Latest / PAMOJA PODCAST | PAMOJA MINISTRY, A LIFE OF CHRIST INTERNATIONAL MINISTRIES / REFINED FOR A PURPOSE — Conversation VII: The People God Uses in Your Process Some People Are Part of the Journey, Not the Destination

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REFINED FOR A PURPOSE — Conversation VII: The People God Uses in Your Process Some People Are Part of the Journey, Not the Destination · PAMOJA PODCAST | PAMOJA MINISTRY, A LIFE OF CHRIST INTERNATIONAL MINISTRIES

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  Welcome to Pamoja Ministry. There comes a moment
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  when you begin looking backward over your life
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  differently. You remember people. Some loved
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  you. Some believed in you. Some opened doors
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  for you. Some carried you through difficult seasons.
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  Some taught you. Some corrected you. Some disappointed
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  you. Some betrayed you. Some made you cry. Some
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  made you pray. Some walked beside you for years.
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  Others appeared for only a moment. And sometimes,
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  years later, you begin to recognize something
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  you could not see while you were living through
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  it. God was working through relationships too.
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  Not because everything people did was God's will.
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  Not because everyone who hurt you was sent by
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  God. Not because betrayal suddenly becomes good.
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  because something good eventually came from it,
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  but because when your life belongs to God, no
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  human encounter is beyond his ability to redeem
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  and use, and perhaps some of the people you remember
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  only by what they did to you need to be reconsidered
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  through the larger story of what God was doing
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  in you. Today we are talking about the people
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  God uses in your process. Joseph's story is filled
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  with people. When we think about Joseph, we often
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  think about Joseph and God. Joseph received the
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  dream. Joseph entered the pit. Joseph became
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  a slave. Joseph entered prison. Joseph eventually
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  reached Pharaoh's palace. But look more carefully.
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  Joseph's journey was filled with people. Jacob
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  loved him. His brothers hated him. The Midianite
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  traders transported him. Potiphar purchased him.
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  Potiphar's wife falsely accused him. The prison
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  keeper trusted him. The cup bearer forgot him.
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  Pharaoh eventually promoted him. Different people.
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  Different motives. Different seasons. Different
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  effects. But one story. And this is where Providence
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  becomes mysterious. because some people were
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  helping Joseph intentionally. Others were hurting
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  him intentionally. Yet God remained sovereign
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  over where the story was going. Joseph's brothers
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  never said, let us help Joseph fulfill his dream.
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  They wanted the opposite. They saw him coming
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  and said, essentially, let's see what becomes
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  of his dreams. They believed removing Joseph
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  would remove the dream, but their actions eventually
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  moved Joseph toward the geographical location
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  where the dream would unfold. Think about that.
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  They were fighting what they did not realize
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  they were helping position. That does not make
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  their betrayal righteous. Their intentions were
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  evil. Joseph himself eventually tells them, you
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  meant evil against me. but God meant it for good.
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  Human intention and divine providence were operating
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  in the same story, but they were not morally
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  the same thing. They meant evil. God produced
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  good. Some people will bless you. There are people
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  God allows to enter our lives whose role is obvious.
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  They encourage us. They believe in us. They pray
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  for us. They support us. They correct us with
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  love. They stand beside us when everybody else
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  disappears. Paul had Barnabas. David had Jonathan.
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  Moses had Aaron and Her. Ruth had Naomi. Timothy
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  had Paul. There are seasons when God answers
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  prayers through people. You pray, God, help me.
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  And God sends someone who says, how can I help?
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  You pray, God, encourage me. and someone's phone
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  call arrives at exactly the right moment. You
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  pray for direction and someone says something
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  they may not even realize God will use. You are
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  exhausted and someone helps carry the weight.
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  Never become so spiritual that you fail to recognize
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  when God's provision arrives wearing a human
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  face. Sometimes the miracle is a person. Some
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  people will correct you. Then there are people
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  whose role is less comfortable. They tell you
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  something you do not want to hear. Nathan stood
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  before David. David was king. Nathan could have
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  remained silent. But Nathan said, you are the
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  man. Correction became part of David's refining
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  process. We often pray, God, show me what is
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  wrong. Then God uses someone to show us. and
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  we become angry with the person. Sometimes the
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  answer to your prayer for growth arrives as correction.
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  That does not mean every criticism is from God.
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  People can criticize from jealousy, misunderstanding,
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  insecurity, or their own wounds. That is why
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  discernment matters. But neither should we reject
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  every uncomfortable voice simply because it makes
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  us uncomfortable. Sometimes God places someone
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  close enough to us to see what applause has prevented
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  us from seeing. A wise person learns to ask,
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  God, even if I dislike how this was said, is
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  there something here you want me to examine?
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  That is maturity. Some people will make you pray.
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  then there are people you probably would never
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  have selected for your story. Difficult people.
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  Opposition. People who misunderstand you. People
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  who challenge your patience. People whose behavior
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  drives you back into the presence of God. And
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  again, we need theological maturity. Do not automatically
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  say, God sent this person to torment me. We do
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  not know that. But we can say, God. Since this
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  person is in this chapter of my life, do not
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  allow this experience to be wasted. Maybe their
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  behavior exposes your anger. Maybe their criticism
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  exposes your insecurity. Maybe their opposition
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  strengthens your prayer life. Maybe dealing with
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  them teaches you boundaries. Maybe their dishonesty
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  teaches you discernment. Maybe their rejection
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  teaches you that your identity cannot depend
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  upon human approval. Maybe their pressure teaches
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  you how to remain peaceful without controlling
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  everybody around you. You may never thank God
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  for what somebody did wrong, but one day you
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  may thank Him for what He developed in you while
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  you were dealing with it. Some people teach you
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  what not to become. Not every teacher teaches
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  by example. Some people teach by warning you
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  encounter a leader who humiliates people and
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  you learn if God ever gives me authority I don't
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  want to lead like that You experience someone's
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  dishonesty and you decide I want integrity to
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  define me You experience abandonment and it makes
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  you more sensitive to people who feel forgotten
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  You experience harshness and it develops compassion
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  You experience betrayal. And after healing, you
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  understand why loyalty matters. Sometimes somebody
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  else's character becomes a mirror showing you
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  the kind of person you refuse to become. Even
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  that can become part of refinement. Some people
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  are for a season. This may be difficult for some
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  of us. We sometimes assume that because someone
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  was important in one chapter, they must remain
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  equally important in every chapter. But scripture
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  shows relationships changing across seasons.
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  There are people who help you in one place, but
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  cannot accompany you everywhere. That does not
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  always mean somebody did something wrong. Sometimes
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  assignments change, geography changes, responsibilities
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  change, capacity changes, life changes. Paul
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  and Barnabas ministered together powerfully,
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  yet later separated after serious disagreement.
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  Their separation was painful enough that scripture
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  records it, yet ministry continued. Barnabas
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  went with Mark. Paul went with Silas. And later,
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  Paul himself would speak positively about Mark.
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  The story continued. Sometimes a relationship
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  changes without requiring us to rewrite the entire
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  relationship as a mistake. Something can have
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  been meaningful and still have been seasonal.
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  That is important. You do not have to demonize
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  someone simply because the season changed. You
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  can honor what was good without forcing what
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  has ended. Don't force people to remain in a
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  chapter God has closed. Sometimes we spend enormous
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  emotional energy trying to keep people in positions
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  they no longer occupy. We keep reopening conversations,
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  revisiting old relationships, trying to recreate
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  old seasons, trying to force yesterday's connection
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  into today's assignment. But refinement sometimes
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  includes learning to release, not in anger, not
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  in bitterness. Not through public humiliation,
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  but with maturity. Thank God for what was good.
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  Learn from what was painful. Forgive what needs
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  forgiveness. Take responsibility for what was
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  yours. And continue walking. Because sometimes
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  the problem is not that somebody left. The problem
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  is that emotionally, you never allowed them to
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  leave. Some people introduce you to the next
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  room. Then there are relationships that appear
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  small when they begin but become significant
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  later Joseph met the cup bearer in prison at
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  the time. He was simply another prisoner Joseph
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  interpreted his dream the cup bearer was restored
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  Then he forgot Joseph two more years passed Imagine
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  Joseph's disappointment the person who could
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  have helped him forgot him But when Pharaoh dreamed
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  and nobody could interpret it, the cup bearer
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  remembered. One relationship, one conversation,
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  one interpretation. Years later, a door opened.
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  You don't always know which encounter will matter
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  later. That is why we should treat people with
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  dignity, even when we cannot see what role they
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  may have in our future. Not because we manipulate
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  relationships for advancement. but because God
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  connects stories in ways we cannot predict. And
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  some people will forget you. This deserves attention.
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  The cup bearer forgot Joseph, and perhaps Joseph
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  thought, this was my opportunity. But Joseph's
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  promotion did not depend ultimately upon the
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  cup bearer's memory. When the appointed moment
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  came, the memory returned. Sometimes we become
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  frustrated because somebody who could help us
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  does not help us. They forgot. They moved on.
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  They didn't make the call. They didn't recommend
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  us. They didn't open the door. But if God has
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  attached purpose to your life, your future is
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  not imprisoned inside another person's willingness
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  to remember you. People can forget you. God does
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  not. And when the right moment arrives, God knows
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  how to bring your name into rooms you cannot
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  enter by yourself. Remember this principle. Don't
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  build your purpose around people. This is where
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  balance becomes necessary. People matter. Relationships
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  matter. Community matters. Mentorship matters.
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  Family matters. Friendship matters. But people
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  are not God. Do not make somebody so important
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  to your future that their departure convinces
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  you your purpose departed with them. Joseph's
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  brothers could not cancel his dream. Potiphar's
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  wife could not cancel his dream. The prison could
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  not cancel his dream. The cup bearer's forgetfulness
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  could not cancel his dream. Because the dream
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  did not originate with them. What people did
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  not give you People do not have ultimate authority
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  to take away from you. If God entrusted the purpose,
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  remain faithful to God. But there is another
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  side. Be careful who you give access to. Not
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  everybody should have equal access to your life.
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  We learned in conversation five. Bad company
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  can water bad seeds. First, Corinthians 1533.
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  warns that bad company corrupts good character.
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  Jesus loved everybody. But Jesus did not give
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  everybody the same level of access. There were
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  crowds. There were disciples. There were the
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  twelve. And there were moments when Peter, James,
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  and John were brought even closer. Love can be
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  universal. Access should be discerning. You can
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  forgive someone without restoring the same level
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  of access. You can love someone without allowing
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  them to influence your decisions. You can pray
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  for someone without making them your counselor.
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  You can wish someone well without bringing them
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  back into a place where they repeatedly weakened
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  your boundaries. Refinement includes learning
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  who can speak into your life. Maybe instead of
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  asking only, do I like this person? Ask, what
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  does this relationship produce in me? Does it
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  strengthen my faith? Does it encourage integrity?
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  Does it respect my marriage? Does it strengthen
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  my discipline? Does it challenge me toward purpose?
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  Can this person correct me? Can I tell them the
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  truth? Can they tell me the truth? Or does this
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  relationship continually normalize compromise,
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  feed resentment, encourage gossip, weaken boundaries,
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  increase secrecy, pull me away from prayer, make
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  disobedience easier, relationships are seeds
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  too, and relationships produce harvests. God
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  may use people without allowing them to stay.
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  Here is something else we need to understand.
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  Someone can be important to your process without
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  being permanent in your life. The person who
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  helped you through one valley may not be assigned
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  to your next mountain. The person who introduced
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  you to something may not be the person who helps
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  you build it. The person who taught you one lesson
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  may not remain for the entire journey. And sometimes
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  we dishonor a season because we demand permanence
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  from something God used temporarily. Instead,
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  learn to say, Thank you, God, for what this relationship
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  produced during its season. And when appropriate,
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  release it peacefully. A question remains. What
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  about the people who hurt you? Now we arrive
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  at the hardest category. What about betrayal?
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  What about false accusation? What about rejection?
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  What about somebody who intentionally tried to
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  harm you? Joseph eventually stood before the
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  brothers who sold him. He now possessed authority.
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  He could retaliate. He could imprison them. He
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  could humiliate them. Instead, Joseph had developed
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  enough perspective to say, you meant evil against
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  me, but God meant it for good. Notice what Joseph
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  did not say. He did not say, what you did was
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  good. He called it evil. But he also understood
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  something greater. Their intention did not determine
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  his ending. That is freedom. When you can acknowledge
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  what happened without allowing what happened
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  to become the final interpretation of your life.
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  They may have meant harm, but they do not own
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  the conclusion. Don't give your enemies too much
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  credit. Sometimes we talk more about what enemies
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  are doing than what God is doing. The enemy blocked
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  me. The enemy attacked me. The enemy delayed
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  me. The enemy sent this person. The enemy closed
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  this door. And eventually our theology makes
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  the enemy sound almost sovereign. He isn't. Joseph's
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  brothers had intentions. Potiphar's wife had
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  intentions. The cup bearer had failures. But
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  above all of those human decisions stood the
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  providence of God. This doesn't mean God approved
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  their actions. It means their actions were incapable
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  of overthrowing his redemptive purpose. That
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  is a very different kind of confidence. Maybe
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  you don't understand their role yet. Some relationships
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  only make sense later. Joseph could not fully
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  interpret his brother from inside the pit. He
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  could not fully interpret Potiphar's house from
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  inside the prison. He could not fully interpret
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  the cupbearer's forgetfulness during those additional
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  years of waiting. But eventually, perspective
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  changed, and maybe there are people in your story
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  you cannot interpret yet. Don't rush. Don't make
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  permanent theological conclusions from temporary
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  pain. You may not know yet what God is producing.
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  You may not know what this relationship is teaching
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  you. You may not know what boundary is being
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  developed. You may not know what prayer life
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  is being born. You may not know what discernment
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  is being sharpened. You may not know what future
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  person will benefit from what you are learning
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  today. You are still inside the chapter. This
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  principle remains true. God uses people, but
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  God remains the source. So appreciate the people
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  who bless you. Honor the people who support you.
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  Listen to wise correction. Forgive those who
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  hurt you. establish boundaries where necessary,
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  release relationships whose seasons have ended,
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  learn from difficult people, and remain open
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  to the new people God may bring into your life.
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  But never confuse the instrument with the source.
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  People can help you. God is your source. People
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  can encourage you. God is your source. People
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  can open doors. God is your source. People can
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  recommend you God is your source People can forget
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  you God is still your source People can walk
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  away God is still your source People can misunderstand
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  you God is still your source People can even
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  intentionally oppose you God remains your source
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  You have been refined through relationships Maybe
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  some of the greatest refining fires of your life
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  came through people. They exposed your impatience.
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  They exposed your need for approval. They exposed
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  your anger. They exposed your fear of rejection.
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  They exposed your inability to establish boundaries.
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  They exposed your tendency to retaliate. But
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  perhaps God is using those experiences to produce
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  something different now. wisdom, discernment,
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  boundaries, forgiveness, patience, humility,
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  compassion, dependence upon Him. You cannot always
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  choose who enters the story. But by the grace
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  of God, you can choose what the experience produces
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  in you. So don't waste the relationship. Don't
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  waste the disappointment. Don't waste the correction.
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  Don't waste the encouragement. Don't waste the
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  betrayal. Don't waste the support. Don't waste
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  the lesson. Bring all of it before God and ask,
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  God, what are you teaching me through this? Because
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  some people will bless you. Some will correct
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  you. Some will challenge you. Some will make
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  you pray. Some will teach you boundaries. Some
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  will introduce you to another room. Some will
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  stay. Some will leave. but none of them possess
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  final authority over your purpose. God does.
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  And when your life is surrendered to Him, He
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  is able to take even the relationships you did
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  not understand and weave their lessons into the
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  person you are becoming. You are learning. You
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  are discerning. You are forgiving. You are establishing
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  boundaries. You are becoming wiser about access.
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  You are becoming less dependent upon human approval.
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  You are becoming more dependent upon God. You
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  are being refined for a purpose. This is Pomoja
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  Ministry. And in our next conversation, we will
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  discover that sometimes God does not only use
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  people to move us. Sometimes he uses discomfort.
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  Because there are places we would remain forever
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  if staying there continued to feel comfortable.