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What is Depleted Mother Syndrome? · Arise Women of God

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  What is depleted mother syndrome?
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  Oh, my friend, if you woke up this morning feeling just as exhausted as when your head hit the pillow last night, or if you found yourself maybe clenching your jaw and wanting to crawl out of your skin because
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  your toddler asked for the fifth snack, I want you to take a deep, slow breath right now.
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  You are not an angry mother, you are not an impatient mother, and you are not failing in your faith.
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  What you may be experiencing is a very real, documented condition known as Depleted mother syndrome.
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  And we are going to talk all about what it is, why we rage, and what God teaches about taking care of ourselves.
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  Stay tuned.
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  Ordinary women extraordinary faith.
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  When God calls, we say yes.
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  Hello, and welcome back to the Arise Women of God podcast.
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  I'm your host, Tamara K.
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  Anderson, and my sisters and friends.
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  In our culture, we tell mothers to just push through, pray harder, and be grateful for every chaotic second.
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  But your body does have physical limits.
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  And today I'm so thrilled to be joined by my friend and licensed clinical social worker, Wendy Christensen, as we unpack what depleted mother syndrome and actually is why your brain reacts the way it does and what God has
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  to say when your strength is completely run out.
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  But first, let's listen to how Wende validates this reality right out of the gate.
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  Yes, mom burnout is real, is very real.
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  And it's important to recognize and to see when it is affecting you.
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  One of those is the neurobiology of depletion.
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  I love that phrase that Wendy uses, the neurobiology of depletion.
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  This is not just a bad mood, it is actually your physical biology.
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  Let me describe it another way.
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  Think of your life as an internal bank account.
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  Every diaper change, every bedtime negotiation, every meal prepared, every doctor appointment scheduled, and every emotional tantrum you absorb is a withdrawal from your bank account.
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  Now ask yourself, where are the deposits coming from?
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  A deposit could be uninterrupted sleep, nourishing food eaten in a quiet place, maybe laughter with an adult friend, time in God's word.
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  Or maybe 10 minutes of complete silence.
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  Oh, doesn't that sound glorious, sisters?
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  The problem is most mothers make about 500 withdrawals a day and get maybe two deposits in a week.
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  And you multiply that out over months and years and your internal vault doesn't just reach zero, it goes into overdraft.
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  And when your account is overdrawn, what happens when a 50 cent charge comes through, a child spills water on the rug, a backpack is forgotten, or a question is asked, like, mom, where are my shoes?
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  Suddenly your brain triggers A five alarm emergency.
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  You yell, you snap, you want to run away.
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  And that explosive reaction isn't an anchor problem, my friend.
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  It's an emptiness and a depletion problem.
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  Listen to how Wendy describes this clinical crossing of the line from everyday parenting fatigue to true depletion.
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  That's when we start getting concerned because it's not going away, it's not being alleviated, it's continuing over and over and over.
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  And it's starting to affect the daily life because we all have ups and downs.
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  That's pretty normal.
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  It's normal to have good days and it's normal to have some bad days.
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  But when it starts becoming all bad days and constantly overwhelmed, constantly tired and exhausted and having difficulty functioning, getting out of bed, taking care of the kids, even getting to a point where you might want to harm the
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  kids, right then that's when it starts crossing the line of even.
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  You know, even.
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  Maybe it's moving into a mental illness, but burnout is just feeling complete exhaustion.
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  Sometimes it will even turn into what we call mom rage, where you're snapping all the time or having this intense emotional, these outbursts over minor things that can be a sign that you're depleted, you're just really, really tired
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  and exhausted, or you're feeling numb, you're just going through the motions, you're feeling disconnected from maybe a partner and your children feeling.
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  Numb, just going through the motions.
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  If that is where your heart is resting today, I hope this scripture will comfort you.
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  In First Kings, chapter 19, we read about the great prophet Elijah.
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  He had just witnessed incredible miracles on Mount Carmel.
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  But then Jezebel threatened his life.
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  Elijah broke.
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  He ran a full day's journey into the wilderness, collapsed under a tree and prayed that he might die.
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  He told the Lord, it is enough now, O Lord, take away my life.
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  Elijah was spiritually depleted, emotionally maxed out, and physically drained.
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  Now look at how God responded to his exhausted servant.
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  God didn't send a thunderous sermon.
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  He did not tell Elijah, where is your faith?
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  Why aren't you reading your Scriptures?
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  Instead, the angel of the Lord touched Elijah, brought him a fresh warm cake baked on coals and a cruise of cool water.
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  Elijah ate, drank, and went back to sleep.
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  And then the angel woke him a second time and said, arise and eat because the journey is too great for thee.
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  Oh my friends, God knows that motherhood is indeed a great journey.
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  Psalm 103:14 reminds us.
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  For he knoweth our frame or our physical body.
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  He remembereth that we are of the dust.
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  God did not design your or my bodies to be infinitely moving and working and serving machines.
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  When we run out of fuel, our body will force us to stop.
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  And when we ignore that reality, that exhaustion often turns into what Wende calls the rage monster.
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  Wendy's now going to share a beautiful and vulnerable story about her own journey.
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  With this When I was a younger mom and I would burn out and I would be more angry, I would yell, I would get so frustrated and then I just felt horrible and the guilt would just rack my
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  soul that I had said or done certain things and I hated it.
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  And I remember just praying and begging the Lord, please help me to get rid of the rage monster that I didn't even know I had anger until I became a mom.
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  And then all of a sudden I was like, rage.
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  Where did this rage come from?
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  And the answer came through doing things to take care of me.
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  That's how I was able to figure out.
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  Oh, when I feel like I'm losing control, the rage monster comes in.
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  I love that the answer came through doing things to take care of me.
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  Oh mama.
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  God's answer to your depletion is not working harder.
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  It is receiving the cake from an angel and water under a tree.
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  If you resonated with what Wende just shared about that terrifying moment when the rage monster takes over because your tank is at absolute zero, I don't want to leave you without a concrete tool right now.
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  I'm so excited to share with you our new free resource, the Mom's Burnout Reset Guide.
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  Trading survival mode for Christ Centered peace.
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  Shift number five in here walks you through what we call the two minute calming reset.
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  And that gives you the exact 90 second emergency pause to take before you snap the words to say to your kids to set a gentle boundary and the two step prayer to immediately cast out the spirit of anger
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  and invite God's peace back into your soul.
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  And guess what?
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  This is completely free.
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  Just click the link right below the description to download your free copy and print out that emergency reset and put it on your fridge today.
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  Oh my friend.
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  Depleted Mother Syndrome is your body's built in check engine light.
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  It's telling you that your nervous system is in survival mode, your cognitive load is maxed out and your soul needs holy rest.
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  In our next episode we are going to walk through an honest five point self assessment to help you answer the question do I have Depleted Mother Syndrome?
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  We'll break down the warning signs so that you can identify exactly where your vessel is leaking so be sure you're subscribed so you won't miss it today.
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  Your only assignment is to stop condemning yourself.
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  My friend, you are not a bad mom.
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  You are an exhausted mom on a great journey.
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  Let the Lord guide you on how you can best care for your body today.
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  Thanks for joining us and we'll see you next time on the Arise Women of God Podcast.
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  If today's episode helped you feel a little closer to God, please like and subscribe.
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  It helps us grow and ensures heaven's whispers stay at the top of your feed whenever you need them most.