Latest / Andy Stanley Sermons / Andy Stanley - Life, Love, & Legacy A Conversation with Dr. Charles Stanley Part 1

Transcript

Andy Stanley - Life, Love, & Legacy A Conversation with Dr. Charles Stanley Part 1 · Andy Stanley Sermons

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hi everybody, welcome back. If this is your first time
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: joining us, you could not have picked a better time. Today,
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: I begin a two-part interview with one of my favorite
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: people on the planet, my dad. As you may know,
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: my dad is a pastor, but you may not know
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: that he just stepped down from his role as senior
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: pastor of the First Baptist Church of Atlanta, where he served,
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: are you ready for this, for 50 years. And then
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: a few weeks ago, he celebrated his 88th birthday and
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: he decided it was probably time to step down, a
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: decision he clearly did not rush into. So today and
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: next week, we're going to visit with him at his
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: studio at InTouch Ministries, the broadcast organization that he founded
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: in 1977. But before we jump into the interview, I
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: wanna give you a little bit of context as it
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: relates to our family so that some of these stories
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: we talk about will make a little bit more sense.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: I have a sister named Becky who's three years younger
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: than me. Both of us have three kids. So my
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: dad is the proud grandparent of six grandchildren, two granddaughters
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: and four grandsons. After I graduated from graduate school, I
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: actually worked for him for 10 years. And then I
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: left there to launch North Point Community Church. And it
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: was a rocky transition to say the least, but my
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: dad and I were both committed to maintaining our relationship
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: in spite of our differences. And we had many differences.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: Then several years later, I wrote a book entitled Deep
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: and Wide, which is essentially the blueprint for how we
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: do ministry through the local church. And in chapter two
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: of Deep and Wide, I actually tell the story in
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: detail of how and why I left my dad's employment
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: and why it was such a difficult season for both
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: of us. And anyone who's read the story or knows
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: our story knows how easy it would have been for
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: our relationship to have deteriorated and for us to have
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: gone our separate ways and never reconciled. But fortunately, and honestly,
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: much to his credit, that was not the case. And
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: just kind of a fun fact, before I published the story,
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: of course, I wanted him to read it and sign
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: off on it. So I went over to his house
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: and I sat down with him at his breakfast table
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: and I actually read out loud that particular chapter of
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: the book, the book, the chapter that entailed our story
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: just to get his reaction. And honestly, it was so emotional,
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: just reliving some of those difficult moments. We both cried
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: and we were both so grateful that those difficult times
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: did not signal the end of our relationship. In fact,
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: I'll never forget, we were having chips and salsa at
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: a Tex-Mex restaurant during this difficult season. And it was
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: so difficult, honestly, we would meet together because we knew
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: we should and we would just sit there. It was
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: hard for us to even talk. And on one of
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: those occasions, he said, Andy, he said, we have both
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: been around long enough to know what happens to fathers
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: and sons who go through something like this. And I
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: don't want that to happen to us. And neither did I.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: And it didn't. So here we are 25 years later,
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: reminiscing about 88 years of a life well lived. So
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: here's part one of my two-part conversation with my dad, Dr.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: Charles Stanley. So I would like to begin our conversation
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: talking about parenting. But before I talk about what a
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: good dad you are and have been my whole life,
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: I think it's important for people to know a little
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: bit about your background because you grew up without your father.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: So can you catch people up on just your growing
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: up years? And then I want to talk a little
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: bit about what a great dad you were and how
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: in the world did you ever figure that out? So
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: you were born in Dry Fort, Virginia.
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: Dry Fort, Virginia.
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: My father died when I was nine months of age.
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: So my mother had to go to work. And so
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: then I got shifted around from one person to the other,
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: keeping me while she worked. And that went on for
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: a number of years. And then, of course, starting to school,
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: I was very shy. And I think, how did I
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: ever get through grammar school?
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because in some cases, I remember these stories as
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: a kid. You know, when I thought I had it hard,
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: you would talk about getting yourself up in the fixing
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: your own breakfast because your mom had already gone to
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: work at the mill.
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: Well, it was difficult, but, you know, my mom taught
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: me how to fry an egg or scramble an egg
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: and toast. And then, of course, after a while, I
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: learned that well enough so I could just fix me
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: maybe some other things. But she taught me to be
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: able to do whatever I need to do and to
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: trust God that he would help me. And that's the
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: thing that I kept hearing her, just trust the Lord.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: Just do what you know is right and trust the Lord.
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: So she drilled that into my head and that I
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: could do whatever I need to do if I would
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: trust him.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: Wow. So one of the mysteries to me that as
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: a kid growing up, I didn't appreciate, but now that
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: I'm a dad, I've appreciated so much because so much
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: of what I've done as a father, I learned from you,
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: but you didn't have a father to learn from. So
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: how in the world did you figure this out? Because
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: I'm going to tell some stories in a few minutes
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: about the kinds of things you did. But I mean,
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: you know, when I was born, when Becky was born,
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: you didn't have a role model. What, how did you
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: figure this out?
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: Well, my mom taught me several things that just drilled
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: them in my head. She's to, to obey the Lord,
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: to read the scripture every day, even though I didn't
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: understand it, to read the scripture every day and to
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: do what I.
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: Knew was the right thing to do.
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: So she didn't take the Bible and say, well, memorize
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: this verse or that verse. And the only time I
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: remember her giving me a verse to remember is before
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: I preached my first sermon.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: But I just saw her reading the Bible.
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: I listened to her pray, and I watched how she
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: related to people. So I had a great respect for
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: my mom being a godly woman.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: So then when you became a dad, how did you
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: figure out the dad part? I mean, you'd seen your
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: mom be a good mom, but you were such a
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: great dad. How did you How did you figure that out?
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: Well, I treated y'all the way I wanted to be treated.
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: I think that says it all to me because not
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: having a father and thinking what would I would like
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: for my father to have done. So when I'm thinking
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: of all the places we went and I never worried
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: about spending money on you all, just have a good time.
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: In other words, it just came natural for me because
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: I knew that's what a good dad would do.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: Well, I want to.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: Talk about a few things that you've taught me. I'm
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: not even sure I've shared some of these with you.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: But one of the most important things you taught me
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: was how to make good decisions. And the way he
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: taught me how to make good decisions was my dad
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: refused to make decisions for me. In fact, there were
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: so many incidents and this began really young. I would say, dad,
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: what do you think I should do in this situation?
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: And he would say, well, what would you do if
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: I wasn't here to tell you? And I would say,
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: but you are here to tell me and I need
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: you to tell me. But that habit or that tendency
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: you had, and again, I don't know where you figured
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: that out, forced me to do two things. It forced
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: me to learn how to make good decisions early on.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: And then the second thing was you did such a
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: great job allowing Becky and I to face the consequences
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: of our decisions. You never bailed us out. And I
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: guess because growing up, there wasn't anybody to bail you
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: out when you made a bad decision. You had to
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: face the consequences yourself, right?
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: And I realized all of that would drive you to God.
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: And I wanted you to point yourself to Him. What
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: would God have me to do when my dad's not here?
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: What would God have me to do? Because my father
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: died when I was nine months of age. I thought,
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: you know, God can take me off the scene.
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: But I want to be sure whenever He did, you
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: knew what to do.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: Well, early on, maybe too early, you just consistently said,
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: what would you do or how would you handle that
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: or how would you fix that if I wasn't here?
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: I remember my first traffic ticket. I'd like to say
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: it was my one and only traffic ticket, but I
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: remember my first traffic ticket. I had not had my
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: driver's license very long. I got pulled over leaving school.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: I got home and of course I was scared to
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: death like any teenager. Oh no, what's my dad gonna do?
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: Is he gonna take away the car? Is he gonna
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: take away my license? And you probably don't even remember this.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: So I came in and, you know, apologetically, dad, I
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: got pulled over by the police. He gave me a
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: traffic ticket and you didn't get mad. You said, well,
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: you'll have to handle that. And I'm like, well, what
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: do I do? And you said, well, just turn the
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: ticket over. It has all the instructions in the back.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: And then you just left the room. And suddenly, instead
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: of punishing me, you basically said, if you're, you know,
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: if you're responsible enough to have a driver's license. You're
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: responsible enough to figure out what to do with a
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: traffic ticket. And you didn't punish me. You let the
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: law punish me. And then again, you just put all
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: the decision making right back.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: In my lap.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: I don't even know if you remember that.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: Well, so you kept loving me instead of the policeman.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: Well, see, this is another really important principle because instead
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: of inserting yourself into the equation, you took my position
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: or you took my side to say, you know what, Andy?
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: I think you're smart enough to figure this out. I
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: think you'll figure out how to pay for the traffic ticket.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: It's right there on the back of the ticket, you know,
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: good luck. And again, here I am all these years later,
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: I can remember where we were standing in our house
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: in Tucker. So early on, just putting the decision-making pressure,
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: the appropriate pressure on us was extraordinary. And I do
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: think it was an overflow of the fact that you knew,
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: you remember growing up, hey, you had to learn those
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: things early. And then one other thing, and you just
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: alluded to it, you did a great job intentionally taking,
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: you know, reminding my sister and I, Becky and I,
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: that ultimately we weren't accountable to you anyway, that ultimately
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: we were accountable to God. And the way you taught
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: us that, again, we would ask you a question or
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: not advice, but a decision, you know, we had to make.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: And you would say, Have you prayed about it? Have
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: you prayed about it? And that was so frustrating because
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't need to pray about it. I
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: just need you to help me make the decision. But
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: you consistently said, ask God and, you know, whatever you
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: feel like the Lord wants you to do. Do you
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: remember one particular occasion when you told me to pray
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: about it and God told me the opposite of what
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: God had told you? Do you know what incident I'm
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: talking about?
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: I did. Was there only one?
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: No. No, there were actually several, but I was 16,
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: and my favorite recording artist was coming to town. It
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: was a concert. Back then, there weren't many concerts. You
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: did not particularly love my choice of music at the time.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's right.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you remember that part. And so this band was
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: coming to Atlanta, and the concert was on Sunday night.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: Remember this?
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: Yes, I do.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: And we had Sunday night church, and on Sunday night,
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: We went to church. And so I'm saying, dad, I
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: want to go to a concert. You didn't really want
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: me to go to the concert anyway, but now I'm
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: going to go on Sunday night. People will find out,
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: you know, the preacher's kids, you know, went to the
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: concert instead of going to church. And you said, well,
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: why don't you pray about it? You remember that?
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: I do.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: And I remember mom was like, no, no, no, no.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: Don't let him pray about it. You just need, we
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: just need to tell him not to go. And you
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: were so consistent. It was, nope. If you think that's okay,
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: you know, you pray about it. So I did, 16
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: years old. And I didn't hear a voice, so I
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: figured it was okay. Remember that? And you took a
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: little bit of pressure at church. You know, how can
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: you let your son, he's being a bad example. And
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: so I went to that concert. And do you remember
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: what you and mom prayed while I was at the concert?
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: You told me later that you prayed that we would
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: have a miserable time.
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: Do you remember that?
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: You prayed that we'd have a miserable time and we'd
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: never want to go back. And God didn't answer that
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: prayer either. I grew up wanting to be a rock star.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: So anyway, but the point being, even though when you
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: put that much responsibility in a child's hands, you are
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: wise enough to leave it there. You didn't take it back.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: You didn't say, well, God didn't answer your prayer the
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: way I wanted him to. I'm going to withdraw that.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: So those lessons were so instrumental. And it's just always
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: curious to me growing up without a father that intuitively
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: you figured some of those things out.
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: Well, I would usually say, Lord, now in this given situation,
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: what's the wisest thing to do? And I knew that
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: if I made all the decisions and gave you all
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: the answers, you'd never have to do it yourself.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: And at some point, and remember this, growing up I
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: had nobody to ask.
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: Nobody was my mom, but a lot of situations she
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: wouldn't have had the answer for. So I figured if
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: I trusted God to give you wisdom, then I believe
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: that you would listen to him and do what he
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: said do.
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: And look at you now. You're not a rock star.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: You're much more important than a rock star.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: Well, look at me now, but there was, you know,
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: it wasn't a straight line. In fact, I've heard you
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: say before publicly that you, I don't, these are my words,
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: not yours. So you can correct me. Something like, I
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: never went to bed worrying about you and Becky or
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: what you and Becky were up to. You just placed
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: us in the hands of our capable heavenly father.
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: And Well, I knew that I had taught you the
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: right thing to do in every situation that I knew
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: about and that I would trust God to either make
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: you successful at that or make you so miserable you
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: wouldn't want to do it again.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: And it worked.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: It did ultimately work. And I've tried to do the
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: same thing with my three kids, so I appreciate that.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: The other thing that you taught me that became, again,
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: you appreciate it when you're young, but you really appreciate
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: it when you're older, you never prioritize work over family. Now,
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: that is challenging for anyone, but it seems to be
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: especially challenging for pastors. So many pastors love the church
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: and serve the church, and we've seen this happen, right,
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: with pastors, especially men, who just, for whatever reason, neglect
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: their kids. And I never felt like I was competing
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: with work, or specifically, I never felt like I was
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: competing with the church. Again, do you remember your thought
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: process and all of that? Because we took long vacations.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: In fact, one time, I can't even imagine this. We
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: had an 18-foot travel trailer. We went out west for
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: five weeks. Okay, I love my children. I can't imagine
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: a five-week vacation pulling an 18-foot travel trailer. But that's
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: the way you prioritized us. So what was your thinking?
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: and all of that?
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: Well, first of all, I wanted to go.
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: And secondly, I wanted to share what I love, the
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: outdoors and the woods and the forest and the glaciers
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: and everything.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: I wanted to share that with you all.
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: And so as far as the church was concerned, it
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: was more important to me for us to be together
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: regardless of what people thought.
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: And so I enjoyed it.
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: And what I tried to do is to give you
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: all the experiences that I wish I'd had when I
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: had a father and go to all the places we went.
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: And if you think of all the things that we did,
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: and the one thing I loved about the travel trailer
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: was we were all together.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: We were very close together. It was just 18 feet.
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: But remember this, when we went to Naples, we had
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: the whole beach. That's before they got built up. Police
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: would drive up and down the beach about once a day.
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: We had that whole beach to ourselves, travel trailer. We'd
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: cook outside, and we had a fantastic time. I loved
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: every minute of it, and I figured you all would
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: never forget it. And we happened to be there at
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: the season that the sand dollars came in.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: And we were picking up very small ones, large ones.
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: And those are times in my life that I enjoyed
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: them just as much as you all did. And at
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: that point, I didn't care what people thought. Well, you
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: should have done this, you should have done that. You
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: know what? You only have one life. These kids are
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: only going to be yours at this age. We're going
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: to live it up in order to enjoy one another.
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: And you have not forgotten it.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: No. And again, those kinds of things left an impression
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: in terms of priorities and values. And obviously it wasn't
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: a dig at church or something to undermine our faith.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: It just showed the priority that you gave. But your
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: priorities were where they needed to be.
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: Well, I wanted you all to feel like you had me.
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: Not me in the church. You had me for 30
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: days or whatever it might be. Five weeks. And I
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: just wanted it to be unforgettable times so that one
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: of these days you can look back as you are
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: and say, what an awesome time we had.
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: Not calling this.
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: For example, if they would call me from church, sometimes
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: I would call them back. Sometimes I wouldn't. No, we
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: didn't have cell phones then. So I could say, well,
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: you call me.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there was no way to get, really, when we
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: would travel, when we would camp, we, again, sometimes we
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: went to trailer parks, you know, but a lot of
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: time we would literally, back then, we would just find
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: a spot in the woods or on the beach and
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: we were completely unplugged.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: One other incident, and you alluded to this principle, when
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: Louis Giglio and I, Louis Giglio, many of you know him,
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: we grew up together. He grew up at my dad's church.
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: In fact, his family was at First Baptist Atlanta before
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: we got there. And so Louie and I became close
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: friends through middle school and high school. And we used
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: to skip church quite frequently. We would go to Sunday
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: school because that's where the girls were. And then instead
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: of going to church, we would walk down the street
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: and there was a big restaurant, the Varsity, if you've
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: ever been to Atlanta. And my dad was on live
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: television on Channel 5, I believe. And so we would
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: literally stand up on a chair, change the channel, to
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: find the sermon, and then we would just talk and
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: eat hot dogs and listen to just enough of the
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: sermon so that I could get in the car after
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: church and say, you know, Dad, the story about the
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: dog or the thing. So he would think I had
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: been in church. Very deceitful. So on one occasion, I
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: know you remember this. Somebody went to your, we called
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: them secretaries back then, to your administrative assistant and said
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: she had seen me and Louie heading down to the
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: varsity to skip church. Do you remember this incident?
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: Yes, I do.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: So here's how it happened. So I'm in the back seat.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: There's just the two of us. We're driving home after church.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: And so I can't see his face. I'm sitting right
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: behind him. I remember this. And you said, Andy, someone
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: saw you and Louie leaving the church property and looked
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: like you were headed toward the varsity instead of coming
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: to church. So, of course, I'm thinking, oh, no. You know,
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: it's like the traffic ticket thing. Oh, no, I'm in
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: big trouble. And you paused. And here's what you said.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: You said, and I told her, you raise your kids.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: You let me raise mine. That's all you said. And
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: we drove home in silence. And I, again, and I
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: didn't get in trouble. You didn't punish me. You didn't
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: expect more of me than other parents expected of their kids.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: But again, here I am all these years later, because
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: it said to me that I was a priority and
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: that you, again, you weren't, you didn't feel like your
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: reputation as a pastor hinged on my behavior or on
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: Becky's behavior. And that's a good thing because there were some,
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: there were some rough years for, for some of us anyway.
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: So again, just, um, so grateful for the way that
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: you were a father, even though you didn't have a
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: father to learn from. And that is a guiding principle
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: for all the single parents out there who wonder, because
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: you turned out great, by the way. So for all
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: the single parents, it's challenging. And when Sandra and I
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: talk to parents, the first thing we say is, even
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: though we're going to talk about parenting from the standpoint
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: of a two-parent home, neither my father nor Sandra's father
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: grew up with their biological father in the home. And
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: yet they turned out to be fabulous fathers. So, um,
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: and that way you're such a great example for even
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: more people than maybe you might've imagined. Now I want
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: to change the subject. That's okay. Um, you grew up poor.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: I think, I think that's a fair statement. Um, but
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: you have always been generous. I mean, some of the
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: earliest lessons you taught us had to do with money.
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: So how in the world does someone who is raised
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: with very, very, very little, in fact, some of my
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: favorite stories that you told me growing up about growing
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: up were just how little you had, how you, Christmas stories,
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: I mean, birthday stories were, it was kind of heartbreaking, honestly.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: And yet your whole life you've been generous. How did
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: you learn to be generous having grown up with, because
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: so many people, they go the opposite direction.
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: I think I'd have to give my mother credit for that.
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: For example, every once in a while back in those days,
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: some little boy or a couple of little kids would
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: come up and ask, knock on the door and ask,
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: do you all.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: Have any bread? My mom always gave them something.
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: And sometimes I'd look and I'd say, we're not going
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: to have any left, I don't think. She said, no,
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: we're going to give them this. My mom taught me
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: to be generous, to be kind.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: And I knew she.
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: Made $ 9. 10 a week for 40 hours in the cotton mill.
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: And she was always generous. She didn't give much, but
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: there was something about her. She had to give something.
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: And so I think I saw that in her. So
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: when it came time to talk about tithing income, I
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: never had a problem with that.
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: And I have been blessed and blessed and blessed and
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: blessed and blessed.
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: And I would have to say, Watching her give a
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: little bit of what we didn't have much of said
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: something to me deep down inside because I noticed that
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: afterwards we always seemed to have enough.
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: And again, this was her faith in action in terms
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: of just trusting God to provide for the two of you.
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: Right. Yeah.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: So what's the connection between your generosity and the local church?
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: Because that's always been a passion for you.
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: So.
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: I just realized that pretty early I couldn't out-give God
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: how much I gave, what the motivation was.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: I couldn't out-give Him. He always blessed.
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: Me over and over and over again, so I wanted
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: to help other people and I wanted to be sure
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: when I stood up and preached to other people about
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: giving that I knew in my heart I gave it
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: the best God wanted me to give, no matter how
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: much it was. You know, it's not been hard for
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: me to give. Giving is just part of being who
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: I am. And I think about how God's blessed me.
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: He said, given it shall be given to you good measure,
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: pressed down, shaken together.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: I believe that.
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: And I can look back on all these years and
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: realize he's blessed me far more than I deserve.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: That phrase that you just said, I grew up hearing
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: my whole life. You can't out give God. You can't
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: out give God. You can't out give God. I remember,
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: I'm not gonna go into detail because it's so personal,
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: but I remember an incident. I was a freshman in
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: college when there was an incident and you basically had
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: a choice. And this happened two or three times to
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: where you could give what you felt God had impressed
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: on your heart to give, but it was gonna be
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: an actual, a sacrificial gift. And this is one of
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: the great things about you as well. You would talk
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: about this with the family. You would say, I feel
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: like God wants us to do this for this organization.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: or something that's going on at church. And if we
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: give this much money, here's what we're gonna have to
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: do as a family. And we would pray about those things.
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: And I can remember as a college freshman thinking, that's
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: a lot of money. And what's that? Again, you led
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: through your generosity. And again, you can't out give God,
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: you can't out give God. And so you taught me
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: to tithe. And like you, giving the first dime of
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: every dollar I've ever made my whole life has been easy.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: And it has been easy for me to stand up
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: in front of our church and to teach percentage giving
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: because you taught me that as a child. And because, again,
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: it was a habit we formed so early. Like you say,
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: you never miss the money that you give and you
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: never regret what you've done with the money that you give.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: Growing up, you would lay down with us at night
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: and we would always want you to tell us stories
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: about growing up. And so I would like to ask
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: you to share two specific stories And then I'm going
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: to share.
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: A story.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: So let me think. The first story I want you
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: to talk about, and this kind of relates to money,
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: talk a little bit about your paper route. Because people
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: kid about, oh, in the old days, you know, I
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: had to walk so many miles in the snow, uphill
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: both ways. But you literally, that was a literal story
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: for you. So your mom is having to work. She's
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: making about $ 10 a week. So you had to go
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: to work early. So I think the story of how
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: you developed your paper route It's fascinating. And we don't
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: really have paper boys anymore like we used to. But
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: that was a, talk a little bit about that because
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: that's part of what transitioned you to the next season
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: of your life.
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: Well, we had two newspapers.
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: One of them was just on Monday morning since we
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: didn't have a regular paper on Monday morning. And one
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: of them was on Thursday. And so I kept praying
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: for God to show me something to do. And so
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: I found out I could possibly get a paper route
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: I only made about $ 4 or something like that. But
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: that was two days a week. It was a long route,
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: and I had a lot of papers. But I said, okay, God,
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: this is what I'll do. And then I kept that
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: for a year. And I watched this fellow who had
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: the large paper route morning and evening every day except
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: Sunday afternoon and Monday morning.
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: And you were walking, right?
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was walking.
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: And it just so happened that all the streets I
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: had were all downhill, but it was okay.
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: So I saw this fellow who.
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: Had the paper route and made about $ 20 a week,
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: or 16 to 20-something.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: A week.
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: A week.
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: And so I said, well, if you ever give up
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: your paper route, I'd like to have it. So he said, well,
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: what are you willing to give me for it? And
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: that was not the property.
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: You didn't buy paper.
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: You didn't sell paper routes, right.
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: So he said, well, I'll sell it to you for $ 125.
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: So I figured.
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: That $ 125, I'd make it back for too long. But
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: my stepfather went to the bank with me, and I
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: borrowed $ 125. It's the only time I ever borrowed any money.
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: And so I bought the route. I started delivering newspapers.
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: I had one long street.
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: I remember you driving me down the street when we
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: would go visit my grandmother. And you say it was downhill.
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: There was nothing flat in Danville, Virginia. Everything was a hill.
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: But anyway.
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: Anyway, so.
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: And so first thing I did is make sure I
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: tied how much money I made. And so I took
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: papers for about, well, until I went to college. And
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: I saw how God had. prospered me and helped me
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: and I could buy some of my own clothes for
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: a change and I had a little extra money. So then,
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: of course, I came to the whole situation of how
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: am I going to go to college? I'm making $ 16
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: a week. I wouldn't get you in college.
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: But I watched.
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: God always provide in ways that I couldn't figure out.
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: In other words, I could never have figured out how
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: to go to college, making that kind of money.
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: Um, and this was the second story I wanted you
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: to tell about how you got to college because the
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: point of this is your, your confidence in God and
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: your faith in God was not passive. And this is
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: one of the things you taught me. You don't sit
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: back and ask God to do something and then just wait. You,
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: your work ethic has always been extraordinary at the same time,
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: carving out the right amount of time for family. Somehow
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: you figured all that out on your own. Um, So
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: you have always modeled you work as hard as you
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: can possibly work. And then you trust God to honor
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: your hard work. And so once again, this is what
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: happened with the paper route. And then that leads us
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: to this next story as you're trying to figure out
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: how in the world you're going to go to college.
• 29:30
  Speaker 3: Because I look at $ 16 to $ 20 a week and
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: I think, God, I can't even get to Richmond, Virginia,
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: let alone go to college. And so one night, my
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: friend and I were standing on the street kind of
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: just talking, and the pastor of the Baptist church came by.
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: And I'd only been a member of that church probably
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: a year, and he didn't know me very well. And
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: so when he was coming down the street, my friend
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: Julian said, Mr. Hammond, come over here in just a moment.
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: And so he told him what I was doing and
• 30:03
  Speaker 3: I want to go to school and the Lord had
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: called me to preach and I didn't have any money.
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: Could you help me? And he didn't know me.
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: I'd been going to church but not very long at
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: that particular church. So he said, well, come by to
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: see me. So I went by to see him and
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: we talked for probably an hour or so. To make
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: a long story short, I got a four-year scholarship to
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: the University of Richmond with no explanation.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: I know it's... Well, he made a few calls and
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: got you into college on that scholarship. But again, there
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: it is again. You do what you know to do.
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: God brings the right person along. And when I hear
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: you tell that story, I've heard it so many times,
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: little did he know, little did he know that he
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: was the connector between this kid who has a paper route,
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: who just finished high school, who didn't have any money,
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: He was the connector between that unknown kid. And if
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: I can just brag a bit, Dr. Charles F. Stanley,
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: who's preached the gospel all over the world. And at
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: some point years ago, you were through shortwave radio, radio
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: and television, you were in every single major city in
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: the world every single day of the week. And when
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: I think about what hung in the balance potentially of
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: his decision to look at this kid, and apparently there
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: was some sort of internal prompting. I mean, how many
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: kids in, And Danville, Virginia needed a scholarship to college
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: a lot, right? And yet for some reason, he took
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: the time to give you the time. And then after
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: that conversation, leveraged his connections to give you that opportunity.
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: And what an extraordinary role he played in your life.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: And he had no idea. And I have seen you
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: do that for so many people through the years. Again,
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: you can't do everything for everybody. But as I say,
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: you know, do for one what you wish you could
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: do for everyone. And he did for one what I'm
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: sure he wished he could do for everyone. And you
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: have done that as well. And it always makes me
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: stop and think when somebody asks for something specific or
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: something I don't really have the time or the resources
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: to do, I think, We have no idea who God
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: brings into our lives, but to be sensitive to that
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: still small voice and to do for one what, of course,
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: we can't do for everyone.