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YOU WERE NEVER MEANT TO TRANSCEND YOUR BODY · Erotic Spirit Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: With sex as a spiritual practice, you have to be dead honest.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_02: And that's something about sexual energy that I have come to learn.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_02: It is dead honest energy.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_02: It does not lie, it does not promote lying.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_02: To be sexually present and to especially as a spiritual practice, you've got to be dead honest.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_02: Please understand we are not therapists, we are simply sharing from our own journey and experience.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the Erotic Spirit Podcast.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_02: My name is Angela Shelby.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm Jenna Lee.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_02: And today we are talking about why spiritual people struggle with sex.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: And if you stick around, we'll talk more about sex as a spiritual practice.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_02: I love sex as a spiritual practice.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's just the it rolls off the tongue.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_02: And it does.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_02: Literally.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_02: I think if more people had sex as a spiritual practice, we wouldn't have war because everybody would be too happy.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we'd be making love.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Definitely.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: And so I for me, it's about like how to the awareness of this.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: You know, when we're looking at the the content and where to go with this, I mean, there's a reason we came up with it.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: I know for me, I've seen, I've been to many spiritual expos, consciousness expos, some of the largest ones in the country.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I noticed that I was leading the way into talking about sex at these consciousness expos.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I was new to some of these spaces.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I hadn't seen there may have been stuff on relationships, and I don't know the full context of all of it, but I didn't see sexuality or sex or sexual healing in any of those.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: And that's one of what I had included in mind.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: So to be able to look what's out there and to see leaders, there's opportunity for us to lead the way, to talk about these topics.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: And when we see that they're not as much talked about, even at some of the largest spaces that people can go to for consciousness, for spirituality, for awareness to self, which is what consciousness is, then we know there's opportunity.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because I know I'm not the only one.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_02: And you're talking about like the conscious life expo and body, mind, spirit, these are all like metaphysical expos, spiritual expos, um consciousness, consciousness, enlightenment, expanding consciousness, those those types of things.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Looking at different ways of living.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, a new life expo, all these, you know, beautiful spaces.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why I'm glad that I get to be part of the piece.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: But when we see that from, I don't want to say top down because there's no top-down, it's all equal, but when people are going to spaces and seeking information, and we don't have uh spaces being held or containers being held for sexual healing, right?
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: There, that's only opportunity.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: There's only the invitation to invite more of that in because I know I'm not the only one who holds space, and I know I'm not the only one in the these are just expos that I've been to.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_02: This is a topic that's near and dear dear to me because I'm a very spiritual person.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_02: And I was taught sex and spirituality do not go together.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_02: And I think it's, at least from my perspective, most of the religious traditions that I have experienced, it's the body is not a good thing.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_02: That to be spiritual is to transcend the body, and to count suffering as holy, and to suffer and ignore it is to be holy, and to ignore earthly pleasures is holy, and my experience has been it is the opposite of that.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_02: And my own inner knowing and my own relationship with Jesus has brought me to this and doing this work.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_02: And when I've prayed about it and asked, the message that comes through is I am here as a spirit to have this earthly human experience to experience, to touch, to feel, to have a body, and that this is my instrument.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_02: And this life is my creation, my symphony.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_02: How am I supposed to create music without my instrument?
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_02: How am I supposed to create music with a broken or non-functioning instrument?
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_02: How do you, as a musician, ignore your flute but yet write music?
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_02: Like it that doesn't make sense to me.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_02: And when it was presented that way to me, I went, oh, I get it now.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_02: Like this is my tuning fork.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_02: This is my beautiful vehicle to create in this life.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_02: So how do I honor it?
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_02: And how do I take all this stuff that I was taught to transcend this earthly experience?
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_02: And why was that taught?
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_02: It made me think that.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_02: And it, there are so many people in this world that are having this really horrible experience.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_02: They suffer in their body, they, you know, they don't have a good life.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I am a middle class white woman with a good career.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_02: And, you know, I have a good living, so I can sit here and and talk about yes, you know, experience, create with your beautiful body.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, but I think a lot of the spiritualism to transcend the body was to escape suffering.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_02: And so it's coin, it's trying to reconcile that.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_02: How do we live in this body and celebrate what we have, even when we are having a hard experience or a suffering experience or processing trauma?
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_02: Because you and I have talked about this many times, a lot of spiritual bypassing happens.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_02: Where uh I don't have to deal with my trauma because I'm spiritual now.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I'm just I'm just gonna ignore it and focus on my spirituality.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_02: And the problem is spirituality, your true heart spirituality brings this stuff up to be seen, heard, and felt.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_02: You can't continue to ignore it.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_02: The more you try to bypass it, it comes out in odd ways.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I love that.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's such a truth to, I know I've seen it myself, and I've seen it in many clients where I had this avenue where I was going figuring out what my spirituality meant to me.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: And there's a space of I'm gonna learn, learn, learn.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: And there was a form of escapism through that instead of actually sitting with some of the stuff that I had an opportunity to sit with.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so eventually that, you know, I shifted gears with that, but I love the the space where you had mentioned, like I came here to experience this human experience.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the things that I have learned, not everyone in the spiritual community, but I've I've heard, I've heard people say all the time, there's the split with the earth, and there is, you know, ascension, and we're gonna like we're gonna be over here in 5D.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I believe, and what has been moved through my channel, is bringing heaven to earth.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: And the the ascension and the transcendence of ego or like transcendence of self, from what I've heard, people have shared it, it feels like a way to escape the truth of whatever's happened, uh, whatever I've gone through.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: And so I have come here to play and have fun, but also to move and learn how to move through those emotional experiences, to figure out what sad means, to figure out what grief means, to actually be present with it so that I can honor and respect my experience, but I don't have to choose to stay in that.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't have to transcend to live in joy.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't, and I don't have to, you know, say bye to my ego.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: I can be friends with her.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, hey girl, how you doing?
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's like you doing good, because I don't know, that shit was crazy right there.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know, but it's it's just there are little things that look like um just it looks like different forms of what I've even learned from religion.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know religion too well, but I've seen like uh, you know, I need to be saved type, right?
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: In religion.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: But I've seen that in in spiritual communities where it's like, oh, we're gonna be, they don't say saved by going to 5D, but like, oh, we're going to these spaces and it can all be better.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_02: I remember uh driving with a beautiful group of friends to Sedona, and we were going up to visit this really cool spring and get water from it and just spend the day in Sedona.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_02: It's fun, yeah.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_02: A very awesome energy, beautiful place.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_02: And they were talking about this, they were talking about the state of the world, and I can't wait for 5D for fifth-dimensional reality, and we don't have to deal with all these emotions, and we don't have to deal with all this drama, and you know, none of this food and having to eat.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_02: And I just went, whoa, whoa, hold the phone.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_02: If 5D means no eating, I don't want to go.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_02: No, I don't want to be there.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_02: This is, I like to cook.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_02: That is part of my passion, that's part of my life.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_02: And like you, when I have meditated on fifth-dimensional reality and what that looks like, it's like you can live it right now.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_02: It's not an external state, it's an internal state.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_02: It's moving inside and bringing that 5D to earth until it comes, flows to the outside.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I was gonna say I see it as an operating system.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like my operating system, meaning my brain is seeing, perceiving things differently.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like doop upgrade.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: And it's hey, that thing that I was choosing to stay in that is uh not in my highest interest or not in my most joy, I'm gonna leave you over there because it's not serving me.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I get it.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and that's the operating system, that's the perception.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Mm-hmm.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_02: So I think the religious traditions, I think things got lost in translation.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_02: And again, this is my personal interpretation and my own experience and what my guides tell me and the information I get from my path.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_02: We all have different paths, we all have different goals, our souls all have different things that we want to get out of this life.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_02: This particular life is about understanding for me materialism and being in this body and celebrating it and knowing what that means and being okay with it.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_02: Because I've had a lot of lives where I was the nun on the hill or the mystic in, you know, on the mountain, or ignoring the material world.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_02: And I have found you can't ignore the material world.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_02: You can try, but it's not so much about ignoring it, it's about celebrating it until it doesn't hold our attention anymore.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_02: It's not about, oh, I have to ignore sex because that's not holy.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_02: It's go out and enjoy sex, revel in it, roll in it, be safe.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_02: What's your intention with it?
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_02: And there will come a point where it's like, that's enough.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_02: I want to shift my focus here instead.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_02: It's not uh ignoring it or shoving it away because it's not holy.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_02: It's uh it's a progression.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_02: It's uh, I'm done with this now.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_02: I want to go pick this up instead, or I will never put this down.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_02: I'm totally enthralled with this and I'm gonna keep going with it.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_02: But there's also that piece of it where that's all the fun stuff, but then there's the suffering part of it and dealing with suffering and that whole I'm going to transcend my suffering, I'm going to ignore it, I'm going to let it go.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_02: And you have talked about it, and I have talked about it, and I'm learning that it's not about ignoring it, it's not about just letting it go, it's about allowing it to move through.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_02: Just allowing things to move through is how transcension is looking for me.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_02: And not stuffing it, not bypassing it, not pretending it's not there.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_02: It's not holding on to it.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_02: Those are the words.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_02: Not holding on to it, allowing it to move through.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: I and I love the the sharing of this, not attaching to the material world.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, it's like if I'm in a space of I've never done that before, you know, and how does that look, right?
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: And and you shared so much.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: It is.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: It is the being with it, being understanding why am I uncomfortable or am I comfortable, or what's coming in, or is this intense?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like all of the stuff within the body to allow ourselves to be aware of it, to feel it.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: And then before we know it, we're just, oh, that's over there.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: That's not grabbing my attention anymore.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: So if I'm like really obsessed or really have hold a lot of awareness or attention to one thing, whether that's sex or money or whatever that is, right?
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: That is our power's out there.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: And so, but ultimately when we shove and suppress, it's our power is still out there.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: We just don't, we're just don't know that's driving us behind the scenes somewhere.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's driving something somewhere.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe I'm using my sexuality as a space where if I'm suppressing it like I did, I would see, seek some sort of external validation saying that's my value.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: So it's that physical space.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: And when we start to actually just be really with that uncomfortable shit, that then it's like, oh, you know what?
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: I really enjoy sex.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm good.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm, you know, and that's my choice and my intention.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm gonna flow and operate and be in that space, but I don't need to go out and go do that.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need any of that.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: That's the the shift in the healing and the wholeness that we get to evolve into or or become remember, really.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_02: Acceptance, like you said, acceptance doesn't mean acting on something.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_02: Acceptance simply means that I am willing to accept this as part of myself and love myself anyway, regardless of what it is.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_02: I just I can accept that about myself and I'm worthy anyway.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: The juices, the juices, yes.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_02: Stuff comes through.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: And we we talked to you about like sex as a spiritual practice.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: And they're solo and partner.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: There's not like a you have to have uh or however you choose, right?
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: If you're here for a reason, you're probably in a space of like, oh, that that's me.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like I somehow I'm mixing, I have some sort of religious background, or or I hear uh spiritual community out there kind of separating all of it.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't, and you're like, I don't resonate, right?
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what how do I do?
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: How do I move forward?
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: How do I actually embody truth of all that I am?
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I want to experience.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: And so we were talking about sex as a spiritual practice, yes.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, and just right, you don't need a partner, and you may have one.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: And being able to move and weave between both of them.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: So if you were to have, like, say, partner, if you were to look at ideas or suggestions or things, is there anything that comes to mind?
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast is sponsored by My Awakening Within.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: If you are looking for some sort of practice to drop into your pleasure, to reconnect to your body, to start to build and cultivate safety from within, join me on this online self-guided journey where you will start to learn breathwork techniques, emotional release practices, and start to build this foundation of safety and security from a place of presence.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: So join me online, myawakeningwithin.com or linked in the show notes.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_02: I was just thinking the first thing that I knew to do to have sex be a spiritual practice was have that intention.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_02: Just have the intention that sex for me is going to be a spiritual practice.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_02: What does that look like for me?
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_02: Intention is everything.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_02: Uh the first thing that has helped me incorporate sex as a spiritual practice is loving touch on myself.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_02: And if you're not familiar with an exercise like that, it is taking a few minutes on a regular basis, maybe every day, maybe you know, every few days, but just regularly taking that time every day to touch myself and think loving thoughts.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_02: And under just feel what feels good to me and what doesn't feel good to me, and think loving thoughts about my body while I'm doing it.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_02: That right there, sex as a spiritual practice.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_00: And you mentioned before, and I fully resonate with this, the body is an instrument.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: So how does the body work?
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_02: And more importantly, how does my body work?
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_02: Because my body's not gonna work exactly like Jenna's bodies works.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_02: Jenna's body works, and vice versa.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, exactly.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so I get to play with this instrument and learn.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe, you know, I mean, I'll just say my body is very different than what it was 10 years ago.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, it changes.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like, thank you.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: I celebrate the fuck out of that, you know, but it's different.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so maybe there's like different moves or different spaces that feel different on my body.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, and I recognize the slowness and the juiciness of like the slowness that is gonna be really present with all the senses.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I love talking about that.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: I love talking a bit about being mindful with the senses and being able to feel that energy move through my body and understand that my instrument is the body.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: But then, you know, I love how you share the connection with the loving thoughts.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: That's energy.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's literally like we're running energy through our body, and we can change our like everything, we can change our body by that space, by that love, by what we think.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: There are there are exercises or there are things.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: There's studies I even do with like where you speak loving versus negative thoughts into water.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: Is uh oh, I can't remember either.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: But that's a thing.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_00: And then I and I know I've done it before in my own ceremonies and cacao ceremony, where we I have, you know, I make the cacao, I have my own celebration with it, but I make it where it's like a little bitter, and it is bitter, but I know I run through where I guide people through love in that space, and their cacao changes taste afterwards.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: It actually most of the time it tastes sweeter, but I've had it switch to where it's gone more earthier, and that is we're literally changing the the form in that space.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: So you you're moving that.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Energy through that love through your body through the instrument.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: And then that instrument gets to go out.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, exactly.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um, something else that just popped in is uh spiritual practice requires honesty, and that's something that what do I want to say?
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_02: Religions often promote, but is often not celebrated.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_02: So it's like be honest and don't lie unless it's this.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_02: Be honest unless it goes against what we're talking about.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_02: So with sex as a spiritual practice, you have to be dead honest.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_02: And that's something about sexual energy that I have come to learn.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_02: It is dead honest energy.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_02: It does not lie, it does not promote lying.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_02: You have to be to be sexually present and to especially as a spiritual practice, you've got to be dead honest.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_02: So, what does that look like by myself?
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_02: I have to be honest about what feels good.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_02: I have to be honest about how I feel about my body.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it could be, you know, I really hate my love handles.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_02: And so I have to admit that.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_02: Do I think that's spiritual?
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_02: Now, for me, spirit is not hatred.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_02: So, what can I do to change my this energy, this how I'm thinking of myself to something loving?
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_02: Because if I'm making this sexuality stuff a spiritual practice, I gotta be honest.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_02: And then I have to decide to do with what I find with my honesty.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: What do I do with it?
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: And do I really like how do I approach when I'm with someone else too?
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_00: Because there is like a honesty with self, and then there's also I've seen, including myself, so I speak from experience, of people pleasing.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: So there's an interesting thing.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: Raise the hands, everyone.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone fucking raise your hands.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so when it comes to even sexuality, and it's like I I've noticed too where partners may be like, do you like this?
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: And in the moment, it's like it can be challenging to be like, no.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: So there, so there are ways, there are ways to approach where I usually don't like to ask a partner, do you like this or that in the specific moment, if I recognize like it's maybe even newer, um, but that's where a lot of the conversation happens outside of the bedroom.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: Cause then it is like a do you, what do you like?
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: What do you like, right?
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: All of that.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so in in the moment when you're trying to be sensual and move that, and you're like, Do you do you like that flap on the ear?
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, no.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like you may be like, okay, how you know, how does this feel?
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: And you may ask a partner that or or invite in that kind of language, and you may say, okay, slower, right?
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, especially if you're kind of like, if it's anything with like oral sex or anything there, like slower swirl.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like, how does this feel?
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: You can say like slower, faster.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um I don't know.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know as a valid response.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: Let's try it a little bit longer and see what happens.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: Keep going.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still trying to feel, I'm trying to figure it out.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, so so recognizing if you are a, I don't want to say like maybe the best way is like recovering people pleaser, and you're trying to integrate this part where you are honest as much as you can, and you can approach the conversations in different ways and still be honest, you know, but you don't have to feel bad if something doesn't feel good.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_02: And I think there's a lot of fear around communication.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_02: I know there has been with me.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_02: I tend to be less than tactful sometimes.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_02: I can be really tactful in real life, but then in those kind of situations, it can be like just no.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_02: Or please do this instead, which is is nice, but I have had moments where I worry about ruining the moment with a no, or ah, I would rather we did this, or and I thought it would be unkind.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_02: And I've come to learn that kindness is being dead honest.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_02: And being more tactful and smoothing out the rough edges comes with time.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, it does.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_02: But kindness is honesty, yeah.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_02: So just be honest.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, just be honest.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: No more faking, no more faking, no faking orgasms.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: I I did it.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_00: I've been there.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah, it's just it's just be honest.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_00: And that is absolutely a spiritual practice.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_00: Sex is a spiritual practice.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: Honesty.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: Drop into that space.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, we've talked about communication.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: So we mentioned that, like as a spiritual practice, like communicating needs, wants, understanding the flow, right?
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like there are some ideas that came in, but being able to communicate all of that, express that out as well.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like for me, sound is so important and sexy.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I love, I love to hear moans.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: I love to hear my own moans.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_00: I I hear my moan and it's such, it's like just turning, it's like turning something on the vibration.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_00: For me, I'm very aware of energy.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: And so the vibration of that moving through, or a partner, and I'm like, I'm like, hear that sound moving through my body, that expression.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: So me being able to be fully in myself, and then even if you're solo and on your own, that allowing that energy to move through, like that sound is so natural.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes we've been in spaces where our voice has been stifled.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_00: It has been like, it's not safe to have your voice here.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I actually had an intentional practice on focusing on voice and vocalizing because it was it was not safe.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_00: So there were many circumstances around sexuality where it wasn't safe.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: So, like just ah, like let it go, let it go.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: When I'm in spaces now and I'm like, I'm feeling good, it's like, ah, it's just letting it go.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_00: And that's I feel this natural, like movement of that sexual energy just reverberates through my body.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_00: So that's that was a huge uh solo practice.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_00: And then I then I'll tell a partner when I'm with them, like, I like to hear your voice.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_00: Let me hear you.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_02: And that's the other thing.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_02: We all sound different, we all move different.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_02: Bodies aren't perfect, they change through time, they get broken, they have stuff.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_02: And it's important to just honor the instrument that we have.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_02: I have a my theory is is my body is the way it is because it's telling me something.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_02: It's showing me something.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_02: So pay attention.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_02: I pay attention to my body.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_02: If I'm hurting somewhere, I'm like, ah, what are you telling me?
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_02: What's going on?
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of emotions come through in the body and aches and pains.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_02: And a great practice is when something is hurting, put your hands on it and just sit, take three deep breaths, and ask, what's going on with you?
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_02: What are you trying to tell me?
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_02: And then just sit there and and just rest your mind for a while and see if anything comes through.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_02: It can be an emotion, it could be all of a sudden event from the day pops through your head, or an event from 50 years ago pops through your head.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, it's just surprising the things I've had come through.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_02: So it's a great way to, again, use your body as an instrument.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_02: And even though we have talked these exercises about touching, uh, it touches connection, and that's part of a big part of sexuality.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_02: It's a spiritual practice.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_02: I consider those touching exercises a part of my sex as a spiritual practice.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_02: If you had one takeaway for people today, what would it be?
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_00: I I love celebrating the body, I love this instrument, this connection.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_00: I connect spirituality into oneness.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it's time to stop separating sexuality, sex, and spirituality.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_00: If we are truly in a space of higher consciousness and awareness to self and all that is, and in the field of that oneness and love, there is unconditional love for all of us.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so if we learned this in different areas, that's fine.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_00: Discern what feels good to you.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_00: And my belief is it's time to really step into the oneness of all of it, celebrate all of it and celebrate it in this fucking body.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_00: Wiggle a little bit.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, I like that.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_02: I like that a lot.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, how about you?
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, for me, I think the one takeaway would be sex as a spiritual practice and to honor what comes through.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_02: And I know spirit is, I know my spirituality and what comes through from spirit is don't harm myself, don't harm anyone else.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_02: Beyond that, go out and play.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_02: Go out and enjoy your experience.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you for tuning in today to Erotic Spirit Podcast.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_00: If you like what you heard, hit that subscribe button.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_00: Come follow us on all the social media platforms, and feel free to tune in and turn into our website www.eroticspiritpodcast.com.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks, and bye for now.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_02: So this awesome podcast is sponsored by Enlightened Energy Works.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_02: Would you like to meet your spirit guides or build a deeper connection with them?
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_02: If so, I have an online self-guided course with simple exercises and recommendations to help you build your connection with your spirit guides in your own way and at your own pace.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_02: If you're interested, please check it out at www.angelashelby.com or click the link in the show notes.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for hanging with us today.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_00: If you find value in this podcast, please like, subscribe, and share.