Latest / SisterSmart Leadership / 4: How to Gain Influence as a Leader in a New Department with Monica

Transcript

4: How to Gain Influence as a Leader in a New Department with Monica · SisterSmart Leadership

• 0:00
  How do you get established in a new area of the business and develop all
• 0:03
  the relationships that you need to be seen as the next rising leader?
• 0:07
  I would love for you to meet Monica, who is here to share her journey with
• 0:10
  the sister smart coaching program and how it's affected her life.
• 0:14
  As you listen to her journey of getting established in her new
• 0:17
  department so that she can be seen as that next person to be promoted.
• 0:21
  I hope you'll be inspired so that you can do this as well.
• 0:25
  Monica works for a large pharmaceutical company, and she changed to a totally
• 0:28
  new department shortly after we started working together, she's working at a
• 0:32
  higher level and she needed to be able to step up her executive presence and
• 0:36
  her communication skills to succeed.
• 0:39
  And she has done the work.
• 0:41
  When I spoke with her manager in a stakeholder interview, I was taken
• 0:45
  by how invested he is in her success.
• 0:47
  And I know that she made that happen.
• 0:50
  So let's meet Monica to learn more about her journey.
• 0:53
  Jill Avey: I'm Jill Avey, a career success coach, and this is Sister
• 0:56
  Smart Leadership, the show that explores how women can rise from
• 1:00
  director to vice president and beyond by fully leaning into their feminine
• 1:05
  energy as their biggest advantage.
• 1:07
  Let's get you one step closer to the recognition and promotion you deserve.
• 1:12
  What were you experiencing that made you want to reach out and get
• 1:17
  guidance from an executive coach?
• 1:18
  Monica: I felt like I was stuck.
• 1:21
  I was doing all the stuff, all I was reading all the books and I
• 1:24
  was doing all the right things.
• 1:26
  But I wasn't maybe executing.
• 1:29
  I knew what to do, but I still felt very stuck, like I wasn't
• 1:32
  moving forward in any way.
• 1:34
  Then I decided, maybe I could use some help.
• 1:36
  And I spoke with a few different executive coaches.
• 1:40
  And I, asked their references.
• 1:42
  They all had great references.
• 1:44
  But there was something about, when I spoke with you, I
• 1:46
  felt more connected to you.
• 1:49
  And you didn't necessarily pressure me into making a decision.
• 1:52
  I just knew at that time that if I needed any help, then you would be the
• 1:57
  person that would be able to help me.
• 1:59
  And I'm so glad that I did.
• 2:01
  At the end of my journey, I feel like it's opened up such a big world for
• 2:06
  me in terms of thinking and doing things, not just in my professional
• 2:11
  life, but also in my personal life.
• 2:13
  I think I had a tremendous amount of growth after all our one on one sessions.
• 2:19
  Jill Avey: I've seen it.
• 2:19
  I really have.
• 2:22
  And you were really careful about making that decision.
• 2:24
  What are some of the things that you were weighing that you were considering about
• 2:28
  before you started a coaching program?
• 2:30
  Monica: What I was looking at was I knew I needed help, but I wasn't sure if a
• 2:36
  group setting would be good for me or a one on one session would work for me.
• 2:41
  And that was one of the things I was weighing.
• 2:44
  I was weighing how much it's going to cost.
• 2:48
  I was weighing in how much it's really going to help me, what is
• 2:52
  it going to bring into my life that I don't have currently?
• 2:55
  and I said, Well, if, I don't do it now, I'm not going to do it.
• 2:59
  I'm just not going to do it.
• 3:00
  I have an opportunity to work with someone who is so passionate and so talented
• 3:08
  and who's been there, who's worked in the corporate world knows how things
• 3:13
  happen in that world, who else better?
• 3:16
  And not somebody who's connected into my world at all, somebody
• 3:20
  from an outside perspective.
• 3:22
  So I looked at all that and then I also talked with some of the references
• 3:26
  that the different cultures and.
• 3:29
  You Jill have provided to me and, it took me some time to make that decision.
• 3:36
  But eventually after putting it all together, my bottom line was there was
• 3:41
  a very strong gut instinct, of course.
• 3:44
  And I said, well, let's go for it.
• 3:46
  Let's do it.
• 3:47
  I'm willing to put in the time and the effort into it, so let's go for it.
• 3:51
  And that's how I made my decision.
• 3:53
  Jill Avey: This is a huge investment to make for most people.
• 3:57
  I would love to hear your thoughts on that piece if you're willing to talk about it.
• 4:01
  Monica: Yeah.
• 4:01
  So one of the things I did think about is that, I spend this time.
• 4:06
  The investment of time first and foremost is significant because you're meeting and
• 4:10
  there's homework to be done and there's a lot of deep work that needs to get done.
• 4:15
  And then there's the investment of the actual costs of the whole program.
• 4:19
  And I figured that if I do well and I spend that time and effort I will get
• 4:26
  to the next level and more than make up for the time that I spent, the money
• 4:30
  that I spent on this on the program.
• 4:32
  And although that's not happened right now, but I do see that I am
• 4:37
  being groomed for that next level.
• 4:39
  Obviously the signs are there in place to get to that next level.
• 4:44
  And that's been part of the training.
• 4:46
  So you know, I feel like this is a small price to pay for that bigger game to
• 4:50
  get to the next level which will happen.
• 4:53
  Sometimes, people get it much earlier.
• 4:55
  They're like an eight, nine months or something like that, but these
• 4:58
  are real changes you have to make.
• 5:00
  They just take time.
• 5:01
  Something that you've been living with for most of your adult life, the
• 5:04
  beliefs, the thoughts that has to change.
• 5:07
  Many times it just cannot happen in eight or nine months.
• 5:11
  It just takes time.
• 5:12
  And sometimes the changes happen in you internally, but it takes time for
• 5:16
  other people to be able to see it.
• 5:18
  And so I thought through all of that.
• 5:20
  And I said, well, it's okay, let's, let's do it.
• 5:23
  What's the, what's the biggest thing?
• 5:25
  It's some money.
• 5:26
  That's all.
• 5:27
  But, it brings about such a huge perspective.
• 5:29
  Like I said, it just helps.
• 5:30
  It helps not just in your you know, professional life, but also
• 5:34
  hugely in your personal life.
• 5:36
  It's helped me gain respect in my own home much more than what I had before.
• 5:40
  Money comes and money goes, isn't it?
• 5:43
  I think these, some of these other things that you gain is
• 5:45
  it's a lot more is a lot more.
• 5:48
  Yeah.
• 5:49
  So that's how I looked at it.
• 5:51
  And that's how I thought about making this this investment.
• 5:55
  I tried to get my company, but I think a lot of things were going on
• 5:58
  at that time because I was switching groups, so who would be paying for
• 6:01
  this and all that was coming along.
• 6:04
  But nevertheless, I still went ahead and did it.
• 6:06
  I didn't wait for the company
• 6:09
  Jill Avey: you were hoping to get your promotion this year, but you didn't, and
• 6:14
  you got a signal from your boss that you needed to put some more time in and, but
• 6:20
  I know from speaking to your manager that he's highly invested in your success too.
• 6:24
  And tell me about, what you expect to be getting from this program.
• 6:29
  Like, what are the results that you think that will be coming for you?
• 6:32
  Monica: My supervisor and Jill had a great conversation, I think, about
• 6:37
  my career growth and he's a VP who's really invested in my, my growth and
• 6:43
  he was able to provide confidential feedback to you and you were able
• 6:49
  to translate that for me into more bite sized pieces, which I could use.
• 6:54
  He does communicate with me, but it's in a more guarded way.
• 6:58
  I think having Jill over there really helped.
• 7:01
  What he had told me was my communication skills could be helped.
• 7:06
  And you were able to give me very specific, tasks that I could use.
• 7:11
  For that communication.
• 7:12
  I've been picking on those and using those.
• 7:15
  He has mentioned to me that he is grooming me for the next level.
• 7:20
  Which I think is fantastic because he is a VP.
• 7:24
  And I feel like he chose me versus others in the group, others in the
• 7:28
  groups are getting minor assignments.
• 7:30
  I get picked for all the prime assignments on the major, major stuff.
• 7:35
  I think that was very helpful as well, to actually speak with
• 7:38
  your supervisor and understand exactly what he's asking for, so.
• 7:42
  Jill Avey: I always love it when I can do a stakeholder interview because it
• 7:45
  does really help to hear, from your manager, what they're looking for.
• 7:49
  But also, I've been working with you personally, so we can translate
• 7:53
  that to what works for Monica, not just what works for the company.
• 7:58
  I like to personalize it like that because then you're getting to
• 8:01
  be your authentic self that way.
• 8:04
  Monica: That's right.
• 8:04
  That's right.
• 8:05
  That's absolutely right.
• 8:06
  And I think that was a very useful conversation with him.
• 8:10
  And he always has it in his mind that I have a coach and he says,
• 8:13
  maybe you should ask your coach how you can handle some of these things.
• 8:16
  So I, I like that very much.
• 8:19
  You know, he, he has it in his mind that I have a coach, so it was very useful.
• 8:24
  I appreciate your time for that too.
• 8:26
  Jill Avey: so you got
• 8:27
  promoted, or you got this new role shortly after we start working together.
• 8:32
  What were the challenges that you were facing when you first came into that role
• 8:35
  as far as, getting to your goals and what you had in mind of where you wanted to go?
• 8:41
  Monica: I think I was in another role, which I was not really very happy with.
• 8:46
  I used some of my networking skills to pitch for another
• 8:50
  role in another department.
• 8:53
  And, lo and behold, the head of that department got in touch with me.
• 8:59
  Asking me if I was interested.
• 9:00
  It was a lateral move.
• 9:02
  And we had the interview.
• 9:04
  I wasn't too happy that it was a lateral move, but it was in the direction
• 9:08
  that I wanted to go in versus my previous role where I was not happy.
• 9:13
  And this new role is different in a sense that it requires a different skill sets.
• 9:18
  It's more reading, more thinking, less doing, remembering stuff and being able
• 9:24
  to pull it out of your memory and using it in your interactions with people.
• 9:28
  So those were some of the challenges and then, negotiating with people
• 9:35
  since the new role involves more of that like I said, it's a more
• 9:39
  thinking more negotiating kind of role.
• 9:42
  So those were some of the challenges that I faced.
• 9:45
  My, my supervisor joined a couple of months after me.
• 9:50
  He's been in the field for a very, very long time.
• 9:52
  He, he took me under his arm and, under his wing and kind of helped
• 9:58
  with, okay, this is the direction.
• 9:59
  This is what we do.
• 10:00
  This is what you do.
• 10:01
  This is how, it's been about a year now and and I was out on vacation.
• 10:06
  where he actually got into the skin of my role, what exactly I do.
• 10:10
  He was handling everything.
• 10:12
  And when he came back, when I came back, he said, I'm so glad you're back.
• 10:17
  And and then he also mentioned, he said, it's very enjoyable what you do.
• 10:22
  And it's a lot that you do.
• 10:24
  It's also very enjoyable.
• 10:25
  And but he, he was happy to let, let me take over.
• 10:30
  I think he understood the depth of what my how, how far I have come from what I was
• 10:36
  to what I am right now under his guidance and under, working with you as, as well,
• 10:41
  because it was like a, two different mentors trying to get me through.
• 10:46
  So I know that now I used to be a little hesitant with feedback.
• 10:52
  But I know you told me that feedback is like a gift,
• 10:55
  right?
• 10:56
  And I told him that as well.
• 10:58
  He said, I want to provide you with feedback.
• 11:00
  I said, it's considered a gift and that's how.
• 11:03
  And he, if he gets feedback from other people in the team, that's
• 11:07
  how he presents it to me also.
• 11:08
  It's not harsh.
• 11:10
  It's not damaging.
• 11:11
  It doesn't hurt you.
• 11:13
  It's in a very nice way in the context of helping you grow.
• 11:17
  The gift in the context of helping you grow and I love it.
• 11:21
  It's really helpful if you have somebody who's got your back that way, Actually
• 11:25
  thinks about getting you to the next level with all this feedback and so
• 11:29
  the other day we were preparing a list of people because mid years are
• 11:33
  coming through and We start preparing a list of people that would provide,
• 11:38
  and they are all VPs and senior VPs as well as people from my previous group
• 11:43
  who I have to work with right now and who were not necessarily happy when I
• 11:48
  left this first group to the next one.
• 11:50
  But, that feedback is still important.
• 11:52
  And if they've seen a growth or if they've seen a change in me, We
• 11:56
  need to make a note of that, right?
• 11:58
  We have to record that as part of the mid year review or as a final, or to
• 12:02
  help you grow into the next level.
• 12:06
  As long as you see a change and movement in the right direction,
• 12:10
  there is, that's positive.
• 12:12
  That's what you want to be happening.
• 12:15
  And if you feel like there's no change happening or nothing has changed,
• 12:18
  then that also needs to be noted.
• 12:19
  So we are in that situation right now where all these VPs and everybody are
• 12:24
  going to be Giving feedback and that is so important because they are so important.
• 12:29
  This is that network that you create for getting you to the next level.
• 12:33
  And if some of their feedback is taken into consideration
• 12:36
  and changes made accordingly, you're almost there, you know?
• 12:40
  So yeah, that's been helpful.
• 12:43
  Jill Avey: You've worked really hard on establishing those relationships and so
• 12:46
  it's really coming to fruition for you.
• 12:48
  Monica: Yes, absolutely.
• 12:50
  I make it a point now when we have to go to the office that I set up lunches or
• 12:55
  one on ones with the senior management.
• 12:58
  Once in a while I send them articles of interest to them.
• 13:03
  I work with a lot of doctors.
• 13:04
  They're all MDs.
• 13:06
  And they're very much interested in different clinical trials and
• 13:09
  how many of them are competing with our clinical trials.
• 13:12
  I understand all that pretty well.
• 13:14
  , and they don't have time to read through all of that stuff, so I put
• 13:16
  it all together and I send it to them.
• 13:18
  I get nice thank you notes or I get a little bit of a, this was so
• 13:21
  useful to us or something like that.
• 13:23
  Those are ways I try to establish and keep in touch with everybody.
• 13:27
  I also am careful in, when I have these meetings, I prepare very well before.
• 13:34
  It's not just, we'll take it as it goes.
• 13:36
  I prepare well in a sense.
• 13:38
  What do we act?
• 13:39
  What do I want to get out of this meeting?
• 13:42
  They don't know that, that I have that agenda, but I'm very specific
• 13:45
  about, general talk and then I get into more details like, okay, what
• 13:49
  do you think about this meeting?
• 13:50
  What do you think about this particular partner?
• 13:52
  And how do you think we can make more out of an alliance?
• 13:55
  Things along those lines.
• 13:57
  I think it has been incredible because then what I'm put it all
• 14:00
  together, it sounds like, oh wow, this is exactly what I had thought of
• 14:05
  Jill Avey: Yeah.
• 14:06
  Monica: wanted.
• 14:06
  So yeah.
• 14:08
  Jill Avey: Right.
• 14:08
  You're doing all that legwork ahead of
• 14:10
  Monica: Yep.
• 14:11
  Jill Avey: yeah.
• 14:12
  And you've worked really hard on your interpersonal skills too,
• 14:15
  because you've got some personalities to, to deal with in this role.
• 14:19
  You know, you've got lawyers and doctors and, all kinds of senior
• 14:23
  leaders that you're working with.
• 14:25
  And, it can be a little rough and tumble sometimes.
• 14:28
  Monica: Yes.
• 14:29
  A lot of the senior leadership the lawyers and the doctors, a lot of them are males.
• 14:33
  In fact, I would say 90, 95, 98%, 100 percent is all men.
• 14:41
  And uh, with women, it's, it's a little different in terms
• 14:44
  of the interactions with men.
• 14:45
  I think one of your earlier videos had talked about it,
• 14:48
  that men are constantly playing.
• 14:51
  They're in the game more, most of the times.
• 14:53
  And then...
• 14:54
  They're friends after that, so they can be, making fun of each other and
• 14:58
  putting each other down, but they're still friends at the end of the day,
• 15:00
  which is not exactly how women work.
• 15:03
  Because I work with mostly men, I've learned that part where, it's
• 15:08
  okay, I don't have to feel hurt every time they express an opinion.
• 15:12
  Sometimes, for example, they would say something like, I
• 15:14
  know my space more than you do.
• 15:15
  and earlier me would have actually felt very bad.
• 15:18
  Oh my God, why did you say that to me?
• 15:20
  I know my space, you think lower of me, but not anymore.
• 15:23
  I developed a thick skin.
• 15:25
  I was like, okay, whatever, you know, you're entitled to your opinion.
• 15:30
  That's okay, let's move on because if I let my thoughts Get into the
• 15:34
  way of, Oh my God, it's all about me.
• 15:35
  It's not all about me.
• 15:37
  We got to move forward in the next discussion topic or whatever.
• 15:40
  I cannot sit there hovering on the negativity of what was said
• 15:43
  before and what it meant and all that we have to move on.
• 15:46
  That's helped me tremendously.
• 15:47
  developing a thick skin is very important in a male dominated
• 15:51
  industry, because that's how they work.
• 15:53
  They're not sitting there thinking about your feelings.
• 15:56
  Jill Avey: especially in your business.
• 15:58
  Monica: Exactly.
• 15:59
  Exactly.
• 16:00
  You just move on, you know, you're not going to sit there and take it personally.
• 16:03
  Jill Avey: what parts of the program were helpful for you in doing that?
• 16:05
  Monica: So I think earlier , there was a section and I forget exactly
• 16:09
  which module it was, but it was on how men and women are different.
• 16:13
  I think maybe module one, very early on it was there.
• 16:17
  Jill Avey: in executive presence?
• 16:18
  Monica: It may be, maybe, yes, maybe in the executive presence, it was
• 16:22
  there and yeah, that, that's where I realized, yeah, that's true, isn't it?
• 16:26
  And we never really talk about those things.
• 16:28
  We just continue on and continue on feeling bad and staying
• 16:32
  away from people or whatever.
• 16:34
  But it's, yeah, and I really like it actually.
• 16:37
  I like it that they don't hold on grudges and they don't do these, they
• 16:40
  just move on and they don't remember this, let's, let's make decisions.
• 16:44
  So this is working with the senior leadership.
• 16:46
  Now, I began to realize that that's exactly what they're looking for
• 16:50
  also in folks who are going to be in the succession planning.
• 16:55
  Not people who are holding on to all these different things and this and that and
• 16:59
  it's very clear cut, very, very clear cut.
• 17:02
  This is what we need to get done and we don't need to have
• 17:04
  a whole jingbang of things.
• 17:06
  It doesn't matter people's feelings at this point, keep them aside.
• 17:09
  I mean, they are important not to say, but you know, let's cut to the
• 17:12
  chase and get to the end result.
• 17:13
  And I really like that.
• 17:16
  Very clear cut.
• 17:18
  The meditation that I've been doing.
• 17:20
  That PQ reps and the meditation part has, has really helped
• 17:27
  a lot in everything actually.
• 17:31
  That's become like more of a primary focus now.
• 17:34
  More than I started off, having the career being the focus and I didn't
• 17:38
  realize how much these tools that I use in that this one tool becomes so
• 17:44
  much more primary than everything else.
• 17:46
  Because if you take care of that one thing, everything
• 17:49
  else will fall into place.
• 17:51
  I feel like my meditation just helps me be more self aware, something I wasn't before
• 17:58
  I started this program and started the PQ Repping and how my saboteurs are holding
• 18:04
  me back again, everywhere in my life.
• 18:07
  So the judge is still there.
• 18:10
  Just not as strong.
• 18:13
  just not as strong and that helps redirect your energies in the right direction.
• 18:18
  You know, you're not wasting time judging people.
• 18:19
  You're just focusing on what you need to get done.
• 18:23
  And that inner voice, that inner witness, helps you get through a lot of things.
• 18:28
  The inner witness just, you just have answers that come through dramatically.
• 18:35
  When I first started, I kept asking you, right, if I don't have
• 18:39
  the saboteurs, what else am I?
• 18:40
  You know, what, what am I with all my saboteurs without them?
• 18:45
  And you had given me an answer.
• 18:47
  No, that's just you.
• 18:48
  And I didn't understand it at that time.
• 18:51
  Oh yeah, yeah, that voice is just silenced.
• 18:53
  You're not good enough?
• 18:54
  No.
• 18:55
  You're fantastic.
• 18:58
  I do not, but you know, it's more it's more reasonable.
• 19:01
  It's not like you're horrible or you're fantastic.
• 19:04
  It's more, it's like a reasonable.
• 19:06
  We have done this better.
• 19:08
  This was a good response.
• 19:10
  Something along those lines, versus beating yourself down all the time.
• 19:14
  , I think that was a very important part of this program.
• 19:17
  Jill Avey: call this emotional balance where what you're talking about is that
• 19:20
  you don't have as much of the highs and lows of like, oh, my gosh, this was great.
• 19:24
  And then, oh, it was terrible because I didn't do a good job here.
• 19:28
  And you're even speaking about that in your meetings where.
• 19:31
  You're not taking things as personally, so you can just let go
• 19:35
  and just do the work and not have as much of the emotional piece of it.
• 19:40
  It's not that you're not feeling your emotions still, but they
• 19:44
  just aren't as necessary.
• 19:46
  It sounds like.
• 19:47
  Monica: I took the retreat in, in December when I went away on
• 19:50
  vacation again, Florida, I got the time to the deep work which helped
• 19:55
  me and it was right, I think, in the middle of the, of the whole program.
• 20:00
  It helped me assess so many different things.
• 20:03
  It, it first and foremost, like I said, made me fertile to input and that input
• 20:09
  I've utilized on what, how I want to utilize, how use that for my growth.
• 20:14
  What do I want in life?
• 20:16
  There's a whole like, I think guide that on the personal retreat where
• 20:21
  you can utilize, just keep that time away to think about what you want
• 20:26
  to do and what's important to you.
• 20:30
  Jill Avey: What did you get from the personal strategy retreat
• 20:32
  that you wouldn't have gotten if you didn't take that time away?
• 20:36
  Monica: It gave me a lot of time to think.
• 20:38
  And I think that's when I realized that, My career is important, but I am
• 20:45
  important as well, and what I, I was putting so much emphasis on my career
• 20:53
  and the other aspect of my peace, my health, myself was, was getting neglected.
• 21:03
  And when I went into that deep work, that's when I realized that.
• 21:07
  If I take care of this part, the other things will fall into place.
• 21:12
  I'm running behind the wrong things.
• 21:15
  I, I need to first fix this part, myself, my mental health
• 21:21
  what I really want in life.
• 21:24
  And I think that's where I, I upped my thing on, on meditation as well.
• 21:30
  Jill Avey: Tell me about what it was like going through the
• 21:32
  program as a woman of color.
• 21:33
  I try to make it a really inclusive space, and I would love
• 21:36
  to hear how that went for you.
• 21:38
  Monica: So I, I think the color part, I got that.
• 21:41
  I got educated in the United States.
• 21:43
  The color part I don't think held me back, but the woman part held me back.
• 21:48
  The way I look at things the way, like I said, the emotional as
• 21:53
  I'm not saying that we don't need emotional, just being too emotional.
• 21:59
  Men can't handle it.
• 22:01
  And if you're working in a highly male dominated industry you have
• 22:05
  to learn to think like them.
• 22:07
  And I wish it was the other way around where, they would have to think like us.
• 22:11
  They don't.
• 22:12
  They might get labeled as too girly and they don't want that.
• 22:16
  Instead, if you want to win in the game, you got to think like them.
• 22:20
  And, and, keep that the, the, Oh my God, embarrassment.
• 22:25
  How does this look and how does that look?
• 22:27
  No, keep all that away.
• 22:29
  We got to focus on the work.
• 22:32
  And how are we going to the next steps.
• 22:34
  They are also highly political.
• 22:36
  Men tend to be highly political as well.
• 22:38
  And you have to understand that political game.
• 22:41
  Like I said, you have to know how to play the game, how they play it.
• 22:44
  That means if you can get a male mentor who can help you guide through some of
• 22:49
  these things because they have their turf.
• 22:51
  They tend to be territorial.
• 22:52
  They tend to be political.
• 22:53
  They tend to be not going without whoever's in the way, they'll
• 22:57
  keep them aside to go forward.
• 22:58
  You have to understand all that, and if you are going to be in
• 23:03
  that way, you might get hit.
• 23:07
  And it's not personal.
• 23:08
  It is not personal at all.
• 23:10
  The earlier you learn about those kind of things, the easier it gets
• 23:14
  for you on how to navigate your way through some of these things.
• 23:19
  On how to achieve your objectives through some of these things.
• 23:23
  So that's what I, I got from the meditation.
• 23:27
  I think the meditation and the program.
• 23:31
  I was able to get some of these things like, executive presence.
• 23:34
  No point arguing over small little things, you know, just in a meeting.
• 23:38
  Also, no point.
• 23:39
  I'm right.
• 23:39
  You're right.
• 23:40
  Doesn't matter.
• 23:41
  Okay, let's agree to disagree.
• 23:43
  Move next steps, you know, that sort of thing.
• 23:46
  Just.
• 23:47
  Yeah, that's, that's what I learned, and being able to project that confidence
• 23:51
  being able to speak your mind.
• 23:55
  They can't read your mind, they can't read your body language.
• 23:59
  Speak your mind, say what you're thinking and be very clear about it.
• 24:03
  And I can feel that my influence and I say now because I went on vacation
• 24:08
  and came back when I came back, I realized that a lot of things my
• 24:13
  boss couldn't handle and it was left to me to negotiate with the senior
• 24:17
  management because I have to influence.
• 24:21
  So now he uses me to negotiate, to create that.
• 24:24
  So it made me realize I do have a lot of influence once I was able to
• 24:27
  put all those other things aside.
• 24:31
  That's, I think that's helped me, the girl part, the women part helped me.
• 24:36
  The color part, I'm not so sure,
• 24:38
  Jill Avey: But the program worked for you, even, , as a woman of color.
• 24:42
  I guess that's what I'm wondering.
• 24:44
  Monica: Yeah, yeah, like I said, it did help me navigate my way through a
• 24:49
  lot of different things with all these, with all the men that I work with.
• 24:54
  Jill Avey: Yeah.
• 24:55
  You also got a lot from the conversational intelligence part in navigating how you're
• 25:01
  having these conversations, didn't you?
• 25:03
  Monica: That is right.
• 25:04
  I was having some issues with another person.
• 25:08
  she was always being challenging and Like, everything I did was to be challenged.
• 25:15
  And that was pulling me down because a lot of my energy was going in placating her.
• 25:21
  In trying to get her done with so that she doesn't bother my other next steps.
• 25:27
  And some of the conversational intelligence and the
• 25:30
  discussions that I've had.
• 25:32
  And I've also actually, the one on ones I used to have where
• 25:35
  she used to just bulldoze me.
• 25:39
  I got my boss involved with some of those things, and once we had that
• 25:43
  conversation about, We're all trying to get to this final, there's no point
• 25:47
  trying to put someone down or anything.
• 25:49
  Having that very honest conversation helped.
• 25:52
  Now we work as, we help each other out.
• 25:57
  It's not that combative relationship that was before.
• 26:01
  It's more collaborative now.
• 26:03
  We're trying to get to a common goal.
• 26:06
  We're trying to help each other out.
• 26:07
  I think that, that helped and I know next time I run into an issue
• 26:11
  like this, I know how I'll be able to handle some of these people, the
• 26:16
  naysayers, the naysayers of the team.
• 26:19
  Jill Avey: So you, you have this, this bigger role and this new additional
• 26:23
  responsibilities and you've really grown in this role over the time
• 26:25
  that we've been working together.
• 26:27
  And how do you balance that with staying authentic to yourself and
• 26:31
  your own feminine leadership style?
• 26:34
  You talked about needing to meet the men where they are, but yet,
• 26:38
  how do you keep you where you are?
• 26:40
  Monica: So you know how you did the knowing yourself,
• 26:43
  the first, very first thing?
• 26:46
  That is so key, right?
• 26:48
  In knowing yourself and what are your negotiables, non negotiables.
• 26:53
  Who you are, what your strengths are.
• 26:56
  Jill Avey: What you're talking about is that you did the work to know yourself
• 27:01
  and that, you know when you're getting away from that and you bring it back in.
• 27:05
  Monica: yes, I do.
• 27:07
  I do, absolutely, I bring it back in.
• 27:09
  But you can't always because it's usually a group decision.
• 27:13
  But you know, you have to live with yourself, which means at least I said it.
• 27:17
  I made my voice heard, you know.
• 27:20
  And you're confident enough to bring it out.
• 27:23
  It's not just you mutter around, you think, should I say anything or not.
• 27:26
  It's more in this kind of a group setting, you're like, no, I
• 27:30
  have to voice what I'm thinking.
• 27:32
  That's part of who I am.
• 27:34
  This is what I bring to the table.
• 27:35
  So I have to speak it out right now.
• 27:38
  And many times it is appreciated that it was maybe a different viewpoint.
• 27:42
  And it was brought to the table.
• 27:44
  It may not be with a popular decision, but at least you're
• 27:48
  making your voice be heard.
• 27:49
  Jill Avey: And then you're being a team player and going along with what the team
• 27:52
  decides because that's the way That's you know, we don't always get our way, right?
• 27:57
  Monica: Yep.
• 27:58
  Absolutely.
• 27:58
  Absolutely.
• 27:59
  Yes.
• 28:00
  Yes.
• 28:00
  And then eventually you move on.
• 28:02
  Jill Avey: Do you have any advice for women who might be considering
• 28:05
  this program, but are on the fence?
• 28:07
  Monica: I would say go for it.
• 28:08
  It is an investment of time.
• 28:11
  It's an investment of money, but it's more time.
• 28:13
  that's the precious thing, you know, because time never comes back.
• 28:17
  But.
• 28:17
  I think the, output that you're going to get from it is so transforming,
• 28:25
  life transforming, not just for your career, but also your personal life, in
• 28:30
  your interactions with people, in, in anything that you ever wanted to do this.
• 28:36
  It's almost, it's like I said, like the PQ repping and the meditation
• 28:41
  and all of that knowing yourself is.
• 28:44
  Life transforming.
• 28:45
  So many of us go through life unaware.
• 28:50
  And this program helps draw that attention into yourself and how you
• 28:56
  perform, how you show up in the world.
• 28:59
  And what changes you could make to show up a little bit differently.
• 29:04
  I would say go for it.
• 29:07
  I would say go for it.
• 29:08
  Yes.
• 29:10
  Jill Avey: hope I hope you inspire some people to do just that
• 29:14
  Monica: Yeah, I hope so too.
• 29:16
  That's been my experience.
• 29:17
  And everybody's different, you know, and everybody's a different stage.
• 29:21
  And like I said, there's that fertile period, that fertile time.
• 29:24
  Everybody's a different state.
• 29:25
  Sometimes they are at that stage and sometimes they are not.
• 29:28
  I'm not sure Jill, if I, if I had met you many years ago, when I was
• 29:32
  in a different stage of my life, that I would have gone for it.
• 29:36
  I came at a different stage of my life, when I really, really
• 29:39
  wanted to make that difference.
• 29:40
  But when my kids were little, I don't know if I would have done it.
• 29:44
  It happens at the right time, But I highly recommend, if you have the
• 29:47
  opportunity, if not now, then when?
• 29:50
  Jill Avey: let me ask you the last question.
• 29:51
  Something that I like to ask everybody because I think we all need
• 29:54
  women to look up to is, is there a woman leader that you look up to?
• 29:58
  Monica: yes, there are people that I look up to.
• 30:01
  There was a lady that I asked her if she would mentor me, but she left
• 30:05
  the company but Robin, her name is Robin, and she left the company.
• 30:11
  I don't have a relationship with her, but she was a person.
• 30:13
  She was just awesome.
• 30:15
  Like in terms of speed of understanding.
• 30:18
  So when you, for example, when you sit in a meeting, right?
• 30:21
  This is an example of what I'm saying.
• 30:22
  Everybody's saying things, but to be able to assimilate what everybody's saying in
• 30:28
  their language, it's English, but they're all speaking in their own language.
• 30:33
  You assimilate everything and then you are able to process that and come up
• 30:37
  with the solution fairly quickly and summarize what they're saying, so you
• 30:42
  are saying this, this, this, and this, these are the points and therefore I
• 30:45
  only see this way as a direction that in my mind is like the ultimate way
• 30:50
  you are able to align this whole team.
• 30:53
  Guys, this is what we have to do.
• 30:55
  No arguments, no side talk, no, this and that, this is where we're going.
• 31:01
  Your voice, your projection, your ability to process and present that in
• 31:06
  a clear format for everybody to follow.
• 31:09
  That is what this lady could do.
• 31:13
  And I wanted to learn how she did that.
• 31:16
  in another company.
• 31:17
  I could still reach out to her, but I haven't done that.
• 31:21
  Jill Avey: And you have your muse though, to look, to think
• 31:23
  of like, how would she do that?
• 31:24
  And if you're at a crossroads, you can think about her and be inspired by that.
• 31:29
  That's wonderful.
• 31:30
  Monica: Yes, absolutely.
• 31:32
  Absolutely.
• 31:33
  Jill Avey: Well, thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me today.
• 31:36
  I'm so excited to be able to hear, some of your story that I don't even get to hear
• 31:41
  these things as we're working together.
• 31:43
  It's wonderful.
• 31:44
  Monica: Thank you, Jill.
• 31:45
  Thank you for your time.
• 31:46
  I hope you're able to get more people and that you're able to help
• 31:51
  more people live their best life.
• 31:53
  I think this, this investing in yourself helps you live your best life.
• 31:58
  And I think that's what you should be doing, right?
• 32:00
  Jill Avey: That's the hard part.
• 32:02
  Yes.
• 32:02
  Monica: Yep.
• 32:03
  Absolutely.
• 32:03
  You know, and there's so much information, so much out there.
• 32:08
  I think you need a mentor and a guide to put you in the right way.
• 32:10
  And everybody's in a different stage, right?
• 32:12
  You have to have the right tools at the right time.
• 32:16
  that's, I think, part of what the program gave me.
• 32:19
  If you found Monica's story inspiring or helpful and you're watching this
• 32:23
  on YouTube, please let us know in the comments which part you like the most.
• 32:27
  And if you'd like to hear more about the sister smart women's leadership process
• 32:31
  and how it might work for you, download my private podcast on the seven step
• 32:35
  passport to promotion on the sister smart.
• 32:37
  com website.
• 32:38
  The link is below in the show notes.
• 32:40
  If you want to dive deeper into women's leadership and how to
• 32:43
  move up in your career, subscribe either on YouTube or wherever you
• 32:47
  listen to your favorite podcasts.
• 32:49
  I'm on a mission to help more women get into leadership and stay there.
• 32:52
  And if that's aligned with you, I'd love for you to be part of this community
• 32:57
  and tune into more episodes on sister smart leadership that will support you to
• 33:01
  becoming the leader that you want to be.
• 33:03
  If you're ready to fully lean into your feminine leadership and get promoted
• 33:07
  from director to vice president and beyond, hit that subscribe button so
• 33:12
  you'll get all the episodes to come and check out the recommended video here
• 33:16
  to see how women are rising up without playing by the old rules that built these
• 33:20
  male dominated industries and systems.