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Christian mean Girls: How to identify them and love them · The Living Freed Podcast

0:20
All right, everyone. Welcome to the Living Free
0:22
Podcast. I have a fabulous guest with me here
0:25
today, my friend Haley. I met Haley through her
0:29
grandma as... Everyone literally meets Haley
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through her grandma. How many friends have you
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made without your grandma's help, Haley? Literally
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none. But it's because your grandma's awesome.
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No church friends. No church friends. But I do.
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I love your grandma. I love you. Haley has been
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like the extra little sister I always needed
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in my life, just from up north. She brings the
0:51
Yankee attitude that I need also in this southern
0:54
culture. It's been great. Second favorite redhead
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because I have a cousin that's a redhead. I have
0:59
to pick her first. No, that's about it. You know.
1:01
If she didn't exist, you would be number one,
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though. Hailey did inspire my current hair color,
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though, I will say. It's just the darker version
1:09
of you. I'm twin. Twin. Hailey and I went to
1:13
the same culty church for a minute there. Yes.
1:15
We were just talking about it earlier. Talking
1:16
about going back. Talking about visiting, you
1:18
know, going back to the stopping grounds. You
1:20
know, good old turning back to Sodom and Gomorrah.
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It's horrible. It's horrible. but it's what we're
1:26
feeling. Haley, what do you want people to know?
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What are you in school for right now? Occupational
1:31
therapy. Okay. And what is the like passion behind
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that? I love how holistic OT is. I love that
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I can like work in a hospital or I can work in
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like an outpatient facility where like, I would
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love to work at Eastern therapy. Do you know
1:49
where that is? Yeah. I would love to work there.
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It's a dream. They do like natural medicine.
1:53
I could work for a naturopath. Oh, that would
1:56
be so cool. That would be really cool. Yeah.
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And how far along are you in your program? I
2:02
have two years left. Easy. Yeah. You've got this.
2:06
You're going to crush it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And
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then you work at Starbucks. So she's our coffee
2:11
queen. Yes. And you work so much, actually. I
2:16
know. Every time I talk to you, you're working.
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I know. You're never not. Well, I've been working,
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like, every day. Really? Yeah. Well, you just
2:23
were telling me earlier you did 12 -hour shifts,
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and I think that's insane. I know. It's horrible.
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I'm never going to complain about my 9 -hour
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shifts again. I know. I'm literally going to
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get freaking bunions. What type of shoes do you
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wear at work? I have to wear, like, non -slip
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waterproof ones, and I just got insoles for them,
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and they've been helping a lot. Oh, good. Do
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you wear, like, compression socks at night or
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anything? No. No, but I think I should, honestly.
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I think you should. I put a heating, like, a
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corn bag on my feet. Do you really? Yeah. I believe
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that, actually. I do compression socks, like,
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a couple times a week. Really? Yeah, because
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they have, like, short ankle ones, and with being
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on my feet for nine hours, it helps. They're
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ugly. They're not – compression socks aren't
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cute, but – Do you wear them with shorts? Well,
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I sleep in them. I don't wear them. I know I'm
3:09
supposed to wear them, but they really are ugly.
3:11
I can show you them later. I have like neon green
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ones with like black stripes. They're all, my
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mom bought them for me. They came in a pack.
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It's neon pink, neon blue, and neon green. And
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it's just like black stripes going across, almost
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like a zebra. Like picture those like socks you
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would get if you went to the trampoline park.
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yeah yeah but they're compression like they're
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just really ugly so I can't wear them in public
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see I can't sleep in socks though it's like a
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sensory thing yeah it freaks me out don't get
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me wrong I think I definitely take them off in
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the middle of the night but they're there yeah
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just like everything else I do yeah um Haley
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also has a boyfriend she's doing long distance
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with how's that going it's going good we're like
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not doing long distance basically I see him like
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every weekend Which is nice. You just fly up
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to Connecticut all the time. Well, I've been
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going, well, we've been going back and forth.
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He's come down here like three times. Does he
4:00
like North Carolina? I think he does. Yeah. He
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likes the beach and stuff. Okay. And like, it's
4:06
warmer here. Yeah, he better like it. Would he
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ever consider moving out of Connecticut? Yeah.
4:11
Okay, his goal isn't to stay there? No. It's
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too cold. No. It is. Especially in the winter.
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It's terrible. Yeah, it's horrible. He likes
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South Carolina. When he came down here this past
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trip, we went to Conway. His family lives there.
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Oh. Yeah. Good old South Carolina. Yeah. So he
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likes Carolina. He likes Charleston and stuff.
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Charleston's its own beast. It's separate from
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South Carolina. I love Charleston. It's like
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Charleston and then the rest is South Carolina.
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Charleston's just very bougie. It is so bougie.
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But it's cute. I would probably want to live
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there like 10 years ago. Like 10 years ago Charleston
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where it wasn't as bougie and as expensive but
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still a vibe I could get down with. Now it seems
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too like performative touristy. Really? Do you
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not agree? I would live in Charleston. Okay.
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I have a few friends that have moved there from
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Wilmington. I would probably rather live... In
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Charleston than Wilmington. Oh my gosh, yeah.
5:10
Okay, yeah. Yeah. No, there's no debate about
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that. We live in Wilmington, babe. It's not that
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great. Like, don't get me wrong. I love our city.
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But, I mean, if we're going to get into the what's
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in and what's out, you already know what I'm
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saying is out. Like, it's just been a wreck down
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here. If I've had to stay, if I have to stay
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in the Carolinas, I would rather, I would pick
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Charleston over anywhere else. Yeah. Like, to
5:33
settle down and have family and stuff. Yeah.
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Not Charleston, but, like, outside of Charleston.
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Yeah, that's what I was going to say. You could
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just be outside of Charleston. Yeah. I used to
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think raising a family in Wilmington would be,
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like, great. And then doing hair here, I've talked
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to the parents who have kids in school here,
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and I'm like, oh, that's terrible. And then I,
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everything that's happening, happening downtown,
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the nightlife, I'm like, oh, people are just
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getting stabbed randomly? No, thank you. Did
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you see the guy, okay, what's that, what's that
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place in Ridgefield? Tower? Tower 7. Yeah, did
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you see the guy walking? Oh, like, on the top
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of the roof? Like, he was Spider -Man and stuff?
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Yeah. Oh, yeah, girl. I'm calling Wrightsville
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Beach Diaries. I see all the things that happened
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down there. I was like, what is this guy doing?
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There was, like, cops trying to get him down.
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Yes. He looked like Spider -Man. There's, like,
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no other scene like Wrightsville Beach. Like,
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that is a whole other beast. You never know what
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you're going to witness down there. I went down
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there the other night because my friend Sophia
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from Connecticut, she just moved down here. And
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she literally just moved to Wilmington like two
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weeks ago. Oh, love that. And we went to Wrightsville
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at night and like we're walking around like I
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was showing her jimmies and stuff. Did y 'all
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go into jimmies? No. Oh. No. That's too much.
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That is too much. I can't do jimmies anymore.
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No. It looks cute inside there though. I never
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noticed, like I never saw them having like fairy
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lights and stuff. Oh, yeah. It's cute. And the
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dollars everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. And the bathroom
6:58
that always smells like throw up. Yeah. Yeah,
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it's terrible. I remember one time my friends
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texted me and they were like, we're going out.
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I said, okay, great. Text me when and where.
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I'm putting on my makeup. I'm getting dressed.
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They're like, okay, we're at Jimmy's. I said,
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you guys have so much fun. Good night. And I
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went to the bathroom and wiped my makeup off
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and got in bed. Now that I'm 21, I want to go
7:17
to Concord. So bad. We have to. We have to. Dude,
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I want to go so bad. I want to go so bad. I've
7:25
been dying to go since I was 18. Okay, we'll
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go. You invite whoever you want, but I want to
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go now, too. I love Concord. I've never, I've
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literally, what, they kicked me out at five.
7:33
Oh, yeah. I bet they do kick you out at five.
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So, yeah, I want to go to Concord. Get your espresso
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martini. I know. Or would you just get normal,
7:42
like, a mocktail? No, I'd get expressive. Would
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you? Okay. You went through that stage where
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you weren't really drinking, so I wasn't sure
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if we were still doing that. That stage. Okay,
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great. Do you want to go to the country bar with
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me and try line dancing? Bro, yes, I will. That'd
7:56
be so fun. I've been trying to get someone to
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go with me. I'm collecting a group of people
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that want to try line dancing that's not all
8:01
the way up in Jacksonville. Didn't you go with
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me? Line dancing once? No, I don't think so.
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Oh, wait. That was Jeannie. Yeah. Yeah. How is
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she? She's good. She lives in Florida. Oh. She
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moved. Good for her. Yep. She lives in, like,
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I think Port St. Lucie. Oh. I've heard it's nice
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over there. Yeah. Hmm. It's really nice. This
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is where her mom lives and stuff. Oh. Well, that's
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nice when she's around family. Yeah. She's doing
8:27
good. She's doing good. I saw her for Valentine's
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Day. She came back up, and then I - Yeah. Your
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grandma told me that. Yeah. We got a little Airbnb
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downtown. That's cute. That was fun. I love that.
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I love downtown when people aren't being stabbed
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or shot. I know. It's a great time. Someone got
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stabbed? Was that last week? No. Someone got
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shot last week. And then the last few weeks,
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months, people have been getting stabbed. And
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they die. So I just haven't gone out. People
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have been like, do you want to go out? I'm like,
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I choose life, actually. Believe it or not. Shocking
9:02
for me, I choose life. I won't be going out.
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But now I do have a hankering to like go out
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and go dancing. I'm like, should I just scratch
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that itch? I texted my brother because I'm going
9:13
to Raleigh this weekend. And I was like, oh,
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do you want to hang out? And he goes, oh, I'm
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triple booked this weekend. I was like, I guess
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I'm not going out in Raleigh either. I'm just
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going to hang out with my sister and the babies.
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Yeah, I'll be fine. It'll be fun. I haven't like
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gone out since I turned 21 because I don't I
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don't like to do that. Like I'll drink. It's
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like settings like Concord or like I went out
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to. endoshin the other night yeah a couple of
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the girls for my birthday and um i got like a
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drawing that is fine but i do not want to go
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no like i do not want i would never go to jimmy's
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jimmy's is my personal hell actually like if
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i wasn't a believer and god was gonna send me
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to hell it would look like jimmy's just like
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freezing cold in there That's what it would be.
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I know. It smells bad. There's also always people,
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like, throwing up outside. Ew, yeah. Like, near
10:01
that little ice cream shop. Always. Again, Jimmy's
10:04
is actually my personal hell. Jimmy's is gross.
10:07
You can get me in there for about five minutes,
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and then I say, okay, I'll sit outside. I'll
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wait for y 'all to be done. I will actually go
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sit at another bar by myself before I'll stay
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in Jimmy's. There's also so many Marines at Jimmy's.
10:18
There's also so many old guys hitting on you
10:21
in Jimmy's. Yeah, I know. There's just all...
10:24
If I had to go to Jimmy's, though, it would be,
10:26
like, during the day. Oh, yeah, like, a Sunday
10:27
afternoon is a totally different vibe. Yeah,
10:30
because at night, it's just scary. Yeah. Friday
10:32
night. Middle of the day, it's actually kind
10:34
of vibey. Like, you get a slushie, it's whatever.
10:36
Yeah, like, yeah, I've seen people do that, and
10:38
that's fun. Yeah. But I just want to go to Concord.
10:43
And what was that, like, rooftop bar that we
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went to with Jeannie that one time? Oh, Cloud
10:47
9. Cloud 9. I want to be able to go there and
10:49
not have an X on my hand. Because last time I
10:52
went, I saw Anne. Yeah, they had to draw that
10:54
on there. We'll go. We'll do a list of all the
10:56
cocktail bars in town. Yeah. Like, that stuff
10:58
is fun. That's cute. Yeah. I do like a cocktail
11:01
bar. There's that one, the Piano Bar, above Yosaki,
11:05
and it's really nice. It's cute. That is cute.
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Mm -hmm. All right, you want to get into what's
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in and what's out? Yes. Okay. So I'll start us
11:13
so you can think about it. My what's in is the
11:17
beach, because it's June. It's beautiful. The
11:19
water's great. It's getting warm. I love the
11:22
sand. It's therapeutic. But my what's out very
11:26
specifically is Wrightsville Beach. I hate that
11:28
beach. The parking is, what, like $5, $6 an hour
11:31
now? Yep. You can't find parking. No. Even if
11:34
you are going to pay an arm and a leg to park.
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And then the beach itself, no one has beach etiquette
11:39
there. Like, everyone wants to – you could be
11:42
sitting, touching the water with your feet in
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the water, and someone's still going to come
11:46
up and sit directly in front of you. They are.
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That's how it feels. So I don't like Wrightsville
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Beach. I'm going to go over to, like, Topsail.
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Topsail's so nice. Have you been yet? Of course.
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I never see you there. Well, I don't post when
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I'm at the beach. You don't see me at Wrightsville
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either. I'm not posting when I'm there. I don't
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tell people my moves. Are you kidding me? People
12:10
don't even know when I leave the state half the
12:11
time. I know. Like Nikki, she texted me. She
12:15
goes, you're in California right now. And I was
12:16
like, oh yeah, I've been here for three days.
12:19
Sorry. I thought when you were in Iceland. I
12:21
was just like, what's she doing there, guys?
12:23
I was like, what the hell? Yeah, that's just
12:26
me. Like, I'm not going to tell people what beach
12:29
I'm at. You know how many people would, like,
12:31
follow me and try to find me there? It's actually
12:33
scary, the stalkers I've had in my life. I know
12:36
someone would try to pull up. Me, I'm one of
12:38
them. Like, Hannah! What are you doing here?
12:42
You're at Topsail. That's so wild. No, I like
12:45
South Topsail because they have free parking.
12:48
North Topsail has free parking. No, at the very
12:52
bottom of South Topsail has free parking. Where?
12:54
Serenity Point? Right by the water tower. Yeah.
12:59
But I don't really like North Topsail. My best
13:01
friend's grandma lives on one of the canals by
13:05
North Topsail, so I'll park at her house. But
13:08
I don't know. It's just like a lot of hotels
13:12
over there and stuff. North Topsail's okay. I
13:15
don't know. I feel like the sand isn't as nice
13:16
on that side, though. Yeah. Because... Whenever
13:19
I go to South Top, so, like, I'll go to Serenity
13:21
Point. Yeah. And it's, like, that, like, inlet
13:24
there. Yes. And the sand is so much softer. It
13:26
is. And there's also no ants. Oh, the ants. Bro,
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I have so many, like, bites on me right now.
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We were on the south side of Wrightsville one
13:36
time, and my mom got a pizza, and she left it,
13:38
like, the box on the sand. And she's like, oh,
13:40
get a slice, because it was my mom and my aunt.
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And it was covered in ants. And I was like, I'd
13:45
rather starve. Thank you. And my Aunt Michelle
13:47
was like, it's protein. It's fine. You can just,
13:49
like, shake them off. I said, actually, beach
13:52
ants? Is protein crazy? This is crazy. It's very
13:57
her. She's a boy mom. But I was like, ew. I can't
14:00
do that. Yeah, no. Okay, what's your, what's
14:02
in? Sundresses. But not really sundresses. Skirts.
14:07
Skirts. Skirts are better. I like skirts. I like.
14:10
tube top and skirts oh it's a vibe yes that's
14:13
what I got from I went to Aerie today and I got
14:15
a tube top and a skirt for the graduation party
14:17
on Saturday I want to get a tube top from Aerie
14:20
they're actually they have like bras in them
14:22
so you don't I like that with like the shelf
14:24
yeah the shelf but like it's like yeah padded
14:28
is it padded or not padded not padded that's
14:30
fine I don't need a pad yeah I love it. I love
14:34
a tube top. I don't need it anymore. Yeah, I
14:40
love a tube top. And honestly, yeah, you're right
14:42
with a skirt, like a mid -length skirt. Or is
14:44
it like what type of skirt? Let me show you.
14:46
Yeah, you're not. Where's my phone? It's charging.
14:48
Oh, it's out there. You can show me later. Okay.
14:50
Okay, what's your what's out? Um, being on my
14:53
phone. Yeah, my screen time is high. Do you know
14:58
what your highest screen time has been? Yeah,
15:00
I don't want to say it. I think the highest mine
15:03
has ever been was when I was recovering from
15:05
my surgery last week. It was easily, I think
15:07
it told me it was like eight hours and 23 minutes.
15:11
A day? Yeah, a day. Because, hey. All right.
15:14
That made me feel better. Because I have this
15:16
game I play. So I was watching Summer House,
15:19
the TV show, and playing a game on my phone the
15:21
whole time. Like genuinely the whole time. Because
15:24
I'm addicted. I'm addicted to Gardenscape. Have
15:29
you heard of it? No. I started it last year with
15:33
my first surgery where you have to like match
15:36
things to like complete levels, but then you
15:39
have like only a certain amount of moves you
15:40
can make and then you get stars. And if you get
15:43
stars, you get to decorate your garden. Which
15:47
I love. I love making decisions. But then there's
15:50
also a whole other part of the game that you
15:51
go through a maze and you have to use PowerPoints
15:54
to break through the maze to get more lives to
15:56
be able to play the game longer. And I'm trapped
15:58
in a vicious circle. Right now I'm growing my
16:00
birds in the game. Yeah. There's a lot happening.
16:04
You have to show me it. There's a lot happening.
16:07
I need a good. Well, no, I wasn't saying I need
16:08
a good game. I don't. I need to get off my phone.
16:10
You don't. Okay, so. I'm addicted to like Instagram
16:13
reels. Are you? I'm not kidding. I have brain
16:16
rot. You're just really Instagram reels. Yes,
16:19
I literally do scroll. Not even TikTok. You're
16:22
doing secondhand TikTok. Yeah, I literally do
16:25
scroll. Okay, so what is your feed like? Is it
16:29
funny stuff or is it motivational or dances?
16:32
Definitely not motivational. She's so far from
16:35
it. I think it's funny. You would be confused
16:40
though because we're just from different times.
16:45
We still are though. You'd be like, your generation
16:49
is weird. Yeah, I would. I would be like, what
16:51
is this? What does this even mean? it's like
16:55
people like getting hit by cars okay well dark
17:00
humor is different i find dark humor hilarious
17:02
i i was giggling at something today i should
17:05
not have giggled at it was this guy who was he
17:08
trying to do oh he was trying to cross this creek
17:11
and he was like making a joke about it um an
17:16
Australian accent and he takes a rope swing and
17:18
he tries to go across it and he only like halfway
17:20
gets there and his feet are on the end like trying
17:22
to grasp and then he realizes he can't so you
17:25
watch him just ping back and forth trying to
17:28
get momentum to get over and then he just falls
17:30
in the water on his back and I was like that's
17:31
hilarious. Do you watch Instagram reels? No.
17:34
No? My sister sent me a lot and I would watch
17:38
the ones she sent me. My brothers send them to
17:41
me. They don't listen to this podcast, so I can
17:42
say this. My brothers send them to me. I don't
17:44
watch them. I just react to it and I move on
17:48
with my life. And I do that with a lot of people,
17:51
actually. People definitely do that to me. I
17:53
spam them. I spam them Instagram rules. It's
17:57
horrible. Yeah, don't spam me because I will
18:00
never respond. Yeah, I won't. Laughing emoji,
18:02
but you didn't watch it. Yeah, you'd be like,
18:04
that person died. yeah they just die you're like
18:10
I just put my heart out to you in this Instagram
18:12
reel you laughed at it like yeah but no it's
18:16
definitely not motivational no there's like three
18:18
people my sister my friend Nikki and then Serena
18:22
sometimes Serena not all the time Serena she
18:25
sends me I don't get Serena's humor so like she'll
18:28
send me things and I've just stopped watching
18:29
some of them because I just know I'm not gonna
18:31
find it funny does she a brain rot no I don't
18:34
think she does I think she just like Let me say
18:37
this. She grew up pulling pranks on people thinking
18:40
it's hilarious. Pranks make me so angry. Like,
18:44
I don't find pranks funny. What about, like,
18:46
ding dong ditch? I wouldn't find it funny, but
18:51
I wouldn't find it, like, hateful. My thing is,
18:54
like, one time I was in the shower when I was,
18:55
like, eight, and she, like, threw ice on me while
18:57
I was in the shower. That's not funny. She thought
18:59
it was the funniest thing. And I remember thinking,
19:02
like, I'm going to end our friendship over this.
19:04
I was literally like, are you serious? So she
19:07
is the type who, like, she loves a prank, and
19:08
I'm like, I actually have to fight you now. Like,
19:11
square up. We got to throw hands. It was so funny
19:16
when I poured water on you while you were sleeping.
19:18
Literally. So our sense of humor is just very
19:21
different. Yeah, I know. And I let her live her
19:24
life, you know? So anyways, I just laugh at it,
19:29
and I move on. It was kind of funny, though.
19:31
Okay, so what are you going to do instead of
19:32
doomscrolling? Reading. Okay. What's your genre
19:37
of choice? The Bible. Yeah. Yeah. The Bible.
19:46
Yeah. Just that. Theological books. Something
19:51
else. Yeah. I read a lot of motivational. No.
19:58
Self -help. No, I read, I like romance books.
20:03
I do like a romance book. Yeah, I like romance
20:06
books. There is a new... I keep forgetting the
20:09
name of it. Something Dawn. It just came out
20:11
on TikTok. And I really want to read it. Are
20:15
you an enemies to lovers type of girl? Or are
20:18
you friends to lovers type of girl? I've read
20:27
both. I don't know. Probably I've read more like
20:30
enemies to lovers though. Okay. But then they
20:32
always... I don't know. I like it when it's like...
20:35
two guys i mean like when like she has to pick
20:41
oh she like gay i was like okay like that's so
20:45
unique for you um no when she has to pick yeah
20:48
yeah like a love triangle yeah yeah That makes
20:54
no sense. Every single day. No, I love a good
20:58
love triangle in a book. Hunger Games? I was
21:00
all for it. The Hunger Games or The Vampire Diaries?
21:03
Yes. Highlights? Yes. Anything like that, I love
21:05
a love triangle. Yeah, I'm with you. I like when
21:08
she picks the nice guy. Oh, I love it when she
21:11
picks the nice guy. Yeah. Then the bad guy's
21:14
always, like, so much harder. Yeah. It's true.
21:19
They do that on purpose, though. I know. And
21:21
it gets me every time. Who's your pick for Twilight?
21:24
So I actually never got into Twilight. I watched
21:27
all the movies. I never read the books. And I
21:29
honestly hated every second of everything I ever
21:31
watched. What? So looks speaking, not personality
21:35
speaking necessarily, but looks wise, it's Jacob
21:39
the Werewolf. Whichever the werewolf is. Jacob's
21:41
the werewolf. Yeah, because Taylor Lautner is
21:43
just so attractive. Yeah. The other guy, his
21:47
name I don't even know. What? Edward? Yeah. What's
21:50
his real name, though? Robert Patterson. I was
21:52
going to say Thomas something. No. He just gives
21:55
off the Thomas vibe. Yeah. I could see people
21:57
calling him, like, Tommy. Like, he gives off,
21:59
like, sick 1800 English kid vibes. Like, can
22:06
I have some porridge? I'm living in an orphanage.
22:08
See, he's the one I'd pick. Really? Yeah. I like
22:12
Edward. Jacob's not my type. Oh, that's true.
22:16
Jacob's not my type. Yeah, he's too tan for you.
22:19
He is. He is. He's too tan for me. I like Edward.
22:23
You want your children to burn in the sun. Yes.
22:26
But I think I like Edward's, like, physique better.
22:31
Jacob is too bulky. You like tall and lanky.
22:34
Yeah. Yeah. I don't. That's not my type. You
22:39
like tall and jacked. No, not even, I don't know.
22:42
Not. tall and jacked like i don't like the overly
22:45
muscular guys i like a functional muscle you
22:48
know like blue collar where it's like they work
22:50
so they have muscles yeah but it's not like they're
22:53
in the gym obsessively building muscle because
22:56
that gives me the ick i'm like you care too much
22:58
about yourself i hate when i see guys super jacked
23:01
at the gym taking pictures in the mirror that
23:03
gives me the ick like go in the bathroom it's
23:06
like he's a 10 but he there's nothing to do that
23:08
in the bathroom don't ever do that in front of
23:11
the bathroom Not in the mirror. Oh my gosh. I
23:14
wonder how many pictures that I'm just in the
23:15
back. I hate that you said that. I hate that
23:19
you said that. And you know what? I'm just like
23:23
struggling on the ceremony. No. Every single
23:25
one is probably me looking at them and giving
23:26
them the stink eye and taking pictures and posting
23:28
them themselves. 100%. Yeah. You know? It gives
23:32
me the ick when anyone's taking pictures like
23:34
at the gym though in that mirror. Like, if it's
23:37
in the bathroom, like, if I go in the girl's
23:38
bathroom and I see a girl doing it, okay, cool.
23:40
Yeah, because you're in the bathroom. Because
23:41
you're in the bathroom. Yeah, you're in the bathroom.
23:43
And you're doing it in that long mirror. Yeah,
23:45
that's weird. Get out of my face, girl. I can't
23:46
do it. And I always think this is just me because
23:50
of, like, my family I grew up in. I always think,
23:52
yeah, I know someone stronger than you. Like,
23:54
I know someone more jacked than you. And so,
23:57
and I want to say that to them, like, my brother's
23:59
bigger than you. Yeah. But I can't, so. I'm just
24:03
not impressed with anyone. I just don't like
24:06
– I like muscles, but, like, I don't like – Performative
24:10
muscles? Yes. If it looks like you do steroids,
24:13
even if you don't, I don't like that. I know
24:16
what you mean. You know what I'm realizing is
24:17
we just don't like anything performative. Yeah.
24:20
I don't. Like, just be real, bro. Just be real,
24:23
which should get us into this episode because
24:24
we're talking about church mean girls. Yeah.
24:27
Perfect segue. Okay. So let's talk about it.
24:34
Have you – well, you have because I know you.
24:37
You've experienced church mean girls. Yes, of
24:39
course. Have you? Actually, I've experienced
24:42
them through you. Yeah. Okay. I'm sure people
24:48
have probably thought – actually, I was friends
24:52
with church mean girls. I wasn't one because
24:54
I just had nothing going for me in life at the
24:56
time. I was just trying to survive. But I knew
24:59
them. I knew them. I know them. I had a friend
25:03
text me once. Or she called me and she was like,
25:05
hey, I really need you to pray for blah, blah,
25:07
blah, because he's going through X, Y, Z. Meanwhile,
25:10
she's totally gossiping and telling me his business
25:12
that I did not need to know. Yeah. At all. Like,
25:14
that's how she segued it, was like, let me gossip
25:16
about this person through, quote, unquote, a
25:18
prayer request. And that gives off church mean
25:22
girl to me. That does. You know? True. And then
25:26
I've met yours, and I thought, this gives off
25:29
performative. But how do you spot a church mean
25:33
girl? Because you've been through them a couple
25:34
of times. Like, what are your red flags? Your
25:37
telltale signs? Being stereotypical. Ooh. Like
25:41
fitting the box too well. Yeah, like fitting
25:44
the box too well. And then it's usually right.
25:49
Yeah. I haven't been proven wrong yet. There's
25:52
usually an aesthetic that comes with that. I
25:54
feel like, well, it's very different in the South,
25:56
though. Okay. In the South, there definitely
25:59
is like an aesthetic. Okay. So in the South,
26:02
what would you say the aesthetic is? Very clicky.
26:08
They kind of only hang out with people that look
26:10
like them. Yeah. So like either going like long,
26:15
flowy skirts, white tops, hair down, blonde.
26:19
Yes. And then it's like if you find their Instagram.
26:22
Yeah. It's like. I've literally seen. Everyone's
26:26
wearing pastels. Everyone's wearing pastels and
26:28
it's like the long altered state dresses that
26:30
are not cute. Yeah. And they're laying in a field
26:36
and they had someone take a photo of them. Yeah.
26:39
With like a good camera. Yeah. And they're reading
26:42
their Bible in a field. Wow. You literally just
26:46
subscribed to so many people I know. Yeah, I
26:49
know. Yeah. They're reading their Bible in a
26:52
feeling like, Jesus is my best friend. He's my
26:54
dad. No, no, no. It's not even he's my dad. They're
26:57
like, he's my boyfriend. Have you not heard that?
27:02
No. Oh, my God. Yes, my mom. i've met girls and
27:06
my mom has met girls where they're like i'm single
27:08
but like jesus is my husband so like he is fulfilling
27:11
that role and i'm like that's weird like so that's
27:13
actually religious psychosis like that's actually
27:15
giving your grandma met somebody like that she
27:17
said i should be friends with her And I sound
27:20
like a mean girl right now, but I was like, Ms.
27:22
Mayer. That's not weird. That's just you being
27:23
normal. I can't be friends with someone who thinks
27:25
Jesus is her husband, okay? I'm sorry. I can't.
27:28
I'm sorry. I need you to look at him as your
27:31
brother, as your Lord and Savior, as your heavenly
27:35
father. Father? Not your husband. Not your husband.
27:41
I would definitely see him as my dad. Yes, 100%.
27:44
Yeah, no, he's not like... that's it that's it
27:48
that's literally it okay so what does a northern
27:51
like because you're from connecticut like what
27:53
does a northern christian mean girl what's the
27:56
aesthetic with that like how do you spot it so
28:00
okay the whole like wearing a flowy dress in
28:03
a field would never happen up north really ever
28:08
okay there's no like altered state cowgirl boo
28:12
like megan maroney okay i love megan maroney
28:18
i'm just saying there isn't that aesthetic of
28:21
like pretending to look wise yeah like okay people
28:26
up north i feel like they don't hide their sin
28:30
as much as people down here so we're huge on
28:34
it down here and some of it is like okay up north
28:36
maybe some things are just more normalized like
28:39
living with your boyfriend before you're married
28:42
and going to church that's like more normalized
28:45
so that's also not good obviously but like it's
28:50
not like anyone's hiding it like down here it's
28:52
like like oh we're getting married because like
28:56
the way it looks to my parents yeah like stuff
28:58
like that yeah no i know it's just people are
29:01
less secretive but it's like they're very obsessed
29:03
with how they appear yeah like character wise
29:07
and I will say I have been that way where I was
29:11
obsessed with how I appeared character wise but
29:13
I didn't hold other people to my standards like
29:17
I wanted to put my best foot forward and I wanted
29:19
people to know why I was putting my best foot
29:21
forward um but I was active at it I was never
29:27
hiding anything like if I was doing if I had
29:30
something secretive happening I just didn't.
29:33
Like, people would ask me when I went to a, my
29:35
home church is a Baptist church. And people would
29:37
be like, where are their stamps on your hand?
29:38
I was like, I went to the club last night. Sue
29:41
me. But I saw people from our church in that
29:43
club the night before and they told me to make
29:45
sure I didn't tell anybody that I saw them there.
29:47
Yeah. Like, very different vibes. I was like,
29:49
you know what, guys? Like, sorry. I know you
29:51
don't think I should be in the club. I was dancing.
29:53
I had a good time with my friends. But also,
29:56
blah, blah, blah was there too. Like, I wasn't
29:58
ratting anybody out, but I wanted to because
29:59
I was getting the shade. Did you hear? yeah that
30:02
hannah liz went to the bar like i had a shot
30:05
sue me yeah i sang karaoke god forbid yeah i
30:10
feel like the mean girls up north though are
30:14
like they're not passive aggressive they're just
30:17
aggressive and then down here they're just they're
30:19
passive aggressive oh well passive aggressive
30:21
is like our southern yeah like bless your heart
30:24
yeah yeah yeah okay so how do you Like, how would
30:28
you know she's a Christian mean girl, like, in
30:30
church? Because you can't really be, like, mean
30:32
in church unless they are being mean. I feel
30:34
like you don't really... Well, I feel like when
30:37
they try to force you to do things, like, they'll
30:41
invite you to a Bible study or some type of,
30:47
like, outside of church event. And if you're
30:50
like, I'm sorry, I have work or I can't go or
30:52
this day I'm busy, whatever. They're like, like,
30:54
no! know like it'll be like a guilt trip and
30:57
then when you go when you finally go after them
31:00
begging you you'll finally go and then they don't
31:02
talk to you yeah like it's like a number like
31:05
they invited another person number yeah like
31:07
the fake nice yeah fake me girl like where they're
31:10
like oh my gosh come and they're so nice and
31:12
they're so sweet and then like in reality they
31:14
don't care about you at all like yeah they're
31:16
and they're also like and sometimes they'll be
31:17
the ones hosting it yeah it's not hospitable
31:20
at all like they're caught they're nice but they're
31:22
distant yeah There's no relationship. And that's
31:26
the thing I think we forget is like there's a
31:27
difference between kind and nice. Like we're
31:30
called like one of the fruits of the spirit is
31:32
kindness. The Bible doesn't tell us to be nice.
31:36
Because like your kindness comes from your heart.
31:39
Yeah, it's genuine. Yeah, it's genuine. Anybody
31:42
can be nice. I have lived with crazy people who
31:45
were really hateful who were still nice on occasion.
31:48
Yeah. But I would never call them kind. Yeah,
31:51
no. Like not once. No. Okay, so that was, like,
31:54
your idea of, like, a northern mean girl. Christian
31:58
mean girl. Yeah. On the west coast, the aesthetic
32:01
is someone who, like, big clothing. Like, a long
32:05
skirt, kind of close to southern, but it's always
32:08
skirts and tops. Like, a giant t -shirt, like
32:11
the one I'm wearing now, with, like, a long flowy
32:13
skirt. Yeah, it sounds weird. It's a thing. And,
32:16
like, sneakers or sandals. And then it's, like,
32:20
baggy jeans. And tube tops with, like, heavy
32:23
– it's very layered. But there's an aesthetic
32:25
that comes with it. And they're, like, trying
32:27
to sell you a lifestyle that comes with church.
32:31
And you see it specifically, like, in Orange
32:33
County, like, Southern California. Like, there's
32:36
– they're very much selling you a lifestyle through
32:39
their personality. But they're not showing you
32:42
anything about Jesus. Like, there's no fruit
32:44
coming from it. Yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah.
32:47
But I am with you, like, in the South. Like,
32:49
it's super – You can usually spot them. Yeah.
32:54
Okay, let me ask you this because I was thinking
32:56
a lot on this subject this week. So there's like
32:58
a term called like the spiritual gatekeeper.
33:00
It's someone who's more like self -appointed.
33:03
They feel like they're more spiritually mature,
33:07
theologically sound, and they feel valid in everything
33:10
that they say. Like they're making judgments
33:12
for you and against others. Yeah. Have you ever
33:15
experienced that type of Christian mean girl?
33:18
Yeah. Why are you smiling like that? Because
33:22
I'm looking at her now. No, I feel like a lot
33:29
of people, actually, I feel like everyone that
33:31
I've met at our cult church. Oh, I actually didn't
33:35
think about that. Everyone that I've met there
33:37
has been that way. It's like they are some type
33:40
of translator to God for me. That tells me everything
33:45
about them being Pharisees, though. oh why do
33:48
i need to go to you to hear from god yeah why
33:51
can't i just hear from him myself no but you
33:53
could in their eyes you could never hear from
33:55
god yourself no you're not holy enough you're
33:57
not worthy enough that's what i'm saying like
33:59
they always had something like quote unquote
34:01
deep to tell you and i was like oh yeah remember
34:04
how he said that they were talking about or one
34:07
of the girls there was talking about um having
34:11
a word of knowledge for the church or something
34:14
and it was like did you guys know that the resurrection
34:18
of jesus was really important oh my god yeah
34:23
really i fear that that's common knowledge yeah
34:27
she's like if the resurrection of jesus didn't
34:30
happen then the cross means nothing uh we all
34:32
knew that yeah that's not some like you didn't
34:35
have some wisdom that you needed to share with
34:37
everyone everyone knew that easter is about yeah
34:42
Um, okay. What about this one? You have the one
34:44
called the one upper. It's someone who does not
34:47
care about your good news. It's like the moment
34:49
you share something, she responds to something
34:50
bigger, deeper, or more dramatic. And this friend
34:54
in church would always like shift the focus back
34:57
to herself or weaponize their quietness as like
35:00
contempt. Do you feel like you've ever experienced
35:03
that? Maybe like not celebrating each other and
35:09
being very competitive. but not like yeah i've
35:13
definitely experienced like the one upper yeah
35:16
as well like me and madison definitely experienced
35:19
that really but yeah like in what way like having
35:24
friends where everything is a competition so
35:27
like if someone's going on a missions trip but
35:29
you don't feel called to go on it then they're
35:32
like they're so much better like oh what you
35:35
don't want to go and like serve the lord with
35:37
me Like they're so much better. And then seeing
35:40
the Instagram posts of them like digging holes
35:43
and you're so much better than everyone else
35:46
because you went on the missions trip. Yeah.
35:48
Oh my gosh. I feel like I see that a lot. Yeah.
35:52
In like Southern Christian culture where people
35:55
post about specifically it's missions trips.
35:57
I don't know what it is, but I swear people love
36:00
to go. To different countries. And do mission
36:03
strips. Which I'm not. I love a mission strip.
36:06
I'm not knocking it. I'm just saying. They love
36:08
to go and brag about it. And like. Have a white
36:10
savior complex. Yeah. White savior. Oh my gosh.
36:13
I have to say. Actually something about that.
36:15
One of the people. That. Was very performative.
36:19
With that. Like going on mission strips. And
36:22
stuff. The whole white savior complex thing.
36:24
It was. Insane. Because when they came back.
36:27
They were like. I didn't realize that they. I
36:29
thought we were going to go there. Teach them
36:31
about God. Like, they didn't know that they knew
36:35
about God? No. Just because they don't speak
36:38
English. Oh, no way. I'm just assuming, but.
36:42
Yeah. I will say, yeah, I've had a lot of, not
36:46
a lot, I've known a lot of people who have tried
36:49
to force me to go on mission trips, but I'm very
36:51
big on, like, if you feel like the Spirit is
36:53
leading you to do it or not. Yeah. And then it's
36:56
all about what they've done. I never. I never
36:59
hear God did this. This is how God moved. This
37:03
is what God was doing while we were there. It's
37:05
always, so then we did this. And then I did this.
37:07
And then I saw this. And then I heard this. And
37:09
then they told me that this is how I blessed
37:11
them. And I sat there and I'm like, okay. Yeah.
37:13
But what did God do? Like, how did God work in
37:16
this fishing trip? Well, he worked in my life
37:18
like this. I'm like, yeah, but what did you see
37:20
him do in other people's life? Like, where's
37:22
the fruit? What is being produced? Yeah. You
37:25
know? I would only go on a missions trip if I
37:29
felt like I was useful or I felt like God was
37:32
like putting it on my heart to go. But I'm not
37:34
just going to go because all my friends are going.
37:37
Yeah. That's like stupid. It's not a vacation.
37:39
No. Yeah, exactly. It's not a vacation. Yeah.
37:42
I like to do things that I know I'm going to
37:45
be helpful in. Like there's a non -profit. in
37:49
another country where they help girls who get
37:51
out of human trafficking learn to do hair as
37:53
a job i'm like i would do that for a few months
37:56
you know and go teach them because that's what
37:57
i do that's why i know how to do that so i can
37:59
teach but if you want to like my friend hannah
38:02
g she goes and helps people with she's like a
38:06
speech therapist so she goes to africa to remote
38:09
villages and like helps in the hospitals to help
38:12
them with the people who are learning how to
38:16
talk or reforming their words after surgery and
38:18
stuff i'm not 100 sure but something like that
38:20
and it's not like only does she go and do it
38:23
and leave and they're left hanging you know like
38:25
she goes with her friend who's also another speech
38:27
therapist who works in the hospital here and
38:29
then they teach people there how to help those
38:31
people progress moving forward until they can
38:33
come back a year later and i think that's cool
38:36
you know i would definitely do that with my degree
38:40
like after yeah school to be able to use that
38:42
yeah or an orphanage like i would be able to
38:45
go and help with like kids and stuff yeah but
38:48
but you're not going to sit here and try to emotionally
38:50
manipulate someone into going no or feeling like
38:52
they are not a good question for not doing it
38:54
yeah no and i feel like i see that a lot yeah
38:58
like they try to do like what you're not going
39:01
uh no no i'm not okay so when i was growing up
39:06
In my early 20s and stuff, I knew a lot of Christian
39:09
girls that would say that they were living one
39:10
way and then they were secretly living another.
39:13
But they would try to shame people for the things
39:15
that they've done that those girls are actively
39:18
doing. Does that make sense? Yeah, it does. Do
39:20
you still see that happening now? Have you seen
39:24
it happen? Or do you feel like that's like in
39:27
the past and people don't really move like that
39:29
anymore? I definitely have seen it happen. I
39:31
feel like I don't have anyone in my life that
39:34
does that anymore. But, like, I've definitely
39:38
experienced it. How would you clock it? Like,
39:40
if you were going to look for the red flags in
39:42
that now in a friendship to be like, oh, I don't
39:45
know if that's the one I need to be around. Like,
39:47
if someone was calling me out on my sin, but
39:51
I know that they do it. It's like, you literally
39:53
do it, too. Yeah, they're, like, pointing out
39:55
the log in your eye. Yeah, you literally do it.
39:59
But they haven't pulled out the one in their
39:59
own yet. Yeah. So, I mean, yeah, that's definitely
40:03
happened. Yeah. Yeah. I, yeah, I actually like
40:07
had the opposite happen. I would have like, I
40:09
wouldn't be doing anything, but my friends would
40:11
want me to participate in this and they were
40:13
participating in to make them feel better. See,
40:16
that's never, that's never happened to me. But
40:18
then they would show up differently at church.
40:20
They'd be like, oh yeah, we do this and this
40:22
is how we serve God and blah, blah, blah, blah,
40:24
blah. But then I know what they're doing behind
40:27
the scenes and keeping a secret from everyone.
40:29
See, I, that's the thing that like. not like
40:34
the same situation but i've been told where it's
40:36
like i know that this person like what this person
40:39
does in secret or like i know what this person's
40:42
like some of their sins and i never think anything
40:45
of it i literally would never think anything
40:47
of it i'm not judging them but then if i do something
40:50
and you call me out on it and then you're like
40:53
do not be conformed to the patterns of this world
40:56
get out of my face because you do it too yeah
40:59
you do it too or you do worse No, it's not a
41:03
competition. It's not a competition. It's far
41:07
from it. But, like, I don't need to hear – like,
41:11
I don't hear – I don't really hear it when people
41:15
like that are talking to me. How many times in
41:17
your life, specifically, like, up north versus
41:22
down south, did you come across, like, a Christian
41:24
mean girl? Definitely way more down here because
41:31
– everyone here is a christian oh my gosh everyone
41:34
here so up north it's like most of the mean girls
41:39
i met weren't christians and like it's also not
41:43
common to be a christian up north yeah it's like
41:46
very it's also not cool to say you're a christian
41:49
up north yeah or versus it's our culture down
41:54
yeah it's not cool to say it it's not cool to
41:57
like not drink or like To not smoke or to like
42:01
not be having sex or anything like that. Or like
42:05
if anyone was like, I can't live with my boyfriend
42:08
because the way it looks to my parents, people
42:09
would be like, why do you care? Yeah. It would
42:12
never be like, yeah, like your parents can't
42:14
know. Yeah. But down here, down here, it's like
42:17
everyone's a Christian. So anyone that's mean
42:20
is a Christian mean girl. I do you saying like
42:24
the whole living with your boyfriend thing. There
42:25
is this girl I knew down here. And she moved
42:29
up north. She was dating this guy. And she decided
42:33
to move in with her boyfriend, and they were
42:35
getting engaged. And I no longer was in contact
42:38
with her. And I'm one of those people, I personally
42:39
just don't care. Like, your life, your business
42:41
is between you and the Lord. And if you're not
42:43
asking me my opinion on it, I'm not going to
42:45
give it to you. Yeah. But I did hear through
42:48
a grapevine, because we have a lot of friends
42:49
in common, they're like, oh, yeah, she's moving
42:50
in with her boyfriend, but she's keeping it a
42:52
secret from her parents. And I was like, at her
42:54
age? She was like 26 years old. I was like, at
42:57
26 years old, you're going to keep, your parents
42:59
live in the same town. First off, how long are
43:01
you going to hide that for? Yeah. And secondly,
43:03
why? Yeah, like just be honest. Just be honest.
43:06
Like I'd rather live in honesty that I'm living
43:09
with my boyfriend than like be that age and try
43:12
and hide it from someone. Yeah, that's embarrassing.
43:14
Thank you. You're like a grown up. Yeah, but
43:16
also I feel like living in secret is worse. Yeah.
43:19
Than just doing it. That's humiliating. Yeah.
43:22
I don't think God would want you to live in secret.
43:24
No. Like, that's when the devil gets to weaponize
43:26
things against you, too. Yeah, because, like,
43:28
you're going to get caught. It's going to be
43:30
a big thing. Yeah. Instead of just being, like,
43:32
upfront about it. If you're living it in secret,
43:35
that's when you think it's a sin. If you don't
43:38
think it's a sin, you're not going to do it in
43:39
secret. Yeah. You know? Yeah, true. Anyways,
43:43
okay, so you feel you definitely see it more
43:44
in the South. Yeah, I see it more in the South.
43:46
Just because, like, everyone is a Christian here,
43:48
apparently. Mm -hmm. So it's, like, anyone...
43:52
Like I said, anyone that's mean, they're also
43:54
a Christian. Yeah. So how do you, coming from
43:57
up north to down south and being in your early
44:00
20s, how do you, like, handle coming across as
44:04
a Christian with girls? Like, how do you navigate
44:06
that? I feel like I don't have, I don't know,
44:11
especially when I first moved here, I kind of
44:14
just, like, took it. Because it's like I needed
44:16
to make friends here. And I was like, all right,
44:18
well, I guess this is just what everyone's like.
44:20
And I kind of need to like fit in with these
44:21
girls. Yeah. But now I feel like I'm more comfortable
44:26
and I have like my own my own friends and none
44:30
of them are clicky and like controlling or any
44:33
of that stuff. And a lot of them are Christians
44:35
and a lot of them aren't. Yeah. So it's pretty
44:39
split down the middle. Like I have a lot of friends
44:42
that like. are technically they would call themselves
44:47
christians because they were born and raised
44:49
here but like it's not like i ever see it yeah
44:53
doubt in their life i guess yeah which i feel
44:57
like is also really common i feel like yeah in
45:00
the south that's super common like again it's
45:03
part of the culture is to be a christian without
45:05
actually like being a christian because i always
45:07
hear like oh my grandpa was a pastor yeah have
45:11
you heard that my grandpa was a pastor and i'm
45:15
like okay and like my dad's catholic or was catholic
45:19
i'm not yeah it's not how it goes babe but i
45:23
will say like out west it also wasn't like the
45:27
cool thing to be well it kind of is again it's
45:29
trending i feel like being a christian right
45:31
now is trending yeah it is it's because of social
45:33
media yeah and like tiktokers yeah I can think
45:37
of still me. But I see people be mean on TikTok,
45:39
like Christian mean girls on TikTok. Like that
45:41
girl, she's beautiful. Her name's like Maddie
45:44
Crawford or something. Crawford? Yeah. Oh, Bryce
45:48
Crawford's wife. Yeah. And I feel like was wearing
45:51
a bikini or something. People are like, Christians
45:52
wouldn't wear bikinis. She's not a real Christian.
45:54
And I was like. They said that when she went
45:56
to Coachella too. And I was like, first off,
45:58
who are you to judge? And secondly, like, why
46:01
do you care so much about somebody else's life
46:03
that you don't even know? Yeah. And why are we
46:05
openly judging? a sister in christ if you supposedly
46:08
like love her like you should send her a dm in
46:11
private and let's move on well they were also
46:13
saying that she doesn't talk about she doesn't
46:15
use her platform enough to talk about jesus and
46:19
like she's not on the same level as her husband
46:21
okay and it's like why why is that a problem
46:24
for them but it's like okay maybe and i'm not
46:28
saying that she shouldn't be like that she should
46:30
like hide her beliefs i'm not saying that yeah
46:32
but and she doesn't at all but like he's Not
46:35
everyone is meant to be teaching. Yeah. Because
46:37
that's her husband's calling and he's up on stage
46:39
with a microphone. I couldn't do that. No. Not
46:43
everyone is called for that. Literally not everyone
46:45
is called for that at all. Yeah. So they attack
46:49
her, but I literally don't think she's doing
46:51
anything wrong. And I wear bikinis all the time.
46:53
And also all of those people that are commenting
46:55
probably wear bikinis. Yeah. Well, and it's just
46:57
getting like insecure. Yeah. Like I feel like
47:00
every time a mean girl. a christian mean girl
47:03
you can like almost see like where their own
47:05
hurt is coming from whether it's like insecurity
47:06
or they feel like your rejection um i'm trying
47:10
to think what else is what i've witnessed i don't
47:13
know i always feel like it goes back to insecurity
47:14
or rejection oh nb yeah maybe it's because she's
47:18
pretty yeah she's beautiful she's beautiful i
47:20
barely know anything about her she just came
47:22
across my tiktok like two days ago and i moved
47:24
on with my life but it's like they're either
47:26
like really insecure in my mind or yeah they
47:31
um are envious of her which i get because i think
47:34
she's pretty yeah she's very pretty and she's
47:37
a like a nice physique that's the only reason
47:39
that they're saying things about like her yeah
47:41
kini and i don't know and i think comparison
47:44
is definitely that they have joy yeah and you
47:47
can if you're comparing yourself to others which
47:49
is where envy comes in like you're not going
47:51
to be able to really support the other christian
47:54
girls around you very well yeah you know i just
47:57
don't like because i feel like people say To
48:00
her, it's like, oh, she doesn't look like a Christian.
48:04
That's what they say. But, like, what is that
48:06
even supposed to mean? Because they want you
48:08
to be laying in an alternate date dress. In a
48:11
field with your Bible. In a field with your Bible
48:13
and smiling at your Bible. Yeah, and it's like,
48:16
tell that to the people in the middle of Asia.
48:19
Yeah, like North Korea and, like, underground
48:21
churches. Literally. Or, like, in Africa. Christianity.
48:27
Yeah, this isn't the aesthetic. Yeah, literally.
48:30
i don't know that makes me so sad so how do you
48:32
fight any because i'm sure like we all can fall
48:36
i could fall into it but how do you fight the
48:38
urge to like fall into the ideas that come along
48:42
with the christian mean girl like how do you
48:43
keep from falling into your pride because you've
48:45
been a christian for a really long time or how
48:47
do you stay out of envy because you've watched
48:49
your friends like get engaged or getting ready
48:52
to get married and that's like obviously season
48:54
that we all desire to be in at some point um
48:57
or just like watching people prosper in a way
48:59
where you're like Like I'm not prospering that
49:01
way and I feel like I've earned it. Like how
49:03
do you keep yourself from falling into like the
49:05
Christian mean girl category? Like what are your
49:07
reminders? How do you clock yourself? I, how
49:10
do I clock myself? I feel like everyone I know
49:12
in my life that's getting engaged right now always
49:16
celebrates me and they would never try to like
49:19
rub anything in my face. Okay. So it's like if
49:22
I had a friend that's like. rubbing it in my
49:24
face then that's where it's like I can see you're
49:28
being competitive with me so it makes me like
49:31
put my guard up I guess yeah and like try to
49:33
be competitive back naturally even though it's
49:36
not good but everyone I know that's like like
49:40
Madison's in a season where she like is talking
49:42
about engagement with her boyfriend I'm so excited
49:44
for her because I know how badly she wants it
49:47
yeah so yeah Do you use any like Bible verses
49:51
or anything that like keeps you grounded in that
49:54
way? Not like Bible verses, but I feel like whenever
49:58
I am anxious about the future, I listen to worship
50:05
music. I love worship music. That's my thing.
50:08
Or I read Psalms. I do like Psalms. Psalms is
50:12
good. I'm going to do Proverbs right now. Yeah.
50:14
I really love Proverbs. I'm never feeling wise.
50:20
I always want to feel wise, but I feel like I'm
50:23
never wise enough. That's such a cliche thing
50:28
to say, but I feel like people tell me all the
50:31
time, you're so wise. I sit there and I'm like,
50:33
you are wise, Hannah. I'm really not. There's
50:36
so much out there that I don't know or don't
50:37
understand. I wish I understood it all. What
50:41
I would give to have an ounce of the wisdom that
50:43
King Solomon had. To just understand things.
50:46
Like, when I read Proverbs or Ecclesiastes, I'm
50:49
like, wow. I love Ecclesiastes. He really understood
50:52
things on such a deep level. And he's like, everything
50:55
is meaningless. Yeah. Like, that's how I feel
50:57
every day. He's so right, though. Except he put
51:00
it in such a poetic speech that I was like, wow.
51:03
He is a poet. I'm like, you put it so well, Solomon.
51:07
Solomon. Like, bro. Yeah. Put me on your level.
51:11
I will say, I feel like being Southern, born
51:13
and raised. It's so easy to like want to fall
51:16
into the Christian mean girl thing where I do
51:19
sit there and like someone will tell me something
51:21
like, oh, this girl said this. And I'm like,
51:23
how dare she say that to you? Because has she
51:25
not looked at this, this and this in her? And
51:26
I'm like, wait a second. That is not who I'm
51:29
called to be. Like I am not called to be their
51:31
judge. I am not called to point out their thing.
51:34
Or if I start to get insecure about something,
51:36
I'm like. Oh, like I've had a lot of weddings
51:39
this year, bro. I've had so many weddings this
51:43
year. And I was sitting at one of these weddings
51:45
and I was like, why is it not my turn yet? What
51:47
have I done wrong? I would be such a good wife.
51:51
I know. And I could fall into like I'd be a better
51:53
wife than her. But I was like, that's actually
51:55
not a headspace I want to live in. You're going
51:57
to be a great wife, Hannah. But I'm not going
51:59
to fall into that headspace. But it's so easy
52:02
to want to get into like comparison or envy or
52:05
like even pride. i think i deserve this yeah
52:09
no literally i felt like that before would be
52:12
like i deserve this they don't deserve this so
52:14
how do you get yourself out of that headspace
52:15
my gosh i just like trusting like like his thoughts
52:22
are higher than my thoughts yeah like his ways
52:24
are higher than my ways and he has a plan for
52:26
my life yeah his plans for my life are good and
52:29
also whenever i would like compare like obviously
52:35
comparisons the thief of joy yeah and I like
52:40
I don't know what's what my life is gonna look
52:42
like in 10 years I don't know what their life
52:44
is gonna look like or their marriage or like
52:46
what God could be protecting me from or what
52:49
God is making me wait for or anything like that
52:52
so that is such a good point yeah and it's like
52:57
in the moment you don't think about it Because
52:59
you're like, you're swept up in your emotions
53:02
and all that stuff. And I don't know. I feel
53:05
like when I was in a season of, like, waiting
53:08
for so long and I was praying about it so much
53:10
and I would get myself, like, really worked up
53:14
about it. Because I would see people where I'm
53:17
like, they didn't do anything. Like, these people
53:20
aren't even nice. They're not even nice to people.
53:23
And, like, how did they get this life? Yeah.
53:25
Right? But. Then it's like, I don't think that
53:30
they're happy. Yeah. I mean, I've never been.
53:34
I could have the worst day in the world and I
53:36
wouldn't be as mean to people as they have been.
53:39
Yeah. So it's like you have to be unhappy. So
53:41
you're not going to fall into the trap that they've
53:43
clearly fallen into. Yeah. So what I like to
53:46
remind her that like his ways are higher than
53:48
your ways and his thoughts are higher than your
53:50
thoughts. And it's like, okay, like you can sit
53:51
on that and think about that. Then you won't
53:53
get envious or you won't fall into pride or all
53:56
the other. all the other things that come along
53:59
with it. Or, you know, when you fall into or
54:01
if you feel rejected, you can remind yourself
54:03
that like those person's opinions don't matter.
54:07
Like their rejection is not what holds you at
54:10
the end of the day. Also, I feel like God, I
54:14
feel like God always works with like repetition.
54:16
And in the Bible, two of my favorite stories,
54:21
like I love the book of Joel. Okay. for like
54:24
all the years of the locust had eaten away yeah
54:26
and like i love the story of job obviously you
54:29
love the story of job because of the last page
54:31
when everything works out the last page the very
54:36
last yes after when it comes together yeah when
54:40
it all comes together the last page but um i
54:43
like the story of hannah i do like the story
54:46
of you i love the story of hannah yeah so that's
54:50
how i feel like god that's like all repetition
54:52
like it'll be like if someone has a horrible
54:54
five years in the bible yeah or a horrible decade
54:57
it'll be like god bless them that next decade
55:01
yeah or that next 20 years yeah like like with
55:05
hannah in the bible how she waited i'm gonna
55:07
like mess this whole story up but i think she
55:10
waited 10 years to have a baby and then she ended
55:12
up having she literally waited 10 years to have
55:15
one son and then she ended up the next 10 years
55:17
she had 10 sons yeah yeah like that's when it
55:20
even says like he saw her tears and he like knows
55:23
her soul and like the first chapter and i always
55:26
think that's beautiful like he knows your soul
55:28
yeah or like the story of hagar cares for your
55:30
soul that's what it is yeah and the story of
55:31
hagar yeah she's like you're the god that sees
55:33
me yeah because there was an injustice done against
55:35
her so yeah i love stories like that and that's
55:39
how god is even today So do you feel that's like
55:42
kind of what keeps you from falling into – because
55:45
I feel like when you – again, you've been a Christian
55:46
as long as you have. You could be like, you know
55:48
what? I know more about God than you do or I
55:50
know I've been in this block longer than you
55:52
have. I've learned more. And you like keep yourself
55:55
from falling into that pride. I feel like something
55:57
that has like helped me with that is that like
56:02
even if these people piss me off and I don't
56:05
like them and they're annoying and – everyone
56:08
at church where i'm like they leave a bad taste
56:11
in my mouth like all this way that they're acting
56:13
it's distasteful all this stuff because it's
56:15
performative or it's performative but it's like
56:17
all of these people were still made in the image
56:20
of god yeah and he doesn't love me anymore than
56:22
he loves them yeah that's so true I need that
56:26
reminder. Sometimes I like to think he loves
56:28
me more than he loves everybody else. I'm not
56:30
gonna lie. Why is he not your favorite? No, no.
56:32
Sometimes I'm like, I am your favorite, aren't
56:34
I? Like, I genuinely think that because I might
56:36
not have anything I want. But I do think like,
56:39
because I have so many conversations with him
56:41
and he'll answer. Sometimes I'm like, oh, so
56:42
I'm your favorite. So you're saying that you
56:46
choose me and you're like, and you're like, so
56:49
he loves us all equal. He does. I just forget
56:53
that I'm not his favorite, even though I feel
56:55
that way. No, but yeah, that's something that
56:58
I literally said this to you at some point, like
57:00
a couple months ago where I was like, I have
57:02
to like remind myself that even though they're
57:05
annoying or they're weird, just because you're
57:07
weird doesn't mean you don't know God. Yeah.
57:09
Which is like common sense. That is common sense.
57:12
But I didn't. But sometimes I need to remind
57:14
myself that. I remember there was a girl. Or
57:17
not even that they don't know God. It's like
57:18
even though they're weird, God still knows them.
57:21
Yeah. It's true. I think. Really? But I remember
57:24
I met this girl who the whole time I was being
57:27
judgmental. When I first met her, I was like,
57:28
something's off about this girl. Because she's
57:30
like, I don't know. Something was a little odd.
57:34
and i remember just thinking that this whole
57:36
time i was like this girl's just odd she's kind
57:37
of different and then i remember hearing her
57:40
pray at one of the bible studies at this dinner
57:43
and like the way that she prayed was so like
57:47
intimate and she was so deep and she just like
57:49
poured her whole heart and it was so genuine
57:51
and i felt so convicted about it because i was
57:53
like i literally had the common sense thought
57:56
where i was like wow God loves us, even if we're
58:01
weird. Right. I love that, though. It's true.
58:04
It's true. Even if we're odd to the rest of the
58:06
world. Yeah. Even if everyone's like, oh, this
58:08
person's a little odd. Yeah. Like, you can still
58:11
have an intimate relationship with Jesus. 100%.
58:14
Yeah. Yeah. No, that's good. I like that. And
58:16
I realized that, like, even though it should
58:19
be common sense and it would just be being judgmental,
58:22
but. You know what? It's true. Like, we learn
58:24
something all the time, right? Yeah. God clocked
58:27
me. God clocked you. You know what? God clocks
58:30
me all the time. Oh my gosh, yeah. He humbles
58:33
me like every day. That's a good one. That's
58:34
a really good one. Because it is, and especially
58:36
in our world, it's so easy to like look at the
58:38
weird person and be like, you're weird. Like,
58:39
what's wrong with you? But no, hearing that about
58:42
that girl's prayer, it's like, no, he loves her
58:44
deeply. Yeah, and he knows her deeply. Yeah.
58:46
Because she also knows him deeply. Yes. And like,
58:50
they have like a relationship together. Yeah.
58:54
So I, but yeah, I remember just thinking like,
58:56
wow. You needed to be clocked. Yeah, I needed
58:59
to be clocked. I do too sometimes. I've had those
59:02
moments with like specific friends who are, I
59:05
will say, okay, something that I fall into with
59:08
my pride is like I'll have friends who are. new
59:11
or along in their walk, like they've been a Christian
59:13
for a long time, but they haven't started living
59:14
their life for him. And then they get prideful
59:17
and start telling people how to live. And then
59:18
that ignites my pride because I'm like, how dare
59:21
you tell people how to live when you've just
59:23
started living like this? I remember this one
59:24
time six months ago. And then I had to stop myself
59:27
and I'm like, listen. Like I'm looking at him
59:29
and I'm like, listen. They're just now discovering
59:32
this way of living. Of course they want people
59:33
to live like this. Like, let them calm down.
59:36
Let them stumble a couple times. with God through
59:40
this or through their pride. And hopefully we
59:42
all even out somewhere in the end. Yeah. And
59:45
that's the only thought I have on that, honestly.
59:47
All right. Well, those are our thoughts on Christian
59:49
Mean Girls. Anything else you want to say? No.
59:53
No? I think that's everything. All right. Then
59:54
we're going to close out. Thanks for hanging
59:56
out with us, guys. Thank you, guys. Aw. Thanks
1:00:05
so much for listening to the Living Breed Podcast.
1:00:09
I hope that you enjoyed it. I loved having Haley
1:00:11
on the show. So yeah, if you want to hear more
1:00:15
from Haley, I'm sure there's a million topics
1:00:16
she would love to talk on. She was definitely
1:00:19
fun to talk with and talk to. If you're loving
1:00:22
the podcast, I'd be so honored if you would go
1:00:26
ahead and hit that subscribe button. And if you
1:00:29
wouldn't mind, leave me a review. And if you
1:00:32
have feedback or a subject you'd like me to cover,
1:00:35
please email me or DM me on Instagram. If you
1:00:40
want to get connected, you can connect with me
1:00:42
on Instagram at HannahLizD or you can email me
1:00:45
at livingfreedpod at gmail .com. Again, thank
1:00:49
you so much for listening. I hope you feel encouraged
1:00:51
today and maybe a little lighter. All right.
1:00:54
Bye, y 'all.