Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 2 - Episode 317 - Defining and delivering respect

Transcript

Season 2 - Episode 317 - Defining and delivering respect · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the Good Morning From the Chicken Coop Podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and mastermind set
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  coach. Filled with inspiration,
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  distinctions, perspectives, and possibilities, we help you to
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  cultivate a mindset that leads you to create the best version
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  of yourself you could ever imagine.
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  Join Kim every morning from one of her favorite happy places,
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  her chicken coop along with all her chickens.
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  Hey, everybody. Good morning from the chicken
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  coop. So today the question of the day
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  is how do you show respect to people that are in your life or
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  that you just run into during the day?
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  How do you choose to show respect?
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  This is a tricky 1 when you start to think about it, because
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  most of us don't use that word until it's violated.
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  So we know when we feel offended by the fact that we haven't had
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  some sort of respect expressed to us, but we don't necessarily
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  understand on the front side if we're delivering it regularly.
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  Like if you stop and pause right now and actually take in a
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  second and say, OK, who are the people closest to me?
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  Am I giving them respect? You'll probably.
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  Be like, hmm, I don't know. OK, let me think about that.
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  Well, I think, I am sure. I think I'm doing a good job of
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  that. But now here's where it gets
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  even more complicated. The plot thickens, so to speak.
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  Does that person believe that you respect them?
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  Does that person that's opposite you believe that you actually
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  have respect for them? And respect is a very big deal
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  among human beings because we feel like that's something
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  that's just it is something that you either have it or you don't,
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  but you actually give it to people and you actually give
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  that as a gift when you say yes, I respect this person and I
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  treat them a certain way because I respect this.
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  Now I'll tell you the reason this came up was because of my
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  son and his job and he the 2 owners of the company, he just
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  has such respect for them. He uses Mr. every time he speaks
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  to them. He calls Mr. Greg and he's just
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  he is very, very, very enamored with how they have treated him
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  and how they have just. Treated him with respect.
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  And I asked him the question. I said, you really love working
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  there. Yes.
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  And he said, Oh yeah, he's like, you know what, Mom?
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  They treat me with respect. And I was like, he goes, I'm
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  only 14, but they treat me with respect.
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  And I thought, wow, like that is such an interesting thing.
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  So I asked him, how do you know who treats you with respect?
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  And he said well because. He's so he speaks to me very
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  clearly, very nicely. He always Pats me on the back.
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  He always tells me that I'm doing a good job.
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  And he listed off this whole thing and I said to him, and all
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  that comes under the umbrella of what bud and he said.
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  Respect. So he said they like me, they
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  respect me and they they like the work I do.
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  And I thought, isn't that interesting?
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  Because most of us can't say that about other people.
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  We can't say that we are clear on how this person is delivering
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  respect to us. So even if it's our significant
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  other, our children, our children speak.
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  Nasty to us and believe me, my son is wonderful.
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  As he just sounded in that moment, he has spoken nastily to
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  me. So there are moments when you
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  could say he is disrespectful and we understand.
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  Like I said at the beginning of this, we understand what it
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  looks like on the negative side. We understand what disrespect
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  looks like. But how do you determine
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  respect? And how do you know when you're
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  delivering it to the other person And this, this falls
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  into, you know, the connection of languages and how we.
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  Side Okay, is somebody actually respecting me?
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  Do we know our rules for it? And if we don't know our rules
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  for respect, then chances are they're getting violated daily.
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  So you know it. It's it's like we want to
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  believe that we have it all nailed down and that we've got
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  this set in our head. But the truth is 9 times out of
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  10. We don't, We don't have it clear
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  in our heads. So therefore we struggle with
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  that piece of it. We really struggle trying to
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  figure out what's the best way to gain these things because we
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  feel like we know when they're violated, but we're not doing a
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  good job clearing it up with people around us and saying, you
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  know what, that felt this way. But this is how I determine
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  respect and this is a way to show it.
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  Now obviously I say this a lot on this podcast, but I will
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  reiterate it just to make sure everyone's clear on it.
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  When emotions are up, this is not the time to do this
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  exercise. So when you start to feel like
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  you're angry, irritated, pissed off, whatever you want to call
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  it, this is not the time to start examining these things.
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  You do it when your emotions are normal, when they're just even
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  keel, steady, Eddy, so to speak. You're just at that place where
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  you're not offended, you're not exuberant, you're just right in
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  the middle of the road. And then you'll start to see
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  some things. So the challenge of the day is
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  to go off and figure that piece out for yourself, not only for
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  you. How do you determine someone's
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  respecting you, but how do the people around you closest expect
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  it? So that you know how to deliver
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  it? So that you know that they are
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  being in taken care of on the subject as well, That they are
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  feeling respected? Because if they're not, that's a
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  very intrinsic part of a problem with the relationship.
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  So keep that in mind. Do some Dig Deeping.
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  Dig Deeping. Deep digging, said that one
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  backwards and get going with it because it makes all the
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  difference in the world to somebody when you are able to do
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  that, when you are able to pull yourself back around and
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  actually say, OK, I can do this, wow, it makes a huge difference
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  to how everybody feels. OK, my friends, have a blessed
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  day and I'll see you tomorrow. Bye.