Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / Reclaim Your Influence a conversation with Enneagram Four Ronne Rock

Transcript

Reclaim Your Influence a conversation with Enneagram Four Ronne Rock · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_03: And there were three things that I noticed over time that I try to live out now and I encourage other folks to live out.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_03: Number one, every woman to a person, whether she works in the bush of Kenya or she works in Atlanta or wherever, is there is a resolve in their heart.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_03: There is this beautiful, resolute spirit that says, you know, Lord, no matter what, I'm going to stay steadfast.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_03: I'll keep my eyes on you.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_03: I may not know the answers and I may not know any other steps, but today I'm going to stay steadfast.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_03: I am going to remain undaunted.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_03: I know that disappointments are going to come.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_03: I know that I'm going to be disillusioned.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_03: I know that things, there's going to be a crosswind that hits me sometimes because the enemy is a jerk.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_03: And I know that life and things will not go well.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_03: I will not allow those things to become the defining thing in my life.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_04: Hi, my name is Amy Wicks, and I help you navigate the overwhelm and frustration of motherhood through faith, Enneagram, and simple plans.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_04: As a faith-based Enneagram coach, I champion you to love your mothering style because you are the mom your kids need, even when you don't feel like it.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_04: I'm a mountain mama who somehow ended up on a cul-de-sac in the Midwest, overwhelmed and frustrated by motherhood.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_04: But the Lord didn't let me stay there.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_04: He helped me turn the challenges of motherhood into a wholehearted decision to get intentional with my faith, my self-awareness, and my family.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_04: Each episode of this podcast provides perspective through story, wholehearted purpose, and simple plan so you can discover how to love your mothering style and be confident that you are the mom your kids need.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_04: Think of this podcast as your on-the-go mom pal and friend who can't help but talk about Jesus and the Enneagram.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_04: So get to that pile of laundry, or hit the treadmill, or load up the kids in the car for that grocery run.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_04: Get ready to be encouraged and empowered while you listen.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_04: This is the Simply Wholehearted Podcast.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_04: Are you in search of a long road walker?
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_04: If you aren't sure exactly what I mean by this phrase, I'll define it as someone who is willing to walk alongside you in the good and the bad.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_04: Someone who cheers you on when things are going your way, and also offers comforting truth when things get tough.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_04: If you're anything like me, you're always on the hunt for a long road walker.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_04: And I also know that you're gonna love hearing from my new friend Ronnie Rock.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, this is really her name, and I'll let her tell you how she got it.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_04: Ronnie's the real deal.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_04: She's an Enneagram Type 4 storyteller, mentor from a certain generation, and a teacher of scriptural truth.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_04: I can't wait for you to hear this conversation.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_04: Now, before you get started, if you are interested in other episodes that are specific for the Enneagram Type 4, check out episode 171 in my motherhood and Enneagram series, and also episode 106 from the Summer in the Enneagram series back in 2019.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_04: Now, let's get started.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_03: I love that name.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_04: I saw that on the book, and not only was your book cover pretty, but I said saw Ronnie Rock, and I'm like, I need to be friends with her.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_04: Come on.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, um, it's short for Veronica.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_03: I got Ronnie in like eighth grade and it just stuck.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_03: And then and then when I finally met Brad Rock, and he was kind enough to give me an alliterative last name.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_03: That was just awesome.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_04: So especially as a writer, come on.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_03: You know, it's just so cool.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_03: So I live in Texas.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_03: I'm a woman, I am a friend, I'm a sister, I am an orphan.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_03: Both my parents passed away.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm an orphan, I'm a wife and a mom and a Gigi and a convenient lap to a rescue pup.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_03: Folks will say, Oh, you're a writer.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, you know, I don't know.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_03: To even to this day, even as an author, I still say I am a storyteller.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_03: I think that's how God has wired me is to see story and things, bring that story to life to share with others to help us all along the journey.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm a storyteller, I'm a marketer by vocation.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_03: Um so the act of storytelling does come in handy as I absolutely encourage folks to get involved.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_03: I work for a global nonprofit named Orphan Outreach.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_03: We work with kids and families in eight different countries.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_03: And so my work for Orphan Outreach is going to encourage somebody to sponsor a kid or to get their church involved to learn more about orphan care so they can really speak to it and become an advocate, to go on a trip with us, a service trip with us, when we ever get to go back again.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_03: And so those are the kinds of things I do.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_03: I know those are the kinds of things we I do vocal vocationally and provide consulting, that and all that kind of stuff.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_03: But my personal passion is two things.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_03: I love the beauty of story and how stories can change the stories, our stories, right?
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_03: Well-received story can change our stories.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_03: That is storm, that's the gospel is the good news, which changes our lives.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just a long road walker with folks.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_03: Folks ask me if I'm like a teacher or a mentor or those things.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_03: I go, I just uh I want to walk a long road with you.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_03: I kind of feel like your spiritual auntie, like after your mama has told you the rules, we're gonna sit and talk and just how did those things actually play out in your life?
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_03: How do you wrestle with them and things?
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_03: And really love doing that with women of all ages.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_03: I am a woman of a certain age.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_04: Of a very special age.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_03: I've walked several decades.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_04: You have lots of story, and I do.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_03: My playlist is growing long.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_04: That's right.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_04: That's right.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_04: You've got a reference that is worthy to be researched and to listen to because I know that I'm at that middle age, not quite half time.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_04: Thank goodness, I got a few more years, but I am at that age where I know that people want me to sit and walk that long road with them, which I love doing as well.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_04: But I still am hungry for that person to walk that long road because I think many of us women are walking around motherless, either like you, we're physically um they're gone, or they're physically far away, or they're emotionally unavailable, or they're spiritually unavailable.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_04: And so we are hungry, hungry for that.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_03: I have some friends that of a certain age like me, and we have talked about how much we feel that we have let down the women who are younger than us, that somehow, even though we are clearly you read in scripture the importance of us joining hands across generations, joining hands to walk.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_03: Because this life is not a cakewalk, no matter what.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_03: But for some reason, women in my generation, many women, I'm not gonna say all, because there are some great ones out there, but many women in my generation seem to have absolved that responsibility.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_04: Do you think you have any idea why?
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_04: Because I wonder the same thing, because that's what I see in my experience.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_04: Is it careers and being burned out?
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_04: Is it just feeling like they don't have the capacity or the knowledge base?
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_04: What is it?
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_03: I wish I had a perfect answer for you.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_03: I think some of it is career.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_03: We are my particular generation, grew up with the idea that you would have a career.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_03: I laugh.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_03: I say in my prologue that I remember singing a song by a woman in Helen Ready.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_03: I am woman, watch me roar.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_03: I was supposed to be a bootstrapper.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_03: I was supposed to have the career and be able to do it all.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that we perhaps bought into that lie that the only way to be significant would be to do it all.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_03: We have to do it all.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_03: And in doing that, we forgot the beauty of things like slowing down and taking the hand of somebody because a lot of that then feeds, and it I talk about it in my book, the whole idea of purpose, right?
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_03: We think that we've got to have the perfect job and the perfect this and the perfect that.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_03: Well, what we find is that we are then just become so exhausted because we're just scrapping for purpose rather than realizing that our purpose is simple.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_03: It is embracing the fact that our purpose, it's us.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_03: God designed us to just live this life fully and to not get so caught up in trying to find the thing, but in just embracing his gifts, his talents, the place that we are in the season of life that we are.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_03: And so I think that we perhaps got way too caught up in the oh my gosh, we have to do so much in order to seem valuable.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_03: You know, it's that struggle.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_03: You've got on one side it's the girl, boss, babe, gonna do it all.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_03: And you got and then on the other side it's hearth and home, and this is the way it's you know, no, no, no, that's not how a woman is supposed to be.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so we're all caught in that crossfire, even as women, of like, I don't know what I'm supposed to be.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_03: What complementarian versus egalitarian?
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_03: What the heck is that?
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just trying to figure out what to fix for dinner.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just trying to get a hair wash in.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, right, right.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just trying to figure out why are these grays a different texture.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_03: I'm freaking.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_03: Tell me about this.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, come on, what's going on?
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_03: It could be a lot of things.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_03: Some of it is the way we were raised, culturally, the way we were raised, all kinds of stuff.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_03: For whatever reason, though, we dropped the ball, and I'm sorry on behalf of women like me who dropped the ball and are now saying, you know, hey, I got the ball again.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_03: We'll play.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_03: Um, sign me up.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_03: We're here because I watch so many young women who are just starting out in career, just starting out in marriage, just starting out, and they are trying to hold the weight of wisdom that certainly God can give them wisdom.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_03: We're told that the Lord will make us smarter than our teachers and stuff, and that's great.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_03: But I feel like they're being asked to hold the weight of things that they should never have to hold by themselves.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's just so unfair.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_03: And but we do it to ourselves and we do it to each other.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_04: So yeah, no, it's so true.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_04: I would kind of like to then maybe highlight here this is not scripted conversation.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_04: This is unexpected, and I love this.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_04: That's why I love doing the podcast because I'm actually here to just get to learn and then everyone gets to listen in.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_04: I know that you talk about and speak to the Proverbs 31 woman.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_04: And I love talking about that because I have so many thoughts and opinions.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_04: So let's go there for a little bit.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_04: Share your heart, your wisdom, your insight, what we can learn as we read that proverb.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_04: Sure.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_03: First of all, I am no theologian.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just a chick walking a road.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_04: Who reads the word, right?
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_03: I love, yes, who just happens to really adore scripture and loves to read scripture in total, not grabbing one verse.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_03: So important.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_03: Three or four voices, or in the case of Proverbs 31, it's 22 verses that end up on they're on tea towels, it's on big, beautiful paintings on walls, give it to your grandma, it's on your mug.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_03: Say yay, it's on your mug.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_03: It is prayed over women and stuff, and it can become this incredible, invisible checklist, right?
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_03: If you are a lover of Christ and you want to reflect his glory, Proverbs 31 can end up just almost being a chain around you because you it starts to look like a checklist that in order for me to become this woman, that folks are gonna go, oh, we should celebrate her in the streets because she's so cool.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_03: I need to, well, let's see.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_03: She's married and she's got kids, it's not just one kid, she clearly has like a lot of kids, and then she has her own side hustle.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_03: She's an entrepreneur, she is able to get it all done at home, yet she travels for business.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_03: And oh my gosh, she wove her own sheets for her bed.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_03: So by the time you're done, it's like, okay, in order for me to be this godly woman, I need to be married with kids, I need to have an entrepreneurial spirit, I need to be able to care for everybody around me.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_03: I need to be a community leader.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_03: I guess I need to churn some butter and then negotiate a deal at Trader Joe's because that's an important thing.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_03: And then Trader Joe's are just fun.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_03: So very fun, signed up.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_03: But it can end up feeling condemning rather than honoring.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_03: And so again, in this whole thing about I love scripture, but I really love to read the totality of scripture.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_03: And so just in looking at Proverbs 31, which I realized that even just looking at that one chapter, if we were to get real, you'd go, no, you just read the whole thing because it was just one thing.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_03: It wasn't already in chapters and verses and stuff.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_03: But in chapter 31, it is Lemuel, which some folks say was Solomon's pet name, like the way Ronnie is Veronica.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_03: And so, and this is historians and stuff saying, I think it might have even been Solomon just using his pet name, Lemuel.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_03: But it's Lemuel talking about he actually is writing about what his mom taught him.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_03: And he's not writing about what his mom taught him about being a good woman, he's writing about what his mom taught him about the qualities of a beautiful leader.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_04: Wow.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_03: Because at the first, and he's saying these are words, Mama.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_03: Well, and if it was Solomon, then that would have meant that these are the words about Shiva, which so a woman who had tasted things, she had been violated by a king, she had been brought in uh her life was not a perfect life at all.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sure she was shamed and shunned and all kinds of stuff.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_03: And again, those are historians and stuff.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_03: So there's no like, yes, it's absolutely sure not concrete, but hey, a lot of folks spend a lot of time studying this stuff.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_03: So, but she starts by talking about leadership and what qualifies a great leader.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_03: So she starts by telling him, you know what?
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_03: If you want to be a great leader, son, then you need to treat people fairly and you need to care for the poor.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, she is like explicit.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_03: Don't forget, yeah, you care for the poor, you don't show favoritism, you don't try to negotiate shady deals, you take the time to lead well, like a true kingdom leader, and you show wisdom, and then she takes the turn, and then she starts talking about this woman.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_03: What's interesting is if you look throughout Proverbs, you also notice that wisdom is always defined as a she, right?
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_03: Wisdom calls and says, Hey, come here.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_03: And I love that, and that's not to say that chicks that gals are better than guys or whatever, but evidently, if you look, the wisdom qualities of the Lord, for whatever reason, he sees as being more feminine qualities, which are fine because it's which I see like maybe even nurturing, right?
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_04: Like it's a nurturing thing because it's cultivating and that long journey that you talked about because what's sitting, right?
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_03: It's sitting in that space, it's knowing things and then it is living them out wisely.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_03: Then she moves into you want to know what a great woman looks like?
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_03: Check it out.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_03: If you read it, not in a literal, like, okay, I have to go get a side hustle and I have to have a husband, but you start looking at the character qualities of this woman, they are beautiful character qualities of leadership.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_03: It is a person who starts and ends her day preparing for her day.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_03: Those verses in Proverbs 31 are probably one of the strongest um pointers to me of why the whole idea of like starting your day with prayer, a little meditation, some quiet time just to set the day up well.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_03: But it says that she starts her day that way, and then she ends her day also in reflection.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_03: And it's so important to her, right?
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_03: So she starts and ends her day well.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_03: She cares about those around her, her community and her household.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_03: She is wise, she doesn't squander things, she does want to make the most of the day.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_03: She's thoughtful, which I love.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_03: She is a she's a thoughtful person, she puts thought into things, she knows that there are going to be times of great, there's gonna be times of plenty, and there are gonna be times of want.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_03: Also in Proverbs, it talks like an ant strawing up for winter, right?
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_03: That we got a plan and budget.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_03: You got a plan.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_03: So you sit and you go, okay, so chances are she is one that's like, you know what, it's not gonna always be this way.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_03: So let's think through.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_03: Like I said, when I start looking at her under the scope of leadership, yeah.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_03: And the character qualities of what it means to lead well, all of a sudden, the idea of like she has to be married or she can't be a good leader or whatever, those things fade away.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it is more about what's going on in her heart and how she's using her noggin.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_03: And I love those things too, because those then don't shame someone who says, Oh, wait, I don't have kids, therefore my life is not complete.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_03: Sadly, I hear so many women still buy into that, like, well, I'm single, can't have kids.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_03: And they feel that somehow they are not complete without whatever this full meal deal is that we have set up.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you know.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_04: I think that's so important to not see it as a formula, like you said.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_04: And then another piece that has stuck out to me more in recent years is the fact that she clearly delegated.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_04: She worked with community, she did not do it alone, she hired people, you know, she had people working for her and with her.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_04: To me, this even ties in that idea of mentorship and discipleship that we're longing for and hungry for.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_04: Somewhere along the way, we got that message that we have to do it all.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_04: And that is just a lie from the pit of hell because it isolates us, it limits us from walking in the fullness of what we're supposed to do because we can't.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_04: It's just not humanly possible.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_04: And we've come a long way from the eras where it was socially acceptable to hire help for all of the things.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_04: So I would really love to reclaim that again, even if it's delegating to your husband and kids.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_04: Maybe the finances aren't there to hire the other people to help.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_04: But you have community and you have your own family to train up and to delegate and to you know facilitate that partnership.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_04: So so you don't, so that way there is bandwidth and there is margin to do these things of pouring into other people because I think it's so critical.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_03: I totally agree, but we are lauded in this particular country in the United States.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_03: We are lauded for independent spirits, we are lauded for going it on our own and bucking the system.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_03: And we do not celebrate the art of community, and we um shun dependence.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_03: We treat dependence as a curse when if you look throughout scripture, uh dependence is actually a really beautiful quality where fruit is born is I say, I can't go it alone, I need your hand.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_03: And it starts with us trusting God enough to take his hand, right?
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_03: So true.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_03: But then reaching out and saying, I can't go it alone.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_03: I don't have all the answers.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_03: I'm good at this.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_03: I see you're good at that.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_03: Could we maybe do this together and bear each other's burdens?
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_03: Amen.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_03: Could we love each other well and could we love ourselves well enough to?
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_03: Say, I'm not meant to be alone.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_03: God said it in Genesis.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_03: He didn't mean like poor Adam.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_03: God loved it.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_03: You know, he's like, it's no Adam, you're gonna fail.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_03: It was, it is not good for humans to be alone because God knew he lived in community, right?
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, yes, he lived in his own community.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_03: And so for him to say, first of all, I'm gonna create humanity, and that's a joy for me.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_03: Do I need humanity?
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_03: No, but do I delight in the idea of having someone in the image and likeness of me because um that familial love is so cool and it is a part of who I am as creator?
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and then he said, Yeah, and it's not good for you guys to hang out on your own.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_03: He knew that we needed each other.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_03: He knew that again, it goes throughout scripture, yeah, that we need each other.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_03: And it's okay to say we need each other.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that's beautiful.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_04: No, I definitely have it's been it took me till I got to about my mid-30s when I finally realized oh, the goal of my Christian walk isn't independence, it's dependence, which is so counterintuitive because we only know that in our culture, we only know that in our even family of origin, that the goal is to be independent.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_04: And so I think that that was a huge just transformation in my spiritual growth to have that understanding.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_04: And I have to go back to it again and again.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, I'm a complete reminder.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_03: I have to I have to look at the lady in the mirror and ask herself, so what you doing?
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_03: Why do you think you gotta do this on your own?
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_03: That's right.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_03: Ask myself hard questions.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_03: She doesn't always answer, but we're asking them.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_04: Ronnie, our time is going by way too fast.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_04: So I'm gonna jump in here too and make sure that we talk about two things.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_04: And first of all, I'm dying of curiosity to know what Enneagram type you lead as.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_03: It does make sense when I say I'm a long road walker.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_03: And I can sit with you in grief and those kind of things.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_03: Those do not bother me at all.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_03: I live in constant internal angst about all the deep feelings, but uh there is a great war within me because there is, I'm also a high, high achiever.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and so they do some good battle in there.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_03: I I work for an organization, we all got typed.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_03: So it's good and it's funny because you know, it does help a lot.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_03: And knowing that when I'm in health, I'm a pretty organized soul makes my boss, who is a one, makes her feel just great.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, she loves that.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_03: This is this is so good.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, I'm clearly operating in health versus the times that I'm like, somebody tell me you love me.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, Oh, I need to just I need to go tuck away for a minute.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, yes.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_04: Clearly, there is such a difference.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_04: We talk about the difference of living as adopted or with our orphan mindset, and it really reflects in those lines of growth and stress.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm also an assessment junkie, so I really enjoy assessments and I and do I live and die by all any of them?
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely not.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_03: No, because I also know that I am far more creative than any assessment could ever design, which is also my forward topic.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_03: But um so true.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_03: I also strength finders and cure see a lot of them, they just help to provide information about why do you problem solve the way you do, all of those kind of things.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_03: So I think they're fun.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_03: It's fun to get to know just a little bit more about your personality and stuff, and all, of course, under the umbrella of the fact that you are fearfully and wonderfully and amazingly made by a creator who is mysterious.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_03: So you're probably never gonna figure it all out, and that's okay too.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_04: That's right.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, that's a good word, that's a word of wisdom.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_04: Well, the whole reason why I wanted to invite you on was to get to talk about your book.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_04: So give us, if you can, if you kind of um, it's about women who change the world, give us a little synopsis and then maybe three action steps that you can give us that whether we're at home scrubbing toilets with a baby hip, you know, hanging off one hip and at the boob and you know, screaming in the background, women like us, how can we really effectively change the world where we're at?
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_03: It's called One Woman Can Change the World.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_03: And the subtitle pretty much sums it up.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_03: It is reclaiming your God-designed influence and impact, right where you are.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_03: It is a journey with women that I've met around the world.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_03: It's an opportunity for us to examine how we were designed and how God created us.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_03: Everything from the way we speak, the way we see things.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_03: It is reminding us that our purpose is not about a doing, right?
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_03: I've heard folks say, Well, my purpose is to be a mom.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, no, right now your season may be to raise your kids, but is that your only purpose in life?
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely not.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_03: It is an invitation to dive a little deeper into the whys of your creation in asking, allowing God to speak into your spiritual gifts and your personality and all of those things.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_03: Because if he was a God that designed you in his image and likeness, then guess what?
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_03: God has personality and he has emotion and he thinks through things.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_03: And so he clearly understands what's going on in you, and he delights in you.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_03: He does not look at you with a side eye with disgust.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_03: He likes you from the time you are a kid until the time you breathe no more.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_03: The way he has designed you will continue to ebb and flow.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_03: But the beautiful spiritual gifts, the beautiful qualities that he has in your life, those will continue to resonate through vocation, through seasons, through holding that baby or cheering that baby at graduation or crying at their wedding or whatever.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_03: It's a book of encouragement more than anything.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_03: It is not a book of three-step rules or anything, even though I will give you three things.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna give you a spoiler alert.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_03: These are found later in the book that I think are really important.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_03: There you go.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_04: It works for me.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_03: So there are three things that I learned.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_03: And these are women, again, that are in cultures that are far more oppressive than ours that provide a lot less liberty.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_03: Um, opportunity does not exist.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_03: But I kept seeing white, it's like how these women, they are not also caught up in like, oh, I gotta have the perfect job or I have to do this.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_03: They simply were stepping into, they saw a need.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_03: They did not try to ask themselves if they were qualified or if they needed to go take a couple of quick courses.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_03: They just simply is like, that's a need.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_03: I feel this resonating thing happening in me to step into that.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_03: And there were three things that I noticed over time that I try to live out now, and I encourage other folks to live out.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_03: Number one, every woman to a person, whether she works in the bush of Kenya or she works in Atlanta or wherever, is there is a resolve in their heart.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_03: There is this beautiful, resolute spirit that says, you know, Lord, no matter what, I'm gonna stay steadfast.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_03: I'll keep my eyes on you.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_03: I may not know the answers and I may not know any other steps, but today I'm gonna stay steadfast.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_03: I am going to remain undaunted.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_03: I know that disappointments are gonna come.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_03: I know that I'm gonna be disillusioned.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_03: I know that things, there's gonna be a crosswind that hits me sometimes because the enemy is a jerk, and I know that life and things will not go well.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_03: I will not allow those things to become the defining thing in my life.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that's good.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_03: And then I'm gonna let go.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna keep dreams loose in my hands.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna keep relationships loose, knowing, Father, that there are gonna be seasons when I'm close to folks, there are gonna be seasons when somebody may come in my life just for a moment of time.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and I'm not gonna hold this thing that says, Oh, if it doesn't go this way, then it must not be God.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I am gonna give space for him to move freely in my life, trusting that he says he's the author and the perfector, and what he says he's he begins, he's gonna finish.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_03: And so I'm gonna hold it all loosely.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_03: And then these women, they stay small.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_03: Now that's not small like small faith, and that's not small like diminished.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_03: That is they stay focused.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_03: They're not worried about, oh, how can I replicate this thing to make it bigger?
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_03: How can I take this thing and make more of it?
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_03: They're not caught by the pressures that say the only way something is significant is if it's big.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_04: Wow.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_04: Right?
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_03: I talk to writers all the time, women who write and they're like so worried, like, well, I need to be monetized.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_03: I got to get paid for it.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_03: And I go, if you think that the only reason why your words are meaningful is if somebody pays you for them, what you're doing is saying that your words have no worth unless it is defined by somebody else, and that's not true.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_03: Your words have worth because God is speaking through you, maybe to just one person, but He is the master and He is the author.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_03: It's about again, it's staying small, it's not getting stressed with the idea that unless it's big, unless it's loud, it's not worthy.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_03: And then number three is they just fill the space that's been given to them in that day.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_03: They don't try to stress about, oh gosh, you know, oh if I was only over there, I could do more.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_03: If I was only a different age or lived in a different place or had a different degree, they don't look at spaces in other spaces and decide, oh wow, if I had that, then instead they're like, you know what?
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_03: This is my neighborhood, this is the season of my life.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_03: And so I'm just gonna fill this space today.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_03: Wow, with whatever.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_03: And you know what?
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_03: That space today may be filled in prayer, or it may be filled in doing laundry.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_03: That's right, that's right.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_03: And texting a friend, getting a nudge and texting a friend, or it may be one of those days that you're called on to do something that others might define as heroic, but it's just filling the space.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_04: I love that.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_04: I think those are three things that we can take today and apply in our life.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_04: And I know back around Christmas time of 2020, we I had a guest on that did an Anna Green Gables devotional.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_04: The thing that still has struck me from that conversation and even the book and the story of Anne is that there were actually two really critical players in that story that didn't get the headline, that don't get even a main character bill.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_04: And that is Miss Stacy and all of a sudden I'm blinking on her name.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_04: Um, the pastor's wife.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_04: But those two characters were foundational and transformational for Anne's story.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_04: Like if it wasn't for those two women who just took that time and filled the space, right?
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_04: And that they weren't, you know, needing to have this big moment.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_04: They just did what they were called to and faithful to that, they were able to change, you know, and impact a story in a remarkable way.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_04: I just I feel like this conversation really highlights and reminds us that as one woman, we can impact and change the world and we can make a difference right where we're at.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_04: There's nothing better than that because that means we're walking in the purpose that he has called us to.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_03: Bringing it all back to this house that I'm staying in right now.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, I've stepped into the restroom and there are the daughters that lived through their own college now, but they have little stickers on the mirror.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_03: And one of them stickers says, if you could just realize the life that God has for you, you would never be jealous of another.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, and I was like, I'm taking a picture of that one.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_03: You know?
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_04: Amen.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, that's a good word.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_04: Ronnie, thank you so much.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_04: This has been beautiful.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_04: I know my friends are gonna be blessed.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_04: I'm so blessed by it, and I really appreciate your gift and your words today.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_03: Wow, this was very, very fun.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_04: I pray that today's conversation has kindled the flame to make a difference wherever the Lord has called you.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_04: Whether that's scrubbing toilets with the babe on your hip, or hiking through jungles and far-off lands, you are a woman of influence.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_04: For more encouragement and some extra hand holding as you find your footing, be sure and check out Ronnie's Instagram.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_04: And of course, I'm offering my free 15-minute Zoom calls to hear your story and help you determine your next right step.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_04: Next month is going to be full of more goodness, Enneagram goodness on the podcast.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_04: So be sure to follow the Simply Wholehearted Podcast on your favorite listening app and say hi on Instagram.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_04: It's Wholehearted Enneagram on the Gram and Pinterest.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_04: I would love to get to know you.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_04: Remember, you are the mom your kids need.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_04: Continue to pursue perspective, purpose, and plans for the wholehearted life you desire.