Latest / Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design / 101 | Struggling with Pricing in Your Online Business? 3 Tips to Set Your Rates with Leslie Tankersley Arboleda

Transcript

101 | Struggling with Pricing in Your Online Business? 3 Tips to Set Your Rates with Leslie Tankersley Arboleda · Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design

• 0:00
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: But when it comes to pricing, if we're not asking for what we need and we're not creating the space to receive that price point, whatever that price point is I think we're doing the world a disservice, quite frankly.
• 0:15
  Erin Gray: Do you want to create a system to stop avoiding your money?
• 0:17
  Erin Gray: Maybe you're feeling guilt and shame when it comes to finances.
• 0:20
  Erin Gray: Welcome to your Money, your Rules.
• 0:23
  Erin Gray: Comes to finances.
• 0:26
  Erin Gray: Welcome to your Money, your Rules.
• 0:27
  Erin Gray: I'm Erin, a former certified financial planner and CFO, and yet I used to avoid my money and had fear, no matter how much we had.
• 0:31
  Erin Gray: I can't wait to teach you how I overcame my money avoidance and started consistently managing my finances in a really simple way.
• 0:39
  Erin Gray: It's time to get comfortable with money.
• 0:41
  Erin Gray: So you want to take control of your finances and create a system that feels easy, more like freedom than restriction, and you're feeling overwhelmed, like it's going to take so much time, effort and energy.
• 0:52
  Erin Gray: My one-on-one master your money coaching program is going to teach you how to align your finances with your goals, simplify money management and overcome the fear and stress that has been holding you back.
• 1:05
  Erin Gray: You don't need to spend hours on complicated strategies.
• 1:08
  Erin Gray: I'll show you how to create a simple, customized plan that works for you, tailored to your unique needs.
• 1:15
  Erin Gray: We'll focus on practical strategies, and I'll also empower you to overcome the limiting beliefs and emotional blocks that you have around money, so that you can create a relationship with money that feels calm, where you're in control, and it feels peaceful.
• 1:30
  Erin Gray: Let's make financial clarity easy, fun and not time consuming, shall we?
• 1:36
  Erin Gray: Let's work together one-on-one so you can start building the life and business you deserve with clarity and confidence and create true financial freedom.
• 1:46
  Erin Gray: If you've been struggling with charging appropriately for your services, this episode is for you.
• 1:50
  Erin Gray: I invited Leslie Tankersley-Arboleda onto the podcast to share her expertise in personal alignment, leadership and overcoming the common struggles many female entrepreneurs face when pricing their services.
• 2:03
  Erin Gray: As a quantum human design specialist, leslie dives into powerful, actionable strategies that will help you confidently charge for your services.
• 2:12
  Erin Gray: My desire for you is to walk away feeling more empowered and ready to make positive changes in your business and create a more aligned relationship with your work.
• 2:21
  Erin Gray: Now let's dive in.
• 2:24
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: Thanks, Leslie, for being here.
• 2:25
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I'm excited to be here.
• 2:27
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: Thanks for creating the space, Erin.
• 2:29
  Erin Gray: So let's talk about just a little bit you want to share with the listeners what?
• 2:31
  Erin Gray: How do you help clients?
• 2:34
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: So my passion is really helping people, um, align themselves with what they're here to do, their life purpose, and my business is really about helping individuals and teams, uh, increase their profitability, reduce their burnout and align their actions with their passion and purpose.
• 2:49
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: So, whether you have a business or not, you can feel profitable and all human beings can certainly benefit from a little more sustainable sustainability and, at the end of the day, I you know, I think we were all here to be healthy, joyful and abundant, and so I'm I'm working really hard to contribute to the collective in that way, I love that.
• 3:09
  Erin Gray: So when Leslie completed her form, she talked about human design and obviously you guys know that I use human design loosely.
• 3:17
  Erin Gray: I don't think it's the end all be all.
• 3:18
  Erin Gray: I think it's a tool, and so I really want to talk.
• 3:21
  Erin Gray: What I told Leslie is I want to talk today about women and our relationship with money and how we don't charge enough or don't charge.
• 3:35
  Erin Gray: I don't want to say what we're worth, because I don't think what our worth has anything to do with what we charge, but just the overall relationship that we have had with money.
• 3:46
  Erin Gray: And I would love if you would just give some insights and your clients and what you've experienced.
• 3:51
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: Absolutely.
• 3:51
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: Um, you know, when we first talked, I was, I was really resonating with the conversation because I think, especially it's it's a really exciting time to be a woman in business in particular.
• 4:02
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: Um, you know, for decades or longer, business has really been a male-dominated masculine expression of generating income, and I think that you know there's been a shift in the collective.
• 4:17
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I think there's really been a swinging back of the pendulum where, you know, the masculine energy is about assertion, it's about going after, it's about pursuit, Whereas the feminine energy is really about reception and creating the space.
• 4:35
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: And I think sometimes receptivity gets a little bit of a bad rap in this action oriented, hustle culture world we're in, where, if you are constantly in pursuit of something the goal, the dollar bill, the, whatever the thing is you are never actually creating the space to receive it.
• 4:56
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: And I think, as women, we have this unique gift to, if we live in alignment with our energy, we have this unique gift to really mindfully cultivate the space, the exact shape and size and location to receive what we're here to receive.
• 5:14
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: And so being a woman in business, I think, is really exciting because we get to do, we get to express both of those energies in a way that hopefully does turn into a profitable and sustainable outcome.
• 5:26
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: But when it comes to pricing, if we're not asking for what we need and we're not creating the space to receive that price point whatever that price point is I think we're doing the world a disservice, quite frankly.
• 5:42
  Erin Gray: Yeah, I know that I probably err on the side of pushing going and I know that I have to be very cognizant of that, because I think there is, like you said, there is this blend right, we need to be able to receive and we also need to be able to take action.
• 6:01
  Erin Gray: Like sitting around just thinking wonderful, amazing thoughts and like I'm ready to receive isn't going to make things happen on the material plane.
• 6:09
  Erin Gray: And also, for those of you that are more so, the action takers, the go-getters, the you know, have a lot of masculine energy in my chart and it's really interesting to see how that plays out.
• 6:20
  Erin Gray: I think a lot of that also is conditioning from being around my dad and also, you know, like you said, women in business.
• 6:30
  Erin Gray: Um, over the last what 20 years, I mean, I've been in two male dominated industries, so that is kind of has been my example and falling back into that middle ground of, yes, going and doing and then also being ready to receive.
• 6:41
  Erin Gray: And I think, women I was just talking about this with someone yesterday, I think, on her podcast, and we were talking about receiving, and I don't think a lot of women have a very good receiving muscle because we are, so it's almost like we connect through I don't want to say struggle, but like I'm doing all of the things, I'm not asking for help, and so we don't really build up that receiving muscle of receiving from money, receiving help, receiving more love, receiving more joy, and I think it's something that we can all probably benefit from doing more of.
• 7:17
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I think it's a really interesting conundrum too.
• 7:19
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: As you know, the proverbial caregivers right, women are typically looked at as that way, and so there is a lot of doing in the taking care of others.
• 7:30
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: But receiving is also something to do, and I think when we shift our perspective on exactly what does receiving mean and what's the value in, again, that exchange, if someone's always giving but there's no one there to receive it, then the giver doesn't get to fully show up in their authentic value either.
• 7:53
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: And so how do we really dance the dance?
• 7:56
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: And who's designing the choreography for my dance?
• 8:00
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: Because if there's a male-dominated experience that I've been a part of and they're doing it successfully for them, does that actually mean that that's going to be a successful strategy for me?
• 8:12
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: And I know, at least for me personally, the answer is no.
• 8:15
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I'm here to you know, I think we're.
• 8:18
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I was taught and now teach that we're all a unique once in a lifetime cosmic event.
• 8:22
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: A unique once in a lifetime cosmic event, and that is a burdensome privilege in a lot of ways if you're trying to do what the other person did successfully, because that there might be some, you know, some valuable tidbits of success and strategy to take from others.
• 8:34
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: For sure, we don't necessarily have to reinvent the wheel, but we also need to know what size wheel and how many wheels and what's the vehicle look like and how far.
• 8:42
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: You know all of those details that are unique to our purpose and our expression of authenticity.
• 8:50
  Erin Gray: It looks.
• 8:50
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I love that Go ahead Sorry.
• 8:52
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: No, I was just saying it looks different for women, that's all, and it's not bad, but it can it can feel overwhelming when we're trying to do it the same.
• 9:01
  Erin Gray: Totally, and I think that it plays on that part of us, at least, that this has been for me.
• 9:07
  Erin Gray: I don't know if it's been like this for you, but it plays on that part of like you want to serve, you want to help, you want to generate money, and so when it looks like it or did work for someone in this specific way, like you're saying like we're all precious little snowflakes, like, or you know fingerprints, or just you know whatever it might be, like we are all so special and obviously in not special in the same thing, you know Um and so when we are trying to follow a exact playbook, I always encourage women to like check back in with their body and like does that actually feel good for you?
• 9:43
  Erin Gray: Does that feel true for you?
• 9:45
  Erin Gray: You know, like one of the things that I decided when I came back from taking time off is like I'm going to build my business my way, and that means through my podcast or my YouTube channel, and if that means that it takes me longer to do that, because that feels good and true and authentic to me, like I'm willing to do that and I think that a lot of us kind of latch on because of the.
• 10:08
  Erin Gray: Maybe it's from a financial place, right, we want to be in air quotes.
• 10:13
  Erin Gray: When I say successful, I just am talking only about money.
• 10:15
  Erin Gray: Right, there's lots of other things that you know make us successful or we feel successful, but when we want something, it's almost like an attachment to it, versus I want to create this.
• 10:29
  Erin Gray: And here we go back to receiving and flow and ease and letting it come the way it's supposed to, versus being fixed to a specific way it's supposed to look.
• 10:39
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: Yeah, I was actually just talking with two different clients last week about that energy of desire and how it's really a a polar opposite expression of faith.
• 10:51
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: And when we are in pursuit, right when we are desiring something, you know you can say all the positive affirmations you want, you can put all, slap all the pretty pictures on your vision board that you want, but every time you're wanting something, it inherently has this message of I don't have it yet.
• 11:09
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: And that message lands in the subconscious, even if the words and the thoughts and the pictures are all sitting in our conscious.
• 11:17
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: And I think it's it's really valuable to be vulnerably honest with yourself.
• 11:22
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: You know, have the courage for the personal inquiry and take note of what is it that you are feeling like you don't have yourself.
• 11:31
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: You would be better if you did, and it might be a bigger price point, it might be more clients, it might be a faster growth scale, whatever that is.
• 11:39
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: But I invite folks, when they're, you know, willing to be in that inquiry, to really practice the faith of and trust of knowing that everything you have is what you need and everything you need is what you have.
• 11:52
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: And if it doesn't feel that way, there's an opportunity to reorient yourself to the what is right now.
• 11:59
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: That doesn't mean don't have goals and stop pursuing and you know, don't grow that.
• 12:03
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: It doesn't mean don't have goals and stop pursuing and you know, don't grow that.
• 12:04
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: It doesn't mean that at all.
• 12:05
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: But while you're pursuing and having goals and growing, be good with exactly what is right now and truly trust that if you needed it, you would have it already and, when you do, will benefit from it.
• 12:18
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: It's coming, it really is.
• 12:21
  Erin Gray: Yeah, I love that you said that nuance part, because people could be listening and be like what I'm not supposed to desire.
• 12:26
  Erin Gray: It's like, yes, we are meant to always want more, but not from a place of lack, like more of what we already have, not more of I don't have this and I want this and this is going to bring the feeling and I think it's so important, like what you said of really determining where you know having, when you have, when you love what you have, you are able to be present and I think a lot of us I can see myself I do this sometimes still where I am.
• 12:55
  Erin Gray: It's almost like this, fantasizing in the future, and what it does is it takes us out of the present.
• 12:59
  Erin Gray: It takes us out of you know, my kid loves to look at.
• 13:03
  Erin Gray: We have like MS 365 where I keep all of the pictures and she loves to look at you know, cause it'll give every day.
• 13:11
  Erin Gray: It's like on this day and it goes through like the last 12, 13 years and there are times that I will look back on those pictures with her and I'm like I was not present Cause I was always thinking like, well, when she's out of diapers or when I'm this or what you know, and it's, we think, that the feeling is somewhere out there, wherever, versus being here, right when we are, exactly where we are, and in truly like enjoying the lessons that we're receiving, like you said, you know, here now here now, Love it all.
• 13:45
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I think.
• 13:45
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I think that's it's a, it's almost a protection strategy.
• 13:47
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I don't really like how I feel right now, so I'm going to imagine how I will feel better when, and to bring it back to that idea of of how do you price yourself and your business.
• 13:53
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: As a woman, I think a lot of us justify not collecting what.
• 13:59
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: What value is really there to be collected?
• 14:03
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: Because we have this story that's sitting in the shadows, that doesn't really feel all that great, and it's not that we don't know.
• 14:10
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: It's there, but we don't really want to look at it or we don't really want to own that.
• 14:16
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: It exists in order to be empowered to rewrite the story.
• 14:20
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: You know, I'm a.
• 14:20
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I'm a.
• 14:21
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I'm a big fan of the power of personal narrative and having the audacity to look at the stories you're telling yourself.
• 14:28
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: Not just listen to the words that you're telling other people, but look, listen to the stories that you're telling yourself before you ever put words to them, and notice how that makes you feel.
• 14:37
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: And if, if, that embodied expression doesn't feel great, tell a new story.
• 14:43
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: Right, Like you hold the pen to the story of the life you're living, why not write one that feels good?
• 14:52
  Erin Gray: Yeah, so much.
• 14:53
  Erin Gray: It's like the little toddler that just runs all crazy.
• 14:57
  Erin Gray: If we don't decide what we're going to tell it, you know like what story are we going to actually tell?
• 15:02
  Erin Gray: So what do you typically suggest when women have they butt up against, you know, either charging a specific dollar amount or, yeah, what are some of your kind of tips that you would suggest?
• 15:16
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: Well, I think it's.
• 15:18
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I bring in a unique combination of spirituality and really concrete business practices.
• 15:24
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: So I think the first conversation to have is how much does it really cost you to be a business?
• 15:28
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: Because I work with a lot of spiritual entrepreneurs and it seems like the pricing is sort of arbitrary in a lot of ways.
• 15:35
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: They haven't actually sat down and created the spreadsheet, looked at the numbers and run what the cost of business is.
• 15:40
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: So I think at the bare minimum your like run with the costs of businesses.
• 15:42
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: So I think at the bare minimum your price should cover your cost of business.
• 15:47
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: And then I think the next layer to really look at is value.
• 15:52
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: And that's a lot more subjective and again requires a little personal courage.
• 15:57
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: You know, my grandpa used to tell my mom, who told me you're not supposed to tell the world how great you are, you're supposed to let someone else tell you that.
• 16:05
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: And I think that's a big crock.
• 16:06
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I think that's a bunch of bunk Like I.
• 16:08
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I am not in agreement with that.
• 16:10
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I'm not going to tell you only how good I am, but I will be the first one to tell you how good I am, because if I don't know it, why in the world would I expect anyone else to believe it's true, especially if they've not yet worked with me?
• 16:25
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: Right, and pricing I think a lot of times our pricing is like oh well, people don't know, so they won't pay.
• 16:31
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: If you've got, you know, return clients, they already kind of understand the value, but they don't know how much value you're going to bring it in the next go around or the next container you create, or you know the next life lesson they're going to integrate, whatever that is.
• 16:43
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: So I think it's important to look at the cost of business, but then really have an honest conversation with yourself about the value that you bring.
• 16:52
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: As the unique practitioner, employee, leader, whatever your role is, whether you're an entrepreneur or not, you bring a unique value to the relationship and that can be translated into a price tag, you know.
• 17:08
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: And then I think it's also worthy not necessarily to compare yourself to other people, but use the barometer of what are other successful people in your line of work doing and, if they can do it successfully, what's keeping you from feeling like you could do something that is in alignment with you in a similar way?
• 17:25
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: Yeah, I don't know if that answers your question, but it does.
• 17:29
  Erin Gray: Yeah, and I think that I.
• 17:30
  Erin Gray: The first part is, I don't think a lot of us which comes back to feelings Don't think a lot of us actually know our numbers.
• 17:38
  Erin Gray: I don't know if we're taught like I mean, I have business background in finance, so I went to school, so that was there, but I don't think that.
• 17:47
  Erin Gray: I don't think that that is something that's taught how to to run a business.
• 17:55
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I agree with you.
• 17:55
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I think, again, you know, especially I, with with my community of spiritual entrepreneurs.
• 18:02
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: It's they feel like their purpose, is their spiritual expression, and I am of the opinion.
• 18:08
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: You know, I'm pretty transparent and I will lovingly and gently tell you the honest truth, pretty unfiltered, especially if you're paying me to tell you right.
• 18:17
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: So I will say to people like it's ridiculous for you to call this a business if it's not profitable and sustainable.
• 18:23
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: It's a passion that sometimes you get paid for otherwise and I do mean that with love, but also like be real Business is not personal, business is not actually emotional.
• 18:35
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: Business is the profit and the loss and the analysis of the income generated in the process, right.
• 18:43
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: So being able to at least have a basic understanding of what are you bringing in and what are you putting out, I think is absolutely fundamental to be in business.
• 18:55
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: And if you don't know it and you don't want to learn it, you need to have someone on your team, you need to have someone in your circle who can do it for you and at least report back to team.
• 19:03
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: You need to have someone in your circle who can do it for you and at least report back to you, because if you don't know, you don't know.
• 19:08
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: It's the basis of everything.
• 19:10
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: Possibly know better if you don't know to begin with.
• 19:15
  Erin Gray: I do.
• 19:15
  Erin Gray: I do think that women and I would love to hear your experience Do you find that women have a?
• 19:22
  Erin Gray: It's a little bit tougher for them to wrap their head around that.
• 19:26
  Erin Gray: When you said, business is just business, I think men do a better job at that versus women, like we take it.
• 19:36
  Erin Gray: We take it can be emotional, or we take it personally.
• 19:39
  Erin Gray: Versus like what you're saying, like it's just numbers, but and then also it's not just numbers.
• 19:47
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I think part of.
• 19:48
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I don't I do not disagree with you and I think part of that is because a lot of women who are in business are so emotionally invested.
• 19:55
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: Right, it's, it is a passion and an expression of purpose that precedes especially if they're women entrepreneurs it is a passion and a purpose expression that precedes the business plan or or the absence of the business plan, right, and so it feels so much more emotional.
• 20:14
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: But I think that's a totally separate part of being in business.
• 20:21
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: You can be emotionally invested in your business.
• 20:23
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I know a lot of people who have JLBs and they don't care they don't care at all really about the mission of the business, right, they care about the paycheck that comes at the end of the day, that that that, especially for women who are emotionally invested in the business, can be really hard to parse apart because, like you said, it does feel emotional and it does feel personal.
• 20:44
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: And if people don't want to pay me what I'm asking, somehow I tether that to my own self-worth, which I think again brings in that idea of the energetics and in quantum human design.
• 20:58
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: We talk about nine different aspects of resiliency, right, the resilient, we call them the resiliency keys, and I think a lot of times people think resiliency is like either having tenacity or having the ability to get back up after you've been knocked down.
• 21:14
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: But we look at it a little differently.
• 21:16
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: It's things like self-trust, empowerment, courage, decisiveness.
• 21:19
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: Trust, empowerment, courage, decisiveness, lovability is part of our resiliency, right Like self-worth, vitality.
• 21:32
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: How are you spending the precious resource of your vitality in your business?
• 21:33
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: Are you spending all of it to the point of burnout and then you have nothing left to invest in your home, your individual expression, all the other parts of you that have nothing to do with your business, right?
• 21:44
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: So being able to really kind of again parse apart those pieces of what does it mean to be a woman?
• 21:52
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: What does it mean to be in business?
• 21:54
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: What does it mean to be profitable?
• 21:55
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: What does it mean to be sustainable?
• 21:57
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: All of those are part of the experience that make it easy or challenging to know what to charge and to know how to ask for it too.
• 22:08
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I could put a price tag on my services, but if I don't know how to ask for the, for the, for the price, it really doesn't matter what I'm advertising as my charge.
• 22:18
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: You know and and again, generationally, we're not supposed to talk about money, right?
• 22:24
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: That's one of those three things we're never supposed to talk about.
• 22:26
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I call I call BS on that also.
• 22:28
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: Yes, huh, money is an expression of energy and we are energetic beings.
• 22:32
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: So if we can't talk about money, that's a whole part of who we are that we are denying and potentially not expressing authentically.
• 22:41
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: And I, you know, a part of why I'm so passionate about helping people align themselves energetically and leverage those strengths with whatever their goals are is because I selfishly want to live in a world where other people are doing that.
• 22:56
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I want to live in a world where people feel safe and secure and supported to be self-expressed in their uniqueness right, because, like you said, we're not all that special.
• 23:10
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: There's 8 million people on the planet and we're like every one of them, but we are unique expressions of humanity and that uniqueness is a gift that the world needs.
• 23:22
  Erin Gray: I want to go back to what you said, because I've always thought that this is and this is true for men and women that I've seen is the self-worth piece, like I feel like if, as children, if you were one of those that received love for your grades, we just have kind of transferred that to business is what I have seen.
• 23:43
  Erin Gray: It's like we've moved the grades from college or high school or whatever into business and we equate that with our self-worth, and it's completely separate, and the more that we can become detached from that, I think, the easier our decision-making can be, the I mean, I think a lot of things become more clear and we're not so attached is the word that comes to mind where, when things happen versus we're making our business mean something about us.
• 24:11
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: It's not conditional.
• 24:12
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: Our worth is not conditional.
• 24:14
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: It is not tethered to our grades, our money or or our bottom line for that matter.
• 24:18
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: We are each worthy just because we exist and I think that has definitely gotten muddled up, especially generationally.
• 24:27
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I think I see a little less of it in my generation and as we're parenting the ones that are coming up right, I I am.
• 24:36
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I was definitely raised by a straight, a student who was a middle child and grew up on a farm and celebrated, you know, got celebrated for picking the most bags of cotton in the Alabama sunshine.
• 24:46
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: So, like I get where it comes from.
• 24:48
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: But also when we know better, we do better, and I know my grandparents were doing the best they could with my mother and my mother was doing the best with me.
• 24:58
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I hope most days I'm doing the best I can with what for my children, but it's different and it really I'm.
• 25:04
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I am very, very committed to making sure that everyone that is in my circle, whether I've given birth to them or not, knows that I believe that they're worthy just because they exist.
• 25:19
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: And when you can start to believe that yourself, pricing and business kind of it becomes a little easier because, like you said, you're not tethering it to those other things that some really well intentioned people told you was true.
• 25:35
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: Right, that story is.
• 25:37
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: It's an old story, it's ready to be rewritten, it's not serving us anymore.
• 25:42
  Erin Gray: That was a hard one for me.
• 25:43
  Erin Gray: Like I really had to really work through that one because there was, I think, probably so much evidence and, um, yeah, I'm like my defined head and nausea, I have no idea.
• 25:56
  Erin Gray: Like there's probably a lot of things that come into play there.
• 25:58
  Erin Gray: Um, but the fact of like that was something of worthiness, like I just and and one of the exercises that I did that was really helpful for me is like when did it come?
• 26:09
  Erin Gray: I don't.
• 26:10
  Erin Gray: I don't think we always need to go back and like think about, because it kind of takes us down this loop, but there was a point of age because I started asking myself, like is a baby worthy of just existing?
• 26:21
  Erin Gray: You know, is a two-year-old, is a four-year-old, and somewhere between 12, 10 and 12 was the number for me that it wasn't okay to just exist.
• 26:29
  Erin Gray: Like you had to earn your keep, and that was probably some messages that I received there, and I think that that can be a helpful exercise of like when did you, when did you come out of I'm here, I exist, I'm lovable, just as I am versus you had to earn love or earn your worth or things of that sort.
• 26:47
  Erin Gray: And, like you said, we had well-meaning parents and they were doing the best that they could with what they had, and now that we know better, we get to choose.
• 26:55
  Erin Gray: You know differently and we can change and think.
• 26:58
  Erin Gray: However we've been thinking and believing Improving your worth is a losing battle.
• 27:04
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: Oh yes, and I am halfway halfway to 96, so I am not interested in pissing away my precious sorry, and wasting my precious resources when it comes to doing things that are that are not ultimately going to yield me some kind of success.
• 27:17
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: And, and you know, trying to prove your worth is is just not, uh, you know, a necessary inquiry to prove your value, I guess, and I know that a lot of us are in it, and myself included.
• 27:30
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: You know I was one of those kids who heard so often after parent-teacher conferences, you know, if Leslie would just live up to her potential, and for so much of my childhood I didn't really understand what that meant.
• 27:44
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: And obviously, again at halfway to 96, i've't really understand what that meant.
• 27:46
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: And obviously, again at halfway to 96, I've done a good bit of personal reflection and really where that came from was other adults seeing the quote potential and my abilities and then putting their own stuff of.
• 28:00
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: If I were in that position, this is how I would show up and I had to really come to terms with.
• 28:07
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I really enjoyed being a solid B plus student with plenty of free time to have lots of fun with my friends instead of killing myself to be an A plus student and having none of that, what I even then identified as quality of life, right and so and is my worth any less valuable because I was a B plus student, with A's occasionally, versus an A plus student with B's occasionally?
• 28:29
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: Hell, no, it is not.
• 28:30
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: It absolutely is not.
• 28:32
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: So, you know, if there's others that can value, take value from that that inquiry, I'm happy to take one for the team.
• 28:41
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: Such a pervasive part of who we are and such a key part of our resiliency when it comes to having having that ability to tenacity and, you know, getting back up after you get knocked down.
• 28:55
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: Those are part of it.
• 28:56
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: But if we don't see ourselves as worthy, it's harder to have that persistence, it's harder to get back up and do the thing again.
• 29:05
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: And so you know, being able to just shine the light in the corners right, see what's hiding in the cobwebs and, you know, really explore the shadows, I think is is valuable work.
• 29:16
  Erin Gray: I love that story because you can just take it to business.
• 29:18
  Erin Gray: Like there will always be somebody that's going to be making more money than you, that's going to be like the comparison game is never going to end, Right.
• 29:26
  Erin Gray: And so it's like, stop comparing.
• 29:28
  Erin Gray: What is it that lights you up?
• 29:30
  Erin Gray: And, like you said, like I just had this conversation with the same podcast person yesterday I was like, if I'm going to choose and not that we have to choose but if that comes down to more freedom or making more money, I'm probably going to have more time and freedom, because I think we can always make more money.
• 29:43
  Erin Gray: We can't get our time back.
• 29:45
  Erin Gray: And that that ever chasing of like you're if you're looking at somebody else and you're trying to, you know, compare your worthiness to somebody else, like it's, it's, it's a losing game and it doesn't feel good in the body.
• 30:00
  Erin Gray: And so, really, what are you focused on your lane, who you are, what you want, and really getting clear on that I think is kind of the first step of you know, coming back home to yourself and recognizing, like what you desire may look completely different than someone else.
• 30:20
  Erin Gray: And, like you said you didn't use the word projection, but your teachers were projecting on you what they would do right, and that's not necessarily what everyone else would do, and so I love that you shared that.
• 30:30
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I read one of those life-changing memes on the Facebook the other day that was talking about when we see the potential in someone else.
• 30:35
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: What we're actually seeing is what we would do in their position, and I was like, oh, is that, that's totally what?
• 30:41
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: What I have been done at different times in my life and what other people have projected onto me and to your point.
• 30:48
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: It doesn't feel good and I still believe, if it doesn't feel good, you could be doing it better.
• 30:54
  Erin Gray: Yeah totally, I love it.
• 30:55
  Erin Gray: Do you have anything else that you want to add that maybe we didn't cover?
• 30:58
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: Um, I feel like you and I could talk for hours and I love that we I this conversation actually feels pretty complete.
• 31:04
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: I definitely think that there is value in you know people, exploring their human design and really understanding what is the energetic blueprint that you are uniquely hardwired with.
• 31:18
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: What are, where do your predictable strengths live?
• 31:22
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: Where do your predictable challenges live?
• 31:25
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: And then, how do you apply that to your successful business plan is, I mean, it's been a game changer for me to share with others and, whether you choose to work with me or not, I highly recommend that you look into your human design and start to explore and really begin to understand where does your, where does your resiliency live in your chart as well, and how can you leverage that to be successful in your life, regardless of what you're pursuing.
• 31:51
  Erin Gray: I love it because when I learned about it and started really diving into it, it did two things.
• 31:56
  Erin Gray: It gave me, like the, the exhale of, like you know, I think we all know who we truly are.
• 32:02
  Erin Gray: It's like the permission to actually be that.
• 32:05
  Erin Gray: And it also gave me so much more compassion for my family, immediate family and, you know, parents and and siblings, and friends and things like that because it was like, oh, like you get to support them Cause you know, like you said, their strengths, their challenges and and it didn't become personal anymore, right, it was like, oh, they're not trying to do this, it's like this is just kind of how their energy moves or this is how you know this shows up for them, and so it's not about me, um, so, yeah, I am a big believer and I always encourage you know, go get, go get your human design chart, either on mine or on Leslie's website.
• 32:42
  Erin Gray: I'm sure you probably have it.
• 32:42
  Erin Gray: And where can people find you?
• 32:44
  Erin Gray: Learn more about you?
• 32:45
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: So my business is aligned living and leadership.
• 32:47
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: My website is all of that aligned living and leadershipcom and you can use all of that to find me on all of the socials the Facebook, the Instagram, the LinkedIn, all things.
• 32:57
  Leslie Tankersley Arboleda: And my name is Leslie Tankersley Arboleta.
• 33:01
  Erin Gray: Thanks, leslie, for being here.
• 33:02
  Erin Gray: Did you learn something today?
• 33:04
  Erin Gray: Do you know another female entrepreneur who might be avoiding her money?
• 33:08
  Erin Gray: Will you send this episode over to her for me and, if you have it in you, please leave me a review for this podcast.
• 33:15
  Erin Gray: It helps the show grow and I love hearing from you.
• 33:18
  Erin Gray: See you next week.