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An Unlikely Affair: Live from BottleRock (Part Two) · Untraditionally Lala

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Hi Amber, Hilelah, Welcome to an unlikely affair. Hi Babes,
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Welcome to an unlikely affair. Hello Amber, Hello La la.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: So I did a double dose of retine. Terry Debreu
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: would have my head on a platter right now, because
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: I got retine from Mexico at the pharmacy at the airport,
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: and I did two nights in a row pharmacia. Yeah. Yeah,
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: and the line was out the fucking door. It was
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: longer than going through security. When we get back to
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: the hotel. I need to thoroughly scrub my face. So
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: you know, your left side is drooping right now? What
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: do you mean? Wait, what do you mean the skin
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: or like I have a stroke?
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: Like can you imagine that's the side effect your left side? No?
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: I thought I stroked on the plane, you guys. I
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: thought I needed medical attention. I think it's just my sinuses,
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: you fucking bitch. Don't ever do that to me again.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: I'm profusely sweating. Anyway, I need to go scrub my
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: face because I was doing my makeup and then I
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: got close to do my eyelashes and I was like, oh,
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: I look like a lizard. I can't roll up it.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: Anywhere looking like that. It does not. Actually you know
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: what she do?
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: Just don't powder your face and let the natural oils
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: moisturize it.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: It's not how it works. Have you retinate at all ever? No,
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: actually I haven't. That's why you're saying the bullshit you're saying. Okay,
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: it works out. I need a warm washcloth in some oil.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: I've been retinall curious retine, bro retnee. What's rettinal? Retinall
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: is great for you, okay, renee curious.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: Retine is like it's really this is like a pure
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: dosage out of the tube. You know what.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: I started doing that on my knee caps. I have
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: this fear that I'm really ugly knee caps when I
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: get older.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: She's saw an ugly lip photo. I showed me her
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: knee cap. I'm like you, Nola doctor diamonds, and now
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: she wants her knee caps done, which Marisol from a
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: Real Housewives in Miami did her knee caps because someone
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: talked about her knee and now I have to have
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: knee caps surgery. Kneecaps are so weird.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: But I wonder if you put renee it kind of
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: lifts and tightens that skin. It's a terrible They're so gross.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: It's like one bad photo and she thinks she needs
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: her legs done. No, please, don't give me another complex.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: I just want a BBO. Well, we're gonna do that.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: By the way, there were a lot of bbls with
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: me the other night, and I was so jealous I
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: could barely stand it. Anyway, we have fan questions. You
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: want to read the first one? Babe? Yeah, have we
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: ever hooked up? Have we ever hooked up? No? We
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: have never. I kissed you on the lips a couple
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: weeks ago, but we've never like hooked up. And does
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: it say? Would you like number I? No? No, like
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: I find you very beautiful and attractive, but I number one.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: Let's just even say that we were still in our
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: drinking phase, like there's something about that just like shifts. No,
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: it changes everything. Have you ever hooked up with You've
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: never hooked up with a woman, right, I've never hooked
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: up with Okay, it's fine. All is good.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: How much does Ocean know about the origin of his
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: in parentheses part of an unlikely affair?
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: Well, Ocean's only five years old, so she knows nothing
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: about anything, and there obviously will be a day where
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: she's gonna have questions and I will answer them honestly,
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: But I'm never going to be the one to say,
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: sit down, we're going to have a talk. Like she's
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: just going to naturally, as she gets older, understand what happened, right, Yeah, Yeah, of.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: Course My kids definitely know because they was They were
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: old enough to.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: Be aware of what was going on. And then the
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: Internet and they know that he cheated on you with me.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: Wow. And do they have any thoughts you don't have
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: to share, by the way, do they have any thoughts?
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: I know? I think they just because I think because
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: the kids love you, they were like, oh, that's cool.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: I think London has a harder time with me because
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: of the way that I left. And at some point
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: I would like to have that conversation because I don't
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: want to be a part of any abandonment issue that
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: may arise in the future. And if you're.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: Okay with that, I would like to have that conversation. Yeah,
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: I would actually really like that. I think London, I
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: think she needs it. She needs London is my kiddo
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: that needs the reinforcement, not just she like It's like
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: you could tell someone you love them, but they need
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: to keep hearing it. I think London needs to have
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: that part like that stated yeah and that chapter closed
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: and going like okay, this is a new chapter that
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: we're starting, like I got you you know, yeah, Well.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: The other day you and I were in the car.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: I forgot where we were going, but that song Easy
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: on Me by Indel it came out. Oh and I
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: that is that was like still to this day when
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: I listened to it, but that was like the theme
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: song after I left, Like I felt that song was
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: to your kids from me? Is that strange? It's just
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: like what she said, so beautiful? That song is so beautiful.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: And when you played that for me in the car,
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: I was very emotional because the decision that you had
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: to make that day with your daughter. I understand that
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: as a mom. Unfortunately, the kids feel differently, right because
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: their perspective was just like you're in and then you're
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: out right and not fully knowing the story, and maybe
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: they will never until one day when they're a mom.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: But like, there's a there's a part of London's story
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: there that that.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: Can be a little bit acknowledged, right, And can I
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: tell you during that time. She would call me and
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: I was already in an apartment, and she would call me,
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: and I would pick up the phone and we would talk,
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: and then all of the sudden I couldn't I couldn't
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: call her anymore because he blocked my phone number on
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: whatever device you was using to get over Yeah.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: Anyway, next question, when will you girls stop being so
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: hard on yourselves for falling in love with he whose
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: name we shall not mention. You know, I think there's
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: a lot that goes into that, and it's hard to
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: not be hard on yourself when he's a part of
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: it's such a large part of the day to day
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: when it comes to your heart and soul, which is
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: your kids. Now, I'm not hard on myself for falling
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: for him. Do I wish that I would have been
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: more coherent? Yes, But on the flip side, had I been,
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: ocean wouldn't be here. We can go down that rabbit
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: hole all day. It's hard when people say get over
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: it or move on. I wish I had the luxury
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: that you had of never experiencing what I've experienced and
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: what so many women have experienced, because when you're left
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: with that kind of trauma, It is not that to
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: fucking move on from, and I don't think I'll ever
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: be able to move on even with all the amounts
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: of therapy on the planet. I will just have tools
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: to better cope. But I am a different person now,
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: and there are moments where I go into the world
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: and I pinpoint, I was not like this before this
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: happened to me, and I'm fucking angry about it.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean did that kind of experience and it
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: could be an array of experience. It changes you at
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: a cellular level.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: That you I love when you say that, what the
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: word or just that in general, when you say something
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: changes you on a cellular level, it's because I'm not
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: the same person. I don't know who.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: When I see pictures of Amber when I was twenty
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: one and pregnant, I it's hard for me to look
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: at photos of me holding my kids because there was
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: there's so much there that I just want to wrap
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: my arms around that twenty one year old Amber, or
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: even when I met the person when I was seventeen
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: years old, eighteen years old, I that was I just
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: don't know who that girl is. I don't know who.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: I had to literally like divorce that girl.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I.
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: Didn't bring and continue to bring that those those moments
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: of pain and what I was carrying, that emotional weight,
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: like I had to shed that weight in order to
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: create this new version of who I am.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I relate to that. What was the biggest fight
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: the two of you have gotten into since being friends?
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: We haven't gotten into a fight, And you know what,
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: I kind of feel like when I don't think we'll
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: ever get there. We may have a disagreement or definitely
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: not see eye on something I don't even know, but
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: I feel that you and I have the tools to
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: be able to come to each other, like like I
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: did the other day and say like, Okay, this is
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: what I was upset about, but I was able to
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: process my emotions and it wasn't what I was upset
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: about had nothing to do with you, But it's it's
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: an emotional maturity that I've I've worked really hard for
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: and it's not great every day. But I don't think
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: i'll like, I don't see.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: How I could ever be upset with you. And if
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: I am, I'm gonna say like that that fucking sucked.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: I didn't like that. I think people only have one
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: version of me, like when I do the podcast and
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: I talk about stories that my reality versus reality, and
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: they think the reality of who I am only exists
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: on the screen and the shows that they've watched. I
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: am fully capable of having a friendship where I can
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: come to you and say, you know this bothered me
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: or this hurt me, because this is a safe space
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: for me. I don't need to lash out at you
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: because I know that whatever we go through, your intent
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: is never to hurt me. And I know that I
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: don't need to put my wallup to the sky and
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: lash out and be aggressive to mask my hurt. I
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: can just like turn into a puddle with you. Yeah, well, you.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: Have that extra layer of friendship that I think that
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: I am so lucky to be able to see.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: Let's see, how do you show yourself love? Self care
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: and solo dates? Oh? This is a good one for
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: you because you are good. I'm a codependent. I moved
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: back up. Oh you move back to Oh got it?
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: Got it? How do you show yourself love masturbating? It's
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: my many fucking toys in my drawer. I know I
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: still have to order some. I really am so confused.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: I can't believe you only have one.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: No, but I actually don't even need a toy anymore.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: You use your fingers. I'm getting really good, exhausting really yeah,
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: my forearms well. I also don't want to get like that.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: It's like writis, Yeah, I don't want to get arthritis.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: I'm I'm practicing and what you just like rub it hard?
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: You want me to show you?
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: Sure? Come on?
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, wow Jesus, honest to God.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: The way I show myself love. I love taking a
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: hot bath and putting like baby oil in there so
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: that my skin's all smooth. I love doing a meticube
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: face mask that it has to stay on for a
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: minimum of like an hour. Love my oils. I love.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: Recently, there's this place in Bozeman called Umvelt, and it's
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: like a Japanese style spa where they have a cold plunge,
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: a sauna, a wet sauna, a dry sauna, and to
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: me that self care.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: I love that. I love that's also part of a
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: solo date. Yeah, that's great. I love that.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: I love going to a bar and sitting at a
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: barber myself and like even having conversations with random people
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: or the bartender or just reading something I love doing that.
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: Going for a walk, Yeah, going for a walk, going
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: for a wike, yep, to take myself on a hike.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: See, but you are in Bozeman where all of that
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: is so accessible. If I wanted to go on a hike,
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: it would be a fucking production. Oh yeah, you go
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: to Where where do I park? Oh? My god, there's
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: nowhere to park? Where are there so many people?
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: Why?
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: I don't understand trees here that people love? Do you
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: say white people plant so many trees? Yeah? Like, where's
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: the tree that's been here for one hundred and fifty
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: fucking years. Oh, I'll tell you. They're in Montana, So
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: come come out visit me. Tamer and I are gonna come.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: What is one thing about each other that you don't
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: think fans know yet? But should? Oh? Oh? I feel
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: like that is a really, really tough question because there
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: is just something that like Amber has that I think
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: you have to when like there's no podcast, Mike, there's
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: no phone recording us. We can tell stories about being
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: in the bath while you showering, us talking about boys
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: or being in the bed, but it's just something you
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: have to like be there and feel the energy to
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: know that it's like you're really fucking special. Wow, I'm
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: really lame. It's not lame. Yeah, I go from this
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: high fingerbang me to sobbing. I should look into that.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: I think you might be going through perimenopause or I
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: think I need just therapy. No, you don't need therapy.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: No. I I was so excited to see you.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: I was so excited to see you. I need these
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: little like talk about a drug, like where's la la?
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: I need to put the needle in. We just kept
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: calling each other being like I just need to get
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: to you. I just need to get to you.
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: And then by by the way, i'm the friends, I
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: haven't tracked you yet, like I need to be like
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: I need, we need.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: I would share my location with you happily, because I would.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: I never want to lie to you. Some people, I'm like,
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: I'm out of town. They're like, bitch, you're at your house. Nope,
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: out of town, but yeah. Our producer says, Amber's at
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: the spot. Your room's ready for checking. I hit Amber,
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: I go, We're not sharing a room. The fuck is this?
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I have withdrawals.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: I have a feeling someone's going to end up in
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: my room.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: Tonight, yesday, I have that and it's not going to
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: be a boy the way I'm looking might as well be.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: How do you both describe one another to people who
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: have never met you? How would you describe each other
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: in three words? Oh, I love this one. Soulmate, gosh,
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: I know three words, soulmate.
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: Rock.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: You are my rock and like safety and stability. That's
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: what I would describe you, like as our friendship that
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: I know you hit four two, Oh my god, fun
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: as fuck. One word fun.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: As fuck, all capitalized exclamation, exclamation, no badass thing, but
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: like badass. It's like one word not bad and then ass.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, totally iphonated so that I get to you more.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: By the way, I just want to make sure you're badass,
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: a big heart. You have a big, big, big, big heart.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: And fun. Oh I love all those. You're so fun.
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: You're so fun too.
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: I like lose track of time when I'm with you.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: People are like, are you sure you haven't hooked up?
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: No?
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: But I could do this all day. I could too.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: That is such Those last ones were hard for me
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: because it's just an energy, like when someone talks to
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: you about like your dearest friend, You're like I can't
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: describe them because it's just a feeling.
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: It's like I hope to find one day when people say,
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: like you know they're the one, You're like, yeah, I
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: just right, and I'm like you just met You're like yeah,
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: but I knew he was the one.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: It's like that's how I feel with us. Yeah. Now
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: we just need to find that same thing in a man.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: We will because you think my chaos and my meltdowns
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: and my spirals are really endearing because.
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: They are, Oh my god, I just want to just
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: it's like you flock back to me and you're like
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: a little baby bird.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: I'm like, who fucked with you? Anyway? I love you, guys.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: Amber loves you too. Thanks for lying. I love you.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to another episode of An Unlikely Affair.
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: We're gonna catch you next week Thursday, A nine pm.
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: Ye come bye.