Latest / The Ben Maller Show / The Fifth Hour: Tabernacle of The Chicken Finger With Eddie Garcia

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The Fifth Hour: Tabernacle of The Chicken Finger With Eddie Garcia · The Ben Maller Show

0:00
Speaker 1: Kaboom boom.
0:02
Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
0:05
Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
0:09
Speaker 2: of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
0:12
Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
0:15
Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow, the Clearinghouse of
0:19
Speaker 2: hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
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Speaker 2: with Ben Maller starts right now.
0:29
Speaker 1: In the air, amywhere the Fifth Hour with me Ben
0:35
Speaker 1: Mahlor and you are you and we are together on
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Speaker 1: this early Saturday as we are recording this year and
0:44
Speaker 1: back at it has some exhibition games. Somehow the Steelers
0:48
Speaker 1: got shut out by the Jets. I am not going
0:50
Speaker 1: to do a sporty Mallard monologue. That is not going
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Speaker 1: to happen. I did want to mention before I get
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Speaker 1: into the meat of the Saturday podcast if I had
0:59
Speaker 1: been on on the radio last night. I did see
1:04
Speaker 1: the commentary of one Stan cast in Longtime Sports Executive
1:11
Speaker 1: regarding the status of the doyerses the status of the Dodgers,
1:18
Speaker 1: and I saw that, I said, well, that would have
1:20
Speaker 1: been red meat. That would have absolutely been red meat.
1:23
Speaker 1: Had I had a microphone in my hand. On the
1:26
Speaker 1: overnight show would have been ranting and raving, the Dodgers
1:30
Speaker 1: returning home, and the Dodger President Stan Casten desperately denying
1:36
Speaker 1: the franchises for sale, saying the Dodgers are not being sold.
1:40
Speaker 1: They're not for sale. There's no process that has been
1:43
Speaker 1: started to sell it. Period. Okay, so here's the problem.
1:49
Speaker 1: There's three scenarios here for the Dodgers, and I'm not
1:52
Speaker 1: going to go off on a tangent here. There's just
1:54
Speaker 1: three scenarios for the Dodgers. There's one scenario where Mark
1:59
Speaker 1: Walter ends up not being able to pay the amount
2:04
Speaker 1: of tax dollars he owes the federal government. And under
2:08
Speaker 1: that scenario, he has to sell the Dodgers because he'll
2:11
Speaker 1: end up going to jail. Now it's rich people jail,
2:14
Speaker 1: but it's still jail. That scenario number one. Scenario number
2:17
Speaker 1: two is he has to sell everything, keeps the Dodgers. However,
2:26
Speaker 1: the shell game is over. He will not be able
2:28
Speaker 1: to do what he's been doing financially because he will
2:31
Speaker 1: have nothing left having paid the tax bill to the government.
2:35
Speaker 1: And therefore the Dodgers are going to have to be
2:37
Speaker 1: run like every other team in baseball, and they're not
2:41
Speaker 1: going to be able to get the top player every
2:42
Speaker 1: year in free agency. And then the third scenario is
2:46
Speaker 1: the Saudi Wealth Fund comes in and pays off the
2:49
Speaker 1: federal government and then it's business as usual for the Dodgers.
2:53
Speaker 1: They'll they'll just be holding to their sugar daddy who
2:56
Speaker 1: helped pay the tax bill. So those are the three scenarios.
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Speaker 1: And it does even matter whether the Dodgers are for
3:02
Speaker 1: sale today. As we saw, if you believe the reporting,
3:05
Speaker 1: the Lakers were not for sale, and within three days
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Speaker 1: they were sold. So it's irrelevant if you say, listen,
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Speaker 1: the Dodgers are not being sold, they're not for sale.
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Speaker 1: There's no process, blah blah blah. It doesn't matter. You know,
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Speaker 1: you can publicly declare they're not for sale. The Lakers
3:25
Speaker 1: were not for sale, Okay, they were not, And there's
3:28
Speaker 1: enough smoke around the Dodgers' ownership where this is a
3:31
Speaker 1: legitimate possibility. All right. That being said, this is not
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Speaker 1: a sporty podcast. On this edition, the Saturday special of
3:39
Speaker 1: the fifth Hour, the extra crispy add on item off
3:43
Speaker 1: the secret menu, we have bring in the Army Corps
3:47
Speaker 1: of Engineers and the Milky Way. But on this two
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Speaker 1: hundred and thirty fourth day of the other are one
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Speaker 1: hundred and thirty one days left. We begin with a
3:57
Speaker 1: reunion that was long overdue. Now, as you may have
4:01
Speaker 1: seen on the various Ben Maler Show social media accounts
4:05
Speaker 1: on Instagram, Facebook, and x and whatever other electronic bulletin
4:11
Speaker 1: board we are required to feed with content, I spent
4:16
Speaker 1: part of my day on Friday at a power lunch
4:20
Speaker 1: with the man, the myth, the legend, the one and
4:25
Speaker 1: only Edmund Dallas steamboat Willie Garcia, my longtime radio pal,
4:33
Speaker 1: more than twenty years together at Fox Sports Radio, a
4:36
Speaker 1: lot of those on the overnight before Eddie was unfortunately
4:41
Speaker 1: excommunicated in November of twenty twenty four, as I got
4:45
Speaker 1: off a plane on a Monday from Kansas City after
4:48
Speaker 1: a great weekend after a game at Arrowhead and then
4:51
Speaker 1: got the news. So a long time Eddie was at
4:55
Speaker 1: Fox Sports Radio for twenty one years. So it was
4:58
Speaker 1: over twenty years we were together. And just to put
5:01
Speaker 1: that in perspective, do you understand how long twenty years
5:03
Speaker 1: is in radio? Most radio jobs last about as long
5:08
Speaker 1: as the free trial on a streaming service So what
5:12
Speaker 1: I did is I used Moxie as my reference, my
5:15
Speaker 1: dog Moxie, and so in Moxie years aka dog years,
5:20
Speaker 1: that means we work together for seventy nine years. Seventy
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Speaker 1: nine years in dog years, Eddie and I lasted through
5:29
Speaker 1: multiple presidents, several economic crisis, the pandemic of twenty twenty
5:36
Speaker 1: twenty twenty one, the death of Kobe Bryant, and so
5:40
Speaker 1: many other legends, the Red Sox ending, the curse of
5:43
Speaker 1: the Bambino, the Cubs ending the curse of the Billy Goat,
5:47
Speaker 1: the invention of the iPhone, and approximately forty seven different
5:51
Speaker 1: management philosophies and consultants at Fox Sports Radio. I'm just saying,
5:57
Speaker 1: twenty years in radio and we still look shop whenever
6:00
Speaker 1: somebody comes up to us. As you know, I listen
6:02
Speaker 1: to your show. Really, are you serious now? Since Eddie
6:07
Speaker 1: was excommunicated, decommissioned, however you want to say it from
6:11
Speaker 1: Fox Sports Radio, He's an active duty member or active
6:14
Speaker 1: dues paying member of the Fox Sports Radio Alumni Association,
6:20
Speaker 1: and we have bumped into each other often during football season,
6:24
Speaker 1: the Charger games at SOFI. The Chargers played an exhibition
6:28
Speaker 1: game the other day and I was not there. Eddie
6:33
Speaker 1: did go. He was not real happy about it. He
6:35
Speaker 1: didn't I want to go to exhibition games. But he
6:36
Speaker 1: was at Sofi. When I'm at Sofi, I'm working. Those
6:41
Speaker 1: are to me their workplace adjacent encounters because I got
6:45
Speaker 1: to get ready for the show, and so it's not
6:48
Speaker 1: just downtime. You're standing around a stadium of thousands of people.
6:53
Speaker 1: Somebody's yelling, there's a kickoff coming, there's a smell of
6:58
Speaker 1: spilled beer and nachos in the air everywhere, and you
7:02
Speaker 1: exchange pleasantries. You exchange pleasantries and then disappear somewhere in
7:08
Speaker 1: to that concrete mosaic. This was different. This was lunch,
7:13
Speaker 1: a lunch, a formal lunch, a power lunch, as formal
7:17
Speaker 1: as a lunch can be. When you're eating chicken fingers
7:21
Speaker 1: out of basket and there's some plastic on it and
7:24
Speaker 1: I'm not plastic, I guess paper wrap in the basket.
7:27
Speaker 1: So it started because I was making the long expedition
7:32
Speaker 1: from the North Woods into the Fox Sports Radio studios
7:36
Speaker 1: southern California. Driving is not really transportation. If you've ever
7:39
Speaker 1: been to La or you live in La, you know this.
7:41
Speaker 1: It is more of an endurance sport. You don't really
7:44
Speaker 1: commute when you live in the LA area. You explore
7:48
Speaker 1: You're Lewis and Clark with the ways app the four
7:52
Speaker 1: h five, I try to avoid it all costs, very angry,
7:55
Speaker 1: the five emotionally unavailable. The ninety one would like you
8:00
Speaker 1: to die, and it would like to send you to
8:02
Speaker 1: your demise. And then there's all these others, the fifty seven,
8:05
Speaker 1: the fifty five, the one eighteen, the one oh one,
8:10
Speaker 1: the twenty two. It's just nothing but numbers. So I
8:15
Speaker 1: had called Eddie, I'm not gonna lie. I was trying
8:18
Speaker 1: to kill some time. I got a long commute, and
8:21
Speaker 1: we started talking about our buddy, Jake Warner of Stay
8:25
Speaker 1: Awake with Jake Fame. If you've been with the show
8:28
Speaker 1: a long time, you might know that name. Jake's been
8:30
Speaker 1: gone for a very long amount of time from our show.
8:33
Speaker 1: He quit long ago, and we love Jake. He's bounced
8:37
Speaker 1: around the radio world and he recently got married, and
8:41
Speaker 1: so we talked about that, and then we wandered into
8:46
Speaker 1: mutual friends, other mutual friends, radio people, old Fox alumni people.
8:50
Speaker 1: Where are they at now? Did you know so and
8:52
Speaker 1: so is doing a political show? In Virginia, really, I
8:55
Speaker 1: know you. Yeah. Then our other buddy, he's in he's
8:57
Speaker 1: in Florida. He's doing sports talk. He's doing the afternoon Drift.
9:00
Speaker 1: Is that right, he's doing afternoon Drift. Yeah, he's doing
9:02
Speaker 1: afternoon Drift. That's where good? Oh yeah, Tony Bruno, he's
9:05
Speaker 1: retired now, but he still comes back and does radio
9:07
Speaker 1: in Philadelphia. So Tony's still doing his thing. Oh, yes,
9:09
Speaker 1: that's right, Yeah for sure. What about Clay Travis, Well,
9:12
Speaker 1: Clay just made a gazillion dollar selling something to Fox. Well,
9:14
Speaker 1: good for him, way to go. What about Steve and
9:16
Speaker 1: A He's still making more than any of us combined,
9:19
Speaker 1: all of us combined ADESPN. So yeah, we're just talking
9:22
Speaker 1: about that assorted characters that we've collected, mutual characters in
9:26
Speaker 1: our lives over the years. And I thought, what are
9:30
Speaker 1: we doing here? Why don't we actually have a meal.
9:33
Speaker 1: So I set this up for Friday, one of my
9:36
Speaker 1: two sacred days away from the circus, away from the
9:41
Speaker 1: big Top on overnight radio, and so we set it up. Now,
9:44
Speaker 1: there was one problem, actually it's more than one problem,
9:47
Speaker 1: but the one main problem is that Eddie lives nowhere
9:52
Speaker 1: near me in southern California. Nowhere near me can mean
9:57
Speaker 1: a mere seventeen miles, which who might not seem like
10:01
Speaker 1: it's that far. However, when it takes you four hours
10:05
Speaker 1: to circumnavigate the highways and byways, you realize, you know,
10:10
Speaker 1: it's eight hours in the car. I don't know that
10:12
Speaker 1: I want to do that. I mean, I know I
10:15
Speaker 1: have a charm life, and I just get to as
10:17
Speaker 1: long as I play nice in the sandbox, I get
10:19
Speaker 1: to talk about sports. The struggle is real, and so
10:25
Speaker 1: modern technology was summoned. We needed the geographic midpoint between
10:31
Speaker 1: Casa Garcia and the Malar Mansion, and this required Malar math,
10:38
Speaker 1: satellite technology, and possibly the Army Corps of Engineers. We
10:43
Speaker 1: seriously thought, why don't we bring in the Army Corps
10:46
Speaker 1: of Engineers? And where did Destiny send us raising canes
10:52
Speaker 1: the tabernacle of the chicken finger l perfecto. Nothing says
10:58
Speaker 1: power lunch with a couple old radio guys like just
11:02
Speaker 1: hanging out dipping fried poultry and cane sauce, reminiscing about
11:07
Speaker 1: the four monologue on Ichiro Suzuki's Mariners and then realizing, oh,
11:13
Speaker 1: by the way, twenty oh four is the year that
11:17
Speaker 1: Victor Wembanyama was born. The Parisian prodigy is doing pretty
11:21
Speaker 1: well for himself in the Alamo, and you go, holy crackers, Batman,
11:27
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, we were doing a show in four
11:33
Speaker 1: and now, all these years later, this is happening. Nothing
11:36
Speaker 1: ages you faster than discovering a professional athlete was born
11:40
Speaker 1: during a radio segment you vividly remember doing right away.
11:46
Speaker 1: Right away though, the magic returned, because here's something nobody
11:51
Speaker 1: warns you about getting older. When you catch up with
11:54
Speaker 1: an old friend, in this case Eddie Garcia, eventually the
11:57
Speaker 1: conversation becomes an injury report. It's kind of like an
12:01
Speaker 1: Andy Reid comes out at a chiefs press conference. Yeah,
12:06
Speaker 1: we got so and so he's in the trainer's room
12:09
Speaker 1: right now. We're not sure how bad he's doing. And
12:12
Speaker 1: then you know, Joejoe is out for a little while.
12:16
Speaker 1: So you start saying, who's sick, who's died since the
12:19
Speaker 1: last time we talked, who's got the creeping crud? Well,
12:22
Speaker 1: Joe Schmo, he's got the gobbledy goog gobbledy gook. That
12:25
Speaker 1: doesn't sound very good. Yeah, yeah, well so so and
12:28
Speaker 1: so there's something wrong with his thing of a jig,
12:31
Speaker 1: the thing of a jig. Yeah, the thing of a
12:33
Speaker 1: jig's not really working the way it's supposed to be. Well,
12:35
Speaker 1: there's a pill for that. Okay. Remember the guy with
12:38
Speaker 1: the watching McCall it. Oh yeah, the guy, Yeah, he
12:40
Speaker 1: worked at Fox Sports Radio for a little bit. Well,
12:41
Speaker 1: apparently his do hickey mixing with the watch of McCall it,
12:45
Speaker 1: and it's not working anymore. So you're telling me the
12:47
Speaker 1: watch McCall it and the do hickey are tied together
12:50
Speaker 1: and they're not working anymore. Yeah, that apparently is what happened.
12:53
Speaker 1: Is that right? Yeah? I think so. So middle aged
12:57
Speaker 1: or thereabouts, You know, it's all that's fun when people
13:00
Speaker 1: say middle age, because you really don't know how long
13:02
Speaker 1: you're gonna live. You don't know for sure. You know,
13:05
Speaker 1: you like to think you got a good eighty and
13:08
Speaker 1: yet you might check out early. Maybe you get a
13:10
Speaker 1: little bonus time after that. Who knows. But middle aged
13:14
Speaker 1: with a couple of friends you meet for lunch. And
13:17
Speaker 1: I used to see my relatives when I was younger
13:19
Speaker 1: doing this and I always thought, Man, they must be
13:21
Speaker 1: so frickin' bored. What do they talk about? God? What
13:23
Speaker 1: a nightmare? And now I'm that person, right, your two
13:28
Speaker 1: people who've known each other for a long time. You
13:30
Speaker 1: spend forty five minutes explaining how wonderfully you're doing, while
13:34
Speaker 1: simultaneously cataloging every medical catastrophe in your contact list on
13:39
Speaker 1: your phone. Oh yeah, I'm doing great, fantastic, never been better,
13:43
Speaker 1: never been better. Did you hear about Bob Spleen? Yeah,
13:47
Speaker 1: it exploded, curvefluey, just like that. Then you have some fries,
13:53
Speaker 1: You have some fry, you get at ketch up, dip
13:55
Speaker 1: the fries and the ketchup. This is friendship after a
13:57
Speaker 1: certain age. Now. We also talked ray because we're radio guys,
14:02
Speaker 1: and that was considerably less uplifting than talking about the
14:07
Speaker 1: thing of a jig, the what you might call it,
14:08
Speaker 1: and the do hickey and the gobbledgook that we're not working,
14:12
Speaker 1: considerably less uplifting. We discussed the state of the radio business.
14:16
Speaker 1: We talked about what the radio business was like when
14:18
Speaker 1: we started. It's always fun if you enjoy recreational depression.
14:25
Speaker 1: Good time, good f in time. Let me sip my lemonade.
14:29
Speaker 1: I'll be right back now. Radio people discussing the future
14:32
Speaker 1: of radio is akin to dinosaurs holding a seminar on
14:37
Speaker 1: asteroid preparedness. Well, you really don't need to prepare for
14:40
Speaker 1: an asteroid. Yeah, you know why exactly. Yes. So we
14:44
Speaker 1: talked about Eddi's podcast. He's doing a lot of hockey stuff.
14:47
Speaker 1: He's doing a daily hockey podcast. He's very tied in
14:50
Speaker 1: with the La Kings, his plans for the football season,
14:55
Speaker 1: going to Charger games, traveling around the globe, and all
14:59
Speaker 1: of those things. All of those things again, his wife Karen,
15:04
Speaker 1: who's been a big friend of the show, and she's
15:07
Speaker 1: a great woman. Love talking to Karen. Haven't seen her
15:09
Speaker 1: in a long time. Again, all the mutual friends. Just
15:12
Speaker 1: the normal stuff, the normal stuff of life. Me and
15:14
Speaker 1: Eddie Garcia. We talked about that and it was just
15:18
Speaker 1: good being around Eddie again. And I do hope. I
15:21
Speaker 1: have a dream that someday Eddie will come back to
15:23
Speaker 1: Fox Sports Radio. I would absolutely love that. I think
15:26
Speaker 1: he would love it as well, and the company should
15:28
Speaker 1: bring him back. Of course, this is well above my
15:31
Speaker 1: pay grade, and this is my opinion. They can do
15:34
Speaker 1: whatever they want. If it was my call, Eddie would
15:37
Speaker 1: have never been poll axed in the first place, despite
15:41
Speaker 1: popular opinion. And I get emails and I'm sure I'm
15:45
Speaker 1: gonna get a ton I just posted the photo yesterday
15:48
Speaker 1: afternoon evening and I haven't checked my inbox yet. I'm
15:51
Speaker 1: imagining I'm getting a bunch of messages. Well, you should
15:54
Speaker 1: have taken a pay cut to keep Eddie. You're the
15:56
Speaker 1: reason that Eddie's not there. Yeah, despite popular opinion, my
16:01
Speaker 1: authority at Fox Sports Radio. Here's what it extends, roughly
16:04
Speaker 1: to deciding whether I want ice in my water? Do
16:08
Speaker 1: I want water without ice or ice with the water.
16:12
Speaker 1: That's my power, that's it. That's all. Still, it would
16:16
Speaker 1: be great having Eddie back in the building, and I
16:19
Speaker 1: hope that happens sooner than later. Now, we spend a
16:22
Speaker 1: lot of time reminiscing about the old days, the callers,
16:26
Speaker 1: the bigger than life characters that made the Overnight's what
16:29
Speaker 1: they've become over the years, the absolute lunatics who have
16:34
Speaker 1: been part of the fabric of the show and our
16:37
Speaker 1: daily lives. And these are people we talk to every day.
16:40
Speaker 1: We've become friends with them, me and Eddie over the years,
16:43
Speaker 1: on and off the air. Sirias Sean in Arizona, who's
16:47
Speaker 1: really good friends with Eddie. We talk about Marcella and
16:50
Speaker 1: Brooklyn came up, and Alf and Ferdog and Mallard, prop
16:55
Speaker 1: Guy and all these characters. Doc Mike from Chicago Lexus.
17:00
Speaker 1: You know, these guys are getting older. They don't call much.
17:03
Speaker 1: Mark the full name guy who's on the Angel List, hollering, James,
17:06
Speaker 1: all the Legends, all the legends. Marlin's Man came up.
17:10
Speaker 1: I had a discussion with Eddie about our podcast on Friday,
17:15
Speaker 1: the Malard Matchmaker Edition with Sports with Coleman and Marlin's Man.
17:19
Speaker 1: This surreal thing. If you didn't hear the Friday podcast,
17:22
Speaker 1: I set up a meet and greet with Sports with
17:24
Speaker 1: Coleman and Marlin's Man, two people who I know, who
17:26
Speaker 1: I like, who just happened to be at the Orioles
17:29
Speaker 1: game and to see it all play out on TV
17:31
Speaker 1: was awesome. And I'm flipping. I'm flipping back and forth
17:34
Speaker 1: between the Orioles and the Yankees broadcast and right behind
17:37
Speaker 1: home plate in the third row is my friend Sports
17:40
Speaker 1: with Coleman walking down to hang out with Marlin's Man.
17:43
Speaker 1: It was. It was awesome. It was so good, and
17:46
Speaker 1: so we talked about that. You know, Eddie wanted updates
17:49
Speaker 1: on the people that are part of the show. And
17:51
Speaker 1: so we talked about that. Russef's name came up. The
17:53
Speaker 1: rest of the Rusef and he'd be like, well, whatever
17:55
Speaker 1: happened to that guy? And what's that other guy doing? Yeah? Yeah, yeah,
17:59
Speaker 1: that is this person still calling? Is that guy still alive?
18:02
Speaker 1: We talked about Jack the Judge and Leslie, and we
18:05
Speaker 1: were both depressed that we haven't heard from Jack the
18:07
Speaker 1: Judge and Leslie. Something must have happened that was not good,
18:10
Speaker 1: or else one of them would have contacted the show.
18:12
Speaker 1: It's been I think a year or close to a
18:16
Speaker 1: year since we've heard from Jack and Leslie. And so
18:18
Speaker 1: we were bummed out about that. And I told Eddie,
18:20
Speaker 1: I said, listen, I tried to get ahold of Leslie.
18:22
Speaker 1: She had emailed me. I have an email address. The
18:25
Speaker 1: email didn't bounce back. However, I didn't get a reply,
18:29
Speaker 1: So I don't know what happened with that, you know,
18:31
Speaker 1: as a bummer. And we were talking about some of
18:33
Speaker 1: the funny calls. We talked about Maggie, little Maggie from Cleveland,
18:37
Speaker 1: who's all growing up. She was a little girl with
18:39
Speaker 1: her dad delivering the newspaper and she's going to hell.
18:42
Speaker 1: Lebron James. Now she's got like a kid, and it's
18:46
Speaker 1: like it's crazy, crazy, crazy crazy. We went over everything.
18:50
Speaker 1: It's like opening an old baseball card collection, except instead
18:54
Speaker 1: of Mickey Mantle or Willie Mays or the Billy Ripkin
18:58
Speaker 1: ff card or the Ken Griffey ju in your rookie
19:01
Speaker 1: card with upper deck, you've got a man screaming into
19:05
Speaker 1: a telephone at two in the morning, and it's all
19:09
Speaker 1: because he believes the Chargers are going to the Super Bowl. Yeah, okay.
19:14
Speaker 1: And celebrity callers, regular callers, irregular callers, newbie nights. What
19:20
Speaker 1: happened to jedhu Fled I don't know. He didn't call
19:22
Speaker 1: a show anymore. Okay, he's not calling the show. How
19:25
Speaker 1: about Cowboy John Brett, Well, Cowboy calls, but he doesn't
19:27
Speaker 1: call very often. Maybe once a month. Well that's a bummer.
19:30
Speaker 1: Hope he calls more. I agree. We remembered the glory
19:33
Speaker 1: days of arguing with people who were absolutely certain that
19:38
Speaker 1: their team was the greatest team of all time and
19:42
Speaker 1: they were going to dominate, whether it was the AFC
19:44
Speaker 1: or the NFC and the World Series. Talking about that,
19:50
Speaker 1: you know, just craziness. These battles that we had worthy
19:55
Speaker 1: some of these people of winning the Nobel Peace Prize,
19:59
Speaker 1: and Eddie was there. They're living all of it alongside
20:03
Speaker 1: of me. Twenty years at Fox Sports Radio. Now, we
20:05
Speaker 1: didn't work together the entire time. We often worked together
20:08
Speaker 1: on the weekends. We had some stuff we did, and
20:10
Speaker 1: then we moved to the weekday lineup. It's a long
20:13
Speaker 1: time for one human being to sit next to me,
20:18
Speaker 1: the amount of time that we were together on the
20:19
Speaker 1: Overnight Show, and I just listen to me as I
20:21
Speaker 1: complain about literally everything on a daily basis and everybody,
20:25
Speaker 1: so I have the ability, it's an innate ability to
20:29
Speaker 1: complain about literally everything and everybody. Bad coaching check, bad
20:34
Speaker 1: officiating check check. Bullpen management check check check load management. Yeah,
20:41
Speaker 1: you know the deal, airport food, the mini bar at
20:44
Speaker 1: the hotel in Vegas charging me for everything, hotel pillows,
20:49
Speaker 1: bad weather up charges up the wazoo, bad weather in cities.
20:55
Speaker 1: I wasn't even going to visit players regularly. Writing the
21:00
Speaker 1: Vomit comet, Dave Roberts saying I really liked him in
21:04
Speaker 1: that spot. Eddie heard all of it, every single thing,
21:09
Speaker 1: and that is the wacky, wacky, wacky thing, The strange
21:14
Speaker 1: thing about working overnight radio together for two decades. The
21:17
Speaker 1: bosses are sleeping right their way, and most people are
21:22
Speaker 1: in a trance like state. You spend thousands of hours
21:26
Speaker 1: in the same studio. That's more time together than many relatives,
21:31
Speaker 1: and then one day the routine ends. No ceremony, there's
21:35
Speaker 1: no retirement tour, there's no marching band, there's no gold watch,
21:40
Speaker 1: no plaque from the mayor, no day to celebrate you.
21:45
Speaker 1: Just a chair that is empty, the light turned off,
21:50
Speaker 1: and life keeps moving. The on air light keeps flashing.
21:55
Speaker 1: And that is why the chicken fingers mattered. It wasn't
21:59
Speaker 1: really about the lunch, not that I don't enjoy the
22:02
Speaker 1: chicken at raising canes. I do. And it wasn't even
22:05
Speaker 1: really about the radio stuff. It was about sitting across
22:08
Speaker 1: from an old pal and discovering that after all of
22:12
Speaker 1: the time that has gone by, all the changes and
22:16
Speaker 1: all the miles, the conversation was still there. No awkwardness.
22:22
Speaker 1: There was no awkwardness, no warm up period, just two
22:26
Speaker 1: radio pals from back in the day talking nonsense again.
22:30
Speaker 1: And it reminded me of my dad. My dad is
22:33
Speaker 1: last few years of life. He would go out every
22:36
Speaker 1: Sunday for I think it was Sunday. It might have
22:38
Speaker 1: been Saturday. I think it was Sunday. It was on
22:41
Speaker 1: the weekend. He'd go out with his pals from the
22:43
Speaker 1: temple and they would solve all of life's problems, any
22:46
Speaker 1: geopolitical crisis. They would spend like three four hours just schmoozing, right,
22:53
Speaker 1: And that's just how it went. And so again we
22:57
Speaker 1: just caught up on life. We laughed about the past
23:00
Speaker 1: and the different bosses that we had and the crazy
23:03
Speaker 1: things that they had us do, and of course we
23:05
Speaker 1: worried about the future. We consumed enough fried chicken and
23:10
Speaker 1: fries to make ourselves part of somebody else's future injury report.
23:14
Speaker 1: So we'll pop up there at some point. And then
23:16
Speaker 1: that was it. We went our separate ways. Casa Garcia
23:21
Speaker 1: for Eddie, the Malor Mansion for me, and I was
23:24
Speaker 1: back into the bingo card of southern California freeways. And
23:30
Speaker 1: as I got on the highway, there somewhere behind us
23:32
Speaker 1: at the Tabernacle of Chicken Finger, where for one Friday afternoon,
23:38
Speaker 1: twenty years or so of overnight sports radio in Sanity
23:42
Speaker 1: came roaring back. Should have been cameras, should have been
23:45
Speaker 1: lights in there, and it turns out you don't need
23:49
Speaker 1: a studio to have a reunion show. You don't need
23:51
Speaker 1: microphones to have a reunion show. Just an old friend,
23:55
Speaker 1: some good stories, and a bunch of cane sauce. That's
23:59
Speaker 1: all you really need. That's it, That's all you need,
24:02
Speaker 1: all right. Meanwhile, I wanted to mention this. We've talked
24:06
Speaker 1: a lot over the last I don't know how many
24:09
Speaker 1: months have we done the same I guess years. At
24:11
Speaker 1: this point on the fifth hour, we've talked about UFO
24:15
Speaker 1: stuff and some of you guys are big into it,
24:17
Speaker 1: your Coast to Coast listeners, which is odd to me
24:20
Speaker 1: because we're competing with Coast to Coast and you somehow
24:22
Speaker 1: are able to listen to our show and Coast to
24:24
Speaker 1: Coast God bless you. I don't know how many of
24:27
Speaker 1: George Norri's regular listeners crossovers say I need a little
24:31
Speaker 1: sports talk, but we're glad that you guys do. So,
24:33
Speaker 1: there was a story that came out yesterday this former
24:36
Speaker 1: Pentagon UFO consultant, doctor Eric Davis. No relation to the
24:42
Speaker 1: Cincinnati Red's outfielder unless there is so. This guy claims
24:46
Speaker 1: the US government possesses bodies belonging to at least four
24:50
Speaker 1: different alien species, and they are hidden in secret military
24:54
Speaker 1: facilities Area fifty one and others. And he says he
24:59
Speaker 1: is person only seen classified photographs and government records tied
25:04
Speaker 1: to crashed unidentified anonymous phenomena UAPs. We used to call
25:10
Speaker 1: them UFOs back in the old days, but now they
25:12
Speaker 1: call them UAPs, and alleged the big headline in this world.
25:18
Speaker 1: The big headline in this world was extraterrestrial bodies. And
25:23
Speaker 1: the guy said there's a minimum of four that we
25:27
Speaker 1: know of. And he identifies the alleged species as the Grays,
25:31
Speaker 1: the Nordics, the insectoids, and the reptilians, which is not new.
25:37
Speaker 1: This same claim has been made for some time and
25:41
Speaker 1: ranges from the stereotypical large eyed grays to human size
25:46
Speaker 1: praying mantis. And it's just it's craziness, right. You hear
25:51
Speaker 1: about the descriptions and all this stuff. And Davis says
25:55
Speaker 1: he's investigated UAPs for thirty years. He's asking President Trump
25:59
Speaker 1: to waive the NDA and protect him as a UAP
26:05
Speaker 1: whistle blower, So we'll see what happens with that. In
26:09
Speaker 1: the meantime, look I've stayed quiet through the years of
26:14
Speaker 1: the same tired baseline disclosure scripts. I will bring them up,
26:19
Speaker 1: somebody will email me in the mail bag. We'll talk
26:21
Speaker 1: about it. But I've had enough. I forget the congressional
26:25
Speaker 1: hearings which always happened with most things redacted, and the
26:29
Speaker 1: heavily redacted PDF files that we can't share. Skip the
26:33
Speaker 1: press conference entirely. I don't need the press conferences. I
26:37
Speaker 1: want the scouting combine. Now bear with me. I want
26:40
Speaker 1: the scouting combin. The Milky Way NFL Draft is going
26:44
Speaker 1: to be absolutely out of this world. Yes, I know
26:49
Speaker 1: what I did. And the big board. You imagine the
26:51
Speaker 1: big board of the Milkie Way NFL Draft. The analytics, analytics,
26:56
Speaker 1: the analysis insane. With the first overall pick in the
27:01
Speaker 1: twenty twenty seven NFL Draft, the Cleveland Brown select an
27:05
Speaker 1: insectoid giant cockroach come on down, Oh woo well, owner
27:12
Speaker 1: Jimmy has Them literally stood at the podium and said
27:14
Speaker 1: that six foot tall, exoskeleton plated monstrosity will feel right
27:19
Speaker 1: at home in the factory of sadness, saying the Browns
27:23
Speaker 1: have had literal cockroaches crawling around the factory sad as
27:27
Speaker 1: for years, and it's really standard Cleveland logic, right you
27:32
Speaker 1: think about it. To be completely fair to the Browns
27:36
Speaker 1: front office and rival scouts insist the Grays were actually
27:40
Speaker 1: lobbying to be the top pick and it was neck
27:43
Speaker 1: and neck between the Insectoids and the Grays, and the
27:46
Speaker 1: rivals around the NFL said, well, listen, the Grays were
27:50
Speaker 1: the good pick. They chose not to pick the Grays
27:52
Speaker 1: because they absolutely love that gloomy, overcast northern Ohio weather.
27:58
Speaker 1: It's like they'd fit right in there. Meanwhile, the analytics
28:01
Speaker 1: crowd is practically hyperventilating over the Nordics. They're projecting them
28:06
Speaker 1: as generational plug and play fits for teams like Buffalo
28:10
Speaker 1: and Green Bay. Think about a five foot six flawless
28:14
Speaker 1: hair genetically tailored for sub zero weather in the frozen
28:20
Speaker 1: tundra and it's lake effect blizzard. No problem, lake effect blizzard?
28:26
Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? Come on, It's not just a
28:29
Speaker 1: scheme fit. It's practically home field advantage. I mean, it's
28:35
Speaker 1: My goodness, is insane. Now down in the desert southwest
28:41
Speaker 1: Arizona is going all in. They want to draft a reptilian.
28:46
Speaker 1: They would like a reptilian in the two or three spot.
28:49
Speaker 1: The front office is convinced there that letting a cold
28:53
Speaker 1: blooded APEX predator flourish in the scorching desert heat that
28:58
Speaker 1: is the key to unlocking their defense. And somewhere in
29:03
Speaker 1: a basement in Bristol, Connecticut, mel kiper Junior is actively
29:07
Speaker 1: pounding the table, slicked back hair vibrating with sheer fury.
29:13
Speaker 1: He's really upset, yelling at a fat head of his
29:17
Speaker 1: old pal long ago. Let go Todd McShay from years ago,
29:21
Speaker 1: and he's like, I had this gray as my number
29:25
Speaker 1: one extraterrestrial prospects since October. Look at the tape, the
29:31
Speaker 1: lateral quickness, the telepathic pre snap reads. You can't teach
29:37
Speaker 1: that level of hive mind awareness. Forget a huddle. We're
29:41
Speaker 1: talking about a hive And who cares about the forty
29:44
Speaker 1: yard dash the vertical jump. I don't care about a
29:46
Speaker 1: linebacker's bench press. I need UFO times from Mars to Indianapolis.
29:52
Speaker 1: That is what I need. I'm telling you right now.
29:54
Speaker 1: The Nordics in Green Bay are part of a frozen
29:57
Speaker 1: tundra ssyop to control the NFC North, and the NFL
30:02
Speaker 1: is involved. Just think of the bigger picture, Like, think
30:05
Speaker 1: about it. You think it's just a kawinkie dink that
30:08
Speaker 1: a rare race of hyper Nordic athletics specimens wants to
30:14
Speaker 1: play outdoors in Wisconsin in January. It's a total meteorology
30:19
Speaker 1: goal takeover, right, I mean the weather advantage. They're running
30:24
Speaker 1: no huddle, you know at the line there, and they
30:28
Speaker 1: don't need to call any players and go hut hut hike. Yeah,
30:32
Speaker 1: they don't need to do that because they can connect
30:35
Speaker 1: without even talking telepathically, altering the local atmosphere fear of pressure.
30:41
Speaker 1: They can do that as well, keeping the division hostage
30:44
Speaker 1: under a permanent polar vortex even in September. It's not
30:51
Speaker 1: not a rebuild. It's a regional atmosphereic coup designed as
30:56
Speaker 1: a zone blocking scheme. And don't even get me started
30:59
Speaker 1: on the big brain geniuses sitting at the top of
31:02
Speaker 1: the draft board. The Grays aren't prospects. They're scouting us, right.
31:07
Speaker 1: This is a reverse draft, that's what's going on now.
31:10
Speaker 1: We think we think we're putting them through the bench
31:13
Speaker 1: press at the Milky Way draft scouting combine and measuring
31:18
Speaker 1: their wingspan, But look at their eyes. They aren't taking
31:23
Speaker 1: mental reps. They're running a diagnostic on human athletic capability.
31:30
Speaker 1: They're taking notes on our cap space, measuring our defensive schemes,
31:34
Speaker 1: and quietly filling scouting reports back to the mothership. Like
31:40
Speaker 1: we're out here arguing over high ankle sprains and raw athleticism,
31:45
Speaker 1: completely blind to the fact that we're paying three draft
31:50
Speaker 1: picks and forty million dollars guaranteed money just to get
31:53
Speaker 1: mapped by a scout who hasn't blinked since back when
31:57
Speaker 1: Jimmy Carter was in the White House, the Carter admins.
32:00
Speaker 1: It's all connected, the big boards, the climate fits, the
32:04
Speaker 1: telepathic audible system, the Gridiron hasn't seen a talent pipeline
32:10
Speaker 1: like this since the merger. And honestly, I am just
32:14
Speaker 1: waiting to see how the cap works. Do you really
32:19
Speaker 1: have to pay the Nordics? Do they need money? You
32:24
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. I don't know what about the
32:28
Speaker 1: If you're looking at the draft you said, okay, let's
32:31
Speaker 1: take a look at the insectoids. They don't really need
32:34
Speaker 1: money either. Yeah, all right, we'll see what happens when
32:38
Speaker 1: we bring dark matter into this. All right. It is
32:42
Speaker 1: August twenty second, is that we're almost done here. It
32:44
Speaker 1: is Tooth Fairy Day, National Tooth Fairy Day today, and
32:49
Speaker 1: is it true? The modern tooth fairy is much younger
32:54
Speaker 1: than the other folklore, like Santa Claus. The American version
33:00
Speaker 1: started in the early twentieth century, so Santa Claus been
33:04
Speaker 1: around a lot long. Of course, the famous story about
33:06
Speaker 1: Santa Claus is the reason Santa Claus is right. It's
33:08
Speaker 1: because of Coca cola. The tooth fairy though again early
33:12
Speaker 1: twentieth century, and in many countries, from what I understand,
33:15
Speaker 1: falling down a toothfairy rabbit hole, it is a tooth
33:19
Speaker 1: mouse instead. France has what they call the little mouse,
33:24
Speaker 1: and in Spain they have a mouse who collects children's
33:28
Speaker 1: teeth as well, so you've got that. A Spanish writer
33:34
Speaker 1: wrote a story about a mouse in the eighteen nineties
33:38
Speaker 1: who had lost a tooth, and that is credited around
33:42
Speaker 1: the world as the beginning of that the under the
33:45
Speaker 1: pillow tradition of children everywhere right around the world. Elsewhere
33:52
Speaker 1: they may leave a tooth in a slipper or a
33:57
Speaker 1: windowsill or a design spot, and there's all kinds of
34:01
Speaker 1: other traditions where they'll toss baby teeth, onto roofs, under houses,
34:07
Speaker 1: towards the sun, you name it, and nobody really knows,
34:14
Speaker 1: like officially officially who invented the tooth fairy part of it.
34:19
Speaker 1: So we're not sure about that. And in terms of
34:23
Speaker 1: the kids, what is the highest number of teeth that
34:28
Speaker 1: a kid could get paid for? Well, children normally have
34:32
Speaker 1: not one, not two, not three, not four, not five,
34:34
Speaker 1: not six. How about twenty primary or baby teeth, meaning
34:39
Speaker 1: that a kid with a good tooth fairy and a
34:43
Speaker 1: long term contract could get pretty good money. Let's do
34:49
Speaker 1: some malor math on them. Me see if there's some
34:51
Speaker 1: malor math heres. So how much is the average rate
34:54
Speaker 1: for a tooth fairy? So if you lose all twenty
34:57
Speaker 1: teeth at FI five dollars a tooth, you're looking at
35:03
Speaker 1: a one hundred dollars buyout a dental buyout plan of
35:06
Speaker 1: one hundred dollars. That seems like quite a bit. Now,
35:11
Speaker 1: if you get ten dollars and you got twenty teeth,
35:15
Speaker 1: you can do the math on that. So that's two
35:18
Speaker 1: hundred dollars that you get and you can keep going
35:21
Speaker 1: and going and going and going. I don't think there's
35:23
Speaker 1: a salary cap it's like dental nil. Think of it
35:26
Speaker 1: like dental nil. And most of the time it happens
35:32
Speaker 1: while you're sleeping, and that's it, and you don't even
35:36
Speaker 1: notice you lost the tooth. You wake up, where's my tooth?
35:39
Speaker 1: Oftentimes you swallow it and that's it. The tooth fairy
35:43
Speaker 1: works overnight like we do. Well, kids are sleeping, the
35:46
Speaker 1: money all of a sudden appears. No one witnesses it,
35:49
Speaker 1: and from a business standpoint, it's less Cinderella and more Goodfellas.
35:54
Speaker 1: It's more Goodfellas. It's how that works there. So there,
35:57
Speaker 1: it is all right, verus that we had the tooth Fairy.
35:59
Speaker 1: Move right, Dwayne the Rock Johnson. That movie's got. That
36:02
Speaker 1: movie's sixteen years old. The tooth Fairy wow, sixteen years
36:07
Speaker 1: sixteen years Yeah, And unlike Santa Claus, there's no universally
36:12
Speaker 1: accepted tooth fairy, so she can be depicted as a
36:16
Speaker 1: tiny winged fairy, a human sized fairy, or Dwayne the
36:20
Speaker 1: Rock Johnson. Anyway, On that note, we will get out
36:23
Speaker 1: of here. We'll have the mail bag tomorrow. We have
36:26
Speaker 1: still not locked in our mail bag contributor. It may
36:31
Speaker 1: be weed man hippie. He is having some major technical difficulties.
36:35
Speaker 1: If not, we'll go to the bullpen and we'll bring
36:38
Speaker 1: somebody in. So we'll let you know about that. Obviously,
36:40
Speaker 1: we'll hear it on Sunday. Have a great rest of
36:44
Speaker 1: your Saturday, and we will chat with you tomorrow. Tomorrow, Tomorrow,
36:51
Speaker 1: tomorrow is another day or something like that. Oh wait,
36:55
Speaker 1: Dick and Dayton's here. He says bye bye, bye bye
37:00
Speaker 1: Bopolation