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Transcript

No One is a Failure Who Has Friends · The Daily Writer

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: One of my favorite movies is the classic It's a Wonderful Life.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Millions of people around the world watch this movie every Christmas season.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Not only because it's a great story with relatable characters, but because it represents one of the most basic truths about life, which is the value of friendship.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: If you've seen the movie, you'll recall the basic plot.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: The main character, George Bailey, feels like a failure because he spent his life working at his father's building and loan and never getting to achieve his dreams of traveling the world and being involved in what he perceives as a more successful career.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: Well, one day it all comes crashing down when his uncle Henry misplaces$8,000, which sends the business's finances into a huge downward spiral.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: And the only way that George sees out of this mess is to take his own life by jumping into the river.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: Well, as you know, Clarence the Angel saves George and gives him the priceless gift of seeing what the world would be like without him.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: And as a result, George comes to realize what a difference he's truly made in countless people's lives in Bedford Falls, the small town where he lives.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: The final scene shows the townspeople coming in to rescue George, donating more than enough to make up the$8,000 loss.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: And on the pile of money, right at the end of the movie, George finds a copy of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, miraculously placed there by the angel Clarence, and the inscription reads, Dear George, remember no man is a failure who has friends.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: What a powerful reminder during the season when so many people struggle with depression and sadness.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: Even though Christmas is a time of joy and giving, or at least it's supposed to be, the honest truth is that a lot of people listening to this episode right now, maybe including you, are struggling just to get through the season, and honestly, you just kind of want it to be done with.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe this year your expectations have been dashed, or you've experienced some kind of setback or failure that has just devastated you.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe you're just struggling to get out of bed each morning, wondering why you should continue putting in the effort.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you, like George Bailey, mistakenly think that the world would be a better place without you.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: Well, if you feel any of those ways, I'm here to tell you that you cannot begin to imagine all the good that you've done in the world.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: Book sales, business, client contracts, social media metrics, podcast downloads, and your income, those things can all go up and down.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: They can come and go.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: But if you have friends, you are indeed a rich man or a rich woman.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: Don't ever believe for one second that you are a failure.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: We need your gifts, we need your talent, we need your writing in the world.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're going through a hard time, I want to encourage you, my friend, keep your chin up, keep pressing on.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: Even on your worst day, remember that your friend, Kent Sanders, is here on the Daily Writer Podcast cheering for your success and rooting you on.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: And these aren't just words that I'm saying on a script.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: This is how I really truly feel.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: I believe that you, even though I may not know who you are, I may know who you are.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I know a lot of my friends that listen to this show, but I may not even know you on a personal level as you're listening to this show.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: So if we don't know each other, I want to say that even though we don't know each other in the knowing each other's name sort of a way, I do know you.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: I know that you're a person that God has gifted with amazing talent.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: I know you're a person who's impacted people in far more countless ways than you can ever possibly imagine.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I know you're capable of great things.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: So if this Christmas season, if you're going through and you see all the joy and the celebration around you, you go to the store and you see all the decorations and you hear the music, and on the outside you kind of pretend to just go along with it.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: But if on the inside you just kind of want all to be done and you just want to get past this Christmas season because for whatever reason, maybe for a number of reasons, you just you just have had kind of a crappy Christmas season.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: I want to tell you, you are a person who's worth something.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: You are worthwhile.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: And shoot, I swear to myself, I I swear to myself I wasn't gonna get emotional on this, but I have I have been in those seasons where I have wondered, is life worth living?
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: Should I go on?
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: I've been in those times where I've been so discouraged that I have I have thought maybe the world is better off without me.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: And that's honestly why I why I really relate to it's a wonderful life.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, this is not the kind of thing that I usually say here on the podcast, but you know, a lot of I know a lot of people who are they're struggling right now, and on the outside, we try to put on a good front, and we try to convince people around us that we're doing okay.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: But if you're not, I just want to tell you you are worth something.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: My goodness, you have no idea the amazing potential that you have, you have no idea what you're capable of.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I just want to encourage you, if you are really having a bad day or if you're really having a bad time, just hang in there.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: Just keep going, keep pressing on.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: This season will end.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: It really will.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: I've been there.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: And even this year, you know, I on the podcast, I try to present myself as somebody who uh has some sort of credibility with writing.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, I try to present myself as somebody who has something to offer to the world.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, the truth is that this year um I've struggled a few times, and I have experienced some discouragement this year with different things.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's the reality of what life is like.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: If we present ourselves like everything is always okay and that life is always going up, up, up, up, up, I don't think that's really honest.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: And as I've said many times here on this show, I uh one of my fundamental values and beliefs is that I have just committed to be brutally honest with you.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: I have no interest in presenting to you a life that seems perfect or where everything is always successful because everything is not always successful.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: Uh sometimes things are wildly successful beyond your imagination, but sometimes you think something is going to be successful and it's uh in fact a big disappointment.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's just the way that life is.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: But the the question is not, are you going to experience failure?
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Are you going to be depressed?
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: Are you going to be discouraged and frustrated sometimes?
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: That's not the issue.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because those things do happen.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: I promise you they happen, and you know that they happen because my guess is this year you've had some things that have been really frustrating in your life and maybe discouraging and you've battled depression.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: So the question is not, are those things going to happen?
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: The real question is, what do you do when those moments happen?
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: And how can you better prepare for those?
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: And how are you going to respond to life whenever life kind of sucks?
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: And whenever things are not going your way, and whenever you thought something was going to be a big success, and instead it's it's just kind of uh it's something that just kind of lays there and doesn't really, you know, do what you thought it was gonna do.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: What do you do in those moments?
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: Well, what you do in those moments is you keep going on and you figure out what went wrong, you don't take it personally, and you you put your big boy pants on, you put your big girl pants on, and you determine to figure out how to fix whatever's going on and how you're gonna deal with it.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, sometimes things happen and we kind of wallow in our discouragement.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I understand it's easy just to you just want to stay in bed and put the covers over your head and think, well, here's here goes another day that's not gonna be anything worthwhile.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: I understand that.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: That does happen sometimes.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: But I think the real difference between people who are successful and the people who are not successful is successful people, it's not that they don't have bad times or get depressed or discouraged.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: The question is, what do they do when those times happen?
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's okay to admit that you're going through a hard time.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay to admit that, hey, maybe this Christmas season hasn't been so great.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if it has been great, that's phenomenal.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: That's wonderful.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm super glad.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: But the reality is that a lot of people pretend to enjoy Christmas, but inside they just kind of want it to be done because they don't feel like they have the inner joy and success and peace that matches what they should be projecting on the outside.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm kind of rambling here, totally going off script, which which is totally okay, by the way.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: But if that's you, I I just want to ask you, what are you going to do?
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: If you're going through a hard time, are you just going to sit and wallow?
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: Or do you have interest in actually fixing what the issue is?
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes the solution is not a pretty one.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the solution means making a change in your life.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: Well, in fact, the when you're down and discouraged, the solution is always, the solution always consists of some kind of change.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: I really believe that with all my heart.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's like that old saying of, you know, insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over again, but expecting different results.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't like the results you're getting, what are you going to do to change those results?
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: What input are you going to change so that the output can be different?
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes that means um getting around some people who value you and celebrate you and appreciate you.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: My good friend Vincent Puglisi, he says, go where you're celebrated.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: And man, that is great advice.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm so thankful that I have different groups of people in my life where I can go.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: And these are people who support me and they they care about me, they help me.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, one of those groups is the Daily Writer Club.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: Even though I lead the group, my goodness, those people inspire me and they're so supportive and they're just wonderful, wonderful people.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: Another group is the Empire Builders Mastermind, which I'm a part of.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: My good friend Honore Quarter leads that group, but that's been transformational for me.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm also a part of just various other groups.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: One of those groups is the Total Life Freedom Mastermind that Vincent Puglisi leads.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's a very different kind of mastermind than than other groups I'm a part of, but it's great.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I appreciate those people.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: They've been very helpful.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm a part of two or three other things.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, another group that I'm a part of is uh we call it the Men's Mojo Mastermind, which is a group that meets every couple weeks.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: We meet at a local coffee shop, and it really has nothing to do with business or writing or any one specific thing.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's a group of guys.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: We get together and we just talk about life and we support each other and we help each other in different ways.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: And all of those groups, and of course, I save the most important group for last, which is my own family.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, my wife and my son.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: My goodness, Melanie is uh my wife Melanie is so supportive of this crazy thing that I do, being a ghostwriter and an author and a writer coach.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, wow.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: You really can't overstate the importance of having a spouse or a partner who believes in you, who cares about you, and who supports you.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: And um, if you're in a situation where you have a partner or a spouse that doesn't support what you do, then first of all, my heart goes out to you.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: My heart breaks for you.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: It really does.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: One of the things that I have found, and I don't want to go off on a whole tangent, this podcast episode is already getting way too long for my normal shorter episodes.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: One of the things that I have really seen a lot more over the last couple of years, as I have been full-time in my business, is there are a lot of women in particular who have amazing gifts, who are just so incredibly gifted and talented and so wise and so creative and so thoughtful.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, there are a lot of women who just aren't getting the shot that they deserve.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: There are a lot of women who are in situations that they don't feel like they can express themselves or use their gifts or use their talents.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I come from the church world and nothing against the church world.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I guess this is a little bit against the church world.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm, you know, I can't really say, well, nothing against the church world.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: And then I say a criticism that doesn't really fly.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: But um, you know, I again I just I just believe in being truthful and honest.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of women in the evangelical Christian community don't feel like they're getting the shot of leadership and of creating and of of leading and being able to express themselves and use their gifts that God has given them, by the way.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: They don't feel they have the opportunities to use those gifts in ways that they would really like to, just because of the structures and the, I would say, a lot of the archaic ideals in the evangelical Christian church world.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: You know, if you're a pastor or if you're if you're really deeply into that world, sorry, but it's true.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: You know it's true.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's very, very true.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: So I would say if you're a woman in particular who's listening to this and things are not really going your way, and you maybe feel a little discouraged, or maybe a lot discouraged, then you need to get around people who celebrate you and people who value what you bring to the mix.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: Because um, man, I'm just I've talked to so many women in particular over the last year or two who just have amazing creativity and have so much to share with the world.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're a female listening to this, I just I want to affirm that you have number one, that you're amazing because you have to put up with all the crap that society throws at you as a female, with all the unrealistic expectations and all the garbage that you have to deal with as a woman.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, but number two, I just want to affirm you in your gifts that you are amazing.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: You have something really, really valuable to share with the world.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: You really do.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: And if nobody else is telling you that in your life, I am telling you that right now.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I know for a fact you have really, really cool gifts.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: You have amazing talents, you have a lot of untapped things that the world has yet to see.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're a man who's listening, I want to encourage you to support the women in your life.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and it's not that I'm like some big feminist or anything like that.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I just believe in being truthful.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: I believe in equality.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: I believe men and women ought to have equal shots at success and equal opportunities.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, is that so crazy today?
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: It almost seems like in the modern world that we've gone a little bit backwards in in the last few years in our culture, particularly in America, uh, regarding some of those things.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: But my goodness, is is equality such a bad thing?
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think it's a bad thing at all.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's a basic human right.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're a woman, I want to encourage you today.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're a man, uh, we got to support the females in our lives because, you know, my wife and I, we've had a lot of conversations.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: We've been married 26 years.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: She's an absolutely amazing person.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: And we've had a lot of conversations over the years about really it's helping me understand what she deals with as a woman.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, she's worked in retail in some different ways.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: She she's had different positions over the years, and it's been really an eye-opening thing for me to see the things that she deals with as a female that as a man I simply don't have to deal with, just because I'm a man and she's a woman.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're a man listening, um, we've we've got to do a good job supporting the women in our life and helping them to feel safe and to to operate in an environment, in an atmosphere where they can use their gifts and whenever they can, feel free to express who they are and where they can bring out their best, the best parts of themselves.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: Just like any man would expect the same thing.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, you know, I didn't intend on going off in this kind of a rant, but it just kind of came up, I guess.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: This is just how I feel.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: This is just simply how I feel about things.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: And particularly in regards to writing, if you're a woman, I want to just encourage you to write, to get your stuff out there.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: You have really good things to say, just like men do.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: But a lot of times women don't feel the freedom to do that for probably a lot of different reasons that are beyond my understanding and comprehension and ability to articulate here on the podcast.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's not what this podcast is about.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: But you know what kind of is in in a lot of ways.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm here to help people become better writers and to release their potential as writers and as authors and as artists and creatives.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: And um, by the way, if you listened so far in this episode, thank you.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: This has uh kind of been an unusual unusual episode in a lot of ways.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: I did not intend on saying all this stuff.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: I really didn't.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: But I hope this is helpful to you.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: You know, especially this is coming out on Christmas Eve.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: What a weird episode to come out on Christmas Eve.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, maybe it's the best episode to come out on Christmas Eve.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because Christmas Eve is supposed to be a magical time.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's the night when, you know, in our sort of Christmas mythology, it's the night when Santa Claus comes and he brings gifts.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's a pretty good metaphor for what we do as riders.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: We we come and we bring our gifts to the world.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: We bring something special to the world.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are surrounded by people who do not celebrate and support your gifts, then I want to encourage you to try and get in some groups where people do celebrate your gifts.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: The Daily Rider Club being one of those places, but it's not the only place.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's not by a long shot.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: There's lots of places.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: So anyway, I have no idea how to wrap up this episode other than saying thanks for listening.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: This has been kind of a long, rambling diatribe.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: But I guess that's okay.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: The main point being here that if you're feeling a little down, a little discouraged, keep your chin up, keep pressing on.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: Figure out what you need to fix in your life and take some action and do something about it.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: Don't just sit in your sadness.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: Figure out what needs to change and what needs to happen.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: And then just simply take action.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, since this is coming out of Christmas Eve, I'd say first of all, have a cookie.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: You know, unless you're diabetic, maybe don't have a cookie, or maybe just have a little piece of a maybe have a cookie that's good for diabetics and not have uh not OD on the sugar.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: That would be bad.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: But take care of yourself.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: Get some rest and relaxation this week.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you might just need a really, really good night's sleep.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: I think half the time that's a big part of our problem is we just aren't getting enough good sleep.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: So get a really good night's sleep, take care of yourself, get some rest, watch a funny movie, laugh, and take care of yourself, my friend.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: I really do care about you as a person.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: Even though I may not know your name, I do care about you and I want the best for you.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: And if there's any way that I can help you, let me know.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: You can shoot me an email, Kent at DailyWriterLife.com.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: I would love to hear from you.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: And if you have a situation that I can't help you with, then I will find somebody who can help you.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: I make that promise to you publicly here on this podcast.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I will find somebody who can help you if you're struggling.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: So, anyway, thanks for listening to this episode.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: God bless.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: Hope you have a wonderful Christmas Day tomorrow, and I will see you in the next episode.