Latest / Reality TV Cringe / 86: Welcome to Plathville (S5E1) / 90 Day Fiancé The Last Resort (S1E4)

Transcript

86: Welcome to Plathville (S5E1) / 90 Day Fiancé The Last Resort (S1E4) · Reality TV Cringe

0:10
Well, Hi raccoons. Hi, Welcome to Reality TV Cringe, where we
0:15
serve up all the trash. That's yeah. I'm your host, Delia and
0:21
I'm here with my real tied home girl Beatrice. Hi, and we just
0:25
watched together. Yeah, we reacted to season five, episode one, Welcome
0:31
to plat Phil, entitled is This a Dagger? Which I see? What
0:36
the heck? The dumbest title is that? Even dramatically correct? Isn't it
0:41
supposed to be? Is this a dagger? I see? Yeah, I
0:44
don't know, it's really and that just sounds really bad. It's really bad.
0:49
Perfect. We're also gonna be talking about Dance the Last or I mean,
0:52
god forbid, we do not talk about that now. We watched that
0:56
before we reacted to Welcome to plat Phil. By the way, if you
0:59
want to see our reaction, all you have to do is go to patreon
1:02
dot com slash Reality TV Cringe. It's the top tier, the glitter Gates,
1:07
Luxury lambfill to get all the video content, they get all the reactions.
1:11
That's where you'll go to see that. Yeah, but before we get
1:14
into everything, we're gonna be talking about tonight and I have been drinking she's
1:18
been everybody. Mommy's a little tipsy. Before we get into that, just
1:23
a disclaimer, I'm not your friend. I'm not here to fucking please you.
1:30
I will say what is on my mind all day, Locky. This
1:33
is not a politically correct block at No, it's not. You're maybe you
1:38
want to choose a different dumpster. Get the funk out of here. All
1:41
of life is a dumpster. Yeah, this happens to be the coolest dumpster
1:45
relest raccoons. But if you're not down, if you're all uncool, beat
1:51
it, beat it. Thanks. Yeah. Also, we have an Instagram
1:55
at reality at Reality TV Cridge. Go follow us. They're up, well,
2:02
go follow me there because I'm the only one that post here. I'm
2:06
too old for that ship. And then we also have a Patreon, like
2:08
we already said, Patreon dot com slash reality TV Cridge. There's tons of
2:12
bonus content up on there, so go support us there. Thank you,
2:15
thank you very much. All right, let's get into Welcome to Plasville.
2:20
Now, this happens to be one of our favorite shows, so great to
2:25
watch. It's very culty, it's very fundamentalist Christian. Lots of lies beneath
2:32
the surface. Most notably is the fact that Kim says she doesn't eat sugars.
2:39
Okay, something in this family, one of these things is not like
2:43
the other. And it happens to be Kim. I'm telling you it's the
2:45
booze too. She's drinking a lot bousin and she's eaten. Yeah, and
2:50
I don't think Jesus told her to do that. I don't think Jesus died
2:53
for that, Kim. Well, Jesus died for our sins, Delia.
2:57
And she's sinning. Yeah, she's sinning. He is sinning anyway. So
3:00
we catch up with the Plath kids that again, we love this show,
3:05
and we're essentially caught up with everything that is going on in their lives,
3:09
starting with Ethan and Olivia, who are traveling the world. Honey, oh
3:14
my god, they're spending like months, two months in Europe. Must be
3:17
nice, I mean, god, it must be nice with all that TLC
3:20
money. But TLC checks treating you good? Huh. They spent a month
3:23
in fucking Paris, Like, why would you spend it there? Sorry?
3:29
The food, the wine? But are they rioting the art they're always writing?
3:34
I mean they're always protesting and rioting it's friends. My sister lived in
3:38
France for a year and she said Paris was a shiphole. Okay, I've
3:40
heard a lot of people on Reddit yeah say that if there's one city you
3:45
don't want to go to, first of all, it's Cairo, Yeah,
3:46
second is Paris. Yeah, And I'm like, yeah, I have no
3:49
desire, so that's fine with me. But they also went to England.
3:52
Yeah. Then they did like some biking and stuff Scotland. Yeah, that
3:55
seemed fun. Yeah, I would love to do that. They're working on
3:58
their marriage. I guess their marriage has been under attack by all of Olivia's
4:03
horseshit. Yeah, so another disclaimer has to be issued because I know there
4:09
are a lot of people out there, especially on the reddits. I know
4:12
that absolutely stan Olivia. I don't get it. I can't relate. I
4:16
want to stand Olivia because first and foremost, she's so pretty. She's beautiful,
4:21
but I hate her esthetically. She's ago, and so you want the
4:26
heart to be there too, You want the heart to be at the same
4:29
level as the beauty. But it's not. It's definitely not. I see
4:32
right through her. Maybe it's because I'm older than you at twenty four years
4:35
old and you're at twenty one. Maybe maybe I've been on the planet longer,
4:39
so you've seen more in my life. But I see right through her.
4:42
Oh me too, super manipulative, total manipulative bitch. And then there's
4:46
Kim, and she's an absolute malignant narcissist. Oh totally. Both of these
4:53
things can be true. Kim can be a terrible, deplorable drunk yet myself
4:59
like myself, and Olivia can be an absolute tuat. It's the tale of
5:01
two narks, Yes, in my opinion, two battling narks. Yeah.
5:05
Who's gonna win? Yeah, And it looks like it's not Olivia right now
5:10
because Micah and Maria are coming to the realization that maybe they've been influenced unduly
5:17
by the terrible, witchy Olivia. I'm so glad they're waking up to it
5:21
because we've been seeing Now, we've been doing the recaps of the earlier seasons,
5:26
by the way, it's on Patreon. Yea our path recas still doing
5:29
it, Yeah, doing it. But we've been watching those earlier seasons,
5:32
and we've been clocking Olivia from the get go. Yeah, she's not as
5:36
smart as she thinks. That she is, but she is smarter than every
5:40
other plas, Yes, and so that's why she wields such power in this
5:44
little town of Cairo, of course, and now Tampa, Florida. Yes,
5:46
but I think she's odious. I think she's awful. I do think
5:49
she loves Ethan and it twisted broken way, and I think Ethan in a
5:54
broken conflict of verse, emotionally stunted and handicapped way, also loves Olivia's boobs.
6:03
Yeah, he loves everything that comes along with Olivia's She's a haughty totally
6:08
out of his league. And so he's okay with setting aside what his heart
6:13
is telling him, which is he's married to a witch. But he also
6:16
had a mom who is a malignant narc. So of course he jumps into
6:21
the first relationship he can and it's with another nark. He doesn't know what
6:26
He's so innocent. He's so innocent. But if you hate him, I
6:28
hate him, don't act like you were I hate him. I think as
6:30
a youngster, as a teenager, as a Johnny Appleseed, he's a lot
6:35
like Mica at eighteen and nineteen at the farmer's market. He's got a good
6:40
heart. He's guileless. But by now, when what are we talking?
6:44
Twenty three, twenty four. Yeah, you've seen enough to make your own
6:48
decisions about what is right and what is wrong. Yeah, and he has
6:51
made some wrong decisions, and he does not make the choice to better himself
6:57
at all. Like he's not in therapy to learn how to talk with his
7:00
big boy words. Yeah, open your mouth and say oh word, Ethan,
7:02
come on. He doesn't know how to emotionally navigate a conversation with his
7:06
wife without getting red in the face. Correct, it's all just tomato red,
7:11
and he's about to have a heart attack. He doesn't know how to
7:15
approach what's going on in his family. I think he wants to be close
7:18
to his family. Yeah, but he knows that if he's close to his
7:21
family, his wife's going to be mad. And instead of learning how and
7:26
amassing the tools to figure out how to deal with that, he just works
7:30
on cars. Yeah, and he's like, don't talk to me. He
7:31
doesn't want to deal with it. He's so conflict diverse that he's like,
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I just I'm going to deal with it. It's fine because at least Olivia
7:38
is still begging me. Yeah, Like that's all it is. Really,
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he's not dealing with it though. He's going to Europe with Olivia. Yeah,
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and they are working on their marriage, working on their marriage, and
7:49
Olivia is saying things like, well, in Europe, where there's no siblings
7:55
and family, we get along great. There's no drama at all. There's
7:58
nobody to influence our marriage and stick their nose in it. I'm like,
8:01
what are you talking about. Nobody's involved in your marriage but you. She's
8:07
so stupid. She's talk, she's super talks and I'm just calling it out.
8:11
And so if you hate me for that, I'm sorry. This is
8:13
my oh bit yet. Yeah, she's toxic toxic af. But then we
8:18
go to Los Angeles. We're the very handsome Micah dancing around in his I
8:24
Love an apartment, your little tongue, dude. Again, he's very handsome.
8:28
I mean, yeah, he's dancing around. He's he's sweet. The
8:33
dancing in the apartment though, was hella cringe dude, I didn't. I
8:35
didn't want to see that in his boxer. I'm sure the producers put him
8:39
up to it. Oh, for sure, he is too young to know
8:41
that that comes from risky business, yes, which is a movie from the
8:45
eighties. Are you acting you did? Yeah, Dunny, Okay, Well
8:50
he's acting like he knows what the movie is. Yeah, but he doesn't
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know. No, he doesn't know the movie. He's living in his own
8:54
path. Yeah, he's not dating or anything, and he's modeling, but
8:58
it's like Freeland's job, meaning he's not modeling a lot, and so TLC
9:05
is paying his bills, hanging him for his new beautiful apartment. Yeah,
9:09
he does happen to be going to Miami on another modeling gig, and just
9:13
so happens, he's going to be able to get together with Maria and have
9:16
a conversation with her and his parents. And this is where we get into
9:20
the credit card stuff. Yes, I can't wait to get into that later
9:24
in the episode when they have to sit down conversation, but Mica introduces it
9:28
and says that Olivia's been talking shit, what she's been talking shit about my
9:33
mama on TV, spreading lies because Kim had stolen Ethan's credit cards and has
9:41
been charging him up with her own bullshit. Yes, and then Olivia found
9:46
out and she changed the password. Kim came to her and said, give
9:50
me that guddown password. Olivia said, no, bitch, and then they
9:54
fought. It was the first big falling out that they had. And so
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Micah references this and talks about how Olivia brought it up on national television,
10:03
that Kim's a fucking thief, yeah, and that this is a lie.
10:07
And this is where he talks about the MLM. Yeah. He says what
10:09
it actually was was a multi level marketing company, which is bad. It's
10:16
a scheme. It's a pyramid scheme. It's terrible. But apparently Ethan and
10:20
Kim were involved in it together. It was a business agreement and Ethan was
10:26
receiving a regular paycheck and so it was fine. So Olivia took that as
10:31
a negative thing and blew it out of proportion and that's why she lied on
10:35
national television. And Micah is not down for that. He was actually quite
10:39
pissed about it in this episode. And I guess him and Mariah and the
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other siblings later released a statement on filial media defending Kim about it. Yes,
10:48
So that's interesting. It is interesting, And as Micah's talking about the
10:54
MLM, it feels energetically to this fake psychic like it's possile like maybe they
11:01
got into an MLM, something like Essential Oils. We were talking in the
11:05
reaction, like what kind of MLM would it be some crunch crunchy that Kim
11:09
would be into? And I could see that Kim would rope Ethan into some
11:13
sort of a business venture like that, sure, and that Olivia would come
11:18
across it and see that they shared a credit card, or that she had
11:20
access to his business credit card and she was in control of it and make
11:24
a big deal out of that. But I could also see a world where
11:28
Kim is totally taking advantage of Ethan. Yeah, he's got a credit card
11:31
that he's taken out on his own and she's charging up all kinds of ship.
11:35
But why would she need to These people are really wealthy, exactly when
11:39
you look at the Plath farm, when you look at the dance studio,
11:43
when you look at all the rental properties, when you look at the apartment
11:46
that Kim is currently living in, why would they need to steal money from
11:50
Ethan? Yeah, that doesn't really make any sense unless she was using his
11:54
credit card to buy her booze. Oh my god, I'm just saying.
11:58
I mean that could be sending Mario. But I can also see Olivia just
12:01
lying about it and just blowing it out of proportion because that's what she thinks
12:05
it was right, but it wasn't. Actually that she's missing a lot of
12:09
the context because she doesn't like Kim. She doesn't like him, she's never
12:13
liked her. She's never liked the Plaths because they remind her so much of
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her own family. So I think she's got some bad intentions. I think
12:20
she has some bias. I think Kim has some subs behavior, and I
12:24
totally the truth lies somewhere in the middle. I don't trust either of them.
12:28
Nope. Then we get to Maria. Mariah also has her own apartments,
12:33
so those chicks are good. Yeah, and she's super happy. She
12:35
has a dog named black Jack. He's a Doberman. He's a big boy,
12:39
cute, almost weighs as much as her. Yes, she's very thin.
12:43
She's really thin. I don't want to like comment on her body because
12:48
I think she's always been very thin. But she's very thin. I don't
12:50
she looks like a vampire. I know the clothes that she wears all black,
12:54
and then this red fucking lip and this white hair. I'm like Jesus
12:58
Christ interview with a vampire. That's her aesthetic, because you could see in
13:01
her little loft apartment it was all black and red. It was like,
13:03
there's not a lot of stuff in there. No, there isn't. So
13:07
she has moved the fuck out of Ethan and Olivia's dump of a house props
13:11
in Tampa, Florida, and she's pissed off. She's pissed off because Olivia
13:16
has said on national television that her mother is a credit card thief. And
13:20
she's just over it because if you recall Raccoons last season, Olivia was pulling
13:24
some horseshit. She loves so much horship not showing up at the grave site
13:28
of Joshua, their deceased brother. They were going to Jamaica, and she
13:33
was making a stink about the family. Yeah, they went to the river
13:37
and she made another stink about the family and made it hard for everybody to
13:41
try to come together during this difficult divorce. She was pulling mad shenanigans and
13:46
Maria in all her them peric Beauty is over it. Oh, she's so
13:52
over it. And she says that Olivia was taking parts of that story and
13:56
only giving half of the truth. On so I'm like, okay, so
14:01
maybe part of what Olivia was saying is true, but again it's missing context.
14:05
Interesting, and then Maria says that she doesn't feel guilty for saying this,
14:11
but she's straight up done with Olivia. She's like, I love you,
14:15
but I wish she the best, but I'm done with you. Like
14:18
we were friends for a while and it's done, right. So I'm like,
14:20
hey, props girl, Yeah, I love that you don't need to
14:24
be around toxic people in your life raccoons now. Maria also said that she
14:28
reached out to Ethan and Olivia while they were galivanting around Europe to talk to
14:33
them about moving out, but they never returned her calls after on Red and
14:39
so she's like, okay, just piece out. I'm getting that here.
14:41
I'm gonna leave, And so she does, and she leaves before they even
14:43
come back, and later it's revealed from Ethan that I guess she told them
14:48
she would stay for a couple of weeks after they got back, but she
14:50
just decided to piece out, Like why would you though, Like, you
14:54
hate this bitch who added your mom as a credit card thief, and you
14:56
believe that your mom didn't do that. Yeah, why would you stay there
15:00
to have some awkward turtle conversation night after night with this malignant narcissist who's just
15:05
like your mom exactly, I would be. And your dumb brother who doesn't
15:09
do the right thing and he doesn't stand up for you at all because he's
15:11
backing up Olivia because of her pussy and he doesn't stand up for himself anything.
15:18
He's so frustrating. Yeah, all right. Next we go to Kim.
15:22
Yeah, Kim is now living in that apartment above the dance studio.
15:28
And by the way, this is a tricked out, beautiful apartment. Again,
15:31
speaking to how much money the Plaths actually have, I want to know
15:37
what Daddy Barry does. Well, he's a transportation I don't know what that
15:41
trucker. I don't mean he's making money, that's all I know. And
15:46
also TLC obviously, but it's only been five seasons. It's not like it's
15:48
the boy. They had their rental properties as well, so they were making
15:52
money from that before, I guess. But I'm just like, that's a
15:56
beautiful apartment. I would love to be single, I know, and in
16:00
an apartment like that. So she's doing quite well. Yeah, and she
16:03
and Barry, I guess, are doing okay. She expected Barry to leave
16:10
the family farm, but he said no karma and I was like, yes,
16:15
bitch, love that. And so then she had to relocate into the
16:18
apartment and Barry as it is at home with the family, you know,
16:22
which I love. I just can't believe she assumed that she would get to
16:26
have the fucking house and all that shit. Well, I did all the
16:29
parenting for all of our children, so why can't I get to keep the
16:33
house. Why can't Barry move out? Bitch, you're the one that wants
16:34
to leave. But that's right, you're the one that wants to divorce,
16:37
so yeah, you should be the one to leave. Are initiating this entire
16:41
process. And wasn't at Mercy or one of the little kids who said why
16:44
should daddy have to leave? Last season? So foreshadowing we love a psychic
16:48
child. So she's seeing the kids. She says, it's halftime. Sometimes
16:55
they spend the night at the apartment. Sometimes they go back, and I'm
16:57
like, I smell maybe ten percent of the time, Oh for sure.
17:00
I don't think the kids are over there a lot. And I guess they
17:03
come over for schooling. So maybe she offers for them to stay the night,
17:07
but then they're like, no, I'd rather go home. I'd rather
17:10
be home with dad. Why is Barry still sending his children to be schooled
17:15
by Kim? It has already been established that she didn't get her children to
17:19
the necessary standards that they could even pass a geed. Right, Well,
17:23
he's working, though, But you're the dad though, And yeah, and
17:27
both of these Ethan said, and Micah said, like you could have taught
17:30
us more. I could have done a better job, Like I was very
17:33
ill equipped to be in the world as an adult. And Barry still isn't
17:38
doing anything. He's still sending his kids to Kim's apartment for schooling. That
17:44
bitch. I know, that's a really good point. I don't know why
17:45
he's doing that. I'm confounded, I know. Next we go back to
17:49
Gay Perry. Yeah, and we have Ethan and Olivia in a Paris cafe
17:55
ordering breakfast and they are talking about all of the family problems. Ethan is
18:02
going to be returning to the States a week early, which is weird.
18:07
Well, yeah, I guess that Olivia has a friend somewhere in Europe and
18:11
she's going to be meeting up with that friend as he have a dick.
18:12
I know, not friend a friend have a dick, Olivia, because I'm
18:18
sniffing out some suspicious h to me. So she's going to be going to
18:22
the Netherlands with her friend, and Ethan is going to be coming back to
18:26
the States to hopefully iron out the problems all the dramas with Maria, because
18:32
I guess they know that she moved out or they know that. No,
18:36
they don't know that she's moved out yet, but they know that there's issues.
18:38
Made the post on Instagram, right, so they know that shots have
18:41
been fired, and so they're getting really upset. Ethan doesn't understand why Micah
18:47
and Maria and Isaac and Lydia made this Instagram post, because you know,
18:52
just because they're upset doesn't mean that they should take it public. But I'm
18:56
like, my guy, your way, I did it that on national television
19:00
and called your mom a credit card thief. She was the first one who
19:03
fired the shots, and so Mica and Mariah and everybody else are responding to
19:08
that. So let's not pretend, yeah, they're doing this out of the
19:11
blue, right, they're framing it this way. Because they believe what Olivia
19:17
said was true. And even at this Paris cuffee, Olivia is like,
19:19
well, I know what I said was true, and you know what I
19:22
said was true, So I just need that to be established, Ethan.
19:26
She says that to meaning go back home with this message and establish this with
19:32
your family and for the world and for the world. Yeah, to this
19:37
is my prediction. He's not going to totally. He doesn't even want to
19:40
deal with it. He's like, I wish they wouldn't have said anything.
19:41
I wish I could just put my head in the sand like some dumb turtle
19:45
and pretend that none of this is happening. Well, and he says,
19:48
is it isn't it this scene where he says we ironed it all out,
19:52
Like me, my mom, and Olivia all ironed this out to a point
19:56
where we felt like it was resolved, yes, and everything was good,
20:00
and then this came out. So I'm like, okay, Ethan, connect
20:03
the fucking dots. If you guys resolved it, why would your wife bring
20:07
it up on national TV knowing it would cause a shitster right, He's like,
20:12
so hypnotized by her siren song, you are exactly right. And we
20:18
talked about this during the reaction. So if Kim made amends, if Kim
20:21
did for some reason handle the bookkeeping incorrectly or spend money that she shouldn't have,
20:27
but then came to you, sat down with you, you guys had
20:30
a conversation and resolved and healed a sensitive family matter, why then would Olivia
20:37
put herself on national television on DLC and call her a thief? I mean
20:41
really, I mean, even if she was a thief, but you resolved
20:47
it and you fixed it, and she said I'm sorry because he's like,
20:49
we made amends, we fixed it. Even if she did something wrong,
20:53
why would you do that except to start some drama exactly. I'm not saying
20:59
Kim's right. I'm not saying that. I'm not pro Kim at all.
21:02
But Olivia is not right for doing that. No, she's not at all.
21:04
And she knows that that would have caused a problem, especially if what
21:08
Mariah is saying is true that she only gave half of the story or part
21:11
of the story. She's not giving full context on purpose. She left out
21:18
that part in season four about how they've made amends and that Kim apologize for
21:22
it. So because she is on a campaign to paint Kim in particular,
21:26
but also Barry as the worst parents in America. Exactly. That's her agenda.
21:33
Yep. And nobody can tell me any different. Nope, it's clear
21:37
as day. Okay. So before we get to Ethan arriving back at his
21:41
little dump of a house from Tampa, Florida, we do have the scene
21:45
with Barry and his kids over dinner and Barry is prepared a pot roast or
21:48
something and all of the kids are talking about how he's going to the gym,
21:53
and then we have that very creepy footage. Dude, I mean,
21:56
we saw a sneak peek before even aired, and I'm like, that's fucking
22:02
creepy. Hella creepy, But it was not nearly as creepy as seeing like
22:06
a full length scene of him doing all these exercises staring at himself in a
22:11
mirror with the weirdest fucking face. It's so, Harry, what are you
22:14
doing? Don't you see yourself in the mirror? Why are you staring at
22:18
yourself that intently and that intense I do. I'm just like, whoa dude,
22:23
that was funny, But he's Jack and I'm happy for him. Yeah,
22:27
and I can see how throwing yourself into exercise does help you not to
22:33
be depressed, because he said, like, my twenty five year marriage just
22:36
went put and I could feel that depression was on the other side of that.
22:40
So instead of sinking into that, I went to the gym with Micah
22:45
and he went like four or five times a week. Isaac says that his
22:48
friends see him all the time and that his dad is fucking jacked, and
22:52
he seems happy. Yeah, he seems like he's doing good and therapeutic for
22:55
him. So I'm happy for that. And you can tell that it is
22:57
actually affecting him somewhere deep in the compartments of his mind that he's actually pretty
23:07
sad about it. I mean why, I mean, of course you would
23:10
be. This is the woman that you built your whole life, with your
23:11
whole family with that just wants to leave you for like your realtor. Probably
23:15
that's an I think he's the realtor. I think it's that we don't think
23:18
it's the same guy. That's like it. I was on the reddits and
23:25
in the Welcome to Plaththyl subreddit and they were posting old posts from his Facebook,
23:30
and they were really effing racist, the lot of not the realtor,
23:36
like Ken Palmer, whoever she's actually dating. I don't know if that's the
23:38
realtor. I don't think it is. Oh, but he's posting on Facebook
23:42
like a boomer and like these really overtly racist posts. He seems like a
23:48
terrible person, just from what the sleuths on Reddit have found. Well,
23:52
Kim's terrible too, So I mean that's perfect and match made in head birds
23:56
of a feather made. Yeah, And there was a sweet moment where Lydia
23:59
was saying that this is a really hard time for the entire family again,
24:03
a twenty five year marriage and an entire family system being destroyed by the narcissist
24:08
that is Kim. Yeah, but because Barry is so steady and stable and
24:15
taking care of himself and showing up to parent, it's making it easier on
24:18
all the children. Yeah, that was kind of sweet, although Lydia did
24:22
kind of say something weird right there where she was like, when the head
24:25
of the household is doing well, it's like okay, okay, and Jesus
24:27
lives, we get Jesus saves, We understand that. That's where you're going
24:32
with. Okay, Then we get to Ethan coming back from Europe. He
24:37
arrives back in Tampa, Florida. He walks into his little dump of a
24:41
dump and guess what, Mariah's gone. She's left a note? Ye is
24:44
it? Song lyrics? Do you think? Do you think she was practicing
24:47
on her guitars? She was writing that? Okay, it's gonna be released
24:49
he on SoundCloud later this year. Okay. So he discovers that Maria has
24:56
absconded as she's left the dark of night. He checks her room and is
25:00
shocked that it's clean. Yeah, she's such a dirty little rat. I
25:03
mean, yeah, a little bit dirty little rat. And he's disappointed.
25:07
He's like, I thought she would be here, like you said, for
25:10
two weeks. I thought maybe we could talk. I thought maybe we could
25:12
work this out. But secretly, I'm so happy she's not here so I
25:15
can just pretend that nothing's happening and work on my cars. Of course,
25:19
he doesn't want to deal with it. He doesn't want to have the conflict.
25:22
No. Oh, he's so funny like that. He's like, I
25:26
wish I could talk. I think he's been broken, well, fundamentally broken.
25:29
Inside. Yeah and funny. Yes, Nathan comes home, who is
25:33
Olivia's brothers and streaming. He's a strange young man. You're weird. He's
25:38
so tall and he's such a sot like at us sixty seven and very introverted,
25:44
which is fine. It's not judging you. I am not trying to
25:47
be rude. He's like, yeah, she just bounced and she I came
25:51
home. Half or ship was packed, the other half was in a moving
25:53
truck and she left. She didn't say goodbye. She texted me and she's
25:57
been gone. Didn't he tell Olivia though while they were in Europe? Like,
26:00
I guaranteed, Why are you acting like, oh, I don't know,
26:04
I just do he is Olivia's co conspirator. Sure, he was down
26:11
at the river with Olivia, pretending to be so upset at all the plaths
26:15
trying to be a family. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure he told them.
26:18
So. This is probably a produced scene. It's got to be.
26:21
But he talks about his motorcycle that he bought and he wants Ethan to ride
26:25
motorcycles with him. I guess it looks like a goldwing. I don't know,
26:29
is it a goldwing? It look just like an old person, just
26:30
like an old like former vet from Vietnam. I think it a Goldwing or
26:40
something. They just I mean, it's not the most sexy motorcycle, but
26:42
you do you, Nathan, I'm just wanting to be happy, like nineteen,
26:47
like, why wouldn't you get a ling Jesus c So they go for
26:53
a bite cride and that's really cool. Yeah. We also learned though in
26:59
this scene that at Ethan and Olivia have talked and Ethan has decided they has
27:03
to go to Cairo for two and a half months yea to work on his
27:07
cars on his own, to work on his cars and get everything taken care
27:11
of before they relocate to Minnesota. Yeah, because they want to move there.
27:15
So we thought when we were theorizing in season four and even in our
27:19
recaps and stuff, because we've been seeing on Instagrams they've been in Minnesota,
27:23
we thought the whole family moved up there. So it's just Ethan and Olivia,
27:27
and I guess Ethan wants to be closer to his grandparents, but doesn't
27:30
Olivia have family up in minnesot Olivia's sister, Olivia's family is in Minnesota.
27:36
So yeah, but I did hear that Barry had relocated too, But I
27:40
guess that's wrong. And I was wondering, like, oh, how are
27:41
you co parenting? How does visitation work if you're moving to Minnesota? So
27:45
must be that he doesn't go to Minnesota. Yeah, maybe maybe because of
27:49
the little kids. Why does Ethan have to move to Cairo for two and
27:52
a half months to work on his dumb old cars in order to go to
27:56
Minnesota. Well, because he has to work on him there at his shop
27:59
and hero why why why? Well because he probably doesn't want to be around
28:03
why he doesn't want to be around Olivia. But I mean, I'm don't
28:07
understand. Well, it doesn't have a job. He thinks this is his
28:10
job to go and take care of his old cars, to do what to
28:11
then sell them? Why do you just jump him and go to Minnesota and
28:15
spend time with your wife and work on your relationship. Well this is Ethan
28:18
Plath we're talking about. And he's like borderline sexually attracted his own cars,
28:22
Like he's like so obsessed with them. He's like that guyet on my strange
28:26
traddiction. You all know what I'm talking about. I now know, and
28:30
I's very probably I know what you're talking about, Jesus crackers. Yeah,
28:33
it's probably what it is. And I mean, I wouldn't want to be
28:34
around Olivia too for two months. I've heard just whining and crying about everything.
28:40
But they just got back from Europe and had a wonderful time. It's
28:42
just kind of weird to me that your excuse is that you have to work
28:45
on your cars, bring your cars down to fucking Tampa. He can't put
28:48
him in a garage. Why he can't because there's no peace for them.
28:51
I just don't understand. This doesn't make any sense. It feels like maybe
28:55
it's a production work so that he is closer to his family, which he's
28:59
ultimately very afraid of. Ye, and he's gonna have to be faced with
29:02
dealing with what's going on in the Plath family. I don't know, but
29:07
it just doesn't seem to necessitate being away from your spouse for two and a
29:11
half months. That's fair. Next we have the scene with Maria and Micah
29:15
and Barry and Kim. Maybe this is a good place to take a little
29:18
bit of a breaky pooh yeah before we get there. Okay, so let's
29:22
take a few moments we got to pay these bills, runs ads, and
29:26
we will be back on the other side to wrap this up and then get
29:30
into nine to day, the last we storked. We are back to talk
29:37
about Welcome to Plaithville's in the blood one. Something about a daggers, something
29:41
about a knife. All right, So we have Mica and Maria going over
29:48
to the Plath family farm to have a little convo with Barry and Kim.
29:53
Yeah, but apparently Berry didn't know that Kim was gonna be there, Like,
29:56
yeah, that's what he said. He's like, Mike, m I
30:00
are in town, and apparently they wanted Kim involved. So she's here,
30:03
so we're going to be cordial. I didn't catch that. That's interesting,
30:08
Okay, So they all go outside to have a conversation. To me,
30:11
this feels very orchestrated. This total's very produced. This feels like this is
30:17
a pr moment where we're trying to have this redemption arc for Kim and try
30:22
to defend her because she's really really troubled that these accusations have been put out
30:26
there. That's what it feels like to me totally. And they've put this
30:29
preview out there too to kind of hype the whole episode up because this is
30:33
like the climax of it, all right, Mariah and Micah sit down with
30:37
Barry and Kim, and Mica first apologizes to Kim and Barry, which I
30:41
mean, I guess he shouldn't have to, but he's such a good kid.
30:44
He really speaks to like his heart that he's like, Oh, I
30:47
bought into it. Yeah, I participated in it. I was influenced by
30:51
it. And I'm sorry, yeah, sorry that I bought all of Olivia's
30:55
bowshit. Yes, And then I can't remember what they get into after this.
30:57
Well, he says that Olivia is essentially very negative. That's right,
31:02
there's just been I'm paraphrasing, there's been a lot of shit talking, and
31:04
that Ethan primarily has really absorbed a lot of this negativity. And this is
31:11
where Mariah kind of chips in and says, yeah, and it's made him
31:15
less confident, like it's really changed his personality. That was big when they
31:19
said that, because I've been feeling like that for a while. I think
31:22
Ethan's unpopular opinion. I think he's easily manipulated, and he's manipulated by Kim.
31:29
And then he's also manipulated by Olivia for a lot of reasons. So
31:33
it makes a lot of sense when they are calling this out that he's absorbed
31:37
all of this negativity from Olivia, because I'm sure she's just in his ear
31:41
all the time, being like, your parents are terrible. They raised you
31:44
horribly, and they didn't prepare you for life and all that stuff, which
31:48
part of that is true. But like Micah and Mariah have said, they've
31:52
realized over this last year or two that a lot of their upbringing was actually
31:56
pretty good. Yeah, and a lot of it was nice. And I
32:00
really appreciated that because I really think so too raised my child in an urban
32:06
jungle, you know, in the cosmopolitan kind of place, and just the
32:09
juxtaposition of being able to grow up on a farm, yeah, have acreage,
32:15
be a crunchy kind of family, super organic, cook all your own
32:19
food, grow your own food, build things right on the trees that you've
32:22
chopped down. It's wonderful that he's acknowledging that actually compared to everybody else at
32:28
a really kick ass childhood. Yeah, And he even says, I think
32:30
that was really good for my brain as a kid, just to be able
32:34
to like build things and hurt cows and run on the pastures and stuff.
32:37
And so I think that's great that he admitted that. And I've been seeing
32:40
some people on the reddits and stuff say that that's just part of his brainwashing,
32:45
and I'm like, no, he can, I don't think so acknowledge
32:46
the good parts of his childhood, Like, there were some good parts of
32:50
it. Obviously. The bad parts were that Kim and Barry restricted them so
32:53
much that they didn't know anything about pop culture or anything about real life and
32:58
how to use ATM and how to do things and get their ged. But
33:02
most of it was still good. And well, I don't know about most
33:05
of it, because there's also the underbelly of fundamentalist Christianity, yeah, and
33:09
the culty kind of stuff. So there was Yin and there was Yang,
33:14
but he is acknowledging that compared to most kids, he had a pretty great
33:19
life. Yeah, and he learned things that most kids don't get to learn
33:22
in this day and age because they're constantly on their phone, right or they're
33:25
plugged into something, and he didn't have that. So I loved to see
33:29
it. This is where we also have Maria talking about Olivia and that essentially
33:35
she's saying Olivia uses lies and makes up narratives in order to validate her big
33:40
emotions and her big reaction to primarily Kim, because she doesn't like Kim,
33:46
and because she's struggling inside of herself with how much she hates her. Because
33:51
she uses the word yea, because she's struggling with how much she hates Kim.
33:54
She has to make up these stories to get everybody else roped into that
33:59
narrative to hate her too, to justify her bad behavior, which makes a
34:02
lot of sense, especially with how she acted at the end of season four
34:07
with not going to Joshua's fucking funeral all because she just didn't want to be
34:10
around Kim, right, Like that's crazy girl and the river trip and everything.
34:15
She's nuts. Mariah also says that she feels like it's okay if we
34:21
have, like a difference of opinion. It's okay if you don't like the
34:23
way somebody was raised, or if you don't agree with their religious belief like
34:27
you don't have to hang around with them. Nobody's asking you to do that.
34:30
But what's not okay is for you to try and turn the family against
34:36
each other on this weird campaign that you have to destroy him and Barry.
34:39
Yeah, And what's also not okay is that you don't support our relationships with
34:44
our parents if we're trying to make things better or work on things. And
34:47
it seems like at least Barry has changed a bit, Like I don't know
34:52
about him. She's still pretty terrible, but it seems like Barry's changing for
34:55
the better. And he says in this episode he's trying to live a life
34:59
more full of love and happiness and not be so condemning, which is gig
35:04
for him. So and we see in the preview he's dranking, yeah,
35:07
which is great. So, I mean, people can change. But I
35:10
really liked that she said that I do too. And this is what segues
35:14
into Kim saying basically that she saw the Instagram post that all of the kids
35:20
made and that it brought her to tears, not in the scene, but
35:23
not in the scene. And I was talking about this in the reaction,
35:27
like I was trying to tap into Kim in this moment, and it felt
35:30
really put on in performative to me, like I didn't feel her feeling anything.
35:35
I really really think that she was behind the Instagram post. I really
35:38
really think she was behind this scene in particular so that they could have this
35:44
conversation so that everybody believes that I didn't steal from Ethan. And I'm so
35:46
emotionally touched because look, my whole family is standing by me. It felt
35:51
really shallow to me. It did feel really shallow, But that could also
35:53
be the booze talking. I'm just saying she blew up point one six on
36:00
her Dui girl. That's doubled illegal, but not in this moment. I
36:04
don't think she's drunk in this moment. I don't think she has necessarily like
36:07
a pervasive wet brain, so she's always like dealing with an alcoholic brain.
36:10
I think she's drinking. I think she's parting, But in this moment,
36:14
I think she's putting on for the cameras. Yeah, I think she wants
36:16
everybody watching all of the raccoons to believe that she would never steal for me.
36:22
Eithen never. I personally, my vibe vibe check my personal vibe on
36:28
this is that she took advantage of Ethan. It might not have gone as
36:32
far as I went on like a shopping spree and I made Ethan pay for
36:37
it. But like maybe paying for things and not telling him about it,
36:43
maybe not giving him as much money as he was owed. I can see
36:45
her doing that kind of shit for sure. Probably, yeah, like taking
36:50
advantage of advantage of his naivete and his ignorance. Probably. But I don't
36:54
know the way they were framing this. When Kim was like, thank you
36:57
so much for Maria for defending me, it just felt so good for somebody
37:00
to be supporting me. It kind of felt like they were framing it like
37:05
it was only the kid's idea. Yeah. So I don't know if that's
37:07
TLC produced or what. I think it's Kim produced. I think it's Kim
37:12
produced. I mean, I could see a world where Maria genuinely wanted to
37:16
defend her mom. Yeah, but I think Maria probably called him and said,
37:20
oh my god, did you see what Olivia said? And then she
37:22
brought Mica into the conversation and they all decided that they should make a post
37:25
and defend Kim. Kim is pretending like it wasn't her idea. Maybe it
37:30
wasn't totally her idea, but I think that she had a hand in it.
37:31
That's my personal intuitive hit on that. I hope they get more into
37:36
it because Kim and are talking head like, doesn't even say anything. She's
37:38
like, I'm tired of defending myself against what Ethan and Olivia are saying,
37:43
which I guess is fair, but can't you say something? Now is the
37:46
time? Now is the time. It's a pretty serious allegation that is being
37:50
made against you, Kim, Now is the time for you to defend yourself
37:52
and say, well, actually, what this is about is this MLM right,
37:54
the payments that I was making. And she doesn't really understand how everything
37:58
was working because she was not there. Yeah, you could have said a
38:00
lot of things to defend yourself, but you chose to say nothing, which
38:04
makes me think you're shady as fun suspicious. And that's why people are siding
38:07
with Olivia now because they're looking at you and you're not defending yourself and they're
38:12
like, Okay, well, Kim, you suck, so yeah, but
38:15
I mean both things can be true at the same time. Kimkin's suck and
38:17
also Olivia can and does suck for sure. All Right. The last scene
38:22
of this episode, we have Olivia finally having returned to the States and she's
38:29
talking to Ethan in the kitchen and she's working with some laminate for the counter.
38:32
I don't know, but they're talking about how he's going to be leaving
38:36
back to Cairo or Cairo for two and a half months, and how she's
38:39
sad she doesn't want him to leave. But really, well, this is
38:43
about she's nervous, and she actually uses that words. Yes, I'm nervous
38:47
because he's going to be surrounded by family and all these people have it out
38:52
for me and paraphrasing, but that's her problem, yes, And she even
38:55
turns to him and says, well, you have it easy going up there,
38:59
because nobody's mad at you. Everybody's mad at me. Everybody's talking shit
39:04
about me, and so it's going to be difficult. And she knows that
39:07
Ethan's not gonna really say anything. He's not going to confront his family about
39:12
it. I don't think he's planning on doing it because he doesn't want drama
39:15
know how to, and he doesn't want to. He just wants to work
39:16
on his fucking plymouth cars. He's not even planning to see them. He
39:20
doesn't even think he's going to have to talk to them. No, But
39:22
she's still making the situation about herself. And it's really annoying to see because
39:25
she's just like, well, I trust Ethan. I trust Ethan to be
39:30
good, but I don't trust anybody else. I don't trust what other people
39:32
might say to him or do to influence him. And it's like, okay,
39:37
because she's going to be out of my control, because it's not just
39:40
going to be me in his ear, constantly brainwashing him, like Barry b
39:45
boot Bop said. So she's worried because he's not going to be there under
39:49
her control. And she knows then now you have Mariah, and you have
39:52
Micah, and you have Barry, and these are all very smart people,
39:54
and you have all these other siblings that are onto her now. Yeah,
39:58
And did we talk about it? I know we talked about in the reaction
40:00
how Olivia said that she apologized to Ethan when they had a very tough conversation
40:06
while they were in Europe. Did we talk about in this one? No,
40:07
I don't think we missed it. That was at the beginning, Okay.
40:09
So she says that they had a big conversation about everything that she did
40:15
last season, namely not going to the grave site, the problem at the
40:19
river, and everything else. So she was ashamed of her behavior and she
40:23
apologized to Ethan. They had this conversation and they made up. And I
40:28
asked you during the reaction, like, well, did she call Mariah though
40:30
right? Did she call Mica? Did she call the other family members who
40:35
were hurt by her actions at the river and at the grave site? And
40:38
did she apologize to them? Because my suspicion is that she did not,
40:43
And I think you're right, d I think you're right. I don't think
40:45
she apologized anybody. And she at the beginning in this episode when she said
40:49
that, she said, I apologized, but and then she says something else,
40:52
like something like, you know, they're still talking shit about me,
40:57
and they're calling what I need from a balance drees to be a leave petty,
41:01
right, So it's like she's still spinning it. Why do you think
41:05
they're talking about you because your behavior was deplorable. Yes, what you did
41:10
was cruel and it was manipulative and it was toxic AF and so yeah,
41:15
they're talking about it. And then they watched the show where you're calling their
41:19
mother a credit card thief, and that was it. That was the straw
41:22
that broke the camels back, and so they made a statement, and now
41:24
you're mad that they made a statement. And now you're getting your husband all
41:29
riled up because there was a statement that was made, and you're sending him
41:31
to Kro essentially with your tears, your big dumb tears. You're sending him
41:36
to k Row to advocate on your behalf with the message that you put inside
41:42
of him. She wound him up with the message, and now she's sending
41:45
him up to KRO. Like, I see through you, lady, exactly,
41:49
and I wish more people would see through. Or two, I'm like,
41:51
why is everybody on Reddit Olivia stands? I don't. I don't get
41:55
it, Like, I don't know where you're listening to this, if you're
41:58
listening on the audio pod, I don't know if you're watching it on our
42:00
Patreon, but wherever you work in you comment? Can you go to our
42:04
Instagram and can you comment? Like how do you feel about Olivia? Are
42:07
we crazy? I mean, are are we Lulu? No? I think
42:09
we've been seeing it. I mean we've been seeing the writing on the wall.
42:14
We watched season four first, I think that was the first season we
42:15
haven't really watched fully and now we're going back into season one and two and
42:21
three on Patreon, and we're seeing it from the very fucking beginning. It's
42:24
obvious to me. It's obvious to me too, So I'm just wondering what
42:28
your thoughts are, Like, how do you guys? Don't think anybody likes
42:30
Kim. No, it's not like because I don't like Olivia. I'm on
42:34
Kim's team. I'm not fucking terrible. I think he's a novel perst and
42:37
I think he's been lying in a lot of ways, mainly about the sugar
42:40
and alcohol. Alcohol. But I just I can't I can't see right through
42:45
Olivia, and I'm just gonna keep saying it. So I'm sorry. If
42:46
you guys love Olivia like this is on the podcast, I'm going to be
42:50
calling it as I see it. And so it's Beatrice. That's what we
42:52
do. That is what we do as raccoons in the dumpster. All right?
42:57
Do we want to talk about the preview? I didn't write anything down
42:59
about that. Do you remember the preview? There was not very much drinking.
43:02
Barry was Drinking's got a man, hun And I think it's Ken Palmer,
43:07
the realtor. I think it's their family friend because she sits down with
43:12
I think she's if she sits down with Maria and Lydia and she tells them
43:15
who she's dating, and Maria's like, I don't approve. Well, it's
43:17
not because of who it is. It's that she's dating I don't know,
43:22
and Lydia agrees we shall see. And then we see them going up to
43:24
Minnesota and Micah and Ethan in the truck a couple of times talking about a
43:29
family feud, and then we see a conversation with Ethan and Maria talking about
43:34
how Mariah is accusing Olivia of stealing from her, which I think it's bullshit.
43:39
You think it's lies or what? I think it's lies. I don't
43:43
think Olivia has any reason whatsoever to steal from Maria. I think it's for
43:46
tat. Oh you're gonna say my mom stole from you? Okay, well
43:51
what about those ear rings? Eating? Give me ball? So it's probably
43:52
one of those things. Probably that's katty. Yeah, and I can't wait.
43:57
I love it. I love everything about so good. Okay, are
44:01
you ready now? Like, let's just take a deep breath. Everybody inhale
44:05
in through the nose, exhale out through the mouth. That cleans our energetic
44:10
palette. As we get ready to dive into Jesus Crackers, the pits of
44:15
Hell, Jesus Chrisis, Jesus Christ. We're getting into ninety fiance, the
44:21
last resort this episode, and I don't even know what to say. Season
44:25
one, episode four entitled how Long Do You Last? And yes, that
44:30
is referring to what you think it's referring to, which is sex with big
44:35
Head specifically, because that's all this episode was about, with sex. So
44:39
we're going to be having conversations about sex a lot of it as it concerns
44:45
the most unappealing and unappetizing and unattractive people in the history of TLC. Now,
44:52
I've got to envision somebody like big Head or Angela or Angela so gross,
45:00
Angela's so nasty having sex and I fucking appreciate it. I felt like
45:07
it was a psychic attack. I felt really unhappy about this episode. I
45:12
couldn't even deal with it. My husband was watching with me and he's just
45:14
like, are you serious right now? Dude? It was wild. Ethel
45:19
texted me when I was at work and she was like, have you watched
45:22
the ninety Day Fiance episode yet, and I was like no, and she's
45:24
like, well, I can't spoil it for you, but it's nasty,
45:28
nasty, Oh my god. So then I watched it and I was busting
45:31
my ass laughing because it's just so cringey that you can't help but laugh.
45:37
And then I texted you and I was like, you gotta mentally prepare for
45:38
this one, girl. It was really terrible. It was really really terrible.
45:45
Jesus are scarred for life. I am. Yes. We opened the
45:47
episode with Jovi and Yara doing some yoga. Nobody nobody cares about any of
45:53
that. Jovi is still very uncertain about my future with you, Yara,
45:59
because like you're hide the fact that you're on birth control. Then we all
46:02
gather in some sort of fucking conference room to meet what was she? I
46:07
wrote it down, the pleasure positive sex educator Reba. It's a charming,
46:14
lovely lady who's here to teach. I don't know a group of thirty,
46:17
forty and fifty year olds about sex for some fucking reason, because I guess
46:23
some of them will. Some of them, in their defense, haven't had
46:27
sex ed like a Swalu. But they've had sea. Yeah, but they
46:30
have never had sex ed, so they don't know where the g spot is,
46:34
Delia. They have to be shown, they have to be told how
46:37
to have sex. Probably, I need you to guide this this whole part
46:42
of the pod, because I'm like, I'm repulsed. The older I get,
46:45
the harder it is for me to like, look at people kissing.
46:49
You're just like your daughter. I can't. If I'm thinking about the spit,
46:52
if I'm hearing mouth noises, I'm like, really, it's really disgusting
46:55
to me. And then if you add to that the big d the one
47:00
who's opening his mouth to kiss somebody, and that that person is actually concetting
47:04
in some way to kill me, I guess it is the most unsexy thing
47:08
I've ever seen in my life. You were just like your daughter because she
47:12
literally cannot watch any sex scenes in anything. She I told her about this
47:15
episode. She's like, I can't watch it. I'm not gonna be able
47:19
to watch it, Like, why it's funny, I was cringing. I
47:21
think it's hilarious, so deeply into my body that it became a key goal,
47:25
which as we call this at the reality TV cringe is a Craig Goal.
47:30
My whole body down to my punana was tensing up and convulsing. I
47:35
mean, while I'm just laughing and having a great time because you're high.
47:37
Well, no, I wasn't. Actually I watched the sober you have to
47:40
be high to wow. I watched this sober and I was enjoying every minute
47:45
of it. I thought it was hilarious. I'm so disgusting the preposterous notion
47:51
that a man like Ed I know, could just sit at a table with
47:53
a lady like Liz, who's average at best, but she's a normal person
47:58
and presumed to talk talk about sex to me, I know, as if
48:02
he has it. And then they have to rate their sex lives, and
48:06
he rates it with Liz a five out of ten. Never the first he
48:08
says, it was an eleven when we started, when we started fucking slang
48:12
in the d well. Apparently she said it was spectacular sex at the very
48:15
beginning, but then she's never had good sex. I mean, girl,
48:19
I don't know why she has such a low self esteem. It's pathetic.
48:22
At this point, I'm like, why are you with a man, because
48:25
she's a cloud goblin? There's no redeeming value to that person. Well,
48:31
I was talking to Ethel about this, though I don't mean to judge,
48:35
and she said that Liz has been married like multiple times, and she's only
48:37
thirty and she's got as damaged and so she like probably feels really low in
48:43
herself and everything. She would have to be with somebody like Ed. Yes,
48:45
but then she reveals in this group sex therapy session that apparently Ed can't
48:52
last very long because he can't thrust, because he needs like a five to
48:55
ten minute break, and she's like, I can't do that, like I'd
48:59
rather get my off office. What she says, which is gross, I
49:00
don't want to think about that, but I think it's hilarious. And it's
49:04
response to that is like, we'll just go find a different partner that he
49:07
can't take it. How about you lose one hundred pounds. How are your
49:12
five foot one and one hundred and fifty pounds overweight. I'm not trying to
49:15
judge here, but like, take some personal responsibility for the fact that you
49:17
were repulsive. Well, Delia, you're being very insensitive because he said he
49:21
just got out of back surgery and months ago, and there's like two weeks
49:24
ago. I believe her. And he's always been like this. There's never
49:29
a time, there was never a season ever where he was not like this.
49:31
He's just getting big in proportion to how he's always been a bowling ball
49:37
and eminem of a person. The audacity for you to sit there and tell
49:39
me you had sex that was an eleven. I don't think so big Okay,
49:43
big Ed with his small wiener Angela confirmed it like two episodes ago.
49:47
She's like, you can get an extension. I know a guy that can
49:52
give you a pianist extension. Well, to be fair to big Ed,
49:55
he was flacid in the hot tub, like he was erect with his thunderous
50:00
cock. I just thought I was called to be in this conversation talking about
50:07
this right now. And so Liz is saying, basically that she just has
50:10
to get off herself, that he doesn't have the goods, he doesn't have
50:14
the skills, he doesn't have the body, We don't give her any pleasure
50:17
whatsoever. And he's horrified that she's saying this in front of all these other
50:22
losers. But it's not like we didn't know it anyway. And Liz,
50:24
you are a fool. You're doing this for telc cloud, for a teal
50:28
c check. You're moving Arkansas. My girl she got married to She got
50:31
married to him last week, married big head lest So you deserve everything that
50:37
you get. You get what you settle for, and this is your life.
50:42
You have chosen it. Yeah, it makes sense now though that she's
50:44
been married a million times before. Yeah, I don't like myself. She's
50:46
got a low self esteem. But you would never go for a big no,
50:50
dude, No, dude. I didn't leave my marriages because of low
50:52
self esteem. It was because I had a lot of self esteem. Yeah,
50:55
but I don't know. I mean, I feel like Liz has maybe
50:59
a substance problem. I feel like she doesn't rink in. She definitely doesn't
51:02
feel like she's worthy. I think she's got no confidence. There's no other
51:07
reason to be with big ed No, other than you feel like you can't
51:12
do any better. Which that's probably what she thinks. That's honestly my opinion
51:15
about it. It's that's why when they break up, Mitch McConnell would be
51:19
better. Well, yeah, Joe Biden would be better for sure. A
51:21
brain dead person comatose in a wheelchair would be better. But that's why when
51:24
they break up, she's so devastated because then she's like, Wow, am
51:28
I so fucking repulsive and awful to be around that big ed, this lump
51:34
of a man won't want to be with me. Like, if you get
51:37
into the law of attraction, yeah, and you buy into yeah, if
51:39
you buy into the idea that you attract what you are, yeah, and
51:43
then you find yourself having attracted big pread, What does that say about you
51:46
as a spiritual being, as human beings? Something about him is mirroring something
51:53
within you. And maybe, Liz, maybe that's the kind of therapy you
51:58
should be getting into. Yeah, examining yourself as to why you would attract
52:01
this foul person, this foul man, this bridge troll of a man.
52:07
Then we have a swalous so dumb, and he's acting like he doesn't know
52:15
how to do sex. I mean he probably doesn't. I use my spit
52:19
to loop it up. Poor goddamn Reba is like, no, you'll give
52:22
her a yeast infection, but you're used to that. You got that in
52:25
your mouth. I'll have that in your mouth. Yeah, you had that
52:29
in your pants. Serious to yeast infections and all right, what else?
52:34
So then we start rating sex from the couples. Jovi says, I think
52:38
a six, which is so mean. It is mean because you're sitting there
52:44
with Yara, who is abjectively a beautiful woman. I'm in the most beautiful
52:49
woman you're ever going to get, Jovi with your in. So he says
52:52
six. She says eight, which I think is generous, I mean,
52:55
way too generous. They start talking about what Yara needs in order to have
53:01
pleasure. A bull sex, yeah, which is like a little bit of
53:05
foreplay, yeah, a little bit of like talk to me nicely, yeah,
53:07
maybe a little massage, right, sexual seduction. Jovi's like, I
53:12
don't feel like I should have to do all this work just to have sex.
53:15
Why do I have to do stuff to have sex? I feel like
53:17
it's not normal to have make that much effort to have sex. I'm like,
53:22
dude, you are such a fucking frat boy. But then at the
53:24
same breath, you want sex whenever you want it, Yeah, like you
53:29
never want to have to ask for it, and you wish you had more
53:30
sex. I'm just like you are wild to me and y'are even says like,
53:35
this is not pleasure, but it's not Jackhamer and you speaking about it.
53:42
He only lasts like probably ten fifteen minutes, probably a good lover.
53:47
All these people are absolutely gross. So after the lecture is over and we
53:52
learn about prostate orgasms and this and that, and I'm just like, get
53:57
me out of here right now, everybody leaves and they get is pissed.
54:00
Yes, he's embarrassed, like why did you have to say that. Nobody
54:05
else was talking about their spouse like that. Well, because you don't pleasure
54:09
Liz, because you don't do anything. She doesn't live a shit. She's
54:13
like, shut up, she does not care. Like I'm being honest because
54:16
it's therapy. I have to be honest in therapy. Oh my gosh.
54:20
So everybody has homework. I guess Liz ed do the homework have to masturbate
54:25
together, and I guess Kolani and as Suelou have to masturbate. Sep have
54:30
to masturbate separately. Kelly and Molly have to figure out how to just be
54:35
able to talk about sex because they can't even get anywhere near it, well
54:38
because they're not having any sex because she's repulsed by him now that he's a
54:43
jobless loser, right, I'm sorry. I'm a retired cop. I moved
54:46
down on your thirty years of service. I'm making a pension, I'm making
54:51
a living. Let me just have one year off, Molly, God,
54:53
I moved down to be with you, so of course I don't want to
54:55
work right now, like I'm already doing all this stuff. But then,
54:59
you know, like abusing your daughter, abusing your daughter. And then we
55:06
have Yarra and Jovi, who are supposed to just cuddle with no sex.
55:09
We'll see if Jovie can do it. No, she makes it very hard
55:14
on him later in this episode when she comes out and this is a beautiful
55:16
lake, satin row with the black row I'm presuming making lingerie underneath. Oh
55:22
totally immediately starts getting activated and he's like, how am I supposed to just
55:25
cuddle you? I mean, I just want to fuck you already? I
55:29
hate him. He's such a frat boy. Dude, what do you bring
55:31
to the table? Nothing? What do you want me? Well? Probably
55:34
money, yeah, probably a living, that's what it is. But all
55:36
she wants to do is go back to Europe. Ye find herself a European
55:38
man in a leather jacket. Yep, and get away from you. I
55:43
think they're all inventing this. That's why she showed up all sexy like that.
55:45
I'm like, this is so stupid. If you really wanted to cuddle,
55:49
you would have showed up looking ugly, yeah as fuck and sweatpants and
55:53
ship with your hair up in a bun. But she's always got to look
55:55
hot. Well, she is hot, I mean she is, yeah,
55:59
and she wants it. Then we have Klanni in a Suelou in their hotel
56:01
room and they're talking about their homework in front of their kids. I guess
56:06
for Asuelou, he calls masturbation fufu, and he feels like when he fufus,
56:12
it's bad luck, and so he's very reticent to fufu. But because
56:16
it's homework, he's gonna have to go to his hotel room. He's gonna
56:20
have to fool. He will do it. For Kolani, I can't wait
56:23
to fo foo. I'm gonna think about my other man once and I'm gonna
56:28
call him. Yeah, we're gonna foofoo. We're in a FaceTime. I'm
56:30
gonna foo foo with him. We know that. And then we have a
56:34
scene of Sulu what was later in the evening alone in his hotel room because
56:39
he's been banished by Klanni, who ates them. Essentially, she's disgusted by
56:44
him, and I'm disgusted by him because he's humping the wall in his towel,
56:49
and his towel with his peep out because it's pixelated, which means we
56:52
know TLC is trying to cover his erect penis. I'm like, what am
56:55
I watching right now? And then he starts thrusting on the corner of the
56:59
bit. I'm like, is that what you do? And then he's got
57:01
his hand on his booty. Yah, so sexy? Oh, I wish
57:06
he had a man such a Polyesian god. No, I find him to
57:12
be gross. So does then we get to Angela. Now, Angela was
57:19
not able to make it to the sex seminar. She had to have her
57:22
own private session because she has a husband who is on the iPad in Nigeria
57:28
on an iPad. I'm like, why didn't he get to go to this
57:30
though, because he's been to every other counseling session. Why can't he be
57:34
there? Well, it's because it's dedicated from them because they're long distance lovers.
57:37
It doesn't make any sense. But lovely. Reba goes to Angela's hotel
57:42
room and starts talking about their sex life, and apparently we hear again that
57:47
Michael doesn't like to masturbate because in his religion they have something against spilling your
57:53
seed. But you can go fuck other women though, like, I mean,
57:57
you're obviously cheating on Angela, of course, I mean I hope you
58:00
are food fooling over there in Nigeria. And so they have a conversation about
58:07
that, and then Reba recommends remote sexual stimulation, and so she gives Michael
58:15
an app She gives Angela a vibrator, which automatically forces us to think about
58:22
that, doesn't it, But no, her coucie thinking about it. Yeah,
58:27
with her getting pleasured via bluetooth, Michael controlling it on his well,
58:32
it's really funny though, him on the screen, him being like, I
58:37
just pressing it. So uncomfortable. Oh, I was so uncomfy through this
58:40
whole thing. And so Angela's opening her veneer teeth mouth and she sha is
58:47
so excited, so excited. Did you see her necklace that said sexy but
58:51
it's spelled sek xi. Yeah, I saw that. A couple of episodes
58:54
ago. I know that she feels that way about herself. I don't feel
58:57
that way about her in this moment or any other. She literally says in
59:00
this moment too, she's like Memo's getting her groove bag with this vibrator as
59:04
she takes it into the bathroom to immediately inserted insert it vagina. Yes,
59:10
are we inserting it into our grandma's vagina. Of course it's going into Memo's
59:14
vaginas. I'm disturbed. Yes, I'm troubled. I know this is problematic
59:19
bullshit on my television. I know. And then she gets out with a
59:22
red satin and she gets into bed. YEP. The next scene is her
59:25
saying, I feel like I got a corn cob shoved up my ass and
59:30
then it feels like there's a lump on my couchie. Wait what she has
59:32
something in her ass? That she said it feels like she's got a corn
59:36
Did she put something in her ass? Don't know if she put it up
59:38
her ass or if she put it in or couchie, but she can feel
59:40
it in her ass. I don't know. I don't know what satin.
59:46
I don't know why I can share this planet with other people like this I
59:51
feel like I'm better than all these people. We are why are we sharing
59:54
oxygen with these people? So then he starts vibrating her. Yeah, because
1:00:00
she's in her pink satin gown and she's waddling around with it in her couchie
1:00:06
to get into bed because they're going to have sexy time. And she's laying
1:00:10
in the bed. Delia, She's laying in the bed and he's vibrating it,
1:00:15
and she's moaning in ecstasy. Oh God, why you saw those scenes
1:00:20
right? Or did you look away? I was looking away? Okay,
1:00:22
I mean I was glancing and looking away, and everyone's in a while glancing
1:00:27
and looking away. In the scenes, they have like different audio because it's
1:00:30
like her being like like laughing and doing her swamp pag cackle. It's that,
1:00:37
but the scene is not that, Like you can tell it's her in
1:00:42
bed actually moaning. Yes, like, actually, it was horrid, emburrassed
1:00:49
watching that. Shut yourn. I'm serious, It's truly terrible. So that's
1:00:53
the stuff of nightmares, but horrifying. Michael does say though, that he
1:00:59
likes this bluetooth thing because he can pleasure her from long distance, and he
1:01:04
thinks he likes that, and I'm like, yeah, because you don't have
1:01:06
to actually pleasure, don't actually have to do anything. And when Rebo recommends
1:01:09
him having a sleeve on his thanks, I'm good. I don't need it
1:01:16
from Angela, No, not at all. I'm getting it from the other
1:01:20
ladies here. Oh lord Jesus. The last scene in this episode was Molly
1:01:24
and Kellie having that separate session with that one therapist and they're talking about their
1:01:31
relationship and Molly's not budget. No, she's not happy. She does not
1:01:37
like that Kelly didn't work when he went to Georgia, didn't support her in
1:01:42
the way that she felt she needed it, didn't take things off of her
1:01:45
plate to make her life easier. And Kelly's getting really upset and he's like,
1:01:50
I can't sit here while she's lying. Yeah, which is interesting.
1:01:54
I wonder if she is, because I kind of feel like Molly is lying.
1:01:58
I think she is. I think she wants to put him down because
1:02:00
she's kind of a terrible person because she says he doesn't support her mentally,
1:02:06
emotionally, physically, sexually, financially, like all of these things, like
1:02:08
he's so terrible to her, and I'm just like, wow, all because
1:02:12
he retired from being a cop, which you knew about because he was relocating
1:02:15
to me with you for some reason. Yeah, I'm wondering what he thinks
1:02:20
she's lying about, though. Maybe he's alluding to the fact that they have
1:02:23
this big falling out because he allegedly assaulted her daughter, who was by the
1:02:28
way, acting out and is just a known terror. Oh really Yeah,
1:02:30
she's got big fucking mouth and she's been arrested a couple of times for drugs
1:02:36
like fentonyl Like, she's a bad seed. So I can kind of see
1:02:39
him getting into an altercation with her, and so maybe he really wants to
1:02:44
talk about the actual problem. And Molly's pretending that I'm mad because he sat
1:02:47
around on my couch and didn't mode the lawn and he's lazy, And he's
1:02:51
like, I'm not going to sit here and pretend that this is what is
1:02:53
wrong in our relationship if she's not going to tell the truth that I'm out.
1:02:57
He actually starts crying. Yeah, and he gets up and walks away,
1:03:00
which is I'm like, dude, just sit there and have the therapist
1:03:04
try and mitigate this and try and talk about it, like doctor Orna on
1:03:07
couples therapy. But this is ninety day fiance, so we're talking right,
1:03:10
yeah, right. So he ends up walking away and we're at the same
1:03:15
place that we were last week and the week before that and the week before.
1:03:20
They hate each other. Kid, He doesn't want any actual resolution.
1:03:23
She just wants to put him down and shame him. Yep, And he
1:03:27
just wants to check yep. Of course. Then we get to the preview
1:03:30
for next week and we see Big Ad getting past life regression, in which
1:03:35
he sees himself in a leprochron costume buried. He is telling that as a
1:03:40
joke. Dude, he has not taken that seriously. It's really dumb.
1:03:44
It's really scraping the bottom of the barrel for reality television. But the fact
1:03:49
that he would say that he was ultimately, I think ultimately what he's going
1:03:52
to say is that he performed in a circus. Yeah. The fact that
1:03:55
that's what he would choose, I'm like, that's pretty spot on. Yeah,
1:03:59
I could see you doing life. We see Angela and maybe Liz or
1:04:02
Yara or some other nondescript woman talking to Kolani about Klanni's homework of masturbation and
1:04:09
who she was thinking about, that's right. Colanie's like, I did it
1:04:12
twice, yeah, and Angela's like, yeah, but who are you thinking
1:04:15
about? Not Asulu? Not Asulu. Then we see Kelly Aswelou and Jovi
1:04:20
seemingly plan to steal away and go to the strip club. Yeah, because
1:04:26
the Suelo has never been to a strip club. And watch Klanni get mad
1:04:29
about that. She watch no, I think she's getting mad all the audacity
1:04:33
she will. I think she will totally get mad about it. Even though
1:04:35
she's repulsed by Azuelo, wants nothing to do with him, She's only thinking
1:04:40
about her new man's She's probably damning him on Instagram because she only literally face
1:04:45
timing him doing her homework at masturbation with this dude, for sure, with
1:04:47
her kids in the other fucking room. Oh, she didn't care what Colini.
1:04:50
Absolutely so, she's it's probably gonna just be drama. It's gonna be
1:04:55
so stupid, it's gonna be dumb. I don't even think they're gonna make
1:04:57
it to a strip club, but it's something kind of don't know if they
1:05:00
will. Maybe production will facilitate that, but it's kind of fucked up of
1:05:02
Jovi because he knows how much this in particular bothers Yara. Well, what
1:05:09
trophy doesn't care? Remember he went to the strip club on their anniversary anniversary,
1:05:13
dude, which was really horrible. Ye, And it's a deep offense
1:05:16
and an insult to her. And so he's going to go during marriage counseling
1:05:20
retreat to a strip club because he's addicted to seeing naked ladies. Dude,
1:05:25
he's a terminal bachelor. He's probably got HPV or some shit. Oh probably,
1:05:30
yikes. At least herpies, herpies. God, at least got that.
1:05:36
Oh God, that's the worst of them, out of all of them.
1:05:39
I would hate to have herpies. Well, he's a manhore HPV two.
1:05:42
You can't cure that, I know. I mean, at least give
1:05:45
me chlamydia. I can take a pill and get rid of lamydia. But
1:05:46
Jesus Cracker, no, all these people are repugnant. They're so cross.
1:05:50
And thus concludes a recap of nine do I feel to the last before?
1:05:56
It's a dumpster fire. It's what raccoons love to eat. Trash. Yeah,
1:06:00
what are we doing in a dumpster but eating garbage? I mean,
1:06:03
this is a feast for us and we thank you. I really do love
1:06:06
it. I mean, but I mean I was uncomfortable. I was craigling.
1:06:11
Oh my god. I was deeply, deeply unhappy with this episode.
1:06:14
It was hilarious to me. Well, I'm married to my daughter. My
1:06:18
daughter's a lot like me, and so I can see her being like,
1:06:20
I'm out. She's like I can't, don't even tell me. She's like,
1:06:24
it's cringing. It makes me uncomfortable just hearing about same page, all
1:06:30
right, everybody. So, thus concludes our entire episode, and we talked
1:06:33
about Welcome to Plathville. We also talked about day Fiance. Now, don't
1:06:38
forget we have a YouTube, and so if you're listening to this, definitely
1:06:41
go to our YouTube, give us a like comment, and subscribe. We're
1:06:45
trying to grow our chapel over there. Yeah, and we will be back
1:06:48
next week again to talk about Sister Wives and probably react to Sister Wives.
1:06:54
Be back on Monday or Tuesday for that. And is there anything else that
1:06:58
we need to say to these beautiful full back close up? Well, if
1:07:01
you love our podcast, I would hope that you give us a glowing five
1:07:05
star review on your favorite podcast platform. It really helps us grow the pod,
1:07:11
so we really appreciate it. Thank you so much and until next time, peace found