like, maybe. But, like,
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 5: I come from.
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 3: But when you get your PhD, that's when you get
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 3: the party.
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 5: I don't think I'm doing that one. I had to
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 5: sit my parents down and break the news to them.
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 1: Because this master's... Okay, yeah, because Nigerian parents are like,
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: you need to be a doctor, an engineer, a lawyer,
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 1: or something like that.
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 5: That broke my mom's heart. Even me telling her, I mean...
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 5: Like I said, I'm talking to someone. But if I
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 5: told her, like, I wasn't going to marry a Nigerian,
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 5: she would have a heart attack. A real life heart attack.
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 1: So let's get into that. Are you dating a Nigerian now? Like,
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 1: because when we met, you was like, I'm single as fuck.
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 1: I was like, me too, girl. Let's talk about it.
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 2: A Nigerian? I am. Okay.
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 5: Yeah, he's Nigerian.
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 3: And where'd you meet?
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 5: I've known him for a long time and then we
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 5: just didn't talk for a while and then we started
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 5: talking back up and then it was just like, we
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 5: just gelled really well and it's just been working.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 3: How y'all started talking back up?
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 5: I don't really check who watches my stories like that because,
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 5: you know, there's always a lot of people that watches
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 5: my stories and then one day I was just seeing
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 5: who watched my stories and I saw his name pop up.
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 5: I was like, I haven't seen him in a while. Like,
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 5: how is he doing? Just to check up on him.
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 5: Then I went on his page and I was like, oh,
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 5: I forgot how cute he was.
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh.
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 5: I was like, is he, is he, is he single?
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 5: Cause he's, you know, he's good looking. He's tall, you know?
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 5: So I just hit him up. I was like, Hey,
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 5: you know? And then I was like, real quick question,
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 5: straight to it. Are you single? And then he told me, yeah.
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 5: And then he was.
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 2: Like, let's pick up.
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 3: Sound like you single too.
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 2: Let's get this.
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 5: And then, yeah. And just, so yeah, long story short,
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 5: I'm talking.
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 3: Well, that's good.
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 2: So are there like, is it a large community of,
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 2: africans in la because that was my question when when
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 2: tam told me.
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 4: He's not oh you said that so this guy is
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 4: not in la so okay so it would have been
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 4: impossible for you to find it's gonna it's impossible for
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 4: you to find your mate in la at this point
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 4: is what you're saying.
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 5: I just feel like my i just feel like i can't.
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 2: Where's he at i don't want to Atlanta? Oh, okay. Oh,
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 2: that's good. Listen, I went on a date with a
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 2: Nigerian man when I first moved to Atlanta years ago.
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 2: I'm literally on a date with a man. Y'all hear
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 2: that part, right? A man invited me out, planned a place.
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 2: I'm literally on a date with a man that says,
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 2: Atlanta is no place to find a mate. That's what
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 2: he told me. On a date. So I'm like, why
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 2: the fuck are we out?
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 3: So the man you were actually on a date with said- Exactly. Uh-uh,
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 3: get somebody else.
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 2: To do it. You hollered at me in the club.
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 2: That's how we ended up here, right? And you're telling me,
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 2: and we're still good friends. Like, we talk periodically, so
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 2: this is a long-ass time ago, but we still, but
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 2: he's still not married, still have no kids. You know what?
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 3: I really feel like that. Like, when I meet a
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 3: man and I'm like, where you from?
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 2: They be like, Atlanta. That's why I asked where he
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 2: was from, just to make sure he wasn't in Atlanta.
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 3: So, Houston, you might do well.
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 2: You might do well.
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 5: You know, I mean, Like I said, he's Nigerian. He'll
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 5: be the first Nigerian guy, actually.
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 2: You might move to... I want you to move to Houston.
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and you've been in L.A. your whole life. Time
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 3: for a change.
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that's what she said.
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 3: Take a chance, honey.
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know.
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 3: Coming to America.
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 4: I'm old.
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 2: Sorry.
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 3: To get your African friends.
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 5: I want that for you.
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 5: I want that for me, too. But, you know, see,
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 5: it's great because he's Igbo, like my dad. So, you know. People,
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 5: men be taking care of their wives.
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 3: So, all right.
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 1: Do you have any advice for women in LA trying
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 1: to meet a black man?
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 3: What would you say? What advice would you give them?
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 5: Just be ready. Don't, like, just have your confidence up.
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 5: Because it's like, you know how they say, like, if
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 5: you go to a casting call, you're going to get
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 5: a whole bunch of no's before you get a yes?
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 5: It's the same thing. Just be ready. Be ready to hear,
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 5: I don't date black women. Just be ready to hear
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 5: some nonsense. Or I think one guy said, oh, I
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 5: like your skin tone.
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 3: Where are you from?
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 5: I said, I'm Nigerian. He's like, that's why you're that color.
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 5: I'm like, sir, what are you talking about? What are
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 5: you even talking about? So just get ready for ignorant statements.
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 5: And also, don't be afraid to put your foot down
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 5: and say no if you don't accept someone to treat
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 5: you a certain way. Because they will try it. And
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 5: I mean, I'm not just saying black men will try it.
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 5: Everybody will try it. But we're going to feel it
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 5: more because it's coming from us. You know what I mean?
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 5: So I guess my advice would be like, just make
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 5: sure your confidence is up and never let your crown tilt.
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 5: Because L.A. is not for the weak, I say. It's
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 5: really not for the weak.
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 2: So insecure is a big facade, right? You used to
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 2: raise insecure. There's really like no black relationships in L.A.
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 3: Oh, okay.
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 5: No, there are. There definitely are.
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 2: They probably came together, maybe? Or they imported somebody from
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 2: someplace else?
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 5: Well, if you're like me and you don't date LA guys, maybe.
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 5: But like they're they're there they're there but like I'm
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 5: just saying majority of the time you do see a
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 5: lot more black with somebody else majority interesting.
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah well it being 8% of the population out there
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 1: it's kind of hard you're gonna almost have to date
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 1: outside of your.
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 5: Race yeah and to find somebody fine too like trust
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 5: me I've been through my fair share of like My
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 5: homegirls will tell you horror stories, you know. Oh, really?
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 3: Well, we have a segment on this show called Dumb
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 3: Bitch Stories.
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 2: Dumb Bitch Stories.
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 5: You are so dumb.
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 3: Because we've all been a dumb bitch at least once
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 3: or twice.
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 1: And it's pretty much kind of like giving your horror
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 1: story with dating, like where someone tried to play you
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 1: or a time, you know, you just wasn't treated fairly.
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 3: Can you share one of those stories with us? Hmm.
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 5: Lord Jesus, what do I want to... So, I mean,
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 5: I could tell a little story. There's one time where
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 5: I'm a very... I like to give. I like to
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 5: help people. I'm not going to go too much into
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 5: details about this because it's still embarrassing. It still burns
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 5: my soul. And like I said, I was raised in
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 5: a household where money, you give money because money comes
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 5: and goes. Like, it was never like, you know, we
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 5: were on our last dollar. You know, I didn't have
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 5: to work a lot in my life because my dad
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 5: paid for everything. So, this one dude needed help. And
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 5: I don't like to loan money because I hate asking
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 5: for my money back. It's the most uncomfortable thing for me.
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 5: So then, you know, I gave him some money. Then
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 5: he asked me again for some money. Gave him some
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 5: more money because he kept saying he needed help. And
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 5: then he just ghosted me after he, like, took my money.
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 5: And then I'm still texting, like, hey, I'm still trying
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 5: to be nice to this person. Like, I'm still trying to, hey,
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 5: are you okay? How are you doing? Is everything all good?
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 3: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. No response.
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 5: And I don't even want to talk about that amount.
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 2: Tell us how much. Your daddy ain't going to see this.
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 5: Mom, if you ever watch this. Oh, if they ever
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 5: watch this, I'm sorry, Dad. They're going to tell me
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 5: I don't appreciate money. That's what they're going to tell me.
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 5: About in total, even things like Ubers and stuff that
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 5: I've spent.
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 2: Oh, okay. That's not too bad. I thought she was
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 2: about to say.
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 5: $ 30, 000.
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 3: That's not too bad. I thought you... I thought she
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 3: was about to say.
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 2: Like, 15 grand. That is pretty bad.
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 5: Too bad. Two bands? Like, nah, bro. You need to
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 5: run that two bands back. Like, I need it back.
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 5: I don't know how I'm going to find him.
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 2: Tell him right now.
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 3: But best believe I'm going to get that money back. Girl,
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 3: this a nigga owe me $ 1, 600 right now. I can't
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 3: find that nigga, girl. Tell him right now, though.
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 5: But then he be, like, posting on Instagram and stuff.
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 5: And then I'm still trying to be nice. Like, that's
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 5: the crazy thing. Like, I'm still trying to, hey, you good?
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 5: Just checking up on you. I just feel like somebody
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 5: put mu-mu on my forehead. Mu-mu means idiot, by the way,
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 5: in my language. They just put mu-mu on my forehead,
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 5: like dummy.
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 2: Was this someone you were fucking with?
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 3: No. Were y'all sleeping together?
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 2: No.
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 5: I was trying to get to know him. I was
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 5: trying to hopefully see where it goes. And yeah, he
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 5: showed me.
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 3: He just took advantage.
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 5: Yeah, he took advantage of my niceness.
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 1: And then here comes somebody that you might really like
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 1: that might need some help, and now you don't want
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 1: to help them because you've already been burned by this person. Oh,
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 1: it's dead.
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 5: It's absolutely dead. Unless I see a paycheck coming into
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 5: your every week, it's dead. Like, don't ask me for it.
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 5: Unless you are my man, like, we are locked in.
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you probably shouldn't give people money who you've never
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 2: seen with money. You know what I'm saying?
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 5: They were acting like they had it, though. Like, that's
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 5: the thing. You know that, what's that, the Tinder swindler?
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 2: That is what they do. Yeah, I see what you're saying.
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 5: Yeah, like he made it seem like he was good.
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 5: So like when he needed help, I was like, all right,
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 5: I'll just get my money back.
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 2: Nah. Well, it took you $ 2, 000 to get rid of him.
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 2: It could have been worse. You could have gotten chlamydia.
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 3: And you got a life lesson early.
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, out with the old with my new
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 5: fine man, so it's okay.
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 2: Houston, 2023, we out. Effie.
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 3: Tell everybody where they can find you. Plug anything you
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 3: want to plug. Let us know.
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 5: So you guys can find me on Instagram at Afeti Egan,
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 5: which is E-F-E-T-I-E-G-U-N. Or you can find me on TikTok,
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 5: same name, E-F-E-T-I-E-G-U-N. And that's really it. But Instagram, that's
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 5: where I be at mostly. Yes.
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 3: Y'all, she's so beautiful. Y'all go follow her.
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 5: Thank you.
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 3: And she posts a lot of funny shit too. Let
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 3: me follow you too. You posted a video as a man. Oh, yeah, yeah.
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 3: That was a video.
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 5: I'm trying to get back into my comedic side, you know,
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 5: but I feel like my sense of humor is not
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 5: for everybody. I'm a little bit dark. I'm not going
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 5: to lie.
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 3: Just a little. Well, that's for some people, too, you know.
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 3: I like a little dark humor every.
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 5: Now and then. I just feel like if we can
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 5: laugh at ourselves, it's like, you know. Right.
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 2: All right, y'all, listen. So if you enjoyed this episode,
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 2: please tune in every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app or
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 2: wherever the fuck you get your podcast at. This is
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 2: your co-host AJ Holiday 2.0. Y'all follow me on Instagrams,
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 2: all the grams. What's up, Tam?
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 3: Y'all follow me too on Instagram, official Tam Bam. I
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 3: love y'all.
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 1: Thank y'all for tuning in. And we'll see y'all motherfuckers
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 1: next time. Remember to speak now.
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 2: And never hold your peace.