Latest / The Growth Project / Growth Spurt: How You Respond Matters

Transcript

Growth Spurt: How You Respond Matters · The Growth Project

• 0:02
  You.
• 0:04
  A lot of times people think relationships are built in hard times when really the rubber hits the road. But
• 0:09
  there's a lot of research that goes to show how we respond when someone shares good news matters just as much.
• 0:15
  A distracted that's great or a thumbs up tells people their wind doesn't really land with us. And the name of this tool is called active Constructive responding.
• 0:25
  And the general idea of it is when someone shares a win with you, respond with genuine interest and energy. Ask them a follow up question. Name. What impressed you? Name? What was so great about that news, and invite them to say more, because you can hear the difference when someone comes to you with great news like, hey, I just got a promotion.
• 0:43
  A lot of times we default to, hey, that's great, and then our eyes are still on our phone or our mind is elsewhere, whereas the other side of it is an active, constructive response would sound like that's huge. You worked really, really hard for that. How did it feel when you found out? You can hear the differences in those responses and ultimately it works because people feel seen when you help them relive the moment, not just acknowledge it.
• 1:10
  So in its simplest terms, really, it comes down to celebrating well, builds connection. It helps to build the relationship with the other person, both personally and professionally.
• 1:20
  Those lukewarm replies, those check the box replies, if you will, where you have the thumbs up and you hit them with the nice. That's great, and you can go back to whatever you're doing.
• 1:28
  Actually show evidence that that erodes the relationship. It's the idea that that person chose you to come to with their good news. And when you do, help them relive it, when you when you reply in an active, constructive way where you ask follow up questions, you show that genuine interest. They don't just get to enjoy that good news once they get to enjoy it again with you, someone they felt as though they wanted to share that good news with.
• 1:53
  So the next time someone shares good news with you, put your phone down. Take a look at them. Name. What impressed you? Use some paraphrasing, use some summarizing and ask them a follow up question. Invite them to say more. Do whatever you can to keep the spotlight on them without turning it into your story or excusing your busyness.