Latest / Authentic Living / Embrace Your Right to Happiness with Mindfulness Expert, Sharon Babineau

Transcript

Embrace Your Right to Happiness with Mindfulness Expert, Sharon Babineau · Authentic Living

• 0:01
  Welcome to authentic living with Roxanne, a place where we conscious conversations about
• 0:08
  things that really matter in our lives.
• 0:12
  And now here's your host, Roxanne Derhodge.
• 0:36
  Hi, everyone.
• 0:37
  It's Roxanne Durhartch of the authentic, living with Roxanne.
• 0:41
  This week, I have a colleague, Sharon Babinow with me.
• 0:45
  Sharon is has, mindfulness specialty, and we'll talk a little bit about that.
• 0:50
  So, Sharon, thanks so for coming on.
• 0:52
  Thank you for having me.
• 0:53
  It's my pleasure.
• 0:54
  Thank you.
• 0:55
  So I'm gonna I'm gonna read a bit about, Sharon's background, which is quite a
• 0:59
  extensive.
• 1:00
  And, you know, I think the bio oftentimes does not do the guest, justice because there's so
• 1:07
  much that, oftentimes people have done.
• 1:11
  So, Sharon's a corporate wellness facilitator.
• 1:14
  She's a decorated, military soldier.
• 1:17
  And an inspirational speaker and also she she's a tedx speaker and she's also an author.
• 1:26
  She has, trained in mindfulness, and she's a mindfulness expert and has been do doing this
• 1:33
  work.
• 1:34
  I would say, for decades now, and She was on a path to, learning about self care because she
• 1:41
  unfortunately had 2 significant losses with her husband and her daughter to illnesses that
• 1:47
  really kind of put her on that path.
• 1:50
  And, she's been, involved with, the University of Toronto continuing eds, with their
• 1:58
  mindfulness program there and the applied mindfulness mediation program, and she's also
• 2:06
  co facilitated several courses.
• 2:09
  And I know mindfulness is something that, incorporates, North America.
• 2:14
  It's something that we're constantly trying to find new perspectives on it and how it can help
• 2:22
  us, stay focused and obviously more productive and more connected.
• 2:28
  So, Sharon, thanks so much for coming on to share your expertise.
• 2:32
  Thank you.
• 2:33
  Yes.
• 2:34
  So let's let's just kinda jump right into it and, talk about kind of your path on
• 2:41
  mindfulness and because like I said, so much of I know with you as a a keynote speaker and
• 2:47
  myself, that's something that is often asked for by companies now.
• 2:51
  So kind of share with us your path and how you kind of got involved where you're you're, kind
• 2:57
  of steeped in mindfulness today.
• 2:59
  Yeah.
• 3:00
  So, well, I definitely have to go back to the personal side, where my journey started was,
• 3:11
  after the loss of my daughter, Maddie.
• 3:14
  So she was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 12 and battled it bravely for 3 years, but,
• 3:21
  sadly, we lost her at the age of fifteen at, much young age to, to lose any child.
• 3:28
  And one of the things that, she left as a personal legacy to me was a promise that I had
• 3:35
  to make to her, and that was to be happy.
• 3:38
  You know, to be happy after she passed, And for me, that was something just seemed absolutely
• 3:47
  impossible.
• 3:48
  Like, how could how could I happy.
• 3:50
  How could I even get up the next day?
• 3:52
  And it was something that really challenged me.
• 3:58
  And I I intuitively, I guess, you know, started to just try to find things that I was grateful
• 4:06
  for.
• 4:06
  So every morning, get up and sometimes it's like, slim pickings.
• 4:11
  There wasn't a lot going on.
• 4:12
  In my life.
• 4:13
  I lost my job, lost my husband, my daughter, but I had my son, and my son needed a mom who
• 4:20
  was happy.
• 4:21
  And so I I just knew I had to figure out what this new happiness would look like.
• 4:28
  And so that started with a little bit of meditation every day, just finding gratitude,
• 4:32
  finding gratitude, for him, for myself, for the, the beautiful experiences I'd had with my
• 4:39
  daughter, with my husband, the lessons learned.
• 4:41
  And, from there, it I wanted to make them proud, really.
• 4:50
  And how can I get back into into the world again and be productive?
• 4:56
  And I I came across the woman who was teaching a mindfulness class.
• 5:01
  And so I mean, I I took her class.
• 5:06
  There's a part of me because I'm a soldier that You know, I was always worried there was a bit
• 5:10
  of woo woo to it, but, you know, I I still learned that there's science that backs
• 5:15
  everything that that, that mindfulness shares.
• 5:18
  And and so I started meditating, and I started working on my mind.
• 5:23
  The biggest part of that was, you know, bringing, a positive mindset.
• 5:28
  Into into my day to day life.
• 5:30
  And what I learned was it something that you know, for some of us, it doesn't happen
• 5:37
  naturally because we've overcome many, many challenges in our lives.
• 5:41
  So, you know, just practicing everyday studying, started reading books, and Well, that
• 5:50
  was where the past started.
• 5:52
  So and then studying.
• 5:54
  That's the big part.
• 5:55
  Yes.
• 5:56
  So for the average person that may not understand mindfulness and you, you know, on
• 6:01
  the media and you'll hear lots of things about define mindfulness as best as you can for, say,
• 6:08
  someone that maybe has never kinda got the concept.
• 6:12
  How how would you define it?
• 6:14
  Okay.
• 6:16
  So my illness is paying attention in the present moment on purpose and without judgment.
• 6:26
  And so, I mean, that's a lot to unpack.
• 6:29
  But it's really about really being present, so not being, thrown in the past of all our
• 6:36
  worries, not being focused of the what ifs that are coming up in the future and just really
• 6:43
  having that presence in the moment, giving full attention, not wishing things were another way.
• 6:52
  Yeah.
• 6:52
  I think be with that.
• 6:53
  Does that help?
• 6:54
  Oh, absolutely.
• 6:55
  Absolutely.
• 6:56
  So, you know, I often think that when things are going really well for us, it's really kinda
• 7:02
  easy to apply those concepts.
• 7:04
  Right?
• 7:05
  You know, but when you're talking about something as as devastating as losing, you
• 7:11
  know, a husband and a child.
• 7:13
  And, and, you know, you're looking at at cancer.
• 7:17
  That was the what she had died of.
• 7:19
  That's pretty, you know, tough.
• 7:21
  You know, when you see someone kind of go through that process.
• 7:26
  So how did you start to apply some of these things?
• 7:30
  Because I'm thinking you're grieving.
• 7:32
  You're in the throes of it.
• 7:33
  Yeah.
• 7:34
  Sharon, like, you know, you know, and I I can think of in my years of dealing with people
• 7:38
  that have gone through grief, it's hard to sometimes get out of bed, much less, you know,
• 7:42
  brush your hair and make sure, you know, everything's done, right, because you're in
• 7:46
  that deep state of of of mourning
• 7:50
  Yeah.
• 7:51
  How how do you start to how did you start to, or maybe what are some of the things people can
• 7:56
  start doing?
• 7:59
  Regardless of the maybe the morning state that they're in.
• 8:03
  Okay.
• 8:04
  Well, I mean, grief is something that you know, can't be rushed.
• 8:08
  We know that.
• 8:08
  It's a process that we go through.
• 8:11
  And some of the mindfulness techniques, I just found really, really helped.
• 8:17
  And I'll I'll give you, one example.
• 8:20
  There was one day about 3 months after Maddie passed away.
• 8:24
  And my son came out and asked me, if it was okay for him to go out and play.
• 8:31
  And know, I was a little surprised.
• 8:33
  I'm like, yeah.
• 8:35
  Sure.
• 8:35
  Why not?
• 8:36
  And he's like, well, mom, you're so sad.
• 8:38
  I don't wanna leave you alone.
• 8:41
  And it was in that moment that I understood what my what my daughter said when she asked me
• 8:48
  to to be happy because my son needed somebody to be happy.
• 8:54
  And so that day, I said to him, No.
• 8:58
  No.
• 8:58
  I'm okay.
• 8:58
  Go out and play.
• 9:00
  And don't don't worry.
• 9:01
  I'm gonna be fine.
• 9:02
  And as I sent him out, I shut that door.
• 9:05
  And in that moment, I literally for the first time, and this soldier warrior with all her
• 9:12
  armor went down on her knees and said, I want to surrender.
• 9:17
  I want to surrender all these arrows that are pierced in my heart that are causing so much
• 9:23
  grief, the shame, the blame, the the wishing things were different.
• 9:27
  And, sometimes some of those arrows, like, we put them in ourselves.
• 9:34
  And so we're the only ones who could take them out.
• 9:36
  So there was this sort of sense of just wanting some freedom to to, you know, to surrender.
• 9:45
  And I guess which is such a strange word for me, you know, to to fashion.
• 9:50
  I can oh, I can surrender this and let it go.
• 9:54
  And And that, I think, really opened the doors.
• 9:57
  And and so that's when, you know, again, the studying of the mindfulness came up and, And so
• 10:08
  I would say, How is mindfulness helping for people grieving?
• 10:15
  Is that what we're saying?
• 10:16
  Yeah.
• 10:17
  Yeah.
• 10:17
  Yeah.
• 10:17
  Yeah.
• 10:17
  Yeah.
• 10:21
  Well, I think for 1, it allows you to be with those feelings because if we can't be with
• 10:28
  those feelings, so I do really Allow the sadness to move through me without, sort of
• 10:37
  like swallowing it you know, and creating this heaviness, to just, and and so some of it was
• 10:45
  the the just, Sitting, allowing it to rise.
• 10:51
  I know this is something that's not easy if you are in deep, deep grief, but for for many of
• 10:56
  us, you know, that's something that we we can do.
• 10:59
  And then just some of the the positive psychology, you know, that I've I've studied a
• 11:06
  bit at the university and,
• 11:09
  That's tough.
• 11:10
  Right?
• 11:10
  Because, you know, you we recognize, like, I've I've gone through, I looked through a major
• 11:16
  loss a couple of years ago.
• 11:18
  And prior to that, I hadn't really been through much of a lot.
• 11:21
  I've been through losses of my grandparents and things like that, but nothing significant.
• 11:25
  And I remember finally being struck by how numb might became
• 11:31
  Mhmm.
• 11:31
  Right at the, you know, right as you find out and it was a sudden death also.
• 11:35
  Yeah.
• 11:35
  And I remember sitting, you know, getting the phone call not believing it and sitting in the
• 11:41
  corner of my dressing room, just bawling my eyes out trying to to kind of get space and
• 11:47
  time again.
• 11:48
  Right?
• 11:48
  And then events, you know, went into kind of automatic pilots to do everything I needed to
• 11:53
  do.
• 11:54
  But clearly, what you're saying is that it's about not shutting that down.
• 11:59
  You know, it's about, you know, I would play music was my younger sister.
• 12:03
  I would play music that would bring up the memories of her.
• 12:08
  And, you know, you know, at times, that would be fine.
• 12:12
  And then at times, out of nowhere, I would get a piece of music.
• 12:16
  We you used to like bore George when we were like fourteen, And then I I purposely would
• 12:21
  sometimes play the music to be able to bring up the emotion.
• 12:24
  And I think what you're saying is an kind of traditional philosophy on the Western world,
• 12:30
  you know, people will ask you how you're doing for a bit.
• 12:33
  And then it's kinda like, If it's been 3 months, it's kinda like, oh, how you doing?
• 12:37
  And the perception is that you should answer, I'm okay.
• 12:40
  And, truly, most of us are not okay.
• 12:43
  We're functioning, but we're still feeling the pain.
• 12:46
  So what you're saying is that mindfulness is just about feeling the pain and sitting with it
• 12:52
  and not shutting it off to really distract yourself from what's happening.
• 12:57
  Yeah.
• 12:57
  And, I mean, that works for all us of our life, you know, just sitting with disappointment,
• 13:02
  sitting with its practicing life, like, I like to say, just in the safety of your own room,
• 13:10
  your own chair to sit in, you know, a disappointment that come up to be able to just,
• 13:15
  you know, be with it.
• 13:16
  Instead of like, you know, playing it over and over again in a way that can be really
• 13:22
  destructive.
• 13:23
  It's it's like, just, an acknowledgement, I suppose, that it's happened.
• 13:30
  And then depending if it's a relationship or something, there's something you can always
• 13:34
  what do you want it to be in the future?
• 13:37
  How do you want to change it?
• 13:38
  You can you can practice that in your mind too.
• 13:41
  Meeting the person What are you gonna say?
• 13:42
  How are you gonna react when they, you know, say something that hurts your feelings?
• 13:47
  That way we could practice real life, you know, in the privacy of our own space.
• 13:51
  And then when we go out and we are in these situations, I think, you know, with the neuro
• 13:58
  pathways, right, when you You understand a little bit about creating new neuro pathways in
• 14:03
  the brain.
• 14:04
  I know for myself, because my daughter was sick for 3 years.
• 14:08
  It was a long drawn of illness.
• 14:10
  And so in my mind, I kept saying, I know she I I just I just knew she was going to die.
• 14:16
  It was just something, and and I feel horrible, even admitting that, but, but it that's what
• 14:23
  drove me.
• 14:23
  Drove me to find the best doctors.
• 14:25
  It drove me to do everything.
• 14:27
  It drove me to put my life on hold and care for her.
• 14:30
  You know, that that urgency of that But I I I just, that constant,
• 14:37
  fear cycling
• 14:37
  in my brain.
• 14:37
  You know, it created a nerve pathway that took me to a very dark place.
• 14:45
  And so it was after her passing and their promise and everything.
• 14:49
  It's like, What I didn't realize I was doing as I sat in practice, and I sat in in, you know,
• 14:54
  would reflect.
• 14:56
  You could say meditate mindfulness reflection, same thing.
• 14:59
  Sort of reflecting on stuff, and then finding the gratitude for the good things and making
• 15:05
  plans for for good things to happen in my life, creating a new neuro pathway, you know, because
• 15:11
  we know that, we say negative things, negative things stick like Velcro and positive like
• 15:18
  Teflon, right?
• 15:19
  It slides right off.
• 15:20
  Right?
• 15:20
  So, you know, we have this bank account of negative things in our life and positive.
• 15:25
  And although my understanding is we have more positive things in our lives.
• 15:29
  You know, we remember the negative things, more deeply, they get burned into the long term
• 15:36
  memory because of the emotion that is is there.
• 15:39
  So, So we have these it looks like one one size on overdraft, you know, and and and one's
• 15:46
  completely full.
• 15:48
  But if we really step back and look, there are a lot more positive, but we have to pay more
• 15:54
  attention to them.
• 15:54
  We kind of blow them off.
• 15:55
  You know, someone says, oh, you have a nice dress.
• 15:57
  You go, oh, I bought this on sale.
• 15:59
  This whole thing, you know, it's, you know, it's so it's like a sieve, you know, with this
• 16:04
  these beautiful Good things that happen to us are just just slipping through our fingers.
• 16:09
  You know, we remember all the red lights.
• 16:12
  You know, we always say we were in the longest line up at the grocery store, you know, but we
• 16:16
  forget the person who smiled at us.
• 16:18
  So so part of mindfulness allows us to do things like I know whether you're journaling,
• 16:23
  like for me, you know, journaling, and like I said, doing some reflection and meditations and
• 16:27
  just really an it takes a conscious effort to, to be positive.
• 16:34
  And so I had been rewired to the dark, and it wasn't a quick fix.
• 16:39
  It took a long time, you know, a year or 2 years to come over, to be more positive.
• 16:45
  And And again, it's not a natural thing for a lot of us.
• 16:49
  It's something that we have to really work on.
• 16:53
  Kinda not fair, but And that's the way the brain, you know, that we have the negativity
• 16:58
  bias, you know, because that was the survival.
• 17:01
  Right?
• 17:01
  Going back to prehistoric days, if you made a mistake, you would die.
• 17:05
  Or something nice happened to you.
• 17:07
  You know, that wasn't a big deal back then.
• 17:09
  So we're wired for that, our brain.
• 17:11
  You know?
• 17:11
  So, yeah.
• 17:14
  So let's let's talk a little bit about, if if you say somebody's never tried it before.
• 17:20
  And And what are some, you know, basic things that you can do to to kinda start?
• 17:27
  Like, you talked to you talked already about just being grateful.
• 17:30
  Right?
• 17:30
  So I often see the people, you know, sometimes I close my eyes again, and then I, you know, if
• 17:34
  a negative thought comes up, I will flip it Right?
• 17:38
  And then I'll say, okay, I'm gonna close my eyes again.
• 17:39
  I'm gonna try this again.
• 17:41
  And then I open my eyes and I I try to, you know, remember something positive.
• 17:45
  I'm looking outside into my you know, the forest when I open my eyes, I'm breathing, you
• 17:50
  know, sometimes, you know, just just going to some of the basic things.
• 17:53
  So you talked about gratitude, you talked about really the negativity bias.
• 17:58
  Right?
• 17:58
  So as human beings, fight flight or freeze, we had to survive.
• 18:02
  We did that.
• 18:03
  And now, so our our instinct biologically, to go back to preserve ourselves.
• 18:08
  So even kinda trying to flip, you know, it into a positive.
• 18:12
  What are some other things?
• 18:13
  You talked a little bit about So in order to reflect, do you suggest, breathing, or what
• 18:21
  kind of things do you kind of suggest for people to get into a reflective state?
• 18:25
  Yeah.
• 18:26
  So if we talk about, having a mindfulness practice for that, Well, first off, that you
• 18:33
  could do it anywhere.
• 18:34
  That's the great thing about mindfulness.
• 18:35
  You could do it on the bus.
• 18:36
  You could do walking.
• 18:38
  You could do it sitting.
• 18:40
  We really don't, you know, you don't need fancy footwear and fancy clothes.
• 18:45
  And we know the benefits over 8 weeks, you know, can actually, you know, change the brain,
• 18:50
  which is pretty exciting.
• 18:51
  Pretty exciting to know like 5 to 10 minutes could do that.
• 18:54
  So, sitting wherever you know, in their home, whether they find a a place in their office or
• 19:01
  whatever.
• 19:02
  And, like we said, first focusing on the breath, you know, and why the breath, because
• 19:08
  we can only breathe in the present moment.
• 19:10
  Right?
• 19:11
  So as long as you use that as an anchor, so even if you're excited, or nervous or just
• 19:18
  before you have a difficult phone call to make, just take a breath and check-in, like, what is
• 19:24
  going on, you know, check into your body, do a quick little body scan, am I feeling tension
• 19:30
  somewhere in my body?
• 19:31
  And then just go to the area and just breathe a bit.
• 19:34
  So a simple little thing like that.
• 19:36
  Again, as you were saying, you know, just having a positive reflection, you can do,
• 19:45
  sending loving kindness out to other people to the world.
• 19:48
  Like, that's, like, one of the best things you can do to help heal yourself is putting that
• 19:53
  focus maybe out there on those that you love, your friends, your community, or even just to
• 20:00
  absolutely everybody.
• 20:02
  So the breath, checking in on the body, you could so enhancing a positive quality, again,
• 20:08
  doing a reframing or a pre framing is a is another mindfulness that, that you could do.
• 20:15
  As you meditate, as you first learn to meditate, maybe your 1st couple of weeks.
• 20:21
  So when I when I say, using your breath as an anchor.
• 20:25
  That's that's just sitting there quietly with maybe your eyes, close or soft gaze.
• 20:31
  And just, noticing the breath as it comes in through your nostril and just breathe in and
• 20:37
  out and just keeping that focus there.
• 20:39
  If that's, doesn't feel right, you could also go to the abdomen as you breathe in and out and
• 20:47
  noticing it, as it rises, your inhalation and exhalation.
• 20:52
  After that, once you're pretty good with that, You can count the breaths.
• 20:57
  You can watch clouds go by.
• 20:59
  It's always a nice one.
• 21:01
  And noticing also with the clouds, Thinking off your your your mind as a clear blue sky, and
• 21:09
  the clouds are thoughts.
• 21:11
  So don't get engaged in the thought.
• 21:14
  So there's a, you know, so say you have a thought pops into your head, which, which
• 21:21
  always happens because that's what our brain does.
• 21:24
  We think.
• 21:25
  So a thought comes by and, You say, oh, I need bread.
• 21:30
  Oh, that's fine.
• 21:32
  Just notice it and let it go.
• 21:33
  Right?
• 21:34
  But if you start adding on to the grocery list, right, and you're having coffee and milk and,
• 21:40
  you know, pasta, then come back and re anchor yourself to the breath.
• 21:45
  So breath and, watching your thoughts as as clouds.
• 21:50
  I mean, even with young kids, bubbles, right?
• 21:53
  Placing little animals on their on their stomach.
• 21:55
  I mean, it's wonderful to see mindfulness being used in the schools.
• 21:59
  And just overall the impact of, you know, when we're when we're mindful, then we're more
• 22:05
  connected to ourselves.
• 22:06
  And then in turn, when we're more connected to ourselves, we're more connected to others.
• 22:10
  So can can you talk a little bit about, like, mindfulness in workplaces and kind of some of
• 22:15
  the work you've done or or some of the impacted you know, mindfulness is done for, work work
• 22:21
  environments.
• 22:22
  Yes.
• 22:22
  I've been very lucky to bring it into, schools.
• 22:25
  There's some, workplaces.
• 22:27
  I mean, we know that, you know, stress is, you know, one of the greatest stressors, I guess,
• 22:33
  in the workplace.
• 22:34
  I think it's something like So over a bill $1,600,000,000 is loss of productivity because
• 22:39
  of stress.
• 22:40
  And, and people not knowing, how to deal with that, mindfulness has has been proven through
• 22:48
  thousands of research pieces to reduce, stress at work, sleep, anxiety.
• 22:56
  I mean, it's good for eating habits.
• 22:58
  I mean, I mean, you name it.
• 23:00
  It's it's a full broad spectrum of a benefit for, for using mindfulness.
• 23:07
  So when we typically go in and and maybe go to a place, we, we like to So when I say we, so
• 23:13
  myself and my husband, Arunas and tonight, and so we have mindful solutions for change, which
• 23:19
  which works with, companies, organizations, and, personal, coaching.
• 23:26
  We like to bring in some of the the mindfulness practice, plus also some of the neuroscience,
• 23:34
  because again, people need need to understand that, how it works, stuff like talking about
• 23:40
  multitasking, you know, how we think multitasking is this great thing, right?
• 23:44
  Oh, wow.
• 23:45
  I mean, I used to think it was great.
• 23:46
  I could, you know, put something here and, you know, unpack your groceries and wash the dishes
• 23:52
  and talk talk on the phone until, you know, you find your socks in the freezer.
• 23:56
  Right?
• 23:57
  You know, it's just it's gonna fail.
• 23:59
  So We tried to bring it into the workplace in a playful way, so it's not in a strict
• 24:05
  environment.
• 24:07
  They can play with it.
• 24:08
  Them cells.
• 24:08
  So again, you know, learning about the negativity bias, learning about multitasking,
• 24:14
  creating positive mindset maybe doing some types of reframing, pre framing exercises.
• 24:19
  If you have a difficult customer, like I said, difficult phone call, we have these cards that
• 24:24
  you would think of a quality to you and take that into the into the situation that you're
• 24:32
  going into.
• 24:32
  So that might be patience or kindness or forgiveness or, you know, a quality that they
• 24:38
  might not think to rely on when they typically interact with somebody.
• 24:42
  Giving them a different lens to look through.
• 24:44
  So that's sort of a piece of it.
• 24:46
  What else?
• 24:47
  So we do some meditations.
• 24:49
  I mean, We know now that, the new lens that they're looking at leadership are these, you
• 24:55
  know, what are considered soft qualities, right?
• 24:58
  Which is having compassion in the workplace, the under understanding, being able to
• 25:02
  cooperate with people.
• 25:04
  You know, all of these things are critical, you know, as equal to an education job experience.
• 25:11
  You know, we're look they're looking now.
• 25:13
  They you know, have expanded this as this is something important.
• 25:16
  I mean, Google, Harvard, you know, all of these large corporations, they're New General Mills,
• 25:23
  etcetera, are bringing it in mindfulness practice.
• 25:27
  It's allowing people to, take even take a break.
• 25:31
  You know, taking a 15 minute break to just go sit quietly away from, you know, the busy
• 25:37
  activity at the workplace allows you to go back and be stronger, you know, and, and more
• 25:43
  present.
• 25:45
  It certainly helps with gossiping and, conflict?
• 25:51
  So just overall, like, I mean, if you look at the impact of stress and different work
• 25:56
  environments and, you know, stress is one of the biggest, like you said, $1,600,000,000,
• 26:01
  right?
• 26:02
  And every industry and and sector or schools.
• 26:05
  If you think of, you know, like, with the schools and the amount of kids that are
• 26:09
  struggling with the mental health at a maybe young age, which, you know, and so they're not
• 26:14
  whether there's stuff going on, they don't know how to quiet their mind.
• 26:17
  So just to think of the gift naturally.
• 26:19
  I think when you see most children, they kinda know how to do that, but it's almost like they
• 26:24
  unlearn it.
• 26:24
  So it's almost like reacquainting those.
• 26:27
  With that concept because I think naturally, if I think of my son, I would look at him, and I
• 26:31
  would see him so completely being in the moment.
• 26:34
  And then you could see as he started to be a little bit old or how he he was just shifting
• 26:38
  out because he was so much more conscious of everything and then was the opposite of kind of
• 26:43
  when he was younger.
• 26:44
  You know, and really, you know, if you think about the claims that we're seeing for mental
• 26:48
  health, really, and stress being one of the biggest causes, you know, whether it's It's a
• 26:53
  anxiety and depression, whether it's biological or not.
• 26:56
  It's really it's quite kind of the thing that I think most of us need to learn today to do
• 27:01
  well.
• 27:02
  And to your point, it may not be something that's really, really long, like, long in
• 27:07
  length.
• 27:07
  It could be as little as let me try this for 5 minutes.
• 27:09
  So I can look at the sky and clear my mind and and let things pass by.
• 27:14
  But at first, I I would you agree that it's it's difficult if you've not done it because
• 27:19
  you think you're doing it wrong.
• 27:21
  So with people that are having difficulty, what kind of what kind of words of of, guidance
• 27:26
  would you give them?
• 27:28
  Yeah.
• 27:28
  It's funny because when they first it to meditate, sometimes the thoughts get worse, but
• 27:34
  busy, busy, busy mind.
• 27:36
  And they tend to wanna blame it, on the meditation.
• 27:39
  Okay.
• 27:40
  She made me sit here now.
• 27:41
  I'm really, really bad.
• 27:41
  My mind But if, if you think of it as, driving down a highway and you're in a car and you're
• 27:52
  going 120 miles an hour, Maybe not because that's not the speed limit.
• 27:55
  You're going a 100, and everyone around you's going a 100.
• 27:58
  You really don't feel like you're moving.
• 28:00
  Right?
• 28:00
  You're just kinda, oh, yeah.
• 28:01
  I'm driving.
• 28:02
  Right.
• 28:02
  But then you get a flat higher, and you pull over, and then, all of a sudden, you look up,
• 28:07
  and all the cars are going zoom zoom zoom, zoom, right, is flying by you because you've
• 28:12
  stopped for that moment.
• 28:14
  So it's kinda like that's what it feels like when you first start meditating.
• 28:18
  It's like, oh, man.
• 28:19
  They're coming.
• 28:19
  They're coming.
• 28:20
  And they're for some people, they may wanna quit, but I always advise them don't.
• 28:26
  And don't again, part of mindfulness is don't judge.
• 28:30
  Because you're not always gonna have a perfect sit.
• 28:33
  So although the idea is, you know, once you're a little more familiar is to always Get up
• 28:39
  again a little earlier than than you would want to.
• 28:41
  So then you then you want to sit down again and and sit quietly.
• 28:45
  So so again, just understand that that's just the mind and nothing's wrong, I think, is the
• 28:51
  best thing And the ability just to, like, see if they just start counting.
• 28:56
  So so I would say, you know, just count from 1 to 10.
• 28:59
  If you mind wanders, start back to 1 again.
• 29:02
  Use that as your Medicare account when Stanford wanders keep coming back.
• 29:06
  And and part of that is knowing that we can always start over again.
• 29:10
  In anything in the workplace, when we make a mistake, anything, we can always come back to a
• 29:15
  new beginning.
• 29:16
  And I think that's a powerful point of mindfulness too.
• 29:19
  You know, because we always think this, you know, this is over because, you know, I did
• 29:24
  this one thing, but, no, we can always start.
• 29:27
  Over against dark fresh.
• 29:29
  Yeah.
• 29:29
  So companies that are having, which we know, like you said, if it's, you know, as high as it
• 29:33
  is in reference to, money's lost, for companies that are thinking about implementing,
• 29:40
  mindfulness, what kind of what are some of the things that they should look into or consider
• 29:44
  to to implement a, mindfulness program.
• 29:48
  It's really helpful to have mindfulness from the top down, you know, that the leaders are
• 29:53
  doing it.
• 29:54
  Then they're leading by example.
• 29:55
  And, you know, once you've gone and retreat or something, someone you'll come back and they'll
• 30:00
  be like, What's different about you?
• 30:03
  Did you do something with your hair?
• 30:05
  Like, like, there's something.
• 30:06
  Right?
• 30:07
  So definitely, if you can, I think, or everyone, should be included in the
• 30:12
  opportunity, take you some mindfulness training just like you wouldn't ask one of your
• 30:18
  employees, I think, to teach Italian, give them a book and say, no, no, teach it?
• 30:24
  I don't think it's a great thing to just give someone a book on mindfulness and say teach it.
• 30:29
  I think the person needs to know a little bit more.
• 30:31
  They need to be trained somewhere on mindfulness and and and have their own practice
• 30:37
  so that they really embody it and there's some authenticity.
• 30:40
  I I know in school, it won't won't pass a smell test with the kids.
• 30:45
  You know,
• 30:45
  if you're not really living it, you know, if
• 30:47
  you're a
• 30:47
  kid and, you're yelling and screaming at the kids, it's not gonna work or at work.
• 30:52
  Like, we know at work.
• 30:53
  And and and I was in the army.
• 30:54
  So, like, we had yelled at all the time.
• 30:56
  Right?
• 30:57
  And we were I don't wanna say fear driven, but it was always very important.
• 31:00
  We were doing follow orders especially you're out in the field.
• 31:04
  But I think in the workplace, that doesn't work when someone's hammering at you or humiliating
• 31:09
  you or or something like that.
• 31:10
  Like, you know, that old school.
• 31:12
  I wanna call it.
• 31:14
  I know I had some teachers like that in elementary school going way back.
• 31:19
  The corner of it gum on your nose, something like that.
• 31:21
  I mean, that way of humiliating people just doesn't work anymore.
• 31:24
  So we have to have that mindset of, equanimity and, working with others, and and that these
• 31:33
  are qualities of mindfulness.
• 31:33
  So I mean, there there are you know, having presence.
• 31:37
  I mean, and I don't know him off the top of my head, but John Cabotson, you know, he has the 7
• 31:42
  qualities of mindfulness.
• 31:44
  So you, you know, it just really can transform you.
• 31:48
  And when it transforms you, it transformed your workplace, it transforms you at home because at
• 31:53
  work, you can't forget about home.
• 31:55
  At home, you can't forget about work.
• 31:57
  So you you can't try to solve this on one side.
• 32:03
  Right?
• 32:04
  People are stressed.
• 32:05
  They're worried.
• 32:06
  They're, we have more going on in our lives right now than ever before.
• 32:12
  And so even if they do the 5 minutes, even if, in the workplace, they provide a space for them
• 32:20
  to just go and sit, but bringing someone in would be helpful even even as simple as, you
• 32:26
  know, ringing a bell, you know, just to be calm, the little tricks like playing cards
• 32:33
  during a meeting.
• 32:34
  So everyone sets an intention before they start an intention that's equality to be kind or to
• 32:41
  be patient or to show respect, you know, and then it just keeps tumbling and carrying
• 32:46
  forward.
• 32:48
  It's it it's so sounds so simple, I think, because now it used to be kind of thought of as
• 32:53
  woo woo kind of thing.
• 32:54
  Right?
• 32:54
  But now people are recognizing with the levels of stress that we're seeing across the board.
• 32:59
  And, of course, stress, like, gets defined in different ways, anxiety, depression, you know,
• 33:04
  we'll see peep a lot more people with sleeplessness, a lot, you know, lots of things
• 33:08
  are out of kilter like your point is if I'm more relaxed, or able to kind of I'll I call it
• 33:14
  in I say it's almost like an emotional release of indigestion in a way of emotions.
• 33:20
  Right?
• 33:20
  So if I'm a if I can kind of kind of sift it off and let it go as much as I can daily, then
• 33:26
  I'm able to focus more with a clear mind.
• 33:29
  But if my if I'm kinda, you know, packing it in and then I try to kind of, you know, keep at
• 33:35
  that level at some point, something's gotta give.
• 33:37
  And I you know, in our workplace today, you know, gone of the days with it's mostly
• 33:41
  physical.
• 33:41
  If we know what we use, you and I, in our past, as keenote speakers and trainers and coaches,
• 33:47
  we're using our brain all the time.
• 33:49
  Well, guess what?
• 33:50
  So our brain's gonna get tired and stressed.
• 33:53
  Right?
• 33:53
  It needs it's it needs a relaxation and to the point that how how do we how do we learn how to
• 33:59
  do that?
• 33:59
  We have to go to people that do it all the time.
• 34:02
  They live it.
• 34:03
  They may have high powered situations.
• 34:05
  They've been there, done that, but they actually embody that whole concept of
• 34:09
  relaxation.
• 34:10
  So I think it's a it's a wonderful thing that you're doing out there, in the workplaces and
• 34:16
  schools schools more than ever, I think, to your point, start really, really young as
• 34:21
  something that's a given.
• 34:22
  But on the other end of with with leadership, you know, we know that if we see our leader
• 34:28
  engaging in something, that's positive.
• 34:31
  We're gonna, more than likely, follow his guys, here's of her guide.
• 34:34
  But if they're you know, not following that.
• 34:37
  You know, it's kind of we there's a less of an expectation that any of us should follow the
• 34:41
  guidance of of our leader.
• 34:43
  So, Sharon, I'm sure people probably wanna learn more.
• 34:47
  They may have maybe events coming up for speaking, or they may want to reach out and
• 34:52
  potentially look at, training, in mindfulness, where can they get a hold of you?
• 34:58
  And I'm sure people would love to reach out.
• 35:02
  So they can get a hold of me at mindful solutions for change.
• 35:06
  So that is the website.
• 35:09
  But I, but I also offer that there's so much online, some wonderful programs that they are
• 35:17
  able to to go on and and and download, meditations, reflections, and that there's
• 35:23
  mindfulness Hamilton, my fullness, Toronto, But definitely if you're looking at something for
• 35:28
  corporations, there's, you know, and you and you want someone to come in, then that's
• 35:33
  certainly something we can do.
• 35:36
  So my fault solutions for change it, and the number's 905-818-7871.
• 35:42
  Yeah.
• 35:42
  We were really we're really passionate.
• 35:44
  We we'd love to go in and see big changes.
• 35:47
  We worked with one company for almost a year, just going in once or twice a month, and they
• 35:53
  were running a resilience program.
• 35:55
  And and when they, did a an audit of all the participants.
• 36:00
  They said, what was one most important piece of, of this work we've done all year?
• 36:05
  And they said, it was bringing in the mindfulness instructors.
• 36:08
  So so we were, yeah, we were happy to hear that.
• 36:11
  Oh, that's amazing stuff.
• 36:13
  For sharing a pleasure.
• 36:15
  Thanks so much.
• 36:16
  It it really, you know, makes me reflect on my own practice, and I know I I do it, and then I
• 36:21
  don't and things like that, how important it is.
• 36:24
  And so for everyone listening, please reach out to Sharon if you have any needs.
• 36:28
  And I guess to to to the leaders, or the teachers out there, you know, just think that
• 36:35
  you are you are the the one that people look up to.
• 36:39
  You are the one that we're looking to to take your guide.
• 36:42
  So ready to, if you've not tried it, you know, ready to consider, you know, like, Sharon St.
• 36:48
  Going online and trying to start to even try it for 5 minutes here or there and, start to see
• 36:54
  if you can increase it.
• 36:56
  And, or breath to your point keeps us present.
• 36:59
  Start there.
• 36:59
  That's really, really basic.
• 37:01
  And as you start to do that, it gets a little bit easier.
• 37:04
  So, for anyone wanting more information on me, I can be reached at roxanderhodge.com.
• 37:10
  I'm a mental health and wellness specialist and a keynote speaker trainer and coach.
• 37:14
  So, again, Sharon, thanks a lot for your time and for everyone listening.
• 37:17
  Thanks for tuning in, and we'll talk to you again next week.
• 37:21
  Thanks for tuning in to authentic living with Roxanne, creating the space for positive,
• 37:27
  healthy change.
• 37:28
  Roxanne is a keynote speaker, Psycho therapist and coach to work with Roxanne, visit
• 37:34
  rocksandurhaj.com/blueprint.
• 37:38
  We'll see you next time.
• 37:40
  On authentic living with Roxanne.