Latest / Reality TV Cringe / 148: Vanderpump Rules - How'd You Like Them Apples? (S11 E12)

Transcript

148: Vanderpump Rules - How'd You Like Them Apples? (S11 E12) · Reality TV Cringe

0:09
Hello, and welcome to Reality TV Cringe. I am one of your hosts,
0:15
Delia here with my real tight homegirl and my daughter in law Beatrice.
0:20
How you doing. Hi, everybody, I'm here. I'm queer. Wow,
0:24
let's get into it. I don't think we know you're queer already.
0:26
Oh, I gotta say it for all the new people shouting about it.
0:29
For two years we've been doing we've been doing this podcast for almost year time.
0:32
When did we start the pod? I think it was like September a
0:35
couple of years ago, and we started in your living room. Oh my,
0:39
we were drunk, super booty. It was great, though, I
0:43
know that's how we found a lot of people doing primarily Sister Wives stuff and
0:47
just screaming into the void about Cody Brown. Oh yeah, speaking of which,
0:50
we will get back to that. I know some people have commented and
0:53
asked on Instagram and stuff, when are your brand Sister Wives back? We'll
0:57
bring it back. But we have vander Pump rules. We got value,
1:00
we got seeking, Sister Wife got a lot on our plate. Well,
1:02
but I'm missing it a little bit too. And we talked about it and
1:04
we had said maybe may are you still down for May, after VPR is
1:07
done. VPR is not going to be done girl until like June. I
1:11
think we've got twenty episodes of Vanderpump Rules. What are we on episode twelve?
1:18
Yeah? I think we have a lot more coming. I think we
1:19
had two more months of VPR. Are you trying me? We don't get
1:23
to do anything with their brown family so much, got so many things.
1:30
Anyway, we are intending to bring it back. Yeah, Like she works
1:34
full time. I'm a lady of leisure. Yeah, but she works full
1:38
time. I do we have to work around your janky ass booty ass oh
1:42
ass fuck ass oop schedule. I said I was going to stop sweat.
1:46
She told me before that, She's like, you swear too fucking much.
1:48
You swear, and then here you are swearing up like a sailor. Well,
1:52
I'm gonna try to swear less because we're on YouTube and they're going to
1:56
the monetize us. Okay, whatever, Welcome to the show, everybody.
2:02
Before we get into vander Pump Rules, which we are here to talk about,
2:06
we want to remind you to please hid your wife and Hija Kiya's This
2:09
is a politically incorrect podcast, which means we say bad words. We're gonna
2:15
try and say less, but we say bad words. We have dumb opinions
2:19
that you might not agree with. But if that's okay with you and you're
2:22
not sensely, then welcome to the dumb stu baby. Yeah, welcome,
2:27
and be sure to follow us on Instagram at reality tv Crunch and join us
2:30
on Patreon, Patreon, dot com, sash reality tv Crinch. We got
2:34
so much bonus shit up on there, it's insane and it is the best
2:37
way to support us. If you like the work that we're doing, and
2:39
it is hard work and it's real work, real thank you. Also,
2:44
if you are watching on YouTube, but please don't forget to like and comment
2:49
and share and subscribe. Every little thing you do really does help us in
2:52
the algorithm and it helps us to grow, and that's what we want more
2:55
than anything. Yeah, thank you in advance. Now, before we get
3:00
into VPR, did you happen to see on your Instagram Timeline Honey a new
3:08
commercial from Chili's restaurant. So apparently, Shena Shay and Katie Maloney, wegether.
3:17
We're in a Chili's commercial selling Chili's or Margarita's or something like that,
3:24
yeah, the restaurant, so, which is interesting because of course they've never
3:30
really gotten along necessarily. I think they also cut like separate little promos for
3:38
Chili's, and I think Shena's separate promo on IG got like five thousand likes
3:44
and Katie's got forty fives. And then Brock made an Instagram story in which
3:53
he told everybody, can you please go to Sheena's little promo and like it
3:57
because she's feeling bad about it. That's cringe a f I know, it's
4:03
freaking Chili's. Do you see how sensitive she is? And I also think
4:10
she's very concerned about brand deals and wanting brands to know that she's just as
4:15
liked as Katie Maloney, And so she's having her husband, who I don't
4:19
think does anything unless she tells them to her uh huh. Yeah, she's
4:23
having Brock make IG stories so that people can go and like her promo,
4:28
which just caused people to go to Katie's promo even more and like it.
4:33
So I just feel like that's so delicious. I don't know, I just
4:36
think that's eaten in the dump, dumburber. She is so desperate. Cringe.
4:44
That is really Cringey forty years old and you're fighting over Chili's promo.
4:47
Yeah, and it's like effortless for Katie. Katie's just like what I'm here,
4:51
They love me, but she is trying so hard pick me, pick
4:55
me? Cringe. Yeah, that's amazing. Now I'm gonna have to look
4:59
on the algorithm them later to night. Fine, honey, throw Sheena alike?
5:03
No from reality TV cringe, not my personal account though. All right,
5:13
let's get into this episode. All right, Well, we start this
5:15
episode entitled how do You Like Them Apples? With Rachel Raquel dropping a podcast
5:24
episode. So this is like the theme of the whole episode is everybody at
5:28
various locations talking mad crap about Rachel Raquel's podcast episode. And I guess it
5:33
wasn't like her personal podcast. She was on bet Henny's podcast from a did
5:38
you say bet Henny? Yeah, I know it's not that okay color bet
5:42
Henny because it's the spelling Bethany Frankels. Oh, all right, I never
5:46
know with you, So I have to stop and just make sure that you
5:48
don't go out into a pullit company and say stupid words like bet Henny.
5:53
It's bet Hanny Frankeles podcast. Yes from Real Housewives of Jersey, New York,
5:58
Henny, Okay, what they're saying it, I don't care. But
6:00
she was on her podcast, I guess, and she was talking bad crap.
6:03
So we start with the girls Sena La La. I think Ariana is
6:09
there except Katie at the studio recording her new song, it was Good as
6:15
Gold music video for Good as Gold? How many times do we have to
6:19
be subjected to that goddamn song good as Gold? It's a bad song objectively,
6:28
it's good. Why that's good? I came out riding something and the
6:34
whole like setup, all of the gold bars everywhere, her gold outfit.
6:40
I'm like stop, like please for me and my mental health, please stop.
6:46
Yeah, I'm sick of your good as Gold. I truly am.
6:48
And then we get another song from her later in the apples, which we'll
6:53
get into, yeah we will. But this is where everybody starts kind of
6:57
discussing the podcast, like Shina to the girls like, oh my god,
7:00
have you heard of her podcast? Like what she's been saying, And then
7:03
we flashed to James and Allie at their house. Allie's telling James about the
7:09
podcast and she's like, yeah, Raquel said that she's not over you and
7:13
that she was never in love with tom' sannival. Yeah. And also she
7:16
called James zibad dog daddy, uh huh and made some accusations and she has
7:21
since come out with some even stronger accusations against James Kennedy. And just sidebar
7:27
if we can sidebar for a second, eight because when I tell you how
7:31
hard I am holding on to my dislike of James Kennedy based on this information
7:40
or these allegations that he hit Kristen and he potentially Kristin. Yeah, oh
7:45
I thought it was uh he hit Raquel to yeah her too, Okay,
7:47
yeah, Kristen first, I mean according to Kristin and also then Raquel like
7:51
with her nose after her nose job. Like I'm holding a grudge, but
7:56
like I come from a background where there was a lot of domestic violin,
8:00
so like that's just such a in stone deal breaker for me. Yeah,
8:03
but I have to say, none of those allegations have been proven. H
8:09
People are in a sent until proven guilty. And the more I see James
8:13
this season, like if I didn't know that, for example, like the
8:16
more I would really like him. I'm loving like when he was when he
8:22
was with Tom sand of all and the fucking most extras. Honey, I
8:24
know I'm skipping ahead, but like that was sscissmazing, just dragging him.
8:33
Yeah, but you're a liar, Tom and everybody knows that. I mean,
8:35
you're just like, oh god, damn, I love it. Yeah,
8:37
you came to fight anyway. I just thought that, I don't know,
8:43
James is kind of appealing to me. Oh yeah. And a lot
8:46
of people on the IG and everything are talking about how they love James this
8:50
season and think he's hilarious and he kind of is like the comedic relief to
8:54
this weird scene and a voice of reason totally, which is very interesting.
8:58
And somebody who's willing to call shit like Lala, also has some of those
9:01
aspects, but she just doesn't do it in the same kind of way,
9:05
so she's not nearly as likable. Let me ask you a question, hypothetical,
9:09
key, So, if it came out that James Kennedy had actually put
9:13
his hands on one or both of those girls or other women and hurt them,
9:20
is that something that he can come back from. Is that something where
9:24
he could redeem himself over time, because if you recall brock Shana's dumbass hus
9:31
loser admitted to hitting his ex wife. I think in Australia, Oh he
9:37
did. He did so he was like nineteen or twenty, he was quite
9:41
young, and he's like, yes, I did that, and I should
9:43
not have done that, and I would never do that again. And we've
9:46
all kind of seemingly moved on from that. But I mean, for you,
9:52
for example, I know I'm crazy about it, Like, for you,
9:54
are you able to do you think people once they do something like that,
9:58
that they can just get over, they get better, or they'll never
10:00
do it again. Yeah, I mean I think it is possible. I
10:03
don't think it's like the general trend of it, you know, like I
10:07
think most people when they start hitting their significant others and stuff, like,
10:13
it's kind of a habit and it doesn't stop. But I mean there have
10:16
been famous examples of this, like Chris Brown with Rihanna, right, Like,
10:20
I mean, she forgave him after all of that, after him brutally
10:24
assaulting her. Right. But I mean, do you think he's been redeemed?
10:28
I mean, I think he's still an asshole. And yeah, he's
10:31
actually gone on allegedly to put his hands on other people. I don't know.
10:35
He says he's redeemed. Yeah, I will never be able to get
10:39
over that with him either. I just am wondering if it's me because I'm
10:43
up on Reddit, I'm online, and everybody seems to love James Kennedy,
10:48
So maybe people are just like, you know what, maybe he was young,
10:50
maybe he was passionate, maybe he was drunk. Yeah, now he's
10:52
sober, Now he's in his thirties. Now he's trying to do something different.
10:56
Like I still very much struggle with it, but well it's never acceptable,
11:00
like it's never an acceptable thing to do to somebody else by being a
11:03
domestic abuser obviously, But it's like I don't know, I mean, maybe
11:09
he was young, maybe it didn't happen. Maybe it's just like it's kind
11:11
of hard to tell with these fake Bravo types, Like it's like is it
11:16
a rumor or did he actually happen? And did it actually happen? And
11:20
is everybody just tolerating it from this piece of shit guy? Like right,
11:24
that's the thing where I like him this season, But that's always in the
11:26
back of my mind. I always hear your voice in the back of my
11:28
hand. My mom be like, well he hit Christon he could for kill,
11:31
and I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, but he's funny though
11:35
it's like hard, don't We also think like if he really did that,
11:39
then, for example, Tom Sandoval would be weaponizing that against him in these
11:43
types of moments, right, or like other cast members might be using it
11:46
against him, right. So yeah, just something to think about, something
11:50
that I'm noticing in myself, Like, oh, I really want to like
11:52
him, I know, because he's having some really good moments this season,
11:54
but I'm still a little hesitant. Even Brock, I didn't realize that he
12:00
admitted to ye hitting his ex wife or whatever. That's I hate him.
12:03
Well, I never liked him anywhere. Did you cyber again? Did you
12:07
see him on the after show? I've been seeing him on the after but
12:11
did you see him on his most recent one? In his outbum, he's
12:13
been wearing the same thing, the entires, the heels. What's wrong with
12:16
that? It's fine, but a lesbian you seem very attached to, like
12:20
gender Normandy, I'm not at all, But I think Brock looks stupid in
12:24
it. That's all I mean, I think that there is a trend currently
12:28
for masculine men to wear more feminine clothing, and I think that's totally fine,
12:35
and I yes, I agree, But with Brock, it feels desperate.
12:39
It doesn't seem organic or authentic. I'm like, why are you wearing
12:41
four inch heels and lace and lace? And like, didn't he go out
12:46
to dinner with the guys when they all wore their best suits and he were
12:52
like ruffles and stuff that. I don't know, the ruffles are fine,
12:54
I don't really care. I just feel like he's a tryhard. He is
12:58
a try hard. He's trying to make a st and he is so desperate
13:01
to be the number one guy on VPR. And that's why it looks dumb,
13:05
not because it's like heels well or lace. I thought the heels were
13:09
ugly, yeah, right, like poor fashion joy. Yeah, but I
13:11
think he looks ridiculous, especially like next to James looks so good in his
13:16
like skyl blazer and his white pants, he looks wonderful. And then there's
13:20
fucking Brock. He just looks stupid. I don't know. Don't come at
13:26
me in the comments as my opinione. And then the other thing that came
13:35
out of this scene at the studio with the girls with as Good as Gold
13:39
music video Good I Can't. Sina also tells Arianna that Rachel said, yeah,
13:46
me and Arianna were not actually good friends, we were just acquaintances,
13:50
which Ariana is like, that's bullshit, So what do you think about that?
13:54
I think Ariana is absolutely right. She's like she's either trying to convince
13:58
herself that we weren't ever really close so that she doesn't feel so bad about
14:03
what she did, or else it was always just a lie, yeah,
14:07
and it never meant anything to her, but it definitely meant something to Ariana,
14:11
and Arianna actually considered her to be a very very close friend. Yeah,
14:16
So I'm just like, what's going on here? I feel like Rachel's
14:20
digging herself a bigger and bigger. Yeah, it's pretty bad. And then
14:22
we have Tom Schwartz at his lonely apartment and Santoval comes over to join him
14:28
to talk about this podcast, and he cries again one gliscer and tear.
14:35
I really loved her, did you? I had all this hope and now
14:39
it's gone, like hope for what well, for Rachel to come back and
14:45
for Ariana to move out of the house and for Rachel to assume her half
14:50
of the mortgage to help him to be able to live the life that he
14:54
has become accustomed to and to bang her and then ultimately cheat on her.
15:00
Yeah, that's why he's crying because all of his hopes and dreams are dash
15:03
And we love it. I do love to see it. Yeah. And
15:07
then we have Lisa vander Pump, Schwartz, and Sandoval all at Tom Tom
15:11
because I guess they're gonna do brunch or something, and they're setting up for
15:13
a brunch and Sandoval again brings up the whole podcast. He's really but her
15:18
bike. Yeah, but he arrives, I want to say, forty five
15:22
minutes to an hour late, to Lisa vander Pump's restaurant, which she owns
15:28
the majority share in. They only they only own ten percent between the two
15:33
of them. Like, you're keeping the primary shareholder waiting for an entire hour?
15:39
Like how entitled and conceited and narcissistic do you have to be? And
15:43
then as soon as she's like starts to hit him up about it, he's
15:46
petulant, what do you want me to do? Like are you a forty
15:50
one year old man who has a legitimate business, Like, who are you?
15:54
Yeah, it's crazy to me. I know I have some respect,
15:58
show up on time. I don't be a fucking toddler. I hate him
16:02
so much. I know he's such a piece of shit. I had hope
16:04
for him at the beginning of the Sea You did. I thought maybe he
16:07
could pull it out, like he could redeem himself a little bit. You'd
16:11
know what he did was so terrible. Nope, Like, was it worse
16:12
than what Jacks did to Stossy? I don't like these people have done these
16:17
types of things, but like he has crashed and burned. He's a terrible
16:21
person. He's awful. And then he's going on about this podcast and Lisa
16:25
Vanderfelp literally is like, who cares? Who cares what Rachel Raquel is saying?
16:30
It doesn't fucking matter. She doesn't want you. She doesn't want you
16:33
at all. I knew that. I knew that four episodes being that knowing
16:37
I told you that. And she's just like, get over it, dude,
16:41
And he's like, I don't know, I can't do it. I
16:42
don't know. And then they start making drinks and getting ready for brunch.
16:47
Is he really this torn up about it? Or is he just doing this
16:49
for the cameras so that people will start to feel sorry for him and make
16:55
it easier for him to bounce back? Like I just can't believe he's really
16:59
this morose and maudlin while also at the same time like dancing around on stage
17:03
with his dumb ass band right right right. I think it bothers him,
17:07
like in terms of his ego, because how dare this girl that I cheated
17:11
on with talk anything bad about me? But I don't think he's like crying
17:15
over it. Just get over it, dude. And then Laala shows up
17:18
to tom tom just to ask Lisa vander pupp Hey, can you host my
17:22
sperm donor party? Like tomorrow tomorrow. I've got all the catering set up,
17:26
I've got everything planned him like, wait, you have all the catering
17:30
set up, but you don't know where they're going to drive all that food
17:33
and set it up out? Like what doesn't make any sense. I guess
17:36
this is Bravo Television. It's gotta be been pre planned. Yeah. So
17:41
Lisa's like, okay, fine, but I don't want sperm everywhere. Well,
17:44
she's kind of a boomer about it, like she insists Lisa does on
17:48
judging Laala and her choices, and as Lisa had told her previously, like,
17:52
why don't you just find yourself a man and make yourself a baby?
17:56
And because I do not want a man, I do not need a man.
18:00
I want to have this baby of my own, accord, can you
18:03
just support me. I'm an adult person. Yeah. And finally Lisay's like,
18:06
okay, you have my blessing, and Laala actually cries. Yeah,
18:10
Lala's all over the place. I know, sometimes I love her. Sometimes
18:12
I just can't stand her. I know it's kind of weird, but that's
18:15
what makes me think. I'm like, are you pregnant now? Oh?
18:18
Yeah, because I'm like, your emotions are like wo No, she's always
18:22
been this way, really, yeah, she's always been erradict and hot headed.
18:25
Yes, Okay, well that's weird. And then we have Arianna at
18:30
her and Tom's house and Brock and Sheena come up to be such good friends
18:36
and help her clean her mess of a house. Okay, we got to
18:40
talk about this. Yes, let's talk about this, because on the surface,
18:45
it seems like a nice thing. To do for your friend, like
18:48
let me come over, do you a solid, you know, buy the
18:51
pizza, we'll come, We'll help you clean up, straighten it up.
18:52
But it didn't even seem like Arianna wanted them there, and like they busted
18:59
into the house and started being super critical about like why is there stuff on
19:03
the dining room table? How can you live this way? I have OCD,
19:06
I could never live this way, which is a passive aggressive way to
19:11
judge Ariana and make her look bad. Yeah, in the same breath saying
19:15
that you care about her mental health and you're worried that she's getting bad again
19:18
because of the state of her house, Like, don't act like you care
19:22
and you're doing such a kind thing for her when you're also putting her down
19:26
for how messy her house is, right, and even bringing up the fact
19:30
that they tended to have messy homes over the years. And then Bravo of
19:33
course shows all of the montage, like their other homes and apartments where they
19:38
were kind of slobbish. Yeah, and we've talked about that, but I
19:41
just didn't understand what their motivation was. I also didn't understand why the fuck
19:45
Brock needed to be there because he's Sena's a bartacle god, he's such a
19:51
cloud goblin. He just wants to be on camera. But I just felt
19:53
like that whole thing was trumped up so that they could make Ariana look bad.
19:57
But why would Sheina want to do that? Wh I would she want
20:00
to do that? I don't know. It's really weird, and like,
20:02
why would Arianna want Sena there when they've kind of had this weird tension like
20:07
all season because of Sheena's relationship with Animal. It was very bizarre. But
20:11
the only thing that came out of this was they were talking about Tom's offer.
20:15
Yeah, so Arianna knew, so I guess she made a counter offer.
20:19
She finally responded, and then Tom I think it was with Schwartz.
20:25
Maybe he was talking about it there. I forget where He's like, well,
20:27
now I'm considering not taking her offer. She wants to accept it,
20:30
but now I've had some time to think about it, and so now I've
20:33
got to think about another counteroffer. Well, also, my finances have changed
20:38
in the long ass time she took to respond to my offer, And obviously
20:44
we see Ariana in the after show saying like I was doing my due diligence,
20:48
Like, and I was also preparing my counter offers that everything would be
20:52
included. And furthermore, we're talking like three months after this all went down.
20:56
Yeah, so your financial landscape changed so dramatically in three months that now
21:00
all of a sudden, you don't have the money to buy her out,
21:03
or you never had the money to buy her out. You didn't really know
21:07
what you were asking for, or you were hoping she was gonna give a
21:11
lot of this away to you. Oh yeah, yecause she wanted to get
21:15
out so much. Yes, And she's telling Sheena and Brock this like she's
21:18
like, now Tom wants to sell the house because he realizes that there's so
21:22
much that would have to go into buying me out. We'd have to fucking
21:26
refinance, so we'd lose the interest rate, the twenty twenty one interest rate
21:30
of two percent, that's right, And so then he'd be really screwed and
21:33
on the hook for the whole ass mortgage as opposed to just half of the
21:37
mortgage. Like he wasn't factoring any of that in. I don't even think
21:41
he realized, oh shit, I got to refinance this. Yeah, Like
21:45
that's how dummy is and she even says to Shina and to Brockl like I
21:49
knew this day one. I knew what his money situation was. I knew
21:53
he did not have the money to do it. Yeah, so I knew
21:56
he was just fucking around and or fucking with me. Yeah, and so
21:59
now it's big surprise. Now you don't know if you can do it.
22:00
Well, I know you can't do it. We're gonna have to sell this
22:03
house. But the time to have sold the house was in March, and
22:07
now three four months have passed. The market is cooling off, interest rates
22:11
are going up, and it's not the same deal, honey, m mmm,
22:15
no, it's not. And I would have been pissed if I was
22:17
Arian it for to hear him through the grapevine be like, yeah, I'm
22:19
considering selling the house and just getting rid of it whatever. And that's what
22:23
she wanted to do from the get go, Like he's a piece of shit.
22:26
I think he was doing it on purpose to rile up Arian or something,
22:32
or maybe prove a point like yeah, I've got all this money,
22:34
but now you don't. Maybe he did have the money and then he spent
22:37
it all. Maybe while she was getting all of these brand deals. He
22:41
was losing brand deals and or losing opportunities, and maybe people weren't showing up
22:45
to his stupid ass band concerts, yep, and maybe he was having trouble.
22:49
And I know he was also kicked out of Schwartz and Sandy's like physically
22:53
kicked out, Like he can't come into the bar anymore. Although I think
22:56
he still has his ownership portion, you know, I would imagine he still
23:00
makes money from it. But like, remember when Ariana was telling the girls
23:04
at that astrology chart party that she only had two thousand dollars in her account
23:11
at the time of scandaval, Right, So keeping in mind, that's like
23:14
three or four or five months before this scene that we're watching this week,
23:18
So just four or five months ago, she only had two thousand dollars in
23:22
her account. Like how much more would Tom Sandoval have had? Right?
23:26
I understand they kept their finances separate. I mean I imagine that they did,
23:30
But like, I can't imagine he was so much more wealthy than she
23:36
was, right like that there was such a huge disparity between them. What
23:38
I'm saying is, I just don't know that he ever had a ton of
23:41
money so I was hoped. I think he was hoping that he would be
23:47
able to somehow swindle her out of what she was owed in the house.
23:52
Ah, so that's why she was so mad about it. Maybe maybe I
23:55
don't know if this is all speculation, but he sucks. That's not speculation.
23:59
Yeah, agreed. And then we also have Sena saying I made a
24:03
song and it's about Raquel and what happened with it because it affected me and
24:07
it affected everybody in the group, especially me. And also there's a line
24:11
in there about Sandoval, right, and so we'll get into that Apple song.
24:17
Yeah, yeah. And then the next scene is Tom at his dress
24:22
rehearsal for the Misfits Honey singing in that falsesetto Wow, I can't I sent
24:27
you a video of it yesterday watching it and you were like, that's him
24:30
singing. I'm like, yes, bitch, I I didn't believe it.
24:34
I mean, I've seen footage of him doing like songs, covering songs,
24:40
and he was like, Okay, I mean these pitchy's not that great,
24:42
but like what we saw in this episode is objectively bad. It's very supertrible.
24:48
You see his like backup singer win singh super fucking pitchy. It sounds
24:55
terrible, and he's oblivious. Uh huh. Like, if I'm singing and
25:00
either way I have the voice of an angel, she does. If I'm
25:02
singing and I'm pitchy, I hear that, duh. But it's like he
25:06
doesn't hear his own voice. Now, how terrible it is. I know,
25:10
wow, I love that for him. I know it's pretty great.
25:12
But then James shows up. Yeah, and this is where it gets great
25:18
because they start talking about the podcast and I think it was Sandabal that brought
25:22
up. Yeah, Rachel said that you were emotionally abusive to her, and
25:26
she's saying all these horrible shit and James like, yeah, I don't care,
25:29
yeah, and he doesn't. He really doesn't give a shit. Second,
25:32
did you hear that she said she never really loved you. Yeah.
25:33
He's like yeah, and Tom's like, she did love me. We were
25:38
in love, bro, it was real. You don't know anything, which
25:44
is really funny because then James starts going off and he's like, oh,
25:48
pully right, you guys were fucking in the bathroom downstairs while Arianna's upstairs,
25:56
Like, you guys, it was just a fuck fest between you two,
25:59
like there was no Yeah, and Sandabal's still getting defensive. He's like,
26:02
you know, bro, you know no, and I was really in love
26:04
with her. She was the only one I ever loved. Yeah, And
26:08
James is literally just laughing at him, which is how you know he's so
26:14
much better than Sandibal and he's so over sand of bal oh yeah, because
26:17
he's not triggered, he's not getting mad. He's like literally just laughing at
26:21
him, like you are pathetic. Actually you're actually pathetic, hardcore pathetic.
26:25
And he's like, okay, whatever, but by the way, I'm not
26:26
gonna be able to open for you because I'm onto bigger and better things and
26:30
so like, have fun, gotta go. He calls the band a joke.
26:33
Yeah, He's like, this is a total joke. Yeah, I
26:36
would never open for you ever again because I'm better than you. So perfect.
26:40
He also tells him that what him and Arianna had was true love and
26:45
that what him and Raquel had wasn't, which I was like, dang,
26:48
just stabbing. Tom immediately starts to deny it, but then James is like,
26:55
you told me over and over and over again that you love that girl.
27:00
Then Tom says, well, I mean I did love her, and
27:03
in and amongst this is where James just says, yeah, but you're a
27:06
liar. Yeah, like you lie all the fucking time. So the implication
27:10
being like, I'm not listening to anything you're saying because you prevaricate constantly.
27:15
So when James is walking out, doesn't he say, well, go and
27:18
just push some buttons on your laptop? Then yeah, yeah, and James
27:22
is like, oh, fuck you. I mean, James played Coachella last
27:29
weekend. James has got some big poly d Jersey Shore type gigs that's doing,
27:37
unlike fucking Tom Sandoval and the most ex you know, fucking cover band,
27:42
when James is like an actual DJ getting gigs and making money. Sorry
27:47
Sandoval, that you sung that was so glorious, priceless, so amazing.
27:53
And then we have Laala's sperm downer party at Lisa vander Pump's house and it's
27:57
kind of sweet and wholesome. She's having all the girls there. Basically they're
28:02
all going to help her choose between one of three sperm donors. Well,
28:04
the girls and the gays. Yes, there was gas there, Well that
28:08
was just she referred well, her brother was there. Oh, but I
28:11
mean I think there were some gentlemen that were there. But like, can
28:14
I ask you, as a gay person, do you have any feeling about
28:19
this propensity of like the Real Housewives to refer to their homosexual friends as their
28:26
gaze. These are my gays and these are my friends. No, I
28:30
don't really, I don't like offended by it, yeah, because I mean
28:33
I feel like it's I mean, yeah, they're the gays the other people.
28:37
I mean, aren't they the people first? Why do we have to
28:38
call them the gaze? Well, because they're the gays. I'm a gay,
28:41
okay, if you don't mind, Yeah, okay, I mean that's
28:45
not something I would do. So these are my friends. Yeah, these
28:47
are my friends, the people that I love the most. You're not going
28:49
to call out them as gays and or my gaze, right, Yeah.
28:52
I mean I think some peop don't care, and I think that's fine.
28:56
Yeah, I think some people may have friend Yeah I am. I am
28:59
talking to you that too, at a safe way. You got to you
29:03
got two gays. I know it's my gaye that you do say that.
29:06
Sometimes you guys call us, Yeah, you and your husband are like,
29:08
where are the les bots. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, saved it.
29:15
But I would would I do that? Until it? I would?
29:15
Yeah, yeah, of course you would. Back to the sperm donor party,
29:23
it's cute, it's whatever, it's wholesome. They play pin the Sperm
29:27
on the Cervix, which is like fun, it's funny whatever. I mean,
29:33
you're gay, you like that? Yeah, involved, but it's pretty
29:41
cute. And then La La starts reading off the profiles called the sperm Donors,
29:45
which I thought was kind of fun. I think about, like,
29:48
whenever we have to, and I'm like, well, maybe we should do
29:51
that. Maybe we should have a sperm doughor party. It's just gonna be
29:53
me and my husband. Yeah that's fine. Yeah, that would be so
30:00
cute. It would be very cute. I can't wait. I know.
30:03
One. I was like listening to all these sperm donor profiles and stuff.
30:07
I'm like, dang, six two plays instruments, degree in this or that.
30:12
I'm like dying, Okay, Yeah, that'd be pretty cool. So
30:17
they pick sperm donor number one. She's gonna get the jis inserted into her
30:22
and she wants to virgo baby did you hear that? Yeah? Which I
30:26
do love do you. Yeah, I'm a virgo rything. I'm the Virgo
30:30
Mercury. I like virgos. Burgos are cool, but you know they can't
30:33
be Lala. Yeah, she's a virgo exactly, and she wants to get
30:37
inseminated in November and or December so that she can have that virgo baby.
30:44
And I think she got pregnant in December. So yeah, it's either gonna
30:48
be virgo or libra. Yeah. I love a libra personally. I mean,
30:52
libras are cool. Ethel's a Libra. Robert Brown Libra. And then
31:00
we have we're back at Oriana and Tom's house, but it's just the two
31:04
Toms, so it's Sandoval and Schwartz and this is where they're talking about Craig.
31:11
Yeah, Craig, which I think is Santoval's gay lover. Is this
31:15
your updated point gay conspiracy. I mean he was he's kind of going.
31:22
He was very hot. I was like, dang, I know, he's
31:26
walking around all barefoot next to stuff, with like the tattoos and everything.
31:30
I was like a little sixy know, my sexy little number. Maybe sans
31:33
crush on here. Maybe maybe they get drunk or whatever. It's like a
31:37
broke back maund type thing. I'm just saying that they're talking about it's always
31:41
got to be that though, because I always have to bring a gate conspiracy,
31:45
Okay, because most of the time I'm right. I'm just saying,
31:47
okay, I'm right. But anyway, they're talking about Ariana's counter offer.
31:52
Sandoval's like, yeah, I'm reconsidering it. I don't know if I'm gonna
31:55
accept it. And then he asks Schwartz, hey, I do need a
31:59
roommate, and Schwartz is like, really, I don't know if I want
32:02
to live with you, And Santoval's like, yeah, well no, it'd
32:06
be cool. You could pay six thousand dollars a month and rent. And
32:08
Schwartz is like, excuse toward my mortgage. Excuse me six thousand dollars for
32:15
nothing, no equity, nothing, Yeah, And Sandoval seems like he's like
32:19
seriously trying to course. Yeah. I think he's trying to, in a
32:22
creative way, find a way to keep this house. And what better way
32:27
for him to do that than rope Tom Schwartz into his Shenanigans. Oh my
32:31
god. Before he even asks Schwartz, Schwartz knows what's coming. He's like,
32:36
don't even ask me, absolutely not. We would look like a couple
32:38
of fucking nip n income poops. No way. So he knows the optics
32:44
of it, yes, and he also knows that he doesn't want to throw
32:46
good money after bad no, which is just like giving Tom Sandival a boon
32:51
of six thousand dollars a month. That's insane. Yeah, that's literally insane.
32:54
And then I think at some point Sandoval is like, well then what
32:58
if we like bought a place together, got alone together. And Schwortz is
33:00
like, no, right, Just what I want to do is hitch my
33:05
wagon and my finances to yours in a bar, in two bars actually,
33:10
and a home. Absolutely not, absolutely not. Can you imagine these forty
33:14
year old losers bringing home chicks at night? They wouldn't be bringing them chicks.
33:19
They may fucking each other. Oh oh god, well maybe. And
33:24
then Joe will come over start spazzing out. Bro hey, Joseph, God
33:31
critch. And then we have James and Ali at their house. This is
33:37
where they're talking about their future and adiends and stuff. Nobody cares. James
33:40
is all sad because he wants to be a dad. He's like, I'm
33:43
twenty four. I don't know if I want to do She's twenty eight.
33:45
What I didn't know that. I thought she was twenty four. I thought
33:49
she was so much younger than what's only four years But she's she's your age.
33:52
She's twenty eight years old. Yeah, twenty eight. Yet, well
33:54
you're almost twenty eight. You're virtually thirty, honey, Yeah, you're virtually
33:59
thirty. So that's usually the time, like a young woman will start thinking
34:04
about whether they want to have a child, and so to hear that she's
34:07
not there yet, not at all, I'm like, Oh, I like
34:10
that. Yeah, do you don't like spit out a baby and get married
34:15
and hook yourself to James in this weird house in the flight path? Like
34:22
you don't need to do that, Like you could continue to do your astrological
34:24
readings. You have really famous on Vanner Pump Rules. You don't love your
34:28
choice of any man that you want. You don't need this James Kennedy abusing
34:31
guy allegedly. I feel like she loves him. She's in this house with
34:36
him, but I don't know. I feel like the only reason he's sober
34:38
is because if he's not sober, she's going to leave his ass for sure.
34:42
Yeah, because he's a drunkard, really sober and if he's not sober,
34:45
is he going to hit her? Like, I don't know. We
34:47
don't have to talk about it anything. Oh, I don't know, man,
34:50
I hope, but he did cry. He does want a family,
34:53
and we saw him on the after show say like, once I have a
34:57
child, I am not going to tour anymore. I cannot do that and
35:00
want to be home with my child. So everything is going to change.
35:02
So I've got time. Yeah that was sweet. Isn't he like forty?
35:06
Also, no, I told you what I forget. Yeah, No,
35:09
he's thirty one or something like that. He's a low end of the thirties.
35:14
Yeah, got so much time. Yeah, he could be like Gordon
35:16
Ramsay would be like fifty something and have a new baby. Yeah, but
35:20
what about you? What about you and your clock? It takes it girl.
35:25
If I had sperb already, if I had a dick and balls,
35:30
we would have been bright. We would have had California cryoclinic. Yes,
35:34
true to the very same thing. Although it's expensive at that cryoclinic, is
35:37
it? Yeah? How do you know? She said it was super expensive.
35:39
Lala said it's the most expensive on the after show. I think she
35:43
was like, it's the most expensive, most pleasurable thing I've ever done to
35:45
have a baby. Well, I mean, I think she was just comparing
35:47
that to cheap ass, dirty ass host sex. That doesn't mean it's necessarily
35:52
expensive. Like I have a friend who lives in California. She's a LESBI
35:54
like you, and she's married and she got inseminated. I think the whole
36:00
thing was covered under like Kaiser Permanente health insurance. I don't know if we
36:04
got that shit in Texas, probably not. And I think the jiz itself
36:07
was like four g's but I think she got three vials of it. So
36:10
if it doesn't take the first time, you can go back and try again
36:15
a few times for four thousand dollars. I feel like we could crowdfund your
36:20
insemination in the next year. We gotta have plans. We gotta think,
36:27
yes, give me a gram baby, that would be pretty cute. And
36:31
then, last, but not least, we have everybody showing up at Tom
36:35
Tom for brunch. Nobody really cares. James apologizes to Sandoval kind of He's
36:42
like, sorry, bro about the other day. By calling you a liar,
36:45
which you are. But it's all good. But how mature of James.
36:47
I know, like, you know, I want to get along and
36:50
I'm not going to continue to antagonize you, and like, let's just squash
36:53
it. Yeah it is. I loved that. I was like, Okay,
36:57
James, growth I see it. I did like that. And then
37:00
Lala confronts Katie kind of like I guess, Katie and Allie kind of bring
37:06
up the fact that they were talking about what happened at Paintball, which was
37:08
that Laala was talking about how unhappy Katie is and she's taking it out on
37:14
everybody else. Alie told Katie that Lala said Katie was miserable, and then
37:21
Lala gets all mad about it. I could have swore to God she used
37:23
the word miserable. I thought at some point I thought she said miserable in
37:29
that conversation at Paintball, and if it wasn't, then I know she said
37:31
it in some other episode, like she's used that word to describe Katie before.
37:37
I thought the exact same thing. Because the Bravo editors showed that she
37:39
didn't say that. They didn't show the whole conversation. Now, I feel
37:43
like she said it. I think she did too. I thought she I
37:45
know she said miserable at some point. It's been like repeated throughout the season,
37:51
but she is insisting that she didn't say that. She's telling Katie that
37:53
she feels like they're not as close and she wants to be BFFs with them
37:58
with her, and they both cry and I don't care. I don't care
38:01
either, And then Sheena goes over to Sandoval because Sandoval's having some lunch or
38:07
something with Schwartz. I think, yeah. She goes over to Tom and
38:08
Tom and says hi, and then she mentions that she has a new song
38:14
coming out called Apple. It's called Apples, and she tells them both but
38:21
truly she's telling Tom that it has to do with the scandabal and there is
38:24
a line in the song that has to do with him directly, something about
38:29
a Ferrari to a Jetta or something, and he gets very upset and leaves
38:36
storms off, and as he's walking out of Tom, Tom he's like,
38:39
thanks for profiting off my misery, or like stop profiting off my misery,
38:45
and thus ends the episode. So I want to have a multifaceted conversation on
38:52
his face. I love that for him. Yeah, I love people blasting
38:54
him. I think he's an asshole. I think he deserves it. But
38:59
to have like a deeper layered conversation about how Shina is and what a clout
39:04
goblin she is and constantly needing to monetize herself, but also something that's happening
39:12
in somebody else's life that is clearly causing them distress and is not over.
39:16
Ariana's still in it, Tom's still in it, Raquel's still in it.
39:21
It's not your relationship and you're still fucking making money. Two things are true
39:25
at the same time. I love that for him, Yeah, and he
39:29
deserves it. But Sena, you also suck. Yeah, it's all just
39:35
for her seeking attention and go over there and money, and it's just like
39:38
you go over there to tell him this knowing it's gonna upset him. After
39:43
just two three episodes ago, you're like talking about how you want to mend
39:46
things with him because you love him, your friendship meant a lot to you
39:52
and you thought he was such a good person. And then you're gonna write
39:53
a song kind of like digging at him. Also you didn't have to say
39:58
it to him, release the song and whatever. He probably wouldn't have listened
40:02
to it, right, nobody's gonna listen to all. She wants everybody to
40:05
know that she has a new song exactly, and that she's dropping this new
40:08
track, and so she's trying to get interest and attention on it. Yeah,
40:12
I just feel like it puts her in a bad light. Although I
40:15
kind of love it, I'm just like, oh my god, she don't
40:17
you have your own life. What's going on in your own life, in
40:21
your own relationship with that tool Brock? Like, what do you have to
40:24
contribute and to offer other than how somebody's situation is affecting you? Is that
40:30
exact all you're talking about this entire season without a storyline of your own.
40:34
Yeah, I'm bored. I know. It's been a sheen a heavy season.
40:37
I'm like, I don't care with nothing to offer other than how jealous
40:42
she is about dancing with the stars and like coming over and being passive aggressive
40:46
cleaning Ariana's house. I mean, like this is boring, I know,
40:50
and she just comes off as a big old bitch. I'm just kind of
40:52
over it. Yeah, Like nobody cares about your dumb song which I listened
40:54
to and it's bad. Yeah, every song she does really she can't sing.
41:00
She's doing pop. I know she's almost forty. I'm like, that
41:02
can be done. You can do pop at forty, but like you don't
41:07
want to start pop at forty, you know, I just I know.
41:10
Well, in a few episodes ago, she was calling herself emo like she
41:14
wanted to get into scream a music. I'm like, shut up, just
41:16
to be a mom. Seriously, VPR have things to talk about and contribute
41:22
that don't involve and or revolve around somebody else's life and pain. I know
41:25
she belongs more on the valley honestly with all the other parents and all the
41:30
other mom but she wants to be on VPR with all the young kids because
41:34
she's cool naything and I'm a popstar. No yeah, I mean crnch.
41:42
There's a reason we call this reality to the girl like she's so cringe.
41:45
I just like she does not have the ability to see how bad all of
41:50
it is. And I'm saying that both La La and Sina thought that they
41:54
were going to do something this season totally. They thought they were going to
41:58
end up on the right side of things and that side of things, and
42:00
that Ariana was going to come out looking really bad. But it's them that
42:05
are being dragged online Laala and Sheena, and I'm just like, God,
42:07
what are you doing? Oh? How the turn tables? That's right?
42:12
What are you doing? Girls? I don't get it. Yeah. Then
42:15
we have the preview for the next few episodes. Schwartz and Sandoval get tattoos
42:20
together, which is weird. Jack's shows up and has lunch with Lisa Vanderpumk.
42:25
That's going to be so interesting because the last time Jax was on the
42:30
show, he got into a fight with Lisa vander Pump and referred to vander
42:35
Pump Rules as his show and she said, this is Michael, Oh,
42:38
this is not your show. Yeah. He definitely has a big ego and
42:44
got too big for his breeches and that most likely contributed to him being ultimately
42:49
fired. Oh m G. Yeah, well I can't wait to see that.
42:52
And then Sheena and Brock are having problems, yeah, like marital problems.
42:58
But I don't think they're going to get divorced. Probably not, but
43:00
I mean I don't think they're going to stay married for long. I personally,
43:05
I don't think that this is if vpr ends. I think Brock is
43:07
gone. Yeah. Oh, I think there's the only reason that he's hanging
43:09
out with Shana right now. No lame. Yeah, he's so bleased.
43:14
He's not good. He's bad. Even on the after show. I'm like,
43:16
you don't have anything to contribue, you don't, And I think James
43:21
cut him off. He was saying something. Did you notice that. I
43:23
think he was trying to opine about children and how it changes, and James
43:28
just cut him off mid sentence and started talking, and Brock just backed off.
43:32
I know, what are you gonna do? Some modo manual? Nobody
43:36
wants you there? Nope, mister hagh heels, you know, Okay,
43:38
calm down over there. Well, any final thoughts about vander Pump Rules this
43:44
week? Well, I wanted to start picking up. I want to see
43:46
Jack's and Lisa vander Pump fight. Okay, I think that's coming up next
43:50
week. Yeah, I want to see more of the Ariana and Tom House.
43:53
Yeah, that's very interesting to me, very interesting. The financials.
43:57
We always love to know about the coins. But yeah, so far,
44:00
I mean, you know, pretty good. It's pretty good. I'm hoping
44:02
it picks up as well. Now, is there anything else that we need
44:06
to say to these beautiful raccoons Beatrice, Well, if you love our podcast,
44:10
you whoa be going to your favorite podcast platforms aggressive and leaving us a
44:15
glowing five star review. And also, if you're watching on YouTube, make
44:20
sure you like this video, make sure you subscribe to our channel, and
44:23
thank you, thank you very much. We'll be back next week to talk
44:28
Seeking Sister Wife, which is popping off and we are having so much fun
44:30
with that. So if you're not joining us because you're just a Bravo person,
44:35
you might want to dip your toe in the TL see. Yeah.
44:37
Until then, though, please don't forget that we have nothing but love for
44:42
you, and please oh bye bye guys,