Latest / The Doodle Pro®: Positive Dog Training for Calm Doodles / How to Prepare Your Dog for a New Baby: A Trainer's Twins Story (Part 1) | The Doodle Pro®

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How to Prepare Your Dog for a New Baby: A Trainer's Twins Story (Part 1) | The Doodle Pro® · The Doodle Pro®: Positive Dog Training for Calm Doodles

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: If you are raising a doodle and a little human under the same roof, or you just found out one is on the way, this episode is for you.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_01: And hang on.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: Because even if there's no baby in your future, this one is still for you.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: Grandkids coming for the weekend, your niece and nephew who beat your doodle like a jungle gym, the neighborhood kid who spots you on a walk and yells from halfway down the block.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: Can I pet your dog?
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: Kids are everywhere in a doodle's life.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: So this conversation is about every one of those moments.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: My guest is Dominica from Dog Meets Baby.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: She's a certified trainer who has spent years preparing families and their dogs for life with little ones.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: And she has a story of her own.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: Eight years into her career, with a dog every trainer friends swore would not hurt a fly, she brought home newborn twins to.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: What happened in the first few seconds is why dog meets baby exists.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: In part one, we get into what actually changes for your doodle when the family's attention shifts and why the behaviors that were adorable at year five suddenly felt like too much.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: We cover the guilt, no one says out loud, and exactly when to start preparing.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: And then Dominica busts the myths every doodle parent has heard, including the one the hospital still hands out.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: I've been telling doodle parents for years that a velcro doodle is not a problem to fix, it's a feature to plan around.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: And Dominica says the same thing from the nursery side of the gate.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: And she has the case files to back it up.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a proud affiliate of Dog Meets Baby.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: If you want her courses and her complimentary prep checklist, the link is the doodlepro.com slash dogmeets baby.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: That's also in the show notes.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Karin Kierhart, and this is the Doodle Pro Podcast.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome, Doodle Pro Nation.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: Let's jump in.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: Dominica, can you take me back to the moment with Lola, your pup, and your newborn twins?
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_01: What happened and what went through your mind as a certified trainer watching your own dog?
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's easy for me now to go back, but there was a when it was really hard.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: What happened?
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: My kids, my twins were in the crib, and the dog walker brought Lola home.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: And mine was Lola is going to be super excited to meet my kids.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: We just opened the door.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: We she was to see us, of course.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: And then we let her off leash.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: We lived in one bedroom at that time.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: So we had a lot of and so the hallway was pretty much the living room.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: And and that's when the kids, one of them made a sound that's remembered her, the pop-up, laser focus, and just going after.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: They were in the crib and she didn't the crib this time.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Try it later.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: But I remember it was seconds, right?
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: One second, probably, not even more.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: I just remember thinking to myself, this is not happening, but it was it was just so scary.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't believe it.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: Even after it happened, I was like, what's going on?
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, we removed her.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: I still was shocked, but and they had one of the kids on the changing table when she lunched.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: And it was after a C-section.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I had to grab her, risking, you know, your recovery.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, risking my recovery, but I literally had to protect my child.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, and I just dragged her, not dragged her, but walked her to the bathroom, and I called my husband.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: And this is when I realized that it's really serious, serious, that that she's really hunting for them.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: And she's this is not just getting to know a newborn.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: She was hunting.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: It was the same body language that you see in dogs that are hunting.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: And you were a certified dog trainer already.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: And so you knew.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: Eight years?
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: No, I knew I was, and it I she has a high prey drive.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: She had she died last year, and I worked with dogs with high prey drive, and I've seen them.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't it was nothing new.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's I just didn't, I never expected her to have this reaction because I have had her around children many times.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: She has never been around newborns, but that's something five-year-old, five-day old, excuse me, five, five-day old early term twins, right?
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Just to add this, they were really tiny.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so it, of course, she has never been around children that small.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: She has been around infants, she has been around toddlers many times.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: Amazing, great, very gentle, very gentle, almost a little bit very polite, very tolerant, very shy.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: Not that I was letting the children do anything to her, but I never suspected her to have this reaction to newborns.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: No one did.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Because when I told later, all my friends, my right, your trainer friends, yeah.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: My trainer friends who knew her, they said, What?
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Lola?
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: She wouldn't have fly.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: That was Lola's reputation.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: She wouldn't.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, luckily it all ended well and I knew what to do.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not going to go into details because it's what like there is just a lot that goes into it.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: I think the most important part was that she was very well prepared and I could build on that.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: So it wasn't that I had to start from scratch because the moment it happened, it was nighttime or evening.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: Had to separate her.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: And then we she went back to the dog walker until I figured out like I had to, I needed some time to think about it.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: And you just had twins.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: And exactly.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: And my and when my son was in the NICU for five days, it was a very stressful time.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: So it was just like it was like nothing like that that week was really stressful.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Because it didn't go as planned.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: It was was a C-section was also happened out of nowhere, right?
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: So it was a lot of those things where I was not in the best emotional state back then.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: And on top of that, this is what happened.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: But then I she was fine very quickly with all the training and management.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't trust her for three months.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't see her body language.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't trust her.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: And you, as a certified dog trainer with this pup, who everyone, even other trainers, said wouldn't hurt a fly, had this experience.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: And now this is your work.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: You founded dog meets baby, and you help families before the baby comes, which is ideal, before you're exhausted with possibly C-section, etc.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: And after.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, that's right.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm curious, was Lola your guy's like first baby?
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: She was.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: She was not, she was my first dog, like my adult, like in my adult life.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: She was absolutely my my first baby, my fur baby.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: I hear that, and you might as well from so many doodle parents that their dog and their doodle is their first baby.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: I'm curious what actually happens inside of that dog when the family's attention shifts.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's no, I think, but I know.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: So it a lot of time it starts with the dog, even if you do everything right and pre dog and practice and train, when you bring the baby home, there is a time of adjustment.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's very normal that dogs will whine or bark or be curious.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: That is expected because a real, like almost no one has a chance to practice with a real newborn.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: This is new.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: And typically, after sometimes it's after a few days, sometimes it's after a week, but usually by month two, most dogs are very used to the baby.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: They baby is just it's not like the baby is the most exciting thing.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: The baby's there and cries and eats, and that's it, right?
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: And sleep to a dog.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: And then but and then many people reach out to me, many parents, and they say, My dog is acting out since I brought the baby home.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: He or she is fine with the baby, doesn't seem to notice the baby much, but now it barks at everyone.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: The counter surfing has resurfaced.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: A number of issues that people will call the dog is acting out.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so here is what happens the a lot of times this is the reaction to the change, and the baby is, of course, part of the change, but it's the change of the routine that really that the dogs struggle with.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: And they struggle more if you never prepare them for that.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: So let's say, and it's very easy to cuddle with your dog, yeah, when you're pregnant, right?
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: And many dogs are very cuddly when you're pregnant, so you just sit on that couch together, they're on your lap, yeah, they're on your lap, and it's just so nice, and it's and everybody loves it.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: The baby comes and then you're cluster feeding, and the baby sleeps on you, right?
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're nap trapped, and you have the baby on you, let's say for 10 hours, and you cannot handle another being girl, you just can't, like you need a break too, right?
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: And that's when your dog struggles with it because my lap, that's my mommy, yeah.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: And this is the time when we typically used to play fetch, or we this is how this is when we used to do certain certain things together, and that's when dogs really struggle with it.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not going to say that you have you can prepare for all the changes because like I wasn't, I didn't know that I will have a medical baby, right?
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: This is something that didn't even cross my mind, and then I'm going to need so much time for PT.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just there are certain things that you're a mom too, right?
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's really impossible to prepare for everything.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: But there is definitely things that you can do to prepare your dog so the change of routine is not so stressful.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: And things that used to work, like nudging us with their nose or a little paw, might have gotten some engagement or play or belly scratches, and those little tricks aren't working anymore when you've got the boppy pillow around your waist and you're nursing or bottle feeding.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_01: And so then they gotta kind of try new things, which might look like acting out, I imagine.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: Is jealousy the right word for what dogs are feeling?
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: What does the science say about this?
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: I do use it with parents.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's it's like in my posts, Instagram posts.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: I occasionally use it.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: But I would say the what you mentioned, right?
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like the dog paws, or like I have this, I had this doodle, Pisco Sour, Pisco Sour was his name.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: And he he stayed with me for board and train, and he was preparing for a baby, and all his behaviors when I was not giving him attention was it started as this like very funny, whiny.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: We you're adorable, right?
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: You you almost want to laugh because it's so cute, and then he would put your paw, put a paw up, and then he would nudge you, or like just to get a little bit closer, right?
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: So it's these are all very, very cute behaviors, and then even when I was training, let's say I was holding a doll, I was doing the training with a doll.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: Beautiful, yeah.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: He was escalating to bite to barking and mouthing.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: His big thing was mouthing.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: So he and this, these were the things that we had to work through.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, what he was communicating, he was communicating what was demanding attention and frustration, not getting it.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: So to me, this would be like more of that than jealousy, but I all I don't quite focus on labels with people.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: To me, this is more like as long as you don't label it like that, it's very confusing.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: It is I always ask my clients when they say something, my dog is guarding, or my dog is jealous.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: I always ask them, what does this look like?
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because what I really want to know is what does it mean to you that the dog is jealous or guarding?
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's not the same to everyone, right?
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: That's the behaviorist in you exactly.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so I focus much more on what is actually doing, and and that you label as this and this, and then we can work on this because yes, many people will say as soon as I'm on the floor with the baby, the dog is jealous and tries to take the baby's spot, or puts his body on the activity mat, or tries to sit in my lap, right?
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: So that's the behavior that we want to address.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: So this is something that when we have time to prepare, it's better because then we can teach the dog.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, good things happen when you're on your dog bed because that's when I give you attention and that's when I will give you treats.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: Not so much when you're trying to be on top of the baby.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's not really safe, and we're not going to do this.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: So it's so much easier to do it before, and but you can also do it later.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: Right now, I'm working with several families who have newborns.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: Some the dogs have a very hard time with the newborn or head because we're in a much better spot, and and somewhere the dog is thriving because I really want to have a course for people who can so they can get some help in with their newborn.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: Because I do know that sometimes you just didn't think that something that your dog is going to struggle, and you lived that and you get it, yeah.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, let's talk about the feeling that nobody admits usually out loud resentment towards the dog after the baby arrives, like the guilt, the snapping at the dog.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_01: What do you tell parents that are just getting that during the exhaustion of bringing home a newborn anyway?
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it can happen.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I would say if I have to the a lot of times, if this is your fur baby or it's your first baby, like many, like Lola was my fur bur baby, or Pisco Sour the Doodle was that family's first baby.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: You it's a big change for you too.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: And you struggle a lot with the fact that now you cannot go to a class that let's say agility class or nose work class that you really love doing with your dog, yeah, or that you just don't have time for the activities that actually brought you a lot of joy, but now you can't do it, right?
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: For because you have a baby, you are just so tired, and that that can start that resentment.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes if you combine it with those cute behaviors that Pisco was doing that I was laughing at, right?
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like this is something that oh, that's so adorable.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: I love when he does it.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: But then when you have that sensory overload, because you have a colicky baby that cried for six hours non-stop, and then your dog now starts vocalizing, he that's enough.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: So suddenly the behaviors that were cute, your dog was always doing them, and you either ignore them or that you were laughing at them, they didn't bother you.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: Suddenly it starts bothering you, or the poeing, because if a dog palls at a baby, that's a big scratch, and that's when you're oh, you cannot pull, no, no more poeing, right?
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like this is that suddenly poeing is on limits.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like poeing was allowed for five years.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: No, poeing, we hate poeing, and so that's when you start, you either feel can feel guilty because you don't have time for your dog and time for the fun activities, or that can be resentment.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of times, and I'm not talking about the dogs that are aggressive towards the baby, right?
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: This this is different.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: If this is serious, then that this is different.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm talking about the dogs that they basically do what they used to do.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, nothing has changed, but now it is too much for you, and that's that leads to a lot of resentment.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: And it's it's something that I struggled more with grief, to be honest.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: Not so much, I struggle more with grief and guilt, not so much resentment.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: So, actually, this one I did it wasn't actually not my story, but I worked with many families who have mentioned that, and I think it's it's just giving yourself grace that I work with as with a therapist and just understanding that things have changed for you too, and things can still be great, even if they're different.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: I struggled a lot with not doing nose work with Lola.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: I felt like I deprived her of that grade, she was amazing at that, and I loved that, and I couldn't.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: I was I just had to choose myself because I was already not in a good spot, and I knew that if I spend this two hours a week doing nose work, that it actually is long term, I can't I won't be able to do it because I you're in survival mode.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: I was in survival mode, I was in a complete survival mode with the medic, with the medical, one of the medical, one of my kids was a medical twin.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: So it was just not something that I could do back then, yeah.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I really struggled with that guilt, but yeah, it was just working through this and realizing that Lola was actually very happy when my kids were dropping food and she was still playing ghostwork, she was still doing ghostwork, it looked a little bit different, but it took me a while to realize that she actually was really happy.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: She was still happy, she was still loved, but I did struggle with it a lot.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: It just doesn't look like it did before the kiddos, yeah.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I you mentioned working with the doodle.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_01: In my experience, doodles are often pretty velcro dogs, they're sensitive and overstimulated very easily.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_01: Does that make the transition harder for them than some other breeds?
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: I would say so.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, but it's it could be if you don't prepare them.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: But if a velcro dog, the beauty of a velcro dog, because it's like everything has there, it's not that it's all bad.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: The beauty of a Velcro dog is that I always tell parents don't leave the dog alone with the newborn.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: And many little parents tell me, Oh, I don't have to worry about this.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: As soon as I go, I leave the rope, the dog they're gonna follow me, they're gonna follow me.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: So that's amazing, right?
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: You don't even have to train them, you don't have to say, Come, your dog just follows you everywhere.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's true.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: And that is so easy, right?
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's just you don't have you, it's built-in, like it's a built-in feature, and it's amazing, it makes your life so much easier.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: Now, it is a little bit harder once your baby is mobile and and starts crawling, and at the same time, they're too young to explain, do not pull pull the dog's tail, don't grab the ears, right?
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: This is the the tricky time.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: The dog is probably not going to love it, and with doodles, there's a lot of grooming, and some of them, if you don't prepare them well, they might be a little bit sensitive about touching their paws, right?
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: Or just touching them.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so you really like with kids that that they will notice that kids might when the kids grab their paws, right?
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: If they are barely tolerant when someone else does it.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: So you so this is what I would focus on when you prepare your dog on that semi-separation, yeah, where you teach them that it's okay that sometimes you can be on the other side of the gate, or I'm going to sit in the playpen with the baby, or yeah, just whether you want to crate train or not, just something where your dog doesn't have a meltdown when they have to be away from you.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_01: If someone is watching or listening and they're just found out they're expecting, and so we're not trying to fix something yet.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: We're in preparing mode and they're still getting a decent amount of sleep.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_01: What do you advise as to when prep should begin?
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_01: What does the timeline look like from that positive test to due date?
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_00: Great question.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: First trimester, I honestly, if someone told me you have to start training, I would have said no.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: I had zero energy, so I always tell parents, let's wait until the second trimester energy kicks in.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: I felt the same with both.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: So just don't you'll be okay.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: That's enough time.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: And what I would start with the training that requires time, and that's for many people that could be for total parents.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: That would if you have a velcro dog, that could be the semi-separation training where you teach your dog being comfortable being on the other side of the gate.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: So let's say you're going to install the gate to the nursery, and you will be spending a little time, five minutes a day there.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_00: You'll be working on the nursery anyway.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: So you can just start, you can just sit on your phone there if you want to.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_00: And your dog on the other side.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: So making it a habit so it's part of the routine.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: So your dog is used to it, and then extending the time.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, they can always get a treat or a chew when you go inside the nursery.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: They can see you.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: There is a cake.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: So just starting very easy.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: Your dog barely notices at first that you're gone because they have something amazing, but they just get used to it, right?
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: So this is something that I would recommend doing if you have a if you have a velcro dog.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: The other one is sleep arrangements, and that's something that many parents they they feel very strongly about about sleeping with the dog, whether they don't they want to sleep with the dog or they don't want to change anything.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: So this is what's important.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_00: If you're asleep, you're not supervising.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: And if your dog is in your bed at night and your baby will be, let's say you decide to co-sleep.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you may decide when the baby is here, or your baby is dead.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_00: It can change after.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: It can change after very much.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: Or you have a co-sleeper, right?
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like why is it attached to your bed?
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: It does attach to your bed, right?
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_00: Many people have that instead of a bassinet.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_00: And that basically your dog has access, full access to the baby.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_00: This is just not safe.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't with newborns, I don't I do not recommend having the dog in your bed with your newborn because that this is a recipe for disaster.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to share scary stories here, but I have many that I could share.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: But basically, this is something that takes time for some dogs, but it also takes time for parents to mentally prepare.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_00: Many parents share with me that once they did it, they were actually very surprised and almost offended that the dog was successful outside of their body.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: The dog never looked back.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: I think part of it is that once you're pregnant, you know why?
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_00: I feel I'm pretty sure that this part of it is the mom is pregnant.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: You wake up a lot at night, right?
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: You're uncomfortable, you pee five times a day, five times a night.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_00: Your dog is not getting the same quality of sleep.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: So once you decide to move them somewhere else, they actually don't want to come back because they finally can sleep.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's so funny.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_00: So I really think that it and some parents even told me my dog actually, before I did it, they moved out.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: And the partner's like, can I do the same?
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so it is, it's not something the majority of people told me that it was much easier on the dog than on the dog.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying that all dogs are going to love that, but it's it is doable, right?
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's just it's not something that even if it feels impossible, it is possible.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_00: And this is the one thing that I do recommend doing.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that when you're pregnant, you're not thinking about toddlers can climb out of crypts and come to your bed at night and then startle the dog or fall on the dog, and that's unfortunately this is this is a common scenario with young toddlers and dogs at night, not safe.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_01: That's really smart, even if you're not planning the child being attached to your bed or in your start.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: So you may need it later.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: So this is something that you can always bring your dog to the bed later at some point.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's easy.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: This part is not difficult.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: That the hard part is changing this the sleep arrangements, and this is something that I recommend doing earlier.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: And there are many ways you can do it.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: You can still have the dog in the bedroom.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: Some people put a gate to their closet and they make it super cozy.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_00: I had a family that I worked with privately where they decided to have an exercise pen and they made this glamorous, sleepy, like they had mattresses and comforters.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: It looked like yes, this is their first baby.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was two dogs, they got their own bedroom, they loved it.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: The dogs loved it, and so that you can do you can, it's not just one option, but yes, it this is something that I would recommend addressing sooner.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: Another one is the car arrangements for some people.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: You need to if your dog is going to be with the baby in the car a lot, then we need to have a plan here.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_00: So your dog is not loose, loose dogs are projectiles and loose dogs with the baby in the back of the in the same seat, also not safe.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_01: You're bringing up things I didn't even think of, like securing your dog in the car differently.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_01: And even if you're not planning on your baby ever sleeping in your bed or attached to your bed, as you get toddlers that, as you described, like climb in in the middle of the night.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know about you, but my boys sometimes I'd have a foot in the face, wake up in the middle of the night, they're all wiggly.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_01: And that kind of startling of a dog sleeping on the foot of your bed or kicking, really or kicking, that could be really unsafe.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_01: So even if nope, we're not gonna do that.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_01: But if you got a sick kiddo, the both of you are exhausted, that kind of planning ahead where you can move the dog before you're exhausted and kids throwing up or whatever, that's really brilliant.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so these are the things that I would do ahead of.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_00: I would start working on them in the second trimester.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, great.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_00: But I want to say one thing is that the many people see the due date as the deadline.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: This my dog has to be trained by due date.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, you still you have time later too, and a lot of times the newborn stage, this is when you can still certain things it's good to do and be prepared, and we fit the training, right?
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_00: But there are many things that you can practice later.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't want anyone to feel like separation anxiety.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_00: That would be the one if you start working with a trainer, don't feel that you need to finish the training by your due date.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: No, you can continue later.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times, uh, when I I remember when I interviewed a trainer who works specialized in separation anxiety, she actually said maternity leave, if you're lucky to have one, that's a great time to work on that.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_01: That's true.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_01: That's yes, it's very true, because you're not going to be going out very much for a while.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_00: And you can you can somehow play plan the training around outing or the length of the outing.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_00: So this is it's many things are doable, or you can still reward your dog for staying on the dog bed while you hold your newborn.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of those things can be done later.
• 30:07
  unknown: Yes.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not that you need to finish the training by the due date.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_01: That's brilliant.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_01: And as your child grows, they're going to be bringing in new challenges for your pups of walking around eating a snack and grabbing their stuffies.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_01: But before we get into some of the how-to's, yeah, I want to bust some myths that every doodle parent has heard.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_01: Are you ready?
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_01: First one that is the advice even the hospital gives often bring the baby blanket home from the hospital so the dog can sniff it and know the baby.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_01: True or false?
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_01: False.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because one exposure to a blanket that carries so many different scents, it's not just one.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_00: There are hospital scents, every person who touches.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_00: There are many novel scents on this blanket.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's not going to this is not going to make any difference.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I have a real actually.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_00: This happened to a client of mine.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_00: She brought, I don't know if it was a blanker or a onesie to her two laps.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_00: Guess what they did with it?
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_00: They thought it was that.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: Guess what she did?
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_00: She texted me like in tears, panicking.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_00: I think this, what if they do it to my child?
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's what that's what she was.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_00: She was like, Are you sure they're not going to grab my child and play tug of work?
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, yes, yes, it's going to be okay.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_00: And we're going to have a plan of how we're going to introduce the baby.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_00: But but this your dog grabbed this blanket because you presented it like a toy.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_01: If I were to take a dish towel and hand it to any of the dogs I work with, yes, we're gonna thrash it, chew on it, and what are we doing?
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then you probably will say, Sniff it, or this is the baby, and you're using using your toy, your toy voice, and may and maybe you even moved it a little bit in front of them.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, the dog is going to grab it.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_00: So this is it's this I don't know where this came from, but it's everywhere.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_00: Trainers, I know trainers who recommend this still.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but if this is not a bad uh advice if you have a child in the NICU, or if your child is home but your dog is staying with the family.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_00: I do, I always tell parents if you feel if you have a good arrangement and you need some time as a new mom, new dad, of course, nothing.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_01: I've taken a bunch of doodles during that transition.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_00: Take your time, it's it's going to be fine.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_00: And this is a good time to give whoever watches the dog to give them baby items with fresh scents.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, this is the time.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_00: Or if your dog is in the NICU and you can repeat it many times, but one exposure, and this one was actually very hard on parents during COVID because once you were in the hospital, you couldn't leave it.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_00: And the parents were the parents were messaging me so stressed about this because they were like, What am I going to do now?
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_00: I cannot take an item to bring the dog because once you're here, you cannot leave.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_00: Your dog is still going to, they don't need this.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_00: They if it's if it makes you feel better, you can absolutely do it, but let's not say that this is a step that prepared your dog for the baby.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because I don't want people to ever see this as a guarantee that oh well.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_00: I did the blanket, yes, exactly.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_00: So that the the this myth is harmless, but not if people rely on it.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_01: So another one for you.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_01: When you walk in the door, put the newborn down in the car seat and let your dog come sniff to meet them.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you stiffen up to meet this is an equivalent of I don't want to go there, but okay, let's think if I did this, let's just think for a second.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_00: If I did this, I don't know if I with Lola, I don't know if I would be here talking to you, right?
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's where I that's where my yeah my mind goes because and I have clients who filmed that situation because expecting it will go well, and unfortunately, they filmed a bite.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_00: It it can happen.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying it's gonna we're not going to share it on social media.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I can guarantee you no one is going to post this is how what my dog did to to my newborn.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_00: No, they're not going to share it, they will share it with a trainer, or that dog will be rehomed there, right?
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's how it's going to end.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not something that people will voluntarily share and warn others.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_00: No, people rarely do it because you can you will it's actually really brave because then people will criticize you probably for doing this, right?
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_00: Will call you stupid and so on.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_00: So people don't want to do it, and I understand, but if you do it this way, you're trusting an animal with instincts to do the right thing in a situation they have never been in, yeah.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not safe, it's just not, and you're trusting your more most precious possession, right?
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not, I don't want to call the child vulnerable and a most vulnerable being, yeah, and you're trusting your dog, and yeah, I wouldn't.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_01: And it's the same when you're discussing people don't share the failures of that plan when you see a newborn placed against a dog laying down, like kind of propping their two babies together, or the toddler like hugging the dog.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_01: We don't see, you know, people don't share the snaps and the scary moments.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_01: So just because you're seeing what looks like success over and over on social media, just remembering that, I think that's an excellent point.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_01: Is there another myth that you wish would disappear forever?
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_00: I think that the one where there is there is this, how should I say it?
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_00: People people believe there was this belief that dogs are naturally great with little children.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to left because to me this is just so crazy.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_00: Expectation that that dogs should put up with kids doing stuff to them, they should be very tolerant with that kids climbing on them, riding them, holding their fur, grabbing tails.
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times we're talking about dogs who have known issues with a lot of things.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_00: And they wouldn't tolerate, and sometimes it's a dog that doesn't like when strangers pet him or her, right?
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_00: They just don't like being touched by anyone.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_00: And still, parents sometimes believe that the dogs, a lot of times it's, I would say it's the older generation.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_00: There is this survival, survival, I think it's called survivor bias, where oh, you were fine.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_00: Let's say the mom tells the new mom, oh, you were fine, you were always eating together with the dog.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_00: I never had a gate.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_00: You were all you were even though the dog was probably in the backyard.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_00: Who knows?
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe the dog, and I was at a conference in April, and I was actually really surprised.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_00: So every time I shared that I was a dog trainer, people, adult women were sharing stories from their childhood, but bite stories, so many.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I was actually very surprised because it's it was a big conference, and I talked to many people, and that it just seemed like every single person had, or almost every single person I talked to had a story to share about their dog biting them, their family dog, as a child, yeah, yeah.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_00: Which tells me that those the the stories were oh, you were fine, nothing happened.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, maybe they don't remember that the dog actually bit their child.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_01: I yeah, that's it's and maybe our standards have changed, but I hope in a good way, where there are safer ways.
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_01: And if I think of holding my four or six-month-olds, think of when you hold somebody else's baby, how they grab your hair on their little sticky fists, yeah, or you can't wear earrings because those are gonna go, and they're strong, they're kids are strong, yes, and if that if your whole body is covered with hair like that, those little fists grabbing and pulling, and just I like to think about and put myself in their shoes, that feels pretty darn uncomfortable.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yes, I agree that dogs should just tolerate toddlers climbing all over them is a myth that should go.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_01: So let's dive into some how-tos.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_01: If we can talk about walking through that first meeting, where's the dog?
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_01: Where's the baby?
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_01: Who does what?
• 39:23
  SPEAKER_01: What do you advise?
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_01: That question I just asked.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_01: Where is the dog?
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_01: Where's the baby?
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_01: Who does what?
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_01: Is where part two picks up.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_01: Domenica walks through the first meeting step by step and why jumping is the number one reason families tell her they're considering rehoming and why it's completely fixable.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_01: She talks about what changes the day a baby starts crawling and the lick that's not a kiss and how to tell the difference.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_01: And she shares the bubble trick that works on a two-year-old when don't touch the dog never does.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_01: Now, here's the thread that runs through this whole conversation.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_01: Dominica keeps coming back to one skill, a doodle who can safely park it on a dog bed on the other side of a gate while the baby's on your lap.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_01: And you guys, this is not just a baby skill.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_01: It's the same skill when the grandkids pile through the front door.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_01: It's the same skill when your nephew drops a goldfish cracker on the floor.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_01: And it's the same skill when the neighborhood kid comes running up on your walk asking to pet your doodle.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_01: And you want four paws calmly on the ground while you decide.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's a taught skill, not a personality trait.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_01: If you heard this and thought, I can't do that yet, that's exactly what the settled doodle is.
• 40:47
  SPEAKER_01: No live calls, no schedule, five minutes at a time at your doodle's pace.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_01: There are 15 short task sets, and you always know when you're done with one.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_01: It's waiting for you at the doodlepro.com/slash settled doodle.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_01: Part two is next.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_01: Until then, give a belly rub to your doodle for me.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_01: This is the Doodle Pro Podcast, where we celebrate how doodles are different.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_01: Wonderfully so.