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What low-cost alternatives can I suggest instead? · Wellbeing Solutions - Ask A Counsellor

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Wanting to stay connected with the people who matter to you while also keeping an eye on what you're spending, that tension is really common.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: As research suggests, UK adults spend an average of£375 a month on socialising and almost half admit they've felt resentful about it.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: So if costly social plans are causing stress, that reaction makes complete sense.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Now the good news is suggesting low-cost alternatives doesn't have to feel awkward and there are some genuinely enjoyable options that cost very little.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: To support you with this, just try placing a hand on your chest and reminding yourself that wanting to protect your finances is responsible and not selfish.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: As the discomfort around this often comes from the story we tell ourselves, and that saying no or suggesting something cheaper means we're being difficult or letting people down when most of the time that story isn't true.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Now, one of the most helpful shifts here is moving away from the idea that connection requires spending because it doesn't, and what people usually want is a time spent together.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: So when a costly plan comes up, instead of just declining, come in with an alternative ready.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: Something like I can't do that right now, but what about coming to mine instead and everyone brings something and we can make an eye of it?
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Or shall we do something in the day because you might know a good walk or we could grab a coffee somewhere.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: Now daytime plans tend to be naturally cheaper and that's actually more flexibility, as a walk, a picnic, or a free local event can be healthy here.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: These aren't second best options, they're just different, and having a couple of go-to low-cost suggestions ready in your mind makes it much easier to say no to what doesn't work while stealing yes to the relationship.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: It helps to think practically about what actually works for your budget.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: So have a look at what you can genuinely afford each month for socializing and let that number guide your choices rather than leaving it to chance.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: So if there's a group event that feels too expensive, it's worth asking whether there are cheaper ways to take part, like joining for part of it rather than being for the whole thing.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: And you might also think about being honest with your close friends, and you don't have to share every financial detail, but as simple and being more careful with my money at the moment is something most people will respect and many will relate to.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: And hosting at home where everyone contributes something small is another low-cost alternative that often ends up being more relaxed than just going out anyway.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: Now if the pressure around money and socializing is starting to affect your mood, your relationships or how you feel day-to-day, it's worth speaking to someone.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: Your GP could be a good starting point, especially if money worries are showing up as anxiety or low mood.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: And you can get free financial guidance, which is available through services like the Money and Pension Service and charities like Step Change or Citizens Advice that can help if debt is part of the picture.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: And also a therapist can help if you're finding it difficult to set boundaries or have these conversations even when you know what you want to say.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Now for more support around managing money, take a look at the resources available in our app.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: If you are thinking of harming yourself or feeling safe, then please reach out for urgent help by contacting local emergency number or a crisis helpline.