Latest / Serious Beef Podcast / You Better Be Dead

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You Better Be Dead · Serious Beef Podcast

0:01
I'm Abby. And I'm Anna.
0:02
And this serious beef and. This coke is in my way.
0:05
Get out of here. Sorry, it's my Coca-Cola your.
0:07
Coke is blocking the microphone. That's because we are all huddle
0:10
around one single microphone. Level around 1 mic again because
0:14
I thought that. Was just me, me and you.
0:16
No, that's it. Just know, and that's what.
0:19
You thought for about a year in 19. 97 it's true by a year.
0:25
And a half then came along saying he's reminding me.
0:29
Olivia or no Olivia, Mom's on the phone with me in the drive
0:33
thru and she goes where did I go wrong talking about Olivia and I
0:37
go probably somewhere around Abby 3, Abby 3.
0:41
Well, you know what? I heard something today.
0:42
I was going to tell you this, but you were drinking.
0:43
You said not to tell you, so it's a good thing to say
0:45
drinking. I saved it.
0:46
She was taken. By Coca-Cola.
0:50
OK, so comedian was talking about how?
0:55
You could just say it was me. She was talking about her
0:56
youngest child and she said she's, she's adorable, she's
0:59
lovely. She's, she's, you know,
1:02
whatever. And she's hateful.
1:05
And she's hateful. She's a teenager.
1:07
Well, OK. And so this is how God gets
1:10
parents, especially moms through the college years.
1:14
Turn your teenager into this hateful little person and then
1:18
when they leave for college or move out or whatever is
1:20
happening, you can just let them go.
1:22
Well, it's all good. You're right.
1:23
And I was like, I never thought about it that way.
1:25
But you know, that might might be true.
1:27
That might be it because she was naming things.
1:29
She's like the sound of the air leaving my nose irritates her.
1:33
We can no longer eat cereal because she doesn't like the
1:36
sound of us chewing. You know, it's like, oh, that's.
1:38
Valid, right? All these little things that she
1:41
was listening, I was like, it's true.
1:42
Every little everything you do as a parent, your teenager, it
1:45
just like sends them through the roof.
1:47
Yeah. Or every little thing you do is
1:50
magic. It's true but but luckily your
1:56
teenagers hit their 20s, turn back into human beings again and
1:59
and life is good. Yeah, When's it going to happen
2:00
for you? Why are you talking to Bum like?
2:04
That. It's never happened for me.
2:06
I'm still trying. I told you last episode I'm
2:08
still in fifth grade or some shit because I was laughing at
2:10
the Blue footed movie. But, you know, livid.
2:14
I can tell them so great. The Boo footed Boo.
2:16
All right, all right, so. All right, hit us.
2:18
What's with us? Let's talk about the beat.
2:20
Hit us with the beef. Is this Olivia's beef?
2:22
Yes. Listen on this fucking podcast
2:25
so many times. It's true.
2:27
Whoa, you fucking listened to a single episode?
2:30
No. The answer?
2:32
I hate him that episode. You know Lynn listened to an
2:34
episode left to come before Legit legit.
2:37
What'd you say? Y'all are stupid.
2:39
She said. I do love natural disaster
2:42
movies. Yes, she does, I told, I said
2:44
she. Does Yacht.
2:45
That's you, yeah. I know, I don't know why I
2:50
pronounce like a mom. That's true.
2:55
I felt like that was cool. For a second, it's pronounced.
2:58
Yacht I know that's like I got to get her in the way and.
3:01
It's like somebody was thinking. OK, back to the beat.
3:05
What was What's your beat, Olivia?
3:08
What? Atlanta, Part 2.
3:10
Atlanta. Atlanta.
3:12
Atlanta. Was our beef last time because
3:16
we couldn't get any liquor at the Walmart?
3:18
And then it doubled down. It got.
3:20
Worse, it did. You know what?
3:22
Why don't you tell us how it got worse for you?
3:23
I think I do. I will.
3:25
OK, so we're me and Sam are. I will.
3:28
I will. Sam and Mary's asleep at this
3:30
point. We've finished recording the
3:32
podcast. It's wrapped.
3:33
We we're back in the. Rooms.
3:35
We have two rooms, one king and two Queens.
3:38
So when I. Called her all.
3:40
There was only one queen in that room.
3:42
Marin, have your share to bed. Living the same share of bed.
3:45
OK, Mara's asleep. Mara's asleep.
3:49
Go. For it.
3:49
OK yeah well so I'm me and Sam are awake.
3:52
We're just kind of chit chatting.
3:53
It's like midnight ish and all of a sudden we hear this like
3:57
horrible crashing noise coming from the bathroom and then sigh
4:00
it. Was that horrible?
4:03
It gets pretty. Bad.
4:04
It was like it was very, very loud and we were immediately
4:07
worried and oh. OK, yeah.
4:10
And I. We were.
4:12
We were. That's also true.
4:15
They didn't even get up. Well, hold.
4:17
On Now, wait a minute. Now, hang on.
4:19
OK, So we hear this crashing noise and I think in my brain, I
4:23
go, there's no way she just fucking fell in the shower.
4:27
Like, there's no way that that just happened.
4:30
And then it was silence. Not not a peep, not a owl, not a
4:35
help, not an I'm OK, nothing. So I go.
4:39
I'm thinking to myself she has dropped something because if I
4:43
crashed I would be like. Lord Jesus.
4:48
Help me. Don't come.
4:50
Don't come in here. I would be.
4:56
I would. Be yelling so I would.
4:58
Be yelling call the bully. Get the draws alive, get the
5:03
jaws alive. Someone called manager, call the
5:11
mayor. Call the mayor.
5:12
So. So you would Sam.
5:13
Do not go check. On her, not even a little.
5:15
In fact, the. First words that came up because
5:17
we both got very quiet and we listened.
5:19
We heard nothing, and then I went You better be dead.
5:23
What a good sister. Yeah, I'm sitting on the.
5:26
Floor just like. You no here's here's not.
5:29
Only did Liv fall in the shower, she fell out of the.
5:31
Shower. No.
5:31
Here's the kicker. Lizard.
5:32
Yeah, she had fallen. She fell out of the shower.
5:39
Grace. Grace was in there too.
5:44
No. Grace is going to.
5:46
Be left the room. And I left the.
5:49
Room Grace. People that shower, they were
5:51
the. Only ones that helped me up.
5:54
No, that was perseverance. That was perseverance because
5:57
you're getting your naked ass off the footer.
5:59
Just. With a shower garden.
6:03
She falls between the top and the toilet.
6:05
Y'all hits her arm on the toilet.
6:07
She's got a pretty, pretty, pretty bruise.
6:08
Let's see the bruise. Let's see the bruise.
6:09
It's. Cleared up by now.
6:10
Let's see. Oh yeah.
6:13
She has a lab. He pretends to punch it.
6:14
She. Didn't.
6:15
It's in my face and it punches my arm.
6:19
Nice. And she's lying there in shine,
6:22
yes, and she has fallen ass on her tea cup.
6:25
I'm just. I was.
6:26
Like I'm just so happy. I'm like, there's no way I just
6:28
out of the shower now for the lady you brought the you brought
6:33
the sharker down with. You brought the whole shower.
6:36
Down with the rod came out of the wall, no.
6:40
No, it was, it was. It was intended to come out of
6:43
the wall for the exact. Fucking reason, yes.
6:45
So. So I can easily fix it.
6:47
Let's for the ladies out there, I did.
6:51
You will open the door and I had to.
6:53
Fix it. Yeah, I did.
6:56
I shoot you. Front lays out there.
6:57
She had Nair all over her legs, as you know.
7:02
I wasn't. I wasn't going to.
7:03
I was going to grab. Her and I shaved no or seeing my
7:06
seeing. My man, the next day she's.
7:07
Going to go see her husband at the concert so she had.
7:10
To do. It to multiple K pop idols.
7:16
Oh. My God, I know.
7:18
OK, but anyway, so she this is this is my favorite part.
7:21
She's so you know, the nails everywhere.
7:23
It's slick. It's not of course she falls.
7:25
She is laying on the floor. At first she's in total shock
7:28
and then she realizes only one leg is done.
7:30
It's. Got an air all over the other
7:33
leg so she got to rub it off to get the hair.
7:36
Off her leg, but she. Can't go to the.
7:38
Concert with one leg full of hair.
7:40
And the other one not. You probably brought exactly the
7:43
from there. Yep.
7:44
I'm dying, I'm dying, I'm laughing, she's telling me this
7:46
whole story. I just feel like putting.
7:48
More on and getting back in that shower.
7:50
She wasn't going. Like I'm going to sit over her,
7:52
I'm going to wipe off my leg and then I'm going to get up and be
7:54
like, hey guys, I just fell. In the shower, she wrapped
7:57
herself in the shower curtain and went out to her sisters to
8:00
tell them that she had just wiped out and could they help
8:04
her. So then they realized, oh, we're
8:06
so sorry, it's so true. And we're shelter.
8:12
Motherfucker. First of all, I.
8:13
Fixed the thing, I said. This is what you're going to do.
8:15
You bowl right here. You're going so you're back on.
8:17
This is what you're going to do right here.
8:20
Because I couldn't, I couldn't put I couldn't put the thing up
8:23
on there. She was wrapped up in the shower
8:25
curse to protect her dignity. What was?
8:28
Left of it. Abby Abby Abby is the only one
8:31
that got the handy Jean and she got fixed the shower.
8:34
Oh, Rod, no. What?
8:37
OK, yes, so the. So.
8:44
The last time we were in Atlanta, Liv got locked in the
8:45
bathroom she had an accident in. The bathroom, he was in the
8:55
room. It's a godless country.
9:02
No whiskey, we met. We met up with mayor's Co worker
9:06
Cindy while we were in Atlanta and I found out that you can say
9:09
anything you want. If you live in the South
9:11
especially, you can say anything you want about anyone as long as
9:16
you add bless your heart, bless her heart, bless his heart,
9:19
whoever. Afterwards I was like, Oh my
9:22
God, look at that ugly baby. Oh bless his heart, bless his
9:24
heart. Is that southern?
9:26
Hospitality, that's what it is. Air quote.
9:28
Yeah, oh man she's so dumb. Bless her heart, bless her
9:31
heart. As long as you say bless your
9:33
heart, it's all good. Now I knew this one but my
9:36
sister didn't know it. They were complaining about a Co
9:38
worker and Cindy said she going to make me put the H before the
9:41
West and Meredith had never heard that and I had heard that.
9:45
And so when you're really, really, really mad, you say what
9:50
what normally you would like. Well, you say what?
9:53
But if you say what then you know, you know, I didn't know
9:56
that person's very mad. I didn't.
9:58
Know I did, but that's from like the.
9:59
H and the W stood for something like I put my hand before right,
10:04
don't make. The wailing.
10:05
The Wacken. Don't make me put the H for the.
10:08
West, my hand before the Wacken. Right.
10:12
Now, now I will say that we did our road trip podcast.
10:15
We're our road trip playlist down there, which we already to
10:18
talk about, but it was banger. It was banger, banger.
10:21
You all you guys were making years in the car, in the car
10:24
real fast. I didn't.
10:25
Even know we were having playlist party.
10:27
Wait a minute, we didn't have Ash.
10:28
You haven't even talked about everything that happened.
10:30
You're correct. But I'm going to I'm going to
10:33
pause this right there real quick because my I have to I
10:36
keep going to set my phone down. Then I have to keep ping it up
10:38
because my phone continues to buzz and it keeps going off and
10:41
I don't want it to like through the microphone when I go back to
10:45
edit this. So the reason it keeps fucking
10:48
going off is because. Olivia, Calm down Tay Tay
10:55
announced a new album, We Have Life.
10:58
Of a showgirl. We know the title of Life of a
11:00
Showgirl. It's.
11:01
Orange and I'll tell you what, Nana, we're going to, we got
11:03
details right now because the New Heights podcast came out at
11:07
6:00. That's Travis Kelsey's podcast
11:09
and she was on it, so she announced it.
11:10
It came out nine minutes ago and now my phone's blowing up
11:14
everybody. 'S down the album.
11:16
We don't know when the album's coming out.
11:17
She didn't give. Did she give a date?
11:19
Probably the 12th of who knows? September.
11:24
God, I hope so. It was announced on the 12th.
11:26
Wouldn't it be on the 13th? No, that'd be the 13th album.
11:29
You'd fucking Dingle. This is your 12th album.
11:33
Educate yourself. Oh.
11:35
My. There's some things I can say,
11:38
but I meant. What she said to me this
11:41
morning, I, we were talking because I said, I texted her and
11:44
I said Dave David has his new album and she's like, I know.
11:46
And then I was yesterday morning.
11:47
It was yesterday morning. And then of course, I didn't
11:49
answer the phone when she called me later, like a like a good
11:51
moment that I am left me several messages.
11:54
Anyway, she oh, there's the cover.
11:57
Oh, that's beautiful. It's teal and orange.
12:00
You're right. Wow.
12:01
Oh baby, it's so fucking on right now.
12:05
Some people are saying that it's going to be like a synth pop
12:07
album, which is like 1989. And I'm like, we are.
12:09
We're so fucking back, listener. Definitely.
12:11
We're ready for that, she says to me anyway, life of a
12:13
showgirl. Give me some tassels.
12:15
I'm. Ready.
12:16
The Life of a Showgirl, featuring Sabrina Carpenter.
12:17
Are you fucking me? Are you fucking shitting me
12:19
right now? No, she said.
12:21
Something about she was collaborating with Chapel Rome,
12:23
is that true? I don't know it doesn't say it
12:26
on near how many contact Chapel the the the track do something
12:29
country the track list the track.
12:32
Could you imagine if she goes on tour and Chapel Rd. opens for
12:34
her? The the the set list.
12:38
Sorry. Or sorry, the album was just the
12:40
fate of Ophelia Elizabeth Taylor.
12:43
O Opalite Opolite. Opolite.
12:45
OK, father figure, eldest daughter.
12:48
That's for me. Oh, that one's for you.
12:50
Ruin the friendship also for me. No actually romantic wish list.
12:56
But the s s and wish and list are dollar signs.
12:59
Would just the word would which 19 number 9?
13:03
Called which? Which?
13:04
Would WOOD that one's for Travis cancelled.
13:10
That was for Anna. Cancelled.
13:11
How did that come in? Honey, honey and then the life
13:16
of for the bees though. And then?
13:20
There's a bee and then the Life of a showgirl, featuring Sabrina
13:23
Carpenter. Carpenter All right, all right,
13:25
Cool, cool, cool. We're excited.
13:27
We don't know what's coming out, but we're excited.
13:28
Excuse me. Oh my.
13:30
Goodness, anyways. OK, this is your sauce.
13:34
Oh yeah, You know what? You know what?
13:35
We didn't say our songs because after we went to we went to
13:37
Atlanta to go to a concert. We.
13:39
Actually, I do want to do a pause real quick, asshole.
13:43
Asshole. I was like, what do you call it
13:45
as? Well, I want to.
13:46
Do a pause, asshole. I want to throw I want to throw
13:48
this out here since we're putting in plugs strike is have
13:51
an owl going out August 22nd chompins in the cowboy vest
13:55
we're. Leaving that in.
14:02
Wait, wait, wait, Blister. Her eyes just went, Really.
14:06
Sprung out of my tongue back into my mouth.
14:09
It's true, it's true. She had the the eyes, the
14:11
cowboy. We had to do the.
14:15
Like the curtain and you like pull a little bit.
14:18
Yeah. We get Cowboy Bang chant and
14:20
that's exciting, it's true, but. Anyway, cowboy, what?
14:23
Cowboy did what? The chant.
14:27
Anyways, anyways, we went to see X Scenario Heroes down in
14:30
Atlanta while you and Dad went over to literally across the
14:34
street to the Braves stadium. Drew his part.
14:36
It was not a good game to. See the Braves play because as
14:39
you all you both know, but on the listeners know when he
14:41
travels around the country with his buddies and they go to a
14:43
different ballpark every summer and he missed Atlanta because I
14:47
was going through chemo and whatever.
14:48
That's unbelievable. So since we were going to
14:50
Atlanta, we're like, you should come along because we're going
14:54
to be across the street from the stadium.
14:56
We're staying very close. You could take in the game,
14:58
check off Atlanta off of your list.
15:00
So he did. Abby Kim wanted to go to the
15:01
game with Wayne. So that was super fun.
15:04
We actually crossed the street and you texted me and said I see
15:06
losers over there in line for the concert.
15:08
You saw us in the lawn to get in.
15:10
But I did so I was. Like, oh God.
15:12
Our concert was the group of external heroes, KK Rock, K
15:16
Rock. This time I did.
15:18
Our band I did. Yell while you guys were in line
15:21
and I went. They don't have tickets.
15:24
We had tickets, we had VIP, we met the band, we got a picture.
15:27
OMG. It was so exciting, like a
15:29
proposed check the rock. It's not true.
15:35
Oh, lots of virgins she's having.
15:37
Lots of virgins. This came up.
15:48
This came up. What are you?
15:51
Doing right now because it's not going to make any sense to
15:54
anyone. It's just gibberish.
15:55
It's a. Bit deluxe edition.
15:57
That's deluxe edition. Jordan.
15:59
No, they just bother dropping right now.
16:02
Oh my God. Wait wait wait, do you all ever
16:06
watch The Flintstones? And the one girl would always
16:11
say Oh my stars. Look at the glitter.
16:19
Can we focus? Please?
16:20
No. Look at this one's called the
16:22
Life of A. Showgirl Sweat and vanilla
16:24
perfume edition Limited release of deluxe CD.
16:26
This one is the life of a showgirl.
16:28
It's frightening. Edition.
16:29
This one I don't. Know if it's?
16:31
The pictures come up, but there's a bluish look.
16:32
How? Pretty purpley bluish 1 and that
16:34
one is the silver champagne. Is it silver or champagne?
16:38
Ashley said. Do you want me to pre-order?
16:39
She's a real 1. And I said no.
16:41
Don't pre-order I'll I'll for the deluxe edition they're.
16:45
Already out which one? Which one do you get?
16:49
Hang on a second. I have to tell the story because
16:52
on our way home we stopped at Bucky's and Abby was wearing her
16:55
Bucky's T-shirt and met the Bucky the Busey.
16:59
Ryan Buck. And then she changed her profile
17:02
picture. It was a picture of her with
17:04
Bucky. I did.
17:05
And I said, oh, Abby, you're live.
17:08
No, my top was on. It was on.
17:11
I said, Abby, your life is complete now.
17:13
And she said not yet. And I said, Oh yeah, you have to
17:16
get to a Taylor Swift concert because we missed the art store
17:19
like fools. And Abby says that too.
17:22
And by God, I'm going to sit in that trolley.
17:25
And I'm on the. Fucking in the God damn
17:28
spaghetti factory. These are Abby's.
17:30
Goals Taylor Swift concert and to sit sit in the trolley at the
17:35
Old Spaghetti Factory and on the landing.
17:37
It's true, she says. I swear to God, if I don't get
17:40
to sit in that trolley before I die, I will haunt you all.
17:44
I wouldn't. And and I'd fucking do it.
17:47
Now here's the thing. OK, OK, so I've looked it up
17:51
here so I can That's champagne. But look at the different
17:54
things. They all come with a thing.
17:56
Silver and gold redded redded silver for sure.
17:59
They come with like, are they necklace?
18:01
Or this is the original? I don't know, they might be a
18:03
bracelet. We don't know what, Yeah.
18:05
They all four. I've never done it before.
18:09
I've never done that before. I've only ever gotten one
18:11
because. Look at all the different
18:12
pictures. Look at all the.
18:14
I know Tay Tay is one of the smart smart marketers of her of
18:17
her music. She packages her shit like K pop
18:19
music does and she's got pictures in different ones in
18:23
every album. Embrace.
18:25
How many photo cars do you have? Oh, this is OK.
18:28
So we've got sweat and vanilla perfume.
18:30
It's frightening, it's rapturous, and it's beautiful.
18:33
OK this. One's the other one that
18:35
doesn't. With it's.
18:37
I know that's the original because look at look at the
18:39
background. Look, it's glitter.
18:42
It's glitter, I'm sure. Should I just put look at they
18:44
already? They already know me at all.
18:45
Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK.
18:48
She did it. I haven't purchased.
18:51
Oh, my God. Hold on.
18:51
Wait. She's looking at that.
18:53
Did we discuss the fact that on top of me getting my ass whooped
18:59
by a bathtub, I not only didn't get a Baja Blaster at the
19:03
concert? And to the catcher, we always
19:05
get a Taco Bell. You go to the Taco Bell.
19:07
Atlanta, I went to bed. No Baja blast.
19:10
Sorry, sorry. Atlanta.
19:12
Atlanta ends. No Baja blast.
19:14
They were out how your Taco Bell.
19:15
How are you out of like dare? And they put chicken on her
19:19
quesadilla. And what if I what if I was
19:20
vegetarian? It's supposed to be cheese.
19:22
Could have died. You could have lost your vegan
19:25
powers, but. We go to live.
19:28
We go to leave. Lead clenches her fists.
19:31
And that says Atlanta, the law. She's so angry.
19:36
She was so angry. And so we said the devil went
19:38
down to Georgia because Georgia is hell.
19:40
So now we are, we are this. Is the second day of our trip
19:43
and we have now gotten no whiskey.
19:46
We no. No, we wouldn't have got
19:48
whiskey. We had to go eventually.
19:49
OK we had no whiskey Friday night, OK slipped in the shower
19:54
and then now I got a fucked up tub, a bill order only for
19:59
dinner, 3 to roll around and I'm just wanting to go home at this
20:03
point. But.
20:05
The concert was beyond words. Incredible, amazing.
20:09
Love it. But anything that happened
20:11
outside of the concert would not recommend.
20:13
And I are sitting in the car just now driving here and I have
20:16
a song on by ex and their heroes.
20:18
And I said, I literally said to her, I can't believe we got to
20:20
see them. I'm still riding high and we're
20:22
like, we're like clasping hams. This is humans.
20:25
And this is just cats, this is just out of the travelling
20:28
pants. Oh my God, I can't believe we're
20:30
here. Oh my God.
20:32
But final day we. Looked amazing, we loved it, we
20:35
had a blast, but. We're in the hotel room and I'm
20:37
packing up my stuff. Yes, I smack Save's ass.
20:41
I turn around. That apparently triggers Abby to
20:45
try to smack. My ass, of course.
20:47
You know we're going to say that it wasn't Sam who started it.
20:50
No, I remember now. I put my hand back to blood.
20:56
That was the. First mistake.
20:57
First mistake. Don't put your hand back.
20:58
There's that first sniper hat the first time.
21:01
Then I tried blocking her smack and it worked out just fine OK.
21:05
This time, however, ended too terribly.
21:08
It ended. It ended in.
21:09
Tragedy. She's holding up her.
21:11
Pinky It's got a little Band-Aid, a little bit, a little
21:14
bit a. Little.
21:15
Band. Aid Band-Aid.
21:18
Oh yes, a little Band-Aid my fingernail.
21:20
So she comes over. Do you have a Band-Aid?
21:22
Like this almost lost my piggy nail.
21:24
I was like, Oh my God. So we had to wrap.
21:26
It and I did. I was being dramatic.
21:28
It was hanging off and it was bleeding out.
21:29
I was dying to. God to bet she didn't.
21:33
But let me better be you better be done.
21:36
Let me tell you something. No, but I had.
21:38
Enough of that later. OK, I'm getting a little.
21:40
I'm like I'm getting real with. Did you buy them?
21:42
Did you buy? Them No, I'm getting real the
21:44
listeners right now. I didn't.
21:46
I, I didn't. Fake fan.
21:47
Fake fan. They're gonna sell.
21:49
It Nope, they're not. You know why?
21:50
Because my wife already bought them all.
21:53
Oh. You have the best wife ever.
21:56
I know Lister, I have them in my cart and she goes, I wasn't sure
21:59
if you wanted the CD that came with the poster and the cassette
22:01
tape or not. So I but I didn't get those.
22:04
I just got all four of the deluxe CDs.
22:06
She knows me. You owe her big.
22:08
I'm gonna have to treat her. Victoria.
22:10
Very right. Treat her.
22:11
Take her out to dinner, give her lots of I'll take her out to.
22:14
I'll take her out to Dave. We're going to go out and listen
22:16
to him fucking dead this way. Oh my God.
22:18
Hey, can you look at the cassette tape?
22:19
Look at the glitter. Yeah.
22:20
Hey, can you tell her to also speaking?
22:22
Are they literally selling cassette?
22:24
Tapes. It's a little ceremony.
22:25
Versions. Can you tell her to order this
22:27
Cazoo version? Yeah, Tell.
22:29
Her tell her we have I go. She says that the CDs out, she
22:32
goes, do you want me to get it? And I go, well, I was going to
22:34
wait till the deluxe edition was out because at that time I
22:36
didn't think that they were out. And then I text her.
22:38
The Deluxe edition's are out. And then I said.
22:40
Oh God, should I get the ball? And she goes, well, I'm one man
22:43
out And I put a question mark and she goes, I and then I said,
22:47
my mom, I'm going to live here trying to talk me into buying
22:48
them all. And she goes, I've been waiting
22:50
in line with them all And I go, Oh my God, love of my life.
22:55
And then she goes, I bought them all, all four.
23:00
Ash is the best. I know what color.
23:02
I Ashley love of my life. Thank you so much.
23:09
She owes you big ass. Yeah.
23:11
I knew you weren't answering back so I just added them.
23:14
All I didn't think the. Deluxe I didn't think the
23:16
deluxe. This is the limited release.
23:18
Deluxe CDs are only available for the next 71 hours I.
23:22
Maybe wouldn't have made. It OK bless you child.
23:26
Well, I'm. Happy for you.
23:32
I literally you go, you go. I just bought them all and I
23:35
almost burst into tears. She didn't too good, Ashley.
23:38
I know you too well. She does.
23:41
Did you wait? Did you just order them?
23:42
Because they all come with a little piece of jewelry.
23:43
And they're all beautiful. Well, I was gonna.
23:46
Just buy one of them. And then I noticed.
23:48
They all came with different and then I read the descriptions,
23:50
which I know that's a mistake when you're waiting for Taylor
23:53
Swift things. But I was reading the
23:56
descriptions and they said they all had their own photo cards
23:59
and things like that. And I was like, oh, I know she's
24:01
gonna want all of these. You have no idea how funny this
24:04
is. It's such AK pop thing it's
24:07
hilarious. I was like, she's gonna want all
24:09
of these and I don't know which one she would want more than the
24:12
rest. So they're only 18 bucks.
24:14
I'll buy all of them. Wow.
24:15
So. Actually, we straight kids have
24:17
a new album coming out soon. Oh yeah, if you're taking.
24:19
Requests you're taking, requests you.
24:24
Do me a favor, listen for a friend.
24:26
We're so goddamn back right now, She looks.
24:29
Amazing. Recession pop is recession pop.
24:33
Recession pop is like Ke$ha Lady Gaga when they were big.
24:38
We were in the recession in 1989 and we're back, baby, we got.
24:43
Sure, Mayhem with Lady Gaga and then we got Ke$ha.
24:47
I I know, but I can't remember the name of her album because it
24:50
has joy. Ride and Oh hold on let me look
24:53
it up. Ke$ha album.
24:57
It's just a period. I think it's just, I think it's
25:00
literally just a period, really. Period.
25:02
It's called period blood. No, stop.
25:06
It's look at, look at it, period, period.
25:10
That's why she did pink dots well.
25:13
OK. Can we get back?
25:14
To the podcast. All right, Ashley, I love you.
25:17
Bye deep side that was, a happy side that was.
25:23
My if I could get paid for delight and buy my.
25:26
Own albums. OK, so we've established that we
25:31
that Atlanta was not is not Liz's favorite place on the
25:34
planet. No, it's.
25:34
Terrible. You ain't a kid.
25:35
We're going to say our sauce, yes, which is the jalapeno
25:38
sauce. They used to put on cheese
25:40
quesadillas and then they changed it up and now you got to
25:43
ask for it on the side. Anyway, our sauce is jalapenos.
25:45
It was like a Twilight zone. OK, OK, so.
25:46
Oh, I see. OK, so you so.
25:49
But no Baja Blast, No. Baja Yeah, we discussed it all.
25:52
You're you're you're still basking in the assignment of the
25:55
your Wi-Fi and you the the. You know what?
25:58
You know you married the right person.
25:59
Yep. I'm gonna have to tell my
26:00
manager about this. She's also Swifty.
26:02
So love it, so love it. How did you did you manifest
26:05
that? I manifested like my entire team
26:07
with Swifty's right now and yeah.
26:10
Best day of my life. I mean your wife, your.
26:12
Wife so oh how did what did she say?
26:14
Knows me the night. Before you met.
26:17
Her OH. I need something like that to
26:19
give me like albums. She needs to find a man that
26:22
will take care of her like that. It's true.
26:24
Let. Me tell you something I saw a
26:26
thing I I saw this is a good this is good dating advice OK OK
26:31
and it was like never settle because never settle because a
26:35
man's best is a lesbian's bare minimum don't settle a lot a lot
26:42
not not every man hashtagnallman hashtagnallman but which is not
26:46
how that. Tag is supposed to be used.
26:48
No, but a lot of a lot of guys, you know, I remember we were
26:52
talking to some of our friends that are that are also gay.
26:55
Besides Wayne though. Well, Wayne's not gay, so.
26:59
No, I mean like. When you're talking about like a
27:02
lot of guys, I. Think no, Yeah, no, no, no, no.
27:05
I've. Already established that.
27:05
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no.
27:07
We talked to some of our friends who are also gay and it's like
27:10
the stuff that that that lesbians are willing to do for
27:12
their partner. I like, I remember seeing the
27:15
one thing that was like, Oh yeah, this my, my girlfriend
27:18
mentioned this thing one time. So I went on and found her
27:21
childhood favorite like toy that she never got for Christmas.
27:25
And I purchased it because it does not sold anywhere.
27:27
And then they gave it to them not for like anything just
27:31
cause. And they're like, they're like,
27:33
this is a lesbians bare minimum. OK, So never settle.
27:37
Wow. Never.
27:39
Settle. Get yourself and Ashley who will
27:41
buy you Taylor Swift albums because she knows that you're
27:43
busy recording. Jesus Christ, that's true love
27:48
right there. I'll tell you what, Speaking of
27:51
true love, no one has a greater love than than your mother. 04
27:57
Tartar sauce. 4 Tartar sauce. Yeah, for mom, Children, mom.
28:03
Says I love tartar sauce. Orders orders the the Mcfish.
28:08
I like the flavor. Is it called the mcfish?
28:09
But I don't. Like the crunchy bits, it's a
28:11
car. The fish filet.
28:12
It's just a fish filet. I call it the Mcfish.
28:16
She. Orders it, gets the tartar sauce
28:17
on it. She just I love tartar sauce.
28:19
Opens that butt up, wipes it off.
28:21
I just put the flavor of the tartar sauce, not the crunchy
28:23
bits in there. I don't like that part, I said.
28:24
Have you tried mayonnaise? No, it tastes different.
28:27
It's a different flavor tartar has.
28:28
Different. Anyway, anyways, we came back
28:31
from this, one of the most amazing concerts I've ever been
28:34
to, and I've been to a lot of concerts in that one.
28:36
I know just this year, just this year, it's true.
28:38
And Abby had already gone to bed and we were told she was asleep
28:43
and so we ate. Our Taco Bell.
28:45
Tired, we ate our Taco Bell and then we all went to sleep and
28:48
we'll try to anyway. And I'm laying in my bed and I
28:50
get a text from Abby that says so you've returned and didn't
28:54
even come say goodnight. No tucking me in, no smooches,
28:58
no nothing. I've been abandoned.
29:01
Yes, now This is why these everyone has come back into
29:04
their. Room and you had not come back
29:06
to see me. I said I thought you were
29:09
asleep. I'll be right over joking.
29:12
I'm not getting out of bed and going right over there.
29:14
And then I just say goodnight and I've had the kiss blowing
29:17
emoji. A bit late for that, she says.
29:20
I send I send the GIF of Flanders smothering someone with
29:23
a pillow and then she sends me. Well, we're waiting from from.
29:31
A pet check. And then you said, you said
29:34
you'd be right over. How long does it take to
29:36
commute? And then I realized I gave my
29:40
key to Liv so you could go back to your room.
29:43
I don't have a key to that route.
29:45
OK, So I'm like, I'm off the hook.
29:46
I can't go over there. Wrong.
29:48
Again, lock the latch on your door so it stays popped open and
29:51
knock on our door. Problem solved.
29:53
Then you could tuck us all in. I'm like, damn it, I'm already.
29:56
I just said I'm already in bed, go to sleep.
29:58
Don't let me find you on the floor next to my bed in the
30:01
middle of the night either because she's always when she
30:02
was little, she would come sleep on the floor.
30:04
It's true, I get. Boo Boo.
30:07
So I send a GIF of SpongeBob tucking in Squidward and I said
30:11
virtual tucking in. Will have to do smooches then,
30:15
Abby replies. It's in quotes.
30:17
I'm quoting you. I wish I could go back to when
30:19
you were just when you were all, when you were all just little
30:21
girls. And then I said.
30:23
#Doubt #doubt #untucked. Hashtag so, so cold.
30:28
I respond. Goodnight #unsmooched.
30:34
And then and then. You don't know this, but as
30:37
Sam's across for me, as I'm reading, I'm reading #untucked
30:40
hashtag, so, so cold #unswitched, and Sam goes.
30:45
Sam goes, should I text her? I go, yes.
30:47
So what did Sam text? Do, Sam texted me.
30:50
So that's a no on the on the tucking in.
30:52
That's a no on the tucking in. My response was God damn.
30:55
It see how I was the one that didn't bother you because.
30:58
You weren't too focused without slipping in the shower.
31:03
Taking a shower the whole time, the whole.
31:05
Time I text you, I'm giggling because it's funny, right?
31:08
And Wayne's like what is going on?
31:09
I was like, Abby's just being silly and then I.
31:11
Fling the. I fling the covers back and I
31:14
stomp out of the bed and he says, what the Hell's going on?
31:17
I said those. Bitches want me to tuck them in.
31:19
No children. I stall those bitches, I said.
31:24
And then we, from the other side of the door, heard the Mr. Krabs
31:26
walking back. I stomped my way.
31:28
Across the hall. I obviously.
31:33
I can't be too loud because it's like freaking.
31:34
After midnight I knock on the door and I lean Brook closer.
31:37
You better open this. Goddamn door Ashley, He's not
31:40
sure. Olivia Who's?
31:42
Right by the door. He's like, I know.
31:44
I'm not opening the door. I'm.
31:45
Already in bed. I'm already in bed.
31:48
Not in bed. No, because I had to get up.
31:50
I was like. I took a Snapchat of.
31:53
You walking in the room and showed me that I'm not I was you
31:55
weren't in bed because I go God damn it I get up she.
32:01
Falls past me into her bed and then goes.
32:04
And then she starts. Now you're at the door and you
32:06
go you. Better open this.
32:09
Goddamn door. So I open the door and then he
32:12
said. Get your hands back in bed.
32:15
Shut the door, shove her into the bed.
32:17
I just. Cover her up.
32:18
I tuck the covers around her, I give her a smooch and I swat her
32:21
in the butt and I turn over and I do the same thing to Sam.
32:25
So I smack her. I said, oh, you forgot about.
32:30
Mayor. Mayor said that's OK.
32:35
I'm. Opting out and did the same
32:37
thing to It wasn't No, you did not.
32:40
I'll be honest it. Wasn't.
32:41
I'll be honest, it wasn't your best tuck job.
32:44
It wasn't. It was my worst.
32:47
For some. Reason For some reason you got.
32:52
Out of the bed. Because I was wiping my makeup
32:54
off. Prevented me from leaving the
32:55
room. That's true because someone
32:56
brought up. Are you going to rub our heads
32:58
till we fall? Asleep and I was like this.
33:00
Is my time. This is my time.
33:02
And Liv said yes and grabbed me and would not let me leave the.
33:05
Room handcuffed you. Where do you think you're going?
33:08
So I had to go to each. You're going back to the
33:10
Christian? I'd go to Abby.
33:12
I'd rub her head. One rub I know.
33:14
I'm saying. One rub Liv.
33:16
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Lil gets herself all in the bed,
33:19
back in the bed, covered up, arms folded across.
33:22
She was wait, wait, wait. She starts the music, baby mine
33:25
from Dumbo and I had to give her a couple rubs on the head and I
33:31
said, and then I tried, I tried to leave again and somebody was
33:34
like no, we got to do absent. No, that's enough.
33:36
Everybody's had one rub and. Someone.
33:39
Yeah, multiple red. And I went back to my room and
33:44
went to bed. She took my spot on the bed real
33:46
quick. She was spooting with a little
33:48
bit. So any any who the person that
33:50
was texting you the most got the shit?
33:52
Deal, I did. I worked so hard for that.
33:55
And Olivia's like. Baby, Baby I.
33:58
Was like. I waited for this.
34:06
For 10 years and ask him and. She's the one says I haven't, I
34:09
haven't done this for 10 years. And Mary looks at you and says
34:12
what's she going to do to sing a song?
34:14
That was before you started baby mind and you said no she going
34:17
to. A tap dance?
34:21
No idea. Now hang on.
34:23
So that was that was an experience.
34:25
You could call it that. You could call it an experience.
34:29
Now, I was going to read to you because we're on a road trip, so
34:33
I'm just going to intersperse a little bit here.
34:35
OK, let's do it. So on a road trip you need Rd.
34:40
snacks. You do that's.
34:42
True. What's your Rd. snack?
34:44
What's your Rd. snack 'cause mine was a super blow pop.
34:47
Yes, 'cause you super suck. Hold right into it.
34:53
What is? What is your roads usually?
34:55
Way and I your dad and I like the pool of peel licorice.
34:57
I think. I think mine changes 'cause I
35:00
don't have a one set snack like sometimes.
35:01
Oh, me too. Sometimes I don't like it this
35:03
time. Sometimes it'll be like Pringles
35:06
and sometimes it'll be like several gummy worms, and then
35:10
or. Slim Jims Slim.
35:13
If you will. M&M's for sure.
35:17
The peanut M&M's. What?
35:19
Yeah, peanut butter, but the M&M's are very expensive, right?
35:23
Now they are. They are.
35:25
Cancelled. Yeah, cancelled.
35:26
Cancelled mayor got high chews. We love the high chews.
35:30
The high chew is good, so it's like if you wanted, it's like if
35:33
you wanted to have Hubba Bubba, but you wanted it to
35:35
intentionally fall apart. Yeah, it was so.
35:37
Funny though, it's. Kind of like a that's a joke.
35:38
It's like a Stardust Starburst. Starburst Starburst.
35:41
What does that call it? Stardust Starburst It's.
35:44
Got like a starburst. Mayor's got this bag of high
35:46
chews and she's looking and looking and digging around,
35:48
digging around and she's like, man, why are the orange ones so?
35:50
Scares and then she looks at the bag and goes oh, there are no
35:53
orange ones in this bag. No, but that's the thing.
35:56
That's why I was like, hey, do any of the bags you have have
35:59
the watermelon flavor in it? And she's like looking around.
36:02
She's like. No, I was like.
36:03
Damn, forgetting that I have my own bag of pint shoes in my bag
36:08
that had. What an is it?
36:11
Go take something else with. Watermelon.
36:12
So I was like, oh, the watermelon doesn't.
36:13
Have any watermelon? Oh well, Oh well, not a.
36:16
Problem. Oh well, not thinking about.
36:19
The ones that I have, so you gotta you gotta have Rd. snacks.
36:22
So. What do you got for us about Rd.
36:24
Snacks. Well, so it's not really Rd.
36:25
snacks, but it is something that I remembered, so it has nothing
36:28
to do with it. It's a snack.
36:29
It's a snack. OK.
36:30
All right, So you know about Oreos, You know how they, like,
36:34
come up with different fucking flavors all the time?
36:36
You can't see them. I don't have them.
36:38
I've noticed they've been coming up with all kinds of.
36:40
They always come up with with care.
36:44
You couldn't get Oreos as a road snack.
36:46
I'm tying it in. OK, so, so the Zodiac today is
36:49
what is your Oreo flavor based on your Zodiac sign?
36:54
OK All right, so we're going to start it off hot.
36:55
Aries, you are the chocolate strawberry Oreo.
36:58
Yeah. Courageous, confident and
37:02
determined. What better way to represent an
37:04
Aries than the ultimate symbol of love, chocolate cream.
37:10
With a strawberry centre stuffed between two chocolate wafers,
37:14
these cookies evoke fiery passion present in every Aries
37:18
and deliver dynamic flavour worthy of their hard earned
37:21
praise. It's.
37:21
Just a cookie. Oh my God, an Oreo is never just
37:26
a cookie. It's just a cookie.
37:29
The passion. Taurus Taurus, your Choco chip
37:34
Oreo. Chocolate chip or?
37:40
Chocolate. Not to be use of chocolate.
37:41
Chip so so you. If you want you could just get a
37:43
chocolate chip cookie, but if you want an Oreo then you.
37:46
OK, yes, chocolate chip flavored cream.
37:48
There's no chocolate chips. You won't find any in here.
37:50
A lover of all things classic, a blend of the world's two most
37:53
famous cookies is perfect for a reliable Taurus.
37:57
These limited edition cookies feature Oreo's first ever dual
38:00
flavored wafer to nail the fresh from the oven cookie look.
38:05
Warm hearted Tauruses will love nibbling on these delights while
38:07
catching up with old friends. Interesting.
38:10
Gemini. OK.
38:11
Your caramel coconut Oreo OH. She hates Sam.
38:15
Hates coconut. That was she Caramel coconut,
38:18
Terry. Why?
38:19
Caramel coconut. That's weird.
38:21
Caramel coconut cream. Well, I guess it's like a
38:24
German. Chocolate.
38:24
Oh, and there's coconut pieces in there too.
38:26
Oh. Oh.
38:27
Sorry, sorry. Two distinct flavors rolled into
38:30
one. Caramel coconut Oreos are the
38:33
dessert version of a multifaceted Gemini.
38:35
Curious and curious and quick to learn.
38:39
Indecisive but lively. That's you know what, Indecisive
38:42
but lively. So Sam right on the head being
38:50
two things at once means Gemini's never have to choose
38:52
between experiences. Just like their cookie, complete
38:55
with chocolate, coconut and a hint of caramel, It takes a
38:58
certain type of person to fully appreciate the many elements of
39:01
this. Oreo Cancer.
39:03
Cancer is perfect. OK, OK.
39:05
Reese's Peanut Buttercup. Oreo.
39:07
Yep, that's your. Den.
39:08
You can't go wrong with chocolate and peanut butter,
39:10
especially when it comes to Reese's peanut butter.
39:12
You really can't. You really can't go wrong.
39:13
Oreo teamed up with the iconic candy brand to bring it to
39:16
create a cookie with half chocolate and half peanut butter
39:19
cream on the classic chocolate wafer.
39:21
But it's it's but. I guess if you eat from this, if
39:24
you eat straight down the middle, if you eat from one
39:26
side, you don't get the combo. You really got to make sure you
39:29
eat those right. Who is eating Oreos and
39:31
multiple? Bites okay, Abby without
39:37
surviving you'd be like eat me and the girls taking one bite.
39:41
She's like, I would not surprise me.
39:45
What one of those things that say Evie, she's just crashing,
39:50
just stealing, or she just disappears, just disappears, is
39:55
that eat me not nibble. She's like a rat.
40:01
Give me that, I'm over there. No, especially when I, when I'm
40:07
joking like everyone got a tiny little thinking.
40:09
That's like, besides my thinking we're talking about.
40:14
Rendition with Carol Channing OK and we see Ashley that live
40:19
action take give me out. Wow, OK dog, they made that.
40:27
Look so good. OK, moving on talking.
40:30
About the cookies. Back to the cookies.
40:35
Reminiscent of childhood trick or treating and Halloweens of
40:39
the of past, these Oreos will drum up plenty of nostalgia for
40:43
sentimental cancers to munch on. OK, Leo, Leo, you're fudge
40:48
covered mint Oreos I love. Those those are.
40:52
Delicious. Don't worry.
40:54
Delicious. I absolutely love those.
40:57
Went too far. Leo's love little flair.
41:00
Which is what it was, a fucking shit, that flat Raspberry.
41:11
Olivia, I'll fucking kill you. Good.
41:14
Leo's love a little flair, which is why they require a fudge
41:17
coating for their Mint Oreo, an already delectable pairing of
41:20
mint and chocolate. The additional chocolate
41:23
exterior is a testament to both Oreo's creativity and the
41:26
innovative mindset characteristic of ever evolving
41:29
Leos. Not one for normalcy, fudge
41:32
covered mint Oreos match the exuberant nature we celebrate in
41:35
Leo's. Everywhere.
41:40
OK Virgo, I'm going to get through this one.
41:43
Virgo, your Oreos, Oreo thins, dark chocolate flavored cream.
41:47
A decadent treat without overindulgence.
41:50
The double wrong. If you give me a pack of thins,
41:52
I will now eat the whole pack as opposed to instead of a sleeve.
41:58
OK, dark chocolate. I love dark chocolate.
42:02
It's a for you. Love dark chocolate?
42:06
A decadent treat without overindulgence, the double
42:08
chocolate combo is the perfect pairing for any headstrong
42:11
Virgo. Practical, meticulous and
42:13
reliable, these analytical thinkers will love the rich
42:16
chocolate cream and delicate cookie and can boast about the
42:20
health benefits of dark chocolate while digging in.
42:24
Roll the juice bucket. Have a stroke, Libra Libra,
42:28
you're a Jelly doughnut Oreo. I'm sorry, that was OK.
42:33
That sounds terrible that that wasn't.
42:34
Oh, that don't even. Look, that was a.
42:37
Limited vision. I bet it was I.
42:40
Bet it was. It should have been.
42:41
Very limited, easygoing and ever the diplomat, leavers don't like
42:45
to make waves in terms of their dessert preferences.
42:48
These level headed eaters would obviously go for a cherished
42:51
American pastry. The Jelly doughnut.
42:54
Yeah, and not the Jelly fucking doughnut Oreo.
42:56
Who's fucking the? No one quiet.
43:01
A golden cookie with the Jelly flavored center, these sunny
43:04
Oreos are a balanced bite of sweet and fruity, best shared
43:08
between sociable Libras by the dozen by the dozen.
43:15
Scorpio Scorpio, your chocolate hazelnut Oreo like a Nutella
43:21
Oreo basin. But it's the first one shat on.
43:30
Although the man ones, I like the man ones.
43:31
OK, moving on. Bold.
43:33
And the peanut butter. That's true, yeah.
43:35
Bold. You know what?
43:39
All of them. In fact, I think we've.
43:40
Only had on my bold. Chocolate Hazelnut Cream
43:45
Sandwich between two chocolate cookies delivers a Nutella like
43:49
delicacy, enough to excite the most strong willed Scorpio.
43:53
Fearless in the face of adversity and in touch with
43:55
their many emotions, Scorpios do not shy away from the impressive
43:58
undertakings. A tried and true pairing is
44:00
required to withstand such force.
44:02
Oreo's chocolate hazelnut more than weathers the store.
44:06
OK. All right, Sagittarius Key Lime
44:08
Pie. Boo.
44:12
Now the cookies. That should have been a mint one
44:15
for Christmas, but come on. Christmas technically falls
44:18
during Capricorn. I don't want to.
44:20
Talk to you, I. Don't want to talk about it?
44:23
More like Capricorn gossip. The cookie's a cookie's a Graham
44:31
cracker. It does.
44:33
It looks terrible. The taste of vacation.
44:37
Packed into a single. Bite Sagittarius can live out
44:40
their globetrotting dreams with Key Lime Pie Oreos.
44:43
Known to value freedom, friendship, and good vibes, this
44:46
tangy dessert encapsulates the best of the Sagittarius spirit
44:50
at a price more affordable than a plane ticket.
44:52
It is not I. 100% disagree. We go.
44:56
You We always talk about Sagittarius.
44:57
They're so adventurous. They want to do all these
44:59
things. Meanwhile, we go to the liquor
45:02
store, we get our liquor, and then next door we see wings
45:05
toys. On the left wings, looking out
45:19
and waiting at the. Story it is on the left.
45:21
Thank you very much. That little strip right there
45:31
had. At all that wings.
45:34
And barbecue. And it was actually wings and
45:36
barbecue and. Chinese food, it was like Asian
45:39
food, all kinds of. Different.
45:40
It was so good. And then ended up being.
45:42
But I go, we should go in there. And you were like, no.
45:46
It looks a little shady, a little sketchy.
45:49
And then we were in there, amazing food, and the phone
45:52
never stopped. That's how you know it's.
45:54
Good. They were busy.
45:55
The guy was super nice. It's a little little hole in the
45:58
wall place. And like you said, some of the
45:59
sometimes those little places have the best food.
46:01
And that's true. My dad always swore by that.
46:03
If you find a little dive somewhere, the food's always
46:05
I've lived. But honestly, here, here, this
46:07
was my reasoning. I had a concert to go to that
46:11
evening. I couldn't take really was
46:13
afraid to take a chance on eating something that was going
46:15
to make me have a massive bull out later.
46:17
So you know, I just well, let me tell you something change your
46:19
mind. That was my reasoning.
46:21
I wanted to make sure I was going to make it to the concert.
46:24
Honey, so I'm still free. OK, take a chance on BBQ with.
46:28
Wings, but the fruit was delish. Yes, Capricorn.
46:33
We are Oreo Thin Mints Thins, mint thins.
46:38
Not to be confused with Thin Mints.
46:40
They're thins mint dog. I ain't.
46:44
I got twice the amount of cookie and I you know I'm only getting
46:48
double stuffed, right? So what in the fuck you?
46:50
Guys like see, you guys like the double stuff.
46:52
I'm not afraid of the double. Stuff, Yeah.
46:53
You ever had a mega? Stuff too much, No mega stuff.
46:56
It's just a. It's just a package.
46:58
Full, it's just the 2 sizes. No.
47:00
And there's two cookies and then the thins and then the thins.
47:03
No, it's the thin cookies with faster amount of ice in there. 3
47:08
trays and it goes up and down. No, and three trays of Isaac.
47:14
And there's one cookie on either end of each tray, so you get 3
47:17
cookies. Just read the crap of corn.
47:20
They're calling it a crap of corn.
47:23
Skipping Aquarius, discipline and dedication are the names of
47:26
the game, no? Your name.
47:31
Changed discipline and dedication are the name of the
47:33
game when it comes to Capricorns.
47:35
Considered the most prudent of the zodiacs.
47:37
Correct. It makes sense the Capricorn
47:39
would be unlikely to maintain a massive sweet tooth.
47:43
Also true. A thin cookie with a less sweet
47:45
but no less delicious mint filling.
47:47
A match made in heaven for highly calculating Capricorns.
47:50
It's true. I really don't have a sweet
47:51
tooth. I'm more of a salty kind of gap.
47:54
Aquarius. Listen to slushy Aquarius.
47:57
Your firework Oreos. What the hell with popping
48:01
candy? You're the blow.
48:02
You're the. What is that called?
48:03
Bomb pop? The bomb pop.
48:04
No, no, it's I think there's literally pop rocks in the
48:07
icing. OK, now who see this is this is
48:09
what I wanted to talk about crazy inventions who invented
48:12
pop rocks and said here's you need some candy, but.
48:16
It's I want it to be like a gunfight in my mouth, this
48:18
candy. This candy is not is not good
48:20
enough just to suck on some sweet candy.
48:22
It's going to explode. In your mouth.
48:25
He said, he said, you know what? Sucking on candy gay.
48:28
You know what's not gay, but the candy explodes in your mouth.
48:30
That's. A man's candy, you know.
48:34
But if I put a cookie in my mouth, it bursts.
48:39
All over the place and. I eat a cookie to my mouth.
48:53
No. Wow.
48:53
I'll. Tell you what, burst with
48:55
whatever. No, Keep this in If I eat a
48:59
cookie and it bursts in my mouth, I'm suing everybody.
49:08
Why? Why our listeners?
49:10
Our listeners want to know. I'd sue.
49:13
I don't need to explain to a single thing I understand.
49:16
I would say I. Don't understand bold and?
49:19
Ambitious. There's no doubt.
49:20
There's no doubt that Firework Oreos capture everything
49:26
Aquarius, a classic cookie made special with the addition of
49:30
popping candies. This is popping.
49:32
Candies these. They can't say.
49:34
Pop Rocks, that cookie is going to explode.
49:36
They can't only go over the same pop wrongs.
49:39
These celebrity Oreos are just as powerful and independent as
49:43
their astrology counterparts. Along with their vibrant Oreos
49:47
and Aquarius is sure to add a burst of energy to any social
49:49
gathering. Pisces, your cinnamon bun.
49:51
Oreo, what the hell? I love cinnamon.
49:54
I love, I love cinnamon. I'm just like, huh, Spice this
49:58
guy here. Cinnamon Oreo.
50:00
Cinnamon bun. Cinnabun cinnamon in a bun.
50:04
I see it OK. Cinnamon bun It's got cinnamon
50:05
cookie Cinnamon often Often an outlet for others emotions,
50:09
Pisces are the epitome of comfort and compassion.
50:12
Oreos rendition of an ooey gooey breakfast pastry is like a warm
50:16
hug from a trusted friend or an anecdote in times of need.
50:19
A cinnamon cookie filled with a cinnamon bun flavored cream.
50:23
These Oreos have all the love with just the right amount of
50:26
kick to render you a spicy Pisces now.
50:32
This was the craziest podcast ever and Liv is I think not
50:37
allowed to be on the podcast. Anyway, oh I I say that every
50:39
single time. I bring character.
50:42
Thank you very much man. If I develop any more character
50:45
and I have a whole goddamn novel over here, mom, it's not my
50:48
fault that she decided to drop an album out of the blue.
50:50
I. Can't be long for this I.
50:53
Can't because you're thinking 1132 PM on on August 11th.
50:58
OK, it was 1232 elsewhere and 20 minutes on the East Coast and
51:04
20, if you will, who knows where it was.
51:07
And 20 minutes earlier, Tillerson had just announced at
51:10
12:12 the album. And here's the thing.
51:14
I saw it at 11:32. Boom.
51:15
I saw it. I then woke up at 4:00 AM.
51:18
Ashley had messaged it too. Hey, did you see this?
51:22
And then I got woke up at 6:00 AM.
51:24
You had messaged. I go, I'm now lose this number.
51:28
And then and then I got to work and I go, Nothing's bringing me
51:31
down. And boy, was I wrong.
51:36
What else you got? I know you got more.
51:38
You know what? No.
51:38
I know. We're on the road trip.
51:41
We were listening to K Pop Demon Hunters.
51:44
Damn straight, damn straight. It's like the number one album
51:47
right now. Yes, because if you haven't seen
51:50
K about demon hunters yet on Netflix, watch it.
51:52
It's adorable it's awesome animation beautiful story is
51:55
great. The music is incredible, so the
51:59
soundtrack is she's. Got a thesaurus right?
52:00
Definitely. Number one, dibs right now on on
52:05
mystery. Just saying.
52:06
Just saying. Yeah, we're at the freaking
52:08
Chili's. We're at the Chili's.
52:10
And Olivia and Sam asked me who's your bias?
52:13
And I go first of all, I wasn't 100% sure what bias meant but I
52:17
I. But I I do not know about that.
52:19
I figured it out. I figured it out.
52:20
And so I said Abby Saja. OK, because the Saja boys are
52:24
the is the boy group in the movie.
52:25
Saja boys are the demon. The demon boy.
52:27
Group whoa. Spoilers.
52:28
It's hilarious. It's hilarious.
52:30
I love. Them to the trailer.
52:32
Hunt tricks, is that it? Hunt tricks the girl group.
52:34
That hunt the demon. Yes, and and so the the one he's
52:38
his whole thing is just that he's very fit.
52:40
He has ABS and they called him Abby Abby Saja and I was like,
52:45
so my bias is obviously Abby Saja.
52:47
It's so funny. Though.
52:49
And then you're like, no, we bet the.
52:50
Girls, I meant all. Of them, but I'm surprised you
52:55
didn't have a girl bias. And oh, I had thought about it.
52:58
I think my favorite is Mira the Pink Haired 1.
53:01
I don't know who you're, I don't know who your bias is, but I
53:03
feel like you're a Zoe. I have my bias with Zoe.
53:06
Boom, got him. So you think, do you think I'm a
53:09
Mira and Sam's a roomie? I mean, based on like, not even
53:14
just like, you know what? That's true.
53:16
I think based on like aesthetic. Wise when we assign ourselves to
53:20
like trios, Abbys always gotten like the more like tougher this
53:26
character. The Awesome 1.
53:28
I wouldn't say that. And then Sam's got obviously
53:31
like the perfect center and then I've gotten like the brain dead
53:35
1, I think. I'm serious, you get the
53:39
Aquarius coated one, the one that's very bubbly, over the
53:41
top, very creative one like bubbles.
53:44
I tend to get like the leader or the like muscle is where I tend
53:52
to end up. So like like we assigned
53:55
ourselves the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
53:57
We assigned ourselves the like Pokémon starters.
53:59
So like Ashley is a Pikachu. We we decided, but you are.
54:05
Sam and I kind of found over Bulbasaur, but I think I've at
54:09
this point I was like, OK, I'm I'm thinking more of like a
54:12
water type Pokémon. Yeah, really.
54:13
Like you love turtles? Yeah, but I.
54:17
All I know is I'm Jigglypuff. I love Jigglypuff.
54:20
I completely unironically I love.
54:22
Jigglypuff. That's what I.
54:22
Said for saying I was like Sam doesn't even.
54:24
I feel like Sam fits more like the music type.
54:27
That well, we're we're talking just starters, but it so in the
54:30
starters, you you are Squirtle, Sam is Bulbasaur and I am
54:36
Charmander. OK, of course I am.
54:39
But then the teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
54:41
I think we fucking nailed. We said you're Mikey What?
54:45
I love Mikey I. Want to be.
54:48
Leo. No.
54:54
You're Mikey. Sam's I.
54:56
Think we switched. On Donatello, save Donatello,
54:59
save Donatello. And then.
55:03
Am I Rafael? I thought Ashley was RAF.
55:06
Oh, you think Ashley's RAF and I'm Leo.
55:07
I think I Yeah. So I So Ashley's.
55:10
Ashley's the muscle and I'm and I'm the leader.
55:14
OK, we could, Ashley. Ashley does keep you all in
55:17
line. For you, but I think that we
55:18
could have easily here's hear me out.
55:20
I think we easily could have made you Raphael, me, Mikey and
55:26
Ashley. Leo, you have been the muscle.
55:31
You guys have lost me at this point the.
55:33
OK, OK. And then, OK, now which power
55:36
puff curl are you? Are we Are you Bubbles?
55:39
Your bubbles, Your bubbles? She's always been bubbles.
55:44
And my Buttercup. Yeah, you were Buttercup.
55:46
I always thought that you were Buttercup.
55:48
Sam was bubbles and I was blossomed.
55:49
You know who I think is? But I think she's Buttercup now.
55:52
Yes, growing up for sure. Growing up, I was Buttercup.
55:55
Yeah, you have morphed more into bubbles.
55:59
When I wait a minute, I think not Blossom.
56:03
I'm not the leader. I think Sam's.
56:04
Dad is Bobby. Dad's Bobby.
56:10
'Cause he's like, I love my girls.
56:12
That's so Dad, Bob. You're going to have to go watch
56:17
this movie if you haven't watched again, listener, because
56:18
otherwise, dad, zero sense. Zero sense anyways.
56:25
I love that so much. We are.
56:27
That's exactly what it is. And Dad is Bobby.
56:29
Dad, Bobby's the manager. Hey, Mom's Guima who?
56:33
The fuck is? Guima, do you flame kid?
56:34
No, I mean a little Kitty. She's.
56:38
Been burned with. A hat.
56:39
She's the tiger. No, Ashley's the type.
56:42
You're right. You're right.
56:43
Yeah, it's just the right tiger. You're the you're the three eyed
56:46
bird with the hat. The.
56:47
Little tit mouse or whatever he is.
56:50
The Walmart, The Blue, the footed boobies.
56:55
Well, there's footed. Boobies.
56:56
There's and then there's and there.
56:59
Is brown something boobies? I'm sure there's all kinds of
57:03
colors of boobies. We don't need to get into that
57:06
right now. So listen, October's coming up.
57:12
Get your boobs checked. October's coming up.
57:14
Just did thank you firmly grasp it.
57:18
What are you telling us to do that right now?
57:20
How to do it? No.
57:21
Well, actually you can do at home mammogram tests.
57:24
Well, you can't do it because mammogram you don't have a
57:26
machine. If you need it literally if.
57:30
You spell need. With AK, there you go.
57:32
OK if you're looking. If you have lumps, it's most
57:36
likely in the upper outer quadrants.
57:40
OK, They split your boobies into Thor and it's usually closer to
57:44
your armpit in the upper quadrant if you have a lump
57:46
typically. But we can get you back for
57:50
October just. Saying ladies at home tests
57:55
check your quadrants. They could have a lump check
58:02
your quadrants I. Thought she was going to say
58:05
coordinates. I'm like what?
58:07
No, I'm not that dumb. Latitude.
58:09
Longitude. I left Jersey school.
58:11
I didn't get kicked out. I think we're going to have to
58:13
scrap this bug ass and start over.
58:16
No, I think we've been doing OK you.
58:17
Think so? You think we've been doing OK?
58:19
I don't think so. We have fun.
58:20
Here. Speaking of wheezing, I.
58:25
Was telling you over the phone, I'd point on some.
58:27
Funny animal videos because mom beats that shit up all the time.
58:30
I'm not going to apologize. It's hilarious.
58:32
Someone put half of a banana in front of a standard journal.
58:35
And you can see where this goes. The Snappy Turtle The Snappy
58:41
turtle jumps at the camera mom who is safe.
58:44
From the snippy. Turtle, because it's just on the
58:46
TV, jumps back and goes. Startled me.
58:52
I think all the air left my body.
58:54
I like she's like she's actively talking and saying I can't get a
58:59
breath, then you're going to kill me.
59:00
I'm passing out as she's saying this actually can't get a
59:04
breath. Then I'm like, I'm going to die
59:06
and this bitch says she can't get a breath.
59:08
In we kept we kept laughing. Then the whole evening we just
59:11
kept laughing and laughing. Saturday.
59:14
OK. OK, what happened Saturday?
59:16
Saturday. Saturday, I mean.
59:18
Morning, you're watching The Simpsons.
59:21
Yeah. But there was an episode of The
59:23
Simpsons on when we were sitting in the hotel.
59:25
Room and no one told me and then A and then a a bomb bomb threat
59:34
alarm goes off on The Simpsons. It's like in the like in the
59:37
episode yeah, Oh my God, like and they're like, oh, it's just
59:41
a it's just a test. They're like, OK, we got to go
59:44
down to our bomb shelter. They're like, Aww, man, we're
59:47
going to be in there for five hours.
59:49
Get your farts out now. Get.
59:50
Your. Farts out, now give me one more.
59:55
Well, the whole way there, Liv has serious beef with the
59:57
Cracker Barrel. She really hates the Cracker
1:00:00
Barrel. Which more in that on another
1:00:03
podcast. You'll have to get into why
1:00:04
you'll never catch. Me in a Cracker Barrel if you do
1:00:08
catch me cracker girl. I've gotten an ice pick lobotomy
1:00:11
and someone dragged me there. The only people who get ice
1:00:15
pickle lobotomy teeth. I got I just sticker T-shirt.
1:00:20
There was a sticker. I've got an ice lobotomy.
1:00:23
It's it's not. True, those dumplings are
1:00:27
delicious. That's why I got the ice pick.
1:00:30
Don't lie, I love. I love.
1:00:33
Their cornbread's terrible. Their cornbread is terrible.
1:00:35
That's a terrible cornbread. But their biscuits and apple
1:00:38
butter? Delicious.
1:00:39
But cuz how do you fuck up biscuits?
1:00:41
So, so you're saying every single time we would see the
1:00:43
Waffle House, I would do a little fist?
1:00:45
I'd be like yes, saw fisting. Cuz she likes them, no?
1:00:48
I love Waffle House, no. I love her.
1:00:51
Waffle House Every. Time I lean.
1:00:53
Come on, Eileen. Eileen.
1:00:54
Was her waitress, she was great, love her every but and we passed
1:00:57
the cracker. Barrel, which was like every 5
1:01:00
miles. Which was what?
1:01:02
Cracker Barrel? Cracker Barrel I.
1:01:04
Feel like we saw more waffle? Houses.
1:01:05
No, I don't. I don't.
1:01:07
So every time we would see a crack, I would see it.
1:01:09
I'd go Cracker Barrel. No, that's such bullshit because
1:01:12
I started that on the drive. There no, I know, but I mean
1:01:14
like after a while, after a while it became a thing where I
1:01:16
would. It was like a calm.
1:01:17
Response. I would usually see it first
1:01:19
because we're driving and I was in the front.
1:01:20
I'd go Cracker Barrel and then the backseat would go.
1:01:24
She's not going to say. It you would try to take credit
1:01:26
for a month. No, no, I don't know.
1:01:27
It's no, I fully, I didn't come up with this.
1:01:31
I just, I'm just saying that by the end of it, it was.
1:01:33
Cracker Barrel, kill yourself. Kill yourself.
1:01:36
That would yell. Kill yourself.
1:01:39
Which I probably. Shouldn't say on the podcast,
1:01:41
but we. Are don't actually kill yourself
1:01:44
out of Cracker Barrel. That's the cracker.
1:01:46
Because that's a sucky way to go out.
1:01:47
Well, don't do. That, or then you make a Cracker
1:01:50
Barrel's problem. We passed a truck that was
1:01:53
driving terribly and Liz says make.
1:01:57
Like a Cracker Barrel money. Let's just go ahead and make a
1:02:00
Cracker Barrel. That one got that one got me.
1:02:07
All right, Sorry again, listener.
1:02:08
I hope there's something we can save out of here.
1:02:10
I have no idea, but I don't. But you guys better this.
1:02:13
I'm gonna eat some. Serious beef and some serious
1:02:14
frappes. Bye bye.
1:02:19
Oh, bye.