Latest / Jess Ask / Hurt to Covered : Safe Love, Faith & Content Creation | FT Brittani Monique | EP127

Transcript

Hurt to Covered : Safe Love, Faith & Content Creation | FT Brittani Monique | EP127 · Jess Ask

• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Yo, it's your girl Jessica as Smith, and you already
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: know that you've entered the safe space for influencers to decompress,
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: have fun and just ask God for another Do you
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: already know what it is? And then you know it's
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: about to get real to be sure to show your
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: girl the love and like coming subscribe God.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: For another day?
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: Hey, hey, I know we could be another way, yo.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: Yo, yo, is your girl Jessica as Smith and you
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: have landed in the safe place for influences to decompress,
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: have fun and guess what, just as you know, I'm
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: just but you know I do nothing without my girl.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: DESI rate doesn't.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: Rate, does a rate? De rate? Does at rate? DEESI rate?
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: Go?
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: You so old?
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: That's what you're gonna be doing when we turned forty. Yeah,
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: I just learned that today we we did we had
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: an introduction to our guests, and I was like, yeah,
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: she just she just learned how to squat and do
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: her thing. I'm gonna teach you all the guest song
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: that we did.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it was good. When she said she liked it,
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: she said she liked it? Does at right? How you
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: feeling this blest?
• 1:21
  Speaker 4: Oh?
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: Okay? Come on first, bless today. But for real, I'm
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: feeling really good.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: I'm very grateful, and I think I think that's just
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: the theme of this month, because you know, it's such
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: a beautiful month and things, you know, and it's just
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: a beautiful month.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: Why is it so beautiful?
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: No, because it's because it's it's October. October is a
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: wonderful month. Oh, it is a wonderful month.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: Why is it?
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: Why is a month? Why is it a wonderful, wonderful month?
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: You know, because it's just the month that I just
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: so happened to grace this planet with my presence, you know,
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: so so you want.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: This happy birthday two?
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, hat big birthday too, Yeah, happy birthday, hay birthday. Yes,
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: that's all you get because I already said we along
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: with No, it's okay because it is what it is. Hey,
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: but y'all make sure if you do nothing else all
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: all month long, all months, it's a demand ah bye
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: bye bye bye bye bye of the Lord to celebrate
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: desert right because we're grateful. You're grateful, you're grateful to
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: be alive because this thing, right, you know, the Lord
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: is preserving. I'm on preserve because I don't. I don't
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: look how old I am. I'm very grateful for that. Okay,
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: your girl knocking on forty next year. Yeah, and we're
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: doing something big. Okay, so y'all go ahead and get
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: that coin ready because we we say.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: Uh, pray good times. Come on.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: You don't want to be celebrated. You don't really have
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: a choice. I'm telling you, you're in it bag. Thank
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: you for giving me a head tub. Okay, you just
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: just refer to this anytime you want to, all right,
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: So anyway, so that's why I'm really excited about our
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: guest today.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: To listen.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: Listen, this this young lady. This, I'm gonna call her
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: a timda Ronie Okay, young and timble.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: Okay, but taken.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: Okay, let's go ahead and start there, Okay, since she'll
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: let you know before I do. Okay, but no, this,
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: this this young lady has really changed the game for
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: me personally and and my idea of content creation.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: Right. It was one one clip I was watching her.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: She was just talking about how she treats her platform
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: like she treats Snapchat. And you know on Snapchat, you
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: know how you used to keep secrets and stuff like that,
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: and you used to be all types of way. She said,
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna be free and free indeed, come on on
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: these platforms.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: But also she doesn't know this yet, but I look
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: up to her because she's also a dog mom, and
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: I'm a dog mom.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: Y'all know this a.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Little more and a lot of things I learned from her,
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: like things that she used tools our products. If she
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: don't promote it, I'm probably not getting me. That's just
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: that's just my my, my mad mythis to my madness.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: So I'm not gonna prolong the time because I know
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: y'all eager to get my girl.
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: Britney Monck to.
• 4:20
  Speaker 4: Brittany money, Britney money, Brittany, girl, you look good?
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: She be cutting up since.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: I watch the Real Bad, Real Bad like extra on
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: a on on the planet on planet Venus.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, Like we asked them choose
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: a planet. I'm all the way there, Brittany, how are you?
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: I'm good? I'm so handlight? You do do you do?
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: Do you not feel like a lot of places? What?
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: Well?
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: We bless the Lord. Okay, we bless the Lord.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: So Brittany and already gave me permi all right, and
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: we're gonna lean the Holy Spirit. But I want y'all
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: to know, I gotta gotta let y'all know why I
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: brought Brittany on here. I'll asked y'all know that I
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: pray for each and every person that comes on here,
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: reguarding them and the timing of it. And I was
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: just telling Brittany that I wasn't following her before the
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: opportunity with Miss Tabb and I think I had found
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: out about you with your your dread your infamous dreadlock post, and.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: I still didn't even follow you then. But I don't know.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: The Lord has just opened my heart to you, and
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: so I'm really excited about this conversation. So if they
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: don't know if they be under the rock, Brittany, how
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: would Brittany explain Brittany Brittany.
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: Brittany plus Brittany equals Britta. Brittany pod me. I don't
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: sugar coat anything, you know. I'm a fan of the
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: code switching. I guess because I'm a teacher at the
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: end of the day, so I, you know, try to
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: preserve some things. But it is what it is, what
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: it is, and you're gonna get what you're gonna get yeah,
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: and I'm not gonna change. You know, I will speak
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: a certain way in certain environments, but I'm not gonna change. Yeah.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: That's one of other things I really enjoy about you,
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: Like you really live your life to the fullest and unapologetically,
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: but you also open two new ideas and pivoting.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: I'm a sponge. You are well. If you're a teacher
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: and you not a student, I don't understand how well
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: you teaching. I'm a forever learner. My students know that,
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: my principal knows. Anybody I work for or under knows
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: I like I'm a sponge. I love information, I love knowledge,
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: but I love wisdom more than anything. So if I
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: can be in a place where I feel I'm under
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: a wise person, specially a wise woman, come on now,
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: come on, I'm good, Yes, ma'am, Yes, ma'am. You are
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: a girl's girl.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: You have you always been like that? Let's just call it. No,
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: I haven't either. I used to tell folks I don't
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: do women.
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: Why than anything? Like always? I don't know. I guess
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: just literally learning myself and coming out of that pete
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: bull face. Is when my sister called it like she
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: always calling me a pet bull once. I came from
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: being a pet bull in high school because like I
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: was an alternative school a lot, or not fighting because
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: I'm not a fighter. Don't claim that, but I was.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: I guess got a mouth, and I just I was
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: so hard, hard, hard hard. But when I got to
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: college and I you know, I got to settle a
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: little bit and learn more about what it means to
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: be a black woman because I went to HBCU, the
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: illustrious Alabama and Mechanical University, the only HBC you found
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: about slave.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: But y'all, y'all, we are in Birmingham, and the there
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: is a such thing as a rival, and it usually
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: comes out real good majesty of class.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: Around this time, perfect, perfect time. We were here first,
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: A and M andre A and M were here first, Okay,
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: But once I got to A and M and they
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: really like put value in you that you are a one,
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: you are black first and a woman second, it changed
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: my whole perspective of everything, Like it changed how I
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: wanted to be perceived by young women, especially young women
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: and your men too, but more so young women.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so, speaking of education, how did you even did
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: you always want to be a teacher.
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: When I was my first day of kindergarten, I came
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: home from school. I told him, want to be a teacher.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: I'm that type of person like once I say it
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: does it. I told him, I came home from Miss
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: Baker class. I don't know if she's still alive or not.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: Shout out to Miss Bank, Shout out to Miss Baker,
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: but she I wanted to be a teacher. At first,
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: I was an elementary ED major, then not to elementary math,
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: which is not elementary math in all, and I quickly
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: switched to English because I love to talk, I love
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: to write, I love being creative in the assig of that.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: So that's what made me get my bachelor's in English,
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: and then I went on to get my teaching certification
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: from the University of Monavallo. I am a falcon. I
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: am a very verse girl. You know, very verse, ye,
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: cause you're in school right now and I'm getting my
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: second master's in special education from South Alabama. So I'm
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: just everywhere. Y No. But the thing, the network is
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: the network.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: You hear me, and so I think that's the most
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: impressive part of you for me, that you seem to
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: be able to balance right, So being this infamous social
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: media influencer personality or r you really got your own
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: show on your.
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: Own platform, like real bad, Real bad?
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: How do you balance your forward moving education while managing
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: content creation? Because content creation takes a lot. So baby, baby,
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: real bad.
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: How do you? How do you balance that? I don't
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: I just whatever I wake up feeling needs whatever. If
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: I wake up feeling like education is the most important
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: thing today, that's my focus of the day. If I
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: wake up and be like, ooh, I've been neglecting the village,
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, let me get on here and make
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: sure that they see be daddy face or feel a
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: face or whoever face for today, I don't know. I
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: just feel like I just wake up and whatever is
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: the first thing on my brain. That's gonna be the
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: first thing I pay attention to.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: Now.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: I check in here and there with everything else. But
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: I feel like, if you wake up with a feeling,
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: you follow that feeling, yeah, and don't neglect it. So
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: if if I wake up like, oh, my students, we're
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: heavy on my heart today, I ain't gonna even pull
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: these phones out like I'm a solely focused on them
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: today and give them all my attention and whatever it
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: is that they need or if I feel like if
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: I'm if I wake up to like a sad email
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: from somebody or something like that, Yeah, okay, I need
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: to make sure I post a video for these persons
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: because they need me today. I think that's so good.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: It's a scripture in the Bible, and I think it
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: was we always get him confused, Peter and Paul.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: I think it was Paul.
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: He talks about being whatever he needs to be in
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: the moment that he needs to be. And so what
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: you're doing is really a biblical principle. And I wanted
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: to let you know that I'm here for you, like
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: all the way. So my thought process is, because you
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: share so much, Brittany, and you're very open, what what
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: are your boundaries when it comes to what you share
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: on social media?
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: I try I'm doing better. I try to only tell
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: my story. I try not to tell my mama's story
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: or tell my brother and sister story. Like even when
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: it comes to like talking about roaches, everybody know I
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: have this thing with roaches, So they talk about like
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: growing up with roaches. Before I even brought that to
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: the end of that, I made sure that was okay
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: with my brother and sister. Bir Are y'all okay with these?
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: Are y'all okay with people knowing how we grew up?
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: Are you okay? People knowing the struggle? Y'all know how
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: I am. Y'all know it ain't no filter. So once
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: y'all say yes and y'all give me that, okay, it's
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: out there. So I try not to tell. I was
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: real bad at it first because me and my mom
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: didn't have a good relationship. But my mama is my rock.
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: I had to really understand like these her first time too.
• 12:01
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: I had to really like think about understand what my
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: sister and my mama and my man, but they understand
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: because they watched me and my mama relationship go through
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: so much. So once I really put in my head
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: like she was a little girl too, she was a
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: little toward too. Yeah, like she's she's big tory now,
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: like I'm big bringing it. She's big toy. So this
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: is her first life too. It's not fair for me to,
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: you know, continue to beat her over the head and
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: tell her stories and make it seem like she was
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: just an awful mother because my mama did what she
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: could do that. Yeah, she didn't, she didn't know. It
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: was just like once I once I got that encapsulated
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: and understood that, I just kept it to myself. I
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: always check in with people before I tell the story.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: I think that's a good point to bring up I've learned.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: I learned that the hard way this year with a
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: post that I made and the way it was taken,
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: I was just like.
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: Bruh, Like I was. I was, I ain't gonna sisters
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: and sister right.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: It kind of frustrated me because I was just I'm
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: not where you are, and I'm not I don't even
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: I don't say I don't care to be where you are.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: I know that there's a message for me to get out.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: And when you're fighting the people that you love because
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: it's your story and they might be a part of it,
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: it's like I'm just I used my story to like
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: encourage someone in that moment. Because my mom and I
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: have been, you know, developing our relationship for years.
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, developing. You know. I got a little education too.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: But no, I think that people can misconstrued, like because
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: you're doing so well on social media that everything behind
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: the scenes is aokay or whatever, And I think it's
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: important for people to know, like, no, me and my
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: mama haven't always been good, but we're developing. I'm working
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: towards a space and you can help so many people
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: with that, Like you did.
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: You if with your mom when you were young? All
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: my life, okay, all my life, all I knew was Tori,
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: if you if my MoMA walked here, her my neighbor
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: like dad, that's her sustaining Like we're really that similar,
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: but we're also so different. My mama is so to herself. Girl,
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: Why are you talking about my mama right now? My
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: mama is just like this, and I'm just like heyby,
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: So it's just like we completely opposite, but we're the
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: same in so many ways. So I just had to understand,
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: like even though I went through it as a child,
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: it's still not my place to tell her story like
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: her and my dad really because I used to get
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: on there and tell oh, I ain't care out there,
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: But once I realized, like that can be hurtful, Like
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: how would you feel somebody put every single thing out
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: about you? You know? You you just have to be mindful,
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: especially of your parents regardless, like I'm not one of
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: them people where I just feel like you owe anybody respect.
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: Respect is a mutual thing. But when it now comes
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: even my dad, they're like, who is? But even when
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: it comes to I try to, you know, give them
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: their props, give them their respect and just be respectful
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: and that.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: And that's because that's what I'm gonna go back to
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: the word of God again. And I think that's a
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: it's a healthy distinction of honor thy mother and thy father,
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: and our day shall be loan. What does honor me?
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: It's just regard, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, so
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: what does well you can answer that, what does honor me?
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: Honor? Just like I said, just keep it respectful. I
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: don't bash my I used to be a basher baby
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: before I even got you.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: That slick at the mouth, Brittany, like you was, you
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: was disrespectful. I would beyond straight out of Birmingham, disrespectful.
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: Straight ouf the East Side, Like I'm not gonna child
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: like no, like sorry, but I I just I just
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: had to grow up and I had to realize that
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: my trauma is there, but it's not to keep me there.
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: It's to help me grow and to realize things and
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: see things through a different like that and bring different
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: perspectives to different situations that other people don't have because
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: I know how to we if these lights went off
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: right now, I can hook up the generator for y'all.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: If you ain't got no water, I know how to
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: get you some wo like you know what I'm saying.
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: I know how to survive. So a lot of people
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: don't have that. So it makes me more grateful for
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: my parents because y'all taught me. Y'all, just give the
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: get a girl a bag. Yeah, this bag means this,
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: like we had to go without this for you to
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: have these birthday you know, you know what I'm saying.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: So my appreciation for stuff is just a little different.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: And and I give all credit to Andre and Torri,
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: my creators. Let's clap it up for parents, Let's clap
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: it up for mom and dad. Y'all did a good thing.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: Y'all did a good thing. So so let.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: Me ask you this, are your siblings content creators?
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: Do they desire to be content creators? My brother is
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: a gamer? Okay, Shell follow my brother on Twitch Mazowski
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: shout out to my brother. But my brother is a gamer.
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: But he has a family as a wife and kid,
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: so his whole life has shifted. My sister, no, she's
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: she just likes to be the famous girl sister. Okay.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: So so my question is because I have multiple siblings, right,
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: I have seven eighteen?
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: Said again, I have eighteen eighteen sling.
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: Is it eighteen of y'all or eighteen FoST I'm gonna
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: have three me under an age and then my daddy
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: got the whole.
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: East side of fifteen years. And I'm not joking, desil Ray,
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: why did I'm not joking? Layla Tayler, Eric, Spider, Jayla, Jade,
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: and Quinn. Y'all know his but you know all of them,
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: and you have a relationship with all of them. But
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: I know them.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: Okay, okay, okay, that's that's I did not know that.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: A lot of people don't know that.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: I did not know that, and I'll be watching.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: You, so I'm surprised, Like, but you don't.
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: You don't give I guess that energy from like big
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: family type type thing.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: You. I knew you had siblings, but I didn't know
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: you had that much. Wow.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: So the reason why I asked you that was because
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: my sister and I who's my best friend.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: I love her down right.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: We had to work towards that relationship too, but we're
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: both in content creation or whatever, and we find ourselves. Well,
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: I found myself comparing myself to her. And so the
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: fact that you just said, oh, my sister loves being
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: up favorite.
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: He was in Chicago and this lady didn't stop me.
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: She stopped my She was like you big dad untie
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: in Chicago. What the lady didn't know that I'm taking
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: pictures of my I'm behind the cameras so nobody sees
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: me because when I'm with my sister, my sister's stup star,
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: I'm just me. My sister is my my Beyonce, So
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: I'm taking her pictures, you know what I'm saying. So
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: the lady she was at the thing, she was like
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: you big daddy untie, And my sister was like yeah.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: I love that though, because sometimes the fame type of thing,
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: you hear stories where like people be acting funny, people
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: won't stuff X, Y and Z. But I love love
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: how your family also embraces your babies.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: Them.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: Please, so can we talk about it because I know everybody,
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: you know, when people come listening to they always we
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: gotta make sure we reverence the babies. Okay, uh and
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: we got I mean it all started with big Daddy.
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: I started with beat there. So how old is bedad
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: bit Daddy is four? All my big ones are for
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: they all turned five in November. COVID babies. COVID babies.
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: Oh my goodness.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: So how did it come about with you being this
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: infamous dog one? Because I know you started out as
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: like doing like education contents.
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: Teacher Friday, which led me to leave lose my job. See,
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: people didn't know that. People do know that because I
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: told the story so many times, but that that caused
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: me to lose my job because everybody, I have a
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: very profound mouth and I use some language sometimes I'm
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: not even proud of. Sometimes I go, baby, you ain't
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: even have to say all that. You didn't even have
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: to do that. But yeah, he had got me in trouble.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: So teachers be mindful, be mindful of that. But I had,
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: you know, said some bad words, and the school systems
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: that I was working for at the time, they're still
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: mad at me to this day.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: Oh wow, did you say bad words regarding the school system?
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: No, First of all, the school when' even open. I
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: was always one of the first people been to school.
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: I was there at like six in the morning and
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: one of my coworkers was calling my name and I
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: was like, what does she want? Like what do you want? Like,
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to do fine, teacher Friday and you talking
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: to me. But I recorded it, and you know, once
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: I recorded, I don't go back. You don't go back
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: and edit. That's it. I ain't doing all it. And
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: I posted it and it went viral overnight. It went
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: viral over night, and by that Tuesday, the principal college
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: he was like, hey, what was this? He was like,
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: you know, the boards and this, and I was like, okay,
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: I'm glad they got iballs. I mean, what do you
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: want me to do about it? And so they waited
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: until three o'clock and it was like, you you can
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: just go home. We're gonna still pay you to October
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: god is But okay, that's fine. But I needed that break.
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: I needed it. What did you do during that break?
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: During that time, that's when I really, like, I ain't
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: gonna say I really locked in. But I was supposting
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: like fifteen cten videos a day, and I was in
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: squags getting my masters at the time too, so I
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: was in school to focused on.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: Schools on that and that was also during the time
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: when you were in that last relationship, the last relationship too.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we just broke up.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, we're not gonna two pits spend too much Innergyn. Look,
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: I just want to kind of give people a timeline
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: where you were, what happened, because you you about to
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: be thirty thirty, not the little thirty that's gonna be good.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: Thirty is good. Yeah, they say when they said thirties
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: was the new twenties, thirties is a good.
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: Believe it. It's real. It's real good, and it's.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: Gonna look really good on you, like real bad. I'm
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: thirty three. We just talked about what she was turning.
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: But it's gonna be it's gonna be real good on you.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: So I'm curious to know, cause you're a teacher now
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: and not just only your teacher in special.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: Education end up, but having facility.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: So how in the world do they hire you knowing
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: that you know that I did what I did.
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was well originally, So when I left the
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: first school system, I had got hired on at Fairfield.
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: Fairfield is their own system, right, Okay. I got hired
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: on at Fairfield off the Riet. So one day this
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: girl she called me and she was like, Hey, my
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: principal is looking for a teacher. Come down and talk
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: to her. I had on legs, a T shirt and
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: a bunnant. I'm trying to get my classroom together. I'm like,
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: in the process of a building my classroom, Ryan, you know.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: So I drove down to the facility, met the principal
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: who's still a principal to this day. We instantly hit
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: it off and she had an offer for me. Right,
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: went home, prayed about it hard. I'm talking about hard.
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: I ain't don't take an other prince so hard in
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: my life. And I said, God, if this is the
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: job for me, make it make it easy. Then now
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: that's the prayer. Make it easy. That's the prayers. Haven't
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: been perfect, no, have I My mouth got me in
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: some teens. Yeah, But I'm grateful for my principal, Miss
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: Sharon Pearson. I'm gonna say your name. I'm grateful for
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: miss miss Pearson and Miss Sharon because she pours into me,
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: not only as a principal, as a woman, as a grandmother.
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: She criticizes me, she gets me together and she stands
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: beside me. We're not gonna change who she is because
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: this is who she is, right, she shows these young
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: girls you can be whoever you want to be, but
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: it's a time and place everything. M I love how
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: you regard people. I could just yeah, like.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: You you really you really regard people. And before I
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: go transition to the next thing, because I'm gonna ask
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: you about something because it irritated me and I'm gonna
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: make it be or know how irritated I was when
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: I saw this. But with special education, it really takes
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: special people to nurture. And let me tell it, blessed
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: my heart when I saw you fight for them kids
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: to get Poppy Oh Machine plan like.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: You.
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: I said, this is how you use your influence. Like
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: that was I was like brou like she real you
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: are like the epitome of how you use your influence.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: So what are some things that we don't get to
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: see that you get to push out for your kids?
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: Like what are some things that you were very excited
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: that you got, that your kids got the experience that
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: they normally wouldn't if you weren't an influencer.
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: First off the poppy machine. Oh my god, that poppy
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: machine changed the trajectory of everything. Like my principal, everybody
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: like the poppy machine was just like dang, because nobody
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: never seen include my I said, I've never seen nobody's either.
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: The Sauda's free. They healthy. My kids live in a facility.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: They only go to school. They live there. Okay, so
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: they don't get to mama. Can you mt Donald's for dinner?
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: They need three meals a day at this facility all day.
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: That's why I go so or for them, like when
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: Church is Chicken, when I did the when I was
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: doing my parties, and Church's Cheecken reached out and they
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: sponsored my kids. And then somebody. I can't so many
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: people that sponsor my kids. I don't even post all
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: of it because I'm not that type of person. Like
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: everything not for this is for my babies, right you
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: know what I'm saying, Like this is for them. So
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: that and then just my village in general, like all
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: my books in my classroom come from beat Dad in them.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: Uh village, every supply everything. If I get on there
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: and say hey, y'all, like right now, I got a
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: student in the who needs some clothes. We been getting
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: packages full of clothes for this girl. So I don't
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: just you know, use my platform for bet Dad in them.
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: I use it for my students. Yeah, I get on
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: that in bed for them and they know that. Well,
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: they don't know that per se, but they know. Like
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: if I ask Miss Brittany, I don't know how she
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: does it, but it's gonna happen m for sure, for certain,
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: even if it if it comes out of my own pocket,
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: Like I don't care. It seems like that's your burden. Yeah,
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: like you know how.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: I don't know if you've ever heard of this before,
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: but people like walking around they have a burden and
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: that's what they fight for that. It sounds like children, period.
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: Are you are you? Do you want? I'bout saying do you?
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: I know you don't have any, but do you want kids?
• 26:09
  Speaker 4: Now?
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: I do because of my new Man. Let's just shout
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: out to new Man. Let's shout out to new Man
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: because Brendan been glowing since you've been in the room. Okay,
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: Brendan Brennan, so in.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: Your business right, Okay, that's that new thing I just
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: did off the humbug when y'all business.
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, real bad.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: So before we get into the blessing, the because you
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: are so involved in your village, as you would say,
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: some people that think that are part of your village
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: do too much a day?
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: Did you did y'all see me look up and down? Y'all?
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: They really And Okay, I'm just gonna tell you. I
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: was very upset when I saw somebody screenshot man the
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: phone situation. I was too where was your mind when
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: you first, like before you even posted, Like where did
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: your mind go?
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: Seeing that level of boldness? First I was mad cause
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: I'm like, dang, y'all, Like I tell y'all everything, y'all
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: wanna see every like y'all wanna see every single thing
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: you wanna know is shoe size everything, y'a wanna know everything.
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: But then after I made the video and I addressed it,
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: and I had people hate this about me, but it's
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: it's a method to the madness. What would Beyonce do
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: about this? Yon say, wouldn't even address this? Y I
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: ain't wanna said nothing. So like I used Beyonce as
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: a verb adjective adjative described thing verbus action, so I
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: use her into interchangeably. So Beyonce. When stuff happened to Beyonce,
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: she never addressed it. That's a part of the territory.
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: Every time I get to a new level, I learned like, Okay,
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: this is a part of the territory. MM, like this,
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: this is out your control. You just gotta be more careful.
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: So when y'all see Bobert and y'all put my boober
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: in the comments, I didn't appreciate it, But I now
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: understand that's part of the territory. Yeah, So now I
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: just see it. It's a part of the game. Just
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: go with it.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: It's part of the social media limelight. That's a that's
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: a very mature way to digest it. Because I got
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: a friend. I was just talking to my friend too,
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: and she was saying that, I think because I'm a
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: protector by heart.
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: Like I just want to put you to I am too.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: I am, I am, I am, I'm protector at heart, right,
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: And so when I saw that, in my mind, you
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: my sister. Yeah, So I was like bruh, like who
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: is this and why are they so bold? But if
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: I started speaking in tones like because in my mind,
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: people are not together for them, No they're not. They're
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: not together mental health. So I see it every day
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: they're not together, and so I'm thinking about your safety.
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: That was my biggest thing, Like y'all come on, Like,
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: That's why I was so scared in the beginning when
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: I first moved. That's why I didn't wanna do no
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: content at the house. I was thinking about renting now
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: a content studio. People don't know that, but just because
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: of when I was living at my old house, when
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: I was in my past relationship, this lady DM me
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: my address. She gave me a play by play of
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: how to get to my house. She told me exactly
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: where I lived that she told me what gas station,
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: she told me what was outside of my house. That
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: scared me. That took me that really, Like I wouldn't
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: delete everything and just disappeared. Well what made you? S
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: keep going?
• 29:33
  Speaker 4: Young?
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: Young people, young people look up to me. Them people
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: in the community like, okay, p cool, you know where
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: I live. It that's fine, she ain't put it out there. Nothing.
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: I have to think about the young people that live
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: in the community, that go to school and be like,
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: that's my next door neighbor. And if they see that
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: I can do it, they know they can do it
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: regardless of what's going on inside the house. Did you
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: take any legal action? No, Brittany, and you know you
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: time like my god mama uh ms Clark. She was
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: so mad at me. But no, you know, mental health
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: is so real to me. And I do understand that
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: I have to protect myself at the end of the day,
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: but I feel like I'm so divinely protected that prayer.
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: I'm good. Yeah, I ain't heard from.
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: Sense, and I thank God for that also, and cause
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: you know, also however, and okay put the end in there,
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: both of us prayer and pumpums. Yeah, okay, yeah, for real,
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: I don't holy goes still, okay, but don't mind protecting. Yeah, okay,
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: So I think that this is big sister mind right now.
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: No, yeah, real bad. No, it was crazy. It was crazy,
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: she said, they like it was like a five minut
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: voice message. But because I study special education and I
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: study autism, and I study these disabilities, I already knew
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: what was going on. Okay, And you're on the spectrum
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: whether you're diagnosed or not. You don't know that because
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: you just gave me a whole play by play of
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: where I live and how to get there. That's a
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: early diagnos of autism. You're on a spectrum.
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: That's good information for that. I okay, So now you
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: just settle my spirit.
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: Now I can't. That's how y Sometime. I guess it's
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: because I am so like specially education to my core.
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: You have to take your personal out of it and
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: look at it through the lens of something different.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: Mm.
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: Like you would l look at it through like the
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: lens of the church. I would look at it through
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: the liss of a teacher, Like I would go down
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: this fake check list in my head, like, mm, did
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: they mean harm by this? Yeah? Or are they really?
• 31:29
  Speaker 4: Like?
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: Cause she was like just concerned. She wasn't just like
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: doing it to be spiteful of me. She was just
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: like I was like, the w the pace that you talking,
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: the words that you use, and how you keep repeating
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: certain things. You're on the spectrum.
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: MM. Fore so that settled you, Yeah mkay.
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: But she wasn't on a spectrum. Nah, I probably would
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: have taken that.
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, just let y'all know, don't be trying to
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: look in Google say hey, Chadgy, be to you help
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: me right, sound like I'm on a spectrum?
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: We not doing that cause I I'm I'm pretty well versed.
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: I've been doing this too long.
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: You have, you are very well versed. So let's get
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: to it because y'all y'all nosy.
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: Now I love it.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: So you pivot. You had a hard pivot this year,
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: and I ain't gonna lie. I'm wanted that. Don't believe
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: in put my business out like as far as like
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: dating who I'm talking to or even the fact that
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: I am dating because stuff hadn't worked out obviously I'm
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: still single. Okay, thank you Lord, We're gonna, were gonna
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: bless you.
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: Just keep praying, just keep praying.
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: But you have had no problem with being open, transparent
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: per se about the pivot. I'm curious to know how
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: do you heal.
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: So openly?
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: Like what's your healing process? Because you you just so open,
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: like you went from you I'm a verbati you.
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: Okay, you had to see a girl this I be
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: looking at your I was like.
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: Oh, you said that you knew at least a year
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: before you walked away from the situation and you start
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: preparing then, so were you also healing?
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: Then? Yeah? What did that look like? It's church? But
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: you can heal in here. First of all, why is
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: he calling this church? Everybody? If you want to, if
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: you ain't been a church in a while, just coming
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: to just a come on, okay. But no, I started
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: the series of events that took place that led me
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: to really get up and leave a woman a woman
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: intuition is a real thing. And once I, once I
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: really start to understand what a woman is outside of
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: the hair, outside of the makeup, we are the most
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: powerful being on the planet. Nothing moves without us. So
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: once I started to put in respective the disrespect the
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: things that was happening, I'm gonna put you on the
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: tea coming home at five in the morning. Oh you
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: done lost your mind? Yeah you don't care. So when
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: you put when you constantly put it in my face
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: that you don't care. If I would have stuck around
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: with that, who how can I tell young girls to
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: get up and leave and do better and won't better
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: for themselves? And I'm sitting here settling and pretending can't
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: do it? Not in me? So I started that when
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: I when that incident happened, and it happened three times,
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: three strikes, jot. I don't play like that three strike job.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: Even though we had been me and z Able together
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: for ten years. We met in twenty fourteen, broke up.
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: Twenty twenty four was twenty five. Yeah, so twenty twenty
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: four in my head, we broke up anyway. Yeah, So
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: I started preparing. I was writing more. I do video
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: journal entries. Those are really helpful if you don't like writing,
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: Like if you don't know how to write, Cause a
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: lot of people say they don't know how to write,
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: talk to them. You got these phones, talk to them
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: video journaling, like just putting all my emotions. I now
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: start saving money. I start saving money, like as women.
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: I know, I was very co dependent, very cold dependent,
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: Like I would cause a hey it's a it's a
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: bug in here. Hey what couple of socks you said?
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying that type of thing, and
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: people didn't know that, Like I didn't really have a brain.
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: But once you started suspecting me, and my brain kicking,
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: and I woke up, like I tell my man, my
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: new man, like I tell my man once I'm up, Baby,
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: I'm up. It ain't no going back to sleep. It
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: ain't no going back, Like I'm not. I've never been
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: the type of person to go backwards, and once I
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: left that first school system, I never wanted to go back.
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: Once I leave something, I'm over it is over it.
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: So I started, you know, praying and healing and healing
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: and praying and saving and saving and saving. I've been
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: I was supposed to move to hunts View. I'm not
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: supposed to be here. Well, I don't know it's supposed
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: to be he or not, but I was. I was
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: originally looking at Huntsvie. I wasn't even looking for places
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: here in Birmingham, and Birmingham yours the place that I mean. Now,
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: my sister beet that I didn't want to live him
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: your hair in this country. And but when my sister
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: came in and after I prayed for it the next day,
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: I was wow.
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: When I paid the money, it was basically that the
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: ease that you that you pray for.
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: No, I love that, And so would you say that
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: you valued yourself with a I did in the beginning.
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: But I think I lost it. I think I lost it.
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: I think I started to dim my own light. Not
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: because they was like a light demo or something, but
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: just when I met Jay's what celebrity hold up?
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: We get somewhere hold no, because tell the truth and
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: shame and shame the devil.
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: If we could go anywhere in the state of Alabama,
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: somebody's gonna know this.
• 36:43
  Speaker 4: Man.
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: So do you think that once Brittany became the celebrity,
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: is that.
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: I think things start to change? I don't. I don't
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: think it was. I don't think he was jealous per
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: se or anything negative. But it's just something new like dang,
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: like be that. And I'm like, hey, y'all don't remember.
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: Me, so let me ask you a question, because all right,
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: so I'm gonna give you some of my tea since
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: you give a tea.
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: Okay. So when I've been.
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: In a relationship, before the relationship, I actually thought I
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: was gonna end in marriage like real bad.
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: Same, real bad.
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: So one of the things the opportunities that he said
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: I had was including him in my world or me
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: being inclusive in his world, like basically like making him
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: feel as valued as I am. And I felt like
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: I was, like, but I always you know what I'm saying.
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: I'm saying that you're my man. I'm saying da da da,
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: and I'm bringing you around my family like the things
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: that were important to me.
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: But I guess and in my mind, I'm not a celebrity.
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: But when people don't have certain things, or they haven't
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: experienced certain things, or the cloud is just not there,
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: just to keep it one hundred, they look at you
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: like where do I fit in?
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: And so.
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: As you were developing in your lime, like right, did
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: you ever catch yourself like smelling yourself to the point
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: where he was like who you think you are?
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: Like I know, Britney?
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: Or was it just sometimes the ego could get in
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: the way of where it was.
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: I think the man ego is the strongest adam in
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: the world. I don't say that could be created or destroyed. However,
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: it can be tampered. I feel like it can be
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: tampered with. And once they feel like you're getting too
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: big or you you know, becoming too much, that's when
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: they start to pull away. I'm not gonna say they
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: like change, but he did start to like pull away.
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: And now I also think it's because I don't ask
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: you for nothing no more. When a man don't feel needed,
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: they feel defeated. Yeah, which is a problem to me.
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: I think it's a problem. I'm not a man, so
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: I don't know, but I feel like that's problematic because
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: if we're supposed to be team and lean on each
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: other in all these sped to isshue mm hmm.
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: I've been told that too, and I'm gonna tell you
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: what it was told to me. So that's what the
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: folks that's doing well with their man and stuff said.
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: Seek no, because I'm we're finna go there. We're just
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: this is just for y'all because we know that's what
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: y'all want to do. But because we're gonna land a
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: plane in a different manner. But what was I talking about?
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: I just lost my thoughts that quick. We was talking
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: about day Oh, the man, the ego. So when a
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: woman like like us, like I can do it all myself,
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: I take the traade myself out.
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: You know what I will do.
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: I was raised by my diaddy, okay daddy on the
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: west side of Bromham. Okay, I will ray by a
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: man and he told me you had to get up,
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: you had to do for yourself. Even now renting his house,
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: his old house from him. He said, yeah, if I
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: gave this for free, you will think X, Y and Z.
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: So here that type of man. So what you think
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna be so I actually have to put effort into.
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: Oh can you twist you know, keep it out month door?
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: That was me once you once I feel like I'm
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: irritating you or you be like, dang, you can't do it.
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: You can't do it this time. I'll never ask you again.
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: I can't even I'm with you.
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: I'm with you, but maybe maybe we need to have
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: somebody in this chill so we can get helped out.
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: But you know, I'm the one without a man.
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: You with the man.
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: So the shift right? How did you know you was
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: ready for one to be in a relationship period?
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: I wasn't. I was very unexpected. This is not a
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: new man. I will put that out there. I have
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: known this man for a time. We were friends in college,
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: so I'm gonna give you. But we were friends in college,
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: and you know, I went back home and was whit
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: zay and he respected it, and you know we just
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: we stayed cool or whatever. But this man has always
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: just you ever just met somebody that's always in your
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: head like dang? Like why am I laying down and
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: you just popped up my head out of no where?
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: Like you alone because you're thinking about your someone like dang,
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: you're like, wait, but it was that type of thing.
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: And one day, you know, after I had moved to whatever,
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: he reached out and I played it off like like
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: I know who he was, but I knew it was
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: him because of what he said. He was like Brittany
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: Pickles question mark. And when he said, I said, looking
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: at that, I said, this is my man is back.
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: And it's just been different. We're both grown now, we're
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: both uh in different spaces of our life. And he
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: had one thing about him that has set him apart
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: from every other man I've ever talked to in my life.
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: His love for God. He's a god fear man. He
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: don't play at all. And I've always want what does
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: god fearing look like?
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: Because a lot of people say, oh, that god fearing,
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: but what is How do you know, Brittany that he's
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: a god fearing man.
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: We wake up in the morning, the first thing we're
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: gonna do is prayer. He's not playing with you. He's
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: gonna say he's greeting his morning, greeting, how you doing,
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: how you feeling, how you're living.
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: You see how she just went, She went, She went
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: there like she was on the phone with him. He
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: is not here, y'all, Like, is he's not here?
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: He's not. And he'll be like, all right, go ahead, huh,
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: let's pray. I'm gonna go, then you're gonna go. But
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: it was hard. This is not this is new because
• 42:37
  Speaker 2: I never pray with a man ever. Now he'm my
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: own daddy, Like, never never prayed with a man as
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: your dad. A believer. I don't know what he is.
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: But okay, okay, okay, okay, he's going to jail. He
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: was believing, right, is he in jail now? Thank God? Well,
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: bless the Lord. We thank God for that.
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: But God, as long as he's living, he still got
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: a chance.
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but in the morning, just prayer. And but I
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: almost say his name. I almost got me there. Oh,
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: we would have bleaped it out for you. We would
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: have bleaped it out for you. Okay. He just ever
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: since I met him, when he was younger, he always
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: been like this, Always send me Bible scriptures, always praying
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: for me. We used to be sitting outside night, come
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: place at a and m praying in the car, praying
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: at his house, praying. Just he just always made sure
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: that I knew and seen God. And it's not even
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: the prayer part he walked like God, you see God
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: shine through that man. Like you can look at him
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: and be like, dang, like you you have so much power.
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: Without even saying a word. My man can walk in
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: the room and the whole room goes silent, and it's
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: just like the respect, the the love. But as soon
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: as he opened his mouth and starts smiling, he's just
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: like you can feel it. It's like a feeling when
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: I can't explain. Yeah, he just give me cheese going
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: to my body. I just don't stand it's crazy. But
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: it's just like the power of the power of him
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: trying to help me be a better woman through God,
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: not just off the humble, not like manipulative and you
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: know how me and all that they'll try. Yeah, you've
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: tested it.
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's like when you when you look because let's
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: just call it, because people be trying to use God
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: to pump people. And I'm one that I there's three
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: things I don't play about. That's God, my family and friends,
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: and my money don't play with me. Okay, So when
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: you when you say that he's helped you, helping like, yeah,
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: that he's helping you, What does that look like?
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: What does helping Brittany look like listening to me, seeing me,
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: valuing me, desiring like I've never felt this level of
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: admiration from a male like I I know what it
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: feels like to be lusted after, hate it. I know
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: what that feels like. I know what that looks like.
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: I know what comes with that. This is a whole
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: new ball game. Yeah, this man pays attention to stuff
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: like that. I don't even be thinking. Nobody pay attention
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: to like, what, how do you know that you know
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: that isn't it's like my diet, that's not my spiritual
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: Like every aspect of me. He cares about the total woman,
• 45:23
  Speaker 2: because everybody I love to eat. I'm any what's your
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: favorite food? Everything? As long as it's good. Yes, hey,
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: as long as you got some season, I'm good. But
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: he he for real, like he don't play like you.
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: Yesterday he said, okay, well after your birthday, be loking in.
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: We're faster and so gone girl. He putting you on
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: a fast. We're feel fast and have you ever fasted before? Yeah?
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: I in college, so yeah, I mean And then like
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: this was another thing people don't know about me. Before
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: Big Dad and them, I used to do Bible studies
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: with my friends in college online. Do that every Sunday.
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: Do you see yourself doing that ever again? Yeah, one day,
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: one day, once I figure out my place in the
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: word for real life, you know what I'm saying, my
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: place in ministry. I've always loved church always. I was
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: a praise dancer, I was an a choir. I used
• 46:18
  Speaker 2: to do everything in church. And I say people when
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: I do Sunday service, I think people take it as
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: a joke, unless like you, my anti anti Cindy, Cindy,
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: I love you, she she youre going to church, You're
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: praise dancing, You're showing it. But I didn't never fight it.
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: I love you. I love being in church. I love
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: reading the byby loud, you know, because nobody just can
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: read but me. But I grew up in the church.
• 46:42
  Speaker 4: I love.
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: I wish church would go back to what it used
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: to be, Like what is that church? The is with
• 46:47
  Speaker 2: the white with your finger up, don't come in here, wait,
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: get that gum out your mouth, give you like real churches.
• 46:56
  Speaker 2: I just feel like church has become so mainstream, Like, man,
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: why are we doing dances in church? Why? For real?
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: Why it's a time and place for everything, and I
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: like old school quiet with the like the seats like
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: that color. Yeah, to behind the little glass like you know,
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: let's say take you to the core.
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: So let's let's let's go there for a second, because
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: that neat for people that's in the church, like I'm
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: I'm actively leading in church and stuff like that. So
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: we're always curious to hear what could how could we
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: show up for the community or like gain people to
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: come to the church because a lot of people have
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: gotten we've seen a shift since COVID and they do
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: just like the online thing.
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: It's not like do you do you have a church?
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: I've been looking I want you to.
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: Come to church with me one day. It's called it's
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: called Rehobe's Church prom him. It's on the east side.
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: And man, I was just talking about that we need
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: us a church in his place of living that I
• 47:59
  Speaker 2: almost exposed, and we need a church here. So yeah,
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: we'll come sure, Yeah, I would love that. We just
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: said that last night.
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, anytime, And y'all not gonna know when she comes.
• 48:09
  Speaker 2: Like bad. So yeah, we're looking for a church here
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: and where he lives at.
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: So yeah, okay, So now that we got there established
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: you can come church with me one day. What is
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: it that you feel like the church needs to like
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: implement for people to be more interested and feel welcome,
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: be welcoming for real?
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: What does that look like a lot of churches like
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: you walk in people just staring at you like it's
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: just not welcoming, like like while you got that on,
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: like you know what I'm saying, Like it's a time
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: pleas and everything, like you know, come like you got
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: some sense or whatever. But you know, don't don't downplay people,
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: especially like I have a lot of gay friends. But
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: I got a lot of my gay friends. They love
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: God more than anybody else. I know, they run to
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: God faster than you know what I'm saying. So it's
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: just like stop turning our nose up at everybody and
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: stop trying to be viral with the with the word,
• 49:03
  Speaker 2: and we just get the word, like I really want
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: to get the word. Like I'm visiting one church in
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: Birmingham and they was in there playing Golorrilla for the
• 49:10
  Speaker 2: announcements just to beat though. But I'm like, this is
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: not real, y'all. This is come on now, come on now, So.
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: You what I'm hearing you say, is that you want
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: a distinct difference like what I can get in the world.
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: I don't want to. I want to come here and
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: cry and be and run like I when I imagine
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: going church as a grown person, I used to go
• 49:31
  Speaker 2: to church with my cousin Mimi. Mimi is like my
• 49:33
  Speaker 2: biggest role model. I ever had, my first round model
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: in life. She used to like go to church, she
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: had church clothes. She go to church like her shoes off,
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: be shouting and praying and you can just feel that energy.
• 49:44
  Speaker 2: Do people still shout in church? My church?
• 49:46
  Speaker 4: See that's.
• 49:48
  Speaker 2: My church? Do they be running in here? Like? Do
• 49:51
  Speaker 2: you feel the sphere like when you when I walk
• 49:53
  Speaker 2: into church, I want to feel the spear, Like yeah,
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: this is my focus right now, Like this is I
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: need to be in these like this is the atmosphere
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: and I don't feel that now. When I walk in church,
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: I feel like we're in a fashion show or are
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: we to be on a teaktok video? Op there I dancing.
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: I don't know everything. Just she is over the TikTok churches, y'all.
• 50:16
  Speaker 2: I get it though.
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: I get it though, because some of it's real, some
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: of it's just people capturing because I think there's a balance,
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: because marketing is needed everywhere. I think there's a balance.
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: It's a way you're trying too hard and a way
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: that you're promoting the church. And some teens can be,
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: in my opinion, to churchy, and some things could be
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: because we used to complain about it. I don't know
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: if you ever heard of this, but I cannot say
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: the denomination. I was gonna say it often to get
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: myself in trouble, the denomination that.
• 50:46
  Speaker 2: I grew up in. They still do the same thuff.
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: Still the magazine is still the same, the content still
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: the same.
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: It's still look like it's in the nineteen eighty. We're bad.
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: We're bad, and it ain't nothing wrong with the good him,
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. But it's certain things that's
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: needed for the development of the time.
• 51:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I say. I think you can be
• 51:09
  Speaker 2: modern and still be church. That's so good. I think
• 51:13
  Speaker 2: that's it. I think you can still be a modern
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: church without all the extra I really do believe that.
• 51:18
  Speaker 2: I just feel like I don't. I don't want to
• 51:21
  Speaker 2: say about people. But it's this one pastor. It's not
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: a Burningham past because I know y're gonna think I'm
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: talk about Pastor Mike. Never ever, would like ever, because
• 51:28
  Speaker 2: I used to go to the Rocks. Thank you. I
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: love Mike downright, past night, I love you down I
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: would never discredit you because I used to go there.
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: I went. I was with Pastor Mike through the eye
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: strip when he put the eye strips sign up. I
• 51:43
  Speaker 2: was just through all that. Okay, he was bold and
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: that inspired me to this day.
• 51:49
  Speaker 4: But not not.
• 51:50
  Speaker 2: It's another like viral Pastor to be going viral artists,
• 51:53
  Speaker 2: he'd be just doing outrageous, outlanded stuff. I don't know
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: where he is, but he like he's it on the man.
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: Oh lord, But I'm not gonna say nothing right, and
• 52:07
  Speaker 2: nobody's going to be perfect. We're all human. We're all gonna,
• 52:10
  Speaker 2: you know, do things the way we feel. But come
• 52:13
  Speaker 2: on that, y'all, we're going too far. I get it,
• 52:16
  Speaker 2: I get it.
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: But I think this is healthy dialogue because you're somebody.
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: You said you were in the church, right, so there's
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: an appreciation there. And I don't feel like you're bashing
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: when you said it's like the expectation.
• 52:29
  Speaker 2: I'm a teacher, so I know expectation. Like certain things
• 52:33
  Speaker 2: I do. My principal be like, hey, hey, baby, you
• 52:35
  Speaker 2: you can't post it heading up, tait that down for
• 52:38
  Speaker 2: it because you're not them, because I'm not them. And
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: sometimes we were trying to like but we yeah, I'm you.
• 52:45
  Speaker 2: You have to when you in a position of teacher,
• 52:49
  Speaker 2: pastor preacher, you know, things like that. Regardless of who
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: you are at your core, you have to still remember, like, dang,
• 52:55
  Speaker 2: I'm a teacher, right, Yeah, sometimetimes I do have to
• 52:58
  Speaker 2: catch myself. But teaching is a profession. Church is a home.
• 53:03
  Speaker 2: Church is an atmosphere. Churches is a place where people
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: can come and surrender. You see what I'm saying. It
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: should be open. It shouldn't be a show. I shouldn't
• 53:16
  Speaker 2: have to worry about coming to church and you putting
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: a camera in my face. Look at all the new members, y'all.
• 53:21
  Speaker 2: I'm not here for that. I'm not here for that.
• 53:23
  Speaker 2: I'm really here to surrender and get help.
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: She clocking it, She helping the people know because we
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: need to hear that. Some folks got to check the church.
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: And sometimes when you're outside of church, we don't know,
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: we don't know. You know what I'm saying, I know
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: I'm just as but I feel like I'm balanced, but
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: it's still things that I'm blind to because I'm in
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: so close and so I'm excited to you then.
• 53:48
  Speaker 2: Visit and you also visit. Does a raised church is
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: really good? T pc ly, Yes, that's my cousin. What
• 53:58
  Speaker 2: she was just on here? Didn't know that, didn't know
• 54:04
  Speaker 2: that we love her down here? She been on here
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: twice yr family.
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: Okay, that but that makes sense though, too, Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: real bad shout out shout out to Lynn. Okay, So
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: I think you knew I was gonna bring this up
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: speaking so lost. No, you don't, because you were responded.
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: You responded to me when I when I come in
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: it under that post because you were talking about your man.
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: You were talking about how you know he's helped you
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: pray right every day, but you also brought up the
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: fact that it's and I don't don't quote me verbatim,
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: but what I digested is that you're more intimate in
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: a relationship and like you're very open, but it was
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: very hard for you to pray.
• 54:56
  Speaker 2: Can we talk about that, like, what what was your struggle?
• 54:59
  Speaker 2: They don't know because I'm I'm the loudest person. I'm
• 55:02
  Speaker 2: the most person I have the most personality for everybody
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: in the room, Like I can talk to anybody. But
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: it's just like I just got so scared, Like I
• 55:11
  Speaker 2: just like shut down. I was like, no, not doing that,
• 55:15
  Speaker 2: I can uh text you a prayer? And he's like no,
• 55:18
  Speaker 2: like y he he said it out his mouth. He's like,
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: you get on the internet talking front of the meetings
• 55:21
  Speaker 2: people every day. You can't talk to God with me. Mm, well, buddy, huh,
• 55:26
  Speaker 2: why'd you do that? Why would you say that to me?
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: But it was just really scared because that's a new
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: level of intimacy that I've never experienced in my life.
• 55:33
  Speaker 2: Like I said, I never even pray with my daddy.
• 55:35
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. I never pray with no
• 55:36
  Speaker 2: man before a man pray What excuse me, but I
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: never prayed with a man before. I never even had
• 55:44
  Speaker 2: a man ask me to do anything. So it was
• 55:48
  Speaker 2: very scared. But it also made me do a lot
• 55:50
  Speaker 2: of st I've been talking about this since that day. Yeah,
• 55:51
  Speaker 2: I I T I know it's a lot because it
• 55:53
  Speaker 2: really not broke me in a bad way, but it
• 55:56
  Speaker 2: broke me to where I need to heal disneyed to
• 55:58
  Speaker 2: heal some something wrong with that. But people, and you
• 56:01
  Speaker 2: know people, not just women, People are so quick to
• 56:06
  Speaker 2: lay down with somebody. Yeah I didn't have my waist.
• 56:10
  Speaker 2: People are so quick to lay down and give they
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: body to somebody for real. But when it came to that,
• 56:17
  Speaker 2: it was just like dang, Like I was stuck. And
• 56:21
  Speaker 2: still I'm still trying to figure out why I'm praying
• 56:23
  Speaker 2: with him, you know more now it's you know, been
• 56:25
  Speaker 2: a slow process because it's not something that I want
• 56:27
  Speaker 2: to fake the funk or just put some words together.
• 56:30
  Speaker 2: I want to make sure, Like when I pray by myself,
• 56:32
  Speaker 2: I'm loud, Like how I talk to how I'm talking
• 56:34
  Speaker 2: to y'all, how I talked to God? Yeah, walking around
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: the house, be that, and they're like, I really be
• 56:39
  Speaker 2: in it, Like in it, I'm talking about it. But
• 56:44
  Speaker 2: when it's when when when he, you know, approached me
• 56:47
  Speaker 2: with it, and it was like, come on, let's pray together.
• 56:50
  Speaker 2: What do you mean by that?
• 56:51
  Speaker 4: What?
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: What?
• 56:52
  Speaker 2: Okay?
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: So obviously you don't have a problem with praying, right,
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: you don't have a problem with your relationship with God,
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: But that intimacy, I do believe there's another intimacy when
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: somebody else is like praying with you in.
• 57:05
  Speaker 2: Your intimate space. Do you do you think?
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: And it's just me trying to help you like process this?
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: Do you I've heard somebody say, let me preface this
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: with this. I've heard I think it was Tim Ross.
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: If I'm not mistaken, please don't quote me on that.
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: But I was on social media. I think it was
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: a pastor that was talking about you shouldn't be praying
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: with your insignificant other because the intimate, the level of
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: intimacy if you don't think they're about to be your husband, wife, X,
• 57:35
  Speaker 1: Y and Z, the level of intimacy that it does
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: require to pray with somebody, because that that's so on,
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: like I'm naked with you, like you know my prayers.
• 57:43
  Speaker 2: Does that part scare you? That scares me because oh
• 57:47
  Speaker 2: I need to teach you, but she's coming. Oh I
• 57:51
  Speaker 2: felt it.
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: M It's okay, thank you because I gotta keep this
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: man make up so expensive. I don't think a man
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: ever valued me that much. M, not even the man
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: who my daddy. I don't I have never felt that
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: value ever for you to want to pray for me,
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: not just me, my family he prayed for my mom
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: my sister.
• 58:24
  Speaker 2: You pray with the dogs like he praying for my
• 58:26
  Speaker 2: grandparents and you ain't even met my grandma. You know
• 58:29
  Speaker 2: what I'm saying that that level of value showed me off. Real,
• 58:35
  Speaker 2: you're not playing You been told me that I was
• 58:38
  Speaker 2: your wife. Oh, because he'll let y'all know, he'll tell anybody,
• 58:42
  Speaker 2: but you saying that, but you're showing me behind clothes.
• 58:44
  Speaker 2: Nobody knew about this until you know me loudmouth getting
• 58:47
  Speaker 2: talk about everything. But that's a that's a different that's
• 58:52
  Speaker 2: a different protection. Men are protectors, providers. That's a whole
• 58:56
  Speaker 2: different ball game. And I never experienced that in any
• 59:00
  Speaker 2: and it it broke me because do I deserve that?
• 59:06
  Speaker 2: Do I deserve?
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: Like?
• 59:07
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, Like they're really like, they're
• 59:10
  Speaker 2: really like, why do I deserve that? I gave everything
• 59:16
  Speaker 2: to a man, everything I used to pray, be the
• 59:21
  Speaker 2: only one praying, the only one, you know what I'm saying,
• 59:24
  Speaker 2: like doing this on my own. So now I have
• 59:27
  Speaker 2: a man that is taking taking all the loads off.
• 59:32
  Speaker 2: You see what I'm saying, all the known and unknown,
• 59:36
  Speaker 2: he praying for stuff that he don't even know, like
• 59:39
  Speaker 2: will he be praying and some of the stuff that
• 59:40
  Speaker 2: he say, Like how do you know that? That was
• 59:43
  Speaker 2: the biggest thing for me. That's what scared me because
• 59:45
  Speaker 2: like I deserved it me, I that for real, after
• 59:51
  Speaker 2: I deserve it, am I somebody value me that much?
• 59:56
  Speaker 2: And it really just broke me. Like I come off
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 2: so confident, which I am. I am, but everybody has
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 2: an insecurity of something. Yeah, and I don't really think
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 2: I understand, like I'm still learning my true value. Yeah,
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 2: but somebody really value me that much to where you
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 2: want to cover me. Holy. Yeah, you don't want to
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 2: just come over here and spend the night. You don't
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 2: want to just make sure I'm even good, make sure
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 2: you send me a little cash up or something. You
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 2: want to make sure I'm right at my center. That's different.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: I hear you, and I feel you, and I see you.
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: I also hear what's not being said, and you can
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: correct me if I'm wrong, But it's me and you.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 2: This is a level of love.
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: That not only you're receiving from him, but I believe
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: that God is you in him so he can get
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: his love back into you.
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 2: And that's what I told him. I just didn't know
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 2: the words. I just told him that. I told him,
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 2: I said, when you be talking, when you be praying
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 2: and talking to me about God, that's not even me.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 2: I don't even be hearing you. It's a whole I
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 2: never been able to put that into words to just
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 2: I don't it don't be you. It's a whole nother thing,
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 2: Like it's a whole new somebody that came down and
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 2: picked up baby, took me out of grown woman body
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 2: and picked up baby Britain and finally cradled this girl finally,
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 2: like oh my God, finally just like gave her that
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 2: love she just been missing for so long, you know
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 2: what I'm saying for so long? Like it's just people
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 2: don't understand, like I didn't been through some things, boy,
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 2: some real life stuff. And when he's praying, I don't
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 2: hear his voice. I don't hear my man voice, and
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 2: I never you know, I told him that, but you know,
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 2: like he probably understand w ooh. I don't know if
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 2: you understand or not. But it's just like a whole
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 2: different presence for me. It's so heavy, m it's so heavy,
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 2: but it's so a relief. Yeah, it's a like you
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 2: feel safe, too safe. Yeah, it feels I never feel
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 2: safe like that ever. And when I was in my
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 2: past relationship, I would always say that, like I will
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 2: always be like bruh, I just don't feel safe here.
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 2: I just don't feel safe. I just don't feel safe here.
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 2: Now I'm so safe and it's so s it's it's
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: not scared per se like I'm running from it. I'm
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 2: I'm growing with it. I'm not going again. I don't
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 2: go against the ground. I'm a real fi. I'm a
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 2: buy my principals just to tell me growing up you
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 2: a bull minded, good little girl, you are really something else.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 2: I don't fight this. I I need even if this
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 2: man is not my husband. This is what I need
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 2: right now.
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 1: Mm.
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 2: And it's very mama like this level of I don't
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 2: even know the words, but this level of this is
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 2: very It's love. It's love all that buying me a bag,
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 2: and I don't care about it. I care about this
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 2: like the comb. And then it's even after prayer conversations everything.
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 2: I don't cuss as much as I used to. Go
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 2: watch my videos. Yeah you don't, you don't cut watch it?
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 2: I used to. I don't do you know, I don't
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 2: my brain, I don't know. It's just different. It's a
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 2: different level of care, it's a different level of genuine
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 2: it's I can, I can.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: Man, We've tapped into something that we as women have
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 1: to be more vocal about and not in an angry manner.
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 1: But what I what I'm hearing you saying, is something
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 1: I've said about myself. I've not felt safe in relationships
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 1: I've dealt with, you know, domestic, violent relationships and everything,
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 1: like just the whole spectrum. And the one thing I
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: need to do is feel safe, and not just be
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 1: safe like from physical abuse to whatever, but safe to
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 1: be me, safe to be me, and safe to be
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 1: able to grow.
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 2: And that's what I'm hearing you saying.
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 1: Like I had to stifen myself because of the wall
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 1: that I had to put up with where I am
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 1: and what we have to put walls up is not
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 1: just hurting the person per se, but it's hurting a
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 1: better version of itself. In Brittany, Thank you Holy Spirit.
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 1: What I'm hearing you saying, and even what I'm hearing
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 1: the Lord's say for you, is that this is the
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 1: time that the better version of you that you've always
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 1: dreamed to be. This is a time not only do
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: you meet her, but you become her right like you
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 1: have permission to be the Brittany you know that you've seen, Like,
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 1: because you're a seer, you're a vision. I've heard all
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 1: of this.
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: Great, Like, I've heard all of this and it's in you.
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 1: That's why I said, are you open to do it?
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: On a Bible study? Because do you not know the
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 1: oil that's on your life? Do you not know the annoyance?
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 1: I don't care how much you feel like you've come
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 1: from God, talking to God or whatever. I think there's
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 1: a deeper revelation and deeper relation that He wants with you,
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: not just for anybody else, but for you because you've
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 1: had to thank you Lord, You had to save yourself
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 1: so many times, and God says I'm saving you. This
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: is the season that he's literally showing you the part
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: of him is like, I've already redeemed that I've already
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 1: saved that. No more protecting yourself, no more walls, now
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 1: that you've done the work, Now that you submitted and surrender,
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 1: like you said earlier, there's gonna be so many things, man,
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to calm down. Ooh, I'm trying to calm down.
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 1: There's gonna be so many things, so many opportunities for
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 1: you to be able just to be the comfidy Like
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 1: people don't even know the confidence that you're about to
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 1: walk in just because you feel free.
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 2: I feel free. I feel free in every aspect. Like
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 2: everybody know. I love gospel music, like that's my core.
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 2: Like I've always wanted to lead praise and word. Can
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 2: I see? Go ahead, guys, you know I've always you know,
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 2: now I'm in a space when I'm listening to the gospel.
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 2: I don't have to worry about somebody being like, oh,
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 2: he should go turn it off. That ain't real. I'm
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 2: in a space now where my man be like sing
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 2: a girl, let the word come, you know like that.
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 2: And I've never experienced that, Like that's a different type
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 2: of safe space. Like Jesus Man, Lord is a breather.
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 2: It's different, like he's singing gospel with me. Mm hm,
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 2: you see yeah. But that's that's that's a that's something
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 2: I've never seen before, you know, Like it's it's it's
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 2: I've heard that young girls get to experience this y'all
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 2: be worried about all this flitch stuff materials. None of
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 2: this stuff matters. Anybody can buy you a bad baby.
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 2: Anybody can cash up you. I can cash up you.
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 2: You need somebody who's for your whole self. Your whole self,
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 2: your betterment come out of this material like because I
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 2: used to be big on there, like oh gonna buy
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 2: I used to be like that. Not saying that you
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 2: didn't go back period, that's not important to me. Yeah
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 2: that stuff come and go, yeah, come and go. But
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 2: the conversations like I was saying that me and bou
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 2: bear hair during and after prayer. That sticks with me
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 2: through everything. Yeah, especially like the first day when he
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 2: brought it up, like okay, we need to you need
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 2: to pray. Because he was doing all the print, I'm
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 2: just like a man callejah gory like that's me in
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 2: the background. Yeah, hey man, Hello. Yah no, ma'am you're
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 2: a woman of God. Yeah, come on you powerful like
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 2: he The way he pours into I was so empty
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 2: when I love that, so empty, I seem strong because
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 2: she got I'm drying. I don't even got anything. I
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 2: don't even know how I'm I don't even know how
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 2: I'm moving this stuff in his house. This man is
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 2: pouring everything. You're so powerful, you're so great. Look what
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 2: God did for you. Look how but it ain't just me.
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 2: Look what God did for you. Come on, Look how
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 2: God shining through you. God blessed you. God did that,
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 2: God did God. It's always God, it's never us. Yeah,
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 2: everything that comes, all everything go back to God. God
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 2: did did, God did, dear God did dear God. And
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 2: I'm so honest. Now that's how I know I'm different.
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 2: I'm so honest. I don't have nothing from him. I
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 2: tell him everything like that's because you feel safe. It
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 2: goes back, it goes back. I probably go too far.
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 1: If I can't tell you that, you might not need
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 1: to be my man, because I used the bathroom too.
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 2: Before.
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 1: I before I ask desireate her thoughts. I'm gonna ask
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 1: you this. I don't know if you know this, but
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 1: Flos the.
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 2: Mac has been here and he's our brother. We love
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 2: him so much.
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 1: And one of the things we asked him was what
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 1: he wanted to be in five years, like where he
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 1: see himself. And I want to ask you that because
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 1: we want to be praying for you. We want to
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 1: be with you and have evidence of what you spoke
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 1: here on just as the podcast.
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 2: Five years? What is Brittany? Five years? Brittany in five
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 2: years have? I just want to help girls. I've been
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 2: through a lot and other people don't know. I've been
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 2: through a lot. I grew up in real deal poverty.
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 2: It was days we did not have water. I used
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 2: to go outside my dad and catch rain water in
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 2: a trash can do you understand? Do you know how
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 2: that feel? You can't boil it, take a bad because
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 2: ain't no power. People don't know. They me and my
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 2: sisters to share shoes and clothes. My sister west Side seven,
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 2: I west Side ten. You see what I'm saying. So
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 2: it's just like I want to build a safe space,
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 2: a safe haven for young girls, especially young girls who
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 2: grow up with trauma, whether it's sexual abuse, mental abuse,
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 2: verbal abuse. Because I don't know why people count that
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 2: out that count words last long as it than a
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 2: black eye. Remember that. I want to build a safe
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 2: haven for girls, and I want to build baby Brittany's.
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 2: I want these girls to be so powerful. I want
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 2: these girls to see themselves for who God cabbed them
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 2: to be off real. I want to pour so much
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 2: into these babies that you can't you can't take from
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 2: you can't you can't take off of them. So I
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 2: just want to build like a safe have not like
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 2: a group home. Maybe a group home, maybe like a
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 2: group home type or deal. But it's more for mentoring
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 2: like after school or before school, during school, you know,
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 2: just for those trouble makers like me, instead of alternative
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 2: schools like sending these girls to star and audience sending
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 2: to me. I love that and I can see it.
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 2: So I love that that brit Britta don't play out
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 2: for real. I shouldn't be like that. Now it's Brita
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 2: don't play for real like she cool, like don't come
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 2: real structured. I love it. That's a ray this one. Yeah,
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 2: this was it was, It was really good.
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 1: But what I what I what I'm enjoying is to
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 1: watching this transformation in real life, like this is like
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 1: my first time meeting you.
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 1: But I'm hearing a piece of your story in my
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 1: own in my own story, and what I'm learning on
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 1: this journey of when you wait and and allow God
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 1: to send you who you need, it's more than just
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 1: a companion. You know what I'm saying, and what I'm
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 1: also what I'm learning is you think about think about
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 1: Adam and Eve, like God plays Adam in a garden
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 1: for him to tend to cultivate, to grow, you know
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying, to plant seeds. And when he sent
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 1: him a help mate, that's the set that was still
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 1: his job to cultivate. So women were naturally we're gonna
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 1: give you. We're gonna give you what you give us. Right,
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 1: we're sent to help multiply. So if you have somebody
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 1: who is only sowing negative words only you know it's
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 1: it's negative, it's it's abuse, right, what do you what
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 1: do you expect to get back from that? But imagine
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 1: a man who is cultivating his woman with words like
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 1: speaking into her life, you know, making sure she feels safe.
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 1: Just imagine what she can give from that, you know
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying. And I think that and I think
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 1: that we missed that a lot just because we don't
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 1: understand God's originally intent for man and woman, you know
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying. And so to see you in a
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 1: space where God is l literally inviting you in to
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 1: learn him as a father, you know what I'm saying,
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 1: and he's doing that through an earthly vessel. And that's
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 1: and that's literally what I'm hearing because that's what I've
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 1: experienced myself in different people. But in that season, I've
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 1: gotten to learn the Lord God as father. And it's
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 1: such a tender and intimate space. If you just think about,
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 1: like I don't have we don't have children, right, but
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 1: I can only imagine, like I know my mom did
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 1: the best that she could. I know she would go
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 1: to hell and high water for me. So just imagine
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 1: what much more than your heavenly Father would want for us,
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So this is a beautiful
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 1: journey and I'm excited that and I'm glad Jess could
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 1: ask you that question because now it's like we put
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 1: it out there and it's like, now that we know
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 1: your heart and where and the things that God has
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 1: put in your heart, it's only a matter of time
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 1: before these things start to come. And it's gonna come
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 1: through relationship with him. He's gonna start giving you like
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 1: dreams and visions and you're gonna start seeing these things
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 1: literally begin to manifest in not much time to come on,
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 1: because you've actually put some because you've actually put because
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 1: he's put to it. It's crazy, right, you begin to
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 1: align yourself with the heart of the Father, like we
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 1: have our we have we can make goals and stuff
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 1: like that, but when you begin to align yourself with
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 1: who you know God has called you to be, it's
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 1: only a matter of time.
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 2: It don't take it. Don't take God no time.
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 1: We think it's like, oh, a year from now, No, baby,
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 1: it could be next week, it could be today, because
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 1: today literally you know. So I'm just excited. I used
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 1: to sit, just listen and just glean. And so we're
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 1: gonna be watching Brittany.
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 1: We're gonna be rooting for Brittany. We're gonna be praying
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 1: for Brittany. And if anything, if there's anything, like you know,
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 1: being just we're here, like anything we can help you with,
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 1: like so thank you for sharing your story and just
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 1: being so old.
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah no.
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 1: Locked locked inn ain't no switching. Oh okay, I know
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 1: that you have a place here, thank you, a place
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 1: here beyond the camera, like real bad. I'm okay, I'm
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 1: just gonna be obedient. We've said a lot, we've.
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 2: Talked a lot. This has been good. I've enjoyed you.
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 2: I really enjoyed this. I'm so glad you did. It's
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 2: important that you did. I did. I gained. I didn't
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 2: just enjoy I gained I didn't just enjoy it. I
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 2: gained words like how to what I've been trying language? Well, yeah,
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 2: what I've been trying, what I've been feeling, I've learned
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 2: to put it in words. I'm glad your teacher.
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 1: Shut up to you and you hartually said I was right.
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 1: So when y'all see me, it's just be like, oh,
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 1: that's been.
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 2: And the aunt.
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 1: But no, we've said a lot and as a tradition
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 1: of just as the podcast, we allow our guests to
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 1: have the final words. So if you came anything with
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 1: on your heart, or if you want to pray, if
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 1: you whatever you want to do, and to land this plane,
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 1: the floor is yours.
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 2: Y'all, y'all love put me on the spot. But no,
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 2: I just want to thank God for y'all, for y'all,
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 2: for two black women to be able to create a
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 2: space to not where only we can be ourselves, but
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 2: we can surrender in front of God, in front of
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 2: millions of people. Because I'm praying that music of people.
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 2: We will view this, Yeah, millions subscribers. We on the way.
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 2: They're like, that's different. This didn't I didn't come in here.
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 2: I didn't. I didn't know what to expect. That's just me.
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 2: I don't when when I do podcasts, I don't go
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 2: watch it because I want to go in fresh. I
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 2: want to go in with you know, whatever comes to
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 2: my whatever I'm supposed to say, I want it to
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 2: follow on me. And when I came in here, from
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 2: the time ill when I heard you on the steps,
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 2: God wanted me here. This is a place of love.
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 2: This is a place of nurture, and I appreciate it
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 2: because I don't have big sisters. I am the big sister.
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 2: I'm the big dollar. Okay, So it just felt good
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 2: to be in a place where I can be a
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 2: little sister for me. I can listen, I can look
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 2: at you. I can feel your love without you, even
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 2: hook you don't even have to touch me. Your love
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 2: so strong, even when I've read the first DM that
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 2: you know, I've seen it alone. Like later, I felt
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 2: the love there like it wasn't nothing forced, it wasn't
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 2: nothing because all you had no Like that's something I
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 2: needed to do. Like when I got all dates mixed up,
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 2: that really bothered me. No, you don't understand, now, it
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 2: really bothered me. That's why I made sure I was
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 2: on time today. I've been up since six scot this morning.
• 1:17:06
  Speaker 2: For real, Like I this is a huge opportunity to me,
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 2: Like this is one of the biggest opportunities that I've
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 2: had thus far. And I'm so grateful. So y'all don't understand.
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 2: I am so grateful for y'all having me here because this,
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 2: this is a place of peace. This is a place
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 2: where I ain't cry. I never cried on no podcast,
• 1:17:28
  Speaker 2: nobody ain't never put that you know, made me feel
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 2: that safe, No shade nobody, because y'all know how y'all are.
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 2: But this is, this is just a different notion, and
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 2: I just pray God continue to bless You might not
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 2: look at it as touch your ministry, because this is
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 2: your ministry, this is your home, this is your piece.
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 2: Thank you for inviting me into y'all home. Thank you
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 2: for having me like this. This was a lot, like
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 2: not in a bad way, but like this is like yeah, yeah,
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 2: I think I really think that now, Like it's just.
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 1: I'm I'm gonna land the plane because we got we
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 1: got some stuff to do after we get off this camera.
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 1: Thank you, Brittany. Thank you for your yes, Thank you
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 1: for showing up. Thank you for being the courage sometimes
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 1: that I can't even be for myself. Thank you for
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 1: saying the things that I can't say.
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 2: Literally, I can't say it on my platform. You remember
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 2: what you said you I can't say it. Thank you
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 2: for being the voice.
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 1: Thank you for for just being willing to be transparent.
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 1: So I'm just so excited for the opportunity to grow
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 1: with you, y'all. This has been one for the book.
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 2: So good, so good. I can't wait to rewatch this
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 2: real bad, like who child? This this thene bless Me
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 2: real good.
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 1: So y'all let us know in the comments, how like
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 1: this conversation?
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 2: What was your mind? How did you how did you
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 2: connect with it? What questions did you have? What questions
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 2: didn't I ask Brittany that y'all wanted me to ask. Brittany.
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. She is gonna answer all
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 2: her TikTok Facebook I am, y'all know, that's that's her thing.
• 1:19:05
  Speaker 2: That's her thing.
• 1:19:06
  Speaker 1: She is very responsible. So y'all go ahead and ask
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 1: her be respectful. Please please be respectful. But we love
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 1: you guys until next time. Until next week, remember life
• 1:19:16
  Speaker 1: could be much more simple if you just asked.
• 1:19:19
  Speaker 2: Please.
• 1:19:25
  Speaker 1: Thank you for tuning in to this week's episode. Since
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 1: you've made it this far, you might as well connect
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 1: with us on all social media platforms at the Jessica S.
• 1:19:34
  Speaker 2: Smith.
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 1: I know I won't see you back until next week,
• 1:19:38
  Speaker 1: but until then, remember to love always yourself and always say.
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 3: Thank God for one another day. Hey, hey, I know
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 3: we could be another way. Hey, pray thank God for
• 1:19:57
  Speaker 3: another day. Hey Hey, I'm just thankful another day. Hey hey,
• 1:20:06
  Speaker 3: another day? Oh, another day wise, another day to get
• 1:20:10
  Speaker 3: it right, another day to rise up, another day living.
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 3: Another day we loved ones. I always remember hold it
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 3: down for a ball one yoh