Latest / Scotty and Abby UNFILTERED / You might cancel Abby after hearing why she ended it after one date....

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You might cancel Abby after hearing why she ended it after one date.... · Scotty and Abby UNFILTERED

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Tampa Bay's best music is Magic, 94.9. Finally, we are back.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Scotty and Abby unfiltered. A whole new episode after you
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: have traveled the world. I have been sitting here having
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  Speaker 2: so many questions, thoughts, wanting to know about your trip
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: to Italy that I cannot wait.
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  Speaker 3: What? Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: Scott's in this, like a typical office chair, and he
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: just lowered it. You just went from the third floor
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: to the second floor.
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  Speaker 4: Now I look like a little head in our video.
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  Speaker 4: That's so funny. Oh my gosh. Well, anyway, welcome back, Abby,
• 0:34
  Speaker 4: as I fix my chair.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Here I am.
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  Speaker 2: There's so many things we have to talk about because
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  Speaker 2: before you left, you went on a date.
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  Speaker 4: You went on a first date.
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  Speaker 1: Yes.
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  Speaker 4: We talked about it on the podcast. In the middle
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  Speaker 4: of last week, people got to hear that. Uh-huh.
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  Speaker 2: So I was looking at some of the comments from
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: that podcast. First off, You who comment on the podcast,
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: thank you.
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  Speaker 4: It's so lovely.
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  Speaker 1: Are these nice comments though? Yes.
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  Speaker 2: This one is so nice. And I'm not going to
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  Speaker 2: get to it until later. We won't even worry about
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  Speaker 2: the comment for right now.
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  Speaker 1: So you don't want to hear about my date. You
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  Speaker 1: just want to hear about Italy?
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  Speaker 4: No, no, no. I want to hear about both of it.
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  Speaker 4: Because I know you have so many things.
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  Speaker 1: So many things.
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  Speaker 4: There's been so much.
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  Speaker 2: What I love about a little bit of time is
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  Speaker 2: like you notice all these crazy little things in life happening.
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  Speaker 2: Like I had a moment over the past week where
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  Speaker 2: I thought I was about to get murdered.
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  Speaker 4: And I was like, dang it.
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  Speaker 2: We don't even have the podcast to talk about. So
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  Speaker 2: I'm going to have to put that off in the
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  Speaker 2: back burner. We have to first off, we got to
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  Speaker 2: get to the update about your date before we even
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  Speaker 2: get to Italy. Because before you went to Italy, you
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  Speaker 2: still had a chance.
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  Speaker 1: At love here. You guys saw Italy. It looked great.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, no. There's way more than the pictures can actually say.
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  Speaker 2: So let's get to this date, though, because on the podcast,
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: we talked about, ah, it's exhausting.
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  Speaker 4: Here we go. Another date. But he was a good
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  Speaker 4: looking dude based off of the photos.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, he fit everything on paper. And that's how the
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  Speaker 1: dating apps always go. And I'm really trying to be
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  Speaker 1: respectful about this one just because I think this might
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  Speaker 1: be my last. online date ever and you'll hear why
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  Speaker 1: I actually I'm a little worried I might get canceled
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  Speaker 1: for my experience on this date for my thoughts on
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: this date I'm gonna I'm gonna say something really controversial
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  Speaker 1: about the date and then I'm gonna backtrack like I'm
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  Speaker 1: gonna say my raw unfiltered feeling And then I'm going
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  Speaker 1: to backtrack as to why I shouldn't feel that way.
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  Speaker 1: And I'm going to apologize for feeling that way.
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  Speaker 4: I like that.
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  Speaker 1: So you know that I'm being self-aware about it.
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  Speaker 4: And you know what? Here's the thing. Because as you
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  Speaker 4: hear it, you might think, oh, my God, how.
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  Speaker 2: Could you say that, Abby? But I think for a
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  Speaker 2: lot of people, like, these are conversations. Like, this is
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  Speaker 2: literally just friends talking.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah.
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  Speaker 4: So think of it like that. And what I think
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  Speaker 4: you're about to say, like, people have said to me.
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  Speaker 1: So and I would be I would hate if he
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  Speaker 1: ever heard this ever. So I also just want to
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  Speaker 1: preface that, too. I go on this date because he
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  Speaker 1: fit everything on paper. And that's the only reason you
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  Speaker 1: really go on an online date.
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  Speaker 4: It's all you know about them.
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  Speaker 1: You see a photo. You think they're attractive. They have
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  Speaker 1: the right job. Is your chair okay?
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  Speaker 4: No, I've got to fix this thing. I feel like
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  Speaker 4: a little baby. All right, there we go.
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  Speaker 1: Now you're like. I'm just.
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  Speaker 4: There we go. Sorry.
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  Speaker 1: Is that the right height for you?
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  Speaker 4: Yes, my legs are a certain height.
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  Speaker 1: So yeah, he has a good job. He's my type
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  Speaker 1: on paper physically, the right age, the right height. I
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  Speaker 1: liked that he was not an over texter. It was
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  Speaker 1: very clear he was like wanting to text, text, text, text, text.
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  Speaker 1: But then when I didn't want to text, he picked
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  Speaker 1: up on it. So I appreciate him getting social cues.
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  Speaker 1: We he sets a time for the date. It's literally
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  Speaker 1: the day before I leave for my Italy trip. So
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  Speaker 1: I'm like, let's just meet for one drink. It'll be
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  Speaker 1: like a fun celebratory thing. We're going to Italian restaurants.
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  Speaker 1: I'm like, whatever.
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  Speaker 4: Might as well. It works out.
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  Speaker 1: And so then I go to this date. We set
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  Speaker 1: it up for we did end up going to Forbici.
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  Speaker 1: And lo and behold, there were not two chairs as
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  Speaker 1: I forewarned this man.
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  Speaker 4: Damn.
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  Speaker 2: So you even said that in the text leading up.
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  Speaker 2: You're like, I know this place is going to be packed.
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  Speaker 2: And he said at the time, he said on some podcast.
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  Speaker 2: He said he knew a guy.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, he knows a guy. So you go and you
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  Speaker 4: see the place is packed.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, the place is packed. So there was a good
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  Speaker 1: like 30 minutes, not 30. There's probably a good 15
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  Speaker 1: minutes where he was standing over me and I was
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: sitting down. But let me just set the scene for you.
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  Speaker 1: I'm going on yet another dating app date. And girls, guys,
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  Speaker 1: mainly girls, you know this feeling. It's like a humiliation
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  Speaker 1: ritual getting ready because You have all this hope in
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  Speaker 1: your heart that maybe this time it'll be different. And
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  Speaker 1: then when you show up and you realize it's not
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  Speaker 1: going to be different, it's like the most gut-wrenching feeling.
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  Speaker 4: How soon into it did you know? Immediately.
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  Speaker 1: So remember we were going down a list of all
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  Speaker 1: the things that could be wrong with this guy before
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  Speaker 1: I met him? Because you were like, oh, what could
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: be wrong with this guy? I said, oh, I'm going
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  Speaker 1: to find out.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, man.
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  Speaker 4: I'm trying to remember. What are the things that we said?
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  Speaker 1: You thought he was going to be a douche, I think.
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  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, okay. Like, he's, like, too
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  Speaker 4: good to be true. Like, something's off.
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  Speaker 1: His pictures are good. Yeah, like, maybe a snob.
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  Speaker 4: Mm-hmm. Snobby. Like, he looks down upon you.
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  Speaker 1: So, I go into the restaurant, and I'm like, oh, God,
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  Speaker 1: it's so crowded. If this guy's, like, a gremlin or
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  Speaker 1: a catfish, everyone's going to see. It's the other thing.
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  Speaker 1: It's like, I don't want them to see me on
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  Speaker 1: this date with this man if he's, like, a catfish. Like,
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  Speaker 1: I don't want them to think I chose to go
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  Speaker 1: out with this man. And now that I've been on
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  Speaker 1: so many dates and I know the bartenders listen, I'm like,
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  Speaker 1: they're going to listen. And if it's awkward, they're going
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  Speaker 1: to know how awkward it is. And I just don't
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  Speaker 1: like that.
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  Speaker 4: Oh, man.
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  Speaker 1: They show up. He stands up. He reaches out to
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  Speaker 1: extend his hand. And he says, hey, to me. And
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  Speaker 1: I immediately go, that boy is gay. And I really
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  Speaker 1: believe that.
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  Speaker 4: Okay.
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  Speaker 1: I have no other way to describe it other than
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  Speaker 1: an immediate gut feeling and just years and years of...
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  Speaker 1: gay stereotypes that I've witnessed to where I'm like, this
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  Speaker 1: is a gay man. Listen, could he not be gay?
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  Speaker 1: This is just purely off of my perception.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, you're giving... That's the thing. This is your experience.
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  Speaker 4: This is your thoughts. And this is also going down
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  Speaker 4: like how the rest of the date goes.
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  Speaker 1: So I immediately had this perception and I sit down
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  Speaker 1: and to me it felt... My gaydar was going off
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  Speaker 1: so strongly that I... kind of got mad and that's
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  Speaker 1: sort of been a a little bit of a trend
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  Speaker 1: on the last couple dates that I've been on where
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  Speaker 1: I'm just kind of like the date will go so
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  Speaker 1: so obviously wrong like the guy will be so just
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  Speaker 1: uninterested or unable to carry a conversation or he'll just
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  Speaker 1: leave in the middle of it and I like to
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  Speaker 1: think I'm a very sociable normal human but for like
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  Speaker 1: for the life of me for this date I just
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  Speaker 1: was so angry I could not rally my personality oh
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  Speaker 1: I was sitting there I was like I was so
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  Speaker 1: mad because I'm like, he feels so obviously gay to me.
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  Speaker 1: Like if I met him in the wild, I'd be like,
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  Speaker 1: this is a gay man. That's what I mean. That
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  Speaker 1: I'm like, why did you waste both of our times
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  Speaker 1: on this Thursday night? I put on an outfit. I
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  Speaker 1: drove across town. I was in St. Pete that night.
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  Speaker 1: And then I did the hair and the makeup. And
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  Speaker 1: both of us don't want to be here. You don't
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  Speaker 1: want to date me. I don't want to date you.
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  Speaker 1: Why are you doing this to both of us?
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  Speaker 2: Gosh, this is tough. Because like in my head, I go,
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  Speaker 2: Because I don't know what this guy looks like. I
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  Speaker 2: don't know what he sounds like.
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  Speaker 4: I don't know who he is.
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  Speaker 2: So this is all just me acting as if, you know,
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  Speaker 2: I'm the fly on the wall. I have been that
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  Speaker 2: person that has been like, there's a whole thing in St.
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  Speaker 4: Pete right now. Like, is Scott gay?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 4: There's a whole thing right now. Is it a situation
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  Speaker 4: like that?
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  Speaker 1: You're not. So if you're thinking, oh, is he like Scott?
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  Speaker 1: To me, you're flamboyant. This guy. And it's been, you know,
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  Speaker 1: two weeks at this point. Who can I compare him to?
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  Speaker 4: That's a good one.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, that helps. If I can think of a good
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  Speaker 1: comparison at some point, I will. But it was like
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  Speaker 1: the hand gestures. It was the tone of voice. I
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  Speaker 1: was just sitting there. I was like, it was so
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  Speaker 1: obvious to me.
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  Speaker 4: Is there a possibility maybe bisexual?
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: He could totally be bisexual, 100%. So that's the other
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  Speaker 1: thing that I have to backtrack on. Because I understand
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  Speaker 1: how this sounds. Do you know what I mean? I understand.
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  Speaker 1: And so that's why I wish I could draw a
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: comparison of somebody in pop culture. Maybe like I feel
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: like Antony from Queer Eye is almost too straight passing,
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  Speaker 1: but sort of that similar vibe to where maybe even
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: a little bit more fruity than Antony. I really wish
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: I had like a good a good comparison.
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  Speaker 4: But you used to saw him. You met him. You
• 8:24
  Speaker 4: talked to him.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: You're like, I mean, it was immediate. Yeah, it was immediate. Yeah.
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: What do you all, like, because you're sitting there, obviously.
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  Speaker 2: You're sitting at the bar. He's towering over you.
• 8:34
  Speaker 4: Is it obvious that you're not feeling it?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, 100%.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: Like, how did the conversation go where it's like, where
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  Speaker 2: do you go from here?
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  Speaker 4: Because now you've got to sit through a drink.
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  Speaker 2: I know.
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  Speaker 1: Well, we talked for maybe an hour. I mean, I was...
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: Here's the thing. Once that wine came out, I was like,
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: bring it. Bring me the wine.
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  Speaker 3: Damn.
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  Speaker 1: It was one of those things. I was like, wine, wine.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: And so, after two drinks, I think I was kind
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: of like, fuck it.
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: But.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: I'm sitting here like rehashing how I felt to where
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: I was just, my overarching feeling was anger. Again, because
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: I think I go on so many of these hinge
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: dates and I've gotten to a, I've kind of gotten
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: to a burnout point. And some of these dates to
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: me just feel so obviously wrong. Guys not being interested
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: on the date and just being very obviously uninterested. And listen,
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: it's not like every single date has been like this.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: I talked about two weeks ago, perfectly fine coffee date.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: So it's not like, People are going to be like, well,
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: if every date's wrong, maybe you're the common denominator. But
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: not some fine dates. But this one was so bad. Like,
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: it was so bad. Gosh.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: So even, I feel like at a certain point, you're like,
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: all right, you know what? You're just going to be
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: a best friend at a certain point with a conversation.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I think I even tried to work into the conversation,
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: live your most authentic life at some point. Like, I
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: don't know if he was trying to, like, virtue signal
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: that he knew that I knew.
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  Speaker 3: Oh, really?
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  Speaker 4: Do you know what I mean?
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  Speaker 1: We got to a point where he was talking about
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: his job. He's like, yeah, I kind of just want to, like,
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: quit my job and be a surfer. And I was like, well,
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: do you surf? And he goes, no. And I was like,
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: are you going to learn how to surf? And he goes, oh, maybe.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: And then I was like, is this code for something?
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you trying to like underlie something?
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: I was like, does he know that I know? And
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: so he's sitting there and he's talking about his surfing dream.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: And I just look at him and I go, well,
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: you know, if you really feel like you're into surfing,
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: I think you should just stop.
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  Speaker 5: Stop.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: Stop pretending and live your most authentic life.
• 10:21
  Speaker 4: Gosh, this is so tough.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: And he goes, you know, I think I should. And
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, I think you should too. And
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: so I was like, do we both just agree that
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: you should come out on this date?
• 10:33
  Speaker 4: You both like handshake, walk each other's different ways.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: I was like, should we make your Grindr profile on
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: this date? I don't know.
• 10:40
  Speaker 4: If that would have been how it ended, that would
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: have been absolutely nuts.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: But I was sitting there. I was like, how do
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: I work this into the conversation somehow? Because I'm like,
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: I want. I want to put it out there that
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: if I am his beard for the night, I want
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: him to know. I want him to know that I know.
• 10:53
  Speaker 4: And it can, because it's like, it's two ways.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: I can look at it like, if he's on his
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: journey of coming out and living that truth, from all
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: the friends and stories that I've heard, that is a
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: journey that you must take on your own.
• 11:04
  Speaker 4: It's hard. Everyone does it at different paces.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: And, don't put somebody through a date that you think
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: is going to like, you know, you Again, like you said,
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: you get all ready, you take the time, you have
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: the energy, you go across the room.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it felt insulting, if I'm honest with you.
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and that's very valid for you to say.
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: And I will also say, because I know there's somebody
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: hearing this right now, like, Abby, come on, you've got
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: to give somebody... The frustrating part is you're hitting your
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: head against the wall every time. You know the feeling,
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: and I know if you're married, your person's your person.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: You saw them and you're like, got it, got it.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: And that's the burnout part where it's like, how many
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: times am I going to hit the head against the
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: wall before something finally clicks? And this would be a
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: moment where it's like, you know, as soon as you
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: see them, you know, you're like, Even if they weren't
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: gay or weren't bi, you just know it's not a
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: clique at the end of the day.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: Regardless, it was not a clique whatsoever. Because again, I
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: talk all the time about how I want a gritty man.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: I want a man who's a little dark, a little
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: rough around the edges. And so naturally, Antony from Queer Eye,
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: you know.
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: Not your type.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: Not necessarily my type. Yeah, and so I feel bad.
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: I would be.
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  Speaker 1: Mortified if he ever heard this, especially if he wasn't
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: either bi or gay or pan or whatever label you
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: want to use for him. Because I'm like, that's such
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: an objectively horrible thing to just make a stereotypical judgment
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: about it. But yeah, I just instantly knew in my
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: gut that this was not a match regardless. And I
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: think I sat there, I'm like, I think I am officially, officially,
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: officially done with the apps.
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: I think so too. Because it's the first date part
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: that's like, that's the part that sucks. How many first
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: dates do you must go on? Because the way I
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: look at it through.
• 12:37
  Speaker 4: The lens is.
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: How many random hangouts do I not have with people
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: that I'm never going to see again?
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: That's what I mean. There's just so many to where
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I need screening calls at this point. We
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: got to do a Zoom meeting. We need it to
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: be recorded. I got to send it to the group chat,
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: get their opinion on it. But yeah, it wasn't great.
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: It should also be noted that one of my biggest
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: fears is marrying a man who's secretly gay.
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: Which I know sounds like an outlandish thing. fear to
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: have or just like kind of like that's never gonna
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: happen i know two people who recently got divorced.
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: I've actually yeah i've met i just saw another person
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: on my instagram and she's an amazing woman but i
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: remember meeting her and her husband and i'm like oh
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: cool they're cool maybe we'll hang out and i just
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: saw on instagram i was.
• 13:19
  Speaker 5: Like oh she has a wife now yep mazel tov
• 13:22
  Speaker 5: congratulations but i think the fear comes in like what
• 13:25
  Speaker 5: would suck is like you fall in love with somebody
• 13:28
  Speaker 5: you grow this life together you and all of a
• 13:30
  Speaker 5: sudden it's like by the way, I've been hoarding this
• 13:32
  Speaker 5: secret for a couple years and we gotta leave.
• 13:33
  Speaker 4: We gotta separate. You're like, what? I just get bamboozled?
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: I got boozled. It hits on all my biggest fears
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: of being manipulated or putting a lot of effort into
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: something that wasn't ever really real.
• 13:44
  Speaker 4: That's the part.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: I think it would also be incredibly violating to be
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: physical with someone who doesn't really want to be physical
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: with you. I think that would be really bothersome. And so, yeah.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: So maybe it should also be noted that, like, this
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: is something that I keep in the back of my
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: mind on every date. I'm like, could this guy be?
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: But this one was, like, so apparent that the second
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: I sat down, like, I literally couldn't hide it. I
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: was like, I need to stop doing this to myself.
• 14:08
  Speaker 4: I'm impressed that you sat through an hour.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: I was impressed with myself, too. I'm not going to lie,
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: because I didn't even last with the guy who was
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: uninterested at Good Fortune.
• 14:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah. So you went to the Forbici in St. Pete?
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: No, the one in.
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: Oh, in Tampa.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: In Hyde Park.
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: Oh, okay.
• 14:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That sucks.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: I mean, it does.
• 14:23
  Speaker 4: And I think that is a good sign to be like,
• 14:25
  Speaker 4: I'm going to take a break and just go out
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: and just live. Just live.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: Do things.
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: See random people you meet and about. Because then you
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: get a quick vibe. You're at a bar and it's
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: a random group of people and you're talking. Maybe there's
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: a vibe and there's something to go into.
• 14:37
  Speaker 4: And I know you've done that. Yeah.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: But it's like the first date part on the app.
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: That feels like you're just bleeding.
• 14:43
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: And I think also I'm having a conversation with myself
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: that I know a lot of high achieving women are
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: having where it's kind of like at what point do
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: you stop kind of opening up your hands, expecting something
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: to fall into it. Cause I've said this a million
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: times where I'm like, I grew up thinking at 26,
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: you got your government issued husband. Like, like that's just, yeah.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: Like you just like go to a bar and you
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: find someone and you go, that's my person. And I'm,
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: I think a lot of women are coming to the
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: realization that there's just not enough inventory for all of
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: us to get that. And so at what point do
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: you just stop making it a part of your life?
• 15:17
  Speaker 4: That's, Ooh, that's a deep one.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess it's, you stop putting it as, and
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: I've seen so many women say this, where it's like,
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: I'm just gonna take a break and work on myself,
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: and then whatever happens, happens.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, I'm not gonna go forward of just
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: trying to make things happen. Like, if a random thing
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: pops up, all of a sudden I'm out and about,
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: and I have a connection, I'm like, oh, maybe I'll
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: lean in.
• 15:36
  Speaker 4: I would say yes. Like, if you got asked out,
• 15:38
  Speaker 4: you'd say yes.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: But it's not like you're gonna continue throwing yourself at
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: the apps and be like, somebody, please.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: Please love me.
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: No.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: Please be straight and love me.
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: God.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: Please be straight, like me, and love me, and have
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: a job.
• 15:50
  Speaker 4: And have a job, and be good enough.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: And be good enough, yeah.
• 15:53
  Speaker 4: Interested enough. That makes sense. I think that is a
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: good time to be like, you know what? Pause.
• 15:57
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 15:58
  Speaker 4: Pause for a little bit. Pause.
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: So I'm off the apps. I just deleted it off
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: my phone, so I think my profile's technically there. Because
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: I'm like, if I delete it again, and I decide
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: to get back on it, it's going to be such
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: a hassle to make a profile again.
• 16:08
  Speaker 4: I'm trying to think, though, because if you want to...
• 16:11
  Speaker 4: Let's just have a little fun with this for a second.
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: Because if you want a gritty guy, somebody that's obviously
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: a little more.
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: Something that's able to go pound for pound with you.
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah. in my head and my soul, I just feel
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: like you do have to change up locations in Tampa Bay.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: So I don't know where to go. That's the problem,
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: is I don't know where to go.
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: I just think of the gritty places in Tampa Bay. Like,
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: if I was to look at, like, more gritty areas
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: of where some more gritty men would be.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: You mean when you sit on a street corner at Ybor?
• 16:35
  Speaker 4: That's right. No, no, no, no.
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: But when I see it, it's more of, like, a
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: personality trait. Do you know what I mean? It's not
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: like I need some guy who, like, lives in a
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: box on the side of the road. Do you know
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: what I mean?
• 16:43
  Speaker 4: I was thinking, like, more like holding an axe and, like,
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: is able to cut down a tree.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: No, I'm not even really talking about, like, just that
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: I think it really is just a personality type.
• 16:52
  Speaker 4: Do you know what I mean?
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: Like just somebody who has a very similar, cause I'm
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: not chopping wood.
• 16:57
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean?
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: Like I'm in a corporate office building in Tampa, Florida
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: right now.
• 17:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: So I think it's just kind of like, I don't know.
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: I think I'm just giving up. I think this is
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: just my official, um, eulogy to expecting that romance will
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: ever be a part of my life.
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I could understand why that thought would be there.
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: Of like, it's exhausting.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 17:20
  Speaker 4: And I understand that it's like wanting to take a break.
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: As you should. I'm not going to sit here and say,
• 17:24
  Speaker 4: oh my god, keep going.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: No, but I don't know that it's a break. I
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: think I am just giving up.
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: Giving up on love completely?
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: I think, I know genuinely. Because I think a part
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: of the pain of it is like expecting it to happen,
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: hoping it's going to happen, thinking it's going to happen,
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: and then it doesn't. And so I think if you
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: just like give up, you can at least remove part
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: of the annoying part of it.
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: Hmm.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: That's tough because my head goes, this is where it's
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: just kind of fun to like personality types.
• 17:46
  Speaker 4: My head goes the opposite.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: Like I had a buddy and like a year ago,
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: he was like falling over, head over heels over this
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: woman and she didn't want to be with him like
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: at all. And I remember talking to him because he
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: was heartbroken. He's like, am I ever going to find
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: somebody again? Am I ever going to have that feeling again?
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: And I said, my belief is, and this doesn't have
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: to be your belief, but my belief is that everything
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: that's happening to us is leading us to where we're
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: supposed to go. Like if it's not working here or
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: in this case, if it feels that good and it
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: doesn't work, That means there's even something better down the line.
• 18:14
  Speaker 4: And I don't know when, I don't know how it's
• 18:16
  Speaker 4: going to happen.
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: But my belief is that every door that closes, every
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: frustration is because there's something so great that it just
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: can't happen right now.
• 18:23
  Speaker 4: It wouldn't line up.
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: And we've all gone through different weird heartbreaks at different
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: points of our life. Like for some, it's trying to
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: find the right match. For my own, it's going through
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: like trial and error of going through relationships and being like,
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: you know, some people would say wasting time. I say, no,
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: like getting a timeline right. Or it's things didn't work.
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: Heartbroken was happened. feeling like you're just not in alignment
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: with who you're supposed to be with, then all of
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: a sudden the timeline's like, finally, let's line up. You've
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: had to go through those experiences for it to actually
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: line up. Because I will say, again, the break is warranted.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: It's not a break. I think I'm literally giving up.
• 18:58
  Speaker 4: I think, if anything, the one thing that would make it.
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: Worth it is when that person does pop up, all
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: these experiences are now what you look at and be like,
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: I'm so grateful I found you. And that sounds crazy.
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: It does sound crazy to say to someone that's like,
• 19:16
  Speaker 4: I'm giving up on this.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I mean, it's just kind of like, I
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: think at some point, and then really the conversation, like
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: I said, that I'm having, that I think a lot
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: of women are having is like, it might not happen
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: for you. So like, that's a beautiful sentiment. And I
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: appreciate that for sure. But some people are just not
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: going to get that. And so maybe everything... not lining
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: up or working out is maybe just a sign that
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: like this is a part of your life you're not
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: going to succeed in maybe there's other areas of your
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: life that you get to experience that other people never
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: will And maybe that part of your life just isn't
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: for you. I don't know.
• 19:54
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I guess we don't know. We don't know what tomorrow.
• 19:56
  Speaker 4: Do you ever think you're like you're just too young
• 19:58
  Speaker 4: to say that, though?
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, but I could also get hit by
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: a car tomorrow. I mean, like maybe like someone else
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: is getting spared from. some kind of tragedy I'm going
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: to be involved in.
• 20:08
  Speaker 4: Do you know what I mean?
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: So, I don't know.
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: Well, I read this comment to you because this today
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: is a good way to like, we'll finish out this conversation.
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: Go to the things that you're doing for yourself with Italy.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Italy, yeah.
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: But Amanda said on our last podcast, she says, Abby,
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: I totally understand being burnt out on dating, but girl,
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: you got this.
• 20:26
  Speaker 4: You never know. Have fun. Treat it as it could
• 20:29
  Speaker 4: be the best night ever. This was for the last date,
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: which we heard how that went.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: But I will say, she said, which I know you do,
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: That was certain ones, but hey, what's it hurt to
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: think this may be the guy? Let's take the last
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: date out of the situation moving forward. Amanda said, can't
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: wait to hear the stories. Maybe a new love story?
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: And I also wanted to let you know that I
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: never got, I never found the one till I was
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: married at 36.
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: Oh, hell yeah.
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: We are still together, several years of slow dating, but
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: I thought I'd never find the right one.
• 21:06
  Speaker 4: No.
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: So what I say in the comments like Amanda's is
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: it is wild because I've had friends the same kind
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: of situation where it's like well into their 30s does
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: the right person pop around and it's like.
• 21:15
  Speaker 4: Holy crap.
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: What?
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: Where did you come from? They were going through their
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: own experiences. You were going through yours. And I think
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: that just comes with like, all right, you just do
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: you do you live life and forget these apps.
• 21:29
  Speaker 4: And also it is hard.
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: Like I will say for so many people that live
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: in Tampa Bay and Tampa, I don't know. And we've
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: talked about it so many times. The pool is small.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: The pool is small.
• 21:38
  Speaker 4: And it is not great. And there's... The fish are sickly.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: The fish are dying in this pool. This is a
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: sewage pond, which I know, you know, the ponds aren't
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: great everywhere.
• 21:50
  Speaker 4: Not everywhere, I know. But it is.
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: Like, we're in a weird time for especially women trying
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: to date guys and trying to find good ones.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 21:57
  Speaker 4: Like, check boxes. And, again, like we've always said, like,
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: don't lower the standard just because they don't reach it.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: This is the first time in history women are dating
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: for character. And the men are failing.
• 22:09
  Speaker 4: The men need to step up. But that is true.
• 22:11
  Speaker 4: And I've always said that and I'll continue to say that.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: That's a dissertation that I won't get into because it's
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: already depressing enough.
• 22:17
  Speaker 4: Well, we didn't need the update. And it's also, you
• 22:20
  Speaker 4: know what? Now it's just Abby's off to her adventures.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: I'm not homophobic. I just don't want to date a
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: gay man.
• 22:25
  Speaker 4: I think you're okay with saying that.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: No, I know, but I can just already see there's
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: going to be one comment.
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: That's like, how dare you make an assumption of someone's
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: sexuality based off of the way they move their hands
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: and the way they dress and the way their head
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: tilts and the tenor of their voice.
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: I mean, I think if you have the comments, bring them.
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: I'd be happy to talk more about it and also
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: bring all the other sides. One of the things I
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: also thought when you went off to Italy after this date,
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: I was like, who knows? Maybe this date's crap because
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: The guys in Italy are romantic. Like when I went
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: to Italy the first time, I remember getting a pizza
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: and like the bartender himself.
• 23:00
  Speaker 4: I was like, damn it. Like you're well-spoken, better looking
• 23:05
  Speaker 4: than any dude in Florida. What the hell? You're just
• 23:08
  Speaker 4: over here like making some delicious pizza. Let's go to Italy.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a lot of hot people in Italy.
• 23:13
  Speaker 4: So walk us through. How did the Italy trip go?
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: Well, Italy, I mean, it might be the least dramatic
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: trip I've ever been on because I host girls trips
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: and this is my sixth or seventh. I can't remember.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: And there's always some kind of saga or drama or
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: reality show-esque storyline that kind of coincides with some of
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: the things that happened on the trip. But this was
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: just such a chill, low-key trip. Like, it really was
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: just an exceptionally beautiful place with a chill group of
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: girls dicking around, eating pasta, pizza. And maybe it sounds boring, but, like,
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: really nothing crazy happened. Like we showed up, we went
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: to our reservations, we had a beautiful day on the ocean.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: I will say, because I'm like, I always tell people,
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: I'm like, one of you is going to have a
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: foreign makeout. I was like, I don't know who it's
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: going to be. One of you will pop out of
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: somewhere with somebody. And I think there were two romantic storylines,
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: but the one I'll tell you has to do with,
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: and I'll just call her Emily. Okay. With Emily. Emily
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: quit her job. The day before she left for Italy.
• 24:24
  Speaker 4: Holy shit.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: She recently finalized a divorce. She quit her job and
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: she showed up to Italy with one of her friends
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: for this girl's trip that I was running.
• 24:32
  Speaker 4: That's wild.
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: At Girls Gone Getaways on Instagram. So there were 12
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: girls on this trip. And our first day we went
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: to this wine tasting at this restaurant called Verasa. I
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: think it's a Greek restaurant, which is random. I think
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: Barasa stands for smoke, and that'll be important later.
• 24:51
  Speaker 4: But it's this.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: Gorgeous restaurant on like a hilltop with a vineyard behind it,
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: string lights, super, super beautiful. And we're having this wine
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: tasting with me and some of the other girls, and
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: it's very obvious that we all think the sommelier is
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: super hot.
• 25:06
  Speaker 4: Oh, my God.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: The problem is at the end of the wine tasting,
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: we find out that not only is he the hot,
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: young restaurant owner of this very successful franchise in Sorrento,
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: He is married.
• 25:18
  Speaker 4: With a baby.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: Oh, okay.
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 25:19
  Speaker 4: Goodbye.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: But he goes, you guys need to meet my younger brother. Oh, my.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: And so he shows us a photo of the younger brother.
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: And he said, you guys should come back on Wednesday.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: I'm going to bring my younger brother, who's my business partner,
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: and a bunch of his friends. And so we show
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: up that Wednesday. Wednesday was our free day. And they
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: set up the most beautiful garden outdoor dinner under the
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: string lights with food and wine and appetizers and steak
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: and pasta. I mean, it was insane. Insane.
• 25:47
  Speaker 4: They literally hooked it up.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: All served to us by this man, tall, six foot
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: five Italian man who, you know, married with a baby
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: wearing his slutty little architecture glasses. But he brings his
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: fun loving younger brother with like this big hair. We're
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: kind of jokingly calling him Jesus because he looks kind
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: of like a whitewashed Jesus painting from the Roman days.
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: Oh yes.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: And so his name is bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop.
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: It was very clear that Emily and bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop,
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: bloop had a little bit of a vibe going because
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: after we had dinner, we go to this cocktail bar
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: and we're all having like fun as a group. And
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: then they're just in the corner, like he, he, he, he, he.
• 26:24
  Speaker 4: Oh, they just left the group, just started having their
• 26:25
  Speaker 4: own conversation.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: No, I mean, they were in the group and they
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: were just like, he, he, he. So finally we're all like,
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: we're going to go. And so they're like, we're going
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: to stay. And I see her the next morning and I've,
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: There's been a lot of romantic liaisons that have happened
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: on these foreign trips. So when I saw her, I
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: was like, hey. And she goes, you know what? We
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: just walked around the city. We made out a little.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: Bopped around. Went on his Vespa. Like very sing for me, Paolo. Yes.
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: Got home at 4 a.m. And now I'm here. And
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh, how are you feeling about it?
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: She goes, it was fun. It was a fun little adventure.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: And what I loved about this specific group of women that.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: I took note of because every group is different and
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: there's always some kind of like overarching theme. And for
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: this group, the overarching theme was a lot of these
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: girls had been divorced at the same age.
• 27:12
  Speaker 4: Oh, wow.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: Which is so crazy because it was like a young age.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: They'd all been divorced. Some of them had men that
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: they were married to that turned out to not be straight. Oh. Allegedly. Okay.
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: And so there was like kind of just this very
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: beautiful camaraderie of women of just like, we just want
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: to have a damn good time. And whatever that looks
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: like for you, we're just going to have a really
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: good time because I've just quit my job. I just
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: finalized my divorce. I'm starting a new job next week
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: or this is the first time I'm solo traveling. And
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: I just loved this group of women for their independence
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: and their veracity and their just willingness to say yes
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: to things that. I just felt so inspired by them.
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: I was like, you guys are just the coolest. Everyone
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: here has their own story, their own storyline that they're
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: living through. And I love that this trip got to
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: be a central part of it, of just catapulting you
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: to whatever you want to experience this week.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I love that because you could see them
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: just putting themselves forward. So many people that I see
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: get married at such a young age, and this is
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: not any sort of diss towards somebody that gets married young,
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: but I see a lot of people just put away
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: their wants, their dreams, their desires, because they're just trying
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: to make someone else's dream a reality. And I understand
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: that a partnership, it's not always 50-50. Sometimes it's 20-80.
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: Sometimes it's 30-70. And you're going back and forth with
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: who is going to be the one supported the most.
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: But so many times, I see a lot of women
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: put their dreams on the back burner. And they just
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: do everything they can to make their partner happy. And
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: then you get to a point where you're like, the hell,
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: this is my life at the end of the day.
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: What am I doing with this And what I do love,
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: and it's sad, it's hard to quit a job or
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: go through a divorce, but I do love that the
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: women that do it and they decide to do it
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: at even a younger age where they get that life back.
• 28:56
  Speaker 4: And you can see it. It's like they're rejuvenated. It's hard.
• 28:58
  Speaker 4: It's a lot of heartbreak in that journey.
• 29:00
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: But now you're seeing these women that are like, I
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: get to have what I want. And now really move
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: forward and create that full picture.
• 29:07
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: And just have a night out of just fun.
• 29:09
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: Of just letting loose again for probably been years since
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: they've been able to do something like that.
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: The only thing that was on my mind was pasta
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: and where am I getting my next Aperol Spritz? Which surprisingly,
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: the Aperol Spritz is in Italy. Not that great.
• 29:19
  Speaker 4: Oh, that's a hot take.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: I will say that was the one letdown of the
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: trip was every time I ordered an Aperol Spritz, I
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: wished I hadn't ordered an Aperol Spritz because I'm like,
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: this is horrible. But I saw this quote that I
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: shared on my Instagram a couple days ago. And maybe
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: I'll reshare it again for when this gets posted. But
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: it was something about how traveling affects your psyche. Okay.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: I think it's so true because I always feel like
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: I have just a lot of really great revelations when
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: I go away for these trips and I go away
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: for a week and I live in this alternate reality
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: but basically this quote said oh we're getting a phone.
• 29:54
  Speaker 4: Call maybe everyone wants to talk to us.
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: Hey, you called into unfiltered.
• 30:03
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: It says researchers noticed a strange pattern when people travel.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: Major life shifts often happen not after years of therapy,
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: but after a single strong travel experience. People come back
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: from a trip and suddenly quit jobs and relationships, change cities,
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: or finally start something they postponed for years. A psychologist
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: explained that travel breaks the illusion of that your current
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: life is the only possible one. Therapy works with words.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: Travel works with direct experience.
• 30:30
  Speaker 4: Holy crap. That is so true.
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: So anyway, I canceled therapy this week.
• 30:34
  Speaker 4: Oh, there you go. You're like, I had my therapy.
• 30:36
  Speaker 4: I went to Italy.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, I had pesto in four different cities.
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: I'm fine.
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: I'm healed.
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: I love that because I have, I remember when I
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: went on that El Salvador trip, like in, I don't know,
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: when was that?
• 30:45
  Speaker 4: January, February, I don't know, May.
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: And on that trip, it was the first time, probably ever,
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: that I really just, such a chill trip, maybe one
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: thing to do a day.
• 30:55
  Speaker 4: The most, the rest of the time was just spent sitting, thinking, journaling.
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: And it was moments like that where I came to
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: grips with like, where do I need to put my
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: foot down in life? What relationships do I need to
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: cut off? What conversations do I need to have? Because
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: for so many of us, like our day to day
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: is just putting out fires, putting out fires.
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: What do I got to do next? Getting a to
• 31:15
  Speaker 4: do list done.
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: And when you travel, you give yourself a moment to breathe,
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: to reset, to have a little experience that you've maybe
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: been putting off for a long time. But I love
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: that that said that it does shift your perspective and realizing,
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: wait a second, you could literally do anything.
• 31:30
  Speaker 4: And that sounds nuts.
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: But one of the most freeing thoughts that I've ever
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: had is realizing that if this is not the life
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: that you want to live, you could literally change it.
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: It's easy to think that you have to be with
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: a job for the rest of your life. And wait,
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: that sounds sometimes mortifying. But the reality is you could
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: change it. You know, you don't have to live in
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: the same city for your entire life. You don't have
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: to be with the same person. But your happiness should
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: be the priority. And when you give yourself those experiences,
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: you see, wait a second, there's a whole ass world,
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: and now even, I don't know, people talking about aliens now.
• 32:00
  Speaker 4: A whole ass universe of things going down. Endless possibilities.
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: I also saw somewhere that traveling also changes the role
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: that you're in because most people, and I'm specifically talking
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: about the kind of trips that I organize where it's
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: girls trips, like, you know, you go on with all
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: these strangers. where a lot of people when they travel
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: they usually have some kind of role of like okay
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: I'm traveling with my kids and I'm you know mom
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: so I'm taking care of everything or I'm traveling with
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: my partner and you know we've got to make sure
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: I want to make sure that my partner's happy whereas
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: when these girls come on these trips like the only
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: person they have to make happy is themselves I mean
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: work I mean be be within the group and be
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: nice to everybody like of course you know be on
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: time to things don't hold people up all the things
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: but You only have to focus on like what's going
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: to feel good for you. If you want to skip
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: out on a tour, skip out on tour. If we're
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: making a certain pasta and you want to make a
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: different pasta, make the different pasta.
• 32:46
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean?
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: Like you really get to be selfish. And I think
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: a certain level of selfishness is good because you can
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: find out what makes you happy. And when you are fulfilled,
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: then you can be a better partner when you get
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: back or a better mom or whatever that looks like
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: for you. And so I always love seeing how people's
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: lives change after these trips. Like how did this experience
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: shift you or push you forward? Or did it encourage
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: you to go somewhere else? Or I have this friend
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: that I travel with who I love watching her go
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: to all these crazy places. She's like, I travel with
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: you and I just want to have a fun time.
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: But like when I just, when I want to, you know,
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: really see the world, she goes with other people because I'm,
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: you know, I'm going to like Europe and shit. She's,
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: she's going to like Morocco and all the crazy places. Yeah.
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: But it is cool just to see people really like
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: blossom and transform and, open up in front of the
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: camera and just, yeah, become more of themselves.
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: And I like it because at the end of the day,
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: I hear a lot of people talk about their solo travels.
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: Take that solo trip because that can be the one
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: that shifts your perspective. Like you said, like you're not
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: taking care of anybody else. You're just doing everything that
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: makes you happy.
• 33:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah. I was just talking to one of our coworkers
• 33:46
  Speaker 4: over at one of these.
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: We're at Hollow Scream together for the little preview.
• 33:50
  Speaker 4: We had a little bit of time to sit there
• 33:51
  Speaker 4: and talk. And they're telling me about this. What was it?
• 33:53
  Speaker 4: A book club.
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: It's a book club travel for solo women to go
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: and travel.
• 33:57
  Speaker 4: They all talk about books together. She's like, I don't know.
• 33:59
  Speaker 4: I was like, go. If that's the thing that's calling
• 34:02
  Speaker 4: you to go, go.
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: Who is this?
• 34:03
  Speaker 4: This is, I don't know if I should throw it under,
• 34:06
  Speaker 4: but Monica.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, 100%. Because I think that's the other intimidating
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: thing about signing up for the kind of thing that
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: I do is like, what are we going to talk about? Like,
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: are we all going to get along? And weirdly enough,
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: it usually works out. Like, there's always some kind of
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: overarching theme of the people that get attracted to a
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: certain trip that I think a trip like that for
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: Monica would be cool in the sense that like, what
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: are we going to talk about? Oh, we know what
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: we're going to talk about. We all like to read.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: We're all going to, if we don't want to talk
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: to each other, we can just go back to our book.
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: And then when we want to chat with each other,
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: I can tell you about what's going on in my book.
• 34:34
  Speaker 4: Exactly.
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: And you're doing it for you. You're allowed to take
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: that trip. And I guess for me too, I understand.
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: Like it's scary. Like to go on a trip alone
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: and be like, I don't know where I'm going to go.
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: I don't know who these people are. Like when I
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: went on that trip to El Salvador, I knew the
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: retreat leaders who actually put on the retreat, but everybody
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: else was new. And so it's that little feeling of like,
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: it always speaks up. And I know I'm not the
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: only one, but like my thought is, oh gosh, everyone's
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: going to have a friend, everyone's going to know somebody,
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: and I'm going to be the only one outside of
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: the group. Even though I've proven it over and over
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: again in myself, I can socialize with the group, Scott.
• 35:05
  Speaker 4: You could make friends with literally a grasshopper.
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: Well, it's not that you can't, but do you want
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: to experience discomfort?
• 35:11
  Speaker 4: Yes, exactly.
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: How much discomfort am I willing to sit through? And
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: what I continue to remind myself, and I say this
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: to you if you're like, wait a second, should I
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: take that solo trip? The discomfort goes away as soon
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: as you start that first conversation. That first conversation usually
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: puts out that fire. Because the other person in that
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: conversation or the group, they're looking for the exact same thing.
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: 100%.
• 35:30
  Speaker 4: That is so cool. Good for your girls group. So
• 35:32
  Speaker 4: there's no like.
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: No, no. I hate that it's so boring. But I'm like,
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: there's really like nothing for me to talk about other
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: than the fact that I think we all had a
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: really good time.
• 35:41
  Speaker 4: That's fantastic. As you deserve.
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: Italy was one of the most beautiful. I mean, it
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: might be the most beautiful place I've ever been. Capri
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: was my favorite day. We took this big boat out.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: Long live or not long live. Ferry gate's officially over.
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: Yacht gate is back. And I mean, just it was
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: just ridiculously beautiful. The Amalfi Coast, like now I understand
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: why all the celebrities vacation there and honeymoon there because
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: you're along this coast. And I was just in such
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: awe of nature, which sounds really cheesy because all of
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: these towns are built into these cliff sides. And because
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: it's bumped up right against the ocean, it's like you
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: can see how big these mountains are or how big
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: these cliffs are. And you can just see how big
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: the ocean is like life just feels really big there
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: or just like the earth feels really big, which I
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: know is kind of a weird way to describe it.
• 36:33
  Speaker 4: Are you stepping into your hippie era?
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: I think I really am. I think I'm also just
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: like I'm recovering from days of travel, which is weird
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: because I've been sleeping nonstop for two days. I'm also
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: having an allergic reaction to this detergent that my mom
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: decided to put across the house. That's another side story. That's,
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's really the most dramatic thing happening in
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: my life is not the trip, but just everything in
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: my personal life.
• 36:53
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: That I'm like, I literally blocked everybody while I was
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: in Italy. I was like, leave me alone. I don't
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: have any time for this bullshit. And then now I'm
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: back and I'm dealing with the bullshit.
• 37:01
  Speaker 4: You like stepped right back into reality.
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: I stepped right back into reality. So yeah, therapy will
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: be fun this week.
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: That's, I mean, it's going to be good to be
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: able to unwind a little bit, but it's, I find
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: it so fascinating when like you have those perspective shifts
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: when you go on these trips of what are the
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: things that you want to clear up? or set your
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: foot down towards, or change, or do more of? Like,
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: were there any other, like, eye-opener ones that you want
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: to share? Because you probably had a good amount of time.
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to think. And also, sorry, guys, I know
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: this is kind of like just like a wah-wah episode.
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: I'm just a little sleepy. A little sleepy.
• 37:33
  Speaker 4: Understandably, a little jet lag, probably.
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: Also, breaking out in hives. I'm just trying to think.
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: It was just such, like, an easy trip, an easy
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: group of girls to get along with. Yeah. I'm trying,
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: I'm like racking my brain for something to bitch about.
• 37:49
  Speaker 4: No, no. Also, maybe things that you wanted to try
• 37:53
  Speaker 4: more of here. Was it anything?
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: Because I remember when I went, oh my gosh, like
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: when I was in El Salvador, like I literally had,
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: I have a whole journal entry of like, what do
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: I need to do about this group? Like I was
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: facing like a group of friends and I was like,
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: oh my God, I feel like I'm the outsider.
• 38:07
  Speaker 4: I need to say no to the situation. How do
• 38:09
  Speaker 4: I say no? I think that was a trip.
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: That's when I decided to not go to Alaska. Like,
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: that's where I was like, this is not what I
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: need to do right now. I don't have the money,
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: the time, the resources, or the energy to go on
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: this trip. I'm really taking care of the relationship that
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: I'm forming and the friends that I'm having. And I
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: still have so many friends that went on that trip.
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: But on that trip, I sat there and it was
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: a real moment with myself where I was like, no,
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: the answer is no. And you're going to send it
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: and you're going to do it because it's what you want.
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: Were there any moments like that for you where you're like, hmm,
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: when am I going to come back and either do
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: more of or start cutting off?
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: Uh, I really appreciate being a hot girl. I think
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: is what I've just said.
• 38:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: Um, my first day, me, my from Miranda did like
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: a whole photo shoot at this beach club in Sorrento.
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: And I put a lot of work and I've done
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: a lot of work with my body image and, um,
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: and lifting weights and stuff. And I think this was
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: the first time I was like, oh, it's working.
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: Yes!
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe it sounds vapid. It's nice in
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: a phase of life where I feel like I'm starting over.
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: This is the woo-woo part of it. In a phase
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: of life where I feel like everything in my life
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: went back to just phase one, it's nice to be
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: further along in an area of my life that I've
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: struggled in. So I guess I'm excited to come back
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: and get back to my routines and work out again
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: and get even more strong. I think I feel more
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: reinvigorated to try and continue to post more content. I
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: really struggle with wanting to live in the moment and
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: not be like one of those cliche influencer girls, but
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: also like wanting to make something on my platform, if
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: that makes sense. I really struggled with that on the
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: trip of like, trying not to be in people's face
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: too much with videos or photos or whatever, but also
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: kind of being like, oh, it would be cool if
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: I could do this more professionally. Yes.
• 39:53
  Speaker 4: Does that make sense?
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: I'm struggling with that a little bit and trying to
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: figure out a sustainable way to make content. But yeah,
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: I feel reinvigorated, but also really tired and like I'm
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: breaking out in eczema hives.
• 40:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah, like, okay, you came back to reality. That's now
• 40:07
  Speaker 4: trying to take you out.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, reality is about to kick my ass. So like, okay,
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: you put this off for a week, so we're going
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: to give it to you all right now.
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: Is there anything that you came back, because whenever I travel,
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: I truly try to disconnect, get off my phone, get
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: off of social media, because life's moving so quick, and
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: you just want to be in the moment.
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: Was there anything that you came back and saw that
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: you're like, oh, shit, I didn't know that happened, or
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: kind of eye-opening moment? Because we were talking about it
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: on the show. Literally, my eye-opening moment was like, oh, shit,
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: Lady Gaga had a baby.
• 40:30
  Speaker 4: Oh, shit.
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: No, because I am pretty chronically online. There was nothing
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: that shocked me, except I did fly out of New
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: York on 9-11.
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: I was thinking about you when we were doing the
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: show here. I was like, oh, yeah, we're Abby's flying in.
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: Which, okay, I guess this is a little bit of
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: a story. Because I will say, I didn't really feel
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: any type of way about it. When I realized that
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: I booked my flight, because I'm like, oh, why is
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: this one $ 700 cheaper? Because it was, you know, the
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: 9-11 flight into JFK as opposed to flying into ATL
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: or doing something on the 12th. I didn't feel any
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: type of way about it. And again, this might be
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: something that gets to be canceled. But we were in
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: line for my flight from Naples to JFK. Which, by
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: the way, I did get food poisoning. I felt totally
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: fine the whole trip.
• 41:12
  Speaker 3: Except.
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: something always happens that makes me almost miss my flight
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: on the last day. So I don't know if that's
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: a sign that I'm like just supposed to move abroad.
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: And they're like, stop leaving.
• 41:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: Why are you leaving this country?
• 41:20
  Speaker 4: You love it here.
• 41:20
  Speaker 3: Literally.
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: I was like, I had so much Pepto-Bismol in my
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: body and the Naples airport. I felt bad for anybody
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: that had to stand next to me that day. I'm
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: so sorry.
• 41:27
  Speaker 4: What did you have for breakfast that day? Or what
• 41:29
  Speaker 4: do you think?
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: I didn't have anything. I had, I think there was
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: a seafood pasta that I had. So I don't know
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: if it just kind of hit me the wrong way.
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: But it was weird because I felt, I mean, I
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: was out until 2 a.m. that night. And I felt
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: totally fine. And then I woke up and then I
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: started dry heaving on the street.
• 41:42
  Speaker 4: Do you get like flight, not like flight anxiety, but
• 41:44
  Speaker 4: travel anxiety?
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: No, because it was like a sickness. Like I really
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: felt like, oh my God, I'm about to like shit
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: my pants. I was in the shit. I literally ran
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: to like a random street corner in Sorrento. I'm like,
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: I cannot throw up in this hotel. They're going to
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: charge me. So anyway, I'm feeling nauseous more than I
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: am feeling nervous getting on this flight. But there were
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: three guys in front of me that looked, they looked
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: stereotypically Middle Eastern. And I remember thinking, oh, you know,
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: it is 9-11. You know what I mean? Like, I
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: don't know. It's 9-11, whatever. I don't, you know, everyone travels. Yeah, yeah.
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: you know how they check your passport, get you on
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: an international flight. They pulled all three of them out
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: of line.
• 42:21
  Speaker 4: That's yeah. That's the part that's like, and I.
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: And I know, and listen, I felt zero type of
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: way about this flight and I felt really zero type
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: of way about these guys, but they were directly in
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: front of me and I saw them pull out their
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: passports and they got yanked out of line. They went somewhere.
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: And so I literally thought, Oh, is this just like
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: an extra precaution? Um, what's going on here? And then
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: when I got on my flight, they said that they
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: had to take some of the luggage out of the airplane.
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: And I thought, ah.
• 42:55
  Speaker 4: What's going on here?
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: Whose luggage was on the flight that maybe they don't
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: want the flight to be on there? But what I
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: learned about the Naples airport is the runway is super short.
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: And so your plane can't be a certain distance. weight,
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: and so they had to yank one of my luggages.
• 43:08
  Speaker 4: Actually, it was yours, Abby. It was mine.
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: They were like, this girl looked a little nervous behind
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: those guys.
• 43:12
  Speaker 4: This blonde girl seems a little suspicious.
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: So here's your reminder. Don't put your TSA lock on
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: your European luggage, because they will slice open your luggage.
• 43:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah, they cut that thing open.
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: They cut that thing open. So that arrived to me
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: three days with duct tape surrounded by it.
• 43:25
  Speaker 4: They're like, sorry, but we needed to make sure.
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: And so that was a little bit dramatic, the food
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: poisoning to literally crop dusting the entire Naples airport. I've
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: never had so much Pepto-Bismol in my life, to thinking, oh,
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: maybe there's some suspicious characters on this flight, and then
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: really the rest of it was fine.
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: Then you got back, and it's just easy. I mean,
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: what are your cats doing this whole time? Are your
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: parents at the house? Because I know cats can go
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: a long time without.
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that could be a whole other conversation for tomorrow,
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: because I think I really just depressed everyone into a hole.
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: Well, also inspired, because it's a time to travel, it's
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: a time to do, but also it's a reminder, like,
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: Do the thing for yourself, too.
• 44:01
  Speaker 4: Yes. I saw this. I got kind of annoyed at
• 44:04
  Speaker 4: this post.
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: I get so many relationship posts and kid posts now.
• 44:09
  Speaker 2: Not that I'm having any kids anytime soon. But one
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: of the posts was like, we will have our time again.
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: This time is for our baby.
• 44:17
  Speaker 4: And it was like a little meme. And it was like,
• 44:19
  Speaker 4: our spontaneous date nights could wait. This time is for
• 44:22
  Speaker 4: our baby. And I looked at that post and I thought,
• 44:25
  Speaker 4: I don't agree with that.
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: At all.
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: Like, yes, take care of your baby, but also, like,
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: you and your partner deserve to take trips and do
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: things for yourselves, too.
• 44:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 44:33
  Speaker 4: Like, have the fun. Take the trip. Take care of yourself.
• 44:36
  Speaker 4: Or are you supposed to just put yourself on the
• 44:37
  Speaker 4: back burner for, I don't know, hypothetically, 18 years? Yeah. Like, fully?
• 44:41
  Speaker 4: I know a lot of people do. Like, I watched it.
• 44:42
  Speaker 4: I witnessed it.
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: I went through it in my own situation growing up.
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: But what I would want, and for my friends and
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: for myself, is like, yes, take care, but also, like,
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: it's okay to be quote-unquote selfish here and there.
• 44:54
  Speaker 4: Put yourself first. It's a year out. Plan it. But
• 44:57
  Speaker 4: it's for you.
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: And you need to fill your cup up because it's
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: like the cliche saying, if you ain't got nothing to
• 45:02
  Speaker 2: spill out your cup, well, then everyone.
• 45:04
  Speaker 4: Else suffers too.
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely.
• 45:06
  Speaker 4: Selfishly, but also it's okay to be selfish.
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: Just like me on that plane. Everybody else was suffering
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: around me.
• 45:11
  Speaker 4: But you were feeling better.
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: I felt a little bit. No, I actually felt worse
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: because then you're embarrassed and you're nauseous. Oh, yeah.
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: Everyone else has to deal with it too. It would
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: have been worse if you actually got sick on the plane.
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: I was really nervous that was going to happen. So
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: I had to... I love airplane food. I had to
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: skip out on all the airplane food.
• 45:27
  Speaker 4: Oh, especially on the international flights, too. They actually give
• 45:29
  Speaker 4: you a full meal.
• 45:29
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 45:30
  Speaker 4: It's the best.
• 45:30
  Speaker 2: Did you get, was it, I think we might have
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: talked about this, but like, was it just economy?
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I got upgraded on my very, very last flight,
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: so I guess I was kind of worth it. Oh, okay.
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: Just to comfort. Not that that was anything better, but.
• 45:43
  Speaker 4: A little extra leg room.
• 45:44
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: I had to move on my first flight back from
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: Naples to JFK. This really pissed me off. Here's another rant. Sorry,
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: you're really catchy. I'm like in a, I don't know
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: if you're watching the video, but I'm currently in a
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: ball because I'm cold. Because I missed out on my
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: iron pills for a week.
• 45:57
  Speaker 4: Oh, Jesus.
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: So I'm sitting, oh my God. I'm like so angry
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: thinking about it in hindsight. Oh boy. So the thing
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: about me, I'm very specific about my plane setup. I
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: bring disinfectant wipes. I bring my sunscreen. I bring my charger.
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: You know, I've got a whole routine.
• 46:17
  Speaker 4: You've got the routine down.
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: I purchase the window seat. I buy it extra. So
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: I actually got on the plane a little bit early
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: for my Naples to JFK flight because if you've ever
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: been to a European airport, you know, sometimes they put
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: you in a bus and then the bus takes you
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: to the airplane. So if you get lucky, it doesn't
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: really matter what your fucking boarding group is because if
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: you beat the person that was in boarding group two,
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: then you're on before they were.
• 46:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah, sorry, we're on the bus.
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: So I get on the plane. I'm there, you know, 10,
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: 15 minutes earlier than I would have been. I disinfect
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: my entire chair. No one's looking at me weird because
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: there's nobody on this plane.
• 46:48
  Speaker 3: Hell yeah.
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: I get my blanket out. I get my pillow out.
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: I put my sunscreen on because if you don't know this,
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: you're closer to the sun than you'll ever be on
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: a plane.
• 46:59
  Speaker 4: Things I've learned. I'm now getting to know you.
• 47:01
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: Hand sanitized. And I'm sitting there. I'm about to put
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: in a movie or a song. And this bitch.
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 47:10
  Speaker 4: Who did it?
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: So this woman comes over. And to her credit, she says,
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: totally fine if not. But she goes. My husband is
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: in your exact same chair on the other side of
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: the plane. Can we please? I would love it if
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: we could switch. No worries. If not, she was very
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: nice about it. But I'm sitting there after just doing
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: my whole shtick. And I'm just like, are you fucking
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: kidding me? Because to be because another button of mine
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: is like, I don't expect and not that she expected
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: me to. But here's the thing. I also have this
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: diarrhea thing happening. So I need her to like work
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: with me if I got to get up. I also
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: don't want to sit next to somebody for the next
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: 15 hours that like is miserable to be sitting next
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: to me. So there's really, I have to say yes
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: to this. You know what I mean? Like there's no,
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: I can't not say yes to this. And so of
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: course I move, but there's a part of me that's like,
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: I saw all the empty seats on this plane. You
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: guys could have bought seats next to each other.
• 48:06
  Speaker 4: That part.
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: You could have bought seats next to each other. But
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: for whatever reason, you wanted to be in this row
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: because it was a desirable row. It was the first
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: row behind comfort next to the to the bathrooms. And
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: so I'm thinking you it really pissed me off thinking
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: you bought this seat. With the expectation that I would
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: have to sacrifice.
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like you were going into it knowing that I'm
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: going to go ask the person. They're probably going to
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: say yes. We'll be fine, sweetie. We don't got to
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: spend the extra money to get you a seat.
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: So then I'm sure you're like, well, Abby, it's fine.
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: It's the exact same seat on the other side.
• 48:33
  Speaker 5: Sure.
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: But I also just did my whole shtick. And then
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: that seat was not as good because that window was broken.
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: There was a baby behind me.
• 48:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah. You did everything you could.
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: I did everything I could.
• 48:47
  Speaker 4: And that's so crappy because you were trying to do
• 48:49
  Speaker 4: the nice person thing.
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: I know, because what are you supposed to do?
• 48:51
  Speaker 3: Say no?
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: And then I've got to sit next to this girl.
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: And literally, I thought, if I have to shit myself,
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: I need her to be okay with it.
• 48:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah. You know what I mean? She's going to have
• 48:57
  Speaker 4: to let me out quick.
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: So, anyway.
• 48:59
  Speaker 4: That sucks. You know what?
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: Karma's coming in the good way for you. You did
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: something good for somebody else. You had to sit with
• 49:03
  Speaker 2: a baby. Sit next to a random person.
• 49:06
  Speaker 4: Window doesn't hurt.
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: Something good needs to happen to me this week.
• 49:08
  Speaker 4: This week. What did we say the last podcast? It's Kismet. Kismet.
• 49:12
  Speaker 3: Kismet.
• 49:13
  Speaker 4: Kismet. Kismet.
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: Also, I was talking to, we went a little bit
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: into this story in the last couple podcasts, but with your,
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: famous athlete encounter, I think you're still on. I think
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: you're still on, based off of a Conversations that I've
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: had in the building.
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: Wait, really?
• 49:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't think you blew your chances.
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: Good, because I yelled at my mom about it this week. Oh, good.
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: I said, you know what? Add another thing.
• 49:34
  Speaker 4: Add another thing.
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: I'm actually really mad about that.
• 49:37
  Speaker 4: Well, you know what?
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: Valid.
• 49:38
  Speaker 4: But I don't think that chance is ruined. I think
• 49:40
  Speaker 4: you still got a shot there.
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: To do some interviews? Yeah. I'm excited about that.
• 49:44
  Speaker 2: Haven't ruined it at all. Thanks always for the comments. Amanda,
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: I loved reading yours today.
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: Shout out, Amanda.
• 49:49
  Speaker 4: Yeah, she also said my hair is growing out nicely.
• 49:51
  Speaker 4: So shout out to you. I like that.
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: It's getting there. I'm seeing the vision. Right? Where did
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: you go? Did you go to that lady I sent you?
• 49:57
  Speaker 4: No, she didn't have any spots until like tomorrow. And
• 50:00
  Speaker 4: I have an event. You couldn't wait a week?
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: Well, it was just right up against the time because
• 50:03
  Speaker 2: there's an event, the food fight thing that I'm going to.
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: Gotcha, gotcha.
• 50:07
  Speaker 2: So I was like, I'm not going to put it there.
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: But I did go back to my normal lady. Got
• 50:10
  Speaker 2: a little clean up.
• 50:11
  Speaker 4: Clean up my neck. kind of thinned out the sides
• 50:13
  Speaker 4: a little bit so I don't look like Bozo the Clown. Okay, okay.
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: This, I will say, this is kind of funny because, like,
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: I did try this morning, but it's not the full
• 50:20
  Speaker 2: vision of what I had yesterday.
• 50:21
  Speaker 4: I think it's because it was wet this morning when
• 50:22
  Speaker 4: I was trying to put it together. Okay. Talking about
• 50:24
  Speaker 4: my hair. And it just doesn't look as good.
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: Talking about my hair.
• 50:28
  Speaker 4: As it did.
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: Was Brianna sleeping over?
• 50:31
  Speaker 2: Not last night, sadly. But, I'm going to try to
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: get like a hair dryer or whatever, a blow dryer.
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: Oh, a diffuser?
• 50:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah, to like change it up.
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I do think you should try the perm thing,
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: like a semi-perm.
• 50:42
  Speaker 4: I'm going to.
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: Although I can see your texture coming in.
• 50:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah, like it's getting wavy. And it does a little
• 50:47
  Speaker 4: slick back. I get weirdly excited about this.
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: Wait, take off your headphones. Oh, boy.
• 50:52
  Speaker 4: Here we are. So if I go like this and
• 50:54
  Speaker 4: I throw it back, bam, bam. Take a look.
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: Okay. It's just, okay. It looks really great in the back. Okay,
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: this side. Okay, so turn to left. That side looks great.
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: Flip to the other side. She needs to do something
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: about this right here.
• 51:08
  Speaker 4: What's there?
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: Over the right ear.
• 51:10
  Speaker 3: This?
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: It's just thicker than the other side.
• 51:12
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 51:12
  Speaker 4: I think it's because more hair goes over that side.
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Once she fixes that, you're golden.
• 51:18
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 51:18
  Speaker 2: I think it's going to grow. She said around Christmas time,
• 51:21
  Speaker 2: I'm going to be perfect.
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: Well, I'm very excited for you, and I'm excited for Brianda.
• 51:25
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 51:26
  Speaker 4: A lot of flow.
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: We might do a, we saw one of the costumes
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: for like Halloween.
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 51:31
  Speaker 4: Off campus of the little bunny costume and like a
• 51:33
  Speaker 4: hockey player.
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's a great one.
• 51:35
  Speaker 5: Right?
• 51:35
  Speaker 4: And I'll have the flow for it this time.
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: You'll have the flow for it.
• 51:38
  Speaker 4: Big things. You can see the video.
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 51:40
  Speaker 2: We'll be back tomorrow with more antics. And what was
• 51:43
  Speaker 2: the thing that was, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: You said, oh, you're when you came home. When you
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: came home and then life got real.
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: I need a day to be mad about that.
• 51:52
  Speaker 2: Also, I'm going to run something by you too because
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: I thought I was going to get murdered last week.
• 51:56
  Speaker 4: And an interaction that either is going to make me
• 51:57
  Speaker 4: rich or end up in a ditch. And you'll see why.
• 52:01
  Speaker 4: We'll get to that later this week. Thanks, y'all.