Latest / Hustle Rebels: Burnout Recovery for Over-Achievers / Stop Fighting What You've Got — Work With It Instead

Transcript

Stop Fighting What You've Got — Work With It Instead · Hustle Rebels: Burnout Recovery for Over-Achievers

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the audio version of the weekly recharge.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: If you hobbled over here from the Hustle Rebels podcast, feel free to subscribe to the weekly recharge by joining the link in the show notes.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, if you're already subscribed, let's just hop right into it.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Stop fighting what you've got because the war has a cost and you've been paying it longer, then you probably realize.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: Some of the things that we're going to cover this week are my hair, my grief, and the moment I stopped fighting both.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Why Salt and Peppa Daddy is actually a masterclass in perception, the hidden cost of resistance, and it's not just frustration, how to flip the obstacle into the tool, this week's practice, which is the work with it audit, and toolbox Tuesday with the Hustle Rebels, is officially live.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Dr.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Howard Polanski wants to help you become a CFO, a cash flow optimizer.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Can we talk about my hair for a second?
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's thinner than it used to be, softer, falls out more than I would like in the shower, and for a while, every time I looked in the mirror, I had the same internal monologue.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: My hair used to be so thick, so long, so luscious, like I was narrating a eulogy for my own head.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then my hairdresser, my person, moved to the UK for love.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: I love her for that, but I'm also still grieving.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: Both things are true.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: She did give me the best possible handoff before she left.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: Shout out to Stephanie, who has genuinely been great.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: But we all know that it takes time to build that relationship, the one where she just knows.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Where you don't have to explain yourself, where you just leave feeling like yourself.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: And in the meantime, I'm sitting in the chair describing hair that I don't even fully recognize anymore, to someone who hasn't known me long enough to fill in the gaps.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: It almost feels like I'm starting over with a whole new head, except the head is also on my body that's changing with hormones that have shifted the rules, and I didn't get a manual for any of it.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: So new hair, new dynamic, a whole lot of resistance, and none of it was getting me anywhere.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: Here's what that resistance got me.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: Less than nothing, actually.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: It got me frustration every morning, a low grade sadness every time I caught a photo of myself from a gig, and zero progress on actually learning what my hair needs now.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't moving forward.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: I was just stuck in the before.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the thing about being stuck in the before.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't just cost you time.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: It costs you energy, mental space, and honestly, it starts to feel a lot like depression, anxiety, and overwhelm all holding hands.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Now, let me tell you about Nick, or those of you who are new, my boyfriend's beard.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: He grumbles about it.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: The gray, the way it's coming in.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: And every so often I hear him muttering about getting older, like it's something happening to him that he needs to fight off.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: Meanwhile, at a gig last week, someone talking to us called him a salt and peppa daddy in a full Boston accent, as if he was her next snack pack.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: And full stop.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: The audience doesn't always know that we're together, and honestly, I love it.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: I nearly fell over, not because it was just hilarious, but also honestly, same.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: I love that gray beard.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: It does something for me too.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Which I tell him all the time.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: And here he is, grumbling like it's a problem to solve.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: The thing he's been low-key mourning, that's someone's entire type, mine included.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: That gray beard that he wants to fight, it's working for him, whether he acknowledges it or not.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: That's the thing about resistance.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: We're often so busy fighting the new reality that we completely miss what it's actually offering us.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this isn't about embracing aging, so just stay with me.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because this really isn't about hair or beards or getting older.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's just the entry point.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: This is about what happens when you spend your energy fighting reality instead of working with it.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I see it everywhere, in myself, in clients, in the women that I talk to who are exhausted and stuck and can't quite figure out why.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: And it's because so much of their energy is tied up in resistance.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: Fighting the body that changed, fighting the career that shifted, fighting the relationship that's different than it was, fighting the version of themselves that showed up after loss or burnout or just time in general.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: And resistance has a tax.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Every single day you spend fighting what is, you are not spending building what could be.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: And then you fall behind, you pile on more overwhelm, and then you feel guilty about falling behind, which then costs you more energy, makes you more stuck.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's not a plateau, it becomes a spiral, and it all runs on resistance as fuel.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: So what does working with it actually look like?
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's a mindset shift, yeah, but it's also a practical one.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: My hair is thinner and softer now, okay.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: What styles love soft, thin hair?
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: What products are made for this particular texture?
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: Not the one I used to have.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: What if I got curious instead of combative?
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: Nick's beard is going gray.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: What if he leaned into it instead of fighting it?
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: Apparently the answer has just become someone's fantasy.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: Just saying.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: Could be mine.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Just saying.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: The career pivot that scared you.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: What skills do you already have that translate?
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: What does this new chapter actually need from you?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: And do you already have it?
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: The body after hormones shifted, after babies, after surgery, after stress.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: What does this body need to thrive?
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Not the old one, this one.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: See, the question isn't how do I get back to what I was?
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: The question is, what can I build with what I've actually got?
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not settling.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: That is strategy, and that is empowering.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: You see the difference?
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: So this week's practice is the work with it audit.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to pick one thing that you've been in resistance with: a body change, a light shift, a situation that isn't quite what you've planned or wanted.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: Something you've been low key or high key fighting.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to write it down and ask yourself four questions.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: One, what am I actually resisting here?
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Two, what has to change about my situation?
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: What does this new reality need from me?
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: And four, is there anything here I have been refusing to see as an asset?
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: Now, you don't have to love it, you don't have to be grateful for it yet.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: You just have to stop spending yourself fighting it and start asking what you can actually do with it.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: That's where the movement starts.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: And then this week on the Hustle Rebels podcast, in case you missed last week's solo episode, I break down why so many high performers tie their identity, worth, and sense of safety to their career, and why that can quietly lead to burnout, grief, anxiety, and a loss of self when that role changes.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: So does that sound familiar?
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: It should, because it's the same trap that we just talked about.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: Just wearing a suit instead of showing up in the mirror every morning.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: You can listen to it by clicking the show notes or in the newsletter that you've gotten in your email.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: And my next guest is going to be Aaron Tazell Parker, who has lived everything that I talked about in that solo episode as well.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: So you're not going to want to miss it.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: You're going to want to subscribe.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: And then Toolbox Tuesday is officially live.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm very excited about it to finally give you guys some tools and resources from vetted professionals that can help you.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: Dr.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: Howard Polanski has kicked off the very first Toolbox Tuesday, and it's a very good one, I promise you.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Howard is a former dentist who now helps families and business owners become their own CFO, Cash Flow Optimizer, using a very simple system that reduces debt payments on mortgages, car loans, student loans, credit cards, and no lifestyle overhaul required.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: If you've ever felt stuck on the financial hamster wheel, this one's going to be for you.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: The links also gonna be in the show notes or in the newsletter as well.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're new here, feeling nostalgic, you want to read a few previous newsletters, again, there's always going to be a bunch of links for you to be able to check out for some free resources and tools for you.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: As always, I appreciate you guys.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm always here if you have any questions or if you want to chat.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: Share the weekly recharge with a friend so that they can be regulated just like you.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: But again, if you have any questions, never hesitate to reach out.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: See you guys next week.