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External Interactions Provide the Seeker a Mirror to His Inner Characteristics and Traits · Sri Aurobindo Studies

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  What we see in others, in many cases is a mirror to what we
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  contain within ourselves. We understand what is taking
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  place because we are able to receive the vibration,
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  internalize it, and translate it into something that resonates in
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  our being. In Western psychology there is a
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  concept called projection, whereby someone projects on to
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  another person those traits, qualities, motives or actions
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  which one has within oneself, whether openly visible or
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  latent. For a spiritual seeker, this
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  provides us a marvellous opportunity to view ourselves in
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  this mirror, internalize the review and follow the thread to
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  the route that we harbor. This gives us the chance to work
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  on the issue within. We can then be grateful to the
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  grace that we are given the opportunity to see our
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  weaknesses and faults mirrored in others if we have not yet
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  gained the capacity for the inward view that allows us to
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  examine it carefully and completely within ourselves.
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  The technique of the separation of the witness consciousness
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  from the external nature is a powerful means for this inward
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  view. We gain the standpoint of the
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  witness who can calmly watch our own internal reactions and
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  responses as if they are external to ourselves, and we
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  can choose to support or withdraw support from those
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  movements. If we take up a critical
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  attitude and use our observation to try to control or change the
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  other person, then we are simply veiling the truth from ourselves
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  and instead of making progress, we are busy creating disruption
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  or conflict with others who may or may not see things the way we
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  see them. This is especially true for
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  individuals who have fixed ideas about what constitutes right and
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  wrong and who try to enforce these ideas on others who may
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  have a totally different view or level of concern on these
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  matters. Fioro Bindo writes quote.
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  Men are always more able to criticize sharply the work of
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  others and tell them how to do things or what not to do, then
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  skillful to avoid the same mistakes themselves.
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  Often indeed, one sees easily in others faults which are there in
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  oneself but which one fails to see.
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  The human mind is not really conscious of itself.
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  That is why in yoga one has always to look and see what is
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  in oneself and become more and more conscious not to judge
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  anyone but oneself until 1 can see things from a calm mind.
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  And a calm vital is an excellent rule.
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  Also, do not allow your mind to form hasty impressions on the
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  strength of some outward appearance, nor your vital to
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  act upon them. There is a place in the inner
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  being where one can always remain calm, and from there look
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  with poise and judgment on the perturbations of the surface
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  consciousness and act upon it to change it.
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  If you can learn to live in that calm of the inner Being, you
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  will have found your stable basis.
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  End Quote Reference. Srioro Bindu and the Mother.
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  Looking from Within, Chapter 2. Looking at Oneself and Others,
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  pages 42 to 43.