Latest / 52 Cues - A Production Music and Sync Podcast / The Power of Gratitude, Grace, and Forgiveness

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The Power of Gratitude, Grace, and Forgiveness · 52 Cues - A Production Music and Sync Podcast

• 0:30
  Shannon Kropf: you know, whatever you're grateful for, you tend to attract more of, and so staying that attitude of God, that attitude of gratitude.
• 0:41
  Dave Kropf: That's what sounds like preacher bullet points.
• 0:45
  Shannon Kropf: Lord have mercy.
• 0:46
  Shannon Kropf: But staying in that sort of posture of gratitude for everything keeps you in check.
• 0:55
  Shannon Kropf: Sometimes you know when we all need a little reality check.
• 0:58
  Shannon Kropf: But it really facilitates more coming in, more of what you love, more of what you love to do.
• 1:07
  Shannon Kropf: You know, if you're grateful for being able to pay your bills, then maybe at next year, this time, you're able to pay your bills and give some away, or you know.
• 1:19
  Shannon Kropf: So it gratitude becomes the great multiplier.
• 1:33
  Dave Kropf: What is happening.
• 1:33
  Dave Kropf: Everybody, this is Dave Kropf, and I just want to tell you on the front end that today's episode is going to be a little bit different.
• 1:40
  Dave Kropf: I'm not going to necessarily talk about a production music topic.
• 1:43
  Dave Kropf: We're not going to talk about contracts and sink, and I'm not going to tell you all about 52 cues and how you can subscribe.
• 1:49
  Dave Kropf: Instead, I want to welcome a very special guest back to the program, my most favorite person in the world, mrs 52 cues, Shannon Kropf, and we are going to be talking about gratitude, grace and forgiveness.
• 2:05
  Dave Kropf: Shannon, welcome to the podcast.
• 2:07
  Dave Kropf: It's so good to have you, Shannon.
• 2:09
  Shannon Kropf: Thank you so much.
• 2:10
  Shannon Kropf: It's always awesome to get to do this with you and really just as an extension of the conversations that we have every day hanging out we you're my best friend, so cool yeah.
• 2:24
  Dave Kropf: I know it sounds like super cheesy and you know Hallmark after school special.
• 2:28
  Dave Kropf: You know Barry, your best friend.
• 2:29
  Shannon Kropf: But I mean, we're special blossom, yeah, I know, and this is this.
• 2:33
  Dave Kropf: does this does feel like a very special episode, you know?
• 2:37
  Dave Kropf: But no, as this is coming out, it is Thanksgiving Day here in the US and I just want to take a moment and talk about what we are grateful for, what Shannon and I are very thankful for.
• 2:54
  Dave Kropf: Now, you know, at the beginning of every episode, I say a special thanks to our family, friends, neighbors and patrons who all keep the lights on and that's, that's all well and good and absolutely.
• 3:06
  Dave Kropf: I thank them for their financial contributions, but also the community at large.
• 3:14
  Dave Kropf: When I say none of this would be possible, that's not a lie.
• 3:17
  Dave Kropf: It's not a lie.
• 3:19
  Dave Kropf: It's one thing, you know, to get subscribers and all of that, but the support financially and the support spiritually, emotionally, philosophically you know that folks are just putting positivity into the community and it makes it all absolutely worth it.
• 3:43
  Dave Kropf: So I just want to say, just on the front end, whether you're a paying subscriber or not, whether you're a YouTube subscriber or you're listening on the podcast, a member of the community or an OG, member of the Facebook group, thank you.
• 3:58
  Dave Kropf: I am so grateful for you because really none of this would be possible without your help.
• 4:05
  Shannon Kropf: And you know, dave, when we first started out to grow this thing out of the Facebook community coming onto Mighty Networks, we decided right at the beginning and you just touched on this, so I just wanted to say something else about it we decided right at the beginning that we weren't gonna chase the algorithms.
• 4:27
  Shannon Kropf: We weren't gonna, like you know, do some of the weird things that you can do to get 10,000 subscribers in 12 minutes you know all that business.
• 4:37
  Shannon Kropf: And we decided that we were just going to be authentic and be who we are, and so it's really amazing to see that grow into this beautiful community that we have, where I've never seen such a positive online space.
• 4:53
  Shannon Kropf: You know, usually somebody gets loose and does damage.
• 4:59
  Dave Kropf: Yeah, no, you're not wrong.
• 5:01
  Shannon Kropf: So I just wanna thank everybody who also, on my heart, is thanking everybody for being amazing and really making this a special place.
• 5:14
  Shannon Kropf: It's just not like anything else I've seen, especially in the production music space.
• 5:21
  Dave Kropf: Yeah, and it's really easy to take kind of for granted what the community that we have going on here and the folks who come into the community, because it's our people right.
• 5:34
  Dave Kropf: But going into, yeah, our tribe 100% and going into some other communities and you realize, just feels a little bit different, you know, but being community focused first, being generous and having a foundation of generosity, of hey, together we are better and I think it's reflected in the community.
• 5:56
  Dave Kropf: You know, I deliberately try to keep negativity out of the podcast, you know, waves episodes or Spitfire episodes, not withstanding the occasional flaming episode, not withstanding, which I know, if it bleeds, it leads to date.
• 6:16
  Dave Kropf: Those are my highest downlifts.
• 6:19
  Shannon Kropf: I mean, there is the reality of the world we live in.
• 6:23
  Shannon Kropf: However, it would be very easy to pander to that and you're not doing that 100%.
• 6:29
  Dave Kropf: I mean I could easily like just line up everything that makes me angry about the industry and probably get a lot of eyeballs, right, if you're putting that out into the universe, then that's what you're gonna attract.
• 6:41
  Dave Kropf: So if we want a community of super negative, cynical people, then yeah, angry people.
• 6:49
  Dave Kropf: Angry, unhappy with everything, then yeah, I should line up all of those videos and make them, but I believe in positivity and paying it forward and putting light out into the universe.
• 7:02
  Dave Kropf: And I don't know if that's too woo-woo for you you know they're listening, but I really believe that it's gonna be reflected into the people that you attract.
• 7:10
  Dave Kropf: You know, as within, so without right.
• 7:14
  Dave Kropf: So whatever is inside you and whatever you put out there, that is what's going to come back.
• 7:19
  Shannon Kropf: And just so, just to make you feel a little bit better.
• 7:22
  Shannon Kropf: Every time I think oh my God, is that too woo-woo?
• 7:25
  Shannon Kropf: Is this so out there?
• 7:27
  Shannon Kropf: I go back to, like quantum physics, the idea of spooky action at a distance, that an atom on Earth can be entangled with an atom 500 light years away, and when something happens to this, happens to the, it's like there's a whole level of how our universe works that we're only just beginning to tap into.
• 7:49
  Shannon Kropf: Super exciting.
• 7:51
  Shannon Kropf: So yeah, just just the idea that there's like some energetic Stuff going on that we can't necessarily see with our eyes, but that we feel the ramifications of.
• 8:03
  Dave Kropf: And I think that that happens in the community.
• 8:05
  Dave Kropf: I mean, we have community quantum entanglements with folks from from India, it's true, tokyo, yeah, australia, indonesia, malaysia, orlando, right, las Vegas, denver, memphis, la, all over the world, and we all come together in mutual support of one another.
• 8:31
  Dave Kropf: And it really is a special thing and I just wanted to pause today to acknowledge that and to express my most sincere, deep, deep gratitude for you.
• 8:45
  Dave Kropf: You, shannon, yes, but oh me the audience.
• 8:50
  Shannon Kropf: I thought you meant for us all.
• 8:53
  Dave Kropf: No, I Thank you, but speaking of Shannon, I must take a moment to express my my thanks to my partner in life.
• 9:04
  Dave Kropf: We will be celebrating 30 years marriage next year.
• 9:08
  Dave Kropf: We've been together since the dawn of the Clinton administration Literally our first day Literally was November 2 1992.
• 9:20
  Dave Kropf: Which was election day, right and Wow.
• 9:26
  Dave Kropf: I can't imagine doing life without you.
• 9:30
  Shannon Kropf: No way and.
• 9:31
  Dave Kropf: You know, for you listeners we have a little staff meeting me and Shannon like little two person staff meeting every Monday morning and Practically at the end of every meeting, we look at each other and we say I am so glad we get to do this together.
• 9:48
  Shannon Kropf: We get.
• 9:48
  Dave Kropf: Yeah, because you know we've spent our entire life.
• 9:52
  Dave Kropf: I mean, you know we're.
• 9:54
  Dave Kropf: I'll be 50 in about a month.
• 9:58
  Dave Kropf: You know you're.
• 9:59
  Dave Kropf: I don't want to say how old you are, it's not polite but I am approximately that age.
• 10:06
  Dave Kropf: And so I mean we're both, you know, hovering around, you know, half century mark, and we've spent 35 years In pursuit of somebody else's dream Really, that's right Supporting somebody else's vision, somebody else's dream, the thing that they wanted to manifest into the universe.
• 10:27
  Dave Kropf: We have spent Our entire adult life in service of those things.
• 10:32
  Dave Kropf: I mean not with regret, it's just that's how it goes.
• 10:36
  Dave Kropf: You get a job or somebody, whether it's at a school or whether it's at a print company or whatever, but for the first time within the last couple of years, since since we launched 52Cues formally in 2022.
• 10:51
  Dave Kropf: We're doing it for us and for you listeners and viewers and members of the 52 Cues community.
• 11:01
  Shannon Kropf: And you know it's it's.
• 11:02
  Shannon Kropf: It's not like the time that we spent building other people's dreams is wasted.
• 11:09
  Shannon Kropf: Every situation, every relationship, every trial, every challenge, every success, every failure has molded us into the people that we are now, and so we're able to do what we are now because we came alongside other people along the way.
• 11:29
  Shannon Kropf: I wish we had started when we were 20, but you know, it's all good, what's the proverb?
• 11:36
  Shannon Kropf: The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago.
• 11:39
  Shannon Kropf: The second best time is now.
• 11:40
  Shannon Kropf: You know, right?
• 11:41
  Shannon Kropf: The?
• 11:42
  Dave Kropf: worst time is tomorrow, right exactly.
• 11:45
  Shannon Kropf: And I mean.
• 11:46
  Dave Kropf: Well, the tech didn't exist 20 years ago.
• 11:49
  Shannon Kropf: You know, there's no way we could have done the community that we did, that that we're doing now.
• 11:52
  Shannon Kropf: I was just reminded watching Friends the other day that when we started our musical journey when we were in the band in North Carolina together, we had a piece of paper that people wrote down their email addresses on and we had to try to decipher them and type them in and I that is.
• 12:12
  Shannon Kropf: So it's like Another era, not just another century, because that was in the 90s, but it was a whole different era in terms of the way we think about things.
• 12:23
  Shannon Kropf: So you know, as kind of crazy as the world is right now, it's a really cool time to be alive and I'm grateful that we get to experience it.
• 12:39
  Dave Kropf: Yeah, really, because I'm sitting here in a room in a, in a room over garage in Orlando, florida, having real time instant communications with somebody in India and also somebody from Australia, and also somebody from Tokyo and also somebody from Las Vegas all in the same room, zoom room.
• 12:53
  Dave Kropf: We're all talking in instant communication and this still oppresses me, I know you know, if you're a generation younger, you're like that's how it is.
• 13:05
  Shannon Kropf: We came up in that generation, we were in college when the Internet became a thing, and when we were in college you had to like log in to tell us that you were in college.
• 13:14
  Shannon Kropf: You had to like log in to tell net and know how to get where you were going and and how to find what you're looking for.
• 13:21
  Shannon Kropf: You had to know addresses and go to specific.
• 13:25
  Shannon Kropf: You know alt groups and all this kind of stuff, and so it's been fun to watch it happen.
• 13:32
  Dave Kropf: It's like I'm not impressed by running water but but I imagine a generation before us who grew up without it every time they turn on the faucet to like guys.
• 13:44
  Shannon Kropf: You don't understand what's happening here.
• 13:46
  Shannon Kropf: You don't know.
• 13:49
  Dave Kropf: So when I have instant communications with somebody in Tokyo and I'm just like looking at young folks like you don't even know my dad was a Marine, I had to use a telephone to talk to somebody in Tokyo.
• 14:02
  Dave Kropf: Oh, when my dad was a Marine, he was stationed in Okinawa and we would talk to him once a week Wow by phone, and we had to say over when we were done because it wasn't a two way phone.
• 14:17
  Shannon Kropf: Right.
• 14:18
  Dave Kropf: It was a radio, essentially so.
• 14:20
  Dave Kropf: So I'm thankful for the technology, yes, I'm thankful for the tools that we have in place and I'm I'm thankful, I'm thankful that that folks kind of joined us for this journey.
• 14:33
  Dave Kropf: You know, the Facebook group started at the end, I think at the end of 2017 is when the Facebook group started, yeah, and so 2018 and 19 and 20.
• 14:47
  Dave Kropf: We did this kind of weekly threads.
• 14:49
  Dave Kropf: That was the whole point.
• 14:50
  Dave Kropf: The whole point of 52 cues was create a community where people can post their cues and leave feedback for others, all in super supportive, welcoming, non spammy kind of way.
• 15:01
  Dave Kropf: Non, you know, we're not, we're not trying to not hustle culture kind of vibe to it.
• 15:06
  Dave Kropf: Right, just post your cues, get feedback.
• 15:09
  Dave Kropf: Very, very simple transaction.
• 15:12
  Dave Kropf: And 2017 is when was when that group started up three years on Facebook.
• 15:18
  Dave Kropf: Now we're coming up on two years on Mighty Networks and we're coming up on 150 podcast episodes.
• 15:25
  Dave Kropf: Three years of the podcast, and it's it's kind of staggering, right.
• 15:32
  Dave Kropf: I look back and think, wow, kind of, how far we've come.
• 15:35
  Dave Kropf: I'm really excited about what's coming up in 2024.
• 15:38
  Dave Kropf: And at the end of this year, we are releasing our kind of year in review and looking forward.
• 15:45
  Dave Kropf: We have our town hall coming up.
• 15:47
  Dave Kropf: But I'm just so grateful to be able to do this.
• 15:51
  Dave Kropf: I'm grateful that that we're in an industry that is open and sharing.
• 15:57
  Dave Kropf: We're not, you know, in a cutthroat kind of industry.
• 16:00
  Dave Kropf: I mean, it can be cutthroat, but, but in my mind, folks who are attracted to production music are generally service minded anyway, right, because production music composers don't get your name up in lights.
• 16:13
  Dave Kropf: You're never going to go.
• 16:14
  Dave Kropf: You know an accept an Academy Award with John Williams on the front row, right?
• 16:19
  Dave Kropf: That's probably not going to be, and if you do, it's not for you know a cue you got placed on toddlers and TRs.
• 16:25
  Shannon Kropf: Right.
• 16:26
  Dave Kropf: But so much of our life is kind of in the background, behind the scenes, making a little bit of inroads, building your career slowly in service of somebody else, telling their story, and I think that attracts a certain kind of person, right, it's like the bass players and the drummers, you know, and I don't mean, I mean like in a band bass players and drummers are always like in the back of the stage.
• 16:49
  Shannon Kropf: They're not the front man.
• 16:51
  Dave Kropf: Right, exactly.
• 16:52
  Shannon Kropf: Except for Phil Collins.
• 16:54
  Dave Kropf: Right.
• 16:56
  Shannon Kropf: Yeah, yeah, the.
• 16:57
  Dave Kropf: Beatles, paul McCartney notwithstanding.
• 16:58
  Dave Kropf: But for the most part, we help other people tell our stories, and that is a service industry ultimately.
• 17:06
  Dave Kropf: You know, artisans make their things and somebody else use them, and so the community attracts that, and so I'm super grateful for the folks who've come into the community.
• 17:17
  Dave Kropf: I'm grateful for Mighty Networks and everything we have happening over there, not without its challenges, but I'm grateful that people have grace for us.
• 17:30
  Dave Kropf: They have grace for us as we try new things and see if it works.
• 17:34
  Dave Kropf: See if it doesn't work, let's try a Q review, and now let's call it ready for sync.
• 17:38
  Dave Kropf: Let's try it.
• 17:40
  Dave Kropf: And just let's get on my motorcycle and let's make a video about that.
• 17:44
  Dave Kropf: Let's create all of these things in service of other people, to help them grow their career.
• 17:52
  Shannon Kropf: And you know, just to pivot a little bit into the concept of gratitude and what that does, as you cultivate gratitude in your life, my friend says it becomes the great multiplier.
• 18:03
  Shannon Kropf: You know, whatever you're grateful for, you tend to attract more of.
• 18:07
  Shannon Kropf: And so staying that, staying that attitude of God, that attitude of gratitude, that's what sounds like like preacher bullet points.
• 18:20
  Shannon Kropf: Lord have mercy.
• 18:21
  Shannon Kropf: But staying in that sort of posture of gratitude for everything keeps you in check sometimes you know when we all need a little reality check but it really facilitates more coming, more coming in, more of what you love, more of what you love to do.
• 18:42
  Shannon Kropf: You know, if you're grateful for being able to pay your bills, then maybe it next year at this time you're able to pay your bills and give some away, or you know, so it, gratitude, becomes the great multiplier.
• 18:57
  Shannon Kropf: And you just mentioned grace, and everywhere I looked to, kind of I feel like I know what grace is, but I wanted to sort of look and find a definition.
• 19:10
  Shannon Kropf: Or you know, and it was always, you know, a kind gesture or feeling or emotion without merit, meaning that I don't have to do anything to deserve it.
• 19:24
  Shannon Kropf: And so, you know, as you start to talk about grace, that gets into this whole forgiveness thing, which I know we're going to spend a minute on as well.
• 19:32
  Shannon Kropf: But grace and gratitude seem to me to be the same same two sides of the same coin, at least, where you know if I'm grateful for something.
• 19:48
  Shannon Kropf: I also have a lot of grace in that area, you know.
• 19:51
  Shannon Kropf: You know working with students.
• 19:54
  Shannon Kropf: At Full Sail, for instance, there are every month.
• 19:58
  Shannon Kropf: There are 20 different things that go wrong for 20 different people and they need an extension, or they need this or that or the other, and I can look at that as, oh my God, why can't people turn in their work on time?
• 20:09
  Shannon Kropf: You know, I can have that attitude towards it or can be grateful for these students and which leads to grace for their situations, you know, not to the point of being like, yeah, just turn in whatever you want.
• 20:24
  Shannon Kropf: Whatever you want, everything's fine.
• 20:26
  Shannon Kropf: But dealing with people in such a way that it affirms who they are and who you are and just walking in a very specific kind of respect for one another.
• 20:41
  Dave Kropf: Yeah, and I think it's really important.
• 20:44
  Dave Kropf: You know, as instructors and educators and professors, blah, blah, whatever that folks understand, kind of, where you're coming from.
• 20:51
  Dave Kropf: Like just this week I had to send to our briefing room folks it was a grumpy email and I said, not an email but a post like okay, guys, we're missing some details, right, you know you're submitting this for round one of a brief and I need to provide feedback, but I'm not getting what I'm asking for and so I sent I even put like a little gif of grumpy cat, right Grumpy cat.
• 21:18
  Dave Kropf: I kind of softened the blow and I made sure to communicate hey, this is what we need to do and this is why we need to do it.
• 21:25
  Shannon Kropf: So the grace part comes in, and assuming that everybody wants the same thing, Well and assuming the best intentions on everybody's part, even if they screw up, well, they probably screwed up trying to do the right thing.
• 21:47
  Dave Kropf: Yeah, you're exactly right.
• 21:48
  Dave Kropf: Like a student missing an assignment or missing they turned something in, and so that might be the victory I've talked about on one of my moto vlogs about having grace in traffic.
• 22:03
  Shannon Kropf: I don't think.
• 22:04
  Dave Kropf: I actually use the word grace, but when you slow down and let somebody into traffic, that's a moment of grace and which is ultimately for you, you're extending grace.
• 22:17
  Dave Kropf: But what you're doing is you're releasing that ick, that angsty bits, you're releasing that into the universe and by doing that you are deescalating anxiety.
• 22:32
  Dave Kropf: You are affording somebody the opportunity to have a better day.
• 22:39
  Dave Kropf: Like you're just making space for that and the benefit for me, like I slow down in traffic, not just because I'm an eternally nice guy, it's because I don't want to be a source of stress and anxiety in somebody else's world.
• 22:58
  Dave Kropf: And by doing that, by not letting somebody in, somebody who is wrong, like we're in traffic right and somebody needs to merge in front of me and the lane is ending and they know it's ending they saw the sign a mile back and part of me could be like Captain America, like no, I am right, sense of justice, overload, I'm not gonna let you in and, believe me, every time I have to tamp that down or I could just ease off the gas and let somebody in.
• 23:23
  Dave Kropf: Yes, they were wrong and I am right.
• 23:27
  Dave Kropf: But the sense of being right comes out of cost, and a cost is some sort of confrontation or a moment of anxiety or stress, but when I just let off the gas and let them in, extend to some grace because, who knows, man, they might be having the worst day, they might be late to If they're on I4, they are having the worst day.
• 23:51
  Dave Kropf: I mean they might be late to a job interview that they need so that they could buy baby formula.
• 23:56
  Dave Kropf: I don't know, Knowing doesn't make it, that's not the point.
• 24:00
  Dave Kropf: So if I just let them go on right, Then it feels like a win-win situation, you know.
• 24:10
  Shannon Kropf: Sure, and I wanna be careful in the way we talk about this, because being full of grace is not being a doormat, and so it's not always just I don't count in this equation.
• 24:29
  Shannon Kropf: Whatever, let everybody else do whatever.
• 24:33
  Shannon Kropf: There's a big component of grace, that's compassion and empathy for others, and that's what you're saying when you're saying this person could be trying to get to a job interview, could have somebody in the hospital, could you know?
• 24:49
  Shannon Kropf: We don't know.
• 24:49
  Shannon Kropf: Or they could just be an asshole, whatever.
• 24:51
  Shannon Kropf: Maybe they are, who knows, doesn't matter to me, because I'm still going to act with empathy and consideration and compassion for them.
• 25:02
  Shannon Kropf: And where this really is helpful is in our careers and in our industry, because you know, yeah, people do sometimes miss deadlines.
• 25:12
  Shannon Kropf: Or, you know, I'm not a production music composer, I'm a live music director, and so I have lots and lots of in-face one-on-one artful dealings, conversations, whatever, and it's really, really easy to kind of just flip into production mode and like, no, we're not doing that, shut up, you know.
• 25:38
  Shannon Kropf: Whereas if I've got my compassion and empathy feelers out in the room, I'm able to kind of make space, as you said, for whatever each person is going through.
• 25:54
  Shannon Kropf: Now, does that make me a doormat?
• 25:57
  Shannon Kropf: No, and I'm going to tell you why.
• 25:59
  Shannon Kropf: Because I am full of grace for all people.
• 26:07
  Shannon Kropf: And when I say no, this is how this is going to be, people who know me understand that I mean that I'm not just blowing smoke, you know.
• 26:16
  Shannon Kropf: I don't ever.
• 26:17
  Shannon Kropf: I'm not the hard-ass just for the pleasure of being that.
• 26:21
  Shannon Kropf: But when I say no, this is how this is going to be, people take it seriously.
• 26:29
  Shannon Kropf: So there's an old proverb that says beware the anger of a patient man.
• 26:35
  Shannon Kropf: And it's a little bit like that.
• 26:37
  Shannon Kropf: Like if you know somebody who's very, very patient and they're getting angry, hold on something's off, you know They've reached the end of their patience.
• 26:47
  Shannon Kropf: So it's a little bit like that If I've gotten to the point where we're at the end of grace, then there's been a lot going on there.
• 26:59
  Dave Kropf: And I think that's kind of how it was received, with the whole grumpy cat message from earlier this week because I think folks know my heart, they know that that were.
• 27:11
  Dave Kropf: You know I'm not gatekeeping anything.
• 27:13
  Dave Kropf: You know we're all here to get better and we're all here to help forward our careers and get placements and all of that.
• 27:22
  Dave Kropf: And so they understood it.
• 27:23
  Dave Kropf: And I actually got some encouragement from some other folks in the community because I did find myself kind of tripping over like oh, I'm so sorry, and being a little, probably a little too wormy, just because I don't want it to ever come off like harsh but like I mentioned in that message.
• 27:42
  Dave Kropf: I would much rather folks learn like these boundaries and these methods and procedures, and I would much rather them learn in this environment when it's kind of just me versus out there yeah, safe, 100%, you know Versus out there in the wild Right where, when you might torch a relationship with or torch your professional credibility.
• 28:10
  Shannon Kropf: Right, right by, just by sending it something in a wrong format or a wrong link or something like that which is crazy.
• 28:17
  Shannon Kropf: Yeah, but it happens.
• 28:19
  Dave Kropf: Because it absolutely happens.
• 28:21
  Dave Kropf: And so having grace, having grace with folks, like professionally, who may have, dare I say, wrong view, like, let's say, that you are working with somebody you know and they make a mistake, they say something, they miss a deadline, having grace for them.
• 28:42
  Dave Kropf: And that leads me into our final topic, which is forgiveness Having grace and understanding, empathy and compassion when somebody messes up or somebody whatever, but also transitioning into a mindset of forgiveness.
• 29:04
  Dave Kropf: And I know you and you could talk for a whole other hour about situations that have arisen in our lives, but I want to bring up one specifically.
• 29:15
  Dave Kropf: So I bet well, this would have been 20 years ago or so.
• 29:20
  Dave Kropf: This was before we left North Carolina, which was before Memphis.
• 29:24
  Dave Kropf: Now we've been in Florida going on 12 years.
• 29:27
  Dave Kropf: We were 11 years in Memphis.
• 29:28
  Dave Kropf: So wow, 22 years, 23 years ago.
• 29:31
  Shannon Kropf: Yeah, we went out to Memphis in summer 2001,.
• 29:36
  Shannon Kropf: Right.
• 29:37
  Dave Kropf: Yep.
• 29:37
  Dave Kropf: So I worked at a company a little startup company and, long story short, they got behind on payroll and bonuses that were promised to us and at the end of the day they owed me about $10,000.
• 29:55
  Dave Kropf: And I clung onto that.
• 30:00
  Dave Kropf: And this is how startups go sometimes, you know whatever.
• 30:04
  Dave Kropf: They ran out of venture capital and they ended up, you know, missing payroll and stuff.
• 30:08
  Dave Kropf: So, needless to say, I left and moved on to another company, but I held onto that $10,000.
• 30:16
  Dave Kropf: And I was like they owe me $10,000.
• 30:18
  Dave Kropf: And even though I had mentally Like I wasn't expecting it anymore and it's like our budget absorbed it and all of that blah blah, but in my mind that company still owed me $10,000.
• 30:34
  Dave Kropf: And I was having breakfast with a friend and I remember saying you know, telling him the story and said well, it's all good, you know I've forgiven the debt, but you know it still owes me $10,000.
• 30:50
  Dave Kropf: And he stopped me, looked me dead in the eyes and said you have not forgiven them Because in my mind, forgiveness was like not expecting it.
• 31:01
  Dave Kropf: He goes.
• 31:02
  Dave Kropf: No, when you forgive that, you release it.
• 31:06
  Dave Kropf: They no longer owe you that money.
• 31:10
  Dave Kropf: And that was a real clear picture for me of what forgiveness is.
• 31:21
  Shannon Kropf: Yeah, and you know, that story is the perfect illustration of something that it took me a while to realize, which is forgiveness is not about the other person at all.
• 31:33
  Shannon Kropf: It has nothing to do with them changing behaviors or coming back to apologize or you owe me this.
• 31:41
  Shannon Kropf: It is 100% to do with yourself.
• 31:45
  Shannon Kropf: And what I mean by that is when you're like well, I've forgiven them, but they still owe me $10,000.
• 31:51
  Shannon Kropf: They're still living in your head.
• 31:55
  Shannon Kropf: That's still a burden you're carrying around.
• 31:59
  Shannon Kropf: You're like here's this $10,000 they owe me.
• 32:02
  Shannon Kropf: I'm going to carry it around and, you know, take it with me everywhere I go.
• 32:07
  Shannon Kropf: But when you release that, when you truly forgive, like no, you don't owe me $10,000, it's done, it's over, then you're the one putting the burden down, right, you know.
• 32:21
  Shannon Kropf: So it's not to say that you would go back into business with them necessarily, right?
• 32:32
  Shannon Kropf: One of the more damaging phrases is forgive and forget, maybe not.
• 32:36
  Shannon Kropf: You can forgive and still decide that that's enough of that, whatever it is relationship or working relationship or whatever, and I forgive it and I bless it and cool, it's gone, moving on now.
• 32:52
  Shannon Kropf: That doesn't mean you have to go run right back to that situation.
• 32:58
  Shannon Kropf: Forgiveness doesn't equal like everything's great.
• 33:02
  Shannon Kropf: I've got a couple of people from my past who are very, very dear to me, who I hope they've forgiven me.
• 33:08
  Shannon Kropf: I've forgiven them.
• 33:09
  Shannon Kropf: We're not besties anymore and that's okay.
• 33:11
  Shannon Kropf: We've all grown and learned and we've moved on.
• 33:16
  Shannon Kropf: So what it does is it really sets yourself.
• 33:21
  Shannon Kropf: It sets yourself free from carrying all of that crap around with you.
• 33:25
  Shannon Kropf: Because, as you were saying earlier, if we're going to try to keep this positive sort of mindset, we can't be curling up in our blanket of grievance and then expecting to keep warm and be happy.
• 33:39
  Shannon Kropf: It makes no sense.
• 33:40
  Shannon Kropf: It's not energetically compatible.
• 33:42
  Shannon Kropf: Yeah, it's a holistic thing, isn't it Like?
• 33:47
  Shannon Kropf: gratitude, grace forgiveness for me.
• 33:48
  Dave Kropf: Creativity and success and positivity.
• 33:51
  Dave Kropf: It's a whole system.
• 33:59
  Dave Kropf: It's a whole body, mind, spiritual system.
• 34:02
  Dave Kropf: And so if you're holding on to unforgiveness and let's say forgive and forget, it's more like forgive and bury the hatchet right, or don't hold a grudge, because forget means it gives them permission to kind of if it's a toxic situation or abusive or whatever.
• 34:21
  Dave Kropf: You're not giving them permission to continue abusive behavior.
• 34:24
  Dave Kropf: What you are doing is that you're no longer holding on to that.
• 34:29
  Dave Kropf: And that's where I was.
• 34:30
  Dave Kropf: I had forgiven the debt, but I had held that grudge, which is a form of unforgiveness.
• 34:39
  Dave Kropf: I wasn't expecting the $10,000, but they still wronged me.
• 34:44
  Dave Kropf: No, no, no, no.
• 34:48
  Dave Kropf: And so it's all connected.
• 34:53
  Dave Kropf: And I think if you've been hurt, whether it's professionally or personally, but professional hurt can really stick on you Ooh, it's bad.
• 35:02
  Dave Kropf: And we've worked in the church, then you have like professional church hurt.
• 35:07
  Dave Kropf: Ooh, that will really stick on you.
• 35:10
  Dave Kropf: And so, when it comes time to push into something new and to try something, you have that still staying standing in your way.
• 35:20
  Dave Kropf: And so in this time the season whether you're in the US or not there's a season of thankfulness, gratitude.
• 35:29
  Dave Kropf: Obviously, pause and consider what you're grateful for, but I would also encourage you to pause and consider what are you holding onto which is keeping you from your truest gratitude?
• 35:47
  Dave Kropf: What was the standing in the way between you and the next version of yourself, the next?
• 35:53
  Dave Kropf: I don't know if you wanna say enlightened or whatever, but well, I will say lighter.
• 35:58
  Dave Kropf: Right, You're setting down things that you don't need to carry and you will become a lighter person.
• 36:05
  Dave Kropf: Yes, I've seen that, or I've heard, like the saying that not forgiving somebody is like taking poison and expecting them to get sick.
• 36:17
  Dave Kropf: Right, exactly, If you're holding onto unforgiveness, that's what it's like the poison's in you, but you're expecting them to get sick because you're not forgiving them.
• 36:29
  Shannon Kropf: And I know that it's very lovely for us to both sit here and go oh yeah, just forgive.
• 36:33
  Shannon Kropf: It is difficult and sometimes you need help with it.
• 36:38
  Shannon Kropf: It's not something that you can just muddle through on your own, depending on what the situation is and how deeply it's affected you, and whether or not-- this is gonna sound weird-- whether or not you've believed or taken on in your identity, whatever this problem was.
• 36:56
  Shannon Kropf: Sometimes these things go a little deeper than just if it's forgiven, it's gone, and so you may need help from a therapist, and that's totally okay.
• 37:08
  Shannon Kropf: There are professionals who know how to help you move through this.
• 37:11
  Shannon Kropf: There's also my friend, Cynthia Alice Anderson, has a book called the Seven Spiritual Laws of Release, and she actually cites another lady I think her name is Jane Elizabeth Hart I hope I've gotten that right and she has like a meditation where you go up seven steps and it basically walks you through the situation or the relationship, celebrating what was good about it, understanding what was not optimal and moving you through until you can release these things.
• 37:47
  Shannon Kropf: And so there are meditations on forgiveness out there if you're really wanting to jump in and do the work and get rid of some of this baggage.
• 37:56
  Shannon Kropf: Good Lord, right.
• 37:57
  Shannon Kropf: So I just no, it's not easy.
• 38:02
  Shannon Kropf: We're not assuming that you'll be able to just boom forgiven, all is good.
• 38:07
  Shannon Kropf: It's a serious thing, depending again on the depth of the hurt or the situation or whatever's going on.
• 38:18
  Dave Kropf: Yeah, I mean cause you might be dealing with some real wounding, some actual like legit trauma.
• 38:24
  Dave Kropf: That needs help and that's fine.
• 38:26
  Dave Kropf: And so, yeah, we're definitely not saying just gloss it over.
• 38:29
  Dave Kropf: I mean there is, you know, on a scale of somebody cut me off in traffic, you know, to abusive spouse, right, there's a big there's a spectrum.
• 38:41
  Dave Kropf: There's a spectrum and obviously here at 52 Cues we keep things focused on production, music and the professional side of things.
• 38:51
  Dave Kropf: But, like I said earlier, it's all connected.
• 38:53
  Dave Kropf: You know if how you treat yourself, how you eat, you know your exercise, how you get enough sleep.
• 39:00
  Dave Kropf: You know this all connects to your creativity, your creative process, your output, your relationships with publishers, your relationships with your clients, your other composing, your friends, your family.
• 39:13
  Dave Kropf: Yeah, you can't just I can't step down from the studio and be a totally different person than at the dinner table Right or at the office or walking the dog.
• 39:23
  Dave Kropf: You're the same person.
• 39:24
  Dave Kropf: Yeah, you might wear different hats and have different shades of character, but you're fundamentally the same person.
• 39:32
  Shannon Kropf: You know how I heard somebody put it, and this was years ago.
• 39:34
  Shannon Kropf: I'm not gonna get it right, but it's like you're the same person.
• 39:37
  Shannon Kropf: Sometimes you're wearing a tuxedo and sometimes you're wearing pajamas right, you know, you're around the house having dinner, you're in your pajamas, or you're out with a group of people, you've got your tux on, you're a little more formal, but you're the same person and I think that's a great way of looking at it like just different shades of the same person.
• 40:00
  Dave Kropf: Which is why I'm totally fine talking about this kind of stuff.
• 40:03
  Dave Kropf: Now, we're not gonna talk about spirituality and woo-woo every single week here, nope, but it's part of who I am, it's part of this is not tuxedo, dave, or this isn't business hat, dave, but it's still Dave and some of you might resonate with it, some of you might not, and that's totally fine.
• 40:24
  Dave Kropf: It's completely fine, it's okay.
• 40:26
  Dave Kropf: But I think when we start from a place of gratitude, extending grace to those who, through empathy, empathy and compassion, and offering up forgiveness in places where we can and maybe should, then I believe that we will find ourselves even more creative, even more fulfilled, professionally, personally, and we'll get to where we're going together.
• 40:54
  Dave Kropf: I firmly, firmly believe that you know, and part of like what I say at the end of every episode that the universe has amazing plans.
• 41:01
  Dave Kropf: That's connected to all of this.
• 41:03
  Dave Kropf: It's connected to all of this.
• 41:06
  Dave Kropf: So I'm thankful for you viewers, listeners, shannon, I'm very, very thankful for you, thankful that you are part of my life, I'm thankful that you're on this journey with me.
• 41:23
  Dave Kropf: Again, I'm talking to Shannon and viewers, listeners, community.
• 41:27
  Shannon Kropf: Thank you, everybody.
• 41:28
  Dave Kropf: It really is my pleasure to be with you on this journey and help out however I can, but I just wanna thank you for being a part of this and for your support for subscribing or just listening.
• 41:44
  Dave Kropf: This might be the first time you've ever heard of me, so we're gonna return to our regularly scheduled podcast next week.
• 41:50
  Dave Kropf: We've got really good episodes coming up, but thanks for joining us today and remember that the universe really does have amazing plans just for you.
• 42:02
  Dave Kropf: Until next time and I mean this I send you out with peace.
• 42:08
  Dave Kropf: The 52 Cues podcast is copyright 2023 at 18 Studios.
• 42:14
  Dave Kropf: All Rights Reserved.
• 42:15
  Dave Kropf: The music played on the podcast is copyrighted with their respective owners and is used with permission and for educational purposes only.
• 42:20
  Dave Kropf: For more information and including joining the community and submitting your cue for consideration on the podcast, head over to 52cues.
• 42:27
  Dave Kropf: com.