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Rich, who the hell is Ken? · Johnjay & Rich On Demand

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: What, Susan.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: I'm a therapist and I've worked with couples specifically, and
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: I had a comment to make about that lady who
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: called in and said that she likes massash her husbands
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: seat every night. And then that other lady called in
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: and was super judgmental about it and was like, oh,
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: I don't think that. She kind of alluded to it
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: not being like a healthy relationship, and as a therapist,
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: that is actually very healthy.
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: So every night when my husband gets home, I'm massage's feet,
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  Speaker 3: full routine, oil, scrubs, towels. I've probably spent like two
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: hundred dollars on foot products just for him. You know,
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  Speaker 3: I don't care if you just got home from the
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  Speaker 3: gym and he's sweaty whatever. I'm still down like it's
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: like one of my favorite parts of the day. And
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  Speaker 3: he'll just sit there and relax and I'm you know,
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: I'm like, tell me about your day and massage in
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: his feet.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Julie, what's up? You're on the air, what's up?
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: Why are you down there every single night like you're
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: a footspa. I want to do it. It relaxes him.
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: He works all day, and I like it.
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  Speaker 2: Girl, You're like running a nightly foot service subscription plan
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  Speaker 2: or something. I don't get it.
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  Speaker 3: No, No, I've created a routine that we both enjoy
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  Speaker 3: and it's it's nice. I'm doing something nice and sweet
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  Speaker 3: for my husband, and you're making it sound like it's embarrassing.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: So a couple points to make is that you guys
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: know John Gotman. He's like a very renowned like couple therapists,
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  Speaker 2: done thousands of So yes I do.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: I've been many.
• 1:30
  Speaker 4: I've been a couple therapy where the Gotlin theory comes
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  Speaker 4: up a lot, a lot.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: He's like, he's like the guy, yeah, go ahead.
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: So based on his theory, right, he studied all these
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: thousands of couples, What that couple is doing is called rituals, right,
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: an active rituals. I don't know the exact term, I
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: can't remember, but essentially it's finding rituals in your day
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: to connect with one another, spend quality time with one another.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: You basically reduce your risk of unhealthy relationship patterns and
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: divorced by like a ton like exponentially. So another thing
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  Speaker 2: is that she doesn't feel forced and that this is
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  Speaker 2: her choice to do this, and so it'd be different
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: if the husband was like demanding it right then that
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: would become unhealthy. But because she's doing it on her
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: own volition and she's saying, hey, this is the way
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: that I show appreciation and love, which is another key
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: important thing about healthy couples. It's finding ways to show
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: appreciation and love to your partner. So that lady that
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: calls in was like being very judgmental. I would encourage
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: her to look at how healthy couples operate, and that
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: that woman calling in is extremely healthy, and I'm sure
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: they have a very loving and healthy marriage.
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: Isn't there something else that like Gottman's got some famous stuff.
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: Is he the one has the six second kiss or
• 2:55
  Speaker 4: the hug?
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: I can't remember me. I'm not sure, but I use
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: Gottman in my work with couples. I also use a
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: lot of other series as well. But I love Gotman
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: for like teaching skills, because they're very skills space and
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: a lot of couples they might love each other a lot,
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: but they lack a lot of skills to facilitate that
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: loving relationship. And so it's about building admiration and connection
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  Speaker 2: with your loved one, and like a love story that's
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: just unique to the both of you.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: It's worth it googling him.
• 3:29
  Speaker 4: My wife and I've been through several sessions of marriage
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: counseling and he comes up a lot.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: He's really good.
• 3:35
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it was interesting. I want to ask you this, Susan.
• 3:37
  Speaker 5: I was well.
• 3:38
  Speaker 6: I was at breakfast with one of my buddies over
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  Speaker 6: the weekend. His name is Ken, and he was smiling
• 3:44
  Speaker 6: when I was kind of talking about, you know, my
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  Speaker 6: wife's stacy, and he's like, do you know what they say?
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  Speaker 6: The number one thing that I hear you talk about
• 3:51
  Speaker 6: is for couples to stay together.
• 3:53
  Speaker 5: He said.
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  Speaker 6: It's not just you know, compromise and all that. It's
• 3:56
  Speaker 6: like you think your spouse is awesome. You say that's
• 3:59
  Speaker 6: the number one thing that keeps people together. And that
• 4:01
  Speaker 6: was really cool to hear.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: I like the thing too where it's like you have
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: to love your person in their love language, like Ken.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: Never heard you talk about Ken?
• 4:09
  Speaker 5: You know Ken, Ken Cummings. No, not that Ken does.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: I would get ad nice in that guy.
• 4:14
  Speaker 5: No.
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  Speaker 1: I mean I love Ken Cummings, but I don't think
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: he's the relationship girls.
• 4:17
  Speaker 5: Karen's husband Ken, Oh love with him with Breakfast? Yeah?
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I feel I've heard all your friends,
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  Speaker 1: but not Ken.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: Rich has so many friends, he probably has eight Ken's
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: in his life.
• 4:34
  Speaker 5: I got a few, actually got you.
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  Speaker 6: But anyway, Ken says, find your spouse to be awesome,
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  Speaker 6: and that is the number one factor of a happy marriage.
• 4:42
  Speaker 6: Not just a marriage'll last, but a happy marriage.
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: I was just talking to his wife yesterday. Yeah all right, Susan,
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: thank you so much. But go ahead, go ahead, No, no,
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: you had more.
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  Speaker 2: I was gonna say that Rich is totally right with
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: his friend Ken, whoever it is. That's not true admiration
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: for yourself. So not just not just oh I like
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: them because they do stuff for me, but just appreciating
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: them as the person. So I hear Peyton say this
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: all the time about Kadeem her husband now where she's like,
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: I just love him for him, or you know the
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: comments that she makes. And so all of you sound
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: like you have very healthy relationships with your spouses. So
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: that's a good indicator that you have healthy and happy marriages.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: What's fun fact about ten Ken? Has you spelled his
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: name with two ends? Isn't that weird? Like I can't
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: get over yourself.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: So one more thing, a topics I do want to say,
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: is I was the one that called in like maybe
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: a year and a half ago about how I cooped
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: on my own engagement with my ex husband.
• 5:44
  Speaker 4: Well, now you just ruined yourself as a therapist.
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah right, but I'm in a very healthy, happy marriage.
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  Speaker 2: Now we have cool children.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: Oh great.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: So I just I was like, I didn't want you
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: guys to think, like, isn't that the lady that called in?
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: And so she cooped on her own And now she's
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: says she's a couple's therapists. You know that's fraud, you know.
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: So I just wanted to let y'all know I am
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: happily married and in a very healthy relationship.
• 6:16
  Speaker 5: And so let's.
• 6:16
  Speaker 4: Say someone wants to hire you as a therapist, do
• 6:18
  Speaker 4: you want to give out a website or an Instagram account?
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: I'm out of idahost. I wouldn't be able to see
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: anybody locally in Arizona. I used to live in Arizona,
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: but I don't anymore. So I wouldn't be able to
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: see anybody in Arizona because of fighting sing logs.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: Okay, well, thank you Susan.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no problems. You guys have a great task