Latest / The Rochelle Christiane Podcast / 283. The Era of Softening Into Self

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283. The Era of Softening Into Self · The Rochelle Christiane Podcast

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Rochelle Christian Podcast.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Rochelle, your host.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm here to help you come back to your body, take charge of your emotions, and live life on your terms.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast is a space for raw, real conversations about what it means to trust yourself, lean into your power, and create a life that feels aligned and alive.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: We'll explore human design, astrology, and other tools to help you understand your unique energy.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: More importantly, though, we're gonna talk about what it means to actually live and embody these aspects.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: So each week I'm gonna share stories, lessons, guidance to help you navigate life's challenges and really own your magic.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're ready to step up, take control, and show up as the most authentic version of you, let's begin.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to another episode on the podcast.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: I just got off a podcast interview with a parent coach and author.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: And the conversation we had was so inspiring and so powerful.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I've been feeling this shift happening within me lately.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: And when I was thinking about what I wanted to come talk about today, we'll talk about the new moon that's happening on Sunday, of course, because it wouldn't be a podcast episode if I didn't talk about the astrology in some way.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: But I think what's more important and prevalent to talk about right now is this sort of shift because I'm not the only one experiencing it.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: But what I think that is so beautiful about it is this like softening into myself, this understanding of spirituality, of the universe, of source, of relationships, of connection, of just I think who I am.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: And this is a conversation that, you know, in this conversation, I'm not gonna share all of it because it'll be on the podcast, but something that I think is really important and something that so many of us experience, right, is in childhood.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: I think as children, we are constantly seeking approval, seeking love.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like this is one of our core needs as a child is to seek love.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: And what happens is we learn the ways that our parents, especially highly sensitive, I think, everybody is nuanced and everyone is beautiful and everybody is their own.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it's always so fascinating to me how children or adults become who they are based on how they were raised and how one child wasn't affected by the wills of a parent and the other child is infected, affected greatly, right?
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: But ultimately, we learned how we needed to show up in order to receive love.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, this is where attachment theory comes in because if you're a dismissive avoidant, what typically happens with dismissive avoidant adults is that at children they received a lot of neglect.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so they had to come inside and care for themselves, right?
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: They had to nurture themselves, they had to love themselves, or they had to, I don't even know that love themselves is really the right word, but they had to show up for themselves, they had to tend for themselves, they had to care for themselves, right?
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I would hope that as an adult, they would love themselves.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: But there's this piece of just really seeking this validation, seeking to be seen, seeking to be loved, right?
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times we contort and we twist ourselves to fit into these boxes that weren't really made for us, but that's how we were taught would get us that love that we were seeking.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, my journey has been, you know, of course, for me, it's been challenging.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: But I think, you know, emotionally is a big piece that I've worked through is emotions and showing up in relationships.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I think just self-confidence, right?
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Self-knowing my worth, showing up in my confidence.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: And that in itself has been a whole journey.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: But over the past year, I've really felt this acceptance of just like being who I am.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that when I look back on all the ways that I felt like I twisted and morphed my body.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I always say in relationships in the past, right, it was like I was just being shoved into this little box that like I just didn't fit in.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I never quite understood it, right?
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't have the personality that was, and I say this with a caveat, right?
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: But I didn't have the personality that was like, look at me.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I used to get really triggered by those types of people, but as a Leo Moon and Rising, of course, that's part of who I am, but I felt like I had to suppress those parts of myself in order to receive love, in order to be seen.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: And it's really been interesting witnessing and beginning to unhook from all these narratives that I had.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: And and a big narrative that I hold is that if I'm emotional, people will leave me.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: If people see how emotional I am, if people see how intensely I feel, they will leave me.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: This is a narrative that I picked up.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so for a lot of my life in my late teens, early 20s, I used to pride myself.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't cry.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like that.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: The guys' girl, a lot of my friends were guys, I didn't really get along that well with women.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and you know, I remember when I was married with my ex who was in the Navy, and I felt like we would go to people's houses, right?
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: And it was like this expectation that the women were gonna go do this and the men were gonna go do this.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember like hating that.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like I didn't want to be separated.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to hang out with the men and I wanted to like, um, and you know, partly that was part of like my wounding of not wanting feeling judged or or whatever, but also like I think maybe feeling more validation or feeling more seen when I was around men.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: And like I said, over the last year, there's so much that's been peeled back, so much that I had two, I would say, dating, uh, it was pretty quiet on the dating front, but there were two men that really I felt like were massive mirrors for me.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: Neither of them were long, uh, and neither of them were significant in the sense that, you know, we weren't in, it wasn't like a boyfriend or anything like that.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: But just two souls that came into my life at a moment where I needed that reflection to see where I needed to do the work and to see my pain and to see where I still needed to show up.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: But through that, I was able to accept myself a little bit more.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that the softness and the shift that I'm feeling is this settling into myself.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: And we all have different journeys.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm 39 and I feel like over the last, probably since my nodal return has really enhanced that, right?
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: Or has really intensified my need to accept myself, to be okay with myself.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: And 2025 just stripped so much away that it got to a point where I had to accept myself.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: I had to find peace within myself.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: I had to love myself because all the outside noise and all the storm that was brewing on the outside could have easily just like swept me up and spit me out somewhere else if I had allowed it.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: But it was like I had to be the anchor in my own storm.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I had to find love for myself.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I think one of the most powerful things that we can do for ourselves is spending time in our own inner world, in our own inner experience, exploring the edges of our consciousness, exploring what we value, what we believe in, who we are, exploring our triggers, exploring the things that are uncomfortable, exploring the things that we don't want to face about ourselves, accepting all of the emotions and why and peeling in.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like sometimes that that journey can be super long, or it doesn't have to be super long.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: But I think sometimes that journey, we we avoid it because we don't want to, we don't want to face the discomfort and the pain of what's actually inside of us.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: But it's actually such a beautiful, beautiful experience to come inside and to do that work.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: The podcast interview I was just on, the woman is a highly sensitive and she has an undefined solar plexus.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: And she was talking about being able to feel the emotions of others.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I asked her, is the emotions of others a different texture for you?
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: Is it a different frequency for you?
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how do you separate and how do you witness that and how do you understand that?
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: And you'll hear the episode when it comes out.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: But she described it as being because of that work, because she came inside for and just got and she works in the world of highly sensitives, right?
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because she got so familiar with what she feels like, it's easier to witness, like she said, the emotions of others don't feel like a match to her, and she can feel it.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: And so often we don't explore ourselves enough.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: And this is a practice that we do inside Holistic Human Design Academy, now Astro Design School, anyone that works with me in any sort of capacity, clients students, this is an exercise I love to do that I actually learned from Lauren Aletta years ago when I was in one of her classes.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: When you come inside, and I think with Lauren, we were simply just in meditation, kind of exploring the body, but I loved it so much and it was so powerful for me that I do it now when I feel a heightened emotion, but we can do it at any point.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're listening and you want to do it, you know, make sure you're not driving, you know.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: But like I said, for me more specifically, I do this when I'm really activated.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of avoiding, suppressing, shutting down, bypassing, not witnessing all of the things, when you're feeling an emotion, and it can be something so small.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: I do this, you know, this morning I was journaling or I was reading, I think, and something made me feel I got a little tight in my chest.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: And instead of just like moving on and carrying on with my day, I actually just sink into it.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: Be like, and the thing is our mind wants to know.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes we don't, there is no answer.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I I don't know why I felt that tension in my chest, but I think just being with it and allowing it is a thing that allowed it to move, to shift.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: But okay, back to the practice.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: So what I love to do in a practice is like if you're feeling something.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: So for me, understanding what uh expansion feels like and what contraction feels like.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: What makes you feel expanded?
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: What do you need in your day to feel lit up, to feel excited, to feel expansive?
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: And what during your day makes you feel contracted and restricted and like ugh, right?
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like what gives you that like stuck feeling?
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: And when you feel either of these experiences, but I think so often it's a lot easier to dive into the negative, I guess, perceived experience emotion.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: But when you're feeling that feeling, can you come inside?
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: So if you close your eyes and you come inside, and let's just say you feel it right here in your chest.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: Literally describing it.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: What does it look like?
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: What shape is it?
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: What color is it?
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: What texture is it?
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: Once you give it its own, uh the word personality is coming to me, and that's not quite the right word, but once you give it its own appearance isn't the right word either.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: But once you give it something, right?
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: The ego can maybe you're giving it its own.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: What there's a word I'm looking for, and it's completely escaped me about texture.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you one of one of those words, right?
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: Once you give it its own thing, its own space, its own like 3D-ness, um, it lessens a little bit, right?
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's like when my son was younger, I heard somebody describe, I think it was like a psychologist.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: If you name the part, it lessens its hold on you.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: So my son can be real quick to anger.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: He's a Scorpio rising, Mars is on his ascendant, and he's real quick to anger.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: So we started naming the anger.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: He used to call him the Hulk.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'd be like, oh, is the Hulk coming out to talk to me, or am I talking to Christian?
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: And he'd kind of giggle and then we'd be able to talk about it.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: It lessened the weight of the thing, right?
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: It lessened without avoiding, hopefully, it lessened the emotional intensity or like the stigma attached to it, right?
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I think a lot of emotions as we've grown up, you know, I think especially as women, being angry is one of those things, one of those emotions that we're told, like, girls don't do that.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: Why would you be angry?
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think for women specifically, anger is one of those things that it's just it's hard to show up in.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: I think we confuse what anger is, we confuse the purpose of anger.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's really showing us when there's been an injustice or a boundary's been crossed.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it'll show us that we need to set a boundary.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like being able to be in that the other day, I had a situation where I got really mad.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: And my go-to is just to like shut it down.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: This isn't the place, like, stop, like whatever.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: Or on the flip side, I'm just moody all day.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't want to be in either places, I didn't want to be moody.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: The person that you know made me mad, it wasn't their fault.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: They were just relaying a message or the situation and whatever.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so I realized that I had two options.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I guess three.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: It could have been I could have shoved it down, or I could have been angry about it all day.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: And the third option is that I could acknowledge that thing that made me angry and choose something different.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: So in the Kabalian, which I've been rereading, it talks about mental transmutation.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: It talks about being able to, you know, the law of polarity.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: So how two seemingly opposite things are actually just varying degrees on the same pole.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: So hot and cold, love and hate, hard and soft, like there's no point where it's like now it switches, right?
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: They're just different degrees on the same pole.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: So according to the Kabalian, according to mental transmutation, if you're feeling and experiencing, let's say, anger, what is the opposite of anger?
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: Joy, right?
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: So witnessing that you're feeling angry, but choosing a different degree of emotion on the same pole, right?
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: So in that moment, I was like, okay, I'm actually really, really pissed off right now.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I see that.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: I allow that.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I let myself walk around in that anger for a good five minutes.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, but I again I knew I didn't want to spend my whole day moody.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: It was gonna impact everybody.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: I've really learned as an emotional being how much my moods impact others when I don't necessarily realize it sometimes.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so I was like, okay, I don't want to be in that space.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: And so I just chose to reach for a different emotion.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I don't have to know how I'm gonna get there.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: I just choose to show up in that frequency versus the frequency I'm currently in.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I couldn't even tell you what the switch was, but I was able to switch it.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: I was able to change the degree of the emotion that I was in.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I had an amazing day.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: I was just like super social.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: I was taught, I met like it just was such a good day.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: But there was a point where it was a choice to either stay in my anger and let my anger define my day, or witness it, acknowledge it, and choose to reach for something different, to reach for a different emotion.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: And again, it's not bypassing because I was able to witness and I would let myself sit in that anger for a minute, right?
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: Kind of like let myself think all the things and had that space of just like feeling it.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: But I was like, no, this is not who I want to be right now.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: This is not how I want to show up.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: This is not how I want people to experience me.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like there's always a choice.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: We don't always want to admit that there's a choice because sometimes it's easier to be the victim, right?
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: Of just like, I'm so mad and you did this to me.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I, you know, it's life.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's human nature, right?
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's that saying where it's like the only way out is through.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: And on my roller coaster journey of emotions, of regulating, of coming into right relationship, right relationship.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: Is there a right relationship with our emotions?
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: I think there only is the relationship you're in with your emotions.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: It has been really challenging.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: And but it's also so true.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: The only way out is through.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: We can't bypass it, we can't avoid it, we can't jump over it.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's always gonna get, it's it's always gonna be there knocking on our door, unless we go, we open the door and go through it.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: And once we've gone through it, then we've passed it, you know, we've we've gone through.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: There is in the Kabalian, they speak of rhythm, the law of rhythm.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: And all of these laws in the Kabalian, kind of like they all work together, right?
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: There is, let me see if I can remember.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: I've been trying to memorize them.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: So there's the law of mental transmutation, the law of polarity, the law of correspondence, the law of cause and effect, the law of rhythm, the law of gender, and oh my gosh, mental transmutation, correspondence, vibration, law of vibration.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: So they all like work together.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: But the law of rhythm spe says where you go, like if you think of like a pendulum, right?
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: The higher up you go makes sense, the law of rhythm, the higher up you're gonna go on the other side, right?
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: But there's this extra little law they have in there called the law of neutralization.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: And so what this says is you know, in theory, the higher you go, let's say you go into an emotional state, you're ecstatic, you're so excited.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: The law of rhythm says that as excited as you are, you're gonna dip back and you're gonna swing into disappointment or whatever the opposite of excited is fear, let's say there's a law of neutralization that says you can swing to varying degrees, you know, in and out in the side of excitement and not have to dip back into the negative side.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: Does that make sense?
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: So you're still swinging, you're still going in, you're still going out, but you don't have to go all the way back out to let's just say joy and and sadness, right?
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to swing all the way, or yeah, excitement or depression, I guess is the word that's coming to me.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not gonna happen overnight, right?
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: I think that there's varying degrees where you're gonna go up and you're gonna go equal points down.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: But with this new law of neutralization, then maybe you'll go even further up.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna go equal parts down, but it's not gonna be as lower because you went further.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: Then you're gonna go further up, and it's it's so you can eventually get to the point where you're in this law of rhythm in the high vibration and not having to dip so low into the low vibration, right?
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_00: And so as I've been reading this and as I've been going through it again, and as I've been just working on myself and all of these things and having these awarenesses and realizations, and it's just been like it's been an interesting year because actually, so I've been in Texas for 11 years now.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: Gosh, I think almost 12 years.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's been a really interesting place for me in my life because most everywhere that I go, I always make friends.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: I always have connections.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: I always, I always have a base of people.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: Texas has been this place where I feel like I have not yet found that.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I have a lot of acquaintances.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: I've met a lot of people here.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: But I don't know that there's I don't have like a group.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have a community, we'll say that.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: My community currently is online.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: I and they're amazing human beings, amazing human beings, but they're not in my day-to-day like physical existence reality.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's been a really weird experience here.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: And so specifically, you know, over the last let's eight years that I've been single, my community, I guess, has primarily been men that I'm dating, just people that I hang out with, right?
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so obviously, when you stop being romantically involved in somebody, it's it's hard to like stay in hangout and all that kind of stuff.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: So it's been this really rare thing.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: So the last year I said that there was two men that like were massive mirrors to me.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I, you know, I've met people over the last year and I've I've hung out with people here and there.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: And always in the summer, I have more of a social life when my kids aren't here.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um but this past year, everything that I've been moving through, everything I've been sorting through, everything that's been pulled from me has really allowed me to come inside and do the work and really get even deeper into relationship with myself and who I am.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: I also feel like over the last couple of years, I've really been leaning into my Venusian energy.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: So this is something I've talked about it before too, but I feel like what was so valued growing up was more the masculine energy, the assertion, the hard work, the taking action, the being bold, the being loud.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: And although we need a balance of all of it, right?
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: The masculine, oh yeah, the law of gender.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: I did say that in the Kabalian, but there is the law of gender, and it's not men and women, it's not sex in the 3D, it's energetic frequency of masculine and feminine.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_00: And we need a balance of it, right?
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's like the law of rhythm.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: We need that what goes up must come down, as above, so below.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like we have to have this balance of the two of them.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: But in my life, you know, being a single mom, making decisions and working and all the things, like I was so much more leaning into my masculine.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: And when I reflect on relationships in the past, I feel like I never fully felt in my feminine era, we'll say my soft girl era.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: We can call it that, right?
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: Soft girl energy.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: I was always like had to just, I felt like I had to be a certain way.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so being so Venusian, like my in astrology, my rising is Leo.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: So my son rules in my is my chart ruler.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_00: My son isn't Taurus, and Taurus is Venus ruled.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I have a Taurus Delium, Taurus is my mid-heaven, so career-wise, like there's all this softness, this this Venusian sort of energy that I've really been craving.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: And so I feel like I've really been leaning into that, like softening into myself and just like the way we relate to myself and others and showing up.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it's been this really big reflection year, right?
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: Of like, who do I want to be?
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: And even like listening to podcasts and listening to podcast hosts.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: I think the ones that I love the most that it resonates with so much with the most, I one of my favorite questions in podcasts is when somebody explains something and they're like, what does that mean to you?
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: Or like, tell me more about that, right?
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I just I don't know.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: I just like love that.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so, and like the pauses and the like when you're really listening to somebody, and that's something I always try and do on the podcast, is I just I really and sometimes it throws me because it's like I'm listening so intently that like actually my questions have gone.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't have any questions because I'm like, tell me more.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I just want to like hear what you're saying.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: And and so, but actually, this year has been really quiet on podcast interviews for most of the year until I think around the fall, then I picked them up again.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_00: Cause that is like some one place that really I love being a podcaster.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_00: I love interviewing, I love connecting, I love asking questions.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_00: I just love all of that that comes with it.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so I feel like, yeah, really softening into that.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I think one of the biggest lessons, journeys that I've been on is this like I don't have to be anybody but me.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I'm imperfect.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: We all are, nobody's perfect, and like being okay with that, right?
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like I can see somebody online doing something, be like, wow, cool, that works for them.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_00: And not feeling like the need to like show up and and scramble to try and do what they're doing because it works for them.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we're all so different, right?
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_00: We're all so different.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: So it just like releases pressure of like feeling like I have to perform or I have to like be anything because that was causing so much resistance in myself of just like, oh, I have to show up this way, and I can like I can feel it in coming in to myself and like really discerning my feelings and and and what's expansive and what's not and what makes me feel stuck, right?
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: And like really like exploring what that feels like has really helped me too of like, oh, that actually doesn't feel good.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like I don't want to be, and like knowing the difference between like I don't want to be in that room versus that room makes me uncomfortable because that's the place I need to be in.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's a huge one, right?
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's like that that that fear and like fear and excitement, right?
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like what's a no and what's an actual like it's actually yes, but I'm terrified.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's been a huge challenge because I of course, if we want to do something and it's scary, like our we want to be kept safe, right?
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: But like understanding the nuances and the texture of like what that actually feels like in your body, right?
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like knowing, like, oh, that's actually a hell no.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not even gonna entertain that versus, oh, I really want that, but I'm terrified of what that means that I have to do.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's a huge one.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_00: And that's that's something I've been facing a lot of like, yeah, what I really wanna do, but it's scary, and I'm sabotaging because it feels uncomfortable.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: And my ego wants to believe that that means I don't want to do it, but really I'm just scared, right?
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: And being able to be in that space.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's really just coming inside and getting to know yourself.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, Astro Design School starts January 21st, which is next week.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: And this is a year-long program where we're really going to be exploring that.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: We're really going to be exploring our inner world through the lens of astrology, human design, gene keys.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_00: We're going through the seasons, we're understanding the gates, we're understanding the signs and the blue.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: We're like, this is that, you know, three E method.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: I was revisiting some of my old marketing content yesterday, and I was like, yeah, that I don't know why I stopped talking about that, but it's like uh educate, evolve, educate, embody, evolve.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_00: Those are the three E's, right?
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's like I'm always a learner, will always be a learner.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: There's no way around it.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_00: I actually wish I could grab my Kabbalah book.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: I actually might be able to.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: Hold on, let me see.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, there was something in here that I wanted to read.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_00: And um let me see if it's in here if I can find it.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: But okay, yeah, this is the very first thing.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so educate.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_00: I will forever be a student.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: My Venus is in Gemini.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: I love learning.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: I love information.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_00: I always say if I could learn, I just want to know the secrets of the world.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_00: I want to know everything that I can about as much as I can because I just love knowledge.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_00: So there's always gonna be that piece.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm always gonna be the teacher in that sense.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like I want, yes, I want you to embody it and I want you to be it, but I want you to understand on a logical level.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_00: I can't, I can't bypass that part of who I am, and I love that.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_00: So that educate is the very first piece.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: We're learning these things.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: But embody, we're not just learning.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: This isn't just an intellectual game because this is what the Kabalian says.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_00: The possession of knowledge, unless accompanied by a manifestation and expression in action, is like the hoarding of precious metals, a vain and foolish thing.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_00: Knowledge, like wealth, is intended for use.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_00: The law of the use is universal, and he who violates it suffers by reason of his conflict with natural forces.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_00: The possession of knowledge, unless accompanied by a manifestation, expression, and action, is like the hoarding of precious metals, a vain and foolish thing.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: It is intended for use.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: So that embody piece of it, right?
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: We've we have the information, we have the knowledge, because if you're like me, and if you're like the women that I've worked with, it becomes this mental trip.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: You're trying so hard to intellectualize, to understand, because we think that's gonna make it land, right?
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_00: But we have to like come in and do the work.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_00: So the embody piece is like, okay, now that we understand those things, what does it actually look like?
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_00: What does it feel in our body?
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: How does it show up for us, right?
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: And in doing this by the seasons, doing this seasonally allows us to really explore that.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_00: And journaling is gonna be a part of it.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: So if you don't have a journaling practice and you join the program, you will be journaling because that is a part of it.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: And what I love about journaling, once we get in the habit of it, is a way to embody this information, a way to witness it and see it and come into it.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_00: Because we're so, so much life is just fast, fast, fast, right?
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_00: And then that final evolve piece is like over that time, we get to look back and we get to look at the patterns, we get to look at the cycles of things, we get to look at how things impacted us.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: Then we can look forward.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_00: And now that we've learned how to use the transits, now that we've learned how to embody and come into relationship with ourselves and our emotions and just like who we are, that's when the evolution really starts, right?
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so if you were interested in the program, it starts January 21st.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_00: The link is going to be down below.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_00: You can pay in full, or you can pay in 12 months or pay monthly.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: But it's gonna be really beautiful.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm also thinking of how to incorporate a little bit.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm gonna switch up the way I'm doing Substack too.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_00: And there's gonna be a variation of that.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it might just be an um elongated.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_00: Is that the right I'm looking for?
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_00: Elongated, uh, extended.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: Extended is the word.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_00: I what I think what I'm thinking is just doing an extended moon circle that encompasses a little bit more of the season.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: So it would be a new moon circle um for the season that we're in, and just kind of like diving in a little bit deeper into that and just doing whoever subscribed, having a live call once a month for that moon circle.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and that will start probably for the new moon in Aquarius.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um so keep an eye on that.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_00: If you are not subscribed to the Substack, uh consider subscribing and just, you know, supporting.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_00: And right now there's uh blogs, posts, new moons, the podcast goes out there, and I just started adding the weekly transit updates for subscribers as well.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_00: And um yeah, because I just feel like where I'm at now versus where I began, uh obviously is so dramatically different.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like we're always changing.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I and I and I think that coming to this seven-year point in uh human design, you know, they say it takes seven years to completely shed every cell in your body and seven years to potentially create a new being.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what you know, human design is based on is these seven-year cycles.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, everything is based on seven-year cycles.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_00: Seven years is just seven is a spiritual number.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's like wrapping up the seven-year cycle and and and just feeling the shift and and knowing, you know, that that saying, it's like the more I know, the more I don't know.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like 100%.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_00: There's still so much that I am like still learning, and so much that I still have to do, and so many places that I still, you know, need to explore just in myself.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, that's where I feel like I'm at.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm at this really soft, grounded, different space.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like, because I feel like before it was this rush to be seen, maybe this rush to fill the space, this rush to be something.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_00: And now it's more of a comfort and confidence.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know, that saying too, I'm all full of sayings today.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_00: Confidence isn't walking into a room and knowing that everybody likes you.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_00: Confidence is walking into a room and not caring if they do or don't, right?
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's the magic point of confidence.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you have people who walk in and they're more, it's more arrogance, right?
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_00: Where's like everybody likes me?
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: But it's actually like walking into a room.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_00: I I'm just I'm so attracted to grounded confidence.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_00: When a man has that, and I'm sure men, if you're listening, you know, when a woman has that grounded confidence, I mean, there's something magnetic about it where it's not, you're not performing, right?
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not saying that I'm never performing because I, but again, going back to exploring myself more, like I can feel when I get there, and so then I can pull back my energy and just be like, hmm, what's this about?
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_00: Why do I feel like I'm performing right now?
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_00: Why do I feel like I have to show up in any way other than just like who I am in my energy?
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_00: And that's a scary place to be because it's like you're in the middle phase of like, ugh, I'm I'm not that person.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_00: I feel myself slipping into that person, but I'm not quite this person yet because I'm still finding myself in here.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's it's like this balancing act.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_00: But I think just the point, I think, of all of this today's conversation is just exploring yourself more deeply so that you can be aware of your patterns and so that you can just be comfortable with it.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, it's not always comfortable.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I always say for me, I'm I'm good if I'm not romantically involved in somebody.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's where my work is.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's where my big work is.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_00: And that's when my patterns and my trauma really come up strongly.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I know that that is where the work is, and that's where I've learned so much about myself, so much about my patterns and so much about my my emotions and how to relate to them and how to show up for them.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like when I get in like a really intense emotional space, like my trauma is like just blurt it out or tell them or make them see how upset you are right now, because then they'll understand.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_00: And but it just never works out that way, right?
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, can we actually like move through it on our own?
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_00: And then when we're in a more neutral space, show up from there.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you're in that like pushing and pulling and resistance place, whatever you say or express likely isn't gonna land in that space.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's like, how can you actually cycle through that to be able to come to a place of like effective communication and actually listening?
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm reading the book, The Queen's Code, which is so powerful, but it's just like what I'm gaining from it a lot is like how we communicate, how we ask for our needs to be met, how we ask and um express, right?
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's ways to do it and and in effective ways to do it.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um so yeah, that's kind of again, that's what's coming up for me this week when I'm really, really leaning into.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um now I'm gonna take myself on a little coffee date and go do some writing and reading and all the things.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_00: But uh thank you so much for listening.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_00: Again, if you're interested in Astro Design School, the link is down below.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_00: You can find me on Instagram and TikTok at Rochelle.christian.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's R-O-C-H-E-L-L-E.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_00: That's C-H-R-E-S-T-I-A-N-E.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_00: Stand store is my website.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so there's a link for the Stan Store down below.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's standstore.com slash rochelle.christian.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_00: And so you can find every way to work with me in there.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, Substack, and obviously the podcast.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_00: You're here if you want to watch the episodes.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_00: I am really working to get every single one on YouTube.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so you can find me over there and share with a friend if you find this helpful.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_00: Rate review, subscribe.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_00: Spotify is just clicking those five stars.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's super easy.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_00: Five stars are whatever you feel like it deserves anyone again.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_00: But I appreciate you so much.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_00: And thank you for being here, and I will talk to you next week.