Latest / Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive / April 11, 2017 | Expresso - Shahira Stafford

Transcript

April 11, 2017 | Expresso - Shahira Stafford · Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hello.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Well, when the first picture comes up, it's in honor of Easter week.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's a picture of my kiddos with the creepy Easter bunny when they were babies.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: But like Connie said, I'm Shahira Stafford.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: I used to think I was so mean for putting them through that trauma, but I think it's just funny now.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like Connie said, I'm Shahira Stafford.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm 36 years old.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: I've been married to my best friend Eric for almost 14 years.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: We have two children, Cole and Avery, who will be nine in July.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: My family started attending TBC when I was 12, and it's been my home church ever since.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Let me start by confessing how scary it is to be up here.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: When Angela asked if I wanted to share my testimony at Espresso, I desperately wanted to find a reason to say no.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: I have a very small comfort zone, and this falls far outside of it.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: I also struggled with finding something valuable to say.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: My testimony isn't anything exciting or dramatic, one of those I was saved in church when I was seven, sort of stories.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: And a relatively easy life after that, praise God.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I wasn't sure I had anything worth sharing, but after meeting with Connie, she said something that I think I knew in my head but hadn't felt in my heart before.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: She said that God meets us wherever we are in our lives, as a daughter, wife, mother, and he can use those roles for his purposes.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: So that's my hope for tonight that what I share will ultimately point to him and maybe give someone a nugget of encouragement somewhere along the way.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: These are my beautiful parents.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: My favorite picture I have of them when they were younger.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like Connie mentioned, I'm going to start at the very beginning.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: I was born in Cairo, Egypt.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm the youngest of three girls.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: My sisters are eight and ten years older than me, so I'm very much the baby of our family.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: My mom had me when she was 42.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: Medically, she wasn't supposed to have any more children, but God had other plans.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: The United States first opened immigration from Egypt in 1967.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: My parents applied and were accepted in 1968.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: However, the Egyptian prime minister at the time banned anyone with a postgraduate degree from leaving the country.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: Both with PhDs, my parents couldn't leave.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: It took 12 years and many reapplications later before their entry visa finally arrived in August of 1980, just days after I was born.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: They were given eight months to prepare, pack, and move their entire life to America, now with three young girls in tow.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Their families initially didn't understand why they wanted to leave Egypt so badly.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: By the country's standards, my parents were highly educated, had good jobs, kids in private school, and my dad came from a pretty wealthy family.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: But they were also Christians in a very Muslim world.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: And my dad especially saw the writing on the wall and knew that there would be no easy future for his daughters in the Middle East.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: I know this picture's hard to see, but this was taken in the airport when we first arrived in the States.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: My mom's brother lived in Houston, Texas at the time, so that's where we first landed.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: It took several moves for different teaching jobs until my dad finally found stability and a decent paycheck to support his family in Topeka, Kansas, working as a research chemist for the state.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: I was three years old.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: My parents moving to America was my first introduction to God's goodness.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: From as early as I can remember, my parents shared stories of how the Lord watched over them, protected them, and orchestrated things for them during that very uncertain and scary time.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Stories he brought, stories of people he brought into their lives, sometimes just for a short time, to bless my family.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: That built a foundation of faith for me and my sisters, and I'm thankful my parents didn't fail to use their journey to teach us how to really trust God with your life.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: And this is when we about the time we first moved to Topeka.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like I mentioned at the beginning, my life has been relatively easy, thanks to God.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: Growing up, we lived in a nice neighborhood, attended good schools, and were involved in plenty of activities.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: My parents did everything they could to make me and my sisters feel as normal and American as they could.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: I started ballet classes almost immediately, and it quickly became my thing.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: Growing up, I was at the studio several nights a week and got to perform in many full-length ballets.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't gonna be a professional by any stretch of the imagination, but boy did I love dancing.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: I attended a Christian school through the fifth grade.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: We wore culottes to gym class and memorized a lot of scripture.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Your typical Christian school 25 years ago, I'd guess.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: As a kid, I remember praying and reading my Bible pretty regularly.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: Again, I had good examples in my parents.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: Their daily quiet time was a sure thing.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Even now I can clearly picture dad praying in the front living room of our house every morning and mom reading her Bible in their bed each night.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: I wish I could say I've copied their example as an adult, but unfortunately, my prayer and Bible reading time is one of my biggest struggles.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: When I got to high school, though, things started to look quite different.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: I was a cheerleader with lots of friends, and most were not believers.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: I remember having a strong feeling of not wanting to be different, not wanting to stand out in any way.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: I was going along to get along, and my life showed little resemblance to that of a supposed Christian.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: I still went to church with my family and at home did all the things, but on the weekends with my friends, I was something else.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: Partying and drinking.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: And that sort of double life pretty much continued through college.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: I surely didn't deserve God to watch over me as I made some really poor decisions, but I'm so grateful he did.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: My husband Eric and I both went to Washpa'n Rule.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: We didn't start dating until the summer after we graduated.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: I was already planning to go to KU and him K State, so we dated long distance all through college and got married after we graduated.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: We both got our first jobs in Topeka and attended TBC together from the start.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: A few years later, we joined a small group, which looking back was probably the best decisions we've ever made together as a couple.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: It was through that group that God began drawing us into a relationship with him.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: Just a quick note about my husband's religious background.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: His family moved from Indianapolis to Topeka when he was in the fifth grade.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: He was baptized and went to church with his mom and sister in Indiana, but that stopped after they moved.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: His dad wasn't going to church with them, and his mom had a hard time finding one where she felt comfortable.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: So his relationship with God was pretty casual up until this point.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: Well, five years into our marriage, we decided to start a family.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like most, I thought it would be easy.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: I had it all scheduled out.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't know me, I'm about as type A as they come.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: I would get off birth control three months before wanting to actually get pregnant to give my body time to adjust.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: We'd conceive in July because I wanted a spring maternity leave.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: And three years later, we'd have another.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: It was the perfect plan that never happened.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: Because of a medical condition with me, it took us three years and four rounds of IUI to finally get pregnant.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: Three years of doctors, ultrasounds, and needles, three years of wondering how we were going to pay for all these fertility treatments, three years on our knees praying for a baby.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: Three years of wondering if God even wanted me to be a mother.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: Every pregnancy announcement or baby shower invitation that came would put me in a hole for days.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: And since most of my friends were the ones getting pregnant and having babies, I really didn't feel I had anyone that I could unleash those emotions to.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: Even my husband, who God has blessed with a gift of optimism that I definitely don't have, couldn't understand or feel what I was feeling.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: But the friendships we had in our small group were different.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: We were living life together, and there was no way of hiding how I really felt for long.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: How thankful I am that God knew what we needed before we did and provided people in our life that we could cry with, pray with, and in the end celebrate with.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: It was all a little overwhelming.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: But the pediatrician would say, sanity returns to the house when sleep does, and he was right.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: Now that my children are older and can do most things for themselves, oh how I'd wish to go back to those early physically demanding days sometimes.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: Because this emotional parenting stuff is harder, and the guilt when I mess up is worse.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, I know they're only eight.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: But I know that I can rest in the fact that God loves these children more than I do, and that his grace covers my parenting shortcomings every time.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: And he's given us another small group of fellow parents that I feel so blessed to be able to do this crazy stage of life with.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: This is our small group in Mexico, minus one couple who couldn't make it and we miss terribly.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: To wrap it up, I'm not sure I have anything figured out enough to offer anyone advice.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still learning how to live this authentic Christian life thing each day as a wife, mother, and friend.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: But how thankful I am that God is so patient, that He doesn't get tired of me, and He doesn't hold sin over my head, and that He's always there, ready to meet me wherever I am.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening.