Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #209 Tanya Hennessy - Seven-Year Fertility Journey

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#209 Tanya Hennessy - Seven-Year Fertility Journey · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Ah, Matt, when you were trying to get pregnant with Oscar,
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: not like you and April and Macy as well, do
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: you remember roughly how long it took each time for
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: April to full pregnant?
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: It was quick.
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: How many attempts, best ten seconds of a life. And
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: that was for both of them. That's combined, that's combined.
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: That's what some time left over.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: Sorry, it was question how long did it take for
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: April to full pregnant with Oscar? And then Macy?
• 0:43
  Speaker 4: I remember April and I decided to start trying, and
• 0:47
  Speaker 4: you know, I was one of the lucky ones.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: Thankfully it was pretty quick.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: Yeh know us as well. I think I think it
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: was kind of straight away. And I say lucky ones
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: because for some people it is a much longer, more
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: difficult journey. Tanya, for her, it took almost seven years.
• 1:03
  Speaker 4: Seven years of IVYF is a hell of a stretch,
• 1:07
  Speaker 4: and emotionally, physically, I just don't even.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: Imagine exactly right.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: But the story has a happy ending.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: The story does have an happy ending, a miracle child,
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: if you will.
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: We're talking about author and comedian Tanya Hennessy, who's made
• 1:20
  Speaker 4: no secret of her struggles to become a mum.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: But now she does have beautiful little Scottie, and it's
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: amazing to see her become a mom because I've known
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: Tanya for a long, long, lung lung lung, long, long, long,
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: lung lung, long time, and I've followed every step of
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: the way, hoping.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: Like a shilker.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: I was going to say, like a good friend, but
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: you have such a way with words like beautifully put.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: But it's amazing to see her become a mom. So
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: I can't wait to hear about what life is like
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: now for her and her partner Tom, now that I've
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: got an eight.
• 1:53
  Speaker 4: Week old, Yeah, I kind of can't wait for her
• 1:54
  Speaker 4: take on what not to say to a new mom.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: Let's get into it. Welcome back to two voting dads
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: and one dating mom. I'm Mattie Jay. I thought you're
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: gonna say a fake name.
• 2:05
  Speaker 5: I was hoping I was going to say Michelle.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:08
  Speaker 6: I used to say my name was Michelle at Barrs
• 2:09
  Speaker 6: when I didn't like guys to tell my friends to
• 2:12
  Speaker 6: get me out of there. Michelle bars hitting on me.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: A bar is where you go my drinks?
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: You can dance, shut the funk out.
• 2:22
  Speaker 6: Okay, I've not been to one of those in very
• 2:24
  Speaker 6: long time. I used to go to bars and pubs.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: I'm sober. Oh.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Yes, this is a podcast all about parenting. It is
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: the good, it is the bad. And if you come
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: for advice, we don't do it.
• 2:40
  Speaker 6: Oh my god, thank god, I can't do it.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: Actually I have no we do, like, let's be honest,
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: we're like, we'll never do it, and then we're always like,
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: and the thing about being a parent.
• 2:49
  Speaker 6: Is what we need to do more of is But
• 2:51
  Speaker 6: I'm happy to take it at this point, to be honest,
• 2:54
  Speaker 6: I'm like, what am I doing?
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: And yeah, look, we'll try and give you some helpful
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: to go on. But I would say helpful loosely.
• 3:02
  Speaker 6: Yeah, well that's fair.
• 3:03
  Speaker 4: But we do start these episodes with one simple question,
• 3:07
  Speaker 4: and it is this as follows. Do you recall the
• 3:11
  Speaker 4: most trouble you got in as a child.
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: Yes, I was a little shit I can imagine, so, yeah,
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: that's what.
• 3:20
  Speaker 5: I want to hear.
• 3:20
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I kidnapped my sister because my parents weren't paying
• 3:23
  Speaker 6: me an appetation.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: Literally it was such a you say kidnap, So do.
• 3:32
  Speaker 6: You remember Blinky Bill? I don't know. If you remember
• 3:34
  Speaker 6: Blinky Bill big fan. Yeah, yeah, but if there's gen
• 3:37
  Speaker 6: Z's listening, they're.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: Like, who the fuck is that they're missing out?
• 3:40
  Speaker 6: Yeah, it was a cartoon that it was created. It
• 3:42
  Speaker 6: was like an Australian when it was about this koala
• 3:45
  Speaker 6: named Blinky Bill and he used to have like a rocksack, yeah,
• 3:50
  Speaker 6: band with a stick, and so he.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: Was part of a gang member is a gang banger?
• 3:55
  Speaker 6: It was more like a family character. Red is a blood?
• 4:02
  Speaker 6: What was the kid? I used to try and do
• 4:03
  Speaker 6: the accent. Do you remember Blinky Bills? I remember the
• 4:06
  Speaker 6: accent accent Blinky Bill.
• 4:08
  Speaker 5: Oh my god, straight away my head went.
• 4:11
  Speaker 6: And they were mid feet anyway, because I really want
• 4:12
  Speaker 6: to be a voiceover artist. Anyway, that didn't work out.
• 4:14
  Speaker 6: God loved me. But I made a rucksack Blinky Bill vibes,
• 4:19
  Speaker 6: got a stick red Bandanna put some snacks in it
• 4:22
  Speaker 6: and I was like, Mom, look how cute I am.
• 4:24
  Speaker 6: And she was painting the house and she was like cute.
• 4:26
  Speaker 6: Didn't look up. I was like, bitch, So I've got
• 4:31
  Speaker 6: overalls on and I was doing the voice. I was like, Mom,
• 4:34
  Speaker 6: it's me Blinky and she was like, yeah, look we're
• 4:36
  Speaker 6: painting the house love. And I was like, well for that,
• 4:40
  Speaker 6: you will pay. And so my sister I was eight,
• 4:43
  Speaker 6: you no, I know.
• 4:46
  Speaker 5: And.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: When to figure out how did you away?
• 4:53
  Speaker 6: She was very easily. I was like you were half
• 4:55
  Speaker 6: of a snack and she was like, I'll take half
• 4:59
  Speaker 6: a snack. And so I was like, oh, Elena, and
• 5:01
  Speaker 6: I was like, come with me. I've got a rucksack
• 5:03
  Speaker 6: and a dream and we could live for at least
• 5:05
  Speaker 6: fifteen minutes on what I have. And I took her
• 5:08
  Speaker 6: quite a while away from our house to the lake
• 5:12
  Speaker 6: and that.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: Was, oh my god.
• 5:13
  Speaker 6: Yeah, it was quite a while. It's a twenty minute
• 5:15
  Speaker 6: walk and when you ate, like twenty minutes is three days. Yes,
• 5:20
  Speaker 6: And so we went to the lake. I took walk,
• 5:22
  Speaker 6: took the scarff off, laid it down, and we had
• 5:25
  Speaker 6: a snack. And I didn't know what else to do.
• 5:27
  Speaker 6: I was like, how long can I keep my sister
• 5:29
  Speaker 6: away before they notice? And then yeah, the police came.
• 5:32
  Speaker 6: Yeah a couple hours later, you tire up. No I didn't.
• 5:37
  Speaker 6: I just took her bed, like I didn't live in
• 5:40
  Speaker 6: a basement or anything.
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: I would say, you've done her a service, because now
• 5:42
  Speaker 4: she won't trust anyone.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: Surely She's like, you lured me away with this, so
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: for the rest of her life she's just I've never.
• 5:49
  Speaker 6: Thought about how it would have traumatized her selfish, what
• 5:53
  Speaker 6: you ever thought about you.
• 5:56
  Speaker 5: Would have thought it was at the time.
• 5:58
  Speaker 4: They would have just thought it was a picnic sound
• 6:00
  Speaker 4: the actually sounds like a delightful people.
• 6:02
  Speaker 6: True's like one on one time with my sister who's
• 6:04
  Speaker 6: deeply selfish.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: Wow, I can gas light the funk out of her
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: and be like, I used to take you on these
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: amazing expeditions to the lake and we will watch sunsets
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: and have less snacks.
• 6:13
  Speaker 6: And then a car would come with bright lights and
• 6:15
  Speaker 6: we'd get taken home a delight.
• 6:17
  Speaker 5: This is great, the safest convoy home ever.
• 6:20
  Speaker 6: I remember getting home and my mum being like Tanya,
• 6:23
  Speaker 6: like why would you do that? And I was like, well,
• 6:25
  Speaker 6: why would you ignore a child in full drag.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: With a blinky bill accent?
• 6:31
  Speaker 6: Why would you take this away from and it's me
• 6:34
  Speaker 6: sploshed anyway, I was like, really, I just I think
• 6:37
  Speaker 6: I had a big problem with the fact that my
• 6:39
  Speaker 6: sister arrived, Like I was just like I wanted to
• 6:42
  Speaker 6: be an only child so.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: Bad that my younger brothers.
• 6:51
  Speaker 6: Are you the oldest.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: I'm the middle, middle of one of five, and I hated,
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: hated the younger brothers. They're just it's tough. It's tough
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: as a kid when you're growing up and you kind
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: of realize you're no longer like the apple of your
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: parents eye anymore.
• 7:04
  Speaker 6: I was the first grandkid and I was the first daughter,
• 7:07
  Speaker 6: and so like I was sort of like famous in
• 7:09
  Speaker 6: my family, and then all of a sudden, my sister
• 7:11
  Speaker 6: was cuter, and it was like, Tanya, who.
• 7:13
  Speaker 5: You know what I mean, so so sad.
• 7:17
  Speaker 6: I love my sister. I have a brother as well,
• 7:19
  Speaker 6: like they're the best. But like as a kid, my
• 7:21
  Speaker 6: brain was like wait, what what And then it was
• 7:24
  Speaker 6: you know, it was her birthday, so she'd get presents
• 7:26
  Speaker 6: and I'd be like, oh, and I'm here with no
• 7:29
  Speaker 6: gifts at McDonald's. Nothing.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: That is one of the hardest parts of parenting is
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: when it's it's someone else's birthday and they're like, this
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: is so fucking unfair, and you're like, you had your
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: birthday two months ago, and they're like, well.
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: That's exactly what it was like when whoever's birthdays they
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: opened the presence together, like it's a game with them,
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: because yeah, it was like Oscar was like, what's wrong with.
• 7:51
  Speaker 4: You, Brol It's like you don't want a Barbie dollhouse something.
• 7:56
  Speaker 6: You know. If my friend's kids have birthdays, I take
• 7:58
  Speaker 6: two now, so I take one for the birthday kid
• 8:01
  Speaker 6: and then like another present wrapped differently and be like
• 8:03
  Speaker 6: this is because of my own drama as a child
• 8:06
  Speaker 6: is so deeply cooked.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: But it's the boomers listening right now will be like
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: you're ruining birthdays as well, because we're talking about past
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: the past, and we say give everyone a gift, everyone happy,
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: they go.
• 8:19
  Speaker 5: You grew up finely.
• 8:21
  Speaker 6: I made a video about that the other day. All
• 8:23
  Speaker 6: I do is make fun of boomers on the internet.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:25
  Speaker 4: My dad tried to tell me that I don't have
• 8:28
  Speaker 4: any trauma from my childhood, and I said, my therapist's
• 8:30
  Speaker 4: bank account would beg to differ.
• 8:34
  Speaker 6: Millennials are in therapy because boomers won't go smart.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: And the quicker they die.
• 8:40
  Speaker 5: That was going to be the next sentence out of
• 8:41
  Speaker 5: my mouth.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: I love your mom so much, Tanya, I have to say,
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: And I don't know if you get sick of hearing
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: these words. But I want to say congrats, oh thank you.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: It's you know, I've I've been following for a long time,
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: and we spoke about people who follow along and feel
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: like they know you, and I do know you. But
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: then I also have watched every step of the way,
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, this is amazing.
• 9:07
  Speaker 6: It is It is cool. It's kind of like watching
• 9:09
  Speaker 6: a story unfold in real life, like a film almost,
• 9:12
  Speaker 6: except it's my life. And it's yeah, it's cool because
• 9:16
  Speaker 6: you know, when I leave the house, people will yell
• 9:19
  Speaker 6: my name or yell Scotty's name, like my baby's name,
• 9:21
  Speaker 6: and be like rats. And sometimes it's really cool, and
• 9:23
  Speaker 6: sometimes it's really terrifying. Like when it's just me, it's fine,
• 9:26
  Speaker 6: but it's her, I want to like mama, lie in
• 9:28
  Speaker 6: and like be like I'll fight you. But like, it
• 9:31
  Speaker 6: is amazing that people care enough to like remember your
• 9:35
  Speaker 6: name and remember a baby's name that they've never met,
• 9:37
  Speaker 6: or you know, like those things are real. Like no
• 9:39
  Speaker 6: one has time in the world. There's so much content
• 9:41
  Speaker 6: in the world, so for someone to know you is
• 9:43
  Speaker 6: a fucking honor. But yeah, I'm really like stepping into
• 9:46
  Speaker 6: this new part of my life and it's weird and
• 9:49
  Speaker 6: scary and wonderful simultaneously. I'm sure you guys have been there,
• 9:52
  Speaker 6: hence this podcast.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: Kids, it was ballpark seven years your journey to get pregnant.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: Did you have any time frame in your mind when
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: I stopped? Yeah? Did you and Tom talk about that?
• 10:08
  Speaker 6: Well, I've done a lot of therapy speaking of if
• 10:10
  Speaker 6: it didn't work, would I be okay? And Tom was
• 10:13
  Speaker 6: happy to call it earlier than me. He was like,
• 10:15
  Speaker 6: it's a lot.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: He's always been a quitter and I've said.
• 10:18
  Speaker 6: That, I've said that about him.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: Sorry, Tom, that was I'm so sorry. He's so fucking lovely.
• 10:29
  Speaker 6: He's like the nicest bad It's so I always say no,
• 10:37
  Speaker 6: but it's like, yeah, he is like the like the kindest,
• 10:39
  Speaker 6: but you better.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: Is so lovely. She's like ten out of ten people going.
• 10:46
  Speaker 5: To marry him.
• 10:47
  Speaker 6: Then I would marry Thomas second time. I think to
• 10:50
  Speaker 6: be in saying that having a baby definitely shifts your relationship. Sorry,
• 10:54
  Speaker 6: what we're talking about, So Tom was Tom was happy.
• 10:57
  Speaker 6: I think Tom was like sort of like after round three,
• 11:00
  Speaker 6: he was like, I'm out, ah out because he was
• 11:02
  Speaker 6: dealing with me and it was a lot.
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: How often can you do around ignorance.
• 11:08
  Speaker 6: No, No, it's a great question. You could do it
• 11:10
  Speaker 6: every month, every time you ovulate. You can do it.
• 11:12
  Speaker 6: But my rounds took longer because my eggs took longer
• 11:15
  Speaker 6: to develop, So then it was going to like the
• 11:17
  Speaker 6: eight week or six weeks, seven week, so it was
• 11:19
  Speaker 6: like sort of longer. So just depends on per person,
• 11:22
  Speaker 6: per wordy and you need the eggs to be a
• 11:24
  Speaker 6: certain level of maturity la lalla. So he was a
• 11:26
  Speaker 6: bit like I'm happy to be without kids, and I
• 11:29
  Speaker 6: was like, I've got to meet this kid. And I
• 11:33
  Speaker 6: don't like hearing the word no across the board. You know,
• 11:36
  Speaker 6: in my career, I think part of the reason I'm
• 11:39
  Speaker 6: so resilient is because I am allergic to be told no.
• 11:42
  Speaker 6: If you tell me no, it makes me fight even harder.
• 11:44
  Speaker 6: And so the doctors were like, well, we don't know,
• 11:46
  Speaker 6: and I changed doctors and I was like, now, fuck you.
• 11:48
  Speaker 6: I will have a baby and I'm gonna do it
• 11:50
  Speaker 6: and it's gonna stay, and I'll do everything to get it,
• 11:53
  Speaker 6: and I'm so glad I did. I really fought for
• 11:55
  Speaker 6: her and she fought to stay, if that makes sense, Like,
• 11:58
  Speaker 6: against all odds, this embryo survived the extreme endometriosis that
• 12:04
  Speaker 6: I have. Like, she fought to be here and like
• 12:07
  Speaker 6: I look at her, I'm like, you were such a
• 12:09
  Speaker 6: warrior and you don't even know how fierce you are.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: Did you have a number in your head of like
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: we'll get to double digits, ten rounds and that'll be it. No.
• 12:16
  Speaker 6: I was like, I'll just go until I have to stop.
• 12:18
  Speaker 6: I'll just do enough sponsored content to afford it.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: I will sell as many Riddle drugs as possible.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: You sell it off to me.
• 12:28
  Speaker 4: You mentioned before with your therapist, with those sessions, do
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: they ever talk about coming to terms with no?
• 12:35
  Speaker 6: Yeah, Oh, all of it was that. Yeah, And it
• 12:37
  Speaker 6: was sort of like I think I had come to
• 12:39
  Speaker 6: a point where I would have been okay. So then
• 12:41
  Speaker 6: now that she's here, I've had to re so my
• 12:44
  Speaker 6: whole pregnancy. I didn't think I was pregnant. That sounds
• 12:46
  Speaker 6: really weird. I never said I'm pregnant. I know that
• 12:48
  Speaker 6: I was very publicly pregnant. I know I was pregnant. However,
• 12:51
  Speaker 6: there's a missing link somewhere there because I still feel
• 12:54
  Speaker 6: like ah, because when she came out, I was like
• 12:56
  Speaker 6: fucking shocked. I was like, what the hell, she's real.
• 13:00
  Speaker 6: She's here, and I like, you should see the pictures
• 13:04
  Speaker 6: of me when she is shown to me, and I'm like,
• 13:07
  Speaker 6: see section. So she's pulled out, you know. I'm like,
• 13:10
  Speaker 6: she's and Tom was the same. It's like there's a
• 13:12
  Speaker 6: level of dissociation and disconnection and self protection that sort
• 13:15
  Speaker 6: of is surreal, and I still feel a level of that.
• 13:20
  Speaker 6: I'm like, god, I guess you guys probably still feel that, like,
• 13:22
  Speaker 6: oh my god, I can't believe I made you and
• 13:24
  Speaker 6: you're here in your.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: No, I believe it.
• 13:26
  Speaker 6: He's there experienced.
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: It is different.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: It's really hard to comprehend to be like, oh, my
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: little sperm, yeah, and Laura's egg made you and you're
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: like those kind of moments I can't really understand and
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: it blows my mind. But I'm like, oh, well, I'm
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: gonna change you nap now, so move on quickly.
• 13:46
  Speaker 6: Yeah. And I think just through the process of IVF,
• 13:49
  Speaker 6: you just like so when they put it in you
• 13:51
  Speaker 6: like the embryo, it goes in at the top, very
• 13:54
  Speaker 6: pin prick of a needle, right, and you're having a conversation.
• 13:56
  Speaker 6: It goes in, and then nine months later she comes
• 13:59
  Speaker 6: out and it's like that is just such a huge
• 14:02
  Speaker 6: concept to rationalize. And also that I was stuck at
• 14:05
  Speaker 6: embryo phase, like trying to get the embryos to be
• 14:07
  Speaker 6: embryos because my egg quality was really bad, so I
• 14:10
  Speaker 6: could barely get embryos for seven years and then one
• 14:13
  Speaker 6: day it's a baby, Like that is a hut. And
• 14:17
  Speaker 6: so a lot of the first couple of weeks of
• 14:19
  Speaker 6: being a parent have been going undoing all the work
• 14:22
  Speaker 6: I did in therapy and all the work I was like,
• 14:25
  Speaker 6: I was telling myself, if she doesn't come, it will
• 14:27
  Speaker 6: be okay, because I've known a lot of people to
• 14:30
  Speaker 6: have still words, So there was like yeah, and still
• 14:34
  Speaker 6: to this day, I'm like, I'm paranoid that, Like I've
• 14:37
  Speaker 6: got my hand on her chest all the time. I'm like,
• 14:39
  Speaker 6: is she breathing? And like, I'm sure a lot of
• 14:41
  Speaker 6: people can relate to that.
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean the early days for sure.
• 14:45
  Speaker 4: I mean for you and your story with IVF, it's like, yeah,
• 14:48
  Speaker 4: like you said a pinprick. Now it's a baby, and
• 14:50
  Speaker 4: you're like this big protector is I could make sure
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: everything's okay. But I think like even when we first
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: had our kids, there was a level of that where
• 14:57
  Speaker 4: there was like this thing where you'd go in to
• 15:00
  Speaker 4: check on it. They're napping, and then you'd be like,
• 15:01
  Speaker 4: I just check it for they're breathing really quick, and
• 15:03
  Speaker 4: then they accidentally wake up. You know, yeah, yeah, there
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: is I get where you're coming from, but yeah, I can't.
• 15:07
  Speaker 4: I can't imagine like how you put it. You articulated
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: it quite well where it's like a prick turned into this.
• 15:13
  Speaker 5: It's such a.
• 15:14
  Speaker 6: You know, yeah, conceptually it's wild. And then that's the
• 15:17
  Speaker 6: same baby that was kicking me, And that's the baby
• 15:20
  Speaker 6: that that heartbeat that I heard for the first time,
• 15:23
  Speaker 6: because I've never heard a heartbeat before, And you know,
• 15:25
  Speaker 6: you go in all the time and you're hoping for it,
• 15:27
  Speaker 6: and you get to the calls sorry it didn't work,
• 15:28
  Speaker 6: Sorry it didn't work, So it didn't work, and then
• 15:29
  Speaker 6: you're hearing a heartbeat and it's like, oh, and this
• 15:32
  Speaker 6: heartbeat is now looking at me and smiling at me.
• 15:36
  Speaker 6: You know, it's so surreal.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: How many weeks were you when you announced it publicly?
• 15:41
  Speaker 6: Seventeen or eighteen? Like I was quite far along, and
• 15:44
  Speaker 6: I still could have kept it a secret for longer
• 15:47
  Speaker 6: because I just I was so scared of it announcing
• 15:49
  Speaker 6: it not happening. But then I came to realization of, like,
• 15:53
  Speaker 6: if I don't announce it, it's dystopian.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: I have to say, why do you think that?
• 15:58
  Speaker 6: Because it was all it was all in my head,
• 16:00
  Speaker 6: and everything was in my head. It was too much
• 16:02
  Speaker 6: in my head, and like I felt like I was
• 16:04
  Speaker 6: keeping secrets all the time. Yeah, because I was really
• 16:06
  Speaker 6: sick as well. I kept throwing up all the time,
• 16:08
  Speaker 6: and then at work and I was trying to like do
• 16:11
  Speaker 6: public facing stuff and just like I couldn't do things
• 16:14
  Speaker 6: because I was I had the worst morning sick. How
• 16:16
  Speaker 6: long did you have money sit for like twenty weeks?
• 16:19
  Speaker 6: I was so one well and being funny when you're
• 16:23
  Speaker 6: sick it is cooked, and not having an excuse because people.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: Just yesterday I went for a ride l time. It
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: was a bit funny, and I had to pick the
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: kids up from after school care.
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: You're so strong, brother, I had cript and she.
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: Was like, how are you?
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, I'll be better.
• 16:42
  Speaker 6: I was so tummy. No, I get it. It's the same. Actually,
• 16:48
  Speaker 6: it's basically feel good today, God, thank God. And I
• 16:51
  Speaker 6: was going to check in.
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: For anyone.
• 16:55
  Speaker 6: My fightal flight just got triggers, so had I.
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: Am of.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: I think one thing that I.
• 17:03
  Speaker 6: Could go on out. Fuck, I miss sleeping. So after
• 17:06
  Speaker 6: forty years of like, you know, just doing your own thing,
• 17:08
  Speaker 6: then to not sleep and not have you know what
• 17:11
  Speaker 6: I mean, it's like a bit of.
• 17:12
  Speaker 4: A do you know what the best is when like
• 17:14
  Speaker 4: they're just having that one midday nap and you can
• 17:16
  Speaker 4: nap with them.
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: Oh oh that must be yeah.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: But one thing that I didn't really think about for
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: someone in your situation is that for seven years, one
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: thing that's really bonded you with a certain community are
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: the people who are trying to have kids but haven't
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: been able to. And the fact that you all have
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: a similar situation that brings you guys together. It galvanizes you.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, the magic happens you
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: are pregnant, and then you in a sense and no
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: longer part of that community. How was that level of detachment?
• 17:48
  Speaker 6: Well, man, I felt so guilty, Like that's that's another
• 17:51
  Speaker 6: reason maybe why I wanted to conceal the pregnancy for
• 17:55
  Speaker 6: a longer time, because I felt bad, you know. I
• 17:58
  Speaker 6: was like, oh, but like, no one wants to be
• 18:00
  Speaker 6: in the infertility community. None of us want to be
• 18:03
  Speaker 6: in the endometriosis community, none of us want to be
• 18:04
  Speaker 6: in the cancer you know, Like none of us want
• 18:06
  Speaker 6: to be in these communities, but they form and galvanize
• 18:09
  Speaker 6: you for a reason. And you need to have people
• 18:12
  Speaker 6: like someone in the media who can speak loudly and
• 18:15
  Speaker 6: advocate for you and change conversations around infertility. So I
• 18:19
  Speaker 6: felt like I was doing some good work, you know,
• 18:21
  Speaker 6: even though I didn't necessarily want to be the face
• 18:23
  Speaker 6: of infertility. It felt like I was doing something and
• 18:25
  Speaker 6: changing stuff. But then, yeah, when I became pregnant, I
• 18:27
  Speaker 6: almost felt guilty. But at the same time, I had
• 18:31
  Speaker 6: to keep telling myself, like, this is what we all want,
• 18:36
  Speaker 6: and I did seven years. I paid my dues, you know,
• 18:40
  Speaker 6: and I will always continue to advocate four people going
• 18:43
  Speaker 6: through that, and I will always have the scars of infertility.
• 18:46
  Speaker 6: It's not like you just have a baby and go
• 18:47
  Speaker 6: well on the other side. Now, Nope.
• 18:49
  Speaker 4: What was the reception like when you've broken news to
• 18:52
  Speaker 4: them that were the amazing news, obviously that you're pregnant.
• 18:55
  Speaker 6: Do you remember that, Well, it was on the cover
• 18:57
  Speaker 6: of a magazine because you know, I'm a subtle woman.
• 19:00
  Speaker 5: That's pretty sad.
• 19:01
  Speaker 6: It was like the most obscene thing, and I had
• 19:04
  Speaker 6: a lot of hate, Actually, what do you and you
• 19:07
  Speaker 6: don't know whenever does it publicly, it's always in the
• 19:09
  Speaker 6: dms and the emails, which I irritates me more because
• 19:11
  Speaker 6: I'm like, if you're gonna have a crack, do it publicly.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: What was that feedback?
• 19:18
  Speaker 6: I was more just like, well, now you don't represent us,
• 19:21
  Speaker 6: and now it's you know, and your content's changed, and
• 19:24
  Speaker 6: you're like rubbing it in our face. And I was like,
• 19:26
  Speaker 6: I'm not meaning to do I promise you I'm not
• 19:27
  Speaker 6: meaning to rub it in your I'm just I've watched
• 19:30
  Speaker 6: every single person in my life go through this like
• 19:33
  Speaker 6: I started, and my friend has a fucking seven year
• 19:35
  Speaker 6: old man, and I don't want to be forty and pregnant.
• 19:38
  Speaker 6: I want to be thirty three when I fucking started.
• 19:40
  Speaker 6: I want to have a seven year old now, like
• 19:42
  Speaker 6: you know, like I want to like I wanted the
• 19:44
  Speaker 6: timeline to be different, and it you know, and then
• 19:45
  Speaker 6: people are like you're rubbing it and I'm like, let
• 19:47
  Speaker 6: me have my fucking bamit. But I can also comprehend,
• 19:50
  Speaker 6: fathom and feel you because you are frustrated and hurt
• 19:53
  Speaker 6: and I fucking hear you. And the worst part about
• 19:55
  Speaker 6: it is that you can't reach through the phone and
• 19:57
  Speaker 6: say I'm sorry, you know what I mean, because they're
• 19:59
  Speaker 6: angry and I've been angry too, But you know, I
• 20:01
  Speaker 6: just removed myself. Like if someone got pregnant online and
• 20:05
  Speaker 6: I was frustrated, I would just That's the best part
• 20:07
  Speaker 6: about social really is that you're in control. You can
• 20:11
  Speaker 6: choose what you see. But I was like block, I
• 20:13
  Speaker 6: can't or I mute, I can't watch this person's journey
• 20:15
  Speaker 6: yet I'm not there. Then you just refollow them.
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: It's so unfair. Fuck we didn't, I mean, to my knowledge,
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: when we announced being pregnant, no one was like.
• 20:26
  Speaker 6: How dare you? And I was so like, why don't?
• 20:31
  Speaker 6: Why do why? Like I've already gone through what I
• 20:34
  Speaker 6: have to deal with this?
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: If it's so complex, can't things not have an angle
• 20:38
  Speaker 4: and just be what they are for it's what it is?
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 20:41
  Speaker 6: Yeah, because I felt so, I did feel very guilty
• 20:44
  Speaker 6: and I continue to feel like sad and frustrated for
• 20:47
  Speaker 6: other people. And I started I did a charity thing
• 20:49
  Speaker 6: where because people are like I want to give you
• 20:51
  Speaker 6: a baby shower present, and I was like, that's so
• 20:53
  Speaker 6: lovely if you could, could you donate to the Quendo Helpline.
• 20:57
  Speaker 6: And the Quando Helpline is like a line that helps
• 21:00
  Speaker 6: people going through infertility, so that it's free and it's
• 21:02
  Speaker 6: like manned by midwives and nurses and health specialists. So
• 21:06
  Speaker 6: if you're going through infertility and you just need someone
• 21:09
  Speaker 6: to talk to, that line is available and we don't
• 21:12
  Speaker 6: need ten thousand dollars. And that felt like a really
• 21:14
  Speaker 6: meaningful conversation, but also maybe like the end of that
• 21:17
  Speaker 6: conversation for me, because I need to be able to
• 21:19
  Speaker 6: move forward for sure. And I feel a bit like
• 21:23
  Speaker 6: I still feel like am I allowed to talk about this?
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 21:27
  Speaker 6: You know, I just it's very uncomfortable still. In some
• 21:30
  Speaker 6: of the dms and emails, I get up like, yeah.
• 21:33
  Speaker 4: Because you mentioned at the start of that everyone in
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: these in these groups they want to get out of
• 21:38
  Speaker 4: that group in a way, like I mean, you essentially
• 21:40
  Speaker 4: advocated for him for so long. Yeah, I can I
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: can imagine how hurtful it might feel to get a
• 21:45
  Speaker 4: private DM saying you're rubbing in my face when all
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: you're trying to do is live your life.
• 21:48
  Speaker 6: And I was like, I promise you, I can promise you.
• 21:50
  Speaker 6: I'm not. This is not personal. It's just that I
• 21:53
  Speaker 6: never thought it was going to happen. And I'd done
• 21:55
  Speaker 6: all this work and paid all this money to see
• 21:57
  Speaker 6: this is like an internal work to be like you'll
• 22:00
  Speaker 6: just travel and be a rich aren't. And I was
• 22:03
  Speaker 6: like satisfied. I'm like, I'm going to like wear heaps
• 22:05
  Speaker 6: of ridiculous clothes, like I'm going to lean in and
• 22:08
  Speaker 6: I you know, I was like, I'm going to go
• 22:09
  Speaker 6: live in the mal dives bored. There's nothing to do there. Literally,
• 22:16
  Speaker 6: I'd be so bored. I'd be writing something straight away
• 22:18
  Speaker 6: because all I want to do is create and make.
• 22:20
  Speaker 6: And you know, I thought having a baby, potentially the
• 22:23
  Speaker 6: creation and the making might subside. No louder. I want
• 22:27
  Speaker 6: to create more. I want to create differently, and I
• 22:30
  Speaker 6: feel like my creativity is better. Isn't that interesting? I
• 22:33
  Speaker 6: never sort of saw that happening. I thought my mind
• 22:36
  Speaker 6: would go into Mattressens and I would just be solely
• 22:38
  Speaker 6: focused on him, and I am. But I've started writing
• 22:41
  Speaker 6: poetry and I've not written poetry since I was like
• 22:43
  Speaker 6: twenty one.
• 22:44
  Speaker 7: That didn't happen to me, superpowered, I just kind of alcoholism.
• 22:57
  Speaker 5: Well, my anxiety is great too.
• 23:00
  Speaker 6: I'm levitating.
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: Great.
• 23:04
  Speaker 6: But I'm writing like I'm calling it postpart and poetry.
• 23:07
  Speaker 5: That's good.
• 23:08
  Speaker 6: But yeah, I'm writing it because I'm reading a lot
• 23:10
  Speaker 6: of kids books, right, and I know you guys have
• 23:11
  Speaker 6: written kids books, and I'm writing them being like when
• 23:14
  Speaker 6: you're reading to a newborn, you're reading to yourself, right,
• 23:18
  Speaker 6: But wouldn't it be cool if the writing was like
• 23:21
  Speaker 6: in favor of you're trying to help you and you're
• 23:24
  Speaker 6: speaking it out loud and trying to help yourself through it,
• 23:26
  Speaker 6: If that makes sense. I don't know.
• 23:28
  Speaker 4: It's like tolding yourself in the mirror when you're like,
• 23:29
  Speaker 4: come on, you can read it up in a way
• 23:31
  Speaker 4: that like you're finding comfort in the words, when really
• 23:34
  Speaker 4: the book is for the baby.
• 23:36
  Speaker 6: But really for me, Like, wouldn't because I it's like
• 23:37
  Speaker 6: messages of like you've got this and it's hard, but
• 23:40
  Speaker 6: you're thriving and you're doing it and it's excellent.
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah I like that.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: So yeah, it's like when I'm watching reels and I'm like,
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: this is also for the baby.
• 23:49
  Speaker 4: Yeah, both of us my baby loves to doomcirl.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: All the like the loud noises and this is this
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: is for both of us. Now for the dance TikTok
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: you Poppy loves.
• 24:03
  Speaker 6: It, does she? We had both had babies last year, Like,
• 24:07
  Speaker 6: that's really crazy. They're five months apart, do you know
• 24:10
  Speaker 6: I think that's crazy. I still remember when you told
• 24:12
  Speaker 6: me you were having Marley, which was almost seven years ago.
• 24:15
  Speaker 6: We were working together at ten for.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: Ash and for people listening. Tanya and I used to
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: recap The Bachelor.
• 24:20
  Speaker 6: Yeah, did I have Marley then where she was pregnant?
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: Got you?
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: You didn't tell me either. I just turned up and
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: she was there and she was four.
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: But I think I think back to those early days
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: when Marley was born, and obviously I love her. I
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: love all my children. I love being a dad. But
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: at the same time, being a parent is incredibly hard
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: and a lot of what I do to my friends,
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: to my family, and especially on the podcast as I complain, Yeah,
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: I moan about being a parent. Sure, and thanks you.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: And you know sometimes when I am like fuck, I
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: had this day with one of my kids and it
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: was so hard and it all went ass up, and
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: you know, afterwards, I'm like, you do feel a bit bad,
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: You're a little bit of parent guilt. But then for
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: someone in your situation where for so.
• 25:11
  Speaker 6: Long, oh, I'm terrified of saying anything.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, Mike, but that must be so hard because
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: so much of what parenting is is just complaining to
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: other people about being a parent.
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: But one of the small reliefs, reliefs we.
• 25:22
  Speaker 5: Have that's a hobby.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: You don't have that luxury as much as.
• 25:25
  Speaker 6: We do, No, but I consume a lot of it though,
• 25:29
  Speaker 6: like I'm still witnessing it and experiencing it, but I
• 25:32
  Speaker 6: do feel like, I, Okay, having a C section was
• 25:34
  Speaker 6: not the worst thing I've ever Like people say it's
• 25:36
  Speaker 6: like really painful, like I've done like so many surgeries
• 25:38
  Speaker 6: to have her, So it's like okay, And then like
• 25:41
  Speaker 6: the fact that she's awake every fucking hour is also
• 25:44
  Speaker 6: okay because I'm not going through fucking IVF. It's like
• 25:46
  Speaker 6: I do have a comparative part of it that definitely
• 25:49
  Speaker 6: settles me a little bit, if that makes sense. So
• 25:51
  Speaker 6: it's like perspective, Yeah, perspective, I guess, because everything is
• 25:55
  Speaker 6: easier than IVF. And I had a question mark over
• 25:58
  Speaker 6: my head that just oh, that sort of like liminal
• 26:01
  Speaker 6: space of not knowing what's going to happen for seven years.
• 26:05
  Speaker 6: I know what's going to happen tomorrow. You know she's
• 26:07
  Speaker 6: going to shit herself? Great, like you do, you know
• 26:09
  Speaker 6: what I mean? But the not knowing was worse.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: But when you are exhausted because there are going.
• 26:16
  Speaker 6: To be nights when oh I am cooked to day?
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: But then who do you complain?
• 26:19
  Speaker 6: But it's my eyes to look at you? I'm not
• 26:22
  Speaker 6: because because added rough. Wow, No, like I'm real tired today.
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: Can you openly complain about parenting or do you do
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: you not do it at all?
• 26:36
  Speaker 6: Well, I don't know if I I don't know. She's
• 26:38
  Speaker 6: ten weeks old, like I'm still almost in the newborn
• 26:43
  Speaker 6: bubble still even though she's definitely not a newborn, Like
• 26:45
  Speaker 6: I'm still like luckily able to stay there. The thing
• 26:49
  Speaker 6: that I find the most challenging is like the identity shift.
• 26:54
  Speaker 6: That's what I find. Like I said before, I was
• 26:56
  Speaker 6: like forty years of like just being selfish, deeply selfish
• 26:59
  Speaker 6: to the fact that I was kidnapped my sister because
• 27:02
  Speaker 6: I had no attention.
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: Let's not forget and let's not forget.
• 27:05
  Speaker 6: That wonderful story that definitely makes me seem like a
• 27:08
  Speaker 6: nice person, and then to have a human that relies
• 27:12
  Speaker 6: on you so heavily, and you know, the identity shift
• 27:14
  Speaker 6: being with a PRAM like just that identity shift is
• 27:17
  Speaker 6: really interesting and hard sometimes to navigate. But I'm sure
• 27:22
  Speaker 6: I'll get to a point where I can, like vent
• 27:24
  Speaker 6: if you will. That point is not.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: Now, because the fear of you know, you can't even
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: announce your pregnancy without people being like, how dare you?
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: Heaven forbid you go? Fuck, I'm pretty tired today because
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: last night was.
• 27:35
  Speaker 4: You wanted this exactly right, exactly.
• 27:38
  Speaker 6: You paid a lot of money for that way. No
• 27:40
  Speaker 6: way I did. But then it's also like, I don't
• 27:42
  Speaker 6: want someone who's going through postpartum listening to this going well,
• 27:45
  Speaker 6: Tanya's got my problems. I'm an asshole. No, you're not
• 27:47
  Speaker 6: an asshole. I'm also going through it. Just remember the
• 27:50
  Speaker 6: lens I'm being seen through.
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: It's parenting. Is this weird juxtaposition where you're complaining about
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: something that you have wanted and love so deep, and
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: I guess for people who haven't experienced it, that doesn't
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: e make any sense.
• 28:05
  Speaker 4: It is such a weird balance of different emotions. I mean,
• 28:08
  Speaker 4: obviously you love your child, but they infuriate you.
• 28:11
  Speaker 6: You see, I'm not there.
• 28:13
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, you're in the stage of okay.
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: Well, at the moment, it's a newborn phase, which is
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: a lot of the time it's sleep for a bit, ship, eat,
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: sleep for a bit, ship yeah yeah, yeah yeah, And
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: it becomes monotonous. And I think that.
• 28:25
  Speaker 6: Monotony is quite difficult. I will tell you I feel
• 28:29
  Speaker 6: like a big groundhold day.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: I want to talk about Tom for a second. Tom,
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: who I love, A big fan of you, are now
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: big fan of Tom. How is he finding the early
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: stages of parenthood.
• 28:40
  Speaker 6: He doesn't have all the freaking hormones, so he's so oh,
• 28:44
  Speaker 6: it's annoying. How Like I'm like, oh, I'm sweaty, and
• 28:48
  Speaker 6: I'm you know, I'm going through it. My nip hurts,
• 28:50
  Speaker 6: and he's like, I'm fine, I'm like a funk off,
• 28:53
  Speaker 6: do you know what I mean?
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: Got a tang at the moment.
• 28:56
  Speaker 6: I wow, can like connect with you and smell you
• 29:01
  Speaker 6: and and like that's great. I reak. I need a
• 29:04
  Speaker 6: Recksna deal.
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: We're in a three.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: Studio right now.
• 29:13
  Speaker 5: We're both doors like I used to like milk.
• 29:19
  Speaker 6: Horrific, but no, like he's so level Also, you know
• 29:22
  Speaker 6: what he said to me the other day, or like
• 29:23
  Speaker 6: my friend said to him, do you have anxiety?
• 29:25
  Speaker 5: Goes?
• 29:26
  Speaker 6: I had it once once once. I'm like, I live
• 29:29
  Speaker 6: with it you and he's kind of once he's like
• 29:32
  Speaker 6: he gave it a try and didn't gave it a trial.
• 29:35
  Speaker 5: And when I like, we all were like, actually, this
• 29:38
  Speaker 5: is really great. I'm going to keep this.
• 29:39
  Speaker 6: I keep this, this is wonderful.
• 29:41
  Speaker 5: Then what I might do is I might spend heaps
• 29:42
  Speaker 5: of money.
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: He's suppressing it or putting it.
• 29:44
  Speaker 6: Like he doesn't. Oh you know, he's like your mental
• 29:46
  Speaker 6: health's well, I don't have mental health. Like he's so
• 29:51
  Speaker 6: level headed and chill and like non neurospicy. It's weird
• 29:56
  Speaker 6: but so excellent. Like thank god. If it was the
• 30:00
  Speaker 6: other way around, I would have divorced me a hundred
• 30:02
  Speaker 6: times over, Like I am our pest. So he's been amazing.
• 30:05
  Speaker 6: And he's the state Home dad. So I'm promoting my
• 30:08
  Speaker 6: book Sunny in Storm, please buy it currently and he's
• 30:11
  Speaker 6: with Scotty now so he works for me with me.
• 30:15
  Speaker 6: He's sort of.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: Like married to you.
• 30:20
  Speaker 6: Yeah, well, like there is for it. Yeah, Like that's
• 30:23
  Speaker 6: the other thing I've got full time help, you know.
• 30:26
  Speaker 6: So I feel like if you're listening to this and
• 30:28
  Speaker 6: you're going through postpartument, it's really hard. I have a
• 30:30
  Speaker 6: full time husband and it's just us, two people looking
• 30:34
  Speaker 6: after one baby. So there is a different level of
• 30:37
  Speaker 6: the way I'm going through it as well, like a
• 30:39
  Speaker 6: huge privilege that I have him, but we're working together,
• 30:42
  Speaker 6: living together, parenting for the first time together. So sometimes
• 30:45
  Speaker 6: it's not easy and I want to stab him, especially
• 30:48
  Speaker 6: because he doesn't have mental illness mental.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: Health ha got that rucksack.
• 30:54
  Speaker 6: Yeah, walk, but he wouldn't know. It's a great kidnapped again.
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, It's like, now that you are in the depths
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: of parenthood, is anything you miss?
• 31:07
  Speaker 6: Oh my god? Sleep? Sleep? Sometimes I would sometimes I
• 31:11
  Speaker 6: would nap twice a day just for fun. Was depressed,
• 31:15
  Speaker 6: but I was also filling the day. You know, when
• 31:17
  Speaker 6: you're a creator, you've got a lot of fruit time.
• 31:21
  Speaker 5: I'm really busy.
• 31:23
  Speaker 6: Sleep for fun, but also, yeah, depression naps are real,
• 31:26
  Speaker 6: but I definitely miss sleep. In saying that, I've kind
• 31:29
  Speaker 6: of adjusted and adapted pretty quick. Also, Red Bull has
• 31:32
  Speaker 6: come back into the picture because I obviously trying to conceive.
• 31:35
  Speaker 6: I went ketos, I was off bread. I didn't have
• 31:37
  Speaker 6: any candles like, I was on natural deodor a, no perfume,
• 31:40
  Speaker 6: like nothing in the microwave. So I'm eating so clean
• 31:44
  Speaker 6: one coffee a day. And now I'm like again, no, baby,
• 31:48
  Speaker 6: get the vape. No I'm not, but I'm definitely smashing
• 31:51
  Speaker 6: the red bulls, like the sugar free red bulls. Oh
• 31:53
  Speaker 6: my god, like three a day. I'm going to have
• 31:54
  Speaker 6: a heart attack, but I'm having a great time.
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: You mentioned your book. Now we do love pinks? Oh yeah,
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: one of your ogs, big fan kids love it to
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: this day.
• 32:05
  Speaker 6: I know. Is that fun? Your kids love that? What
• 32:07
  Speaker 6: about yours?
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: Mine are more like at the moment, they want to play.
• 32:11
  Speaker 6: Oh my god, fun.
• 32:13
  Speaker 5: They read my book and we like, you're on first.
• 32:15
  Speaker 6: Let's the first book I read Scotty was Pink Easter
• 32:18
  Speaker 6: and she fell asleep and I was like, hurtful. You
• 32:20
  Speaker 6: are two days old, though, so that's.
• 32:22
  Speaker 5: Perfect, so true.
• 32:24
  Speaker 6: I didn't even think about that. I good, I should
• 32:27
  Speaker 6: advertise it like that.
• 32:28
  Speaker 5: Do you want to put your kids to sleep immediately?
• 32:30
  Speaker 5: Read my book? My god?
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: Can you tell me about Sonny? And storm yeah sunny.
• 32:38
  Speaker 6: So it was a junior fiction, so it's more for
• 32:40
  Speaker 6: Miley's age, so like it's very girl CENTRICA I was
• 32:42
  Speaker 6: gonna say, I don't know. I Foscar would live for it.
• 32:44
  Speaker 6: It's very yeah good. So it's like about two girls
• 32:48
  Speaker 6: best friends and it's really about female friendship. It's based
• 32:50
  Speaker 6: on the book or the movie Beaches, but basically these
• 32:53
  Speaker 6: kids grow up in rural Australia. I did a lot
• 32:56
  Speaker 6: of radio in rural Australia and one thing that I
• 32:59
  Speaker 6: really found interesting I went to a dairy farm for
• 33:01
  Speaker 6: two days just because I wanted to know what happened.
• 33:06
  Speaker 6: How dare you bring my IVF up?
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: No?
• 33:11
  Speaker 6: But I didn't realize that cows have to be pregnant
• 33:14
  Speaker 6: for them to be able to be milked. And I
• 33:16
  Speaker 6: did not know that until I was like twenty six,
• 33:19
  Speaker 6: and I was like, that's fascinating and then.
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: Pretty as well.
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: I didn't know that until just now.
• 33:23
  Speaker 6: Yeah, and you have to keep milking them regardless of
• 33:25
  Speaker 6: whether or not there's like to keep the milk coming, right,
• 33:28
  Speaker 6: So even if it's Christmas Day and the poll's truck
• 33:31
  Speaker 6: doesn't come to collect the milk, they'll just dump it
• 33:33
  Speaker 6: because they need to keep them lactating like a breastfeeding mother.
• 33:36
  Speaker 6: You have to keep up your supply. Like I mean,
• 33:39
  Speaker 6: first of all, you would not want that job. It's
• 33:42
  Speaker 6: full on and they cows reak. But the book is
• 33:45
  Speaker 6: kind of centered in that regional space because it's fascinating
• 33:48
  Speaker 6: and kids live like that. It's also about kids who
• 33:50
  Speaker 6: invent their own language. But I was a huge fan
• 33:53
  Speaker 6: of Rolldall growing up. He invented seventy words, and I
• 33:55
  Speaker 6: was like, can I invent words?
• 33:57
  Speaker 5: You can invent words?
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: Did you invent one?
• 34:00
  Speaker 6: I invented thirty four words?
• 34:02
  Speaker 5: Oh?
• 34:03
  Speaker 6: Okay? So my favorite is anti vax, which means like
• 34:06
  Speaker 6: an anti vax. No, I don't know, it sounds like that,
• 34:09
  Speaker 6: but it's for kids and they won't even think about that.
• 34:10
  Speaker 6: But annie vax is like when an animal vacuums something up,
• 34:14
  Speaker 6: you know, when you drop something and a and a
• 34:15
  Speaker 6: dog licks it or eats it.
• 34:17
  Speaker 5: Could be confirmed.
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: Any vax means it'll take anything. I'll take any vaccination,
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: just give it.
• 34:21
  Speaker 6: You know, Oh my god, this is I'll give you
• 34:25
  Speaker 6: another one. Okay, okay. Another one is shrinkles, which is
• 34:28
  Speaker 6: you know, in the shrinkles is when you know, in
• 34:35
  Speaker 6: the back of your car and it's like just gross stuff,
• 34:37
  Speaker 6: like little bits and pieces of food and stuff that's
• 34:39
  Speaker 6: shrinkles because kids invent words that don't exist.
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: Right there, you go.
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: I kind of like it more when it's the end
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: of your foreskin.
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: You don't have one? Would you know?
• 34:48
  Speaker 6: You have no? Why am I getting it false?
• 34:50
  Speaker 5: Well?
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: Shrinkle Matt had his cut off at six six.
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we relive it all the.
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: Time, episode one hundred and forty seven. I think it
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: is is my second decision? Wow. Well we always have
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: a segment on the podcast. Done it for a while.
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: Things you shouldn't say to a pregnant woman. I don't
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: know if we've had the segment Things you shouldn't say
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: to someone who's postpartum.
• 35:12
  Speaker 6: Is it a good baby?
• 35:13
  Speaker 5: Have you got a good baby?
• 35:15
  Speaker 6: Nah, she's on meth.
• 35:17
  Speaker 5: She's got ye. She's got a real problem with that.
• 35:19
  Speaker 6: Man, Like, I never know what to say that I
• 35:21
  Speaker 6: know that they're going. Is she sleeping? Is she colicky?
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: Smer every day?
• 35:26
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm like she's colicky, yes, but she's good to
• 35:29
  Speaker 6: me And I don't know any other baby. And you
• 35:31
  Speaker 6: know what I mean, what's your first, who are like,
• 35:33
  Speaker 6: does she cry a lot? I'm I couldn't tell you.
• 35:34
  Speaker 6: What's the metric for crying?
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: I don't know, do not time.
• 35:41
  Speaker 6: I'm still in that like newborn mom face, even though
• 35:43
  Speaker 6: she's ten weeks over. I'm like, what do you what
• 35:45
  Speaker 6: are you doing?
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 35:47
  Speaker 6: Are we doing the huckleberry thing? Are we doing whiskey?
• 35:54
  Speaker 5: How does your smoking?
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: It's mess?
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: Did you want a boy?
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: Oh?
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: Did you want a boy?
• 36:00
  Speaker 5: You're gonna go deeper for that?
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: Oh my god?
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: Are there any other one? Line? Is that have been
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: said to you by a boomer?
• 36:07
  Speaker 6: She's very skinny.
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: It's that face too.
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, is wrong?
• 36:13
  Speaker 6: Yeah, she's on baby zim pick let me you know,
• 36:17
  Speaker 6: we'll go. I'm gonna have another one. I'm gonna go
• 36:20
  Speaker 6: for a second. You should, you should, and you should
• 36:22
  Speaker 6: have them close together and have it now. Wish you
• 36:25
  Speaker 6: period back?
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: You're like, I'm still I'm in hospital. Yeah, past the room, Like,
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: when's the next one?
• 36:32
  Speaker 6: He's now? I tell you, if you book it in
• 36:37
  Speaker 6: six weeks, we could get you another one.
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: You've spoken about it yet?
• 36:41
  Speaker 7: Yeah?
• 36:42
  Speaker 5: Yeah?
• 36:42
  Speaker 6: Yeah, people, And I think the weird thing about having
• 36:44
  Speaker 6: a second one is I'm like babes. It took me
• 36:45
  Speaker 6: seven years to have this one. I have this one
• 36:47
  Speaker 6: when I'm seventy eight. Yeah, fucking hell, not like bald one.
• 36:54
  Speaker 6: It's a different rule for women. Also, you know what
• 36:56
  Speaker 6: one thing I love when you're in a shop, et cetera,
• 36:58
  Speaker 6: or like that happens a lot because I like to
• 37:01
  Speaker 6: be at a shoppings that a. Westfields are very comfortable
• 37:03
  Speaker 6: for me.
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: I love it second home, so.
• 37:06
  Speaker 6: People go to this. I did original radio, so I
• 37:08
  Speaker 6: had no friends, so walking around to Westfield was like
• 37:10
  Speaker 6: what I did. Anyway, I walk around with the baby
• 37:14
  Speaker 6: because she's in the prem Sure, I don't want to
• 37:16
  Speaker 6: hold seven years. I want to hold that. And also
• 37:18
  Speaker 6: I want everyone to see look what I made. This
• 37:21
  Speaker 6: baby was a very expensive have a look, do you
• 37:24
  Speaker 6: know what I mean? Also, she's super fucking cute. So
• 37:26
  Speaker 6: we'll walk around. People go, oh my god, how cute?
• 37:28
  Speaker 7: How old?
• 37:28
  Speaker 6: And I go forty Take some.
• 37:31
  Speaker 5: A second, especially the boomers are like and then.
• 37:34
  Speaker 6: They go a bit old, get me away like cats,
• 37:41
  Speaker 6: and we always.
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: In the episode Tenure on one question, and this question
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: is when Scotty is all grown up, no longer living
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: at home, what is the one thing sorry, hurry. So
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: when your baby's left, you take a little.
• 37:59
  Speaker 6: Just out, she said, got vernix on her, And you're
• 38:01
  Speaker 6: asking me when she's thrown up?
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: Sorry, no, I'm sorry. What is the one thing you
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: would want them to remember about the house they grew
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: up in?
• 38:08
  Speaker 6: Oh, there's such a good question.
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 38:10
  Speaker 6: I just hope she thinks it's fun. I hope she
• 38:12
  Speaker 6: grows up and goes, fuck, it was so fun being
• 38:14
  Speaker 6: a kid. I think that, do you Guys? Like I
• 38:16
  Speaker 6: always go, God, I had.
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: A good child.
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: I don't think she'll have any problems with that with you. Yeah,
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: she's gonna know it's going to be fun.
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 38:22
  Speaker 6: We do a lot of accent work with her, not
• 38:24
  Speaker 6: with her, but like I pretend Scotty is.
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: Like, who the fuck is this?
• 38:31
  Speaker 6: Like South African accent, Like, good morning Scotland, it's your mother.
• 38:37
  Speaker 6: How are you darling?
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: Russian? Ya?
• 38:40
  Speaker 6: You know what she's into generation or into inter rations?
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: She did tell impressions, Well I do I do.
• 38:46
  Speaker 6: Tracy this character and she's she knows who I am,
• 38:49
  Speaker 6: Like I've got four acrylic nails, a wig, like a
• 38:51
  Speaker 6: completely different costume.
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: Is a hairdresser, she's a hairdresser.
• 38:54
  Speaker 6: Yeah, and I've done her a few times since she's
• 38:56
  Speaker 6: been born, and she just she doesn't go, oh my god,
• 38:59
  Speaker 6: who the hell is this woman. She's like, oh, mom's
• 39:01
  Speaker 6: at it again. And I've you know, been boomer mom
• 39:04
  Speaker 6: and I you know, dress up for work. And I
• 39:06
  Speaker 6: love that she's so used to it. And I think, oh, man,
• 39:08
  Speaker 6: you're gonna have such a good life, Like I hope
• 39:10
  Speaker 6: you were. Just I hope you laugh a lot and
• 39:14
  Speaker 6: watch a lot of good stories, and I hope that, yeah,
• 39:16
  Speaker 6: you look back on your childhood and go, fuck, it
• 39:17
  Speaker 6: was fine. I'm going to do that for my kid.
• 39:19
  Speaker 6: You know. I just hope she has fun.
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for spending some time with us
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: in your busy book schedule.
• 39:26
  Speaker 6: Oh my god, I'm stope. Like I've seen so much
• 39:29
  Speaker 6: of your podcast. I was like, I always want to
• 39:31
  Speaker 6: go on the podcast, but it's a parenting podcast. So
• 39:33
  Speaker 6: it's actually really fucking cool that I get to be
• 39:35
  Speaker 6: on the podcast. That's exactly so I could be here today.
• 39:39
  Speaker 6: Nobody like, you know, I would watch it and go,
• 39:41
  Speaker 6: oh man, I'm want to be on the podcast, but
• 39:43
  Speaker 6: I won't be able to be on till i'm a parent.
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: Oh thank you.
• 39:45
  Speaker 6: And I all.
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: Those years ago working together, that little recap, sure that
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: we did it. Look at us now as parents a
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: parenting podcast.
• 39:54
  Speaker 6: Yeah, Thriving in vertical.
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: You seem extremely happy.
• 40:00
  Speaker 6: And so fucking nice. Man. I I was so sad
• 40:04
  Speaker 6: for seven years. Like I can't even however I presented myself.
• 40:06
  Speaker 6: That's not how I was.
• 40:09
  Speaker 5: Oh my god.
• 40:10
  Speaker 6: Honestly, I feel like I can breathe that. I feel
• 40:12
  Speaker 6: so much better now she's here and she's well for now.
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: You always worry about him, don't.
• 40:18
  Speaker 6: Worry always Like I am already like geared up for that.
• 40:22
  Speaker 6: But well, I guess as much as you can. You
• 40:24
  Speaker 6: don't know until you know, right.
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, even Macy just running on the concrete.
• 40:28
  Speaker 5: I'm like gonna fall. It's so sad when she falls.
• 40:32
  Speaker 6: It's sad for me, seriously, I know, because you're like,
• 40:37
  Speaker 6: I want you to learn. But at the same time,
• 40:39
  Speaker 6: I again, is he like one of those kids who
• 40:44
  Speaker 6: just like hits his head and just keeps going. I
• 40:46
  Speaker 6: love those kids. My sister has one of them.
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: List Mum's there and then it's a big show. Yeah,
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: but Macy, she's just it's just she's just too cute.
• 40:55
  Speaker 6: Do you feel differently towards your girl than your boy.
• 40:57
  Speaker 5: Oh yeah, I love that.
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: Parents them different too. It's not that I love one
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: more than I get through those.
• 41:06
  Speaker 5: Excuse me, No, I love them both equally. I love
• 41:09
  Speaker 5: them both equally, but for different reasons.
• 41:12
  Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's oh yeah, mean you only have.
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: Girls you, so you are a girl?
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: Dad?
• 41:16
  Speaker 5: There, such a good one.
• 41:19
  Speaker 6: You are such a girl, dad, you really are.
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: Well. You deserve all the happiness, and I'm so glad
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: that it's all worked out because.
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: We really needed a guest for this slot.
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: So thank you so much.
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: Yes, thank you, thank you.
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: Should we keep in the part about the kidnapping of
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: the sister or that need to be edited out?
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: No, I think it's all right. Everyone was safe in
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: the end.
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: Maybe that story came out because she's lacking sleep. Maybe
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: she's feeding Scotty right now, thinking, did I just tell
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: a story of how I kidnapped my younger sister.
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: She doesn't remember because she's sleep.
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: Yes, that's right. It's borderline criminal, but they're in safe
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: hands here, Tanya. Let's keep it in.
• 41:56
  Speaker 5: It was a safe return.
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: I think we're all good.
• 41:59
  Speaker 4: If you've enjoyed the episode, please leave us a review
• 42:02
  Speaker 4: five stars if you will a couple of comments or
• 42:04
  Speaker 4: they can reach es wear man.
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: Can you please beg just a little bit more?
• 42:07
  Speaker 4: That's okay, just I'm not known for my begging Like
• 42:11
  Speaker 4: you're being kidnapped. You beg for me to beg, and
• 42:13
  Speaker 4: then I maybe I'll beg like.
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: You're being kidnapped and you're begging for a review? Will
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: save your life?
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: To be honest, the kidnap. I could use the rest.
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: Please review us as see us on social media Instagram,
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: Two Doting Dads, Seek took, Two Doting Dads, Facebook, Two Doting.
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: Dads and We'll see you next time on.
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: Two Doting Dads, Two Doting Dads. Podcast acknowledges the traditional
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: custodians of country throughout Australia and the connections to land,
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: see and community.
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Islander
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: peoples today. This episode was recorded on gadagal Land