Latest / Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha / Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just- The Virtue of Thoughtful Deliberation 7.20.25

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Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just- The Virtue of Thoughtful Deliberation 7.20.25 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

• 0:04
  The Ron page 286 and my son shut in.
• 0:10
  So he was talking about this concept of pretty shoot, pretty
• 0:14
  shoot, this pretty strong idea. And it means a person can he use
• 0:20
  to abstaining, holding back from this indulging everything.
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  Again, everything we're talking about totally electably allowed,
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  but maybe they're over indulging and they lead to a person
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  having, you know, being spoiled. They lead us becoming too
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  dependent on physical material things.
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  They lead to all problems. He says at first he has to
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  therefore hold back. But then he says at the same
• 0:45
  time, which we'll read now, but overdoing this concept is very
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  dangerous, overdoing being a paroush, which means a person
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  says himself, I'm not going to eat that much.
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  I'm not going to drink that much.
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  I can't enjoy anything in life without to be a Porsche.
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  If you overdo it, it's destructive, it backfires and
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  it's against the right concept. That's if any words inside the
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  way of the fools people who overdo it.
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  They hold back for themselves what's necessary to live via
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  Sukufam and they pain themselves be a serene giving themselves
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  unnecessary difficulty on page 286 with dividing Zarim a Shiloh
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  Hafiz behem Hashem call. They pain themselves doing
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  things to themselves that are totally not necessary and is
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  that OK? Is that a luckily proper for a
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  person to hold back from enjoying life because he wants
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  to be a person that's Portish. Is it the right thing for a
• 2:01
  person? Say, you know what?
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  Because I want to be a person with abstains.
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  I want to keep moussar. So I'm not going to eat a lot.
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  I'm not going to eat enough. You did that.
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  He was very poorly. That's because he didn't have
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  the money. But is it the right thing for a
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  person to hold back Messiah shame.
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  We shouldn't tell you right here.
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  This is the rabbi who is the main author of Moussar and he's
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  going to tell you to overdo it is wrong to over control
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  yourself, is not proud, is not proper for a person to paint
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  himself. That's the other person who's
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  not willing to take said they give you an example like that.
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  Why? Because he wants to say I'm not
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  going to take, I don't take. He's killing himself, the
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  shamash Chinatati bhai Kyota Hashem says if I gave you the
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  soul, I want you to provide for her properly.
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  I wanted to enjoy this earth. I wanted to have a good life.
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  Even though you need to have moussard, it doesn't mean you
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  need to paying yourself. Call ayoshi betanit.
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  If a person puts himself into constant, constant fast, nuclear
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  hotel, is he a good guy or a bad guy?
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  Always fasting. He's a bad person.
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  He's a Sinner. Why is he a Sinner?
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  He's trying to be Zaheer. He's trying to be in control.
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  He's trying to limit himself. And the answer is because that
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  is not the right way of doing things.
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  The right way of doing things, even according to Al Wata, even
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  if you're following Wahsad probably is to be in control,
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  but not overdo it. All right.
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  This is the the job that we have in front of us, which is that a
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  person should be pawesh, a person should be in control.
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  A person should be limiting himself.
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  Don't allow yourself to spoil or no.
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  Don't overdo it. Do we all accept that?
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  Then you agree with it? Do you have the concept?
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  OK, so my question is, this is obvious.
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  My question is why would anyone think otherwise?
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  What? Why would anyone think that?
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  According to Alatura, you be Portish.
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  You should abstain to a level that pains you, to a level
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  they're not going to enjoy this earth, to a level that you're
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  going to starve yourself or anyone think that because you
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  think if you have a humble light, you're going to be closer
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  to Hashanah. OK, here's the thing.
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  Exactly. So I think, let me give you a
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  story and I don't want to disparage anybody.
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  I tell you this story, you're not going to figure out what it
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  is. But to me it happened last week.
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  I told you off the record last week.
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  It was wild. I probably will repeat this
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  story at one point and work on sometime because it was a mind
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  blowing incident. So last week, one of the days of
• 5:00
  the week, it was actually a day I had a baby.
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  OK so Wednesday I had a baby and the days all over it was a very
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  beautiful day but it was also very tiring day because Tuesday
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  night I went into the hospital and we were told to come in.
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  Tuesday night we came in. There was no proper appointment
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  so we were staying up. My wife and I, my mother-in-law
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  staying up in the waiting room. Actually, I should be honest,
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  they stayed up. I, I was able to sleep.
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  I could sleep on a chair. I slept on 2 chairs for a few
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  hours, but it's still not the greatest sleep.
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  OK, the appointment really got started at 6:00 in the morning.
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  We got there, got in at 1. The appointment got started at
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  six. Then it took a few hours of
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  Labor and everything. They had the baby sometime in
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  the afternoon. Yes, it was a tiring day.
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  And now finally, at the end of the day, I'm praying I'll be, I
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  don't want to give away exactly where I was praying.
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  I'll be, I'm praying, I'll be I come into this shul to prayer,
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  I'll be tired. I have the band on my hand,
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  thank God, the whole scene, and I'm very tired.
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  I woke in now my phone, my flip phone was on ringer because I
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  never keep my phone on ringer. It was on ringer because
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  obviously phone calls during that time.
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  As you can imagine, it's important during the whole month
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  of of of you know, the due date month, the night month, I'm not
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  that good with being cold, but the day of due date itself,
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  pretty much that day, I put my phone on ringer.
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  So my phone was on ringer. While I'm praying our beat, I
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  walk into a shoe. The shoe was packed so I I
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  couldn't find. I usually like to pray in the
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  back of a shoe. All right, I prayed in the
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  middle of the shoe. The shoe was packed during that
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  let me die of our beat. My phone starts to ring.
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  OK all right now I'm fumbling for my phone.
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  Try to catch it, try to get the thing to stop it from ringing.
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  Click on the side, stop it from ringing.
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  It was an individual that stood pretty much in the front of the
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  room. Here's the ringing starts to
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  bang. Now I cannot over emphasize the
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  banging. The first bang was boom boom
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  boom loud, slow. I start to sweat.
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  I'm reaching off my phone trying to catch it.
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  It was the most embarrassing thing.
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  OK, I finally get it. Fine, I'm good.
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  And the way it works with the flip phones is after you turn
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  into a missed call, because you click it off, you get another
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  message. Basically it says missed call.
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  Now there's another beep, a loud one.
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  The person in front of the room, now, he banks, he bangs now, no
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  exaggeration, at least 10 times. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
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  Loud, booming. No one prayed.
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  Trust me, no one prayed on it. OK, then.
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  Now, after a person calls you, after a person calls you, and
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  then they get a missed call, what do they know how to do?
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  They send you a text. He sent me a text, a beep.
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  I still can't catch my phone, by the way.
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  Maybe 20 banks. OK, I stood there.
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  I was white like a ghost. I was as embarrassed as it gets.
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  I waited to the end of rain. I walked out the side door, ran
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  out of the building and that was it.
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  OK, man, look down without a building.
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  That was it. It was embarrassing thing.
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  Probably one of the most embarrassing.
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  I'm not saying anything. I gave away anything.
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  Here's my thought. This is the thought I am.
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  Where is this person who probably thinks that he's a
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  rational person get in his mind. He should bang.
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  It was it was a quiet fuss. Was that where do you get mine
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  that you should bang all these times and people are probably
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  you think he's representing us him.
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  He first of all, nobody prayed. Trust me, don't worry.
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  Second of all, the Bouchard that you gave a person is beyond.
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  I am not exaggerating the slaves, the beyond.
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  There you go. I'm good think it's me.
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  He's the one that shit. He should be ashamed.
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  You don't know maybe yesterday he gave a speech there about the
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  phone. I'm sure I'm sore.
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  You don't know the circumstances.
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  I do the second because his anger is more annoying than I'm
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  sure that he this is his. This is his mission of light
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  things happen. Is he what you only have in
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  life? Oh, so my point is this it gets
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  back to that point. My point is is that he took a
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  concept which is a fair concept. No phone ringing in show is very
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  annoying. It does disrupt the FILA.
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  He took the concept and what happened is he went down the
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  road of Mossad or whatever it is, but he didn't think it
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  through. Which means he didn't pull the
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  full mind behind his actions. He processed it.
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  He said OK phone the shul bag. Good I got it.
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  One 1 + 1 = 2. I agree 100%.
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  But he didn't think it through. Which means let's process this.
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  Let's think about the fact that there are kids in the room or
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  looking at a grown man watching fumble for his phone and they're
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  kind of smirky. Let's think about the fact that
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  this unbelievable bushaw. I think about the fact you don't
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  know who it is and he's not seeing me.
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  I could have been arrested, Shiva.
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  I could have been someone who's more important than him.
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  Who knows, who could have been. All right, I think all these
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  things through. Let's think about next time.
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  I was thinking about the president.
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  You said all these different things.
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  He didn't think it through. He took an idea and he was
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  reactionary. And when I was telling you right
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  here is the same exact thing, which is in life, you have to be
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  thoughtful, you have to process, you have to deliberate.
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  You have to work things out. I have to make sure all the
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  variables are figured out every single way.
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  Huh. You didn't speak to me.
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  No, I did not. You didn't.
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  When I did, it snuck out the door.
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  It was to speak to me on the baby of the shirt.
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  I didn't say what they told me to do what they say.
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  When you get embarrassed, make a prayer.
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  I walked out. I said to feel out.
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  That's it. All right.
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  Got a lot. Uh huh.
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  We got out. Is that and the very, very
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  strong thing. We're not.
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  And by the way, in every other area, he seems like an old
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  person. I've seen it before so I'm
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  surprised, but I really believe this is the mindset lack of an
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  understanding. Better not to confront them.
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  He just walk away. That time, if I would confront
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  them, I would have been upset, man.
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  Yeah, I would have told them all the lines.
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  I have all the lines, the back and pocket, you know, all the
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  classic lines. You embarrass a person this time
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  the other thing say it for later.
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  The extreme. My point is he didn't think he
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  thought it halfway through. He had an idea he didn't
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  process. Besides him is telling you the
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  exact same thing. This is the book of Mossad.
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  The book of Mossad is telling you you have to be a person
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  who's in control of yourself, a person who limits yourself, a
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  person who watches what you do and don't overdose.
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  But at the same time he's telling you don't overdo it.
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  Don't be a person who lets it go and says, you know what, if he
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  told me to control myself, I'm going to pain myself.
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  No, deliberate everything I see worked out.
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  And even in these examples where he's telling you and his
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  examples to control yourself and he's telling you to be a person
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  who has moussard, you don't pain your family.
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  You don't make it difficult on yourself because of moussard.
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  You do it in a thoughtful, mindful, processed, deliberated
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  way. The people who are reactionary
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  or the people who have problems, the people who take half of
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  Hashem's message are the people who really can create major
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  problems. That's where you have to take
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  Hashem's full message. Hashem's messages.
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  Yeah, No phones for sure. No noise is sure, but I sent a
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  message all series. Be a nice person, be a kind
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  person, be a fully worked on person.
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  Everything in life has to be deliberated, has to be worked
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  out. And if you work things out, I
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  shall be with you. I'll give you one other story
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  and then we'll close. What happens with the the guys
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  that do hot saw and they're in the show?
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  Yeah, that's different. That's the hair.
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  Get a mud razza hat saw. Say again.
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  Everybody knows that hat saw. Hat Saw is different and they
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  have to do it and they really try.
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  They have a lot of talk about trying to keep her quiet and
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  trying to be low key and trying to hide certain things.
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  They try. All right, that's a fairpoint
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  now. No other stories, these fellows.
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  So we had a baby and we gave her two names.
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  Why two names? Not a two name guy.
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  I'm not a fan of so much of giving me two names.
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  Why two names? So I wanted all alone.
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  When the baby was born. I wanted to give some sort of
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  token to my father passing away. I wanted to relate to father
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  passing away. OK, now father's.
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  I already have a son as my father's name, and this is a
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  girl in you. Little Michelle.
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  So how many? Michelle, how many relate that
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  ball pass anyway? OK, so I had a plan.
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  OK, good fuck. Now, at the same time, I also
• 14:07
  felt and it wasn't so nice to Manlos.
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  They just ignore them. They didn't become out great
• 14:16
  people. God, he's not married and it
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  wasn't proper to Manlos. They really ignore them.
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  It's a it's a freebie. It's a free name and you know,
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  maybe they deserve a grandparent as next level up to be named
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  after them. OK, I skipped their name a few
• 14:31
  times already. I named random freebies without
• 14:33
  giving any connection to my laws.
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  I felt it was proper, especially because the only living
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  grandmother I have is on my wife's side.
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  I felt it was proper to give her name.
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  So I had this little debate. We had a little back and forth,
• 14:45
  back and forth. So we settled them to follow.
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  We settled in a name Nihama Bhatia.
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  That was the name the Hama Bhatia is because the Hama is
• 15:00
  for during the three weeks is a concept.
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  As you mentioned the consoling habita Mikash and the baby was
• 15:08
  born during the three weeks and also consoling consultant with
• 15:13
  my father passing away. That's the name.
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  The Hama and Bhatia was my my wife's grandmother's name.
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  Perfect. Two names, the Hama Bhatia.
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  OK, we thought about it. We deliberated back and forth.
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  I printed out a book of all Jewish names, all Jewish name
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  possible, and I went through every single one before making
• 15:33
  the decision. We deliberated, went through
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  back and forth and everything. OK, but here's what I think is
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  good at the whole concept. When you deliberate, Hashem
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  helps you. Here's the proof.
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  We gave the baby the name again, the consultant 3 weeks my father
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  passing away and my wife's grandmother's name.
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  But the beauty is Ebony baby was born.
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  Someone tells me why do you do that?
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  Explain why I did it. And I said someone says one
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  second Nihama Ismena him. It's your father's name exactly
• 16:08
  interchangeable, and it is, which means that not only were
• 16:11
  we saying consolement, because the Hammami's consolment of the
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  three weeks of my grandfather passing away and then my wife's
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  grandmother built the street, Hashem helps you and he makes it
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  work out that when you think things through properly, he has
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  a little extra. So I did not think about my
• 16:29
  father's name, literally the girl.
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  I didn't think that part through at all.
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  But Hashem makes that part work out too.
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  When you think things through all the way, when you
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  deliberate, when you are methodical, when you're not
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  reactionary, then Hashem allows add a little extra bonus to the
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  pie. And that's really the mindset.
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  So I think we take away from this Messiah, Shane's point, the
• 16:51
  Book of Moussa is telling you don't just take half the book.
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  Understand that every single area of life requires
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  thoughtfulness in that area, requires process, requires
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  deliberation, no reactionary things.
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  And if you do it properly, do it the right way, you'll never harm
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  a single person. He never hurt anybody, you never
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  have any collateral damage, and instead you'll have processes
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  that come out complete at the end of the day.
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  That's how most of this.