Latest / Mane AF / EP #3 26 Years. 19 Married. No Exit Plan. (Send Help!)

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EP #3 26 Years. 19 Married. No Exit Plan. (Send Help!) · Mane AF

• Tyler: Well, hello Renae. How are you doing? Hello. How was your day today? Renae: I have already forgotten. Tyler: I heard you singing up there. Renae: my voice lesson. Yes, I take voice lessons. How was your day, Tyler? Tyler: My day was ⁓ pretty wild and crazy and good. I did about uh... ⁓ eight to ten radio interviews in the morning, then I did Yahoo Life, had a great interview with the lady for that, and ⁓ all for the podcast. I talked about uh... how I found out I had cancer and how I got rid of it, how I'm working on getting rid of it with the uh... with the super fuzzy. I'm super fuzzy, I know. I look like a Hairless cat with a few stray hairs on his ass. Renae: hairless anymore. It was it's funny because it fell out and then already in the second round it started growing back. Tyler: But it is growing in very sparse ⁓ ... Renae: Well, I'm surprised it's going back at all. Tyler: I hope it does. I hope it does. Some people have said that it's grown back during their chemo, so you never know. I mean Renae: That's what I'm saying. Tyler: I know, but I look like I say, I look like a hairless cat with a few tufts out of his ass. It's not looking good. Not proud of it like I was proud of my beard before. But anyhow. Renae: I'm Renae Geerlings. Tyler: And I'm Tyler Mane ⁓ Renae: This is Mane AF, the podcast where we talk about uh... life, work, and reinvention. Tyler: And all the wake up calls that hit you in midlife. Renae: We've both had careers, curveballs, second acts, big lessons, and a few what the hell just happened moments. Tyler: So we're here to figure it out out loud, with honesty, humor, and maybe a little bit of oversharing. Renae: This is the part where you finally stop pretending and start answering the call. Tyler: Welcome to Midlife Marriage and Mayhem. We're Mane AF. I think we did it. Kind of. Renae: little awkward, but we don't do anything not a little awkward. Tyler: Yeah, what the fuck? Renae: And this is our third episode. In theory, if we're doing them in the order we were planning. Tyler: Yes, and this is all about uh... our relationship, how we met and ⁓ yeah, the twenty ⁓ six year journey. ⁓ I I'm telling you, I'm I'm baffled that you're still with me, but what the fuck, I guess that's good on ya. Renae: Hey, I am not always the easiest to live with either. Tyler: Well, I mean, when we i we first met, which is kind of crazy, at a Renae: we gonna talk about uh... the time we actually met the first time or are we gonna talk about uh... Yeah. Tyler: Time that's Renae: So the for people who haven't heard the story, what happened was it was summer of 2000. I was just coming back from the premiere of Witchblade, which was the a comic book that I was an editor on for Top Cow. It had just had its premiere screening at a real theater in Chicago, and I came back to the wizard party across from the Rosemont. Or next to the Rosemont, and walked in feeling pretty proud of myself that we had this TV show, walk into the party and see this very tall, long-haired man across the room standing at the bar. And I thought, wow, you don't you don't get a lot of that at a comic book convention. And so after talking to my friends, I meandered around the pool and walked up to the bar. And asked what your name was. ⁓ And in the loud bar, I thought he said John Wayne. And so I said, What? You can't have that. It's taken. And he looked down at me like I was an idiot. And he said, Tyler Mane? And I was like, ⁓ So what do you do? ⁓ And all the little fanboys around me smacked me. ⁓ and said, dude, he was saber-tooth. And then I felt like an idiot because of course that's who he was. And then I admitted, I haven't seen it yet. Now that was super embarrassing because everyone had seen that film in the comic book industry, except for me. And that was actually my artist's fault because I was supposed to go see that movie in Westwood. right, it was Westwood. It was right by UCLA or whatever that one was. And you would have been there. I would have met you at that screening had I gone. But all of the artists, we were all supposed to go as a company, all the artists brought me their artwork as they were walking out. And I needed to get it all scanned and FedEx put in or put into FedEx boxes and sent out. And so everybody else went to the movie. And I, like some little comic book Cinderella, ended up having to stay back and work. Because they all waited till the very last minute to hand me stuff that I then needed to do by five or six o'clock, whatever it was, to get it in. So Tyler: But that's typical artists. That is. Typical artists. That is. Now they just send it to you on digital files and it's still late. But that's also true. Renae: True. so that is so that's how we met. So once I figured out who he was and was completely embarrassed that I had just made a total fool out of myself, I basically said, Okay, well, nice to meet you. Bye. And I ran back to my friends and said, my gosh, you see that guy over there. I just made a total fool out of myself in front of him. And they were all like, Who? The guy who played Sabretooth? And I was like, my gosh. yep. But then you did meander over. Tyler: We did talk again. Yeah. Renae: And you talk. And you took my business card. And what happened to that business card? Tyler: I did. I d I I kept your business card. Did you? I did. I did keep your business card. I know I said I was going to call you, but I Renae: Did not use it. Tyler: I knew I had to try and solve my problem finalizing that divorce, but it still took a long time. And it was a year, a year went by that I was I was crushed that I'd missed my opportunity to find the love of my life, my soulmate, my life partner. And I was right. And so I I planned to go back the next year, hoping that you would be there. And I remember being so excited on the convention floor. Someone was walking me through and I saw you and I waved to you and you did not wave back to me. So I was like, fuck, I blew this one. And and that was what's going through my whole for a whole year, I was like, did I screw this up? Did I screw this up? Did I screw this up? Then I'm finally see you. I wave. I'm so excited. I didn't get anything back. And I was like crushed. Crushed for the convention. Renae: And then my brother. Tyler: W well, y I tr I tried taking you on a date, like for after the show. Remember, I tried we tried to go for Renae: Yeah, but that was for my brother. Tyler: is that after your brother? See, I'm getting corrected again. Renae: Okay. Tyler: Well okay, so you looked right at me. You look right at me. Renae: No, but you do conventions now. And you do them a lot. And you know how when you're talking to somebody and you're signing for somebody, your eyes flit around things moving, but you aren't actually focused on anything past four or five feet from the table and it's just there's so much going on. Tyler: Well that's what I love about uh... you. You engage with the person you're talking to instead Renae: Well I was engaged with the people I was talking to. I did not see you. I did not Tyler: sh I saw that you saw me. Renae: see you. Trust me, if you would have waved at me, I would not have felt nearly as awkward walking back up to you that night. Tyler: I was like making a fool of myself trying to get your attention that on the convention floor. But but that's okay. I you know, that's me showing that I have no game. Renae: So my brother was with me at the wizard party and ⁓ Jason Muse. I was so excited I was going to introduce my brother to Jason Mewes I had just seen him at the Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back premiere the night before we got to the con. And then ⁓ the the night I got to the con, I saw him in the bar and he waved and he was like, Hey, I said, Are you gonna be at the wizard party? He said, Yes. My brother is a huge Kevin Smith fan. And I was so excited that I was finally going to be able to introduce my brother. For the record, Kevin Smith is actually the only person I have ever stood in line for for a signature. And it was for my brother. yeah. And so Jay's gonna be there, Ross is gonna be there, Ross shows up. No Jay. No Jay. And now I feel like I have crushed my brother's dreams. And then you walked in the door. And and then I said to my brother, Hey, there's that guy I met last year who played Sabretooth. Do you want to meet him? Now I didn't think he was gonna take me up on it. I thought he'd be like, No, it's cool. Totally called my bluff and was like, Yeah, yeah, I want to meet him. And then Tyler: And that was my inn. Renae: yeah, but then I was like, no, he said he was gonna call me and he didn't, so clearly, like he didn't think very much of me. So I had to meander my way across the room. Mark Silvestri was standing right next to you, my boss. So I talked to Mark for a few minutes. Yeah, I talked to Mark for a few minutes, and then I had to try to play it cool and be like hey. Like I didn't know you were standing there, all six foot nine of you at the time. yeah, I had to pretend, hey, you probably don't remember me, but we met last year and you looked down at me with this super angry face and you were like, I waved at you today, and you did not wave back. And I did not know what to say to that. I just had nothing. Tyler: Yeah, I led one my best line. Renae: I and I said, I did not see you. And then you looked at me and you went, I am seven feet tall. How do you miss me? And I I think I just was like Tyler: Great line. Renae: I I don't know. But this is my brother Ross. And then you proceeded to pull drink tickets out of your pocket and you had tickets like you were Tyler: They give me a ton of drink. Renae: like one of those kids who'd played skee ball forever at one of the Pizzas places. You just had a roll of drink tickets. You got my brother so intoxicated that night that he was he was a weeble wobble in the chair. And then he said, I need to go back to the room. And we were both like, No, you can't lay down. If you lay down, you'll get really sick. So then you used your drink tickets to sober him up with a bunch of Coke, Coca-Cola. And Tyler: Yeah. But he was my in. He was. Your your brother became my wingman. Renae: Your unwitting wingman. Tyler: Maybe. Renae: Meeting number two. And then, yes, and then you asked me out for dinner the night following, which was also another near miss. I didn't realize you were going to the award. So I waited at my hotel and then was like, he doesn't have any idea where I am. And you didn't. I don't know actually how you knew where my hotel was because you said that before that you went to my hotel. And I'm like, well, that's scary, because I didn't tell you where my hotel was. I was Tyler: Well, didn't I the night before help you get Ross back to the Renae: No, he sobered up and I took him back. Tyler: well, I don't know. Okay, I was stalking you. I don't know. I don't know. Renae: So I waited for you. You didn't come. I ended up going to Knuckles. And anybody who loved the Chicago con back in the nineties and two thousands knows Knuckles. that place. Moment of silence for Knuckles Bar. Tyler: That was an amazing place. You were there. And then I came in afterwards. Yeah. After I had my obligations that I had to do for the convention. Yeah. and you stood me up. So I figured, okay, I'll just go over to Knuckles and and get drunk and drink away my sorrows. And there you were with a bunch of fanboys. And you were surrounded by I think I think there were like six of them or something. Renae: Five or six. It was like in the booth. I was I was sitting on Tyler: And they were so upset that I came 'cause they were all trying to talk to you. Yes, they were. Renae: They were not. I'm friends with a lot of them on Facebook, so they'll be able to weigh in and tell you exactly exactly. Tyler: They they were all upset. But it was that. There was there was some guy from France there too. I can't remember who that was. I can't remember who he was, but he was a a crazy little crazy little Frenchman. But I I remember that was that the night that they all drew the saber tooth on the paper for me? I still have that. I still have that. Yes, it was. Renae: That means Brandon McKinney was there. Wasn't Tyler: probably, yeah. Renae: it Brandon McKinney was the artist I worked with later and Tyler: Do you know how many times I've been dropped on my head in my career? I can't remember anybody's name. I can't remember what I had for breakfast, let alone I might be remembering Renae: But Tyler: But yeah, so then after that we both went our own ways. We had a great night Renae: Yeah. Tyler: and then we went our own Renae: Yeah. And the next day we had dinner. Tyler: I remember trying to figure out when do I call you back so I don't look too obvious. Yeah. Renae: Yeah, 'cause you'd only waited a year the last time. Tyler: I know. Well, look it. I had a lot of stuff. Man, I was I had so much going on in my head. S I I was like I say, I had no game with women, and I'm trying to go through this divorce, and I'm trying to figure out do I want to even get in another situation? But I knew I didn't want to lose you. So it was it was the craziest time in my life. Mm-hmm. You know, for for for stuff like that. And I called you three days later. Renae: five. Tyler: Okay. Five days later. Yep. Renae: You what I did not know was that you had actually flown back through Kansas well, Missouri to see your kids. Yes. And I think that you were there for like four days or something like that. And then you got back and you called me on the fifth day. But it was funny because you called me at at work. Yeah, you must have called my work phone. because I did not have a cell phone yet at that point. That's crazy. I didn't have a cell phone. Is that true? I didn't. I did not have a cell phone yet at that point. So you called me on my work line. And it was right after David Wool, who I shared an office with, had just said to me, Hey, what happened to that guy? Didn't he say he was gonna call you last year? And did he call you this year? And I was like, No, he did not. And my phone rang. So that was timing. That was pretty good timing. Tyler: was everything. And then I came down to your work and and you showed me around and your one of your bosses left a lasting impression. And what did he say? He d totally, totally misread the book. Renae: He did. He did. He Tyler: And what did he say to you? Renae: asked me why I would bother dating an actor because you know he just has a harem. And I was like, I feel you obviously haven't seen this guy's game. No, I just, I I I was like, I I feel like that is not who this guy is. but of course I told you that he said that. And then I told him that I told you and you did not appreciate it. So I had this whole drama building and then you showed up and Tyler: We ran into each other in the hall? Renae: Wait. Yeah, because Matt's office had a glass wall and and like blinds was the was the wall in the hallway. And he was on the phone, and I walked you past his office, and I remember you doing your best look and him being on the phone and going, no. I like you could just be like, and he was on the phone. So he went back to my office. And then when we came back out, you came around the corner and you guys actually like bounced off of each other. He bounced. Tyler: Well he bounced off of me. I didn't bounce off at him. Renae: dude. I was just kidding, man. Just kidding. I was totally kidding. Tyler: Yeah. Renae: Matt. Tyler: That's Yeah. But i I mean like ha the beginning our our relationship Renae: Well we didn't get very much of a honeymoon. Tyler: We got no honeymoon. We I I was so mixed up in my head. I was such a scared rabbit and and I'm our i it was crazy because I I think our first date, let's go to our first date where I asked you to go to the event at Universal City Renae: yeah, you put Tyler: Wide. I didn't know what it was. My PR people who I had still from either from the movie or from something that they threw me a threw me a bone and said, Hey, do you want to go to this event? And I was like, Yeah, sure. I Yeah, and I asked you if you would like to come. Yep. Renae: But you didn't tell me it was an event. Tyler: I didn't know what it was really. I don't pay attention to stuff like that. Renae: You pretty much said, I have been invited to a concert up at Universal Tyler: Universal City. Renae: City Walk. No mention of a red carpet or being Tyler: We parked and walked in and we rounded the corner and we were right smack dab on the Trinitron. It was like Ooh, yeah. Yeah. Renae: red carpet, yeah. Hi. Tyler: But it was a really cool event. I mean it was I I mean it was for Steven Seagal's band Renae: Even Segal's hand. Tyler: But the cooler people, the cooler kids Renae: I forget what charity it was for. It was it was a charity event. Steven Segal's band was headlining and Alicia Keyes ⁓ performed. Tyler: Yeah. Renae: And this was I mean, I she was gaining notoriety, but she was not. Tyler: She was not Alicia. She was so sweet to talk to too. Renae: ⁓ She was so amaz. ⁓ her massive bodyguard Alicia. And she was just the sweetest. And I was just bowled over by how much talent she hadn't, obviously. Tyler: There was that was an action I mean, that was a a star packed event, y you know. Renae: You introduced me to Pamela Anderson because she had just done VIP, which I was like, Whoa. ⁓ That was pretty cool. And she was dating Kid Rock at the time. Tyler: Yeah, he was there. Renae: And I ⁓ loved Bawitaba That was that was Bawitaba was his first album. Tyler: Who to what? ⁓ And apparently Def Leopard was there. ⁓ Renae: ⁓ I snorted. I don't know. ⁓ This is like this pretty much set the scene for ⁓ this Tyler: The crazy Renae: is like the foundation of... Tyler didn't have any idea who anybody was and I kept ⁓ look who that is. Look who that is. Tyler: Not a clue and and ⁓ I mean like I'm like how am I gonna top this event to you? But yeah. Yeah. So Renae: That one is pretty cool. Tyler: tell tell them the the Def Leopard ⁓ Renae: I don't think you want me telling them the Def Leopard story. Tyler: Well no, I mean th you explained who they were and I was like that's pretty Renae: And I said, Well, that's the drummer. And you were like, he only has one arm. And you said it so loud. And I was so mortified. And then I left. Tyler: You went to the bathroom. You went to the bathroom or something and it and then you come back and I'm sitting in between them and we're just talking and they were the coolest guys. Renae: Yeah, I had like an out of body experience. I that was there was just so much celebrity there. And I was, you know, I'd been living in Los Angeles for a couple of years. not really rubbing elbows with I mean I guess I had, but not like that. Not where not where it was like, and now you're in the VIP section. It was always like, look, it's David Schwimmer at three clubs or Joaquin Phoenix sitting next to you at the bar or Dr. Dre up at North. Or I mean there was just, you know, they would they would be there. But Tyler: Right. So that was your first real interaction with them? Type of thing? Renae: That was my first real VIP. Tyler: Yeah. And then it went downhill from there. Then it went downhill from there. Yeah. Our second Renae: Sure, when I realized that you were trying to play the role of baller, but actually had no money. Tyler: I had no ball. Yeah. I had nothing. Renae: Tell about uh... the Vegas ⁓ date. It's actually Tyler: Jesus. Renae: one of my favorite dates. Tyler: I got invited to this celebrity golf tournament in Las Vegas and they were paying for everything. Renae: All inclusive. Tyler: But what I didn't realize is that the when we got there the night before Renae: On Thursday. Tyler: we had to cover our own stuff and I didn't have very much cash. Renae: Forty dollars, as I recall. Tyler: Yeah, forty dollars. So I'll let you explain and take this away because I know you're gonna correct me somehow on this one. Renae: I... I we just we got there and you had forty dollars and I said, Well, I can buy dinner and you were like, No, no, no. Tyler: Well first we went and Renae: So let's go gamble. So we turned the forty dollars into nickels. We were doing pretty well. got a little too into it and then all of a sudden realized that we'd gone up and then we'd gone all the way back down and you had something like eight dollars and fifty cents left. Tyler: Yeah, fuck. I and I was like I was crushed. I was like, How am I going to survive the rest of this night? And Renae: We went to Tyler: We went to Panda Express and we shared an orange chicken. Yep. And I was It w it was so cool that you were willing to go along with that and and you saw that I was going through a tough time. Renae: Also I do just wanna say now that you know me, what's really special about uh... Tyler: I know you would. yes. Yeah, you do not like Asian food. No, I know. Wow. Renae: You never thought of that. Tyler: Did you? I did not think of that. I'm just you appall Asian Renae: I'm not a fan. Tyler: food and you do not Renae: It's I don't know why. Wow. And it's not true. It's not across the board. There are always there's always something, but just kind of in general. Tyler: You must have kinda liked me to put up with that. Renae: I did. Tyler: It was a great date. And we went super fun. We went to to bed, got up the next morning for the round of golf. Renae: So yeah, so everything is swanky. Tyler: Everything was paid for. Everything was great. We're on the golf court. You're riding with me. And I think it was the fifth hole, was a par three. Was it the other one? It was the third or the fifth. It was the third or fifth hole that we played. And one of the guys in our group who was completely drunk had the worst golf shot. Of the world. It trickled down through the creek, came up the other side, ⁓ onto the green rolled and fell in the hole. ⁓ And he won a Toyota Sequoia. Ed Renae: Yeah, and Ed O'Ross remember Tyler: O'Ross came running. ⁓ And I was like, ⁓ my God, that figure is I can't I Renae: Can't even buy a corner. Tyler: chicken and this guy's winning a car. Yeah. ⁓ So the only way y you know, and so that we were we were all still drinking and then the game was over after that. But either we're lucky or we're lucky. Just go with lucky. We're going with lucky. Renae: We're lucky. Lucky lucky. Nothing hurts to just go with lucky. Tyler: and I was so scared that first the beginning of our relationship, I tried sabotaging it so many times too. And and I mean Renae: Couldn't get rid of Tyler: why you kept coming back? I don't Renae: Yeah. Tyler: I was such an ass for some of the things I did and probably said and but but I was scared. I I I was like, do I want to go through something like this again? Renae: Yeah, so you just break up with me. Tyler: So I would break up with you. well we probably broke up what? Renae: No, we didn't break up. You broke up with me. I don't know how many times I remember my friend, Tyler: Clean, wasn't Renae: I think it was my friend Siro. ⁓ and she was like, How Tyler: So Renae: you doing? And I was like, Well, I'm going to pick up my stuff from Tyler's apartment. And she was like, What do you mean? I was like, Yep, he broke up with me ⁓ again. ⁓ And it would start off like a fine normal. Hey, I'm done with work. I'm gonna come up and see you. Is that cool? Yeah, yeah, that'd be great. That'd be great. And then you'd start ruminating about uh... some conversation you just had. with your ex, and then you'd get frustrated and then suddenly you'd you'd turn it on to me. You'd be upset with me about uh... something silly. And then, well, I guess we should just break up. So we got custody of the kids in two thousand three, August. And I had been told that you were never getting married again. Tyler: Yeah. God. I tried I was trying to gloss over this part because yeah. Yep. Damn it. Renae: And I was having a bit of a midlife crisis because it's hard to go from playing in a band in Hollywood and hanging out in the clubs and having ⁓ ragers for three days, and then suddenly ⁓ one finds oneself in a two bedroom apartment living in ⁓ Santa Clarita, which is about uh... as suburbia as you can get, ⁓ with a Tyler: Yeah. Renae: six and a seven year old. Tyler: InstaMom. Renae: Instamum. And yeah, I was having a bit of a quarter life crisis. Tyler: Quarter life. I'm glad you switched from midlife to quarter life. Yeah. Renae: This was my quarter life crisis. ⁓ And ⁓ I said I did not want to get married. And you said, Great, because neither do I. And then I was having this quarter life crisis. And all of a sudden you said, Well, now I'm not going to get you your birthday present. And I had no idea why you were not going to get me the car stereo that we had been talking about uh... , because I was very excited about uh... the car stereo. And you said that like three times as I was ruminating about uh... , ⁓ life, ⁓ and how I didn't know what was going on with my life and ⁓ I'm living in suburbia don't Tyler: You still don't to this day. Renae: to this day. And ⁓ then you I finally realized kind of I started picking up what you were putting down and I said, you're not talking about uh... a ring, are you? And you were like, well not now. And I first of all said, you said you were never getting married. Do not propose to me in no uncertain terms. Do not propose to me. I am not there. Weren't you said you weren't getting married. Also, and by the way, you do not cheat with an engagement. You do not propose to somebody on Valentine's Day or Christmas or their birthday. That engagement gets its own day. You do not sully it by packing it in with something else. You don't get like a like a double header holiday. No. Tyler: I had to so I would remember the day. Renae: No. Tyler: And I just remembered it now. Yeah. Renae: That was November second or third that we had that conversation. Yes. My birthday is November fourth. And I came home from work, wasn't feeling very well. Somebody'd fed me fish for lunch, which also was a no-go for me. And laying on the couch, heard a knock knock on the door with some plastic crinkling. I thought you guys had come back from the grocery store. And I went over, I whipped the door open, and I was already walking away when I realized what I had seen. And I turned back around and much to my horror and amazement, all three of them were on one knee holding four roses, each of them, symbolizing the four of us. And they all three together said, Will you marry us? Tyler: That's a great proposal. Renae: I want to get a relationship therapist on here to talk about uh... this manipulation. ⁓ still Tyler: Well that is our next you know that is our next Renae: owe me another proposal. And I told him he did. So the kids are all, I was like, ha ha, I guess. Uh-huh. ⁓ And I gave the kids both hugs and they were all like, Yay, are you really gonna marry him? And I was like, ha ha, ⁓ I guess so. ⁓ And then I walked away from you and you were like, and you didn't understand. Why I was frustrated by that proposal. And I told you you owe me another one and you never did Tyler: That is the theme of our damn relationship. I'm always in trouble, always wondering what I do did wrong. Renae: Spite the fact that you have been very clearly Tyler: Told what not to do. And that's what guys do. That is what guys do. So maybe yes, we do need a marriage counselor to come on here and unpack all of this crap. But we've made it 26 years. I just want you to know that. How I don't know. So 2007, Renae: So in two thousand seven. Tyler: we had enough money finally saved up, and I was like, we need to You had saved up. Yes, I had enough money saved up. And I was like, and that was a Pretty good rebound for me. You know, I I was pulling my pants. Renae: Not good yet though. Tyler: Credit sucked. But I had the money. And I said, let's buy a house. Cause we knew we needed to get out of that apartment, right? Renae: It was pretty small. Tyler: It was pretty small. So we went house hunting and found our first house together. I Renae: I love that also. Tyler: know. Actually, I thought I was in trouble because when we went into that house, you walked in and started crying. And then Stuck your face into my chest and said, Don't let them see me like this and was like, What did I do? Renae: ⁓ And as you know, even leaving it in 2018 was like ripping my arms off. I still cried about uh... leaving that house. I loved our house. I loved that house. ⁓ yes, but so I had the credit. Tyler: You had the credit, I had the money. Yeah. Renae: Yes. And that was a low point of Tyler: A little bit. Renae: And so I little bit, well, we're already committed for thirty years. Why don't we just get married? Tyler: And you you said that you even Renae: Still owe me another proposal. Tyler: I'm working on it. I'm working it up. I'm trying to figure out the right words to use to ask you as we speak. As we speak. But I do remember our wedding. Your brother got ordained to marry us. We did a small wonder. Renae: Well, Tyler: I did a small wedding in our living room and we said, with this house, I the wedding. I the wed. Yeah. Renae: Well, except that I said you said, now we need rings. Cause I said, we should just well let's just we'll just get married in the living room then. We'll just we'll just do a ceremony here. We'll just get married, whatever. And you were like, Really? Tyler: ⁓ I was excited because my first my first marriage that I went through was hell. ⁓ They invited like a hundred and fifty, two hundred and fifty people. No, but they they had to have the big wedding with the you know, walking down the aisle, showing off to everybody. It was a cluster ... fuck. And then Renae: And you were like, we need rings. And I was like, No, we already spent too much on this house. Not need Tyler: And where did Renae: a ring. I do not want a ring. Tyler: Where did we go shopping for rings? I said no, we need rings. We needed rings and Renae: PawnStars was on TV. Yes. So we went to the Beverly Hills Pawn Shop. Tyler: 'Cause we figured they'd have some good races at the Beverly Hills Pawn shop. Renae: They had for me, they had an opal, which unfortunately as somebody who is quite a klutz, I popped that opal out a couple times and then started chipping it. So I only wear it on very special occasions. This is my grandmother's wedding band from her wedding in 1947 to my grandfather, and that's what I small. Doesn't catch on things very much, but it is really wearing down. Tyler: Yeah. And and I didn't we we specifically chose that we didn't want to get wedding bands. You know? Like mine mine is a very different ring. It doesn't fit my finger. I gotta get that resized. But that happens. Well, I don't know how finger I don't mascular. I don't know how my fingers got fatter, but I guess they do. I guess they do. So yeah. So then, you know. We had a lot of great times in the We had some bad, we had some good Renae: have some pretty bad times. 2012 was rough. Tyler: What was going on in two thousand twelve? Renae: That was that was the lowest point for me in our in our relationship. We filmed compound fracture. Which Tyler: yes, yeah. Renae: filming was fun, but I remember going home at the end of the day every day just so frustrated with you. Tyler: With me. Yes. Renae: filming was one of the most fun times. Tyler: It was the post putting it together, yeah. Renae: Post was a nightmare. Yeah. It was a And in Tyler: Nightmare. Renae: fact, I went home for Christmas that year. That was 2012 when I went home for Christmas for two weeks. And I was like, see ya, I was gone for the holiday because I was and I was doing a rewrite on Penance Lane. And in my mind I was like, I'm gonna do this rewrite, I'm gonna hand it to him, and then I'm gonna be like, we're done. Tyler: We're done? Mm-hmm. Like divorce done? Yeah. We're we're learning. Renae: No, you're not learning. I've told you this before. You're doing Tyler: Probably Renae: that you do, which is where you it works in my favor sometimes, but you conveniently forget things that you don't like. Are you winking at me right now? Tyler: I did. Renae: That's the most awkward wink. Tyler: It was a chemo wink. Renae: Yeah. That was rough. It was it was a Tyler: It was a tough time. It was a tough time. And my drinking was bad. I and and that's a that's something we're gonna get into too in other episodes is is you know, I fought I I still don't say that I was an alcoholic, but you told me very much so that I was an alcoholic and I was fought it and and I realized that I needed to change and finally Renae: Yeah, that was two thousand twelve. Tyler: it took me a while. I'm a slow learner. Renae: You quit drinking. Tyler: About a year and a half ago? Yeah. Like I say, I don't know how we're still together. We've been through some battles and wars. We've been through good times. We've been through bad times. Man, we had some epic parties at that house that people like I mean, we had rock stars there and actors and it was that was some pretty cool times. It was Renae: It was Tyler: Yeah. Renae: Well, and in two thousand twelve I went home for two weeks for Christmas and I think I'm I know you knew it was bad. And when I came back you actually picked me up from the airport with flowers and I remember thinking I missed you when I was home. Tyler: See you. Renae: Yeah. And then you brought me flowers and then you were changing a little while. Tyler: That's the whole thing about uh... ⁓ that's the whole thing about uh... relationships, you know, give and take. And look at I've I'm a a late bloomer and a l ⁓ late learner. So, you know, I'm I'm glad you stuck it out and I'm glad that we're where we are today to be able to do what we're doing, you know? Yeah. Renae: I think people also think like a long-term relationship when you're looking at it from the outside, it seems like it just kind of has a you know, the same kind of through line, but it it is it does not it's Tyler: Ours was a roller coaster ride Renae: and now we have that was 2018 that we officially moved the house. I Tyler: Officially moved. Renae: cried. I know you didn't want to leave LA. I never hyperventilated while sobbing in my life. And leaving that house was the hardest thing. Tyler: that was that was that was a fight. It was so crazy. And you know, most people in our situation would have hired a moving company and and done it that way, but no, not me. I'm gonna rent a van and we rented a big van, packed everything that we could. Well Renae: Yeah. Tyler: the yeah, the the moving. Yeah, and help and p and we packed it as full as we could and then we had to leave some stuff some Renae: Had to leave my trees behind and that did you know that trees recognize their caregiver and I had been caring for those trees for like fifteen years, those ficuses ⁓ just Tyler: Don't make now you're gonna make Renae: didn't fit in the truck. ⁓ To leave them behind. Tyler: I love it. Renae: And I'm still upset about uh... it. Tyler: Hey, I was the ones that got those. Renae: I know I was there. Tyler: I am I'm depressed about uh... that now. Wait a now now I do need a therapist because I'm really depressed about uh... leaving our plants behind that recognize their caregivers. It's true. But anyhow, so we packed everything in and drove across country ⁓ like the hillbillies. And ⁓ ended up here. And and you know, but I guess the the point about uh... all of this is it's we're we're not your typical Hollywood. We're not even close. ⁓ I ⁓ am so not Hollywood. And you know, people people have a misunderstanding about uh... ⁓ actors and and and that, that they're just, you know, butt ass loaded and and all of that. And ⁓ and ⁓ it's it's just that's not the case. It depends on ⁓ how consistent you work and whether you have jobs in between. Renae: Also, don't take into consideration the fact that whatever your paycheck is between taxes, especially if you film in in England, then you're paying UK taxes and American taxes. If you film in Canada, you're paying Canadian and American taxes. You're paying your lawyer. You're paying your manager, you're paying your agent. By the time you take home your shiny little dime, you are Tyler: We're not left with all that much to to keep going on. Renae: No, especially not with streaming. Tyler: But and streaming. You know, and I think that's why I think that's why we've done well and and made it as far as we did because you came from the the background of the comic books and had the steady income. And look at you carried the load of this relationship for quite a while until I got back on my feet. And then now that you're here in Atlanta, you're finally able to pursue your acting more because there's better opportunities too. Renae: When we started this whole thing, what did you think you were getting? Tyler: This whole thing like this relationship? Mm-hmm. Renae: Like what did you think you were getting versus what you got? Yeah. There's a bunch of questions in there. I Tyler: What did I think? I thought I thought and I knew I was getting my soulmate. And I asked you that. And you were like, no, no. Now I think I'm getting my cellmate. Renae: Damn straight. Tyler: But yeah. No, I I mean, I knew I knew we were meant to be together. And I don't know why I tried to sabotage it as much as I did all the way along. And it was And still I s yeah, I probably still do. I mean, we had a doozy yesterday. I kind of lost my Renae: You didn't. Tyler: lost my rockers. But I bring it back quickly. And that's the thing with a relationship. We're we have tough times, but yet. Our good times are so much better than our bad. And that's why we're we've we're making it. Renae: And also just pure stubbornness. Tyler: And granted, yes. do you want to know something though? For all the fights and arguments that we have, as every couple does, I think we're going into our arguments trying to fight for what's best for our relationship and what's best for for us as a team, you know, because I'm I'm never When I'm in a situation Thinking, oh ... it's all about uh... me. I'm I'm thinking what's best for us, you know, and trying to convince you that of what is best for us ⁓ most of the time is ⁓ the fight. Renae: You want. Tyler: Well, I want us to keep leveling up and keep moving forward and keep keep moving forward. I mean we're look at we're in midli I'm in midlife. I'm deep into my midlife. You're just tipping into yours and and it's we've got to we've got to we're just like everybody else. We have to figure out prepare for for what's to come. Renae: What do you think people think about uh... our relationship that you think is not true? Tyler: I don't know. I I mean, I think we have a very tight relationship for all the shit we go through and everything. We're we're tight. We got each other's back and we would go to the dirt for each other. I'm That's true. I know that. I know that. And I know that's why we Renae: Be surprised to know about uh... our relationship. Tyler: You're at a loss for words too. Renae: I think I think people would be surprised how gloves off we can be sometimes when we fight. Like we are brutally honest. That Tyler: yes, we Renae: is not something that like we do not hold back. Tyler: It but that is kind of cathartic, I guess, right? I mean Renae: See, I think I think that's part of it though. Like that's what I was gonna say is like a lot of the times when we get into these fights where we're just kind of where we both have finally had it and it explodes. I think I'm very well aware that a lot of this is Tyler: Brought on by you. Renae: Of my fault. But also yes. But also, Tyler: By you dragging your feet? Renae: Yes. gosh, now my brain just went in five different directions. no, a lot of it I think is I that we're it's it's like putting the gloves on and getting in the right, like we don't really put gloves on. Tyler: We verbally Renae: We verbally but when we verbally spar, it is a little bit of like when You know, the idea of like when a parent would have been to kids like, go put the gloves on and fight it out in the back. There's a little bit of that. Like, we just need to blow off. Tyler: But we know when we've had enough, when we've attacked the person enough. Like we're we'll we'll come at I'll come at you and I'll be like Ooh, I'm kinda hitting her pretty hard here. I better take him back up and walk away a bit and then you'll come chasing me down and you'll be like You don't get to leave like Renae: You don't. Yes, I definitely. Tyler: I mean we have we have our we have our dance down. Renae: I don't get as as agitated as quickly as you do, which I think bothers you. Tyler: Passionate. I'm passionate for this relationship. I will fight for this relationship. Renae: Sometimes I think you just wanna get me riled up because I'm harder to get riled up and when I won't get like the same level of angry as you, sometimes I feel like Tyler: Well we need to fight for the same thing, honey. We need to fight for the same things. Renae: Then when I do finally, you're like, uh-oh. ⁓ Tyler: Then I know to turn that stove off. Renae: I did it. Tyler: Let's do a round of pet peeves for each other. What what's not enough? Okay. What what's your biggest pet peeve Renae: My biggest Tyler: that I that I do? Renae: My biggest pet peeve. boy, I feel like this should be a really obvious one. There's like a bunch of stupid little ones, but I know they're not the biggest one. Tyler: Well just okay, let's let we'll go for we'll go for five rounders. G go for start with Renae: I hate it. I hate it. Tyler: the worst and build up to the or no, start with it start with the start with the least and then build up to the Renae: I hate it that you continually, constantly take new dishes, eat on them, do not rinse them out, and just leave them laying around the house and ditto for things like your clothes. When you leave to go to do a convention, I immediately s do a sweep through the house. I pick up all of your dried on pudding bowls and your dried-on dinner dishes. And your socks that are down there and your shorts that are over there and your socks and your towels that are there and your socks and your underwear usually that are in the bathroom down here. and then your socks next to the bedroom Tyler: Could have used that for five. Renae: and the socks. I'm just saying, like last time I even found your socks in what is it with socks? Why do you leave socks everywhere? Tyler: Well, because when I take my shoes off and we have hardwood floors, I don't leave my socks on so I don't slip. Renae: But why are they Tyler: I just take off where and leave where I'm I Renae: So it becomes like a scavenger hunt to find the articles of clothing that Tyler has just Tyler: Maybe that's why I don't have many socks ⁓ in my sock drawer. ⁓ Renae: Around here. Tyler: I will try to be better about uh... that. I will try to be better about uh... that. Renae: That okay, what's mine? I don't really wanna know. What's mine? Tyler: Well, ⁓ I hate the way you slurp your cough. Renae: I know. Tyler: Is it ⁓ I know? And it is so ... annoying. And then when you eat. Renae: I don't do that. you well Tyler: Yes, you do sometimes. I'm like, I'm like honey, honey, honey. Okay, I will. I will. Is that what I still I still I It is. It's like Renae: Slurping is a problem because when coffee is hot you need to take it in with air. Just and it's not a loud slurp, it's just a little slurp, but you're very sensitive. Tyler: as soon as I see that coffee cup come up to your mouth, I know it's like Pavlov's dog's bell. I'm hearing tingling here comes a fucking slurp. Coffee. Renae: I know. Tyler: Anyhow, I wanna thank everybody for listening to Our podcast. And that that was just, you know, roughly our relationship. and how we got to where we are today. So twenty six years of putting up with each other. Renae: It still owes me a new proposal. Tyler: Damn it. Okay. I'll Renae: Rude. Tyler: I'll figure it out. Well, we've been married since two thousand and seven. So how many years? That's nineteen years. Renae: Maybe twenty years next year. Tyler: Next year I'll figure something out. Renae: You heard it here, folks. ⁓ I am Renae Geerlings. See you next time. Tyler: I am Tyler Mane. ⁓ And this is Mane AF you gotta do your sexy sign off. Renae: I don't know what is my sexy sign off. Tyler: You you you did it the I Renae: Do it. Do it for both. Tyler: can't do it. I c I don't know. I can't do it. You're like what did you say? I don't know. You said something and you were right in. It was so sexy. I was like, Ooh, there she is. Wanted to grab you and take you to the bedroom. Renae: Good ness.