Latest / The Radio From Hell Show - Best Of / Sending Kids to College from August 7th, 2026
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: So this morning I woke up to a text from
- 0:03Speaker 1: my husband that said, Mohammed got home from work. My son,
- 0:08Speaker 1: not the prophet, Mohammad got home from work. He gets
- 0:12Speaker 1: home from work long after I'm in bed. And he
- 0:15Speaker 1: grabbed his hammock and a blanket and left to go
- 0:20Speaker 1: hike Mount Timpanogus to watch the sunrise. This is the
- 0:24Speaker 1: second time he's done this in the last little bit.
- 0:26Speaker 2: Has way too much energy.
- 0:28Speaker 1: And if you go to x n I six dot
- 0:29Speaker 1: com slash life, there's I sent him a text this
- 0:31Speaker 1: morning saying, show me the sunrise and this is what
- 0:33Speaker 1: he sent me. And it's beautiful. But time time is
- 0:39Speaker 1: ending for him to be home.
- 0:42Speaker 2: You're throwing him out.
- 0:44Speaker 1: No, he's he's lead, he's running out. He I asked him, Uh,
- 0:49Speaker 1: when do you move out? And he said, ten days,
- 0:54Speaker 1: nine hours, and thirty six minutes. I have a countdown
- 0:57Speaker 1: clock on my.
- 0:58Speaker 2: He can't wait to leave you.
- 1:00Speaker 1: Wait.
- 1:00Speaker 2: Wow, I can't wait to get out of there. To
- 1:02Speaker 2: get out, good for him.
- 1:05Speaker 1: And I will be an empty nester officially.
- 1:08Speaker 2: Wow.
- 1:10Speaker 1: Like in ten days, nine hours, and thirty two minutes.
- 1:12Speaker 2: What's it like, Carrie? Wonderful? Sounds pretty good to me, yeah,
- 1:19Speaker 2: it's great.
- 1:20Speaker 1: It's weird, and everyone's like, are you okay? And my
- 1:24Speaker 1: algorithm on social media knows I'm at this point in
- 1:27Speaker 1: life because I keep getting sent all these you know
- 1:29Speaker 1: what it's like to be an empty nester and how
- 1:31Speaker 1: to deal with it posts and stuff. Yeah, so you'll
- 1:35Speaker 1: have to ask me after how I'm feeling about it,
- 1:37Speaker 1: because right now I'm like, yeah, it's this is what's
- 1:39Speaker 1: supposed to happen. It's great, it's I'm happy for him.
- 1:43Speaker 1: But getting a daughter to college and getting a son
- 1:47Speaker 1: to college are very different things. So my daughter Jonesy,
- 1:52Speaker 1: when she first moved out for like a month, six
- 1:57Speaker 1: weeks before she moved, she looked up the dorm, looked
- 2:01Speaker 1: up the schematics of the room with the the it's this,
- 2:05Speaker 1: it's you know, here's how big it is. There are
- 2:08Speaker 1: three drawers there. The drawers are this big. She had
- 2:13Speaker 1: a measurement out and there's some program where you can
- 2:16Speaker 1: design your dorm room and figure out, okay, I can
- 2:18Speaker 1: fit this many socks in this drawer. She had a
- 2:22Speaker 1: spreadsheet with it all written out. She had a spreadsheet
- 2:25Speaker 1: with all of the things she needed for her dorm
- 2:28Speaker 1: that we needed to purchase and where to get them.
- 2:31Speaker 2: Somebody really needs to get her some help.
- 2:34Speaker 1: She was so planned Mohammed. I keep saying, we need
- 2:38Speaker 1: to get stuff for your dorm. I know I'll get it.
- 2:42Speaker 1: Like I haven't bought.
- 2:43Speaker 2: Him one thing, Sure, I'll get it.
- 2:46Speaker 1: I am just I'm planning on him, like moving out
- 2:50Speaker 1: with you know, a toothbrush and he's resourceful. The hoodie
- 2:56Speaker 1: and that's it.
- 2:57Speaker 2: He'll he'll do like I.
- 2:58Speaker 3: Did, sleep on the floor for a few mons'll be okay.
- 3:02Speaker 1: I'm like, we we should probably so he and and
- 3:05Speaker 1: some of his friends who he's gonna be living with,
- 3:07Speaker 1: they did do go do a little shopping and I
- 3:10Speaker 1: was excited about that.
- 3:11Speaker 2: They bought Dorito's, didn't they Well.
- 3:13Speaker 1: He came home and he's like, so we've decided that, uh,
- 3:18Speaker 1: we're just gonna buy one big bottle of body wash
- 3:21Speaker 1: and one big bottle of shampoo, and we're all just
- 3:23Speaker 1: gonna use the same wash and shampoo.
- 3:28Speaker 2: That way, we don't have a bun even there. I
- 3:33Speaker 2: think they're even gonnare did he say? And we're gonna
- 3:35Speaker 2: shower together to save water?
- 3:38Speaker 1: I mean and and I mean I guess that makes
- 3:41Speaker 1: but this is as much thought as has gone into
- 3:46Speaker 1: We've decided we're just gonna get oh, and I I
- 3:52Speaker 1: guess I just let it be. And if he if
- 3:55Speaker 1: he's ready, he's ready. And if he's not, he's not.
- 3:58Speaker 2: And if he I went, I when I I, when
- 4:03Speaker 2: I left home, my mother didn't know I was gone
- 4:05Speaker 2: for about a year because when I was, because when
- 4:10Speaker 2: I was at home, I was never there, you know,
- 4:14Speaker 2: I was. I was hardly ever there.
- 4:17Speaker 1: But I so I will, I will go move in day.
- 4:20Speaker 1: But my guess is that's the only time I will
- 4:24Speaker 1: see his dorm I don't. I probably don't. I'm not
- 4:27Speaker 1: gonna want to see it.
- 4:27Speaker 2: I don't think you want to see it after that
- 4:30Speaker 2: at all.
- 4:32Speaker 3: I give him fair warning that you're coming now.
- 4:35Speaker 2: The dormitory residents, the people who they call him RAS
- 4:42Speaker 2: Resident assistance, they have standards and they will there must
- 4:46Speaker 2: be some amount. No they do if things if they
- 4:49Speaker 2: get if things get too grimy, Hey you better pick
- 4:55Speaker 2: this up. Yeah, yeah, they will. They will not let
- 4:58Speaker 2: that go.
- 5:00Speaker 1: I don't think I want to see it.
- 5:02Speaker 3: You know, hilly buttered noodles for a few months, sleep
- 5:05Speaker 3: on the floor.
- 5:06Speaker 1: Yeah, that's part of growing, right.
- 5:09Speaker 2: He's he's all, he's you'll always have spending money.
- 5:12Speaker 1: He's fine, he's been working hard all summer and saving money.
- 5:17Speaker 1: But he so he works where he gets tips and
- 5:21Speaker 1: he gets cash.
- 5:22Speaker 2: Oh yeah yeah.
- 5:23Speaker 1: And he in his room right now, there's like a
- 5:25Speaker 1: lot of cash on his Windowsill take it. And I said,
- 5:30Speaker 1: I said, okay, when you're in the door, you take it.
- 5:34Speaker 1: I know you don't think your friends would steal from you,
- 5:37Speaker 1: and it might not be your friends, but if there's
- 5:39Speaker 1: a lot of cash in your room, it will walk off.
- 5:43Speaker 2: As a matter of fact. Why don't you tell me
- 5:44Speaker 2: where it is and I'll come and take it, just
- 5:47Speaker 2: to teach him a life. Go to the bank, where'd
- 5:50Speaker 2: my money go? Bill stole it?
- 5:55Speaker 1: I mean when I was a waitress and I got
- 5:57Speaker 1: paid in tips, I remember going to the my my
- 6:00Speaker 1: her payment was fifty five dollars, and I remember going
- 6:03Speaker 1: to the bank with fistfuls of one dollar bills to
- 6:07Speaker 1: make my car payment.
- 6:10Speaker 2: I don't think I've ever gotten a tip for anything ever. No,
- 6:14Speaker 2: I don't think I've ever worked.
- 6:16Speaker 1: People give you dimes, Well.
- 6:18Speaker 2: That's not the same. I haven't. I don't think I've
- 6:21Speaker 2: ever worked a job like that where you where you
- 6:25Speaker 2: got to know that's fun? Yeah, because I know, because
- 6:29Speaker 2: I didn't serve anything or yeah, no I didn't.
- 6:34Speaker 1: Yeah, you do end up with just a bunch of
- 6:37Speaker 1: like loose small bill dash.
- 6:41Speaker 2: So I'm amazed. I never was a waiter.
- 6:44Speaker 1: I am a you're an actor. I have all actors.
- 6:47Speaker 2: Yeah, And I would have been a really I would
- 6:49Speaker 2: have been a good, really good waiter, but I just
- 6:51Speaker 2: never did it.
- 6:52Speaker 1: But just so you guys know, I've I've said for years,
- 6:55Speaker 1: as soon as my kids are all up and out,
- 6:58Speaker 1: we don't have to do the show anymore.
- 7:00Speaker 2: So how many days? Okay, well then what do we
- 7:07Speaker 2: what do we? What are we messing around for?
- 7:09Speaker 3: Why don't we just yeah, we've got easily that many
- 7:12Speaker 3: days in vacation.
- 7:13Speaker 1: I mean, I still I still want to I still
- 7:15Speaker 1: want it.
- 7:17Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, walnut wood paneling, strange orange carpet, buttered noodles.
- 7:26Speaker 1: You're just thinking of moving out.
- 7:28Speaker 2: The first time I moved, I lived the first place
- 7:32Speaker 2: I lived, well, I lived in an apartment over the
- 7:34Speaker 2: top of a of a corners grocery store, Boyle's Market,
- 7:39Speaker 2: and we my friend and Scott and I lived in
- 7:42Speaker 2: an apartment over the top of it. Like our window.
- 7:45Speaker 2: I it was on twenty eighth Street. On our window
- 7:47Speaker 2: looked out over the flat roof of the of the
- 7:50Speaker 2: market and then to the street. And oh, we had
- 7:53Speaker 2: this really mean cat. So we'd put always put him
- 7:55Speaker 2: out on the roof, yeah, because he would he'd attacked
- 8:00Speaker 2: people for some reason. But then I moved into a
- 8:02Speaker 2: place when I got married, and it was a little
- 8:04Speaker 2: like mother in law house, a little tiny house behind
- 8:08Speaker 2: the main house. And it was pretty ramshackle as a
- 8:11Speaker 2: matter of fact. And I liked this, and my wife
- 8:13Speaker 2: could not stand it. There was a small tree growing
- 8:17Speaker 2: up between the board and in the shower. Yeah, there
- 8:23Speaker 2: was a little tree, you know. And she went for
- 8:25Speaker 2: the water. Yeah, she said, we got to cut that
- 8:27Speaker 2: and cut that off, and I said, no, I like it.
- 8:30Speaker 2: It's you know, it was just this little green shoot
- 8:33Speaker 2: of a treege Yeah, was coming up through the floor
- 8:36Speaker 2: of the shower.
- 8:38Speaker 3: So next time you see Bill out and about tip, yeah,
- 8:41Speaker 3: give me a tip for these services.
- 8:43Speaker 2: I require twenty percent of whatever you have in your wallet,
- 8:48Speaker 2: all right,