Latest / Arise Women of God / Why is Motherhood So Exhausting?

Transcript

Why is Motherhood So Exhausting? · Arise Women of God

• 0:00
  Why is Motherhood so exhausting?
• 0:04
  Have you ever sat down at your computer to do one simple basic task like pay a utility bill, reply to an email, and within four minutes you've been interrupted to find a missing soccer shoe, wipe peanut butter off
• 0:18
  the counter, mediate an argument, and answer whether or not horses have eyebrows.
• 0:24
  Oh.
• 0:25
  By 8pm you haven't run a marathon or climbed a mountain, but your body feels like it has been hit by a freight train.
• 0:34
  You collapse into bed, completely spent, wondering, why am I this exhausted?
• 0:40
  What did I even accomplish today?
• 0:42
  Oh my friend, if you are carrying bone deep fatigue, hear this.
• 0:47
  You are not weak and you are not doing it wrong.
• 0:50
  In this episode, licensed clinical social worker Wendy Christensen and I are pulling back the curtain on the actual neuroscience and spiritual realities behind why motherhood is so uniquely exhausting and what you can do about it right now.
• 1:08
  Stay tuned.
• 1:09
  Ordinary Women Extraordinary Faith When God calls, we say yes.
• 1:19
  Hello and welcome back to the Arise Women of God podcast hosted by Women warriors of Light.
• 1:25
  I'm your host, Tamara K.
• 1:26
  Andersen, and alongside my co founder Wendy Christensen, we help Christian mothers ditch survival mode and anchor their homes in Christ centered peace.
• 1:37
  If you're running on fumes today, let's dig into four reasons why your brain and your body feel so depleted.
• 1:45
  The first reason motherhood drains you is not the physical chores.
• 1:50
  It's what I jokingly call squirrel brain.
• 1:53
  If you've seen the Disney movie Up, you remember the lovable golden retriever Doug.
• 2:00
  He'll be in the middle of an intense conversation and suddenly his head snaps Squirrel.
• 2:07
  Everything stops, his focus shatters, and he has to spend energy figuring out where he was and what he was doing.
• 2:13
  That is a mother's daily reality from dawn until dusk.
• 2:18
  As moms, we pride ourselves on being master multitaskers.
• 2:22
  But neuroscience tells a very different story.
• 2:25
  According to research published by the National Institutes of Health, the human brain physically lacks the neural structure to process two complex cognitive tasks simultaneously.
• 2:39
  What we call multitasking is actually rapid, relentless context switching.
• 2:45
  And every time you switch from paying a bill to finding a shoe to answering a child's question, your prefrontal cortex has to hit the brakes, reset, and refire.
• 2:57
  Studies show that a mother's brain rarely stays in a single cognitive state for more than six minutes at a time.
• 3:05
  Oh my sisters.
• 3:06
  That constant mental gear grinding consumes massive amounts of glucose and neurological energy.
• 3:14
  You aren't just physically tired, your prefrontal cortex is completely fried.
• 3:20
  So there is a reason for it.
• 3:22
  Let's go to point number two.
• 3:23
  The cognitive Fatigue and the physical toll.
• 3:27
  Layered on top of those constant interruptions is the invisible project management of the entire household.
• 3:35
  You aren't just wiping counters.
• 3:37
  You're mentally tracking shirt sizes, grocery shopping lists, dental checkups, emotional ups and downs, as well as school schedules 24 hours a day.
• 3:49
  Listen to how Wendy explains what that cognitive fatigue and unequal distribution do to a mother's physical body.
• 3:58
  You could have.
• 3:58
  Cognitive fatigue could be another part of mom burnout where you're exper.
• 4:02
  You might have brain fog.
• 4:04
  It's hard to keep track of all the to do things.
• 4:06
  A lot of forgetfulness.
• 4:08
  Maybe you're having trouble focusing on things.
• 4:10
  Guilt and resentment.
• 4:11
  You might be harboring some resentment about maybe your partner isn't doing everything that they could be.
• 4:16
  There's some unequal distribution of tasks and then spiraling into that mom guilt for feeling that way, like, oh, I should be doing this, I should be doing that, and I'm not.
• 4:25
  You might also feel some physical symptoms of burnout.
• 4:28
  Could be muscle soreness or tension, maybe sleeplessness, struggling to sleep, a lot of insomnia.
• 4:36
  Another big sign is some stomach issues.
• 4:38
  We carry a lot of our stress in your stomach, in your gut.
• 4:43
  Oh, my friend, if your shoulders are up to your ears because you're so stressed, your stomach is in knots, or you walk into a room and instantly forget why you entered, Recognize those symptoms for what they are.
• 4:57
  Physical warning lights flashing on your dashboard.
• 5:01
  The third major reason motherhood exhausts our souls is what I call the infinite finish line dilemma.
• 5:10
  In almost any other profession, when a project is completed, it stays done.
• 5:15
  You write a report, build a slideshow deck, close an account, and your brain receives this healthy surge of dopamine.
• 5:24
  I finished.
• 5:25
  It's done.
• 5:27
  In motherhood, the finish line vanishes.
• 5:30
  You wash the breakfast dishes, and three hours later, the sink is overflowing with lunch cups.
• 5:36
  You fold three loads of laundry, and before you can even walk down the hallway, a dirty soccer jersey hits the hamper.
• 5:43
  Family caregiving is cyclical, repetitive, and devoid of a traditional finish line.
• 5:50
  Wendy experienced this exact frustration recently in her home with her teenagers.
• 5:55
  We just did a dance, and I had six couples at my house.
• 5:59
  So all day Saturday, I was cleaning my house and getting it ready, and then it's trash in, like, five minutes of all these teenagers being there.
• 6:07
  And it's, like, kind of frustrating to not be, like, I just did all that work for nothing.
• 6:12
  So then while he's at the dance and all the fun things, I'm doing the work.
• 6:17
  And so it.
• 6:18
  It can be frustrating and something that I had to do was recognize it.
• 6:23
  I'm tired, I'm exhausted.
• 6:25
  I'm feeling mom burnout.
• 6:27
  So I'm not one to take it easy, but I watched my favorite movie to relax.
• 6:33
  Oh my friend, spending all day Saturday preparing only to have your hard work wiped out in five minutes is emotionally depleting.
• 6:42
  Can I get an amen?
• 6:45
  Over the years, I have found two practical anchors that help when the endless chores threaten to pull me under.
• 6:53
  First, the gratitude pivot.
• 6:56
  When I'm staring down a sink of full, dirty dishes and feeling completely over it, I pause and try to say, lord, thank you for these dirty dishes because it means my family has food to eat today.
• 7:09
  Thank you for this mountain of laundry because it means my children have clothes.
• 7:14
  And thank you that I have a washing machine to help me do.
• 7:19
  Doesn't eliminate the work, but it lifts your spirit.
• 7:22
  Second tip Habit Pairing when doing those repetitive, mundane tasks, feed your mind.
• 7:28
  Listen to the Scriptures an uplifting faith based podcast or an engaging audio.
• 7:33
  Perhaps you're listening to this podcast doing dishes right now.
• 7:37
  Oh my sisters.
• 7:38
  At the same time, we must be careful not to fall into the trap of frantic martyrdom in Psalm 127:2 Scripture warns us, it is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread
• 7:51
  of sorrows, for so he giveth his beloved sheep.
• 7:56
  Fellow mamas burning the candle at both ends, rising before dawn, going to bed too late and stewing over an unfinished to do list is what the Bible calls eating the bread of sorrows.
• 8:09
  God does not demand that you destroy your body for a spotless kitchen.
• 8:14
  He desires to give his daughters restorative sleep.
• 8:18
  Finally, let's explore the final point, the empty cruise and what I call minute by minute grace.
• 8:24
  If you are running on empty today, let's look at the story of the widow of Zarephath.
• 8:29
  In 1 Kings 17 when the prophet Elijah found her during a brutal famine, she was gathering two sticks to prepare one final meal for herself and her son before facing starvation.
• 8:43
  She was completely at the end of her resources.
• 8:46
  She even told Elijah, I have not a cake, but a handful of meal in a barrel and a little oil in a cruse.
• 8:54
  That is what maternal burnout feels like.
• 8:58
  You're down to your absolute last handful of emotional bandwidth, yet your children still need dinner, comfort and care.
• 9:06
  Please notice how God responded.
• 9:09
  He did not suddenly drop a warehouse full of grain into her backyard.
• 9:13
  Although she would have loved that the miracle was quiet and incremental, the barrel did not waste and the crus of oil did not fail meal by single meal.
• 9:25
  My friends, I have found this to be so true in my own life.
• 9:29
  There have been seasons where day after day I hit a wall of exhaustion, my battery was down to 1% and there was no reprieve in sight.
• 9:37
  In those moments I found myself begging God for an instant supercharge.
• 9:42
  Lord, just boost me to 50%.
• 9:45
  But I found God rarely works that way.
• 9:47
  When we call on him, he gives us grace for the next minute and then the next minute, and then the next minute.
• 9:54
  He gives us just enough power to take the very next faithful step.
• 9:59
  As Isaiah 40:29 30 promises, he giveth power to the faint, and to them that have no might he increases strength.
• 10:09
  Even the youths shall faint and be weary.
• 10:12
  Oh my sisters, Even young strong people faint when they run out of fuel.
• 10:17
  Experiencing fatigue is not a spiritual failure.
• 10:20
  It is the universal human condition that points us back to our Savior and Mama.
• 10:26
  As a special note, please take care of your physical bodies.
• 10:30
  We make sure our kids never miss a pediatric wellness check or a dental appointment.
• 10:36
  But when was the last time you saw your doctor?
• 10:39
  Have you had your iron, thyroid and vitamin levels checked lately?
• 10:44
  Please don't neglect the physical body God gave you.
• 10:48
  Oh my friend.
• 10:49
  As we wrap it up, understanding why you are exhausted is half the battle.
• 10:54
  But you also need practical, step by step tools to stop the cycle and learn to catch your breath.
• 11:00
  That's why Wendy and I created the Mom's Burnout Reset Guide Trading Survival Mode for Christ Centered Peace.
• 11:08
  It's a free booklet designed specifically for the exhausted mother.
• 11:13
  Inside.
• 11:14
  You will get the Mom's not to do audit to help you prayerfully clear out, schedule clutter and drop unrealistic expectations before they break you.
• 11:22
  You'll also find the 92nd anti rage reset.
• 11:26
  Click the link in the description below to grab your free copy today.
• 11:30
  Until next time, please remember you are seen, known and loved by God.
• 11:36
  Lean on him when you are depleted and call on angels to be with you because you are never alone.
• 11:43
  God bless you.
• 11:44
  May you arise, do mothering with Jesus and stand God strong.
• 11:51
  If today's episode helped you feel a little closer to God, please like and subscribe.